Born for this by Lifetogether Ministries

Copyright ” 2016 by Bayside Church ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Published by LifeTogether Copyright and use of the curriculum template is retained by Brett Eastman. Unless otherwise noted, all scripture quotes are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 and 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. ISBN #: 978-1-945589-18-8 Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents Welcome Using This Workbook (Read This First) Outline for Each Session

04 06 07

Sessions Session One: Session Two: Session Three: Session Four: Session Five: Session Six: Session Seven:

Born for Purpose Born for Confidence Born for Impact Born for Unity Born for Christ Born for Joy Born for Generosity

08 14 20 26 32 38 44

Appendices Frequently Asked Questions Small Group Agreement Small Group Calendar Memory Verse Cards (Clip and Review) Prayer and Praise Report Small Group Roster

52 54 56 57 58 59

Small Group Leaders The 10 Commandments of Great Groups

Intro

Welcome Too often we spend our days stressed out, leading to feelings of being worn out, that ends up producing lives that are burned out. Is there a better way?

The Apostle Paul was shackled in chains in a Roman prison as he wrote the powerful words contained in the book of Philippians. In spite of this he was filled with a joy that no jail cell could contain. What would happen if your stress changed into joy? This series, this study guide and the group of people you are circling up with are keys to unlocking that joy. Paul, inspired by God’s Spirit, wrote the timeless truths of the book of Philippians and for generations people of all backgrounds, cultures and circumstances have seen transformation as they lived out these truths. We believe that every single person at Bayside can experience that same transformation, especially as we pursue Christ’s joy together. What exactly does this book and this group experience offer? - The opportunity to connect (or reconnect) in real friendship - A clearer understanding of God’s most powerful truths

Here’s our advice on how to make the most of your experience. - Start right. The more you invest at the start the more you will get out of the group. Spend some time really getting to know or catching up with each other before you dive into the study and discussion. The best learning takes place when we connect relationally first. - Don’t miss a single week. This study builds truth upon truth. To get it all make the time to be present every week. - Make sure you laugh a lot. After all, this series is all about finding real joy. Finally, we want to say thanks. Every pastor at every Bayside campus knows that the front lines of real ministry happens in groups. Jesus’ will for his church is clear – take great care of people, starting in our homes, neighborhoods and workplaces. By circling up house to house, just like the early church, you are living out the will of God!

- Finding a circle of people who care when life goes sideways - A fresh start towards new habits that will strengthen every area of your life

Sincerely, Ray, Lincoln, Curt, Andrew and the entire Bayside team

Using This Workbook 1 Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: (1) Sessions; (2) Appendices; and (3) Small Group Leaders. Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will be used in the sessions themselves. 2 If you are hosting or co-hosting a small group, the section Small Group Leaders will give you some experiences of others that will encourage you and help you avoid many common obstacles to effective small group leadership. 3 Use this workbook as a guide, not a straightjacket. If the group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the Small Group Leaders section. 4 Enjoy your Small Group experience. 5 Pray before each sessionâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;for your group members, for your time together, or wisdom and insights. 6 Read the Outline for Each Session on the next pages so that you understand how the sessions will flow.

Outline of each session A typical group session for the Born for This study will include the following sections. Read through this to get a clear idea of how each group meeting will be structured: WEEKLY MEMORY VERSES. Each session opens with a Memory Verse that emphasizes an important truth from the session. The verses for our seven sessions are also listed in the appendix. INTRODUCTION. Each lesson opens with a brief thought that will help you prepare for the session and get you thinking about the particular subject you will explore with your group. SHARE YOUR STORY. This section includes some simple questions to get you talking— letting you share as much or as little of your story as you feel comfortable doing. HEAR GOD’S STORY. When the study directs you to, you’ll pop in the DVD and watch a short teaching segment. You’ll then have an opportunity discuss the teaching and the text. DAILY DEVOTIONS. Check out the Refuel devotions – text “refuel” to 56316.

Session 1

Born for Purpose I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. Philippians 1:9 (NLT)

There are so many places we look for happiness: our jobs, the money we make from our jobs, the things we buy with the money we make from our jobs. Or maybe our search for happiness is less material and more relational; it’s easy to expect our marriages, our kids, our dating relationships or our friends to bring us happiness. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying possessions or people, but none of them can bring us the lasting happiness we all

long for. As we’ll see over the next seven weeks, there is only one source for true purpose, meaning, and joy – loving, serving, knowing and trusting Jesus.

