Life After 50 May

Page 1

LOS Angeles Los ANGELES Metro METRO MAY 2015

southern california

lifeafter50.com

A LOOK AT WOMEN’S

HEALTH

“The Waltons”

MICHAEL LEARNED NONSURGICAL

FACELIFTS?

MARIEL

HEMINGWAY ON “MANHATTAN,”

motherhood and

MENTAL ILLNESS


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Contents

May 2015

10

18

26

28

Cover Profile

Departments

10 Mariel Hemingway

6 50-Plus: What You Need to Know

Features

8 It’s The Law

Musing on “Manhattan,” motherhood, mental illness and more.

18 Life After 50 Looks At Women’s Health

Treating depression and staying happy and healthy.

A quick look at things 50-plusers should be aware of. Mitchell A. Karasov says help for mom is available.

33 Let’s Get Out

24 Is There Really Such Thing As A Non-surgical Facelift?

Looking to get out and about? Our May/June calendar has some great suggestions.

26 The Look Of Life After 50 – Michael Learned

Cruising on a budget.

Facial plastic surgeons debunk myths surrounding non-surgical facelifts. The actress who gave us Olivia Walton on her role as a mom – on-screen and off.

28 The Hallowed Hall Of Must-Knowtables * Moms Mabley Legendary notables that everyone, of every age, should know.

Cover photo by Keith Munyan / www.keithmunyan.com

37 Rick Steves’ Travels

40 United States Of Discovery

Paradisiacal Pampering – Rejuvenating the body, mind and soul Hawaiian style.

42 And Finally…The Bookworm’s Best, A Look Back and Just A Thought Before We Go

A book suggestion, memory, and a little something to leave you with.

All material published within this issue of Life After 50 and on www.lifeafte50.com is strictly for informational and educational purposes only. No individual, advice, product or service is in any way endorsed by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. or provided as a substitute for the reader’s seeking of individualized professional advice or instruction. Readers should seek the advice of qualified professional on any matter regarding an individual, advice, recommendations, services or products covered within this issue. All information and material is provided to readers with the understanding that it comes from various sources from which there is no warranty or responsibility by Life After 50 or Southland Publishing, Inc. as to its or their legality, completeness or technical accuracy.

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Editor’s Note...

The Remarkable And Extraordinary Mariel

I

’ve seen hundreds of films throughout my life and, while many have become a blur, others stand out vividly because of the film itself, the performance of the actors, its score, the theatre or city in which I saw it, or the person I was with. For me, Woody Allen’s 1979 film “Manhattan” will forever serve as a harmonic convergence of all the aforementioned elements. It was spring and New York City was alive in the way only autumn and the months that serve as the prelude to summer breathe life into the Big Apple. I was in my early 20s and in the throes of a romance. The young lady I was seeing was a browneyed exotic beauty who possessed a daze-inducing air of style and sophistication. The combination of those qualities, along with our shared love of Woody Allen films, made me feel she was both remarkable and extraordinary. And so, between an early dinner and late-night drinks, the remarkably exotic sophisticate and I caught the just-released “Manhattan.” Gloriously photographed by Gordon Willis and rich with the music of George Gershwin, Allen’s love letter to New York City has him playing a middle-aged man juggling trysts between a neurotic writer who is the mistress of his best friend, portrayed by Diane Keaton, and a fresh-faced teenager, played by Mariel Hemingway. Over those post-“Manhattan” cocktails with the extraordinary, brown-eyed, daze-inducer, we shared our critiques, declared it to be Woody’s best and laughed as we recalled some of the memorable lines. What I did not do that evening was entertain the then-unimaginable thought that 36 years later, on the other side of the country, I would be having another conversation about “Manhattan” – with Hemingway! But there we were, Mariel and me, looking out at the Pacific Ocean as it rolled against the shores of Malibu, talking about “Manhattan” and many other things. I can’t say I came into working on this month’s issue with any real opinion about “Papa’s” granddaughter other than that I loved her in “Manhattan.” That changed – greatly – as I read her two latest books, came to understand the maddening minefield of mental illness and addiction she lived through as a child, and had the opportunity to get to know her a bit. Lacking even the slightest hint of pretention with a down-to-Earth, solidly grounded sensibility and a charming sense of humor, you can’t help but come away from spending time with Hemingway without being totally impressed. That feeling is all the more magnified when you consider what she has survived, and more importantly, how she has thrived and dedicated herself to helping others who find themselves in an abyss similar to the one that could have easily destroyed her, as it did her entire family. As I put the final touches on this month’s issue, it is my hope that, since those long-gone days when I thought being remarkable and extraordinary was simply about daze-inducing physical attributes, I have gained at least a modicum of maturity to know better, and the skill as an interviewer and writer to properly impart to you, through this month’s feature on Hemingway, what a remarkable and extraordinary woman truly is.

Publisher Valarie Anderson Editor-in-Chief David Laurell Associate Editors Steve Stoliar Claire Yezbak Fadden Art Director Michael Kraxenberger Editorial Assistants Max Andrews Marie Giusto Blauvelt Account Executives Los Angeles/South Bay: Tonya McKenzie Tonya@lifeafter50.com San Diego County National and Orange County Accounts: Phil Mendelson Phil@lifeafter50.com

Ad Coordinator, Travel Landra DeLoach Landra@lifeafter50.com VP Of Finance Michael T. Nagami Human Resources Andrea E. Baker Business Manager Linda Lam Billing Supervisor Kacie Cobian VP Of Operations David Comden

For advertising/distribution inquiries contact: Valarie Anderson (310) 822-1629 x 121, Valarie@lifeafter50.com To contact our editorial department: (818) 563-1007 davidl@lifeafter50.com 5355 Mcconnell Ave LA CA 90066 Valarie Anderson Valarie@lifeafter50.com 310 822-1629 x 121 Follow us on facebook @Life_After50 ©2015 Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved

A May Thought

“All things seem possible in May.” – Edwin Way Teale

David Laurell, Editor-in-Chief

4 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015


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May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 5


50

The Color Of Honoring Mom

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his month, Americans will celebrate Mother’s Day for the 101st time. Originated by Philadelphian Anna Jarvis, who was seeking a way to honor the memory of her own mother, she felt a day designated to pay tribute to all mothers would give children the opportunity to let them know how much they mean to them. Heading up an aggressive letter-writing campaign to businessmen, elected officials and religious leaders, urging them to designate a day for mothers, Jarvis’ work paid off in 1914 when President Woodrow Wilson signed a declaration naming the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. While a long-standing tradition has been to present one’s mother with a corsage to wear on her special day, a second custom has emerged in which children wear a red carnation if their mother is living and a white one if their mother is deceased.

Plus

What You Need To Know

By Claire Yezbak Fadden and Max Andrews

Melissa Muses On Mom

It Just May Be Time For That Tuck

oan Rivers was a comedic legend from the neon lights of Las Vegas to the footlights of Broadway, and as a guest and host on myriad television shows. While fans got to know Joan during her 50-year career, there was only one person who really knew Joan intimately – her daughter and best friend, Melissa Rivers. Joan and Melissa had one of the most-celebrated mother-daughter relationships of all time and, for anyone who thinks Joan said some outrageous things during her performances, they won’t believe what she said and did in private. Joan’s love for her daughter knew no bounds – or boundaries, apparently, and in her new book, “The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief and Manipulation” (Archetype, May 2015), Melissa shares stories and life lessons from growing up in a household she describes as being “more Addams than Cleaver.” This tome is nothing short of delicious and chock-full of funny, poignant and irreverent observations, thoughts, and tales about the woman who raised her and is the reason she considers Valium one of the four basic food groups. Fans of the late comedienne who live in the Southern California area will have the opportunity to meet Melissa and have her sign a copy of her book on May 20 at 7:00 p.m. at the Barnes & Noble on Grove Drive in Los Angeles.

lastic surgeons are predicting the interest in cosmetic procedures – both surgical and non-surgical – will climb throughout 2015. “This is due to the improving economy, increased consumer awareness and a growing comfort level with the safety of cosmetic treatments,” says Dr. Stephen Park, facial plastic surgeon and president of the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. According to Dr. Park, there is nothing stopping today’s active aging Americans from looking as young as they feel and act. “It is increasingly common for both women and men in their 60s and 70s to seek out the expertise of facial plastic surgeons to maintain a youthful appearance. As less-invasive techniques continue to evolve, coupled with people living better and longer, there is really no maximum age for cosmetic procedures anymore,” says Dr. Park. A recent study showing that even octogenarians are at no higher risk for complications from cosmetic surgery when compared to their younger counterparts will likely encourage even more older Americans to seek cosmetic enhancements. Dr. Park says facial plastic surgeons are seeing more patients asking for little tweaks that can have a big impact on their overall appearance and self-esteem. Upon the most-requested are rejuvenating the delicate eyelid area. “When it comes to rejuvenation procedures, blepharoplasty often offers the most bang for the buck,” says Dr. Park. “The surgery can be performed under local anesthesia and take years off one’s face, with minimal risks, side effects and recovery time.” Other popular procedures include earlobe reduction, injecting fillers into creases in front of the ears and into the hollows of the face such as the temples and jawline, removing moles and birthmarks, lifting the upper lip through hidden incisions under the nostrils, as well as “soft lifts” using resorbable suture material to gently lift up sagging cheeks, brows and jowls. Surgeons and their patients are also eagerly awaiting the FDA to approve a new fat-melting injection to help reduce the appearance of double chins, as well as a new topical form of BOTOX®.

J

Fifty Candles

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ifty years ago this month, jockey Bill Shoemaker won the 91st Kentucky Derby riding Lucky Debonair; the “Today Show” became the first television program to incorporate satellite technology; the Rolling Stones recorded “Satisfaction;” the U.S. Supreme Court declared the federal law allowing the U.S. Post Office to intercept communist propaganda as unconstitutional; and Cassius Clay (soon-to-be Muhammad Ali) knocked-out Sonny Liston in the first round to win the World Boxing Council’s Heavyweight Championship. Notables born in May 1965 who are celebrating their 50th birthday this month include screenwriter and director Stephen Gaghan, model Linda Evangelista, journalist Jay Carney, actors Ben Reed, Todd Bridges and John C. Reilly and actresses Melissa McBride, Brooke Shields and Tracy Tweed.

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A Little More You Need To Know

The Most Important Thing To Know This Month

Where You Need To Go The International Chardonnay Symposium

S

tarting on May 27 and running through May 30, Pismo Beach and Avila Beach will host the Seventh Annual International Chardonnay Symposium, bringing together top Chardonnay producers from around the globe. Participants will experience a deeper appreciation of one of the world’s noble grapes during this in-depth, three-day immersion. This event features a series of vineyard-to-glass seminars including grand tastings, educational panels, winemaker luncheons and dinners, winery and vineyard tours and winery tastings. The Chardonnay Symposium’s primary purpose is to educate and inform top industry professionals, as well as devoted consumers, about current events and trends in Chardonnay production and culture worldwide. Among the panel discussions planned are Artisanal Sausages and Chardonnay, To Oak or Not to Oak, Global Cheeses and Chardonnay, The Fashion of Chardonnay and Minerality and Edginess: Is this the Modern Chardonnay? After the discussions end, there will be time for exploring nearby Central Coast wineries as well as the hosting seaside resort town that offers downtown wine-tasting rooms, farm-to-table and seaport-inspired cuisine as well as boutique shopping.

Go Green For Mental Health Month

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ach year millions of Americans face the reality of living with a mental health condition and in 2013, President Obama proclaimed May as National Mental Health Awareness Month to bring the issue of mental health to the forefront of our nation’s thoughts. Throughout this month the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) encourages everyone to bring awareness to mental illness which affects one-in-four American adults. You can join NAMI’s campaign to shine a light on mental illness online or in your community as they coordinate with people and organizations across the country to get everyone to “go green.”

Here are some of the ways you can show your support! •

Make your Facebook and Twitter profile picture green.

For more information and a complete listing of events, click on www.thechardonnaysymposium.com.

New Words

Utilize business and governmental connections you may have in your community to place green ribbons on trees, light posts, columns and in other public spaces and to get buildings illuminated in green throughout your town or city.

ou might not find them in a dictionary yet, but they’re a part of the everyday American vocabulary. Here’s what they mean.

Host an event or get together with friends, family and neighbors utilizing NAMI’s Activities and Resource tab on their website at www.nami.org.

Wear green. Be creative; don’t just limit this to your everyday wardrobe. Wear green shoelaces, a green suit, dye your hair green or paint your fingernails. Encourage your workplace and friends to pick a day during the month to wear green to spread the word about Mental Health Month.

Dedicate yourself to learning about new research, advances in treatments and coping strategies for living with mental illness, and then share what you find out with family and friends.

Y

Frenemy: Someone who pretends to be a friend but is actually an enemy; a friend who is also a rival. Bae: A term of endearment that technically stands for “before anyone else,” but has been adapted to be synonymous with “baby” or “sweetie.” Upstander: A person who actively stands up for a cause or belief.

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 7


It’s The Law Mitchell A. Karasov

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Our mother has always been there for everyone in the family, especially our father, who has Alzheimer’s. I know our mom has spent much of their savings having caregivers take care of him at home, and now she is paying for him to be cared for in a nursing home due to his declining health. I’ve tried to convince her to apply for some government benefits, but she says my father would never have approved of that. In the last few months, our mother has needed some help because she herself has had some health setbacks. Unfortunately, she refuses to pay for caregivers for herself because she says she needs the money for our dad. She only has their Social Security and limited savings to pay for the nursing home and her caregiving costs, so it doesn’t seem like this can go on for very long. She has said she’ll go through all their money, and when it is gone, my father will go on government assistance. I’m concerned, because she’s only in her 70s and it seems like her only option might be to go into a nursing home prematurely if she runs out of money. I am really worried about her and feel like I have to get her some help to make her life better and improve the financial situation. I know she needs to apply for some assistance to pay for my dad’s care, but is there anything she can apply for to help pay for her care at home?

A

Your mom needs to get help, care at home and a plan in place to help stretch her savings for the future care of both your father and her. Some proper government benefit planning by a qualified elder law attorney should go a long way toward improving your mom’s situation. The first part of the plan would be to determine how to get your dad eligible for Long Term Care MediCal to help cover his nursing home costs. With average nursing home monthly costs exceeding $7,000 in California, this would be a big savings right off the bat. Although your father might never have wanted to accept government benefits, like many of his generation, he could not have planned for the high cost of dementia care. Furthermore, most people from his generation believed that Medicare would cover all of their healthcare costs, which it doesn’t. As such, the government designed this part of the program to help people who are impacted by these extraordinary care costs beyond what Medicare covers. Once your father is eligible for this program, your mother will be in a better position to pay for her care at home. In addition to covering your father’s nursing home costs, your mom may also be a candidate for an in-home/adult day care center benefit that could cover some of her caregiving costs. The goal behind these MediCal programs is to keep people in their homes, healthy, and delay or avoid any need for nursing home care. Also, if either of your parents were in the military, the Veterans Administration may also help to subsidize or supplement your mom’s caregiving costs.


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hat you are about to read may be the most important information you’ve ever read. Here is why.

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Used By Doctors To Heal Their Patients In The Fastest Way Possible! Could you guess what kind of doctors use the highest percent of low-level lasers on their patients? It’s doctors involved in sports medicine. Why? The answer is simple. You see, doctors involved in sports medicine often have to get their patients better in the fastest way humanly possible because every day he remains “unhealthy” can cost the sports organization millions of dollars. But here’s something exciting! You don’t actually need to go to a doctor to get laser therapy. If you want to you can buy one of these devices and use it on yourself. The

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May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 9


MARIEL

HEMINGWAY Musing on “Manhattan,” motherhood, mental illness and more

Story by David Laurell * Photos by Keith Munyan / www.keithmunyan.com 10 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015


B

efore she was out of her teens, Americans had already been introduced to Mariel Hemingway through her roles in the 1976 revenge drama “Lipstick” and Woody Allen’s 1979 romantic dramedy “Manhattan.” In both films, Hemingway’s ingénue characters deal with adult situations and circumstances that ranged from being disturbingly and violently shocking to a revamping of Vladimir Nabokov’s controversial “Lolita.”

Emerging in the spotlight of popular culture as a Golden Globe- and Academy Award-nominated actress – the seemingly precocious and sophisticated granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway and sister of supermodel and actress Margaux Hemingway – Mariel began to be perceived as a juvenile jetsetter, as apt to show up surrounded by the paparazzi on the French Riviera as she was an underage patron of New York’s legendary Studio 54 nightclub. At least, that was the perception. In reality, she was a naïve young girl living in Ketchum, Idaho under the cloud of “The Hemingway Curse;” struggling to exist in the fragile and dysfunctional world of a family that suffered the travails of emotional instability, mental illness, alcoholism, suicide, drug addiction and cancer. Living a dual existence, with one foot planted in the Idahoan world of madness that had her feeling like an invisible girl desperately trying to cope, while the other stood in the bright lights of New York and Hollywood film sets, Hemingway didn’t just survive, she blossomed and triumphed. Along with her acting career, she has carved out a life as the mother of two beautiful daughters, has become a prolific author, an adventurist, eco-activist, healthy lifestyle and mental health advocate and sought-after speaker focused on mindbody-spirit optimization and purposeful living. Turning the difficulties of her own early life into positive solutions to establish a sense of balance, peace, joy, fitness, integration, and authenticity, she has become both a devoted teacher and a continuing student in the understanding of a holistic approach to life. Today, working with her partner, stuntman Bobby Williams, she has become a tireless advocate, lecturer and writer promoting good nutrition, meditation, the beauty of simple living and a connectedness to self and Earth. She also preaches that coping mechanisms, help and healing is available for dealing with mental health issues and substance abuse. Along with her best-selling memoir, “Finding My Balance” (Simon & Schuster, 2004), an honest and inspiring story of her life’s journey, Hemingway has written “Mariel Hemingway’s Healthy Living From the Inside Out” (Harper Collins, 2007), a how-to guide to finding a greater sense of balance, joy and meaning through self-empowering techniques and strategies, and a healthy lifestyle cookbook, “Mariel’s Kitchen” (HarperCollins, 2009). She also worked with Oprah Winfrey who produced a 2013 documentary about Mariel and the Hemingway family entitled, “Running From Crazy,” which dwells on Mariel’s boundless advocacy for mental health awareness. In her deeply moving and searingly honest new memoir, “Out Came the Sun: Overcoming the Legacy of Mental Illness, Addiction, and Suicide in My Family” (Regan Arts, 2015), Hemingway shares, in candid detail, the story of

her troubled childhood. Born just a few months after her legendary grandfather shot himself, it was Mariel’s mission to escape the desperate cycles of severe mental health issues that had plagued generations of her family. Surrounded by a family tortured by her parents’ alcoholism, her sister Margaux’s depression and substance abuse, the suicide of her grandfather and four other family members, the severe mental health issues including schizophrenia that gripped her sister Muffet, and her mother’s battle with cancer, it was all the young Mariel could do to keep her sanity. In a compassionate and non-judgmental voice, Hemingway reveals her painful struggle to stay sane, and how she coped with the chaos by becoming obsessive about her food, schedule, and organization. While the twisted legacy of her family will always be a part of Mariel Hemingway’s life, this book tells a story of triumph in overcoming her family’s tragedies, troubles and demons and developing love and deep compassion for them, as well as herself. The book also has a companion tome, “Invisible Girl” (Regan Arts, 2015), which tells the same story in a way that is appropriate and specifically geared towards children and younger teenagers. May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 11


Life After 50 recently spent a day with Hemingway. Effervescent, funny, down-to-Earth and without a pretentious bone in her body, she harmoniously blends the wisdom of a woman and a mother who will celebrate her 54th birthday this November with a loving and optimistic girlish charm that makes it difficult to imagine the turbulent times she once faced and survived. life After 50 (lA50): it seems like, on any given week, you are all over the country doing speaking engagements. Does all the travel you do give you a greater appreciation for your time at home? Mariel Hemingway (MH): I am on the road a lot, doing speaking engagements for various mental health foundations and organizations. I love doing that, but I also love my home – being with Bobby and all the animals. lA50: What is a typical day for you when you are at home? MH: I’m an early riser and I always start my day with a cup of green tea. I then mediate for 20 minutes and feed our chickens and cats and dogs. After everyone is fed, I’ll go to a yoga class or do yoga in the backyard or go for a hike. I love routine and really try to do the same things, even if I’m on the road, to the extent I can. Keeping to a routine works for me. My meditation practice has been a huge grounding for me. I don’t usually eat until later in the day. We’re into organic seasonal food and Bobby and I both like to cook. My afternoons are typically when I write. I’ll spend a few hours working and taking care of any business at hand. As for our evenings, we’re big movie watchers and readers and are usually off to bed early. We are very normal and basic and boring – which I love. My favorite thing is to just be home with Bobby and the animals and not have anything to do. lA50: You mentioned that amongst your menagerie are cats. We would expect nothing less of a Hemingway, and would also assume they are polydactyl. MH: [laughing] They are not! I really need to get one. I almost stole one from the house [the Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum] the last time I was in Key West. They were all around and I thought: “I should nab one of these.” I love having the animals around me. My ideal life would be to live on a small farm, and, in a way, we’ve kind of done that with all the animals and a wonderful garden. lA50: let’s talk about another ideal. it is the dream of so many wellknown, established actors to be tapped to appear in a Woody Allen film. And, for you, that offer came after doing just one film, when you were only 16 – and then you got an oscar nomination to boot! MH: I know. I know. “Manhattan” is such a great movie and doing it had a profound impact on me. Doing that film really changed my life. Woody is a complex and profound human being. He made me feel like a person who was seen and listened to in a way I had never experienced before in my life. It wasn’t that my parents were not good people, but when I was young, they were very

12 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

caught up in their problems and everything that was going on in their lives, my mother’s illness and the problems with my sisters. When I was at home in Idaho, I felt like an invisible girl, which is why I chose that as the title of one of me new books. But when I was doing “Manhattan,” it was the extreme opposite. I was spending time in New York City, which was so alive and vibrant, and I was working with exceptional actors and creative people. Doing that film had a huge and lasting effect on me. lA50: Do you have any particular memory or memories that comes to mind when you think back on doing “Manhattan?” MH: Well, “Lipstick” was my first movie experience, but “Manhattan” was my first huge, major role experience. To be, literally, in Manhattan, filming on the streets of New York City, having lunch in these wonderful cafes, and hanging out with these incredible, intelligent, talented, fun and interesting people – it was a totally profound experience. There has never been another experience that has been anything like that for me. And today, having now worked on so many other productions since “Manhattan,” I have become extremely aware of just how special that was. LA50: Did you see Woody’s film “Midnight in Paris?” MH: I did and thought it was hilarious – one of his best. lA50: What did you think of Woody’s creation of your grandfather and Corey Stoll’s portrayal? MH: I thought they both did a wonderful job. It was funny and over-the-top, which was the right way to do it. lA50: isn’t it a bit bizarre – perhaps in a full-circle type thing in the oddest way – that you appeared in a film with Woody, and then years later, he did a film in which he had to cast an actor to play your real-life grandfather. MH: I thought it was great. I mean, come on, it was a comedy. It wasn’t meant to be some serious portrayal of Ernest Hemingway. I especially loved that Woody incorporated lines from “A Moveable Feast” [Ernest Hemingway’s memoir that was published in 1964, three years after his death] into the character’s dialogue. I appreciated that Woody didn’t make the character precious, but rather had fun with the way he presented him. I just thought it was wonderful. LA50: In the film, a current day writer falls into a time warp and gets the unique experience to meet ernest Hemingway and other greats of the literary and art world – f. Scott fitzgerald and Gertrude Stein and Toulouse-lautrec and Gauguin and Degas and Dali. if we could wave a magic wand right now and you could have the opportunity to spend a few moments with your grandfather, what would be the one thing you would ask him? MH: Oh my gosh! I think, for me, knowing so much about him and my family’s history with mental illness, I would be curious as to if there was ever a time


