November 2011 - Le Nurb
COFFEE BREAK 23
Mensa Corner
Horoscopes
7
6 5 24
4
29 28
3 26
30
27
2
32
15
B
LEO (July 23-August 22)
You will mistake pasta sauce for your deodorant this week. Try not to move too vigorously or you may begin to give off an Italian vibe.
VIRGO (August 23-September 21)
Two wrongs do not make a right. They just mean that you will have to take a longer turn being punished by Tickler Jim, who likes feet.
LIBRA (September 22-October 22)
Temptation looms high over the agenda today as you suddenly notice that your colleague has rather a nice bottom and appears to make you need to stare at it. You should be wary. They have quite a slap on them.
SCORPIO (October 23-November 21)
A thought hits you. After this, you’ll be overcome with joy. Trees sing, birds sway. The world will seem like your oyster and children will pick posies especially for you. You have found your one true love – yourself. You’re the best you could get.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21)
You will be plagued by people in a good mood. Stay miserable. It will help when the Rapture comes.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 20)
Never call anyone ‘babes’. Or I will make you find all the members of the boy band Blue and sleep with them.
AQUARIUS (January 21-February 19)
Do not put all of your eggs in one basket. Leave them in the carton the supermarket provides. That is common sense.
PISCES (February 20-March 20)
On Wednesday, a storm will carry you off to a magical land. You will meet three friends and battle against a witch, only to be told by a wizard that your shoes can get you home again. After this you will vow never to do acid again.
13
14
STEP TWO Colour-by-letters, using the key below. Difficulty: 55555
A
Being an astrologist is cool. Like, well cool. The number I am thinking of is twelve. This isn’t the number you are thinking of, especially if you aren’t thinking of a number.
12 18
17
CANCER (June 22-July 22)
11
19
33
16
Some people may look down on you for your dirty habits. These people are prudes, though. The office kitchen bin is the only one big enough for you to empty the hair trap from your shower anyway.
20
34 1
GEMINI (May 22-June 21)
10
31
C
You will be fine until suddenly you are not.
9
21
B
25
TAURUS (April 21-May 21)
8
A
22
23
With the wedding dial at an all-time low and the polite banter on a middling scale it seems that pretty girl only wants a chat. It’s not me, it’s the dials.
ARIES (March 21-April 20)
STEP ONE Join the dots, from 1 to 34. Difficulty: 55555
C
PLAY AND WIN! First correct submission sent to the Editor wins their choice of prize from the Nurb Stash - either: one free copy of Le Nurb, OR
one mango, OR
one tin of pineapple chunks. Closing date: Nov 30. No prize substitutes. Maximum 100 entries/person.
Solutions One of these photos shows Boris Johnson looking happy and playing a guitar. The other shows a pizza.
Numberdrums
4. (4 x 45) + (2 x 78) - (7 - 1) = 330.
Wordfinder
Beginner Sudoku
3. (65 - 20) x 1 + 16 + 6 - 5 = 62. 2. (85 x 5) + 30 + 17 - (9 + 6) = 457. 1. (95 x 2) + 45 + (6 x 3) + 11 = 264.
abut, abutted, adulate, adult, baud, beau, blue, blued, butt, butte, butted, daub, debut, dual, duel, duet, laud, lube, lubed, lute, tableau, tabulate, tabulated, taut, tauted, tuba, tubae, tube, tubed.
8 3 1 7 5 9 6 2 4
6 9 4 2 3 8 1 7 5
5 2 7 6 4 1 9 8 3
2 5 3 8 9 4 7 1 6
7 4 8 3 1 6 5 9 2
1 6 9 5 7 2 3 4 8
4 8 5 1 6 7 2 3 9
3 1 2 9 8 5 4 6 7
9 7 6 4 2 3 8 5 1
Medium Sudoku
Maze of Awesome
29 godlike 23-28 excellent 17-22 good 12-16 average Ratings: lbc
Difference
Spot the Difference
8 2 4 7 3 9 1 5 6
6 3 5 8 1 4 7 9 2
1 9 7 5 6 2 4 8 3
5 7 9 1 2 3 6 4 8
4 6 8 9 5 7 2 3 1
2 1 3 4 8 6 5 7 9
3 5 1 6 7 8 9 2 4
7 4 2 3 9 1 8 6 5
9 8 6 2 4 5 3 1 7 Rubino
Due to the lack of an office this month, no hilarious quotes were overheard for the purposes of our regular lol/fail section. This feature will return next issue. Apologies for any offence caused. Recycling is not a culture, it’s a reality.