STA RT HE R E

Share your story

Take a few minutes to answer the following questions in your group and get to know each other. Share as little or as much as you want. Give us a 60-second bio about yourself – whatever you want to let us know!

“The Christian life minus Philippians equals no impact.”

Is this your first time in a small group?

Use the Notes space provided below to record any questions or thoughts you want to discuss with the group.

Watch the DVD

...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................

Hear God’s Story

Talk about what you learned from the video and how you might apply it to your life.

How was the city of Philippi like our country today? Does that make the book of Philippians more relevant to your life? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Do you agree there is a difference between happiness and joy? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

In what ways are discouragement and anxiety changing our culture? How is it impacting your life personally? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Why are some people able to live the joyful life that Philippians talks about while others struggle? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

React to the concept that “discouragement precedes destruction.” Have you experienced that to be true in your own life? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

“The Apostle Paul writes to people without perfect backgrounds.”

Daily Devotionals Check out the Refuel devotions – text “refuel” to 56316

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

A new day for the church

God opened new opportunities

God opened different hearts

Day 4

Day 5

God opened prison doors

Joy is the heart of Philippians

Session 2

Born for Confidence He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

It’s fun to start a new hobby, and it’s inspiring to make resolutions for the new year. As we buy fitness equipment, learn how to

use that complicated camera, or stock our shelves with healthy food, we are full of enthusiasm for new adventures. Of course, often that treadmill or weight set goes unused. The camera takes a few pictures and then you just get too busy to keep going. You get tired of rice cakes and vegetables and decide the fast-food drive through is calling your name. It’s so exciting to start something new, but it’s so easy to quit when it gets hard.

It’s one thing to quit training for a marathon or to stop eating vegan; it’s something else to give up on God and stop trusting him. Today, we’re looking at the first chapter of Philippians and what it can teach us about finding joy by focusing on others, finding friendships, and finishing well with God.

START HERE

Share your story

Take a few minutes to answer the following questions in your group and get to know each other. Share as little or as much as you want.

“Selfcenteredness destroys joy.”

Share a time when you served others. How did it make you feel? Who’s your best friend? What makes him or her so important to you?

Use the Notes space provided below to record any questions or thoughts you want to discuss with the group.

Watch the DVD

Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story

Talk about what you learned from the video and how you might apply it to your life.

Does focusing on others increase your joy? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Do you have relationships that encourage you? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Do you have areas of your life where you need to trust God more? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Is there an area of your life where you need the reminder to keep going and not give up? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Have you ever experienced a time when you felt isolated? How did you respond? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

“Friendships are built, not found.”

Daily Devotionals Check out the Refuel devotions – text “refuel” to 56316

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Finishing well through the power of Christ

Finishing through healthy partnerships

Finishing through dynamic promises

Day 4

Day 5

Finishing through specific prayers

The fruit of righteousness

Session 3

Born for Impact For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21

You’re stuck in a foreign jail, far from many of the friends and ministry partners you care about. The food is neither good nor plentiful. You don’t know if you’ll get out alive. And you’re

there just because you preached about Jesus, while outside lots of other people are doing the exact same thing—and stealing your audience! What’s your response? For most of us, it would be selfpity, depression, and maybe even blaming God for the situation. But Paul chooses to go a different direction; he accepts his situation, uses it as an opportunity to share Christ, and rejoices daily in his opportunities to serve. This kind of joy is

revolutionary, and it’s a model for how we can live. When we embrace suffering and change our perspective, our impact – like Paul’s – can be eternal.

START HERE

Share your story

Take a few minutes to answer the following questions in your group and get to know each other. Share as little or as much as you want.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Courage is contagious.â&#x20AC;?

Go around the room and briefly describe someone who has had a big impact on your life. Now go back around a second time and share the difficulties and setbacks that person experienced in his or her life. Is there a connection between the hardships they lived and the impact they had?

Use the Notes space provided below to record any questions or thoughts you want to discuss with the group.

Watch the DVD

Hear God’s Story

Talk about what you learned from the video and how you might apply it to your life.