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in his life when he felt real joy – if he ever had a period of time that he experienced true peace. I would like to know if he really loved life. I know, because he suffered with so many demons in the latter part of his life, that is all that has been written about him, and it is all most people know about him. But I think he was a real lover of life. What I don’t know, and would love to ask him, is if there were moments that he felt good about himself and his work. I think that was his struggle. I think he loved life but lived it with a lot of self-inflicted judgment. So that’s what I would be curious about – to know if I’m right about that. Oh and one other thing: I would also love to know if he had the chance to do it all over again, if he would do it any differently – live life differently. I have wondered about that a lot and my instinct has been that he would. I think, given another chance, he may have lived without the feeling – maybe the obsession – that he always had to be living on the edge. lA50: Did you ever talk to you father about that? MH: My dad and I did talk about my grandfather, but honestly, not a lot. That was because my father just didn’t talk about him much. I did ask him once if Papa were still alive, if he thought he would have lived differently. He told me he thought he may have chosen to be more quiet and trusting. But who knows. lA50: After reading your two new books, one cannot help but come away with a heightened respect for what you went through as a child in trying to care for your family and keep your sanity in the midst of madness. Perhaps, because we are celebrating Mother’s Day this month, it was especially touching to read the story you tell of how your mother – shortly before she passed away – gave you an incredible gift, telling you that she thought you were an incredible mother. MH: Yes. Yes. That was huge coming from my mother. As I write in the books, my mother was not long on expressing her feelings or thoughts. She was not very in-tune to her children, because she was so involved in her own pain. So for her to have said that to me, literally the day before she died, was huge. I remember she had been looking at me playing with my oldest daughter, Dree. She was just watching us and said: “I want you to know I think you are a really good mom.” That meant the world to me. My mother suffered so much and she meant the world to me. I loved her so much. And so having that come from a woman you idolize – a woman who didn’t give out accolades easily – that was a wonderful gift. lA50: Your mother thought you were a good mother. What about you? How would you rate yourself as a mom? MH: My girls are extraordinary. One is an artist and a model, the other is an actress and a model. They are both extremely confident and independent and well-spoken women. So, I guess I can only say I must have done something right. I don’t give myself compliments very easily. But what I do know is, that because my mother was not demonstrative about ever telling me I was pretty or smart, or that she loved me – even though I knew she did – I have always felt it was really important for my kids to hear how extraordinary I thought they were and how much I love them. I don’t know, maybe I overcompensated and did it too much. But I think it worked out well, because they both have a strong selfconfidence, which was always something I struggled with when I was a kid. So I love seeing that quality in them. lA50: Your daughters are adults now. Dree is 27 and langley is 25. What is the relationship like between you three today? MH: We’re very close. Dree is becoming quite well known through her work and now does interviews herself. I always love that she says I am her best friend. That is so sweet and always makes me very emotional. My relationship with both of them is very unique and specific. My youngest, Langley, had an art show recently. I was so proud of her. I was so honored to see this beautiful art my daughter created and to be able to look up to her. I look up to both of them and admire them and I am their best friend. That wasn’t always the case, because when they were young, I was adamant that I was going to be a real mom. I wasn’t into the “I’m-your-buddy-I’m-your-pal” type of parenting. That

14 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

would not have worked for me. But as they became women, they did become my best friends, which I think is insanely cool. I feel I did a good job of being a guide to them until it was time to shove them off and allow them to begin their lives. I think that is what good parenting is about. lA50: Any other parental advice? MH: We all know there’s no course to teach you how to parent. I think that listening is very important. My grandfather wrote about the importance of listening. I think that learning to listen is one of the most powerful tools we have in dealing with others, and with life. I wasn’t always a good listener. I didn’t always listen to my children. But I have learned to be better, and I’m still learning. I think you also have to let go of the judgment of yourself as a parent and what you think you are supposed to tell a child in any specific circumstance and really allow yourself to hear what they have to say to properly deal with a specific situation. I believe if a child feels heard, they will open up and express more, because they know they are being heard and that you really do care about what is going on with them. When I was a child, I didn’t feel heard, and that’s when the lines of communication become muddled and break down. lA50: Dree and langley are now both quite a bit older than you were when you played Tracy in “Manhattan.” is that hard for you to get your head around? MH: It is. You know, I was really such a naïve kid when I did “Manhattan.” I played this kind of sophisticated and precocious character, but I was SO not


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that. I was only 16. I had never even had a boyfriend. I didn’t know anything about boys or relationships or life. I think when my girls watch the film, they perceive how not knowing of anything I was.

the light that comes after the darkness. My story is a story of hope – that we all have the power to overcome things and have joy in our lives as long as we are open about our problems and courageous enough to deal with them and seek help.

lA50: let’s talk about that naïve kid you were. Doing “invisible Girl” as a companion book to “out Came the Sun” was an ingenious idea. it is so targeted to naïve kids out there today who are dealing with dysfunction within their family. MH: Thank you! I think that book works because there is a part of me that is locked in a 14-year-old girl’s mind. I think that for children and early teens, it is such a difficult time, even if things are all good within a family. You have no experience in handling things, so I felt it was important for me to express what my feelings were and the questions and concerns I had at that time that I felt no one was listening to me. lA50: in both of your new books, but more so in “out Came the Sun,” you are so brutally honest and candid about what you and your family have gone through. There had to have been times it was difficult for you to relive those things, and to write about them so openly. MH: Here’s the thing about me: there is no difficulty with me when it comes to being candid and open, because I live my life that way. What difficulty there is comes after I have written something and it has been published or said something in an interview, and realize that I have been so candid. Then it’s like, “holy crap! What have I done?” [laughs.] But the truth is, why not be candid? All of us share some sort of story of living through difficulties and struggles and I feel that when we openly talk about it, we take away its power to be scary and have a detrimental effect on us.

lA50: for those who may always think of you as Tracy in “Manhattan” or for your portrayal of Dorothy Stratten in “Star 80,” it is, perhaps, difficult for them to realize you are old enough to appear on our cover. What are your thoughts about getting older? MH: I feel better today, physically, than I did when I was younger. What I do love about getting older is that it brings a wisdom and a sense of surrender to the things you are not able to control. When you are in your 20s, you worry about impressing people and wondering what they think of you. By the time you are in your late 30s and 40s, you don’t give that as much thought, and life after 50 – well I don’t fucking care what anyone thinks about me anymore [laughing]. Because of that, I just go about enjoying my life. I think we have the ability to be the best we can be at any age – mentally and physically and emotionally and spiritually. I don’t think that’s holding on to some false sense of not getting older. I just think when you adopt the right kind of way to live that suites you and puts you into harmony with yourself, you can do extraordinary things.

lA50: That really is true, isn’t it? it seems that everyone has been touched by at least one of the things you experienced – mental illness or alcoholism or substance abuse or suicide or cancer. if not in their own family, then with someone they know.

lA50: for this one last question, let’s go to the last scene of “Manhattan,” when Woody’s character begs Tracy not to go to london because he feels it will change her and she reassures him that “not everybody gets corrupted.” In the final line of the film, your character says: “You have to have a little faith in people.” Mariel, in today’s world, with all of our problems and concerns and uncertainties, do you think we can we still have a little faith in people?

MH: That’s the truth of it, and it is why I was compelled to write these books. I wanted these books to stress the fact that we are all touched with these things. These books are my story, but it’s a universal story, and I wanted to tell my story as honestly as possible so people would realize they are not isolated with their story. I think “Out Came the Sun” is a brilliant title for my story. My publisher, Judith Regan, came up with it and I think it works so well because the sun is a metaphor, on so many levels, of joy and light – light at the end of the tunnel –

MH: Oh my God yes! Absolutely. I think a big part of our problem is that too many people have become jaded and we don’t trust other people – we don’t trust the process of life. Sometimes I think maybe I’m too trusting, but I think we should value and embrace one another as human beings, with all of our individual quirks and problems. I don’t think we value humankind enough today. So that would make a huge difference in our world – if we could all value one another more and, yes, have a little faith in each other.

“Out Came the Sun: Overcoming the Legacy of Mental Illness, Addiction, and Suicide in My Family” along with the companion book for young people, “Invisible Girl,” tell Mariel Hemingway’s moving and compelling story of growing up and escaping the tragic legacy of mental illness, suicide, addiction, and depression in one of America’s most famous families.

For more information about Mariel Hemingway, her books, and her personal appearance schedule, click on www.marielhemingway.com.

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Life After 50 Looks At Women’s Health

Special to Life After 50 by Dr. Jonathan Shaywitz

ThE GOOD NEWS AbOuT DEPRESSION –

it’s Treatable!

O

Mental health is a condition, not a conclusion

ver 50 or more years of living, you learn a lot. But you don’t need a few gray hairs to figure out that mental health can change as we get older. The normal process of aging can certainly affect our mood or general disposition, but it doesn’t have to take a toll on our mental health. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 20-percent of people age 55 years or older experience some type of mental health concern. Both older age and gender are risk factors for depression, and women, in general, are about twice as likely as men to become seriously depressed during their lifetime, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Depression in older women is such a common condition that many people think it is a natural response to the normal aging process. That assumption is exactly what is hurting our ability to prevent and treat mental health issues. What’s important to understand, right from the start, is that most cases (about 80-percent) of depression are treatable. The first step to treating an illness is to understand what it is and why it’s happening. Depression is a complex mental health issue. It can involve so many factors – which is important to remember if someone relates the majority of their sadness to something particular that is going on in their life. Many people fixate their depression on something they can’t change – like the death of a 18 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

loved one or arthritic pain. Meanwhile, depression can still allow us to generate much broader negative feelings: Some may ask themselves whether they lived a fulfilled life or made irreparable mistakes. Depression can certainly be triggered by physical and social scenarios; by the stress of something specific in one’s life, like the loss of a spouse, or less time spent with children as they go to college or move across the country for work. But it can also be linked to biological, pharmacokinetic and genetic issues that can and should also be addressed with nuanced treatment. On a biological level, depression can be a function of brain chemistry. We don’t know exactly how depression works in the brain, but science is making progress. We also know that progressive neurological diseases, such as Huntington’s disease and Parkinson’s disease, both of which are likely to intensify with age, may cause depression later in life. Alcoholism, drug use and physical changes to the ways the body supports blood flow can also trigger depression. No drug can be prescribed to singlehandedly address any one of these changes. Each trigger has different causes, symptoms and methods of treatment.

WOMEN AND DEPRESSION

In general, women are twice as likely to experience clinical depression as men. Women are also more

likely to suffer from coexisting anxiety disorders, which can lead to negative habits such as binge drinking and drug abuse. We do not have a clear medical explanation for why older women are especially at risk, but we do know there is still good news for women. Many studies show that females are more likely to be communicative about their emotional state and report their symptoms to a doctor. Some of these symptoms include overwhelming sadness or fatigue. You may suddenly find yourself wanting to be left alone more than usual, or uninterested in the hobbies that used to excite you. These and many other symptoms cannot be dismissed as part of the normal aging process. Recognizing and addressing symptoms can be the first step toward successful treatment, but only if symptoms are properly diagnosed. While seeking any kind of professional medical help is better than none at all, it’s important to visit an expert who is trained specifically to understand one’s mental health and work with each individual on an ongoing basis. Primary care doctors are typically trained to only address physical health issues. Mental health is, by definition, an entirely separate subsection of healthcare. As the director of the behavioral health program at St. Joseph Health Mission Hospital, I know we have all kinds of experts – from psychiatrists to psychologists and therapists – who may all work with a single patient in the same visit. The brain is a very complex place,


and many modalities of treatment are often required to solve the issues that exist there. Recently, a woman came to see us about her disabling anxiety, which manifested as daily panic attacks. These panic attacks became so disabling that she was unable to perform simple activities of her daily life, such as eating. Through a comprehensive approach to treatment that involved a team of experts, proper medication and cognitive behavioral therapy from trained therapists and psychologists, as well as complementary alternative medicine (such as yoga and acupressure), the patient’s anxiety began to lessen gradually and it become more manageable. Even a mental health issue that manifests itself in a very specific way is usually tied to many more complex issues, and should usually be treated with many modalities of care.

One common incorrect diagnosis of depression blames changing hormone levels. Fluctuation in hormone levels can indeed be directly linked to depression, which becomes particularly common during menopause. However, hormones are too often dismissed as the root cause for depression, meaning that treatment is ineffective in many cases. Another frequent barrier to proper depression treatment is avoidance of the issue. Social factors can, of course, play a role in the onset of depression. Loved ones and caretakers often confuse depression for sadness, which people find difficult to confront and hard to discuss. When we treat a mental health issue as a mood or some other emotional state that does not require specific treatment to get better, we allow it to persist.

SEEK SPECIFIC TREATMENT

Treatment for depression includes a range of medicinal and psychiatric options. Today, electroconvulsive therapy and other new forms of brain stimulation can help resolve the chemical imbalance in the brain that can cause depression on a biological level. However, because depression is so often entangled in other mental health issues (such as anxiety), habitual effects (such as substance abuse) and environmental factors (such as changing relationships), there really is no quick fix for depression. Like any mental health problem,

Because so many patients visit primary care doctors – perhaps because they seem more accessible or are more often referred to by other general practice experts – there is a movement within the healthcare industry to team mental health experts up with primary care physicians in the healthcare setting. This could better help address mental health issues before they get worse.

hOW TO hEAL

depression requires a range of treatment options, many of which do not require access to fancy drugs or therapies. The great majority of cured depression cases call for support from family, friends and others. I recommend attending support groups or spending time with loved ones to all of my patients, because many studies show that adequate social and emotional support is associated with reduced risk of mental illness, physical illness, and mortality. Psychotherapy, where a professional teaches people how to better understand and cope with their illness independently, has also proven to be very successful. Simple activities, such as meditation, participation in support groups, deep breathing exercises, and other physical activity such as walking or yoga, can go a long way in helping cope with depression. Doing something as simple as taking the time to sit down with family members for Sunday night dinner can be an extremely important part of treatment.

LOOKING FORWARD

The most important thing for someone suffering with depression to understand is they are not alone. People 65-years-old and older represent the fastestgrowing segment of the U.S. population, according to the American Psychological Association. The APA also estimates that in just 15 years, older adults will account for 20-percent of the U.S. population, up about seven-percent from 2008. Within this age group, about one-fifth or more people meet the criteria for a mental disorder. For women, this is often depression. The world of healthcare is rapidly starting to address this issue – from Japan’s Babyloid Robot – meant to provide a loving companion to the elderly – to deep brain stimulation techniques, this issue is being inventively addressed all over the world. Yet one of the critical aspects of a well-rounded approach to mental health treatment is timeless: spend time with friends, family and other people who are important to you. Being open and communicative about your feelings and experiences builds a door that can let others in, and help you to heal. Dr. Jonathan E. Shaywitz M.D., is the medical director of the behavioral health program at Mission Hospital Laguna Beach in Laguna Beach, California

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Bladder Issues? Help Is Available More than 40-percent of women between the ages of 60 and 79, and at least half the women age 80 and older, experience some kind of pelvic floor condition

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he pelvic floor is a combination of muscles, ligaments and connective tissues that support pelvic organs. The pelvic floor can be weakened by a combination of factors, such as the effects of menopause and aging, and other chronic medical and neurologic conditions. Pelvic floor conditions significantly compromise the quality of women’s lives, which may result in depression, social isolation and avoidance of physical and sexual activity due to discomfort and embarrassment. Any woman challenged with a pelvic health condition knows that these issues can easily affect her quality of life. What many women may not know, is that, often times, these issues are treatable. New therapies, medications and procedures offer hope to women coping with their pelvic health issues.

Pelvic floor conditions include urinary/fecal incontinence, pelvic organ prolapse (weakening of the pelvic muscles), pelvic pain and overactive bladder. Common symptoms include feeling the need to have several bowel movements in a short time period, feeling you can’t complete bowel movements, constipation, straining, frequent need to urinate (overactive bladder), painful urination and pain in the pelvic region. There are several conditions that may contribute to these symptoms, including neurological disorders, high urine production, medications, acute urinary tract infections, bladder abnormalities, incomplete bladder emptying and excessive consumption of alcohol or caffeine. Even though pelvic floor conditions are categorized as a common sign of aging, they are not. If your symptoms control

your life, it is time to talk to your doctor about your treatment options. The Center for Women’s Pelvic Health at Long Beach Memorial offers comprehensive treatment options for women with pelvic conditions, including medication therapies, rehabilitation and surgical options. For more information call 800-MEMORIAL. May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 21


Life After 50 Looks At Women’s Health

Happy And Healthy At 50 And Beyond:

A Checklist for Women Special to Life After 50 by Dr. Kenneth Smith

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or many women, their 50s and 60s come with their share of highs and lows. It is a time of great milestones, of course, but also one of uncertainty as this new chapter of life brings with it many changes. Life after 50 usually means grandkids are in the picture and that retirement plans are starting to firm up and take shape. It is also a time when people may explore a new hobby, volunteering, or even an encore career. However, it is also a time of life in which significant changes can take place in one’s physical and mental health. Many women in the U.S. can now expect to live until their late 80s or early 90s, but the age of menopause has not changed. As a result, many women are living a third of their lives in the postmenopausal state, which can have a substantial impact on their health and lifestyle. Pre- and post-menopausal symptoms come with an acceleration of aging changes, urogenital and sexual changes, along with impacts on mental health. In fact, studies indicate an estimated 20-percent of women have depression at some point during menopause. That is caused by a rise

22 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

in estrogen levels at the same time that increased serotonin levels are taking place – the primary brain chemical that regulates mood. The fluctuation in hormones during this time often causes hot flashes, night sweats, chills and insomnia, resulting in a significantly impaired quality of life. To help alleviate some of these symptoms, many women try hormone replacement therapy (HRT) which has proven to provide relief of hot flashes, improvement in depression, and prevention of chronic disease such as osteoporosis, cardiovascular illness, and Alzheimer’s disease. Of course, with anything one may choose to put into their body, it is vitally important that it’s the right thing to do and that a consultation with one’s doctor has discussed the pros and cons. Whether it’s menopause that is causing one to feel blue or, perhaps, just the adjustment to a new lifestyle, there are many proactive methods one can take to ensure that happiness thrives. Studies have shown that happy people tend to live longer and experience better health than their unhappy peers. The health benefits of happiness are astounding and include stress relief, improvement of blood pressure

and heart problems, boosting the immune system and much more. Here is a checklist of useful ways to be and stay happy:

IMPLEMENT HAPPINESS IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Think about the last time you really laughed or genuinely enjoyed yourself. Maybe it was at a dance class with a friend or playing with your pet or grandkids. Take those moments and replicate them as much as you can. It is precious moments like those that, for many people, evoke happiness. If you don’t already have those moments, or they seldom occur, don’t be afraid to get out there and create them. Don’t isolate yourself, and try to stay open to socializing, making new friends and creating new experiences. For some, it’s not easy to venture out of their comfort zone. If that’s the case, there are often local resources for people over 50 to connect – whether it’s for general networking, taking classes or even dating.


FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF CANCER SCREENINGS Another critical element to being happy is selfconfidence. You can feel good about yourself and boost your self-esteem in a variety of ways through exercise, eating right, or pursuing a favorite hobby – or starting a new one. Find something that works for you and implement it into your routine. The better you feel about yourself, the happier you’ll be and will want to share it with others.

Colon screening should begin at 50. Mammograms should be annual and pap smears should continue every one to three years if you are sexually active.

CHECK YOUR BONES

Make sure you keep your bones healthy by having a bone density scan. You should also have you doctor check your calcium and vitamin D intake.

GET SOME SLEEP

Don’t expect to get by on less sleep then you used to. Your body requires just as much sleep as it Your 50s and beyond are a time for self-reflection. Take time to read, write in a journal or even meditate. ever has and rest is critical to your overall health, especially in your 60s and beyond. These quiet time rituals can provoke optimistic feelings about your life, family and friends. MAKE THOSE ANNUAL VISITS You need to have your blood pressure, cholesterol, TRAIN YOUR BRAIN glucose, and thyroid tested each year once you turn 50. Also, talk to your doctor about any symptoms The road to happiness may not be as easy for some as it is for others. You may have to train your brain to of depression, which can be common in women over 50. be happy. For example, for some, their first instinct may be to think negatively, while others immediately MOVE IT! see the glass as half-full. Seeing the world in a Aerobic exercise (such as walking) builds strong more positive light will naturally allow you to be bones. It also reduces heart disease risk. Remember, surrounded by more positive people and experiences heart disease is the number one killer of women. – which, in turn, will evoke happiness.

MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF

*

Women 50 and over must also pay close attention to their health which is a major part of maintaining happiness. To make sure you are being proactive with your healthcare, the following is a checklist of the “must dos”:

The important thing to remember is to embrace each new chapter of life by being your best self. Being proactive about your health and incorporating happiness into your daily life will have lifechanging effects on your life, your health and everyone around you.

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outhern California residents interested in learning how to get and stay happy can attend free classes hosted by Inter Valley Health Plan as part of their new program: Bee Happy – The Happiness Project. Classes are focused on learning ways to keep happy and healthy, and how to become more involved socially. As part of the Bee Happy program, Dr. Kenneth Smith will be hosting a free “Doc Talk” webinar entitled “Bee Happy: Talking about the Blues” on June 18 and June 25. He will discuss the many types of depression and the treatments that might help to bring more happiness into your life. A live Q&A session will follow the webinar. People interested in attending the webinar on June 18 can visit any of three Inter Valley Health Plan Medicare Information Centers located at 214 E. Stetson Avenue in Hemet, 12209 Hesperia Road, Suite E in Victorville and 927 S. Brookhurst Avenue in Anaheim. Those interested in the webinar on June 25 can visit any of three other MIC locations at 1601 Monte Vista Avenue, Suite 275 in Claremont, 300 S. Highland Springs Avenue, Suite 10-J in Banning and 2995 Van Buren Boulevard, Suite A13 in Riverside. For more information and a schedule of upcoming classes, click on www.forhealthandliving.com/ivhpevents

Dr. Kenneth Smith is the chief medical officer for inter Valley health plan, a not-forprofit medicare advantage health plan serving los angeles, the inland empire, and north orange county. inter Valley health plan is dedicated to keeping its members healthy and strong and delivering highly personalized service to the medicare-eligible community. For more information click on www.iVhp.com

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 23


Is There really such a ThIng as a

NoN-surgical FaceliFt? Facial plastic surgeons debunk myths surrounding non-surgical facelifts

A

Special to Life After 50 by Patty Mathews

lunchtime lift … a facelift in a bottle… a liquid lift … a non-invasive lift… you’ve seen them advertised with dozens of names for devices, creams, and procedures that claim to be alternatives to traditional facelifts. But how do these quick fixes really stack up against a surgical facelift? “A facelift is a surgical procedure, and by definition, there is no such thing as a non-surgical facelift,” says Dr. Stephen S. Park, who serves as the president of the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (AAFPRS). “There is a role for many of the techniques and procedures out there, but they should not be considered substitutes for a facelift.” According to the recent statistics from the AAFPRS, facelifts were the second most-common cosmetic surgical procedure last year, behind rhinoplasty. Facial aging involves skin changes such as wrinkles, brown spots and sun damage; dynamic lines from overactive muscles; loss of volume such as hollow cheeks and temples; the loss of elasticity and the pull of gravity that cause skin to sag. “Most of these so-called non-surgical facelift alternatives may target one or two of the signs of facial aging, whereas a facelift hits all or most of them,” says Dr. Park.

INJECTABLES

Whether soft-tissue fillers, fat or BOTOX®, injectables can help erase fine lines and wrinkles and

24 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

add volume to sunken areas of the face. The result? A younger, more refreshed appearance. “This is not a facelift, but can be very effective at reducing some of the signs of aging on the face,” says Dr. Edwin Williams, president-elect of AAFPRS. “There is also minimal downtime with injectables, so you can get back to your life right away, but these treatments will need to be repeated about every four to nine months to maintain the results.”

SKIN TIGHTENING

Devices that use radiofrequency (RF) energy can help increase the body’s natural collagen production. Collagen is the protein that gives your skin the structure and support associated with youth, but it dwindles with advancing age. “Radiofrequency devices stimulate collagen production to firm skin,” says Dr. Williams. “Ultrasound waves can also give your collagen supply a turbo boost.” They won’t duplicate the results of a facelift, but they can help improve skin quality, tone and texture for people who are not ready for surgery. “It’s a tradeoff because the results are not as dramatic as a facelift, but the downtime and cost associated are much less,” he says.

