2. Relationships

2

Relationships

Relationships are at the heart of coaching. The core competencies in this category are all about relationships—how to build them, how to set clear expectations for them, how to use strengths-based strategies that foster strong relationships and learning, and how to be aware of your own biases and the unique experiences that may affect your relationships. This chapter offers tips and strategies to establish a strong foundation for coaching relationships.

1. Relationship-building and Trust Builds trust through transparency, openness, and honesty

CORE COMPETENCY

“You have to begin by seeing, talking with, listening to, and learning from the people who are in the field, day in and day out.” Jablon, Dombro, & Johnsen (2016)

Over and over in OST we hear that “it’s all about relationships.” Whether you are working with youth, building community partnerships to strengthen program sustainability, or participating in city- or statewide efforts to support quality OST, relationships matter. Relational-cultural theory (see Chapter 1) helps us understand how growth and learning can occur through relationships.

FOR REFLECTION How have important relationships shaped your learning?

Similarly, effective coaching begins with relationships. Start by establishing your relationship with program leaders or your staff team as a partner in learning. Together, you and the people you coach are equal players in the effort to improve program quality. Use the strategies outlined below to build rapport and trust.

Build rapport These tips can help you build rapport. Note that building rapport with the program leader and staff team can look different for external coaches and internal coaches.

• Explain your coaching role to staff and modify your plan to fit the program’s needs. Make sure team members know they can approach you with questions. Explain that a coach is a learning partner in the continuous improvement process. (See Core Competency 2.) Touring the site and meeting the staff is the first step. Take note of names. Rather than filling out forms, talk with staff and observe the program. Distinguish your role as program leader from your role as coach. • Broaden your awareness of each individual’s professional experiences and values to help you establish a true learning partnership. Get to know the program leader and core team, including their strengths and experiences. Share information about yourself to establish common

ground. You may learn that you and a staff member spent summers working at the same camp, recently went to the same conference, or live in the same neighborhood. Be aware of your cultural perspective and open yourself to learn about others’ experiences. Even if you have been working with your colleagues for a long time, you can still learn more about each other. Set up time to share professional experiences and values. • Keep up with changes in program staff or approach. For example, when an afterschool program switches to summer camp, it may experience a large influx of staff or substantial curriculum changes. Take time with new staff to describe the ongoing coaching and CQI work.

Build trust The foundation of any relationship is trust. People build trust both by being trustworthy and by demonstrating trust in others. All partners in a relationship must be willing to take the risk of being open in their interactions. When they trust their coach, program leaders and staff are more likely to be willing to try new approaches (Jablon, Dombro, & Johnsen, 2016).

As a review, here are some basic ways to establish trust:

• If external circumstances affect your timeliness, call to see whether to start late or reschedule. If you have to cancel at the last minute, apologize, and be as flexible as possible in rescheduling. • Deal graciously with other people’s scheduling issues, frustrating as they may be in the moment. • Stay focused on the goal of the visit or meeting while being responsive to new issues. • Follow up promptly. The sooner you respond to requests for help or Adults who establish and sustain trust information, the more your learning with each other can be great role models partners will feel supported. for program participants. Let youth see • Listen carefully. (See Chapter healthy relationship-building in action! 3, Core Competency 2, Active

Listening.) • Be open and authentic in sharing your thoughts and experiences. • If tensions rise during a coaching session, pause to explore the issues.

Talk with the other person about how to rebuild trust. The trust lost in one negative interaction on a stressful day may require a number of positive interactions to rebuild.

2. Clear Expectations CORE COMPETENCY Defines, clarifies, and reaches agreement with the program leader or staff team about roles, responsibilities, and realistic expectations

An important early step in the coaching relationship is developing a shared understanding of the function of coaching. The coaching model suggested in this guide is collaborative: The coach and program leader or staff team become learning partners. Take time to set explicit expectations, both at the beginning and throughout the process, to keep the relationship on track.

The steps you can take to clarify expectations are in many cases similar to steps that help to establish relationships. Clear expectations are a foundation of healthy relationships.

When coaches and program leaders and/or staff teams “create a learning partnership, they avoid the power dynamic that often develops unintentionally in the coaching relationship… You bring knowledge and expertise to the relationship, but the [staff member] brings knowledge, too.” The coach is freed from being the keeper of the knowledge and fixer of problems, and the staff member is freed from just listening and doing what the coach says.