Does it make sense that suffering can lead to greater impact, or does it seem that we’d have more impact if we weren’t struggling? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Has a negative situation in your life ever turned out to give you more impact than you might have had otherwise? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Do you ever get jealous of other people’s impact or influence? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Do you have a sense of what you’re called to? Does that change the way you serve others? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Does having an eternal perspective make it easier to embrace suffering and service? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Maturity is done in community, not in isolation.â&#x20AC;?

Daily Devotionals Check out the Refuel devotions – text “refuel” to 56316

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

We impact through our willingness to embrace suffering

We impact through our willingness to develop maturity

We impact through our willingness to grasp eternity

Day 4

Day 5

We impact through our willingness to keep serving

To live is Christ, to die is gain

Session 4

Born for Unity In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5

Powerful things happen when people unite. In 1963 more than 250,000 people marched on

Washington to protest racism and to promote civil rights. For decades in the 19th century, women picketed and went on hunger strikes before finally earning the right to vote. And two thousand years ago, a small group of fishermen, tax collectors, and outcasts turned the world upside down with the good news of Jesus Christ. These groups didn’t make a difference because everyone was the same. They didn’t get things done because they were full of

people who agreed on every detail. Instead, they found unity around a shared mission that was more important than their individual differences. The same is true for us as Christians. This week we’re looking at the example of Jesus and what that means for our relationships with other believers. When we learn how to be one in spirit, there’s no limit to how the Spirit can work in our lives.

START HERE

Share your story

Take a few minutes to answer the following questions in your group and get to know each other. Share as little or as much as you want. Share a time when you found it difficult to get along with someone else. (Unless that person is in your group!)

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Our tuning fork is Christ.â&#x20AC;?

Share a time when you were part of a team or a group that really worked well together.

Use the Notes space provided below to record any questions or thoughts you want to discuss with the group.

Watch the DVD

Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story

Talk about what you learned from the video and how you might apply it to your life.

Does unity mean uniformity? Do we have to be the same and agree on everything to be unified? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Why is unity important to God? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Is conflict increasing or decreasing in your life? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Do you find it easy or difficult to apologize to others? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

What do you need to change so you can have more unity with others? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

“Spiritual maturity is learning to walk hand in hand when we don’t see eye to eye.”

Daily Devotionals Check out the Refuel devotions – text “refuel” to 56316

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Unity doesn’t mean….

Like-minded

Having the same love

Day 4

Day 5

One in spirit

One in mind

Session 5

Born for Christ I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. Philippians 3:10 (NLT)

If there’s anyone who seemed to have it all together, it was the apostle Paul as a young man. He’d been raised in a devout Jewish home where every

religious rule was followed. He could trace his heritage back to the beginnings of the Israelite people and he was one of the highest-ranking religious officials of the time. But before he became a Christ-follower himself, Paul had stood by and watched when some of the firstcentury believers were killed for their faith. While Paul had much to be proud of, he also had much to regret. In his book The Purpose-Driven Life, pastor Rick Warren writes, “We are products of our past,

but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” Like Paul, we’ve all been shaped by our past; we all have choices we’d like to un-make and decisions we’d like to undo. But Jesus came to bring grace for our past, joy for our present, and freedom for our future. This week, we’ll learn how to deal with our regrets and move forward into the life Jesus wants for us – a life founded on faith for today and power for tomorrow.

START HERE

Share your story

Take a few minutes to answer the following questions in your group and get to know each other. Share as little or as much as you want. Are you a perfectionist or are you more laid-back?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I-shouldhaves are the emotional cancer of the human soul.â&#x20AC;?

Were you raised in church? Did you grow up with a lot of religious rules?

Use the Notes space provided below to record any questions or thoughts you want to discuss with the group.

Watch the DVD

Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story

Talk about what you learned from the video and how you might apply it to your life.

Which one takes up more space in your brain: regrets from the past or worries about the future? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Do you know what a legalist is? As a group, discuss what this term means and how it applies to our faith. ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Does Jesus love us more when we do more for him? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

How does Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s law create boundaries for us? Do those boundaries bring frustration or freedom? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Why do we keep going back to rules and performance in our faith? Do you find it difficult to remain focused on Christ? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

“Rules without relationship equal rebellion.”