FAT REDUCTION

With advancing age, fat tends to redistribute throughout the face and neck. For example, you lose fat where you need it most, such as the cheeks, and gain fat in places where you may

not want it, such as the jowls and neck. Facial plastic surgeons offer several options to remove unwanted fat, including liposuction, fat destruction via radiofrequency, cryolipolysis and ultrasound. “Liposuction can get rid of double chin or a dreaded turkey neck and for some people, that may be enough to make a meaningful difference in their appearance,” says Dr. Park.

LASERS AND LIGHT

Today’s lasers and light-based energy systems can help treat the skin changes associated with aging and many can also help stimulate the production of collagen. “Laser skin resurfacing offers a host of benefits for the aging face and may buy you some time, but even lasers will not replace the visible results of a surgical facelift,” says Dr. Williams. The deeper ablative resurfacing lasers do require some downtime, whereas non-ablative treatments may be repeated at intervals to maintain the skinrejuvenating effects. The American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery is the world’s largest specialty association for facial plastic surgery. Their members are board certified surgeons whose focus is surgery of the face, head, and neck, and subscribe to a code of ethics. In addition, the AAFPRS provides consumers with free information, brochures and a list of qualified facial plastic surgeons that can be obtained by clicking on www.AAFPRS.org.


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Michael Learned The actress who gave us Olivia Walton, one of television’s quintessential moms, reflects on her own mother and the roles she has played as a mom – on-screen and off Story by David Laurell * Photos by Bill Dow

O

ver the past 60 years, television has given us a number of iconic characters that have served as our ideals for a family’s matriarch: Harriet Nelson, June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Shirley Partridge, Marion Cunningham, Claire Huxtable, and so many others, including one of the most endearing – Olivia Walton. Portrayed by actress Michael Learned during the nine-year run of the 1970s CBS hit series “The Waltons,” Olivia came into American homes four years longer than Carol Brady and six years longer than Shirley Partridge. “Olivia Walton was an ideal,” says Learned. “She was soft, feminine and loved her role in life as a mother and a wife. She was also a woman with grit who had a good sense of who she was. It was very interesting for me to play a role like that – of a woman who had that kind of self-confidence when I myself didn’t really know who I was. Olivia was a great role model for me.”

LIFE BEFORE OLIVIA The eldest of six daughters born to a U.S. State Department employee and his wife, Learned, who would go on to achieve a successful stage and television career, garner four Emmy Awards for her portrayal of Walton and Mary Benjamin in the early1980s CBS series “Nurse,” and a People’s Choice

26 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

Award, says her earliest memories are of an idyllic life on her family’s Connecticut farm. “It was a gentleman’s farm, as they call it in Connecticut,” says Learned. “There were orchards and grapevines and beautiful gardens that my father tended. And for my sisters and me, it was 21 acres of paradise. It was an incredibly beautiful place with goats and rabbits and pigs and horses. We kids would be out all over the place exploring all day.” If Learned’s early life sounds somewhat Waltonesque, that was her mother’s dream and plan. “My mother was a witty, bright and intelligent woman who was an only child,” says Learned. “She grew up in Europe and was raised by governesses. As a young girl, she had a dream – to have a big family – like the Waltons. So her dream came true. She had six girls, which, I think may have been somewhat overwhelming for her. But nonetheless, she did a damn good job of raising her children.” As for her father, also an only child, Learned recalls that the genteel farm life he gave them came to an abrupt end when he became a part of the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), a United States intelligence agency that had been formed during World War II. “Because of his work, we moved to Austria in 1950, to this tiny village,” Learned says. “I was just 11 at that time and I saw things I had never seen or even knew about living in a garden-filled farm

in Connecticut. I saw real poverty and the ravages of war and bombed-out buildings. When you are young, you are very alive on so many levels, and seeing those things made a deep impression on me.” While Learned’s father continued his work based out of Austria, she attended Arts Educational School (now Tring Park School for the Performing Arts) in Tring, Hertfordshire, England where she developed a love for theater and the desire to pursue a career as an actress.

THE BEGINNING OF CAREER AND FAMILY Returning to the U.S. when Learned was in her mid-teens, she met and married actor Peter Donat, the nephew of Academy Award-winning actor Robert Donat, when she was just 17-yearsold. Together, Learned and Donat performed at Shakespeare Festivals in Canada and the U.S. and with San Francisco’s American Conservatory Theatre (ACT) while raising a family of three sons. It was during her work with ACT, in a production of Noel Coward’s “Private Lives,” that she was spotted by television producer Lee Rich, who had been on the lookout for an actress to play the mother in a new show about a Depression-era family. Cast as Olivia Walton in 1971, Learned was considered by some to be too young for the role.


REAL-LIFE MOTHERING While the nation came to know Learned through her character – the ideal of the American wife and mother – in real life, she struggled through two more failed marriages and the difficulty of raising children while maintaining a demanding career. “I didn’t have a lot of self-esteem and was somewhat lost,” she recalls. “I had been married at 17 and then quickly fell into the 1950s good-wife role, so, throughout my early and mid-20s I only knew of being a mother and wife. When I was no longer a wife, I felt lost, with no identity. I also felt I had lost my identity as a mother, because my work on ‘The Waltons’ kept me away from my kids due to the long hours. When I did get home, they

going out with John, I told him he wasn’t my type because he had a job, a nice car, smelled good and thought I was terrific. None of that was my type,” she says with a laugh. “But he is a dear man with a great sense of humor and he has made my life after 50 the best years of my life. I met him when I was 49 and, by that time, I had been alone for a while. I had no husband, no kids at home, no pets, and thought I would enjoy this life of independence. But then this lovely man came into my life and everything changed for the better.” Balancing her work with being a wife, Learned says she still enjoys working, but also relishes her time at home. “I do laundry and go shopping and just live a normal kind of boring life,” says Learned. “John and I watch ‘Justified’ and ‘The Americans,’ which I really like because I identify with the kid and Richard [Thomas] is great in it. I’m also writing my memoirs. I’m not very disciplined, so at the rate I’m going, it probably won’t be done until I’m 90. I do a little bit here and there, when the mood strikes, so it is like a patchwork quilt.” She also says that she is at a point in her life when she looks back at her work in “The Waltons” with great pride and satisfaction. “I loved doing the show,” she says. “We shot at Warner Bros. and I always found it to be a humbling experience to be working on that lot that holds the souls of so many film legends. I feel the same thing when I work in an old legendary theater. There’s a mystical sense about working in places that hold great history. And today, I’m constantly humbled by what I hear from people who loved ‘The Waltons.’ Here was would all be waiting for me with their problems this show, without any car chases or high drama, that and I would be exhausted. I remember once, I just really resonated with people. I’ve had people tell me couldn’t handle it all and I went on strike, which it got them through bad times and taught then to be was the inspiration for an episode of ‘The Waltons’ a mother. That show was the thing that made me feel when Olivia went on strike. So even Olivia wasn’t there is, in fact, purpose in being an actor, because of perfect. Even excellent parents make mistakes and, the way it touched people. I’ll always be grateful for of course, there are no such things as perfect parents. having had the chance to be a part of ‘The Waltons’ Even if you get it completely right with one child, – of Earl’s Hamner’s legacy. It was a great show to every child is a unique individual, so what works work on and we were a very happy group.” for one won’t work with another. Still, I feel I did a good job raising my children and today they are FINALLY, A NAME SHE really good people whom I am very proud of. Sure I REALLY LOVES wish I had been more grounded when I was raising them, but we all muddle through and it’s never easy. Asked about her feelings on getting older, Learned I learned over the years that being a role model is says she finds it a bit confusing. “I wake up and important and I feel I was a good role model who forget that I’m old until I stand up and my feet hurt showed my kids what I believe to be the most and then it hits me that I’m 76,” she laughs. “But important things in life – love and humor and a zest inside, I don’t feel old at all.” for living.” She says she keeps in shape by attending a jazz dance class at least three times a week and is A LIFE OF BALANCED HAPPINESS an adherent to a Mediterranean diet, although she admits to periodic pleasures. “I do have my sugar Having just celebrated her 76th birthday in April, lapses, because I love chocolate,” she laughs. “But Learned lives in Beverly Hills with her fourth overall, I don’t think about getting older, because husband, attorney John Doherty, whom she married this really is the best time of life for me. Today, in 1991. it’s all about my husband and three dogs and five “John is my soul mate,” says Learned. “I really grandchildren, who range in age from 13 to 20, who wasn’t sure I would ever marry again, but he is just call me Granny Mikey.” wonderful. It took me awhile to get marriage right She pauses and smiles. “Granny Mikey,” but, like parenting, you make mistakes and hopefully she repeats with savor. ”Now that’s a name learn from them and move on. When I first started I really love!”

Photob By Hayley Sparks

In real life, she was only 11 years older than Richard Thomas, who played her oldest child, John-Boy, and more than 12 years younger than Patricia Neal, who originated the role of Olivia in the 1971 made-fortelevision film, “The Homecoming: A Christmas Story,” which was based on Earl Hamner, Jr’s novel “The Homecoming” (Buccaneer Books, 1970). Still, the producers considered her to be the right choice and billed her as “Miss Michael Learned” due to the fact she was relatively unknown and they were concerned there would be confusion over her masculine given name. In addressing the issue of her name, Learned repeats the response she has given for years, saying her parents never really explained why they named her “Michael.” “My father said had I been a boy they would have named me Caleb, which is my son’s name. But because I was a girl, they named me Michael. That was it. The only explanation I ever got.” As a child, she hated the masculine moniker, because no one believed it was her real name, and for a time, took to telling people her name was “Betty.” “I actually did have a nickname as a kid,” she reveals. “My father called me ‘Mack’ and I still have a friend who calls me that to this day.” With the popularity of “The Waltons,” Learned’s career was on an upward trajectory. The opposite, however, was true of her personal life and marriage, which ended in 1972. During that time, as a divorced woman with three young boys and the demands of a weekly show, she realized she had become far too dependent upon alcohol. “I was drinking too much, because I was depressed and unhappy,” she reveals. “My kids were teenagers and had begun to experiment with pot, which I was not happy about,” she continues. “I felt I could not be any sort of a role model to them if I sat there lecturing them with a drink in my hand. So I quit, and haven’t had a drink since.”

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 27


The Hallowed Hall of Must-Knowtables By David Laurell Illustration by Mark Hammermeister

Moms Mabley While her stage, screen and nightclub persona was that of a toothless, bedraggled, old woman in a house dress and floppy hat, Moms Mabley was a trailblazing vaudevillian, comedienne, actress and political activist whose career spanned over a half century.

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granddaughter of freed slaves, the woman who would become known as Jackie “Moms” Mabley, was born Loretta Mary Aiken on March 19, 1894 in Brevard, North Carolina. Loretta was one of 16 children born to a small businessman, James Aiken, and his wife, Mary, who supplemented the family’s income by taking in boarders. Along with running a grocery store, which was James’ primary venture, he was also a volunteer fireman who lost his life in a fire-related accident when Loretta was just 11-years-old. Following her father’s death, her mother took over the store for almost two years, remarried, and was killed after being hit by a truck while coming home from church on Christmas Day. By the time Loretta was 14, she had been raped twice resulting in the birth of two children who were given up for adoption. Following the birth of her second child, and being forced, by her stepfather, to marry an older man whom she despised, Loretta left North Carolina for Ohio where she joined a traveling vaudeville show that worked the “chiltin’ circuit,” performing in theaters that would employee black entertainers during segregation. It was during her time in vaudeville that Loretta met a fellow performer, Jack Mabley, whom she causally dated. Having been on the search for a stage name, Loretta decided to adopt the feminized version of his name – Jackie Mabley.The moniker of “Moms” would come later, hung on her by fellow performers as a term of endearment for her reputation for mentoring and mothering her colleagues.

A singer and dancer, Mabley found her true niche in comedy which she believed stemmed from her grandmother’s sense of humor. When she created the character of Moms Mabley, she took on the look of a dowdy old woman as a homage to her grandmother. By the mid-1920s, the then 27-year-old Mabley had reportedly come out as a lesbian, albeit only to friends and fellow performers. She had also established a persona and routine that, long before comediennes Phyllis Diller and Joan Rivers, saw her blaze the path as the lone female in the world of standup comedy. A part of the first wave of black comedians to be noticed beyond AfricanAmerican audiences, that also included Redd Foxx and Dick Gregory, Mabley was also one of the first standup comics to “work blue,” presenting raunchy, Xrated material that was, perhaps, more palatable for audience acceptance by her appearing to be much older than her actual years. With her lovable, old, rumpled, curmudgeon persona (one that, ironically, vastly differed from the stylishly-tailored look she maintained offstage) Mabley was able to get away with material that other comedians, let alone a women of the time, would have never been able to present. Heavily incorporating the controversial topics of racial bigotry and sex into her routines, she became especially well-known for her abhorrence of older men and her fondness for younger ones. “The only time you see Moms with my arms around some old man,” Mabley would deadpan, “was if I’m holding him for the police.”

This feature is intended for you to clip and give to your children or grandchildren because…they must-know! 28 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015


With her growing popularity as a headliner who performed at Harlem’s legendary Cotton Club, the late-1930s also saw her become the first comedienne to be featured at Harlem’s Apollo Theater and Connie’s Inn where she was reportedly earing a staggering $10,000 a week. That prominence was instrumental in her parlaying her standup work into a film and stage career. The 1940s saw Mabley appear in several films and continue to do standup where she was billed as “The Funniest Woman in the World.” The following decade then saw her turn to recording with Chess Records and the eventual release of over 20 comedy albums. Having garnered a solid African-American fan base, Mabley finally broke into the mainstream, gaining a following with white audiences in the 1960s. She performed at Carnegie Hall and The Playboy Club, and began appearing on the hugely popular variety television programs of the era. These performances, 40 years after her career began, finally made her a national star who would have a huge impact on many burgeoning comics including Bill Cosby, Joan Rivers and the then-very young Eddie Murphy and Whoopi Goldberg. While Mabley will forever be best-remembered for her hip and edgy comedy, she carved out one of her greatest career accomplishments with a completely serious cover version of songwriter Dick Holler’s “Abraham, Martin and John” that had been a 1968 hit for pop star Dion DiMucci. Mabley’s version of the song hit Number 35 on the Hot 100 in July of 1969 making the then75-year-old, the oldest living person to score a U.S. Top 40 hit. Mabley’s career wound down after she took on a starring role in the 1974 United Artists comedic film “Amazing Grace.” During the filming Mabley suffered a heart attack that would put production on hold for three weeks while she had emergency surgery and a pacemaker installed. When she finally did return to work, she was considerably weakened but determined to finish the film and continue to perform. In spite of her determined spirit the following months saw Mabley cancel a series of shows when she was admitted to White Plains Hospital and put on medication and a very strict diet, which she didn’t adhere to. On May 23, 1975, Mabley died from heart failure at the age of 81. Her comedic contemporary, Dick Gregory, delivered the eulogy at her funeral that was attended by a who’s who of showbiz notables. “Had she been white,” Gregory told those who had come to pay their respects, “she’d have been known 50 years ago.” Following the funeral, Mabley was buried at Ferncliff Cemetery in Hartsdale, New York.

LEARN MORE • Moms Mabley’s comedy recordings are available through eBay and Amazon. • “Whoopi Goldberg Presents Moms Mabley,” a documentary film which first aired on HBO in 2013, is available for purchase at www.hbo.com.

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Let’s Get OUt A Preview of Upcoming Events for May/June By Claire Yezbak Fadden

eNteRtAINMeNt FRIDAY, MAY 15 4,000 MILES Over the course of a single month, unlikely roommates infuriate, bewilder and ultimately reach each other in many ways. Kentwood Players, Westchester Playhouse, 8301 Hindry Ave., Westchester. Fri.-Sun. through June 20. $20-$25. (310) 645-5156. kentwoodplayers.org. ABIGAIL/1702 Whatever happened to Abigail Williams? It’s 1702, a decade after the infamous seductress danced with the devil in Salem. Imagining the destiny of the immortal stage villain, this next chapter finds Abigail living under an assumed name in a village far from Salem, trying to start afresh. But now her past is about to catch up with her. International City Theatre, Long Beach Performing Arts Center, 300 E. Ocean Blvd., Long Beach. Thurs.-Sun. through May 24. $34-$48. (562) 436-4610. internationalcitytheatre.org. THE POWER OF DUFF Charlie Duff’s nightly newscast makes him a voice to be heard, so why isn’t his teenage son listening? When an on-air prayer for his father goes viral, Duff finds himself at the center of a firestorm over God’s place in the newsroom. When his prayers turn prophetic, Duff suddenly has the power to reach everyone, except his own son. Gil Cates Theater at the Geffen Playhouse, 10886 Le Conte Ave. Los Angeles. Through May 17. (310) 208.5454. geffenplayhouse.com.

RECORDED IN HOLLYWOOD: THE MUSICAL The fascinating true story of a black businessman, record label owner and music producer. In 1948, a decade before Motown, John Dolphin opened Dolphin’s Of Hollywood Record Shop on legendary Central Avenue in South Los Angeles, the music mecca on the West Coast. This new musical features 13 original songs to match the musical era of the 1950s, as well as some hit cover songs. Lillian Theatre, 1076 Lillian Way. Los Angeles. Through May 17. $30. (323) 960-4443. plays411.com/Hollywood. BUG FAIR Learn about the world of arthropods and arachnids at the biggest bug festival in North America. Activities include live animal presentations, citizen science projects, crafts, live music and tastings from some of the greatest bug chefs in the world. There’s an opportunity to buy bugs and bug merchandise from more than 70 vendors and see outstanding collections. Natural History Museum, Los Angeles County, 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles. Also May 17. $9-$12. (213) 763-3466. nhm.org/bugfair. SUNDAY, MAY 17 I AND YOU On the night before a class assignment is due, Caroline and Anthony plumb the mysteries of a Walt Whitman poem…unaware that a deeper mystery has brought them together. The Fountain Theatre, 5060 Fountain Avenue, Los Angeles. Thurs.-Sun. through June 14. $15-$35. (323) 663-1525. fountaintheatre.com.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 20 GLENDALE NOON CONCERTS Calico Winds. Viola solo recital. First Baptist Church of Glendale, 209 N. Louise St., Glendale. Free. (818) 242-2113. glendalenoonconcerts.blogspot.com.

LA/Ventura

May/June 2015 County, Florida. Center Theatre Group, Kirk Douglas Theatre, 9820 Washington Blvd., Culver City. Tues.-Sun. through May 31. $25. (213) 628-2772. centertheatregroup.org. SATURDAY, MAY 23 FIESTA HERMOSA Enjoy this art fair and music showcase. Classic rock tribute bands performing hits by Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Jimi Hendrix, Phil Collins and Fleetwood Mac. Rock n’ roll, zydeco, country western and rhythm and blues bands perform as well. Pier and Hermosa Avenues, Downtown Hermosa Beach. Also May 24-25. fiestahermosa.net. SUNDAY, MAY 24

THURSDAY, MAY 21 THROW ME ON THE BURNPILE AND LIGHT ME UP Written and performed by Oscar-nominated screenwriter Lucy Alibar, the play blends a lecherous goat, Pentecostals on the radio, Daddy’s .38 special and a house full of dogs, cats and Febreze, and countless other rich ingredients into a delicious and magical stew of stories about a singular childhood in Grady

PAT TRAVERS AND ERIC GALES Since the critically acclaimed 1976 debut album featuring his own brand of high quality ‘70s guitar rock ‘n’ roll, Pat Travers has gone on to deliver melodic ‘80s rock, a blues period throughout most of the ‘90s, noted performances with various power trios during the first few years of the new Millennium. Blues-rock guitarist Eric Gales has recorded 10 albums on major record labels, along with a multitude of session and tribute work. Rock radio hits include “Sign of the Storm” and “Paralyzed.” The Canyon, 28912 Roadside Dr., Agoura Hills. $22-$35. (818) 879-5016. canyonclub.net.

THE HOUSE OF YES Thanksgiving, 1983. Mrs. Pascal, daughter, Jackie-O, and younger son, Anthony, await the arrival of Jackie’s twin brother for the holiday. But when Marty brings along his new fiancée, secrets unravel and the family’s elegant veneer begins to crack. Zephyr Theatre, 7456 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles. Fri.-Sun. through June 14. $25. (323) 960-5563. plays411.com/houseofyes.

SATURDAY, MAY 16 CALIFORNIA STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL This fruitful gala boasts strawberries in every way. The festival features concert performances, the Strawberry Promenade with celebrity cooking demonstrations, more than 250 craft booths and Strawberryland For Kids. The “build your own” strawberry shortcake tent lets you control your strawberry bliss as you pile on the goodness. Strawberry Meadows of College Park, 3250 S. Rose Ave., Oxnard. $8- $12. Also May 17. (888) 288-9242. strawberry-fest.org.

WESTERN MUSIC ASSOCIATION SHOWCASE Musicians and cowboy poets perform stories and songs of the romantic days of the Old West, contemporary music of the American West and songs of the open range and the American cowboy. The Autry National Center, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. $6-$10. (323) 667-2000. theautry.org. TUESDAY, MAY 19 CAMELLIA PRUNING WORKSHOP Experts demonstrate how to keep your camellias healthy and pruned. Bring gardening gloves. Descanso Gardens, Center Circle 1418 Descanso Dr., La Cañada Flintridge. Free. (818) 949-4200. descansogardens.org.

SATURDAY, MAY 16

ROSE FESTIVAL

Celebrate America’s favorite flower with activities including workshops highlighting the best way to care for plants, selecting new varieties to try at home or making a rose crown. See living floral art come to life in the form of a rose display, learn from experts demonstrating rose designs or stroll among the fragrant roses on a garden walk lead by rose horticulturist Hector Silva-Ruiz. On both days, you can watch “Fairy Tales in the Garden,” as Ensemble Shakespeare Theater performs the spirited and humorous tale of “The Autobiography of Big Bad Wolf.” Descanso Gardens, 1418 Descanso Dr., La Cañada Flintridge. $6-$9. (818) 949-4200. descansogardens.org.

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 33


CALeNDAR

TUESDAY, MAY 26 SATCHMO AT THE WALDORF It’s March 1971 at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel and Louis Armstrong has just played one of the final performances of his extraordinary career. Unwinding backstage, he recounts events that transformed him into the worldfamous “Satchmo.” With no-nonsense manager Joe Glaser at his side, Armstrong kept steady through an era of enormous social change…but at what cost? This is “Satchmo at the Waldorf,” an absorbing and uplifting new play about the music, struggles and triumphs of the man who invented jazz. Starring Obie-winner John Douglas Thompson as both Armstrong and Glaser in a tour de force performance. The Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts, 9390 N Santa Monica Blvd. Beverly Hills. Through June 7. $30-$50. thewallis.org. VENTURA BLUEGRASS JAMS Milano’s Italian Restaurant, Patio, Ventura Harbor Village, 1559 Spinnaker Dr., Ventura. (805) 658-0388. milanositalianrestaurant.com.

May/June 2015 LA/Ventura detective. One fateful night, shots ring out at the surprise birthday party of Great American Novelist Arthur Whitney and the writer is killed … fatally. With the nearest detective an hour away, Marcus jumps at the chance to prove his sleuthing skills — with the help of his silent partner, Lou. Everyone is a suspect in this hilarious musical murder mystery with a twist. One actor investigates the crime. The other plays all the suspects. And they both play the piano. Geffen Playhouse, 10886 Le Conte Ave., Los Angeles. Tues.-Sun. through July 7. $59-$74 (310) 208-5454. geffenplayhouse.com. FRIDAY, MAY 29 WATERFALL This epic love story is set in Bangkok and Tokyo between the turbulent years of 1933 and 1939, as a monarchy falls in Thailand and Japan is on the brink of war. A young Thai student falls in love with the American wife of a Thai diplomat, and the story of their forbidden love parallels history as the new democracy of Siam moves into the vortex of the increasingly anti-American Japan. The Pasadena Playhouse, 39 S. El Molino Ave. Pasadena. Tues.-Sun. through June 28. $47$87. (626) 356-7529. pasadenaplayhouse.org. SATURDAY, MAY 30 OEDIPUS MACHINAL Inspired by Ellen McLaughlin’s “Oedipus,” adapted from Sophocles, Ron Sossi directs a lean, contemporary adaptation that brings a new and poignant power to this primal work, a cornerstone of western drama. Odyssey Theatre, 2055 S. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. $30-$35. Dates vary through Aug. 2. (310) 477-2055 x2. odysseytheatre.com.

