Dealing with Difficult People: Jealousy in Leadership

by Rolanda Horn, Ph.D.

Since the beginning of time, women have struggled to gain respect in the workforce. Think about it. African American women (AAW) in particular, had the responsibility of taking care of their homes and children (Horn, 2019). They did not enter the workforce until after World War II and even then, had to face hardships assuming management and professional positions (Horn, 2019). The struggle was real… contending with their White female counterparts, White men, Black men and sadly, other Black women. I say sadly because it would seem that from one Black woman to other, we would understand the ruction we have when pushing through the glass ceiling in efforts to achieve professional goals. Right? This struggle is still real. This is an issue that persists in the workforce today. And in saying so, I think it is important to have a conversation about African American women in leadership roles in the workforce and what we can do to curtail the vie of power and influence.

Here in recent years, I begin to be introduced to the concept of envy and jealous. Well not to the concepts, per se, but to their effects. Jealousy operates through the emotions and can manifest as shame, resentment, mistrust, doubt, betrayal, fear, insecurity, selfishness, and control. According to Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon, the Hebrew word for jealousy is charah (Khaw-raw), which figuratively means to blaze up, of anger, zeal, or to be angry, burn, or be displeased. It is cancerous in nature and if not dealt with, will spread like wild fire consuming everything in its path. The spirit of jealousy is responsible for destroying family relationships (ex: siblings, cousins, etc.), marriages, business deals and congregations. There are references to these examples in the Bible. Remember, Paul had to address the Church at Corinth in 1 Corinthians about the quarreling of spiritual superiority related to spirit gifts. And let’s not forget about the story of Hannah and Peninnah (1 Samuel 1:2-20). This story has many lessons, but jealous shows up when Peninnah becomes jealous of Hannah for receiving an annual double portion of meat from her husband Elkanah. Peninnah begins to taunt Hannah for inability to conceive a child.

There are several other stories in the Bible where we see jealous in action. If we go back to Genesis, we see read about the brothers Cain and Abel (Genesis 4:1-16) and later, Jacob and Esau (Genesis 25:19-34; 27:145). The most familiar is the story of Joseph (Genesis 37-50). After sharing a dream God gave him about his purpose and rise to leadership, Joseph’s brothers became jealous and sold him into slavery. The one thing that stands out to me in the story of Joseph is that he was not ambitious to seek out the role of a leader who would rule over nations. This was something that he was called to do by God. Though this is lending to an entirely separate article, it is noteworthy to mention that problem more often times than not, those who are on the receiving end of jealousy are minding their business and operating at a level that is comfortable without having to make much noise about their present or future success. However, because of the assignment, anointing or calling on their life, they become a target of the enemy. A target of jealousy. Joseph proved to be a man (leader) of character when he arose to power and did not seek revenge on his brothers.

I am aware of situations where jealousy and envious behaviors have destroyed friendships that had existed for years. As I stated earlier, I have myself been a victim of its sting. Yes, I have. Personally, I believe the spirit of jealousy has cost me opportunities of advancement in my career. So what does God say about jealousy. James 3:14-16 says, “But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

The New American Standard Bible translates the word envy to jealousy: James 3:14-16 “But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes doen from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing.”

James, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, clearly illustrates the consequences of allowing jealousy to fester in our hearts. The Apostle goes on to say that it is not wise, does not come from God, and is characterized as demonic. But should jealousy be named among Godly women who call ourselves leaders? Why do we allow the behaviors of jealous and envy to exist in the workplace? Would it not seem as if we would do all we could to support each other in our professional endeavors? The world is big enough for us all to succeed. After all, isn’t that what leadership is all about? Developing others and helping them reach their full potential? Essentially, the presence of jealousy is evidence that one refuses to embrace altruism and does not have a true understanding of serving others.

Leadership is a role that requires us to have a level of self-denial and selflessness that ultimately is beneficial to those we are serving. When we are selfless, we are able to genuinely connect and identify with others, considering their needs, wants, and desires as it relates to the overall goal and mission of the organization.

We as women of God in leadership need to put the spirit of jealousy to death. AAW have a triple threat, formerly known as double jeopardy, when you consider how race, class, and gender intersect related to career progression and advancement (Horn, 2019). African American women need to find ways to support each other with the understanding that what God has for us, is for us and the more we give in efforts to promote the growth and development of others, will in turn be a seed for our next promotion and opportunity.

Here are some things we can do to guard our hearts against jealousy:

Cultivating Character: Character is the thing that makes something/someone distinct. Its defined as the internal marking of a person that manifests itself by moral and mental qualities and beliefs. Someone, once described like this: a diamond is a diamond because of its purity. Art is art because of its uniqueness and a person is who they are because of their character. We cultivate character by submitting ourselves to God and asking Him to place His finger on the things in our hearts that offend Him and others. But, when He reveals these things to us, we need to be accepting and then willing to acknowledge their existence and consciously work on their removal from our lives relying on prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit. He says in our weakness He is made strong. He also says that if we confess our sins or faults, He is faithful and just to forgive us (1 John 1:19).

Looking at the scriptures we clearly see that the lack of gratitude, covetousness, and ability to see the blessings will breed a disposition of selfishness, greed and the mistreatment of others. If we cultivate a relationship with God that is founded in humility and gratitude, I believe that we will have the essential elements needed to guard our hearts from the spirit of jealousy.

On the other, what do we do when we are on the receiving end of jealousy? This goes back to character development. The most important thing not to do is lash out. John 14:30 says, I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me. Some translations say that he has no power over me. Lashing out and going tit for tat with someone is a sign of immaturity and gives power to them. This does not mean you not should stand up for yourself or defend yourself when appropriate. However, exercising humility and self-control shows true character and strength. C.S. Lewis said it best when he said that humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less. Humility begins with total surrender to God and His spirit (1 Peter 5:6) and a disposition of the heart that is developed from the inside out. Remember, God

resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Secondly, put the fruit of the spirit into action (Galatians 5:22-23). Kindness, which is a fruit of the spirit, goes a long way when dealing with jealous people. Treating others the way you want to be treated is the safest thing to do to honor God and your reputation. Thirdly, do not internalize the negative words or actions that are a result of jealousy and envy. In other words, we need to guard our hearts (Proverbs 4:23). Though it is important to be self-reflective and to process things, do not allow those things to take root in your heart. If it does, you risk the chance of manifesting resentment, bitterness, and unforgiveness. These things ultimately hinder the hand of God in your life. Jesus said, “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses” (Mark 11:25-26). We want God to have a heart that smiles at us and to fight for us in confidence knowing that we honor Him and His word.

Things to remember whether you are displaying or receiving jealousy:

• Cultivate character through prayer and fasting.

• Acknowledge the areas in our heart that we need God to heal and restore.

• Walk in humility.

• Exercise the fruit of the spirit; be kind.

• Do not internalize the opposition you face; guard your heart.