THE IMPORTANCE OF PLAY written by
LYNN BECKETT, POST-ADOPTION SPECIALIST
When I ask families how they are adjusting at home with their new child, they will often state, almost as an apology, “All we do is play; we are just playing.” When I hear this answer I want to shout from the rooftops “Hooray! Hooray! They are engaging in play!” Play is the most important activity of childhood. Karyn Purvis, co-author of The Connected Child, states, “Play is the language of children.” It is through play that children learn how to navigate the world and their place in it, how to gain confidence in their skills, and how to begin to make sense of their past and begin to heal from that past. Play is the best tool a parent has to build a strong attachment with their child and to help the child develop a strong foundation of trust and security. Knowing that play is important and builds connection, why then do we struggle to incorporate play into our lives? Parents gave insight to that question in a June 2016 poll conducted through a webinar hosted by Alabama Pre-Post Adoption: 40% stated they were too busy; 32% indicated sheer tiredness; 15% stated it is awkward and they don’t know how; and 5% stated it brought them stress.
GETTING STARTED BUILDING CONNECTIONS Play should not be stressful but fun for both parent and child. There is no set formula for playing “correctly,” so don’t let fear drive you to neglect such a powerful tool. However, consider the following suggestions to get started on a path to play: • Reflect on your own childhood and what you enjoyed; then, pass that enjoyment on to the next generation! • Observe your child as they play. See what interests them and then join them in play. Children love to be the leader in play and having a parent mirror what they are doing creates a great bond. • Help them to build and expand on their interests or develop new interests together. • Have a playful attitude throughout the day. Be intentional about making the most mundane tasks fun. For example, walking from the store to the car can turn into a quick game of follow the leader. Sitting at a red light can prompt a game of “I spy”. The Big Purple Dinosaur, Barney, was onto this concept as he sang “Clean up, Clean up, ‘cause we like to do our share,” while picking up toys. This playful song makes the job fun, and gets it done without the power struggle! So make up some songs of your own as you rake leaves, fold laundry and do the dusting. We had P.J. races at our house to see who could get theirs on the quickest, it took all the stall tactics out of going to bed!
Summer 2018
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lifelinechild.org