MURDER FOR TWO Officer Marcus Moscowicz is a small town policeman with dreams of making it to

34 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

Shakespeare conjures a world of wonder, magic and romance where comical misunderstandings and the pain of unrequited love are resolved, and all is reconciled through midsummer night revelries and the enduring power of nature. Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Performances vary through Sept. 25. $10-$40. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com.

Ends,” “Holiday” and the title track, “American Idiot.” DOMA Theatre Co. at The MET Theatre, 1089 N. Oxford Ave., Los Angeles. Fri.-Sun. through July 12. $20-$35. (323) 802-9181. domatheatre.com. FIRST FRIDAYS 2015: DO IT YOURSELF SCIENCE Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County, 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles. $18. (213) 763-3466. nhm.org. SUNDAY, JUNE 7

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3

AS YOU LIKE IT Rosalind, daughter of a banished Duke, is forced to flee the court and enter the Forest of Arden when her uncle, usurper of his brother’s estate, threatens to have her killed. Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Performances vary through Sept. 26. $10-$40. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com.

THURSDAY, JUNE 4

THE CHARDONNAY SYMPOSIUM Experience a deeper appreciation of one of the world’s noble grapes during this in-depth, three-day immersion. The Symposium’s vineyard-to-glass series of seminars includes: grand tastings, educational panels, winemaker luncheons and dinners, winery and vineyard tours and winery tastings. The Symposium brings together winemakers, sommeliers, media, foodies and wine enthusiasts from all over the world to taste, explore, learn and enjoy this veritable and often misunderstood grape. Dolphin Bay Resort and Spa in Pismo Beach. Through May 30. Event ticket prices vary. thechardonnaysymposium.com.

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM

JUNE GLENDALE NOON CONCERTS Los Angeles Horn Trio. First Baptist Church of Glendale, 209 N. Louise St., Glendale. Free. (818) 242-2113. glendalenoonconcerts. blogspot.com.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 27

SATURDAY, JUNE 6

WATER 101 Martin Riese, the nation’s first water sommelier, leads this innovative water tasting. Enjoy small bites and unique waters that may change your mind about H2O. Seating is limited. $45 per person excluding tax and gratuity. Reservations required by May 29 at descansoorders.com. Descanso Gardens, Center Circle 1418 Descanso Dr., La Cañada Flintridge. $45. (818) 949-4200. descansogardens.org. FRIDAY, JUNE 5 AMERICAN IDIOT This musical tells the story of three lifelong friends who are forced to choose between their dreams and the safety of suburbia. Featuring the music of Green Day and the lyrics of its lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong including “Boulevard of Broken Dreams,” “21 Guns,” “Wake Me Up When September

VENTURA BLUEGRASS JAMS Milano’s Italian Restaurant, Patio, Ventura Harbor Village, 1559 Spinnaker Dr., Ventura. (805) 658-0388. milanositalianrestaurant.com. THURSDAY, JUNE 11 DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES ART WALK This self-guided, public art walk brings art lovers and community friends together in downtown Los Angeles. 411 S. Main St., between Second and Ninth Streets, Los Angeles. Free. downtownartwalk.org. FRIDAY, JUNE 13

FREE FIRST SUNDAY Free admission to the Museum of Ventura County including its galleries and any special events. Museum of Ventura County, 100 East Main St., Ventura. First Sunday of each month. (805) 653-0323. venturamuseum.org.

TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD In a small Southern town during the depression, the idyllic childhood of eight-year old Scout and her brother, Jem, is changed forever when their lawyer-father defends a poor black man accused of raping a white girl. Through the drama of the trial and its aftermath, the children experience the harsh realities of prejudice that surround them. Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, 1419 N. Topanga Canyon Blvd., Topanga. Performances vary through Sept. 27. $10-$40. (310) 455-3723. theatricum.com.

TUESDAY, JUNE 9

SUNDAY, JUNE 14

WHITESNAKE David Coverdale is synonymous with vocal excellence and time and time again he and his band Whitesnake prove their viability. For decades legions of fans continue to come out in droves to hear the many hits Whitesnake has created over their illustrious career. “Slide It In,” “Here I Go Again” and “Is This Love” are just a few of their hits that graced the airwaves of rock stations across the country. Saban Theatre, 8440 Wilshire Blvd., Beverly Hills. $68-$98. (888) 645-5006. sabantheatre.org.

SECOND SUNDAY CONCERT Pasadena Central Library, 285 E Walnut, Pasadena. Free. (626) 398-0658.

exhIbItIONs A WORSE PLACE THAN HELL The Changing Face of Abraham Lincoln. This new exhibition of George Stuart Historical Figures coincides with the 150-year anniversary of the death of our celebrated 16th U.S. president. Pivotal moments of


May/June 2015 LA/Ventura Abraham Lincoln’s life and presidency are shown via Stuart’s three dimensional sculptures amid historic photographs. This exhibit illustrates how Lincoln’s appearance changed from clean-shaven to bearded, from vigorous to careworn and exhausted. The carnage, grief and suffering, in addition to struggles in his personal life, weighed heavily on the president; a progression which Ojai-based sculptor George Stuart has so effectively captured in this series of Historical Figures. Museum of Ventura County, 100 E. Main St., Ventura. Through Oct 11. $3-$4. (805) 653-0323. venturamuseum.org. SCARLETT O’HARA’S BARBECUE DRESS On display to coincide with 75th anniversary of the release of “Gone with the Wind,” is the green and white dress worn by Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh) to the barbeque at the Twelve Oaks Plantation. The costume consists of three pieces—a bodice, a skirt, and a Kelly green sash. Made to fit Leigh, its waistline measures 24½ inches (much roomier than the notorious 17-inch waist “GWTW” author Margaret Mitchell ascribed to Scarlett in her book). Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County, 900 Exposition Blvd., Los Angeles. Through May 19. $9-$12. (213) 763-3466. nhm.org. EMPIRE AND LIBERTY: THE CIVIL WAR AND THE WEST The West is seldom considered in the context of the Civil War, yet Westward expansion shaped the issues that ignited that tumultuous conflict. This exhibition combines personal stories of Americans with audio-visual presentations and extraordinary historical artifacts. Come to know Sacagawea, John Sutter, Jesse and Frank James, Andrés Pico, Biddy Mason and Big Tree. Artifacts include: Jefferson Davis’s pistol, Ulysses S. Grant’s revolver, John Fremont’s 1842 expedition flag, George Armstrong Custer’s Bible and Kicking Bear’s muslin painting of the Battle of the Little Bighorn. The Autry National Center, 4700 Western Heritage Way, Griffith Park, Los Angeles. Through Jan. 3. $6-$10. (323) 6672000. theautry.org. ROCK ‘N’ ROLL BILLBOARDS OF THE SUNSET STRIP Featuring stunning photographs of handpainted billboards that dominated the Los Angeles landscape for almost two decades,

CALeNDAR this exhibition brings to life a unique period in the history of rock ‘n’ roll and the fabled Sunset Strip, whose nightclubs were the birthplace of rock ‘n’ roll royalty. Photographer Robert Landau traces the billboard phenomenon from the breakthrough promotion for the debut album by the Doors in 1967 to the advent of MTV in the 1980s, which signaled the end of an era. Skirball Cultural Center, 2701 N. Sepulveda Blvd., Los Angeles. Tues.-Sun. through Aug. 16. $7-$10. (310) 440-4500. skirball.org. CONTEMPORARY IMPRESSIONS: THE ARTWORK OF KATE HOFFMAN Mixed-media Ojai artist Kate Hoffman is familiar to many people in Ventura County for her paintings of horses and other animals, as well as for the fluid blue and green water of her seascapes. Her images are simple and loose, and her surfaces are often rubbed to suggest the dimension of the canvas, paper and gesso underneath. This exhibition comprises 12 large works, mostly oil on canvas and many of which depict horses. The Museum of Ventura County’s Agriculture Museum, 926 Railroad Avenue, Santa Paula. Wed.-Sun. through May 31. $3-$5 (805) 525-3100. venturamuseum.org. PRIDE AND JOY The Texas Blues of Stevie Ray Vaughan. With his astonishingly accomplished guitar playing, Stevie Ray Vaughan ignited the blues revival of the 1980s and bridged the gap between blues and rock like no other artist had since the late 1960s. His tragic death in 1990 at age 35 cut short a brilliant career in blues and American rock ‘n’ roll, just as he was on the brink of superstardom. Exhibition includes: several guitars, including Vaughan’s “Number One” Fender Stratocaster, early family photographs, original stage outfits, including Vaughan’s famous Indian headdress and handwritten lyrics. The Grammy Museum at L.A. Live, Fourth Floor, 800 W. Olympic Blvd., Los Angeles. Through July 2015. $12-$13. (213) 765-6803. grammymuseum.org.

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May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 35


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Rick Steves’ Travels By Rick Steves

T

here was a time when cruising was a luxury reserved for the rich. The goal of a cruise was not travel, but hedonism: See if you can eat five meals a day topped off with a midnight buffet. But these days, there’s a cruise ship for just about every kind of traveler and the thriving cruise industry is catering to low-budget travelers as well as the high rollers. While I have always been of the belief that travelers in search of engaging and enlightening experiences should eat, sleep and explore terra firma, I am certainly aware that cruising is more popular than ever and, for many, it’s a great choice. Cruises let travelers efficiently visit several dynamically different destinations in a single week without wasting valuable hours packing, hauling bags to the station, and sitting on a train or plane. Short of sleeping on a park bench, there is no more affordable way to see Europe than cruising. On the least-expensive cruises, people can travel for less than $100 per night. Though cruising is an affordable vacation, extra expenses, such as alcohol, Internet access, spa treatments, casino games, and photos, can add up quickly. Passengers can easily rack up bills that exceed the original cost of the trip. To

avoid surprises, check your balance at the front desk every few days. To keep your bill from bloating, I recommend you buy as little as possible while on board, as things are usually more expensive on your ship than on land. To check e-mail, find a hotspot in port rather than on board. For souvenirs, do your shopping in port (ideally away from the main tourist areas) rather than on the ship. One of the biggest optional expenses on a cruise is shore excursions. Though these can make sightseeing easy and efficient, saving you the time and hassle of figuring out how to get into town on your own, in some places they may not be worth the expense. In some areas cruise ports are close to town and pubic transportation is available. In Barcelona, for example, a cheap shuttle bus goes directly from the port to the bottom of the Ramblas, the lively pedestrian drag that runs through the heart of the Old City. In Venice, an express boat zips passengers straight from port to St. Mark’s Square in 20 minutes – or you can walk in about an hour. Excursions, of course, can also be a great way to see sights in a safe and efficient way. Certain sights, such as the ancient Roman ruins of Ephesus in Turkey, involve a complicated journey by

public transit. An excursion takes care of transportation and comes with a knowledgeable local guide who can really bring the ruins to life. When it comes to all that on-board dining, remember, not all food is included in your cruise fare. Many ships have “specialty” steakhouse or sushi restaurants that cost extra. Skip these restaurants in favor of the main dining room, where the food is typically good and included. Because alcohol, name-brand soft drinks, and specialty coffee drinks all cost extra, beverage tabs can rise quickly. Instead of Diet Coke, opt for iced tea or juice, which is usually included. Some cruise lines ban passengers from bringing alcohol on board, but some allow limited bottles of wine and beer. Before you set sail, find out your cruise line’s policy on taking alcohol aboard. You don’t have to avoid extras entirely. After all, you’re on vacation. As long as you keep your spending under control, a cruise can still be one of the most cost-effective ways to see the world.

Rick St eveS’ t Ravel

Cruising on a budget

Rick Steve writes European travel guidebooks and hosts travel shows on public television and radio. You can e-mail him at rick@ricksteves. com and visit his website at www.ricksteves.com.

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 37


T Ravel MaRkeT p lace | Guide

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Juan Mountains, our dude ranch resort offers lifetime experiences for singles, groups and entire families. There isn’t one difficult activity in our perfectly personalized programs. The food is delicious, the comfort is wonderful and you’ll feel like a well cared member of the family.

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May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 39


Uni t ed Stat eS of diScovery

The Mauna Lani Bay Hotel and Bungalows is a volcanic Eden nestled on the Kohala Coast

Paradisiacal Pampering Rejuvenating the body, mind and soul Hawaiian style Compiled by Max Andrews | Photos courtesy of respective resorts

F

ew places on Earth have the power, through their tropical climate and aesthetic beauty, to relax the mind, rejuvenate the body and nourish the soul like the islands of Hawaii. While the simple act of strolling a Hawaiian beach, gazing out at the state’s abundant ethereal beauty, and allowing the warm winds and water to caress you can bring about a euphoric state, even the island’s magical powers can be enhanced with a rejuvenating spa treatment. With an ever-increasing focus on health and wellness, blended with age-old Hawaiian traditions, the Aloha State is rich with spa professionals who offer body and mind balance through traditional spa treatments as well as specialized hula massages, lava saunas and kahuna chants. Amongst the most popular spas to be found in Hawaii are:

Kahala Mandarin Oriental, Honolulu, Oahu With five suites offering indoor and outdoor showers, daybeds and infinity tubs that fill from cascading waterfalls, you will find paradise upon handmade Hawaiian quilts that cover massage tables. An aromatherapy facial is one of the specialties here along with a renowned yoga class. (800) 367-2525 www.mandarinoriental.com

Halekulani, Honolulu, Oahu This spa has become well-known for its Tongan-, Samoan-, and Tahitian-inspired treatments, which incorporate bamboo puili sticks, similar to those used in hula. Among the most requested treatments are the Polynesian steam therapy that claims to do wonders for the jet-lagged and the Polynesian Nonu massage that uses lomilomi and hot stones with a

40 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

cool aloe-like nonu gel. The spa’s seven treatment suites include steam showers and the couple’s suite has a deep furo tub. (800) 367-2343 www.halekulani.com

Mauna Lani Bay Hotel and Bungalows, Kohala Coast, Big Island This volcanic Eden nestled on the Kohala Coast offers outdoor showers, saunas, pool and treatment areas. Amongst the spa area’s fragrant tropical flora, one of their most popular offerings is a two-hour fire and ice facial, which uses hot and cold stones and Eminence products. (800) 367-2323 www.maunalani.com

Four Seasons Hualalai, Kohala Coast, Big Island

and a lava-bordered “basking whirlpool” as its centerpieces. The nine treatment suites have soaking tubs and showers. The treatment menu emphasizes traditional healing and native plants such as ‘awa (kava) and spirulina wraps, which are applied with a silk brush. (800) 321-4262 www.hotelhanamaui.com

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel and Spa, Wailea, Maui This palatial spa offers 40 treatment rooms and has been called a monument to hydrotherapy due to its 35-foot Jacuzzi, steam room and sauna, Japanese furo baths, waterfall massages, Swiss showers, and specialty baths enhanced with Moor mud, limu seaweed, tropical enzymes, Hawaiian botanicals, and mineral salts. (800) 888-6100 www.grandwailea.com

Along with state-ofthe–art fitness offerings, this resort offers an acupuncturist, physical therapist and exercise physiologist. With indoor and outdoor spa areas, skilled therapists offer authentic treatments such as the Hawaiian wahi ‘iliahi wrap, a cooling treatment with sandalwood powder and lemongrass tea. This Asian-inspired spa also offers an outdoor lava shower that should not be missed. (800) 332-3442 www.fourseasons.com

Hotel Hana-Maui, Hana, Maui This is a sophisticated spa situated on an acre of gardens with an ancient kukui tree

Four Seasons Maui at Wailea, Maui Catering to the tobe-wed and newlywed, this spa offers a wailea cocoon experience for two that is done in the most luxurious of the 13 indoor treatment rooms. This treatment includes a loofah scrub with coconut gel, a bath, and a cocoon wrap in a warm dry-float bed with a neck-and-shoulder massage. They also offer a back walk massage which is a very intense Thai-shiatsu hybrid done with the feet. Don’t miss the three oceanside massage hale on the opposite side of the property from the spa. (800) 334-6284 www.fourseasons.com


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May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 41


And Finally... The Bookworm’s Best A Life After 50 book review

by Terri “The Bookworm” Schlichenmeyer

The Age of Dignity By Ai-Jen Poo with Ariane Conrad

T

he plates you ate from years ago are still stacked neatly in the cupboard. Below them, instruments of love: cookbooks propped up by a battered mixing bowl, an ancient percolator, and a cookie jar that’s filled, as it should be. Those are scraps of your childhood, but to your mother they represent home – and you’re hoping, as she ages, that you can keep her there. In “The Age of Dignity” by Ai-Jen Poo with Ariane Conrad, you may find the strength to do it. As her beloved grandfather lay dying in a nursing home, Ai-Jen Poo felt tremendous guilt. He’d been a vibrant, active man who hadn’t wanted that kind of death – but it’s what he got, much to the chagrin of his family. “The great majority of us want to live and age at home,” Poo says, and most want to be there as long as possible. So why do we treat getting older as “a crisis” – an expensive one, at that – by putting our elders in care facilities they don’t want? Part of the issue, she notes, is a rising population: 100 years ago, one-in-25 Americans was over 65. Five years from now, that number will be one-in-six, and over a million elders will be without family to care for them. “These are,” says Poo, “astonishing statistics.” But along with a rising population, we lack enough gerontologists and home healthcare workers; the former, because it “isn’t profitable;” the latter, because it’s a job with “innumerable challenges, among them low wages… and inadequate training.” Still, says Poo: “Taking full responsibility for the care of an aging relative is… not necessarily a real option….” That can leave children and spouses frustrated and trapped – especially if they’re women, upon whom the burden traditionally falls. What can be done, she believes, is to change our attitudes toward immigration; two-thirds of childcare and eldercare workers are foreign-born; “half of them are undocumented.” Embracing the Village Movement can help, as can investing in “The Care Grid” and utilizing technology where appropriate. But first, it all starts “with respectful communication in our own homes.” “The Age of Dignity” is a unique take on an issue that, if you haven’t yet faced, you’ll likely face soon enough. It’s filled with anecdotal evidence of success and other ideas that may prove viable, but this book is not without its controversy. Through the use of dozens of stories, Poo advocates keeping elders at home as long as possible – something few of us can argue against. The quarrel may be in the idea of employing, among others, undocumented immigrants, and in the creative rearranging of government dollars – neither of which are popular topics in some circles. Even so, no matter where you stand on the greater issues, this book is a starter for conversations that are long overdue. If you are someone’s child, a spouse, or concerned about your own future, “The Age of Dignity” will give you food for thought. “The Age of Dignity” by Ai-Jen Poo with Ariane Conrad, 2015, The New Press, $25.95, 230 pages The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer who lives on a hill with two dogs and more than 12,000 books. You can contact Terri at bookwormsez@yahoo.com and read more of her book reviews at www.lifeafter50.com. Just click on “Entertainment” and then “Book Reviews.”

A Look Back

I

f you were a regular Top 40 radio listener 50 years ago this month, one of the songs you were listening to was “Help Me, Rhonda” by The Beach Boys. While everyone over 50 knows that song, few know there were actually two versions recorded – “Help Me, Ronda” and “Help Me, Rhonda.” Both written by Brian Wilson and Mike Love, the song was originally recorded as “Help Me, Ronda” in January of 1965 and released on “The Beach Boys Today!” album. Wilson had considered the song only an album cut, and was surprised when radio stations began to give it airplay. As the song continued to gain popularity with radio station program directors, Wilson realized they had a hit on their hands and quickly reworked its arrangement for a single release. The second version, “Help Me, Rhonda,” like the first one, features Al Jardine on lead vocals, but has a slightly quicker tempo. It also features a changed lyric, “ruined our plans” from the previous version was changed to “shattered our plans.” The single version was released on April 5, 1965 and by the end of May, had hit the top spot on Billboard’s Hot 100.

42 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

Just A Thought Before We Go

“Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes – by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, sisters, aunts, cousins,comrades and friends – but only one mother. – Kate Douglas Wiggin


February 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 43


44 LIFEAFTER50.COM February 2015


Orange COunty May 2015

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A Look At WoMEN’s

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Contents

May 2015

10

18

26

28

Cover Profile

Departments

10 Mariel Hemingway

6 50-Plus: What You Need to Know

Features

8 It’s The Law

Musing on “Manhattan,” motherhood, mental illness and more.

18 Life After 50 Looks At Women’s Health

Treating depression and staying happy and healthy.

A quick look at things 50-plusers should be aware of. Mitchell A. Karasov says help for mom is available.

33 Let’s Get Out

24 Is There Really Such Thing As A Non-surgical Facelift?

Looking to get out and about? Our May/June calendar has some great suggestions.

26 The Look Of Life After 50 – Michael Learned

Cruising on a budget.

Facial plastic surgeons debunk myths surrounding non-surgical facelifts. The actress who gave us Olivia Walton on her role as a mom – on-screen and off.

28 The Hallowed Hall Of Must-Knowtables * Moms Mabley Legendary notables that everyone, of every age, should know.

Cover photo by Keith Munyan / www.keithmunyan.com

37 Rick Steves’ Travels

40 United States Of Discovery

Paradisiacal Pampering – Rejuvenating the body, mind and soul Hawaiian style.

42 And Finally…The Bookworm’s Best, A Look Back and Just A Thought Before We Go

A book suggestion, memory, and a little something to leave you with.

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Editor’s Note...

The Remarkable And Extraordinary Mariel

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’ve seen hundreds of films throughout my life and, while many have become a blur, others stand out vividly because of the film itself, the performance of the actors, its score, the theatre or city in which I saw it, or the person I was with. For me, Woody Allen’s 1979 film “Manhattan” will forever serve as a harmonic convergence of all the aforementioned elements. It was spring and New York City was alive in the way only autumn and the months that serve as the prelude to summer breathe life into the Big Apple. I was in my early 20s and in the throes of a romance. The young lady I was seeing was a browneyed exotic beauty who possessed a daze-inducing air of style and sophistication. The combination of those qualities, along with our shared love of Woody Allen films, made me feel she was both remarkable and extraordinary. And so, between an early dinner and late-night drinks, the remarkably exotic sophisticate and I caught the just-released “Manhattan.” Gloriously photographed by Gordon Willis and rich with the music of George Gershwin, Allen’s love letter to New York City has him playing a middle-aged man juggling trysts between a neurotic writer who is the mistress of his best friend, portrayed by Diane Keaton, and a fresh-faced teenager, played by Mariel Hemingway. Over those post-“Manhattan” cocktails with the extraordinary, brown-eyed, daze-inducer, we shared our critiques, declared it to be Woody’s best and laughed as we recalled some of the memorable lines. What I did not do that evening was entertain the then-unimaginable thought that 36 years later, on the other side of the country, I would be having another conversation about “Manhattan” – with Hemingway! But there we were, Mariel and me, looking out at the Pacific Ocean as it rolled against the shores of Malibu, talking about “Manhattan” and many other things. I can’t say I came into working on this month’s issue with any real opinion about “Papa’s” granddaughter other than that I loved her in “Manhattan.” That changed – greatly – as I read her two latest books, came to understand the maddening minefield of mental illness and addiction she lived through as a child, and had the opportunity to get to know her a bit. Lacking even the slightest hint of pretention with a down-to-Earth, solidly grounded sensibility and a charming sense of humor, you can’t help but come away from spending time with Hemingway without being totally impressed. That feeling is all the more magnified when you consider what she has survived, and more importantly, how she has thrived and dedicated herself to helping others who find themselves in an abyss similar to the one that could have easily destroyed her, as it did her entire family. As I put the final touches on this month’s issue, it is my hope that, since those long-gone days when I thought being remarkable and extraordinary was simply about daze-inducing physical attributes, I have gained at least a modicum of maturity to know better, and the skill as an interviewer and writer to properly impart to you, through this month’s feature on Hemingway, what a remarkable and extraordinary woman truly is.

