Professional
Stilettos to Sneakers: THE DOUBLE LIFE OF A WORKING MOM
by Raven Yonemura
I
t’s Wednesday morning and I wake up to my 11 month old son testing the sound barrier by yelling, “MaMa”. I immediately feel regret as I look at the clock realizing that I have failed, yet again, at getting up “early” to start my day. In my ideal world, the mornings hold enough time for a brisk walk followed by breakfast and a few spare minutes of playtime with my son, Nolan. Too bad I have never actually been able to bring this “ideal world” to reality. I continue to deny the fact that I am not a natural morning person. After a quick shower I get both myself and my son ready for the day, by this time my husband has already made his 45 minute drive to work and likely taken at least two meetings. On the morning commute to work, I again find myself trying to figure out how we got to a world where the average cost of keeping one infant in a child-care center is greater than tuition at public college. I arrive at work hit my desk and get into gear. Before I know it, I’m swept up into the familiar sea of phone, email, meetings, and deadlines that will continue until I notice the time and dash out to pick up my son at daycare. I enjoy the work I do and my near decade of experience in corporate marketing and advertising has taught me to really choose the work I’m passionate about. So when
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Celebrating, Motivating and Educating
I was presented the opportunity to help launch and market Columbia’s first green hotel I jumped in full force ready for the challenge of being both Career Woman and Supermom. But, I can’t deny that there is a difference in who I am now and how I work to balance all the vari-
The reality of this double life is that I’m neither of those people I pretend to be. I’m so much more… ous roles in my life. Pre-mommy, I was a die-hard office late-nighter, often bragging that I got my best work done after most people went home and appreciated a tight deadline. Now, the close of the workday is tough, since there always seem to be a few more things I could accomplish to get myself into position for a better morning the next day. I swear
Real
Women
Raven and Nolan the clock moves at an insane pace as I make every attempt to wrap the day up nice and neat both for my clients and myself. Leaving work brings me back to my other role, that employee’s alter ego, Supermom. She is armed with a calendar of playdates, the latest research on child development and, of course, advice on everything from starting table food to choosing the safest car seat on the market. She takes the occasional sick-day with her child (cell phone on and emails mounting) and spends more time that she would like to admit wondering if the stay-at-home moms feel as overwhelmed as she does at times. The reality of this double life is that I’m neither of those people I pretend to be. I’m so much more…a wife, a mother, a colleague, a best friend. I love being a mom and I love having a career with an outlet for adult interaction, so why all the pretending? It comes down to pressure: mostly the kind we put on ourselves. Tell me you can’t have a successful career and be a good mom, and I’ll go to whatever lengths it takes to prove
you wrong. Who I am in reality falls somewhere between the roles I play each day. The real me actually straddles many worlds; coming late to important meetings because the pediatrician finally called about Nolan’s cough or calling in to work on a Saturday because I need to make sure that one department is aware of a change a client has requested within another department. The price of this crazy ruse is the quarterly “breakdown,” as my husband and I have come to call it. That’s where I question everything, starting with my hairstyle and working down the list. There are usually tears and lots of reminders that what makes me truly happy is having the love of my family along with the gratification I get from career successes. The breakdown feels good, and is almost refreshingly necessary for me. I take a deep breath, re-set the alarm and prepare to jump back into my double-agent life the next day. Raven Yonemura is Director of Marketing for Holiday Inn Hotel & Suites Columbia-Airport. You can learn more about them at www.holidayinn.com/ westcolumbia or see their ad on page 5.