HOW TO FIND THE RIGHT FIT

by Neisha Roberts

VISIT LIFELINECHILD.ORG/COUNSELING FOR A LIST OF LINKS TO ASSIST YOU AS YOU SEARCH FOR A THERAPIST.

ou’ve tried all the things you know to try with your new 8-year-old son to help him feel safe and Y welcome in your home. You’ve taken language classes to learn more than the basics. You’ve visited and revisited the training materials you were given in the adoption process. You’ve prayed, my, have you prayed. And yet, there are still seemingly insurmountable hurdles your family is facing. You confess your need for help.

That’s a big step. A courageous step. So where do you go from here? Who is qualified to help your unique family dynamic? How can you afford counseling? What are your options?

We’re glad you asked.

Not every counselor is created equal. It takes a trained professional to understand the unique challenges a require language, but offers some repairing experiences of care and safety that he desperately needed. Today, They understand that Malcolm’s responses are often out

family built through adoption or foster care will face. Violence is a very common response for children coming unknowingly only perpetuated the cycle of fear, anger, away from aggression, but Kristin and her daughter are

Lifeline’s Counseling & Education team is extensively trained in areas related to trauma and attachment and we’re an approved provider for Alabama DHR in Jefferson, Etowah, and Shelby counties. We accept private pay and some health insurance plans. There are also team members located in Cary, North Carolina, and Athens, Georgia. Because our families are located across the country, we want to help equip you to also find counselors in your area. Not sure what kind of therapy your specific situation necessitates? Here are a few generic examples of adoptive and foster families that have sought counseling (names and specifics do not reflect any particular family). If these seem all too familiar to you, consider reaching out to one of Lifeline’s Counseling & Education team members today.

Kate was adopted as an infant from another state and happily joined her forever family. As she grew and matured into a cute little pre-teen, she exhibited several sensory issues, having extreme difficulty with bright lights. As the family prepared to welcome another child into their family through adoption, they first sought counseling to help address the seemingly minor sensory issue related to traumatic experiences. Together, the counselor and parents discovered there was a much deeper trauma Kate was facing, even though she’d been adopted as a baby. A common phrase the Counseling & Education team uses is: “Adoption begins with loss,” reminding parents that no matter the age a child enters your home, they are bringing their own unique set of histories, traumas, and baggage. Several years later, Kate is still in counseling, alongside her parents, and is learning about her own identity as she enters into her Malcolm, born in another country, entered his forever family at the age of 12. He was just learning English so counseling, in the traditional sense, would have been very difficult to implement. Malcolm exhibited a different personality and preferences than mom and dad had ever anticipated, and it left them feeling rejected, no matter how hard they tried. Because language was a barrier, the counselors utilized Theraplay ® , which doesn’t to help build connection between parent and child. For Malcolm, this therapy helped repair earlier experiences that both he and his parents had missed out on by not being together from birth. It gave Malcolm experiences mom and dad are much more attuned with his needs. of fear, not because he doesn’t love or want them as his parents.

out of trauma, and it tends to be directed toward moms, our counselors shared. For mom, Kristin, it felt like she just had to deal with the aggression and take it in order to help her child heal. She understood it was a fight, flight, or freeze response from her child and sometimes just taught herself to endure the punches, kicks, and screams. But over time, it became too much (emotionally and physically) for Kristin to accept and she began to react in fear. She felt she needed to endure, but and shame. Through counseling, Kristin was equipped to respond therapeutically to help quiet the situation. Counselors used a variety of therapeutic interventions to help calm the child’s state so she could learn to use her words, rather than her fists. The counselors spent a concentrated amount of time working primarily with Kristin. It’s a slow healing and growing process to move teens.

making big strides.

Taking that step to seek help can be empowering and bring healing for your entire family. Remember, counseling is just another tool in your toolbox.

Contact us at: counseling@lifelinechild.org or 205-967-0811 or visit lifelinechild.org/counseling.