Jablon, Dombro, & Johnsen (2016)

Work with your team to tap into their motivation for quality improvement. This may look a little different for external and internal coaches.

• Explore what it means to be learning partners. Your role is to build the capacity for improvement through facilitation and reflection. The coaching relationship is successful if the people you coach strengthen their ability to reflect on what is working and embark on self-discovery to improve practices. Explain that there will be times that neither of you have the answers, so you will need to be open to investigating solutions together.

Clarify with staff that, as a coach, you are not wearing your supervisor hat, but rather working collaboratively. It takes time to build trust, particularly if you sometimes wear a compliance hat, as many OST program leaders must. • Make sure there is group buy-in before proceeding. Decide who will be involved, set an initial timeframe, and discuss roles and responsibilities. Set expectations for the work ahead with the leadership team. Discuss and set best times to meet. Decide how to manage the meetings in which the core work of developing and implementing the CQI plan will be done.

Set ground rules, such as: • Assume best intentions, knowing that every person wants to see progress. • Maintain confidentiality on all issues discussed. • Give everyone a chance to share ideas. • Identify preferred ways to communicate between meetings: emails, phone calls, texts, in-person check-ins. Face-to-face meetings when possible are the most effective way to build and maintain coaching relationships. • Check in with each other on the effectiveness of the change process (Pennsylvania State University, 2017).

Identify what you need from the program leader or team and what they need from you. Ask these questions: • What is working, and what should I do more of? • What else do you need? • What could change about the coaching supports? Enable your direct reports to share open and honest feedback by establishing a climate of mutual respect.

Be specific about what you plan to do as a coach, including:

• Selecting and supporting the CQI team if you are an internal coach, or helping the program leader to do so if you are an external coach. • Keeping a good balance between processes and tasks. For example, establishing a climate of dialogue is as important as helping the team collect data to inform decision-making. • Responding to the needs identified by the program leader or staff team by sharing resources or modeling research-based practice. • Helping the program leader or staff team gather data from program observations and surveys. • Focusing the program leader or staff team on implementing the CQI action plan.

3. Strengths-Based Approach CORE COMPETENCY Focuses on assets to build on individual, team, and organizational strengths

By focusing on the assets and strengths of individuals, teams, and organizations, coaches can effectively facilitate change. The following strategies work for both external and internal coaches.

• Get off to a positive and empowering start. During the initial meeting, begin by asking the program leader or staff team to identify their strengths.

Starting with strengths rather than deficits changes the dynamic of the relationship. It establishes that you want to hear about the knowledge, experiences, and accomplishments that are the foundation of Be mindful of the cycle of the school year, and think of ways to boost positivity at certain times. Right before program improvement. or after school breaks or when the • Continue to be positive. In weather has been bad for a while, subsequent meetings and conver- anyone can get into a slump! sations, start by checking in about recent developments. Ask specifically about successes or lessons learned. You may want to suggest that the program leader or staff team set up a place in the office where they can jot down these thoughts. This tactic gets them in the habit of thinking about their growth and strengths. • Engage in active listening. Be curious about the perspectives of the people you coach. Your job is to understand the perspectives and thinking that drive their practice. (See Chapter 3, Core Competency 2, Active Listening.) • Notice moments of effectiveness. Focus on moments of successful practice. Guide the people you coach to look for strengths and articulate what they are doing well. Have them give specifics about a successful approach or promising practice. Guide them to describe the positive effect and to think about how to increase their use of this practice (Jablon, Dombro, &

Johnsen, 2016). • Encourage the program leader or staff team to tell you what is working well and what could change, rather than you telling them. Facilitate and teach the process of brainstorming strategies and of evaluating which strategies hold the most promise. Remind the people you’re coaching to reflect on the impact of the strategy after they’ve implemented it. When the team owns the goal, the strategy, and the implementation, the change is more likely to be sustained.

Here’s an example of how a strengths-based approach can work in practice. Let’s say the CQI team wants to see more staff-family interactions. You help by observing family pick-up at the end of a program day. In a meeting with the staff afterward, you describe an effective interaction you saw between a parent and a staff member. You ask how staff can have more such interactions. At first staffers complain that the end of the day is hectic, with many wrap-up tasks to accomplish. But they fully agree that the successful parent-staff interaction is their vision of what should happen! You therefore encourage them to persist in brainstorming strategies. They agree on two different approaches to try. At the next meeting, they will reflect with you on how those approaches worked.

4. Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion CORE COMPETENCY Promotes equity by supporting and appreciating people of all identities, experiences and abilities

Building knowledge about equity and cultural and linguistic competency helps coaches communicate and work effectively with all people. Here are a few ways to begin building your skills.

• Participate in training related to culturally and linguistically responsive practice. Don’t forget to allow time for reflection. Start by exploring how your own culture influences your thinking and actions (Kennedy, Bronte-Tinkew, &

Matthews, 2007). • Include time during reflective conversations with the program leader or staff team to talk about responding respectfully and effectively across ability, class, culture, gender, language, race, sexual identity, and other differences. • Strengthen your communication skills. (See Chapter 3.) Start by asking questions and using active listening. Explore ways to increase your comfort level in facilitating conversations about differences such as race, class, or gender identity. Coaches also can help program leaders and staff teams to consider equity and inclusion in program design and implementation, encouraging them to:

• Make sure that the CQI team represents the program’s cultural makeup so decisions are informed by diverse viewpoints. • Open the conversation about an inclusive culture using open-ended questions like these (Mulligan & Kozleski, 2010): • How are divergent viewpoints honored and shared?

• How do staff members respond to agreement and disagreement? • What norms can you set that encourage a full range of views? • How can you model inclusivity and encourage young people to do the same? • Review program space and activity design to make sure they are accessible and welcome all learners and their families. • Strengthen communications with families in languages and using methods that are welcoming, supportive, and familiar. In many communities, electronic communications are not sufficient. • Make sure program or organizational supports and policies are responsive to the needs of staff and families. • Include equity and cultural competency indicators in staff core competencies. • Make sure that job descriptions and interview protocols are Larger OST programs or programs with inclusive. Seek diverse staff multiple locations should be sure that teams that are reflective of the they are culturally responsive across all community served. sites and activities. Don’t assume that • Consider cultural and community the largest or most established program is representative! Look for evidence of context when selecting improve- cultural competency at each site. ment strategies. • When possible, translate any new materials or approaches into local languages and pilot test before implementing (Lopez, Hofer, Bumgarner, & Taylor, 2017). • Review all program assessments, interviews, and surveys for ableism and cultural and linguistic responsiveness (Lopez et al., 2017). Another thing coaches can encourage programs to do toward more Community mapping can be a very useful equitable relationships is to further exercise for identifying informal and the opportunities and stability of families. Programs can establish partnerformal partnerships. OST staff who are also members of the local community may be particularly knowledgeable about who ships with schools and community does what and where. Coaches can faciliorganizations to support the needs tate this exercise. of families beyond afterschool care, such as community mental health, physical health and wellness, juvenile and adult justice and restorative justice, English-language learner support, employment, housing, and immigration support, trauma-informed care, inclusivity, special needs, and many more.

FOR REFLECTION If you are an internal coach, what immediate steps can you or did you take to distinguish your role as program leader from your role as a coach? If you are an external coach, what information about you would help you establish common ground with the program leader and staff?

Think about behaviors and actions that help build trust with someone. Are the behaviors and actions for sustaining trust always the same, or do they change as the relationship matures?

What work have you done recently to develop your cultural and linguistic competence? How could your work benefit if you develop new skills?

Relationships References

Jablon, J., Dombro, A. L., & Johnsen, S. (2016). Coaching with powerful interactions: A guide for partnering with early childhood teachers. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children. Kennedy, E., Bronte-Tinkew, J., & Matthews, G. (2007). Enhancing cultural competence in out-ofschool time programs: What is it and why is it important? Child Trends. https://www.childtrends. org/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/2007-03CulturalCompetenceOST.pdf Lopez, M., Hofer, K., Bumgarner, E., & Taylor, D. (March 2017). Developing culturally responsive approaches to serving diverse populations: A resource guide for community-based organizations. National Research Center on Hispanic Children and Families. http://www. hispanicresearchcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Cultural-Competence-Guide.pdf Mulligan, E. M., & Kozleski, E. M. (2010). Culturally responsive coaching for inclusive schools. http:// niusileadscape.org/docs/FINAL_PRODUCTS/LearningCarousel/GuideCoachingDialogues.pdf