Publisher Valarie Anderson Editor-in-Chief David Laurell Associate Editors Steve Stoliar Claire Yezbak Fadden Art Director Michael Kraxenberger Editorial Assistants Max Andrews Marie Giusto Blauvelt Account Executives Los Angeles/South Bay: Tonya McKenzie Tonya@lifeafter50.com San Diego County National and Orange County Accounts: Phil Mendelson Phil@lifeafter50.com

Ad Coordinator, Travel Landra DeLoach Landra@lifeafter50.com VP Of Finance Michael T. Nagami Human Resources Andrea E. Baker Business Manager Linda Lam Billing Supervisor Kacie Cobian VP Of Operations David Comden

For advertising/distribution inquiries contact: Valarie Anderson (310) 822-1629 x 121, Valarie@lifeafter50.com To contact our editorial department: (818) 563-1007 davidl@lifeafter50.com 5355 Mcconnell Ave LA CA 90066 Valarie Anderson Valarie@lifeafter50.com 310 822-1629 x 121 Follow us on facebook @Life_After50 ©2015 Southland Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved

A May Thought

“All things seem possible in May.” – Edwin Way Teale

David Laurell, Editor-in-Chief

4 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015


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50

The Color Of Honoring Mom

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his month, Americans will celebrate Mother’s Day for the 101st time. Originated by Philadelphian Anna Jarvis, who was seeking a way to honor the memory of her own mother, she felt a day designated to pay tribute to all mothers would give children the opportunity to let them know how much they mean to them. Heading up an aggressive letter-writing campaign to businessmen, elected officials and religious leaders, urging them to designate a day for mothers, Jarvis’ work paid off in 1914 when President Woodrow Wilson signed a declaration naming the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day. While a long-standing tradition has been to present one’s mother with a corsage to wear on her special day, a second custom has emerged in which children wear a red carnation if their mother is living and a white one if their mother is deceased.

Plus

What You Need To Know

By Claire Yezbak Fadden and Max Andrews

Melissa Muses On Mom

It Just May Be Time For That Tuck

oan Rivers was a comedic legend from the neon lights of Las Vegas to the footlights of Broadway, and as a guest and host on myriad television shows. While fans got to know Joan during her 50-year career, there was only one person who really knew Joan intimately – her daughter and best friend, Melissa Rivers. Joan and Melissa had one of the most-celebrated mother-daughter relationships of all time and, for anyone who thinks Joan said some outrageous things during her performances, they won’t believe what she said and did in private. Joan’s love for her daughter knew no bounds – or boundaries, apparently, and in her new book, “The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief and Manipulation” (Archetype, May 2015), Melissa shares stories and life lessons from growing up in a household she describes as being “more Addams than Cleaver.” This tome is nothing short of delicious and chock-full of funny, poignant and irreverent observations, thoughts, and tales about the woman who raised her and is the reason she considers Valium one of the four basic food groups. Fans of the late comedienne who live in the Southern California area will have the opportunity to meet Melissa and have her sign a copy of her book on May 20 at 7:00 p.m. at the Barnes & Noble on Grove Drive in Los Angeles.

lastic surgeons are predicting the interest in cosmetic procedures – both surgical and non-surgical – will climb throughout 2015. “This is due to the improving economy, increased consumer awareness and a growing comfort level with the safety of cosmetic treatments,” says Dr. Stephen Park, facial plastic surgeon and president of the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. According to Dr. Park, there is nothing stopping today’s active aging Americans from looking as young as they feel and act. “It is increasingly common for both women and men in their 60s and 70s to seek out the expertise of facial plastic surgeons to maintain a youthful appearance. As less-invasive techniques continue to evolve, coupled with people living better and longer, there is really no maximum age for cosmetic procedures anymore,” says Dr. Park. A recent study showing that even octogenarians are at no higher risk for complications from cosmetic surgery when compared to their younger counterparts will likely encourage even more older Americans to seek cosmetic enhancements. Dr. Park says facial plastic surgeons are seeing more patients asking for little tweaks that can have a big impact on their overall appearance and self-esteem. Upon the most-requested are rejuvenating the delicate eyelid area. “When it comes to rejuvenation procedures, blepharoplasty often offers the most bang for the buck,” says Dr. Park. “The surgery can be performed under local anesthesia and take years off one’s face, with minimal risks, side effects and recovery time.” Other popular procedures include earlobe reduction, injecting fillers into creases in front of the ears and into the hollows of the face such as the temples and jawline, removing moles and birthmarks, lifting the upper lip through hidden incisions under the nostrils, as well as “soft lifts” using resorbable suture material to gently lift up sagging cheeks, brows and jowls. Surgeons and their patients are also eagerly awaiting the FDA to approve a new fat-melting injection to help reduce the appearance of double chins, as well as a new topical form of BOTOX®.

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Fifty Candles

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ifty years ago this month, jockey Bill Shoemaker won the 91st Kentucky Derby riding Lucky Debonair; the “Today Show” became the first television program to incorporate satellite technology; the Rolling Stones recorded “Satisfaction;” the U.S. Supreme Court declared the federal law allowing the U.S. Post Office to intercept communist propaganda as unconstitutional; and Cassius Clay (soon-to-be Muhammad Ali) knocked-out Sonny Liston in the first round to win the World Boxing Council’s Heavyweight Championship. Notables born in May 1965 who are celebrating their 50th birthday this month include screenwriter and director Stephen Gaghan, model Linda Evangelista, journalist Jay Carney, actors Ben Reed, Todd Bridges and John C. Reilly and actresses Melissa McBride, Brooke Shields and Tracy Tweed.

6 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

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A Little More You Need To Know

The Most Important Thing To Know This Month

Where You Need To Go The International Chardonnay Symposium

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tarting on May 27 and running through May 30, Pismo Beach and Avila Beach will host the Seventh Annual International Chardonnay Symposium, bringing together top Chardonnay producers from around the globe. Participants will experience a deeper appreciation of one of the world’s noble grapes during this in-depth, three-day immersion. This event features a series of vineyard-to-glass seminars including grand tastings, educational panels, winemaker luncheons and dinners, winery and vineyard tours and winery tastings. The Chardonnay Symposium’s primary purpose is to educate and inform top industry professionals, as well as devoted consumers, about current events and trends in Chardonnay production and culture worldwide. Among the panel discussions planned are Artisanal Sausages and Chardonnay, To Oak or Not to Oak, Global Cheeses and Chardonnay, The Fashion of Chardonnay and Minerality and Edginess: Is this the Modern Chardonnay? After the discussions end, there will be time for exploring nearby Central Coast wineries as well as the hosting seaside resort town that offers downtown wine-tasting rooms, farm-to-table and seaport-inspired cuisine as well as boutique shopping.

Go Green For Mental Health Month

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ach year millions of Americans face the reality of living with a mental health condition and in 2013, President Obama proclaimed May as National Mental Health Awareness Month to bring the issue of mental health to the forefront of our nation’s thoughts. Throughout this month the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) encourages everyone to bring awareness to mental illness which affects one-in-four American adults. You can join NAMI’s campaign to shine a light on mental illness online or in your community as they coordinate with people and organizations across the country to get everyone to “go green.”

Here are some of the ways you can show your support! •

Make your Facebook and Twitter profile picture green.

For more information and a complete listing of events, click on www.thechardonnaysymposium.com.

New Words

Utilize business and governmental connections you may have in your community to place green ribbons on trees, light posts, columns and in other public spaces and to get buildings illuminated in green throughout your town or city.

ou might not find them in a dictionary yet, but they’re a part of the everyday American vocabulary. Here’s what they mean.

Host an event or get together with friends, family and neighbors utilizing NAMI’s Activities and Resource tab on their website at www.nami.org.

Wear green. Be creative; don’t just limit this to your everyday wardrobe. Wear green shoelaces, a green suit, dye your hair green or paint your fingernails. Encourage your workplace and friends to pick a day during the month to wear green to spread the word about Mental Health Month.

Dedicate yourself to learning about new research, advances in treatments and coping strategies for living with mental illness, and then share what you find out with family and friends.

Y

Frenemy: Someone who pretends to be a friend but is actually an enemy; a friend who is also a rival. Bae: A term of endearment that technically stands for “before anyone else,” but has been adapted to be synonymous with “baby” or “sweetie.” Upstander: A person who actively stands up for a cause or belief.

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 7


It’s The Law Mitchell A. Karasov

Mitchell A. Karasov, Esq. has offices in Los Angeles, Ventura County and the Coachella Valley. He specializes in elder law with emphasis in estate planning, Medi-Cal eligibility, trust administration, probate, conservatorships of person or estate, estate and trust litigation and financial abuse litigation. For more information click on www.karasovelderlaw.com or call (818) 508-7192.

Help for mom is available

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Our mother has always been there for everyone in the family, especially our father, who has Alzheimer’s. I know our mom has spent much of their savings having caregivers take care of him at home, and now she is paying for him to be cared for in a nursing home due to his declining health. I’ve tried to convince her to apply for some government benefits, but she says my father would never have approved of that. In the last few months, our mother has needed some help because she herself has had some health setbacks. Unfortunately, she refuses to pay for caregivers for herself because she says she needs the money for our dad. She only has their Social Security and limited savings to pay for the nursing home and her caregiving costs, so it doesn’t seem like this can go on for very long. She has said she’ll go through all their money, and when it is gone, my father will go on government assistance. I’m concerned, because she’s only in her 70s and it seems like her only option might be to go into a nursing home prematurely if she runs out of money. I am really worried about her and feel like I have to get her some help to make her life better and improve the financial situation. I know she needs to apply for some assistance to pay for my dad’s care, but is there anything she can apply for to help pay for her care at home?

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Your mom needs to get help, care at home and a plan in place to help stretch her savings for the future care of both your father and her. Some proper government benefit planning by a qualified elder law attorney should go a long way toward improving your mom’s situation. The first part of the plan would be to determine how to get your dad eligible for Long Term Care MediCal to help cover his nursing home costs. With average nursing home monthly costs exceeding $7,000 in California, this would be a big savings right off the bat. Although your father might never have wanted to accept government benefits, like many of his generation, he could not have planned for the high cost of dementia care. Furthermore, most people from his generation believed that Medicare would cover all of their healthcare costs, which it doesn’t. As such, the government designed this part of the program to help people who are impacted by these extraordinary care costs beyond what Medicare covers. Once your father is eligible for this program, your mother will be in a better position to pay for her care at home. In addition to covering your father’s nursing home costs, your mom may also be a candidate for an in-home/adult day care center benefit that could cover some of her caregiving costs. The goal behind these MediCal programs is to keep people in their homes, healthy, and delay or avoid any need for nursing home care. Also, if either of your parents were in the military, the Veterans Administration may also help to subsidize or supplement your mom’s caregiving costs.


A Special Wellness Report New Medicine Based On An 88-Year Old Theory By Albert Einstein Can Help Almost Everyone Who Is Sick Or Injured!

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hat you are about to read may be the most important information you’ve ever read. Here is why.

Albert Einstein was, quite possibly, the most intelligent person who ever lived. His theories and ideas were so far ahead of his time, that even now, the smartest scientists alive are still discovering his value. One of his theories published in 1917, worked out the theory of how lasers function. However, it was not until May 16, 1960 (43 years later) that the first actual laser was developed by an American scientist. Since then, scientists and inventors have developed many types of lasers and all kinds of uses for them. They can be used as a scalpel that is so delicate, it can be used on the eyes of human beings. Lasers are used to read price codes at your local supermarkets. And they’re used to play music and video on your CD’s and DVD’s. But now, there is a new type of laser so effective against human disease and injury that it is rapidly changing the practice of medicine. This is a new type of low-level laser which produces an unfocused light that has been...

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Used By Doctors To Heal Their Patients In The Fastest Way Possible! Could you guess what kind of doctors use the highest percent of low-level lasers on their patients? It’s doctors involved in sports medicine. Why? The answer is simple. You see, doctors involved in sports medicine often have to get their patients better in the fastest way humanly possible because every day he remains “unhealthy” can cost the sports organization millions of dollars. But here’s something exciting! You don’t actually need to go to a doctor to get laser therapy. If you want to you can buy one of these devices and use it on yourself. The

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To Help Almost Every Health Problem Ever Experienced By A Human Being! Laser experts believe low-level laser therapy will become the medicine of the future. If you hold a low-level laser device against the skin of your body and turn it on, you will be able to see the laser light... but... you will not be able to feel it. There probably won’t even be a sensation of warmth. Laser light is as gentle as the kiss of a butterfly. But, from a healing point of view, it is quite possible it is more effective than drugs or surgery. Low-level laser therapy is not just the medicine of the future. For many people who know about it, it is the “medicine” they use now. The problem of trying to explain the healing powers of low-level laser therapy is...

It Works So Well On So Many Different Problems, It Seems Like It Couldn’t Possibly Be True! But it is true! As mentioned earlier, all injury and illness creates an interruption of energy to the cells of the human body. The body will never recover until the proper amount and type of energy is restored to these cells. But once that energy is restored...

For some people, a free report and information like this can mark the beginning of an entirely new life... pain-free and full of energy. For others, it can make the difference of living a healthy life compared to a low-energy life of sickness and disease. And, for those who live with enormous pain every day ... this free report could truly guide them to a miracle! But even if you are not sick, not injured, or not in pain, you should still order this report. After all, it is 100% free. And almost nobody lives out their life without having at least some kind of sickness or injury. Wouldn’t it be nice to know that, if you do become sick or injured, you will at least know where to go to find some sort of answer to your problems that don’t involve dangerous drugs!

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The Body Can Recover From Almost Anything! With the correct equipment, properly used, low level lasers have been clinically shown to reduce pain, reduce inflammation, increase cellular energy, increase cell permeability (so that the nutrients the cell needs to heal can get into the cell) and even help correct faulty DNA!* What you have just read is a very simplistic (almost childish) explanation of low-level laser therapy, of how it works, and what it can do for you. But this is something that needs to be explained to you much more accurately by a real expert. Advertisement

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May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 9


MARIEL

HEMINGWAY Musing on “Manhattan,” motherhood, mental illness and more

Story by David Laurell * Photos by Keith Munyan / www.keithmunyan.com 10 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015


B

efore she was out of her teens, Americans had already been introduced to Mariel Hemingway through her roles in the 1976 revenge drama “Lipstick” and Woody Allen’s 1979 romantic dramedy “Manhattan.” In both films, Hemingway’s ingénue characters deal with adult situations and circumstances that ranged from being disturbingly and violently shocking to a revamping of Vladimir Nabokov’s controversial “Lolita.”

Emerging in the spotlight of popular culture as a Golden Globe- and Academy Award-nominated actress – the seemingly precocious and sophisticated granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway and sister of supermodel and actress Margaux Hemingway – Mariel began to be perceived as a juvenile jetsetter, as apt to show up surrounded by the paparazzi on the French Riviera as she was an underage patron of New York’s legendary Studio 54 nightclub. At least, that was the perception. In reality, she was a naïve young girl living in Ketchum, Idaho under the cloud of “The Hemingway Curse;” struggling to exist in the fragile and dysfunctional world of a family that suffered the travails of emotional instability, mental illness, alcoholism, suicide, drug addiction and cancer. Living a dual existence, with one foot planted in the Idahoan world of madness that had her feeling like an invisible girl desperately trying to cope, while the other stood in the bright lights of New York and Hollywood film sets, Hemingway didn’t just survive, she blossomed and triumphed. Along with her acting career, she has carved out a life as the mother of two beautiful daughters, has become a prolific author, an adventurist, eco-activist, healthy lifestyle and mental health advocate and sought-after speaker focused on mindbody-spirit optimization and purposeful living. Turning the difficulties of her own early life into positive solutions to establish a sense of balance, peace, joy, fitness, integration, and authenticity, she has become both a devoted teacher and a continuing student in the understanding of a holistic approach to life. Today, working with her partner, stuntman Bobby Williams, she has become a tireless advocate, lecturer and writer promoting good nutrition, meditation, the beauty of simple living and a connectedness to self and Earth. She also preaches that coping mechanisms, help and healing is available for dealing with mental health issues and substance abuse. Along with her best-selling memoir, “Finding My Balance” (Simon & Schuster, 2004), an honest and inspiring story of her life’s journey, Hemingway has written “Mariel Hemingway’s Healthy Living From the Inside Out” (Harper Collins, 2007), a how-to guide to finding a greater sense of balance, joy and meaning through self-empowering techniques and strategies, and a healthy lifestyle cookbook, “Mariel’s Kitchen” (HarperCollins, 2009). She also worked with Oprah Winfrey who produced a 2013 documentary about Mariel and the Hemingway family entitled, “Running From Crazy,” which dwells on Mariel’s boundless advocacy for mental health awareness. In her deeply moving and searingly honest new memoir, “Out Came the Sun: Overcoming the Legacy of Mental Illness, Addiction, and Suicide in My Family” (Regan Arts, 2015), Hemingway shares, in candid detail, the story of

her troubled childhood. Born just a few months after her legendary grandfather shot himself, it was Mariel’s mission to escape the desperate cycles of severe mental health issues that had plagued generations of her family. Surrounded by a family tortured by her parents’ alcoholism, her sister Margaux’s depression and substance abuse, the suicide of her grandfather and four other family members, the severe mental health issues including schizophrenia that gripped her sister Muffet, and her mother’s battle with cancer, it was all the young Mariel could do to keep her sanity. In a compassionate and non-judgmental voice, Hemingway reveals her painful struggle to stay sane, and how she coped with the chaos by becoming obsessive about her food, schedule, and organization. While the twisted legacy of her family will always be a part of Mariel Hemingway’s life, this book tells a story of triumph in overcoming her family’s tragedies, troubles and demons and developing love and deep compassion for them, as well as herself. The book also has a companion tome, “Invisible Girl” (Regan Arts, 2015), which tells the same story in a way that is appropriate and specifically geared towards children and younger teenagers. May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 11


Life After 50 recently spent a day with Hemingway. Effervescent, funny, down-to-Earth and without a pretentious bone in her body, she harmoniously blends the wisdom of a woman and a mother who will celebrate her 54th birthday this November with a loving and optimistic girlish charm that makes it difficult to imagine the turbulent times she once faced and survived. life After 50 (lA50): it seems like, on any given week, you are all over the country doing speaking engagements. Does all the travel you do give you a greater appreciation for your time at home? Mariel Hemingway (MH): I am on the road a lot, doing speaking engagements for various mental health foundations and organizations. I love doing that, but I also love my home – being with Bobby and all the animals. lA50: What is a typical day for you when you are at home? MH: I’m an early riser and I always start my day with a cup of green tea. I then mediate for 20 minutes and feed our chickens and cats and dogs. After everyone is fed, I’ll go to a yoga class or do yoga in the backyard or go for a hike. I love routine and really try to do the same things, even if I’m on the road, to the extent I can. Keeping to a routine works for me. My meditation practice has been a huge grounding for me. I don’t usually eat until later in the day. We’re into organic seasonal food and Bobby and I both like to cook. My afternoons are typically when I write. I’ll spend a few hours working and taking care of any business at hand. As for our evenings, we’re big movie watchers and readers and are usually off to bed early. We are very normal and basic and boring – which I love. My favorite thing is to just be home with Bobby and the animals and not have anything to do. lA50: You mentioned that amongst your menagerie are cats. We would expect nothing less of a Hemingway, and would also assume they are polydactyl. MH: [laughing] They are not! I really need to get one. I almost stole one from the house [the Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum] the last time I was in Key West. They were all around and I thought: “I should nab one of these.” I love having the animals around me. My ideal life would be to live on a small farm, and, in a way, we’ve kind of done that with all the animals and a wonderful garden. lA50: let’s talk about another ideal. it is the dream of so many wellknown, established actors to be tapped to appear in a Woody Allen film. And, for you, that offer came after doing just one film, when you were only 16 – and then you got an oscar nomination to boot! MH: I know. I know. “Manhattan” is such a great movie and doing it had a profound impact on me. Doing that film really changed my life. Woody is a complex and profound human being. He made me feel like a person who was seen and listened to in a way I had never experienced before in my life. It wasn’t that my parents were not good people, but when I was young, they were very

12 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

caught up in their problems and everything that was going on in their lives, my mother’s illness and the problems with my sisters. When I was at home in Idaho, I felt like an invisible girl, which is why I chose that as the title of one of me new books. But when I was doing “Manhattan,” it was the extreme opposite. I was spending time in New York City, which was so alive and vibrant, and I was working with exceptional actors and creative people. Doing that film had a huge and lasting effect on me. lA50: Do you have any particular memory or memories that comes to mind when you think back on doing “Manhattan?” MH: Well, “Lipstick” was my first movie experience, but “Manhattan” was my first huge, major role experience. To be, literally, in Manhattan, filming on the streets of New York City, having lunch in these wonderful cafes, and hanging out with these incredible, intelligent, talented, fun and interesting people – it was a totally profound experience. There has never been another experience that has been anything like that for me. And today, having now worked on so many other productions since “Manhattan,” I have become extremely aware of just how special that was. LA50: Did you see Woody’s film “Midnight in Paris?” MH: I did and thought it was hilarious – one of his best. lA50: What did you think of Woody’s creation of your grandfather and Corey Stoll’s portrayal? MH: I thought they both did a wonderful job. It was funny and over-the-top, which was the right way to do it. lA50: isn’t it a bit bizarre – perhaps in a full-circle type thing in the oddest way – that you appeared in a film with Woody, and then years later, he did a film in which he had to cast an actor to play your real-life grandfather. MH: I thought it was great. I mean, come on, it was a comedy. It wasn’t meant to be some serious portrayal of Ernest Hemingway. I especially loved that Woody incorporated lines from “A Moveable Feast” [Ernest Hemingway’s memoir that was published in 1964, three years after his death] into the character’s dialogue. I appreciated that Woody didn’t make the character precious, but rather had fun with the way he presented him. I just thought it was wonderful. LA50: In the film, a current day writer falls into a time warp and gets the unique experience to meet ernest Hemingway and other greats of the literary and art world – f. Scott fitzgerald and Gertrude Stein and Toulouse-lautrec and Gauguin and Degas and Dali. if we could wave a magic wand right now and you could have the opportunity to spend a few moments with your grandfather, what would be the one thing you would ask him? MH: Oh my gosh! I think, for me, knowing so much about him and my family’s history with mental illness, I would be curious as to if there was ever a time


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in his life when he felt real joy – if he ever had a period of time that he experienced true peace. I would like to know if he really loved life. I know, because he suffered with so many demons in the latter part of his life, that is all that has been written about him, and it is all most people know about him. But I think he was a real lover of life. What I don’t know, and would love to ask him, is if there were moments that he felt good about himself and his work. I think that was his struggle. I think he loved life but lived it with a lot of self-inflicted judgment. So that’s what I would be curious about – to know if I’m right about that. Oh and one other thing: I would also love to know if he had the chance to do it all over again, if he would do it any differently – live life differently. I have wondered about that a lot and my instinct has been that he would. I think, given another chance, he may have lived without the feeling – maybe the obsession – that he always had to be living on the edge. lA50: Did you ever talk to you father about that? MH: My dad and I did talk about my grandfather, but honestly, not a lot. That was because my father just didn’t talk about him much. I did ask him once if Papa were still alive, if he thought he would have lived differently. He told me he thought he may have chosen to be more quiet and trusting. But who knows. lA50: After reading your two new books, one cannot help but come away with a heightened respect for what you went through as a child in trying to care for your family and keep your sanity in the midst of madness. Perhaps, because we are celebrating Mother’s Day this month, it was especially touching to read the story you tell of how your mother – shortly before she passed away – gave you an incredible gift, telling you that she thought you were an incredible mother. MH: Yes. Yes. That was huge coming from my mother. As I write in the books, my mother was not long on expressing her feelings or thoughts. She was not very in-tune to her children, because she was so involved in her own pain. So for her to have said that to me, literally the day before she died, was huge. I remember she had been looking at me playing with my oldest daughter, Dree. She was just watching us and said: “I want you to know I think you are a really good mom.” That meant the world to me. My mother suffered so much and she meant the world to me. I loved her so much. And so having that come from a woman you idolize – a woman who didn’t give out accolades easily – that was a wonderful gift. lA50: Your mother thought you were a good mother. What about you? How would you rate yourself as a mom? MH: My girls are extraordinary. One is an artist and a model, the other is an actress and a model. They are both extremely confident and independent and well-spoken women. So, I guess I can only say I must have done something right. I don’t give myself compliments very easily. But what I do know is, that because my mother was not demonstrative about ever telling me I was pretty or smart, or that she loved me – even though I knew she did – I have always felt it was really important for my kids to hear how extraordinary I thought they were and how much I love them. I don’t know, maybe I overcompensated and did it too much. But I think it worked out well, because they both have a strong selfconfidence, which was always something I struggled with when I was a kid. So I love seeing that quality in them. lA50: Your daughters are adults now. Dree is 27 and langley is 25. What is the relationship like between you three today? MH: We’re very close. Dree is becoming quite well known through her work and now does interviews herself. I always love that she says I am her best friend. That is so sweet and always makes me very emotional. My relationship with both of them is very unique and specific. My youngest, Langley, had an art show recently. I was so proud of her. I was so honored to see this beautiful art my daughter created and to be able to look up to her. I look up to both of them and admire them and I am their best friend. That wasn’t always the case, because when they were young, I was adamant that I was going to be a real mom. I wasn’t into the “I’m-your-buddy-I’m-your-pal” type of parenting. That