Daily Devotionals Check out the Refuel devotions – text “refuel” to 56316

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Paul’s past: the accountant

Paul’s present: the athlete

Paul’s future: the alien

Day 4

Day 5

Resisting legalism

Focusing on Jesus

Session 6

Born for Joy Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

Most of us can rejoice when things are going well. When our relationships are strong, our kids are healthy, our checking account has some cushion and our car is running, it’s pretty easy to

feel grateful and glad. However, Philippians tells us to rejoice even when things aren’t going well. In fact, we’re told to rejoice always – even when facing stress, sickness, loss, lack, and a busted transmission. As Christians, we rejoice not in our situation but in our Savior. Paul experienced joy, peace, and gratitude from a prison cell, and today we’ll look at how we can experience the same blessings in our lives.

START HERE

Share your story

Take a few minutes to answer the following questions in your group and get to know each other. Share as little or as much as you want. Do you tend to be a worrier? (If not, we’re guessing your spouse is!)

“You’ve got a good God who is FOR you. Rejoice in his lordship.”

What are three things you’re thankful for?

Use the Notes space provided below to record any questions or thoughts you want to discuss with the group.

Watch the DVD

Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story

Talk about what you learned from the video and how you might apply it to your life.

You probably know Christians are supposed to obey the Lord. Is it a new idea for you that we would rejoice in the Lord? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Do you think of God as approachable or as distant? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

What happens when you compare your problems to Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s size? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

How do we combat anxiety? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Why does Paul say to include thanksgiving when we ask God for peace? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

“Here’s some great theology for you: God big.”

Daily Devotionals Check out the Refuel devotions – text “refuel” to 56316

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

15 references to joy

Rejoice through the Lord

Rejoice through worry: prayer and petition

Day 4

Day 5

Rejoice through worry: with thanksgiving

Rejoice through contentment

Session 7

Born for Generosity And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

During the Crusades, knights would often be baptized while stretching their right hands

above the water. They carried their swords in their right hands, and did not want to give up that part of their life – their involvement in wars and their devotion to battles – over to God. Preventing their hand from going under the water was a symbolic way of holding something back instead of putting it all under the leadership of Jesus. Although it might not be quite as obvious, we also try to keep certain parts of our lives away

from faith and out of God’s control – especially our money. But God is a giver who loves to lavish good things on us, and he’s created us to be generous, too. As we close this study, let’s consider why generosity is so important, and how it can bring us joy.

START HERE

Share your story

Take a few minutes to answer the following questions in your group and get to know each other. Share as little or as much as you want. Do you get tense when pastors talk about money?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Stability, strength, and generosity are related.â&#x20AC;?

Share about a time when you were struggling financially.

Use the Notes space provided below to record any questions or thoughts you want to discuss with the group.

Watch the DVD

Hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Story

Talk about what you learned from the video and how you might apply it to your life.

Do you believe being generous can actually bring you joy? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

Have you ever experienced Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s blessing for giving? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

How does recognition of our weakness lead to strength? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

How is generosity a sign of maturity? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

What is holding you back from greater generosity? ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ...................................................................................................................................................................................... ......................................................................................................................................................................................

“God doesn’t want your money. He wants your heart.”

Daily Devotionals Check out the Refuel devotions – text “refuel” to 56316

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

Rejoicing through generosity

Generosity creates an account

Generosity creates an aroma

Day 4

Day 5

Generosity creates contentment

Generosity creates strength

Appendix

Frequently Asked Questions

you’ll be amazed at the people God sends your way. The next person just might become a friend for life. You never know!

What do we do on the first night of our group? Like all fun things in life—have a party! A “get to know you” coffee, dinner, or dessert is a great way to launch a new study. You may want to review the Group Agreement (page 54) and share the names of a few friends you can invite to join you. But most importantly, have fun before your study time begins.

How long will this group meet? Most groups meet weekly for at least their first six weeks, but every other week can work as well. We strongly recommend that the group meet for the first six months on a weekly basis if at all possible. This allows for continuity, and if people miss a meeting they aren’t gone for a whole month. At the end of this study, each group member may decide if he or she wants to continue on for another study. Some groups launch relationships for years to come, and others are stepping-stones into another group experience. Either way, enjoy the journey.

