HIDDEN GEMS

As the Eagles would say: we live our lives in the fast lane. In a world where everything changes so rapidly, most of us can’t keep up with the hectic lifestyle. But when Covid-19 was taking over the world, that all changed. In times of isolation, social distancing, and Zoom meetings, we were snapped out of our day-to-day life. A rollercoaster called ‘lockdown’ began and it’s the best one I’ve ever ridden.

I can hear you thinking: “What?” Yes, I just said that lockdown was the best thing that ever happened to me. Waking up to the same day, every day. The disconnection with the world. The uncertainty of what’s to come. Every single aspect of it.

I didn’t always feel this way. In fact, the frst day of lockdown felt like the weight of the world had been put on my shoulders. When everything started to crash down, I had just graduated with fying colours and was coming of of a major high. For a second there, I thought we had just ended up in some weird sci-f simulation. After pinching myself - way too hard - I realised that wasn’t the case. Since then, I’ve been trying to form some sort of sense of this new world order we’ve stumbled into.

I was always the person who had her shit together. With my tireless optimism and my persistence to make all my rosecoloured dreams come true, I had it all fgured out at the age of just 21. Kind of like the real-life version of Elle Woods in ‘Legally Blonde’, but with less money and more dogs. Lockdown should’ve been a piece of cake - preferably a chocolate one - for me. Or at least, that’s what I thought - until I spent every day stuck between four walls, where at the end of it, I had no one but myself. It was like someone was holding up a mirror and suddenly you’re unable to escape your own refection. All your insecurities, faws, and fears rise to the surface; you get confronted with the worst and best versions of yourself.

My daily life before lockdown was flled with the exhilarating chaos of trying to strike the perfect balance: working efciently under pressure, drinking wine with my girlfriends, and getting eight hours of sleep a night. They say when you distance yourself from certain situations, you see new perspectives. Sounds cliché, I know. But with the mandatory house arrest, there was a newfound stillness in my life, where I only had to focus on myself. Those refective moments resulted in fnally putting myself and my feelings frst, which is something I had never done before.

When you try something new for the frst time, it always feels a bit strange. It reminded me of the frst time I fell in love. Only this time, it wasn’t with some tall, curly-haired man with beautiful brown eyes. No. I was falling in love with myself. I was reborn, in a new phase of my life, where I realised that it’s okay if my life doesn’t go as planned. Because sometimes, like in lockdown, even I have absolutely no control over what’s happening.

Nothing is meant to be or set in stone. I might not end up marrying the man I’ve been dreaming about since I frst laid eyes on him. I might not end up living in a big townhouse in London, with two adorable golden retrievers. And I might not take a year of to be completely fearless and see all the beautiful things the world has to ofer. I just have to make the most out of every day and go with the natural fow of life - pandemic or not.

On that note, I am now able to fnd happiness in the small things. Smelling a fresh cup of hot cofee in the morning. Using my hairbrush as a microphone to sing Beyoncé’s ‘Irreplaceable’ at the top of my lungs, like I just dumped the cheating bastard myself. Reciting every line from every episode of ‘Friends’. Dancing in my underwear like no one’s watching, whilst drinking a bottle of my favourite red wine. Eating way too much chocolate until I have to unzip my pants so I could breathe again. Reconnecting with an old friend about that one time we laughed so hard we almost peed our pants. Things I had always taken for granted - until now.