14 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

would not have worked for me. But as they became women, they did become my best friends, which I think is insanely cool. I feel I did a good job of being a guide to them until it was time to shove them off and allow them to begin their lives. I think that is what good parenting is about. lA50: Any other parental advice? MH: We all know there’s no course to teach you how to parent. I think that listening is very important. My grandfather wrote about the importance of listening. I think that learning to listen is one of the most powerful tools we have in dealing with others, and with life. I wasn’t always a good listener. I didn’t always listen to my children. But I have learned to be better, and I’m still learning. I think you also have to let go of the judgment of yourself as a parent and what you think you are supposed to tell a child in any specific circumstance and really allow yourself to hear what they have to say to properly deal with a specific situation. I believe if a child feels heard, they will open up and express more, because they know they are being heard and that you really do care about what is going on with them. When I was a child, I didn’t feel heard, and that’s when the lines of communication become muddled and break down. lA50: Dree and langley are now both quite a bit older than you were when you played Tracy in “Manhattan.” is that hard for you to get your head around? MH: It is. You know, I was really such a naïve kid when I did “Manhattan.” I played this kind of sophisticated and precocious character, but I was SO not


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that. I was only 16. I had never even had a boyfriend. I didn’t know anything about boys or relationships or life. I think when my girls watch the film, they perceive how not knowing of anything I was.

the light that comes after the darkness. My story is a story of hope – that we all have the power to overcome things and have joy in our lives as long as we are open about our problems and courageous enough to deal with them and seek help.

lA50: let’s talk about that naïve kid you were. Doing “invisible Girl” as a companion book to “out Came the Sun” was an ingenious idea. it is so targeted to naïve kids out there today who are dealing with dysfunction within their family. MH: Thank you! I think that book works because there is a part of me that is locked in a 14-year-old girl’s mind. I think that for children and early teens, it is such a difficult time, even if things are all good within a family. You have no experience in handling things, so I felt it was important for me to express what my feelings were and the questions and concerns I had at that time that I felt no one was listening to me. lA50: in both of your new books, but more so in “out Came the Sun,” you are so brutally honest and candid about what you and your family have gone through. There had to have been times it was difficult for you to relive those things, and to write about them so openly. MH: Here’s the thing about me: there is no difficulty with me when it comes to being candid and open, because I live my life that way. What difficulty there is comes after I have written something and it has been published or said something in an interview, and realize that I have been so candid. Then it’s like, “holy crap! What have I done?” [laughs.] But the truth is, why not be candid? All of us share some sort of story of living through difficulties and struggles and I feel that when we openly talk about it, we take away its power to be scary and have a detrimental effect on us.

lA50: for those who may always think of you as Tracy in “Manhattan” or for your portrayal of Dorothy Stratten in “Star 80,” it is, perhaps, difficult for them to realize you are old enough to appear on our cover. What are your thoughts about getting older? MH: I feel better today, physically, than I did when I was younger. What I do love about getting older is that it brings a wisdom and a sense of surrender to the things you are not able to control. When you are in your 20s, you worry about impressing people and wondering what they think of you. By the time you are in your late 30s and 40s, you don’t give that as much thought, and life after 50 – well I don’t fucking care what anyone thinks about me anymore [laughing]. Because of that, I just go about enjoying my life. I think we have the ability to be the best we can be at any age – mentally and physically and emotionally and spiritually. I don’t think that’s holding on to some false sense of not getting older. I just think when you adopt the right kind of way to live that suites you and puts you into harmony with yourself, you can do extraordinary things.

lA50: That really is true, isn’t it? it seems that everyone has been touched by at least one of the things you experienced – mental illness or alcoholism or substance abuse or suicide or cancer. if not in their own family, then with someone they know.

lA50: for this one last question, let’s go to the last scene of “Manhattan,” when Woody’s character begs Tracy not to go to london because he feels it will change her and she reassures him that “not everybody gets corrupted.” In the final line of the film, your character says: “You have to have a little faith in people.” Mariel, in today’s world, with all of our problems and concerns and uncertainties, do you think we can we still have a little faith in people?

MH: That’s the truth of it, and it is why I was compelled to write these books. I wanted these books to stress the fact that we are all touched with these things. These books are my story, but it’s a universal story, and I wanted to tell my story as honestly as possible so people would realize they are not isolated with their story. I think “Out Came the Sun” is a brilliant title for my story. My publisher, Judith Regan, came up with it and I think it works so well because the sun is a metaphor, on so many levels, of joy and light – light at the end of the tunnel –

MH: Oh my God yes! Absolutely. I think a big part of our problem is that too many people have become jaded and we don’t trust other people – we don’t trust the process of life. Sometimes I think maybe I’m too trusting, but I think we should value and embrace one another as human beings, with all of our individual quirks and problems. I don’t think we value humankind enough today. So that would make a huge difference in our world – if we could all value one another more and, yes, have a little faith in each other.

“Out Came the Sun: Overcoming the Legacy of Mental Illness, Addiction, and Suicide in My Family” along with the companion book for young people, “Invisible Girl,” tell Mariel Hemingway’s moving and compelling story of growing up and escaping the tragic legacy of mental illness, suicide, addiction, and depression in one of America’s most famous families.

For more information about Mariel Hemingway, her books, and her personal appearance schedule, click on www.marielhemingway.com.

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Life After 50 Looks At Women’s Health

Special to Life After 50 by Dr. Jonathan Shaywitz

ThE GOOD NEWS AbOuT DEPRESSION –

it’s Treatable! Mental health is a condition, not a conclusion

O

ver 50 or more years of living, you learn a lot. But you don’t need a few gray hairs to figure out that mental health can change as we get older. The normal process of aging can certainly affect our mood or general disposition, but it doesn’t have to take a toll on our mental health. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 20-percent of people age 55 years or older experience some type of mental health concern. Both older age and gender are risk factors for depression, and women, in general, are about twice as likely as men to become seriously depressed during their lifetime, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Depression in older women is such a common condition that many people think it is a natural response to the normal aging process. That assumption is exactly what is hurting our ability to prevent and treat mental health issues. What’s important to understand, right from the start, is that most cases (about 80-percent) of depression are treatable. The first step to treating an illness is to understand what it is and why it’s happening. Depression is a complex mental health

18 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

issue. It can involve so many factors – which is important to remember if someone relates the majority of their sadness to something particular that is going on in their life. Many people fixate their depression on something they can’t change – like the death of a loved one or arthritic pain. Meanwhile, depression can still allow us to generate much broader negative feelings: Some may ask themselves whether they lived a fulfilled life or made irreparable mistakes. Depression can certainly be triggered by physical and social scenarios; by the stress of something specific in one’s life, like the loss of a spouse, or less time spent with children as they go to college or move across the country for work. But it can also be linked to biological, pharmacokinetic and genetic issues that can and should also be addressed with nuanced treatment. On a biological level, depression can be a function of brain chemistry. We don’t know exactly how depression works in the brain, but science is making progress. We also know that progressive neurological diseases, such as Huntington’s disease and Parkinson’s disease, both of which are likely to intensify with age, may cause depression later

in life. Alcoholism, drug use and physical changes to the ways the body supports blood flow can also trigger depression. No drug can be prescribed to singlehandedly address any one of these changes. Each trigger has different causes, symptoms and methods of treatment.

WOMEN AND DEPRESSION

In general, women are twice as likely to experience clinical depression as men. Women are also more likely to suffer from coexisting anxiety disorders, which can lead to negative habits such as binge drinking and drug abuse. We do not have a clear medical explanation for why older women are especially at risk, but we do know there is still good news for women. Many studies show that females are more likely to be communicative about their emotional state and report their symptoms to a doctor. Some of these symptoms include overwhelming sadness or fatigue. You may suddenly find yourself wanting to be left alone more than usual, or uninterested in the hobbies that used to excite you. These and many other symptoms cannot


be dismissed as part of the normal aging process. Recognizing and addressing symptoms can be the first step toward successful treatment, but only if symptoms are properly diagnosed. While seeking any kind of professional medical help is better than none at all, it’s important to visit an expert who is trained specifically to understand one’s mental health and work with each individual on an ongoing basis. Primary care doctors are typically trained to only address physical health issues. Mental health is, by definition, an entirely separate subsection of healthcare. As the director of the behavioral health program at St. Joseph Health Mission Hospital, I know we have all kinds of experts – from psychiatrists to psychologists and therapists – who may all work with a single patient in the same visit. The brain is a very complex place, and many modalities of treatment are often required to solve the issues that exist there. Recently, a woman came to see us about her disabling anxiety, which manifested as daily panic attacks. These panic attacks became so disabling that she was unable to perform simple activities of her daily life, such as eating. Through a comprehensive approach to treatment that involved a team of experts, proper medication and cognitive behavioral therapy from trained therapists and psychologists, as well as complementary alternative medicine (such as yoga and acupressure), the patient’s anxiety began to lessen gradually and it

become more manageable. Even a mental health issue that manifests itself in a very specific way is usually tied to many more complex issues, and should usually be treated with many modalities of care.

SEEK SPECIFIC TREATMENT

Because so many patients visit primary care doctors – perhaps because they seem more accessible or are more often referred to by other general practice experts – there is a movement within the healthcare industry to team mental health experts up with primary care physicians in the healthcare setting. This could better help address mental health issues before they get worse. One common incorrect diagnosis of depression blames changing hormone levels. Fluctuation in hormone levels can indeed be directly linked to depression, which becomes particularly common during menopause. However, hormones are too often dismissed as the root cause for depression, meaning that treatment is ineffective in many cases. Another frequent barrier to proper depression treatment is avoidance of the issue. Social factors can, of course, play a role in the onset of depression. Loved ones and caretakers often confuse depression for sadness, which people find difficult to confront and hard to discuss. When we treat a mental health issue as a mood or some

other emotional state that does not require specific treatment to get better, we allow it to persist.

hOW TO hEAL

Treatment for depression includes a range of medicinal and psychiatric options. Today, electroconvulsive therapy and other new forms of brain stimulation can help resolve the chemical imbalance in the brain that can cause depression on a biological level. However, because depression is so often entangled in other mental health issues (such as anxiety), habitual effects (such as substance abuse) and environmental factors (such as changing relationships), there really is no quick fix for depression. Like any mental health problem, depression requires a range of treatment options, many of which do not require access to fancy drugs or therapies. The great majority of cured depression cases call for support from family, friends and others. I recommend attending support groups or spending time with loved ones to all of my patients, because many studies show that adequate social and emotional support is associated with reduced risk of mental illness, physical illness, and mortality. Psychotherapy, where a professional teaches people how to better understand and cope with their illness independently, has also proven to be very successful. Simple activities, such as meditation, participation in support groups, deep breathing exercises, and other physical activity such as walking or yoga, can go a long way in helping cope with depression. Doing something as simple as taking the time to sit down with family members for Sunday night dinner can be an extremely important part of treatment.

LOOKING FORWARD

The most important thing for someone suffering with depression to understand is they are not alone. People 65-years-old and older represent the fastestgrowing segment of the U.S. population, according to the American Psychological Association. The APA also estimates that in just 15 years, older adults will account for 20-percent of the U.S. population, up about seven-percent from 2008. Within this age group, about one-fifth or more people meet the criteria for a mental disorder. For women, this is often depression. The world of healthcare is rapidly starting to address this issue – from Japan’s Babyloid Robot – meant to provide a loving companion to the elderly – to deep brain stimulation techniques, this issue is being inventively addressed all over the world. Yet one of the critical aspects of a well-rounded approach to mental health treatment is timeless: spend time with friends, family and other people who are important to you. Being open and communicative about your feelings and experiences builds a door that can let others in, and help you to heal. Dr. Jonathan E. Shaywitz M.D., is the medical director of the behavioral health program at Mission Hospital Laguna Beach in Laguna Beach, California

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 19


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Bladder Issues? Help Is Available More than 40-percent of women between the ages of 60 and 79, and at least half the women age 80 and older, experience some kind of pelvic floor condition

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he pelvic floor is a combination of muscles, ligaments and connective tissues that support pelvic organs. The pelvic floor can be weakened by a combination of factors, such as the effects of menopause and aging, and other chronic medical and neurologic conditions. Pelvic floor conditions significantly compromise the quality of women’s lives, which may result in depression, social isolation and avoidance of physical and sexual activity due to discomfort and embarrassment. Any woman challenged with a pelvic health condition knows that these issues can easily affect her quality of life. What many women may not know, is that, often times, these issues are treatable. New therapies, medications and procedures offer hope to women coping with their pelvic health issues.

Pelvic floor conditions include urinary/fecal incontinence, pelvic organ prolapse (weakening of the pelvic muscles), pelvic pain and overactive bladder. Common symptoms include feeling the need to have several bowel movements in a short time period, feeling you can’t complete bowel movements, constipation, straining, frequent need to urinate (overactive bladder), painful urination and pain in the pelvic region. There are several conditions that may contribute to these symptoms, including neurological disorders, high urine production, medications, acute urinary tract infections, bladder abnormalities, incomplete bladder emptying and excessive consumption of alcohol or caffeine. Even though pelvic floor conditions are categorized as a common sign of aging, they are not. If your symptoms control

your life, it is time to talk to your doctor about your treatment options. The Center for Women’s Pelvic Health at Long Beach Memorial offers comprehensive treatment options for women with pelvic conditions, including medication therapies, rehabilitation and surgical options. For more information call 800-MEMORIAL. May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 21


Life After 50 Looks At Women’s Health

Happy Happy And And Healthy Healthy At At 50 50 And And Beyond: Beyond:

A A Checklist Checklist for for Women Women

F

Special to Life After 50 by Dr. Kenneth Smith

or many women, their 50s and 60s come with their share of highs and lows. It is a time of great milestones, of course, but also one of uncertainty as this new chapter of life brings with it many changes. Life after 50 usually means grandkids are in the picture and that retirement plans are starting to firm up and take shape. It is also a time when people may explore a new hobby, volunteering, or even an encore career. However, it is also a time of life in which significant changes can take place in one’s physical and mental health. Many women in the U.S. can now expect to live until their late 80s or early 90s, but the age of menopause has not changed. As a result, many women are living a third of their lives in the postmenopausal state, which can have a substantial impact on their health and lifestyle. Pre- and post-menopausal symptoms come with an acceleration of aging changes, urogenital and sexual changes, along with impacts on mental health. In fact, studies indicate an estimated 20-percent of women have depression at some point during menopause. That is caused by a rise in estrogen levels at the same time that increased serotonin levels are taking place – the primary brain chemical that regulates mood. The fluctuation in hormones during this time often causes hot flashes, night sweats, chills and insomnia, resulting in a significantly impaired quality of life. To help alleviate some of these symptoms, many women try hormone replacement

22 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

therapy (HRT) which has proven to provide relief of hot flashes, improvement in depression, and prevention of chronic disease such as osteoporosis, cardiovascular illness, and Alzheimer’s disease. Of course, with anything one may choose to put into their body, it is vitally important that it’s the right thing to do and that a consultation with one’s doctor has discussed the pros and cons. Whether it’s menopause that is causing one to feel blue or, perhaps, just the adjustment to a new lifestyle, there are many proactive methods one can take to ensure that happiness thrives. Studies have shown that happy people tend to live longer and experience better health than their unhappy peers. The health benefits of happiness are astounding and include stress relief, improvement of blood pressure and heart problems, boosting the immune system and much more. Here is a checklist of useful ways to be and stay happy:

IMPLEMENT HAPPINESS IN YOUR DAILY LIFE

Think about the last time you really laughed or genuinely enjoyed yourself. Maybe it was at a dance class with a friend or playing with your pet or grandkids. Take those moments and replicate them as much as you can. It is precious moments like those that, for many people, evoke happiness. If you don’t already have those moments, or they seldom occur, don’t be afraid to get out there and

create them. Don’t isolate yourself, and try to stay open to socializing, making new friends and creating new experiences. For some, it’s not easy to venture out of their comfort zone. If that’s the case, there are often local resources for people over 50 to connect – whether it’s for general networking, taking classes or even dating.

FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF

Another critical element to being happy is selfconfidence. You can feel good about yourself and boost your self-esteem in a variety of ways through exercise, eating right, or pursuing a favorite hobby – or starting a new one. Find something that works for you and implement it into your routine. The better you feel about yourself, the happier you’ll be and will want to share it with others.

MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF

Your 50s and beyond are a time for self-reflection. Take time to read, write in a journal or even meditate. These quiet time rituals can provoke optimistic feelings about your life, family and friends.

TRAIN YOUR BRAIN

The road to happiness may not be as easy for some as it is for others. You may have to train your brain to be happy. For example, for some, their first instinct may be to think negatively, while others immediately see the glass as half-full. Seeing the world in a more positive light


will naturally allow you to be surrounded by more positive people and experiences – which, in turn, will evoke happiness.

*

Women 50 and over must also pay close attention to their health which is a major part of maintaining happiness. To make sure you are being proactive with your healthcare, the following is a checklist of the “must dos”:

CANCER SCREENINGS: Colon screening should begin at 50. Mammograms should be annual and pap smears should continue every one to three years if you are sexually active. CHECK YOUR BONES: Make sure you keep your bones healthy by having a bone density scan. You should also have you doctor check your calcium and vitamin D intake. GET SOME SLEEP: Don’t expect to get by on less sleep then you used to. Your body requires just as much sleep as it ever has and rest is critical to your overall health, especially in your 60s and beyond. MAKE THOSE ANNUAL VISITS: You need to have your

blood pressure, cholesterol, glucose, and thyroid tested each year once you turn 50. Also, talk to your doctor about any symptoms of depression, which can be common in women over 50.

MOVE IT! Aerobic exercise (such as walking) builds strong bones. It also reduces heart disease risk. Remember, heart disease is the number one killer of women. The important thing to remember is to embrace each new chapter of life by being your best self. Being proactive about your health and incorporating happiness into your daily life will have life-changing effects on your life, your health and everyone around you.

DON’T WORRY – BEE HAPPY!!!

S

outhern California residents interested in learning how to get and stay happy can attend free classes hosted by Inter Valley Health Plan as part of their new program: Bee Happy – The Happiness Project. Classes are focused on learning ways to keep happy and healthy, and how to become more involved socially. As part of the Bee Happy program, Dr. Kenneth Smith will be hosting a free “Doc Talk” webinar entitled “Bee Happy: Talking about the Blues” on June 18 and June 25. He will discuss the many types of depression and the treatments that might help to bring more happiness into your life. A live Q&A session will follow the webinar. People interested in attending the webinar on June 18 can visit any of three Inter Valley Health Plan Medicare Information Centers located at 214 E. Stetson Avenue in Hemet, 12209 Hesperia Road, Suite E in Victorville and 927 S. Brookhurst Avenue in Anaheim. Those interested in the webinar on June 25 can visit any of three other MIC locations at 1601 Monte Vista Avenue, Suite 275 in Claremont, 300 S. Highland Springs Avenue, Suite 10-J in Banning and 2995 Van Buren Boulevard, Suite A13 in Riverside.

For more information and a schedule of upcoming classes, click on www.forhealthandliving.com/ivhpevents Dr. Kenneth Smith is the chief medical officer for inter Valley health plan, a not-for-profit medicare advantage health plan serving los angeles, the inland empire, and north orange county. inter Valley health plan is dedicated to keeping its members healthy and strong and delivering highly personalized service to the medicare-eligible community. For more information click on www.iVhp.com

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Is There really such a ThIng as a

NoN-surgical FaceliFt? Facial plastic surgeons debunk myths surrounding non-surgical facelifts

A

Special to Life After 50 by Patty Mathews

lunchtime lift … a facelift in a bottle… a liquid lift … a non-invasive lift… you’ve seen them advertised with dozens of names for devices, creams, and procedures that claim to be alternatives to traditional facelifts. But how do these quick fixes really stack up against a surgical facelift? “A facelift is a surgical procedure, and by definition, there is no such thing as a non-surgical facelift,” says Dr. Stephen S. Park, who serves as the president of the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (AAFPRS). “There is a role for many of the techniques and procedures out there, but they should not be considered substitutes for a facelift.” According to the recent statistics from the AAFPRS, facelifts were the second most-common cosmetic surgical procedure last year, behind rhinoplasty. Facial aging involves skin changes such as wrinkles, brown spots and sun damage; dynamic lines from overactive muscles; loss of volume such as hollow cheeks and temples; the loss of elasticity and the pull of gravity that cause skin to sag. “Most of these so-called non-surgical facelift alternatives may target one or two of the signs of facial aging, whereas a facelift hits all or most of them,” says Dr. Park.

INJECTABLES

Whether soft-tissue fillers, fat or BOTOX®, injectables can help erase fine lines and wrinkles and

24 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

add volume to sunken areas of the face. The result? A younger, more refreshed appearance. “This is not a facelift, but can be very effective at reducing some of the signs of aging on the face,” says Dr. Edwin Williams, president-elect of AAFPRS. “There is also minimal downtime with injectables, so you can get back to your life right away, but these treatments will need to be repeated about every four to nine months to maintain the results.”

SKIN TIGHTENING

Devices that use radiofrequency (RF) energy can help increase the body’s natural collagen production. Collagen is the protein that gives your skin the structure and support associated with youth, but it dwindles with advancing age. “Radiofrequency devices stimulate collagen production to firm skin,” says Dr. Williams. “Ultrasound waves can also give your collagen supply a turbo boost.” They won’t duplicate the results of a facelift, but they can help improve skin quality, tone and texture for people who are not ready for surgery. “It’s a tradeoff because the results are not as dramatic as a facelift, but the downtime and cost associated are much less,” he says.

FAT REDUCTION

With advancing age, fat tends to redistribute throughout the face and neck. For example, you lose fat where you need it most, such as the cheeks, and gain fat in places where you may

not want it, such as the jowls and neck. Facial plastic surgeons offer several options to remove unwanted fat, including liposuction, fat destruction via radiofrequency, cryolipolysis and ultrasound. “Liposuction can get rid of double chin or a dreaded turkey neck and for some people, that may be enough to make a meaningful difference in their appearance,” says Dr. Park.

LASERS AND LIGHT

Today’s lasers and light-based energy systems can help treat the skin changes associated with aging and many can also help stimulate the production of collagen. “Laser skin resurfacing offers a host of benefits for the aging face and may buy you some time, but even lasers will not replace the visible results of a surgical facelift,” says Dr. Williams. The deeper ablative resurfacing lasers do require some downtime, whereas non-ablative treatments may be repeated at intervals to maintain the skinrejuvenating effects. The American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery is the world’s largest specialty association for facial plastic surgery. Their members are board certified surgeons whose focus is surgery of the face, head, and neck, and subscribe to a code of ethics. In addition, the AAFPRS provides consumers with free information, brochures and a list of qualified facial plastic surgeons that can be obtained by clicking on www.AAFPRS.org.


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Michael Learned The actress who gave us Olivia Walton, one of television’s quintessential moms, reflects on her own mother and the roles she has played as a mom – on-screen and off Story by David Laurell * Photos by Bill Dow

O

ver the past 60 years, television has given us a number of iconic characters that have served as our ideals for a family’s matriarch: Harriet Nelson, June Cleaver, Carol Brady, Shirley Partridge, Marion Cunningham, Claire Huxtable, and so many others, including one of the most endearing – Olivia Walton. Portrayed by actress Michael Learned during the nine-year run of the 1970s CBS hit series “The Waltons,” Olivia came into American homes four years longer than Carol Brady and six years longer than Shirley Partridge. “Olivia Walton was an ideal,” says Learned. “She was soft, feminine and loved her role in life as a mother and a wife. She was also a woman with grit who had a good sense of who she was. It was very interesting for me to play a role like that – of a woman who had that kind of self-confidence when I myself didn’t really know who I was. Olivia was a great role model for me.”