Where do we find new members for our group? This can be troubling, especially for new groups that have only a few people or for existing groups that lose a few people along the way. We encourage you to pray with your group and then brainstorm a list of people from work, church, your neighborhood, your children’s school, family, the gym, and so forth. Then have each group member invite several of the people on his or her list. Another good strategy is to ask church leaders to make an announcement or allow a bulletin insert. No matter how you find members, it’s vital that you stay on the lookout for new people to join your group. All groups tend to go through healthy attrition—the result of moves, releasing new leaders, ministry opportunities, and so forth—and if the group gets too small, it could be at risk of shutting down. If you and your group stay open,

Can we do this study on our own? Absolutely! This may sound crazy, but one of the best ways to do this study is not with a full house but with a few friends. You may choose to gather with another couple who would enjoy some relational time (perhaps going to the movies or having a quiet dinner) and then walking through this study. Jesus will be with you even if there are only two of you (Matthew 18:20).

How do we handle the childcare needs in our group? Very carefully. Seriously, this can be a sensitive issue. We suggest that you empower the group to openly brainstorm solutions. You may try one option that works for a while and then adjust over time. Our favorite approach is for adults to meet in the living room or dining room and to share the cost of a babysitter (or two) who can watch the kids in a different part of the house. This way, parents don’t have to be away from their children all evening when their children are too young to be left at home. A second option is to use one home for the kids and a second home (close by or a phone call away) for the adults. A third idea is to rotate the responsibility of providing a lesson or care for the children either in the same home or in another home nearby. This can be an incredible blessing for kids. Finally, the most common solution is to decide that you need to have a night to invest in your spiritual lives individually or as a couple and to make your own arrangements for childcare. No matter what decision the group makes, the best approach is to dialogue openly about both the problem and the solution.

What if this group is not working for us? You’re not alone! This could be the result of a personality conflict, life stage difference, geographical distance, level of spiritual maturity, or any number of things. Relax. Pray for God’s direction, and at the end of this six-week study, decide whether to continue with this group or find another. You don’t typically buy the first car you look at or marry the first person you date, and the same goes with a group. However, don’t bail out before the six weeks are up—God might have something to teach you. Also, don’t run from conflict or prejudge people before you have given them a chance. God is still working in your life, too!

Who is the leader? Most groups have an official leader. But ideally, the group will mature and members will rotate the leadership of meetings. We have discovered that healthy groups rotate hosts/leaders and homes on a regular basis. This model ensures that all members grow, give their unique contribution, and develop their gifts. This study guide and the Holy Spirit can keep things on track even when you rotate leaders. Christ has promised to be in your midst as you gather. Ultimately, God is your leader each step of the way. 53

Appendix

Small Group Agreement

Our Purpose:

To provide a predictable environment where participants experience authentic community and spiritual growth.

Group Attendance

To give priority to the group meeting. We will call or email if we will be late or absent. (Completing the Group Calendar on page 56 will minimize this issue.)

Safe Environment

To help create a safe place where people can be heard and feel loved. (Please, no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes.)

Respect Differences

To be gentle and gracious to fellow group members with different spiritual maturity, personal opinions, temperaments, or â&#x20AC;&#x153;imperfections.â&#x20AC;? We are all works in progress.

Confidentiality

To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and within the group, and to avoid sharing improper information about those outside the group.

Encouragement for Growth

To be not just takers but givers of life. We want to spiritually multiply our life by serving others with our God-given gifts.

Shared Ownership

To remember that every member is a minister and to ensure that each attender will share a small team role or responsibility over time.

Rorating Hosts/ Leaders and Homes

To encourage different people to host the group in their homes and to rotate the responsibility of facilitating each meeting. (See the Group Calendar on page 56.)

Our Expectations Refreshments/mealtimes: Childcare: When we will meet (day of week): Where we will meet (place): We will begin at (time): ______________ and end at: ____________ We will do our best to have some or all of us attend a worship service together. Our primary worship service time will be: Date of this agreement: Date we will review this agreement again: Who (other than the leader) will review this agreement at the end of this study:

Appendix

Small Group Calendar

Date

Lesson

Host Home

Dessert/Meal

Leader

Monday, Jan 15

Steveâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

Joe

Bill

Memory Verse Cards

SESSION ONE I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. Philippians 1:9 (NLT)

SESSION TWO He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

SESSION THREE For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21

SESSION FOUR In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5

SESSION FIVE I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. Philippians 3:10 (NLT)

SESSION SIX Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Philippians 4:4

SESSION SEVEN And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Prayer and Praise Report

Session 1

Small Group Roster

NAME

ADDRESS

PHONE

MINISTRY

OTHER

Small Group Leaders

The 10 Commandments of Great Groups 1

FUEL the launch

Proverbs 13:16 A wise man thinks ahead; a fool doesn’t, and even brags about it!

