How to Get a Male Dance Partner

Strategies for getting a male dance partner Social dancing If you simply want to dance with men socially, then it helps to engage with everyone in a friendly manner. If you frequent a regular place where you dance and others are regulars too, then strike up a conversation with different people (especially men). They will get to know you, feel comfortable with you, and then be more likely to ask you to dance. Just as an example - while writing this I have realised that I dance mostly with women I know from dance class, without thinking about, it simply because I know them.

For competition If you want to find a partner for a dance comp, then it's a bit different. You can always go to websites like dancepartner.com, but that will still have the gender imbalance. Therefore, you're better off searching for men who have not yet declared their intention for comp. So let's look at this untapped source.

Remember, it will always help to know people so that you have more connections, and you can network.

For this approach you will need to overcome male hesitation about dance competitions.

Remember the following: men don't like to drag a woman down with less skill and men don't want to make bold claims they can't be certain about backing up. This means that a man is very unlikely to express a direct interest in competition dancing even if he is interested. Also, remember the following: men love compliments from women and they would rather give to women than take from them. That means if they are sure a woman would value what they have to offer, then they would probably commit. So you basically need a man who does not yet feel he is up to dancing competitively (with you or anyone) and then make him think he is.

The easiest way to do that is to ask, but ask in the right way. If you ask him, then the man can now safely assume that you are either happy with his ability to dance or ability to improve to the required level with practice. This now means he will not think he is taking from you. Also, the fact that you asked means he has been complimented so the notion of dancing with you has positive ego boosting connotations. Additionally, you offer social proof, if someone has asked him to dance, then they have given unsolicited and independent approval of his dance ability. Therefore, he is not making any unsubstantiated bold claims.

So you can see that you asking him does do a lot to reduce the hesitation in a man when it comes to competitive dance, but how to ask?

It's assumed that you know a number of men who you think would be up to the challenge in your dancing network. Pick one (this can be tried on a few guys and letting them know that another guy might jump in first might motivate them) and just start talking about the notion of competition dancing. Then simply ask if he would like to try dance with you in a competition. The important word here is 'try'. It suggests that it is something that is to be investigated by trying, and you're not going to be a control freak. No one (well few of us) likes to be completely controlled by another in