COUNSELING
Not Shameful-Hopeful by Neisha Roberts
Big or small, long-running or newly discovered, everyone faces challenges that could benefit from some time in counseling. But just as numerous as the challenges themselves are the reasons why counseling is often avoided: “I don’t have time.” “My child is just fine.” “I don’t want my friends to worry about me.” “My parents don’t think it’s necessary.” “I don’t like sharing my feelings with strangers.” “We can’t afford it.” “I’m ashamed to admit that I need help.” These are all genuine responses children and adults give in order to evade counseling. At the same time, these reasons reflect various stigmas associated with needing therapy. Stigmas definitely do exist and it’s important to acknowledge them, according to Ashley Yeager, one of Lifeline Children’s Services’ family therapists. But it’s important to remember that counseling is not a shameful option; it’s a hopeful option. “People that come to counseling are not messed up and they are not bad people,” Ashley shared. “Counseling is there to help people better themselves and to find the ways in which to do that. It can be for big or little things. Everybody can use counseling to help them think through the things they’re dealing with.” People might seek counseling for various reasons — financial problems, health issues, changing jobs, loss of a loved one. At Lifeline, we know from experience that families that have adopted domestically or internationally, or care for children through foster care, face unique challenges and often need help. The process of fostering or adoption is always hard, plain and simple. It can create completely unexpected challenges — within a marriage, between siblings, or in the family as a whole. That’s not because a parent or family member has done anything wrong or “failed in their role,” according to Angela Mains, licensed professional counselor and Lifeline’s Counseling Services Program Director. Sometimes parents can feel like they are “not a good enough Christian” or that they “don’t trust God enough” if they choose to seek counseling. The truth is, “kids are coming into families with suitcases and suitcases of challenges that have developed a long time before entering into their forever home,” Angela shared. Parents may be doing everything Summer 2020
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SOME COMMON FEELINGS ADOPTIVE OR FOSTER PARENTS HAVE: Mom or dad doesn’t feel attached to their child and feel shame because of it. Mom or dad feels like someone else would have been a better fit for their child. The children act differently than anticipated.
lifelinechild.org