Key: Thinking ahead about how to get the group off the ground will save you time and energy in the long run.

Here are some simple ideas to think ahead about. • Create expectation: A text or phone call the day of the first group meeting helps everyone feel welcome and prepared.

• Create ownership: Get others involved by recruiting people to bring snacks or asking someone to be ready to open/close in prayer. • Create warmth: Most people don’t return to group because they did not feel a connection. DON’T WORRY ABOUT ALL THE MATERIAL AND QUESTIONS. Your first goal is to be friendly and welcoming.

• Prepare the room: Create a comfortable circle for seating.

• Prepare the discussion: Go over your questions with your co-leader to make sure you are clear, engaging, and brief.

• Stick to a simple but informal format a. Prayer/Introductions/bonding time (20 min.) b. Show clip (15 min.) c. Open-ended questions/discussion (about 30 min.) d. Inclusive prayer (5 min.) e. Informal time to hang out (10-30 min.)

Facilitate PERSONAL CONNECTION First

Prov. 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Yes, we want people to learn the Bible, discuss big issues and grow in the knowledge of Christ, but as a wise person once said no one care what you know until they know you care. One of the most important jobs of a group host is to help people truly connect with one another.

Key: Process relationship before task

• Encourage people to connect outside of the group. They can sit together at church, grab lunch or get a coffee.

How do you process relationship? • LAUGH TOGETHER… Whether it is a funny (and clean) humorous clip from YouTube or a few veteran members sharing about their most embarrassing marriage moments, it is always a good idea to start with humor.

• •

Plan an extended meal and/or social gathering on a Friday night.

What else? Sporting events? Anyone go for walks in the same neighborhood…

Set Clear EXPECTATIONS from the Beginning

Prov. 29:18 Where there is no revelation, people cast off restraint; but blessed is the one who heeds wisdom’s instruction.

Key: If people do not know why they are doing something they will not do it for very long.

• Basic Expectations include: • Being on time. • Keeping discussions confidential. • Making group time a top priority for the next seven weeks. • Talking a little less if you are an extrovert. • Talking a little more if you are an introvert (If you don’t know which one you are ask your roommate or spouse!) • Helping each other apply the Bible to day-to-day life. • Create ownership by letting the group speak into the goals and feel of the gathering. • Define together what the end goal of the group should be. • Don’t be afraid to call people to a higher commitment. People want to grow and connect; that is why they show up.

“If you make little demands upon people, you will get a mean little response which is all you deserve, but if you make big demands on them, you will get a heroic response.” Douglas Hyde

AVOID SERMONISING

Prov. 18:2 Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions.

Key: The most powerful teacher should be the Holy Spirit inside of one’s own heart.

Why we lead great discussions instead of giving great lectures: • It allows the Holy Spirit to help people apply the teaching • It builds relationships • It honors all participants • It avoids someone coming off like a know-it-all

Ask GREAT QUESTIONS

Prov. 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. Key: Jesus started almost every interaction with a question.

Questions Jesus Asked • What will you gain by being worried? Matt 6:28 • Who are your most important relationships? Matt 12:48-49 • Who’s responsible for all this? Matt. 21:24-25 • Who is really the most powerful person? Luke 22:27-28 • What do you think? Matt. 17:25 • What is it you want? Matthew 20:21-22 • What do you want me to do for you? Matt 20:21-22

Qualities of a great question: • Ask questions that create dialogue (any dialogue) - “What was the most challenging part of that teaching?”

• Ask questions that create common ground - “What has your spouse done to encourage you in the last month?”

• Ask questions that share history - “When was your most spiritually challenging season?”

Remember people like to talk about themselves and their dreams.

The Goal – out of control discussion

Don’t Let Anyone DOMINATE (including yourself) 6 Prov. 18:13

If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

Key: The biggest reason small groups fail is because someone is dominating the conversation.