LIFE BEFORE OLIVIA The eldest of six daughters born to a U.S. State Department employee and his wife, Learned, who would go on to achieve a successful stage and television career, garner four Emmy Awards for her portrayal of Walton and Mary Benjamin in the early1980s CBS series “Nurse,” and a People’s Choice

26 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

Award, says her earliest memories are of an idyllic life on her family’s Connecticut farm. “It was a gentleman’s farm, as they call it in Connecticut,” says Learned. “There were orchards and grapevines and beautiful gardens that my father tended. And for my sisters and me, it was 21 acres of paradise. It was an incredibly beautiful place with goats and rabbits and pigs and horses. We kids would be out all over the place exploring all day.” If Learned’s early life sounds somewhat Waltonesque, that was her mother’s dream and plan. “My mother was a witty, bright and intelligent woman who was an only child,” says Learned. “She grew up in Europe and was raised by governesses. As a young girl, she had a dream – to have a big family – like the Waltons. So her dream came true. She had six girls, which, I think may have been somewhat overwhelming for her. But nonetheless, she did a damn good job of raising her children.” As for her father, also an only child, Learned recalls that the genteel farm life he gave them came to an abrupt end when he became a part of the Office of Strategic Services (OSS), a United States intelligence agency that had been formed during World War II. “Because of his work, we moved to Austria in 1950, to this tiny village,” Learned says. “I was just 11 at that time and I saw things I had never seen or even knew about living in a garden-filled farm

in Connecticut. I saw real poverty and the ravages of war and bombed-out buildings. When you are young, you are very alive on so many levels, and seeing those things made a deep impression on me.” While Learned’s father continued his work based out of Austria, she attended Arts Educational School (now Tring Park School for the Performing Arts) in Tring, Hertfordshire, England where she developed a love for theater and the desire to pursue a career as an actress.

THE BEGINNING OF CAREER AND FAMILY Returning to the U.S. when Learned was in her mid-teens, she met and married actor Peter Donat, the nephew of Academy Award-winning actor Robert Donat, when she was just 17-yearsold. Together, Learned and Donat performed at Shakespeare Festivals in Canada and the U.S. and with San Francisco’s American Conservatory Theatre (ACT) while raising a family of three sons. It was during her work with ACT, in a production of Noel Coward’s “Private Lives,” that she was spotted by television producer Lee Rich, who had been on the lookout for an actress to play the mother in a new show about a Depression-era family. Cast as Olivia Walton in 1971, Learned was considered by some to be too young for the role.


REAL-LIFE MOTHERING While the nation came to know Learned through her character – the ideal of the American wife and mother – in real life, she struggled through two more failed marriages and the difficulty of raising children while maintaining a demanding career. “I didn’t have a lot of self-esteem and was somewhat lost,” she recalls. “I had been married at 17 and then quickly fell into the 1950s good-wife role, so, throughout my early and mid-20s I only knew of being a mother and wife. When I was no longer a wife, I felt lost, with no identity. I also felt I had lost my identity as a mother, because my work on ‘The Waltons’ kept me away from my kids due to the long hours. When I did get home, they

going out with John, I told him he wasn’t my type because he had a job, a nice car, smelled good and thought I was terrific. None of that was my type,” she says with a laugh. “But he is a dear man with a great sense of humor and he has made my life after 50 the best years of my life. I met him when I was 49 and, by that time, I had been alone for a while. I had no husband, no kids at home, no pets, and thought I would enjoy this life of independence. But then this lovely man came into my life and everything changed for the better.” Balancing her work with being a wife, Learned says she still enjoys working, but also relishes her time at home. “I do laundry and go shopping and just live a normal kind of boring life,” says Learned. “John and I watch ‘Justified’ and ‘The Americans,’ which I really like because I identify with the kid and Richard [Thomas] is great in it. I’m also writing my memoirs. I’m not very disciplined, so at the rate I’m going, it probably won’t be done until I’m 90. I do a little bit here and there, when the mood strikes, so it is like a patchwork quilt.” She also says that she is at a point in her life when she looks back at her work in “The Waltons” with great pride and satisfaction. “I loved doing the show,” she says. “We shot at Warner Bros. and I always found it to be a humbling experience to be working on that lot that holds the souls of so many film legends. I feel the same thing when I work in an old legendary theater. There’s a mystical sense about working in places that hold great history. And today, I’m constantly humbled by what I hear from people who loved ‘The Waltons.’ Here was would all be waiting for me with their problems this show, without any car chases or high drama, that and I would be exhausted. I remember once, I just really resonated with people. I’ve had people tell me couldn’t handle it all and I went on strike, which it got them through bad times and taught then to be was the inspiration for an episode of ‘The Waltons’ a mother. That show was the thing that made me feel when Olivia went on strike. So even Olivia wasn’t there is, in fact, purpose in being an actor, because of perfect. Even excellent parents make mistakes and, the way it touched people. I’ll always be grateful for of course, there are no such things as perfect parents. having had the chance to be a part of ‘The Waltons’ Even if you get it completely right with one child, – of Earl’s Hamner’s legacy. It was a great show to every child is a unique individual, so what works work on and we were a very happy group.” for one won’t work with another. Still, I feel I did a good job raising my children and today they are FINALLY, A NAME SHE really good people whom I am very proud of. Sure I REALLY LOVES wish I had been more grounded when I was raising them, but we all muddle through and it’s never easy. Asked about her feelings on getting older, Learned I learned over the years that being a role model is says she finds it a bit confusing. “I wake up and important and I feel I was a good role model who forget that I’m old until I stand up and my feet hurt showed my kids what I believe to be the most and then it hits me that I’m 76,” she laughs. “But important things in life – love and humor and a zest inside, I don’t feel old at all.” for living.” She says she keeps in shape by attending a jazz dance class at least three times a week and is A LIFE OF BALANCED HAPPINESS an adherent to a Mediterranean diet, although she admits to periodic pleasures. “I do have my sugar Having just celebrated her 76th birthday in April, lapses, because I love chocolate,” she laughs. “But Learned lives in Beverly Hills with her fourth overall, I don’t think about getting older, because husband, attorney John Doherty, whom she married this really is the best time of life for me. Today, in 1991. it’s all about my husband and three dogs and five “John is my soul mate,” says Learned. “I really grandchildren, who range in age from 13 to 20, who wasn’t sure I would ever marry again, but he is just call me Granny Mikey.” wonderful. It took me awhile to get marriage right She pauses and smiles. “Granny Mikey,” but, like parenting, you make mistakes and hopefully she repeats with savor. ”Now that’s a name learn from them and move on. When I first started I really love!”

Photob By Hayley Sparks

In real life, she was only 11 years older than Richard Thomas, who played her oldest child, John-Boy, and more than 12 years younger than Patricia Neal, who originated the role of Olivia in the 1971 made-fortelevision film, “The Homecoming: A Christmas Story,” which was based on Earl Hamner, Jr’s novel “The Homecoming” (Buccaneer Books, 1970). Still, the producers considered her to be the right choice and billed her as “Miss Michael Learned” due to the fact she was relatively unknown and they were concerned there would be confusion over her masculine given name. In addressing the issue of her name, Learned repeats the response she has given for years, saying her parents never really explained why they named her “Michael.” “My father said had I been a boy they would have named me Caleb, which is my son’s name. But because I was a girl, they named me Michael. That was it. The only explanation I ever got.” As a child, she hated the masculine moniker, because no one believed it was her real name, and for a time, took to telling people her name was “Betty.” “I actually did have a nickname as a kid,” she reveals. “My father called me ‘Mack’ and I still have a friend who calls me that to this day.” With the popularity of “The Waltons,” Learned’s career was on an upward trajectory. The opposite, however, was true of her personal life and marriage, which ended in 1972. During that time, as a divorced woman with three young boys and the demands of a weekly show, she realized she had become far too dependent upon alcohol. “I was drinking too much, because I was depressed and unhappy,” she reveals. “My kids were teenagers and had begun to experiment with pot, which I was not happy about,” she continues. “I felt I could not be any sort of a role model to them if I sat there lecturing them with a drink in my hand. So I quit, and haven’t had a drink since.”

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 27


The Hallowed Hall of Must-Knowtables By David Laurell Illustration by Mark Hammermeister

Moms Mabley While her stage, screen and nightclub persona was that of a toothless, bedraggled, old woman in a house dress and floppy hat, Moms Mabley was a trailblazing vaudevillian, comedienne, actress and political activist whose career spanned over a half century.

A

granddaughter of freed slaves, the woman who would become known as Jackie “Moms” Mabley, was born Loretta Mary Aiken on March 19, 1894 in Brevard, North Carolina. Loretta was one of 16 children born to a small businessman, James Aiken, and his wife, Mary, who supplemented the family’s income by taking in boarders. Along with running a grocery store, which was James’ primary venture, he was also a volunteer fireman who lost his life in a fire-related accident when Loretta was just 11-years-old. Following her father’s death, her mother took over the store for almost two years, remarried, and was killed after being hit by a truck while coming home from church on Christmas Day. By the time Loretta was 14, she had been raped twice resulting in the birth of two children who were given up for adoption. Following the birth of her second child, and being forced, by her stepfather, to marry an older man whom she despised, Loretta left North Carolina for Ohio where she joined a traveling vaudeville show that worked the “chiltin’ circuit,” performing in theaters that would employee black entertainers during segregation. It was during her time in vaudeville that Loretta met a fellow performer, Jack Mabley, whom she causally dated. Having been on the search for a stage name, Loretta decided to adopt the feminized version of his name – Jackie Mabley.The moniker of “Moms” would come later, hung on her by fellow performers as a term of endearment for her reputation for mentoring and mothering her colleagues.

A singer and dancer, Mabley found her true niche in comedy which she believed stemmed from her grandmother’s sense of humor. When she created the character of Moms Mabley, she took on the look of a dowdy old woman as a homage to her grandmother. By the mid-1920s, the then 27-year-old Mabley had reportedly come out as a lesbian, albeit only to friends and fellow performers. She had also established a persona and routine that, long before comediennes Phyllis Diller and Joan Rivers, saw her blaze the path as the lone female in the world of standup comedy. A part of the first wave of black comedians to be noticed beyond AfricanAmerican audiences, that also included Redd Foxx and Dick Gregory, Mabley was also one of the first standup comics to “work blue,” presenting raunchy, Xrated material that was, perhaps, more palatable for audience acceptance by her appearing to be much older than her actual years. With her lovable, old, rumpled, curmudgeon persona (one that, ironically, vastly differed from the stylishly-tailored look she maintained offstage) Mabley was able to get away with material that other comedians, let alone a women of the time, would have never been able to present. Heavily incorporating the controversial topics of racial bigotry and sex into her routines, she became especially well-known for her abhorrence of older men and her fondness for younger ones. “The only time you see Moms with my arms around some old man,” Mabley would deadpan, “was if I’m holding him for the police.”

This feature is intended for you to clip and give to your children or grandchildren because…they must-know! 28 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015


With her growing popularity as a headliner who performed at Harlem’s legendary Cotton Club, the late-1930s also saw her become the first comedienne to be featured at Harlem’s Apollo Theater and Connie’s Inn where she was reportedly earing a staggering $10,000 a week. That prominence was instrumental in her parlaying her standup work into a film and stage career. The 1940s saw Mabley appear in several films and continue to do standup where she was billed as “The Funniest Woman in the World.” The following decade then saw her turn to recording with Chess Records and the eventual release of over 20 comedy albums. Having garnered a solid African-American fan base, Mabley finally broke into the mainstream, gaining a following with white audiences in the 1960s. She performed at Carnegie Hall and The Playboy Club, and began appearing on the hugely popular variety television programs of the era. These performances, 40 years after her career began, finally made her a national star who would have a huge impact on many burgeoning comics including Bill Cosby, Joan Rivers and the then-very young Eddie Murphy and Whoopi Goldberg. While Mabley will forever be best-remembered for her hip and edgy comedy, she carved out one of her greatest career accomplishments with a completely serious cover version of songwriter Dick Holler’s “Abraham, Martin and John” that had been a 1968 hit for pop star Dion DiMucci. Mabley’s version of the song hit Number 35 on the Hot 100 in July of 1969 making the then75-year-old, the oldest living person to score a U.S. Top 40 hit. Mabley’s career wound down after she took on a starring role in the 1974 United Artists comedic film “Amazing Grace.” During the filming Mabley suffered a heart attack that would put production on hold for three weeks while she had emergency surgery and a pacemaker installed. When she finally did return to work, she was considerably weakened but determined to finish the film and continue to perform. In spite of her determined spirit the following months saw Mabley cancel a series of shows when she was admitted to White Plains Hospital and put on medication and a very strict diet, which she didn’t adhere to. On May 23, 1975, Mabley died from heart failure at the age of 81. Her comedic contemporary, Dick Gregory, delivered the eulogy at her funeral that was attended by a who’s who of showbiz notables. “Had she been white,” Gregory told those who had come to pay their respects, “she’d have been known 50 years ago.” Following the funeral, Mabley was buried at Ferncliff Cemetery in Hartsdale, New York.

LEARN MORE • Moms Mabley’s comedy recordings are available through eBay and Amazon. • “Whoopi Goldberg Presents Moms Mabley,” a documentary film which first aired on HBO in 2013, is available for purchase at www.hbo.com.

Mark Hammermeister is an award-winning artist. His work is available for purchase at www.markdraws.com May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 29


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May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 31


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949.497.2787 949.497.2787 lagunaplayhouse.com lagunaplayhouse.com 32 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

Located in Northern San Diego County From Orange County & Los Angeles County: Take I-5 South to Hwy 76, go east 23 miles From San Diego & Riverside County: Take I-15 to Hwy 76, go east 5 miles


Let’s Get OUt

San Diego/Orange County/Inland Empire

A Preview of Upcoming Events for May/June By Claire Yezbak Fadden

eNteRtAINMeNt

TUESDAY, MAY 19

FRIDAY, MAY 15

CABARET The scene is the Kit Kat Klub, a seedy night club in Berlin, as the 1920s draw to a close. Cliff, a young American writer, meets Ernst, a German who puts his briefcase among Cliff’s luggage at the German border. “Cabaret” reminds us of the insidious reign of the Nazi regime and the lengths that the characters go to in order to “leave their troubles at the door.” Welk Resorts Theatre, 8860 Lawrence Welk Dr., Escondido. Dates vary through July 26. $45-$75. (888) 802-7469. welktheatre.com.

ARMS AND THE MAN The beautiful Raina Petkoff is about to marry the heroic soldier Sergius. But the battlefield sweeps into her boudoir when an enemy soldier takes refuge under her bed. Soon she will have to decide between her romantic ideals and the surprising sensations of new love. This charming play mixes smarts and silliness in a wonderfully entertaining tale of love and war. Donald and Darlene Shiley Stage, Old Globe Theatre, Conrad Prebys Theatre Center, 1363 Old Globe Way, Balboa Park, San Diego. $29-plus. Through June 14. (619) 234-5623. theoldglobe.org. ANNIE THE MUSICAL Leapin’ Lizards. The world’s best-loved musical returns in time-honored form. Featuring book and score by Thomas Meehan, Charles Strouse and Martin Charnin, this musical includes such unforgettable songs as “It’s the Hard Knock Life,” “Easy Street,” “I Don’t Need Anything But You,” plus the eternal anthem of optimism, “Tomorrow.” Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Through May 24. $29-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org. FREUD’S LAST SESSION At the outbreak of World War II, Sigmund Freud has a meeting with a young Oxford professor, C.S. Lewis. Lamb’s Players Theatre, 1142 Orange Ave., Coronado. $22-plus. Through May 17. (619) 437-6000. lambsplayers.org. SATURDAY, MAY 16 MURDER FOR TWO One actor investigates the crime... one actor plays all the suspects... and they both play the piano. A zany blend of classic musical comedy and madcap mystery. Laguna Playhouse, Moulton Theatre Main Stage, 606 Laguna Canyon Rd., Laguna Beach. Through May 27. Prices vary. (949) 497-2787. lagunaplayhouse.com. SUNDAY, MAY 17 THE WALK TO CURE ARTHRITIS This nationwide signature event unites communities across the country to put an end to arthritis. This event features a threemile and one-mile course and seeks to help millions of people live better with arthritis pain and fund research that’s moving closer to a cure. Pet owners are encouraged to bring their dogs. Arthritis Foundation, Angel Stadium 2000 E. Gene Autry Way Anaheim. Registration information at ocwalktocurearthritis.org. LIVE JAZZ ON THE PATIO Joe Bigham and Friends. Bernardo Winery, Tasting Room Patio, 13330 Paseo Del Verano Norte, San Diego. Free. bernardowinery.com.

May/June 2015

WEDNESDAY, MAY 20 THE WHALE On the outskirts of Mormon Country, Idaho, a 600-pound recluse hides away in his apartment, eating himself to death. Desperate to reconnect with his long-estranged daughter, he reaches out to her, only to find a viciously sharp-tongued and wildly unhappy teen. Cygnet Theatre, 4040 Twiggs St., Old Town San Diego. Dates vary through June 14. $39-plus. (619) 337-1525. cygnettheatre.com. FRIDAY, MAY 22 OZ 2.5 Oz was never like this. That’s because it’s “OZ 2.5,” a video game that’s brighter, bolder and customized for every player. With the help of the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion, Dee, who’s moniker is Dorothy 14, gets through each level on her way to defeating the Witch of the Western Realm. But what happens when she wins the game and wants to go back to Kansas? South Coast Repertory, Julianne Argyros Stage, 655 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Through June7. Dark Mondays. $25-plus. (714) 708-5555. scr.org. ROCK IN THE PARK: STEVE POLTZ Poltz’s sound is entirely unique--from his inhuman fingerstyle techniques to the inimitable melodies that roll from his guitar like cool waterfalls. This show is frenzied, aggressive, hilarious and heartbreakingly sincere. Reuben H. Fleet Science Center, 1875 El Prado, San Diego. $32. (619) 238-1233 x806. rhfleet.org. GARDEN GROVE STRAWBERRY FESTIVAL This four-day festival offers 35 carnival rides, contests, some 200 food and sales booths, games, music and live entertainment in the amphitheater. Village Green between Main St. and Euclid Ave., Garden Grove. Through May 25. (714) 638-0981. strawberryfestival.org. SATURDAY, MAY 23 RICH GIRL Claudine’s mother has it all: she’s wealthy, successful, and famous. Claudine is awkward, shy and forever living in her mother’s shadow. When a dashing artist sweeps Claudine off her feet, her mother is convinced that all

THURSDAY, MAY 28

ANDRE PREVIN

Conductor André Previn enjoys an international career in classical music, and has previously enjoyed success in the movies, musicals, popular music and jazz. No stranger to the Southland, Previn served as music director of the Los Angeles Philharmonic from 1985 to 1989. Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Through May 30. $25-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org.

he’s after is her money. The Old Globe Theatre, Sheryl and Harvey White Theatre, Conrad Prebys Theatre Center, 1363 Old Globe Way, Balboa Park, San Diego. $29plus. Through June 21. (619) 234-5623. theoldglobe.org. ZORRO Follow the amazing exploits of Don Diego de la Vega as he assumes the mysterious identity of the cunning fox crusading for true justice in the days of Spanish California. Suspenseful swordfights combine with romance and comedy for a rousing musical adventure signed with the “Z” of Zorro. LifeHouse Theater, 1135 N. Church St., Redlands. Weekends through

June 28. $14-$18. (909) 335-3037 ext. 21. lifehousetheater.com. EVERYBODY’S TALKIN’: THE MUSIC OF HARRY NILSSON Described as “the most famously anonymous composer and performer of our time,” Harry Nilsson, was a two-time Grammy Award-winner and legendary hellraiser best known for “Everybody’s Talkin’ at Me,” “Can’t Live, If Living is Without You,” “One is the Loneliest Number” and “You Put the Lime in the Coconut.” San Diego Repertory Theatre at the Lyceum Space, Lyceum Stage, 79 Horton Plaza, San Diego. Dates vary through June 21. $31$75. (619) 544-1000. sdrep.org.

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 33


CALeNDAR

May/June 2015 San Diego/Orange County/Inland Empire

JUNE

SUNDAY, MAY 24 CLASSICS AT THE MERC Ayrton Pisco, violin; Suzanne Shick, piano. Chamber performances by the region’s best professional musicians. Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. Sundays. $12. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3

THURSDAY, MAY 28 JAZZ AT THE MERC Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. $15. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org. FRIDAY, MAY 29 COME FROM AWAY What started as an average day in a small town turned in to an international sleepover when 38 planes, carrying thousands of people from across the globe, were diverted to Gander, Newfoundland’s air strip on September 11, 2001. Undaunted by culture clashes and language barriers, the people of Gander cheered the stranded travelers with music, an open bar and the recognition that we’re all part of a global family. La Jolla Playhouse, UCSD Campus, Sheila and Hughes Potiker Theatre, 2910 La Jolla Village Dr., La Jolla. Prices vary. Through June 28. $25. (858) 550-1010. lajollaplayhouse.org.

crafters enjoy this display of thousands of buttons. See 18th century to vintage (pre-1918) and modern (post-1918) buttons, along with studio buttons made by artisans for collectors. Also on display are Bakelite, celluloid, Victorian glass, calicos and uniform buttons. Regency Ballroom, Town and Country Resort and Convention Center, 500 Hotel Circle N., San Diego. Also May 31. Free. cabutton.org. COMEDY AT THE MERC PseudoRandomNoise offers their unique style of audience-participatory improvised comedy where you play too by helping to write, direct and even star onstage with some of the region’s most talented comedic actors. Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. $12. (866) 6538696. temeculatheater.org.

SATURDAY, MAY 30

SUNDAY, MAY 31

CALIFORNIA STATE BUTTON SHOW Collectors, dealers, tailors and seamstresses, jewelry and costume designers, quilters and

LIVE JAZZ ON THE PATIO Mojo Sessions. Bernardo Winery, Tasting Room Patio, 13330 Paseo Del Verano Norte, San Diego. Free. bernardowinery.com.

WOW: FIRST WEDNESDAYS: SEMISI AND FULABULA Hailing from the South Pacific islands of Tonga, San Diego-based musician Semisi Ma’u mixes Polynesian rhythms with other musical styles to create “Bula Music.” His sons, Keli Ross-Ma’u, on steel drums and keyboard, and multi-instrumentalist Tonga Ma’u make up FulaBula. California Center for the Arts, Escondido, Center Theater, 340 N. Escondido Blvd., Escondido. Free. $12. (800) 988-4253. artcenter.org.

fish. Prepare for cool, wet conditions and bring a flashlight. Scripps Institution of Oceanography, 8622 Kennel Way, La Jolla. Also June 6 $14-$16. (858) 534-7336. aquarium.ucsd.edu.

THURSDAY, JUNE 4 HERB ALPERT AND LANI HALL Performing together since 2006, each half of this husband-and-wife duo brings an impressive musical background to the table. Alpert’s accomplishments include five number one hits, 28 albums on the Billboard charts and eight Grammys, while Hall is a Grammywinning vocalist who was the original lead singer for Sérgio Mendes’ Brasil ‘66. Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Through June 6. $35-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org. FRIDAY, JUNE 5 SAN DIEGO COUNTY FAIR This year’s theme, “A Fair to Remember,” commemorates the centennial anniversary of the 1915 Panama-California Exposition held in Balboa Park, and the great traditions and inventions arising from fairs. Did you know the bicycle, telephone, ice cream cone, Ferris Wheel, and air conditioning were all introduced at a World’s Fair? Favorite rides, food, exhibits, contests and entertainment. Del Mar Fairgrounds, I-5 at Via de la Valle, Del Mar. Through July 5. Closed Mondays. $8-$15. (858) 755-1161. sdfair.com/fair.

