Starting a Family by Jewitte Dooley and Lori Samples Duncan
W
e had the chance to talk with Jewitte Dooley, an attorney who helps other families adopt, about starting the process herself. photo by Clark Berry Photography
LW: Tell us if you will a little about why you and your husband made the decision to adopt? Jewitte: We have discussed adoption for years, even when we were dating. For years, adoption has been an abstract desire that we considered when discussing our future. Within the past year, that abstract idea has become a reality. Our original plan was to have a biological child and then consider adopting, but God had other plans and after much prayer we took the leap of faith. We researched our options for domestic infant adoption in South Carolina and chose to proceed with Bethany Christian Services. They have an experienced staff and wonderful training and support for adoptive families. We felt like this agency was the best fit for our family and where God was leading us. LW: Share with us as an attorney who deals with adoption what you know to expect in this process. Jewitte: Adoption law in South Carolina is focused on the best interest of the child, as almost all agree it should be. Before a child is placed with prospective adoptive parents, a preplacement investigation, more commonly called a home study, must be completed. We have completed this step of the legal process; therefore, we are officially waiting and approved for placement of a child. As an attorney practicing family and adoption law, I understand there are legal risks associated
with adoption; however I strongly believe that the joy of adoption outweighs any risk involved. We will use my experience and knowledge of the South Carolina Adoption Act to weigh each situation that is presented to us and determine what is right for our family. LW: What are your hopes as far as a date by which you think you will have a baby? Jewitte: The average wait with Bethany Christian Services is one year. If it was up to us we would be placed tomorrow; however, we are realistic and know that it could take a while. We are excited about the journey we are on and find much peace in knowing that God already has a plan in place for our family. In the interim we are enjoying preparing our home and sharing the good news with friends and family. LW: I know a lot of this process is emotional- can you tell us about that aspect of things. Jewitte: The adoption process is emotional for all the parties involved. Initially, there is the anxiety behind getting approved and completing all the necessary items to be considered as an adoptive parent. After that, the waiting game begins. Waves of anticipation, frustration and impatience clash making it one heck of a ride. We are fortunate to know many people who have adopted recently and many years ago who we can call on for encouragement and support.
We are only a couple of months into the process and have only officially been waiting for a few weeks, so I can’t say that we fully understand how hard this next year could be while we wait. As mentioned earlier, we have found that by focusing on the fact that there already is a plan for our family, it helps to calm these emotions and really brings peace to the situation. LW: I was moved when we spoke about your plans to adopt and you explained to me that it was something you had always wanted to do, can you elaborate a little on why you feel your heart is so open to the adoption process. Jewitte: To some people, adoption is plan B, but to me it was not. I have always wanted to adopt a child. I can’t remember when I actually verbalized my desire to anyone, but I know it has always been there. Although, I would be fibbing if I told you I didn’t also have the same desire to have biological children. To me it wasn’t a choice between adoption or pregnancy, I wanted both. I truly believe they are each individually unique and special. Despite the fact these options are very different, the end result is the same- the building of a family. LW: What do you feel is different today in adoption than ten years ago? Jewitte: Confidentially in adoption has evolved allowing more openness in adoption. Years ago, birth parents
We are excited about the journey we are on... had little to no contact with the adoptive family or the child once the child was placed in the home, and even more rarely did the birth parents have visits with the child. Today there is much more communication and Bethany Christian Services calls this “openness.” Openness is the scale of contact and communication between the birth family and the adoptive family. This can range from pictures, to letters, to emails, phone calls, and even visits. Some of the communication is directly between the families, and sometimes the adoption agency is used as a facilitator. LW: Is there anything else you would like to add or share with us or our readers about this process. Jewitte: There is a tremendous need for adoptions in our state, whether its through adoption agencies or through the Department of Social Services or otherwise. As a result, there are considerable federal and state tax incentives which can be coupled with employer adoption benefits and grants to make adoption more affordable than often rumored. www.lexingtonwomanonline.com
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