Why people dominate • No one has taught them ending skills • They are used to the lecture hall method of teaching • They are just wired that way – so it’s never going to be perfect

How to help the dominator • Politely and clearly call it out. Say, “In every group some want to talk too long and some want to talk not at all. Who are our talkers? Who are our more quiet people? Let’s help each other.” • Redirect the dominator: “Great thought John… Susan what do you think about that?” • Talk to them one-on-one outside of the group. “Hey, I have a challenge with how our group is going and I wonder if you can help me.”

Carefully Help the HIDER

Prov. 29:25 Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.

Key: The 2nd biggest reason small groups fail is because someone is hiding and won’t join the conversation. Why people hide • They feel performance pressure to say things perfectly • They are wired that way so it is never going to be perfect

How to help the hider • Give them early communication on discussion topics so they can think about what they would like to say ahead of time. • Facilitate silence between comments or create space by gently interrupting. Example: “I want to hear from some of you who haven’t jumped in yet.” • Talk to them one-on-one outside of the group. “Hey, I have a challenge with how our group is going and I wonder if you can help me.”

Be an Example of AUTHENTICITY Prov. 27:19 As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart.

Key: Vulnerability begets vulnerability

• Share your struggles first (duh) • Pray without using “religious” speak 68

• Don’t command someone to pray out loud (lots of folks get freaked out by this). • Don’t be tempted to give advice – instead ask questions

DELEGATE early

Luke 9:1-2 When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. Key: Leadership recruitment and training starts on day one.

Four stages of delegation: 1. Deliberate choosing: prayerfully and specifically select your individuals to step up to leadership. Challenge them to step up.

2. Doing together: Have them help you lead the discussion and host the room. Do it side by side. 3. Feedback: Ask them how they thought it went and give encouraging but honest evaluation. 4.

Ownership: Let them run the group while you sit back and enjoy.

HAVE FUN! This is VERY biblical… The first small groups weren’t a chore, they were life-giving:

Acts 2:46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts. Key: Stop when no one wants to leave - not when everyone has already checked out. Signs you’re doing it right • You have to keep everyone on track (that means people feel free to talk) • They show up too early • The meeting starts with laughter and end with the occasional tear • You have to kick them out after it’s over

oal: Remember that sometimes the conversation after the “official meeting” G is the best of the night. 69

“Get in the game!” has been the rallying cry of founding pastor Ray Johnston from the start of Bayside in 1995. Having crisscrossed the nation for years as a top instructor for Youth Specialties, Ray was determined to start a church that truly honored God and cared about every single kid, teen and adult. Two decades later over 15,000, people on five campuses call Bayside home and are fully engaged in the vision to reach wide, grow deep and unleash compassion. Team ministry has always been the backbone of Bayside’s approach. To that end, internationally known recording artist Lincoln Brewster joined the roaster in 2001 and as Ray loves to say “it was like hooking together live wires.” Accelerated growth at the Granite Bay campus soon lead to the planting of several churches in the region and in 2011 the launching of Bayside’s first offsite venue in Folsom, CA. About that time Curt Harlow, a popular speaker on college campuses joined the team. Next, Bob Balian, a church planter in the heart of Sacramento’s Midtown brought his young congregation into the Bayside club house as well. This partnership produced miraculous results. Bayside Midtown doubled several times and shows no signs of slowing to this day. Next came The Blue Oaks campus – which grew faster than anyone predicted - and stretched the team farther than anyone predicted. A global search for another speaking and leading pastor was launched. God provided when pastor and European leader Andrew McCourt of Belfast, Northern Ireland answered the call join the team in 2015.

You were born to experience peace, purpose, freedom, contentment, and generosity, but often our lives are filled with anxiety, regrets, guilt, and fear. In this seven-week study, pastors name, name, name, share insights from the book of Philippians – a book that was written from prison and yet is focused on joy. In the course of this study you’ll learn more about how you can find unity with others, connection with God, and unshakable joy no matter what your circumstances. Let the book of Philippians change your life – because you were born for this.

Session 1 Born for Purpose Session 2 Born for Confidence Session 3 Born for Impact Session 4 Born for Unity Session 5 Born for Christ Session 6 Born for Joy Session 7 Born for Generosity

Finally, to our surprise, in the spring of 2016 God began to put together a partnership with Adventure church in Roseville/Rocklin that has already exceeded expectations. What’s next? We don’t know but we are all convinced that we are only in the first inning of all the God has for Bayside.