EIFMAN BALLET OF ST. PETERSBURG: UP AND DOWN Placed on the French Riviera during the dazzling 1920s to the music of George Gershwin, Arnold Schoenberg, Franz Schubert and Alban Berg, this ballet depicts young love that is destroyed by the deep psychological complications between a woman and a man. Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Segerstrom Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Also June 6-7. $29-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org. SATURDAY, JUNE 6 COUNTRY LIVE! Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. $15. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org. SUNDAY, JUNE 7 LIVE JAZZ ON THE PATIO Chini and Camberos. Bernardo Winery, Tasting Room Patio, 13330 Paseo Del Verano Norte, San Diego. Free. bernardowinery.com. WEDNESDAY, JUNE 10 PETER FRAMPTON AND CHEAP TRICK Classic rock performers appear at the San Diego County Fair. This year’s theme, “A Fair to Remember,” commemorates the centennial anniversary of the 1915 Panama-California Exposition held in Balboa Park, and the great traditions and inventions arising from fairs. Del Mar Fairgrounds, I-5 at Via de la Valle, Del Mar. $10-$74 plus fair admission of $8-$15. (858) 755-1161. sdfair.com/fair. THURSDAY, JUNE 11

SATURDAY, MAY 30

WHOSE LIVE ANYWAY?

Enjoy this unique opportunity to experience the Emmy-nominated “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” in a live format. The cast includes fan favorites, Ryan Stiles, Greg Proops, Jeff B. Davis and Joel Murray from “Mad Men.” California Center for the Arts, Escondido @ The Center Theater, 340 N. Escondido Blvd., Escondido. $25-$65. (800) 988-4253. artcenter.org.

34 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

GRUNION RUN Observe hundreds of small silver fish called grunion ride the waves onto La Jolla beaches to spawn. Before hitting the beach, see grunion hatch before your eyes during a special presentation about this mysterious

FIRE AND WATER Carl St. Clair, conductor; Deborah Voigt, soprano; Benjamin Smolen, flute. A multi-faceted, multimedia exploration of the elements, cinematographer Gregory MacGillivray debuts a stunning video to accompany a newly commissioned piece celebrating the oceans. Then, behold the power of Brünnhilde’s immolation scene through the music of Richard Wagner. Segerstrom Center for the Arts, Renée and


CALeNDAR

May/June 2015 San Diego/Orange County/Inland Empire Henry Segerstrom Concert Hall, 600 Town Center Dr., Costa Mesa. Through June 13. $25-plus. (714) 556-2787. scfta.org. DAD’S SPORTS BAR Happy hour mocktail social. San Dimas Community Center, 245 E. Bonita Ave., San Dimas. $8. (909) 394-6290. JAZZ AT THE MERC Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. $15. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org. FRIDAY, JUNE 12 WEST SIDE STORY A fresh and rousing production of this American musical retelling of “Romeo and Juliet.” Filled with classic numbers like “Tonight,” “I Feel Pretty,” “Somewhere,” “America” and “Maria.” Lamb’s Players Theatre, 1142 Orange Ave., Coronado. $22plus. Through July 26. (619) 437-6000. lambsplayers.org. SATURDAY, JUNE 13 CELEBRITY READINGS: In conjunction with its “Ingenious! The World of Dr. Seuss” exhibition in Balboa Park, local celebrities read from their favorite Dr. Seuss books. San Diego History Center, Casa De Balboa, Balboa Park, 1649 El Prado, San Diego. $6-$8. (619) 232- 6203. sandiegohistory.org. SPEAKEASY AT THE MERC Live traditional jazz of the ‘20s, ‘30s and ‘40s. Performances feature Second Hand Jazz with vocalist Rosalie Porter, in rotation with prominent southern California traditional jazz artists. Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. $12-$15. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org. SUNDAY, JUNE 14

FRED TOMASELLI: THE TIMES This exhibit highlights Tomaselli’s recent and extensive body of work adapting cover photos of The New York Times daily papers, echoing the absurdity of endless news cycles and occasionally commenting on the stories’ contents. In addition, the display offers a selection of Tomaselli’s collage and resin paintings that capture the extreme attention to detail for which the artist is renowned. The resin paintings helped Tomaselli establish an international reputation for his meticulously detailed, beautiful and mesmerizing works that bridge abstract and figurative art. Orange County Museum of Art, 850 San Clemente Dr., Newport Beach. Wed.-Sun. through May 24. $10. (949) 7591-1122. ocma.net. WHERE ENDS MEET A Retrospective of Works by Nancy Ravenhall Johnson. This exhibition is about ingenuity and artistic inspiration. It reveals a journey that threads through a graphic designer’s career. Johnson’s works represent many hours of research vested in technical learning, developing graphics and timelines and overseeing their production. Bowers Museum, 2002 N. Main St., Santa Ana. Through June 30. $12. (714) 567-3679. bowers.org. ALIEN SHE The first exhibition to highlight the lasting impact of the pioneering punk feminist movement Riot Grrrl focuses on seven contemporary artists working in a wide range of disciplines, including visual art, music, documentary film, new media, writing and performance. With approximately 900 historical and contemporary objects, this exhibition includes sculptures, photographs, videos, artist publications and drawings, as well as self-published zines and handdesigned posters from institutions and private archives worldwide. Orange County Museum of Art, 850 San Clemente Dr., Newport Beach. Wed.-Sun. through May 24. $10. (949) 7591-1122. ocma.net.

student, Alice Klauber, who lived in San Diego. This small and choice exhibition consists of a dozen outstanding examples of Henri’s work in California and brings together a number of Henri’s works produced during his sojourns in San Diego and Los Angeles. Laguna Art Museum, Segerstrom Gallery, 307 Cliff Dr., Laguna Beach. Through May 31. Closed Wednesdays. $5-$7. (949) 494-8971. lagunaartmuseum.org. SEVEN BILLION OTHERS This ground breaking, multimedia exhibition, brings voices and compelling video portraits from more than 6,000 individual interviews filmed in 84 countries by nearly 20 directors. The 30-week presentation will allow visitors to identify what separates and unites us by giving direct access to individuals as diverse as a Brazilian fisherman, a Chinese shopkeeper, a German performer and an Afghan farmer. These interviews touch on our most visceral emotions and pose many thought-provoking questions and answers that speak to the human condition. Museum of Photographic Arts, Balboa Park, 1649 El Prado, San Diego. Through Sept. 13. $7-$8. (619) 238-7559. mopa.org. CIRCLE OF ANIMALS/ ZODIAC HEAD: GOLD This exhibition features a group of sculptures by internationally acclaimed contemporary Chinese artist Ai Weiwei. The installation consists of 12 gilded bronze animal heads — rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep, monkey, rooster, dog and pig - that are each a representative symbol from the ancient Chinese zodiac. Weiwei’s work extends

beyond the visual statement and reaches into history. These sculptures were based on the zodiac heads originally located at the Imperial retreat Yuanming Yuan (Old Summer Palace) just outside of Beijing, where they adorned the famed fountain-clock. Palm Springs Art Museum, 101 Museum Dr., Palm Springs. Through May 31. $11-$13. 760-322-4800. psmuseum.org. INGENIOUS! THE WORLD OF DR. SEUSS The highly popular traveling Dr. Seuss exhibition includes signature elements for the Balboa Park Centennial, emphasizing San Diego as the renowned author’s home and Theodor Geisel as the world’s most celebrated children’s author and an innovator. The lively and whimsical exhibition features rare early works, ephemera, illustration and editorial cartoons, as well as two newly released Geisel illustrations. The Seuss-land gallery features giant bronze Seuss character sculptures, anchoring interactive family activities that emphasize the important themes and innovative nature of Seuss books. San Diego History Center, Casa De Balboa, Balboa Park, 1649 El Prado, San Diego. Through Dec. 31. $6-$8. (619) 232- 6203. sandiegohistory.org.

Get the Word Out. E-mail your announcements to Claire Fadden, cfadden@lifeafter50.com. Include a brief description, location, date, time, cost, phone and website. Submission does not guarantee publication. Deadline for the June/July calendar is May 1.

CLASSICS AT THE MERC Christa Stevens, soprano; Ed Yarnell, piano. Chamber performances by the region’s best professional musicians. Old Town Temecula Community Theater, The Merc, 42051 Main St., Temecula. Sundays. $12. (866) 653-8696. temeculatheater.org.

eXHIBItIONs EYE ON DESIGN Andrea Zittel’s Aggregated Stacks. This exhibition combines commissioned original works by internationally known high desert artist and Joshua Tree resident Andrea Zittel, along with objects from the museum’s permanent collection. The stacks serve both as wall-mounted reliefs, and as freestanding sculptures, creating complex compositions of integrated boxes that deconstruct the modernist grid by being simultaneously random in their arrangements, yet ordered by their inherent geometry. Palm Springs Art Museum, Architecture and Design Center, Edwards Harris Pavilion, 101 Museum Dr., Palm Springs. Through July 12. $11-$13. (760) 322-4800. psmuseum.org.

CALIFORNIA This Golden Land of Promise. An exhibition of paintings showcasing California’s remarkable history. Many of the paintings feature historic Spanish missions as well as beautiful landscapes. The Irvine Museum, 18881 Von Karman Ave., Ground Floor, Irvine. Tues-Sat. through May 21. (949) 476-2565. irvinemuseum.org. ROBERT HENRI’S CALIFORNIA Realism, Race and Region, 1914-1925. The legendary American painter Robert Henri made his first plans to visit California just over a century ago. “Westward Ho!” he exclaimed in 1914 in a letter to his former

TUESDAY, JUNE 9

MOTOWN THE MUSICAL

It began as one man’s story and became everyone’s music. Motown shattered barriers, shaped lives and made everyone move to the same beat. This musical shares the true American dream story of Motown founder Berry Gordy’s journey from featherweight boxer to the heavyweight music mogul. Gordy launched the careers of Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Smokey Robinson, the Temptations and other recording artists. San Diego Civic Theatre, Third and B St., 1100 Third Ave., downtown San Diego. Through June 14. Prices vary. (619) 570-1100. broadwaysd.com.

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 35


36 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015


Rick Steves’ Travels By Rick Steves

T

here was a time when cruising was a luxury reserved for the rich. The goal of a cruise was not travel, but hedonism: See if you can eat five meals a day topped off with a midnight buffet. But these days, there’s a cruise ship for just about every kind of traveler and the thriving cruise industry is catering to low-budget travelers as well as the high rollers. While I have always been of the belief that travelers in search of engaging and enlightening experiences should eat, sleep and explore terra firma, I am certainly aware that cruising is more popular than ever and, for many, it’s a great choice. Cruises let travelers efficiently visit several dynamically different destinations in a single week without wasting valuable hours packing, hauling bags to the station, and sitting on a train or plane. Short of sleeping on a park bench, there is no more affordable way to see Europe than cruising. On the least-expensive cruises, people can travel for less than $100 per night. Though cruising is an affordable vacation, extra expenses, such as alcohol, Internet access, spa treatments, casino games, and photos, can add up quickly. Passengers can easily rack up bills that exceed the original cost of the trip. To

avoid surprises, check your balance at the front desk every few days. To keep your bill from bloating, I recommend you buy as little as possible while on board, as things are usually more expensive on your ship than on land. To check e-mail, find a hotspot in port rather than on board. For souvenirs, do your shopping in port (ideally away from the main tourist areas) rather than on the ship. One of the biggest optional expenses on a cruise is shore excursions. Though these can make sightseeing easy and efficient, saving you the time and hassle of figuring out how to get into town on your own, in some places they may not be worth the expense. In some areas cruise ports are close to town and pubic transportation is available. In Barcelona, for example, a cheap shuttle bus goes directly from the port to the bottom of the Ramblas, the lively pedestrian drag that runs through the heart of the Old City. In Venice, an express boat zips passengers straight from port to St. Mark’s Square in 20 minutes – or you can walk in about an hour. Excursions, of course, can also be a great way to see sights in a safe and efficient way. Certain sights, such as the ancient Roman ruins of Ephesus in Turkey, involve a complicated journey by

public transit. An excursion takes care of transportation and comes with a knowledgeable local guide who can really bring the ruins to life. When it comes to all that on-board dining, remember, not all food is included in your cruise fare. Many ships have “specialty” steakhouse or sushi restaurants that cost extra. Skip these restaurants in favor of the main dining room, where the food is typically good and included. Because alcohol, name-brand soft drinks, and specialty coffee drinks all cost extra, beverage tabs can rise quickly. Instead of Diet Coke, opt for iced tea or juice, which is usually included. Some cruise lines ban passengers from bringing alcohol on board, but some allow limited bottles of wine and beer. Before you set sail, find out your cruise line’s policy on taking alcohol aboard. You don’t have to avoid extras entirely. After all, you’re on vacation. As long as you keep your spending under control, a cruise can still be one of the most cost-effective ways to see the world.

Rick St eveS’ t Ravel

Cruising on a budget

Rick Steve writes European travel guidebooks and hosts travel shows on public television and radio. You can e-mail him at rick@ricksteves. com and visit his website at www.ricksteves.com.

May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 37


T Ravel MaRkeT p lace | Guide

TRavel Marketplace G u i D e

California

THE LODGE AT LAKE TAHOE Our centrally located resort boasts studio-to-two bedroom condominiums that provide the comforts of home. Our on-site resort amenities serve as the premier way to enjoy South Lake Tahoe.

866.469.8222 or visit www.8664myvacation.com

Colorado

COLORADO TRAILS RANCH — What you need is a week unwinding and exploring the wonders of our first class guest ranch. Colorado Trails Ranch is not far from Durango, in lovely Southwest Colorado. Set in the spectacular panoramas of the San

Juan Mountains, our dude ranch resort offers lifetime experiences for singles, groups and entire families. There isn’t one difficult activity in our perfectly personalized programs. The food is delicious, the comfort is wonderful and you’ll feel like a well cared member of the family.

800.323.3833 or www.ColoradoTrails.com

Hawaii

Call 800.367.5242 or book online at crhmaui.com!

Horseback Riding Fly Fishing River Rafting Western Dancing Campfire Cookouts

Ask About Our Discount Weeks!

(800) 323-3833 www.ColoradoTrails.com

I $1,599* N from visit our A website to see more options

Ask for current promotions Featured tours include: 6 Day Touch of Japan Escapade I Experience

N D $2,199* I from visit our A website to see more options

Ask for current promotions Featured tours include: 13 Day Argentina J & Brazil Gold A or Silver

P A from $3,599* visit our N website to see more options

S O U T H A M E R I C A

* Air-inclusive & land-only prices are based on per person, double occupancy (int’l air LAX/SFO departure - add $200 for JFK; India JFK only - ask about other gateways. Fuel surcharges, taxes and fees included in air-inclusive prices). Featured discounts cannot be combined with any other promotion or discount and apply to new bookings only. Above packages are land-only. For complete list of terms & conditions, please visit www.pacificdelighttours. com. CST 2098539-20

www.pacificdelighttours.com or www.pdttours.com (800) 221-7179

1 LIFEAFTER50.COM FEbRuARy 2015 38 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

Call 800.367.6036 or www.hphresort.com/50

International

SuNRIVER ST.GEORGE is southern Utah’s premier master-planned resortstyle living community. Built in an unspoiled, rural location, SunRiver St.George provides a quiet, superbly planned community with occupancy limited to at least one resident 55 or better. From the golf course layout

A first-class dude ranch in themountains outside of Durango.

Ask for current promotions Featured tours include: 9 Day Dreams of the Taj C Escapade H Experience

and community center design to the floor plans of our sensational SunRiver St. George homes, the resort-style living lifestyle is our central point of focus. SunRiver St.George is “building a lifestyle, not just homes.”

Utah

MAuI & KAuAI CONDOS — Save 15% Apr. 1– Dec. 20, on Maui or Kauai vacation condos (Promo MS15). Enjoy more privacy, value, and fabulous beach locations. Car/ condo deals, romantic getaways, and family/group discounts.

A WESTERN ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME!

Ask for current promotions Featured tours include: 12 Day Imperial China & Yangtze River Gold Experience from $3,349* visit our website to see more options Featuring Ritz-Carlton & Shangri-La Hotels in most major cities

HALE PAu HANA BEACH RESORT – A vacation paradise on Maui! Located on Kamaole Beach II in South Maui, each of their 1- or 2-bedroom condominiums is beachfront with unobstructed ocean views, plus free wireless internet, parking and NO resort fees. Book your dream Maui vacation today!

888.688.6556 or www.SunRiver.com

PACIFIC DELIGHT TOuRS — Air inclusive China Tours from $2,599*. Explore all of our Asia destinations: China, Hong Kong, Singapore, Japan, Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Myanmar, Indonesia, and India.

For more information: Call 800.221.7179 or visit www.PacificDelightTours.com


May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 39


Uni t ed Stat eS of diScovery

The Mauna Lani Bay Hotel and Bungalows is a volcanic Eden nestled on the Kohala Coast

Paradisiacal Pampering Rejuvenating the body, mind and soul Hawaiian style Compiled by Max Andrews | Photos courtesy of respective resorts

F

ew places on Earth have the power, through their tropical climate and aesthetic beauty, to relax the mind, rejuvenate the body and nourish the soul like the islands of Hawaii. While the simple act of strolling a Hawaiian beach, gazing out at the state’s abundant ethereal beauty, and allowing the warm winds and water to caress you can bring about a euphoric state, even the island’s magical powers can be enhanced with a rejuvenating spa treatment. With an ever-increasing focus on health and wellness, blended with age-old Hawaiian traditions, the Aloha State is rich with spa professionals who offer body and mind balance through traditional spa treatments as well as specialized hula massages, lava saunas and kahuna chants. Amongst the most popular spas to be found in Hawaii are:

Kahala Mandarin Oriental, Honolulu, Oahu With five suites offering indoor and outdoor showers, daybeds and infinity tubs that fill from cascading waterfalls, you will find paradise upon handmade Hawaiian quilts that cover massage tables. An aromatherapy facial is one of the specialties here along with a renowned yoga class. (800) 367-2525 www.mandarinoriental.com

Halekulani, Honolulu, Oahu This spa has become well-known for its Tongan-, Samoan-, and Tahitian-inspired treatments, which incorporate bamboo puili sticks, similar to those used in hula. Among the most requested treatments are the Polynesian steam therapy that claims to do wonders for the jet-lagged and the Polynesian Nonu massage that uses lomilomi and hot stones with a

40 LIFEAFTER50.COM May 2015

cool aloe-like nonu gel. The spa’s seven treatment suites include steam showers and the couple’s suite has a deep furo tub. (800) 367-2343 www.halekulani.com

Mauna Lani Bay Hotel and Bungalows, Kohala Coast, Big Island This volcanic Eden nestled on the Kohala Coast offers outdoor showers, saunas, pool and treatment areas. Amongst the spa area’s fragrant tropical flora, one of their most popular offerings is a two-hour fire and ice facial, which uses hot and cold stones and Eminence products. (800) 367-2323 www.maunalani.com

Four Seasons Hualalai, Kohala Coast, Big Island

and a lava-bordered “basking whirlpool” as its centerpieces. The nine treatment suites have soaking tubs and showers. The treatment menu emphasizes traditional healing and native plants such as ‘awa (kava) and spirulina wraps, which are applied with a silk brush. (800) 321-4262 www.hotelhanamaui.com

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel and Spa, Wailea, Maui This palatial spa offers 40 treatment rooms and has been called a monument to hydrotherapy due to its 35-foot Jacuzzi, steam room and sauna, Japanese furo baths, waterfall massages, Swiss showers, and specialty baths enhanced with Moor mud, limu seaweed, tropical enzymes, Hawaiian botanicals, and mineral salts. (800) 888-6100 www.grandwailea.com

Along with state-ofthe–art fitness offerings, this resort offers an acupuncturist, physical therapist and exercise physiologist. With indoor and outdoor spa areas, skilled therapists offer authentic treatments such as the Hawaiian wahi ‘iliahi wrap, a cooling treatment with sandalwood powder and lemongrass tea. This Asian-inspired spa also offers an outdoor lava shower that should not be missed. (800) 332-3442 www.fourseasons.com

Hotel Hana-Maui, Hana, Maui This is a sophisticated spa situated on an acre of gardens with an ancient kukui tree

Four Seasons Maui at Wailea, Maui Catering to the tobe-wed and newlywed, this spa offers a wailea cocoon experience for two that is done in the most luxurious of the 13 indoor treatment rooms. This treatment includes a loofah scrub with coconut gel, a bath, and a cocoon wrap in a warm dry-float bed with a neck-and-shoulder massage. They also offer a back walk massage which is a very intense Thai-shiatsu hybrid done with the feet. Don’t miss the three oceanside massage hale on the opposite side of the property from the spa. (800) 334-6284 www.fourseasons.com


May 2015 LIFEAFTER50.COM 41


And Finally... The Bookworm’s Best A Life After 50 book review

by Terri “The Bookworm” Schlichenmeyer

The Age of Dignity By Ai-Jen Poo with Ariane Conrad

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he plates you ate from years ago are still stacked neatly in the cupboard. Below them, instruments of love: cookbooks propped up by a battered mixing bowl, an ancient percolator, and a cookie jar that’s filled, as it should be. Those are scraps of your childhood, but to your mother they represent home – and you’re hoping, as she ages, that you can keep her there. In “The Age of Dignity” by Ai-Jen Poo with Ariane Conrad, you may find the strength to do it. As her beloved grandfather lay dying in a nursing home, Ai-Jen Poo felt tremendous guilt. He’d been a vibrant, active man who hadn’t wanted that kind of death – but it’s what he got, much to the chagrin of his family. “The great majority of us want to live and age at home,” Poo says, and most want to be there as long as possible. So why do we treat getting older as “a crisis” – an expensive one, at that – by putting our elders in care facilities they don’t want? Part of the issue, she notes, is a rising population: 100 years ago, one-in-25 Americans was over 65. Five years from now, that number will be one-in-six, and over a million elders will be without family to care for them. “These are,” says Poo, “astonishing statistics.” But along with a rising population, we lack enough gerontologists and home healthcare workers; the former, because it “isn’t profitable;” the latter, because it’s a job with “innumerable challenges, among them low wages… and inadequate training.” Still, says Poo: “Taking full responsibility for the care of an aging relative is… not necessarily a real option….” That can leave children and spouses frustrated and trapped – especially if they’re women, upon whom the burden traditionally falls. What can be done, she believes, is to change our attitudes toward immigration; two-thirds of childcare and eldercare workers are foreign-born; “half of them are undocumented.” Embracing the Village Movement can help, as can investing in “The Care Grid” and utilizing technology where appropriate. But first, it all starts “with respectful communication in our own homes.” “The Age of Dignity” is a unique take on an issue that, if you haven’t yet faced, you’ll likely face soon enough. It’s filled with anecdotal evidence of success and other ideas that may prove viable, but this book is not without its controversy. Through the use of dozens of stories, Poo advocates keeping elders at home as long as possible – something few of us can argue against. The quarrel may be in the idea of employing, among others, undocumented immigrants, and in the creative rearranging of government dollars – neither of which are popular topics in some circles. Even so, no matter where you stand on the greater issues, this book is a starter for conversations that are long overdue. If you are someone’s child, a spouse, or concerned about your own future, “The Age of Dignity” will give you food for thought. “The Age of Dignity” by Ai-Jen Poo with Ariane Conrad, 2015, The New Press, $25.95, 230 pages The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer who lives on a hill with two dogs and more than 12,000 books. You can contact Terri at bookwormsez@yahoo.com and read more of her book reviews at www.lifeafter50.com. Just click on “Entertainment” and then “Book Reviews.”

A Look Back

I

f you were a regular Top 40 radio listener 50 years ago this month, one of the songs you were listening to was “Help Me, Rhonda” by The Beach Boys. While everyone over 50 knows that song, few know there were actually two versions recorded – “Help Me, Ronda” and “Help Me, Rhonda.” Both written by Brian Wilson and Mike Love, the song was originally recorded as “Help Me, Ronda” in January of 1965 and released on “The Beach Boys Today!” album. Wilson had considered the song only an album cut, and was surprised when radio stations began to give it airplay. As the song continued to gain popularity with radio station program directors, Wilson realized they had a hit on their hands and quickly reworked its arrangement for a single release. The second version, “Help Me, Rhonda,” like the first one, features Al Jardine on lead vocals, but has a slightly quicker tempo. It also features a changed lyric, “ruined our plans” from the previous version was changed to “shattered our plans.” The single version was released on April 5, 1965 and by the end of May, had hit the top spot on Billboard’s Hot 100.

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Just A Thought Before We Go

“Most of all the other beautiful things in life come by twos and threes – by dozens and hundreds. Plenty of roses, stars, sunsets, rainbows, brothers, sisters, aunts, cousins,comrades and friends – but only one mother. – Kate Douglas Wiggin



44 LIFEAFTER50.COM February 2015


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