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BOOKS WHERE THE GIRLS AREN’T Female friendships often mistreated by books, films, TV By Julia Keller Chicago Tribune
CHICAGO — During an appearance in late December on CNN’s “Piers Morgan Tonight,” Jane Fonda was asked Deacon Godsey, which man from her past she pastor, would choose to accompany Lawrence “Tim Keller — ‘The Meaning her to a desert island. Would she select a famous of Marriage.’ I’m helping with ex—spouse like Ted Turner some pre-marriage counselor Tom Hayden? Or would ing.” this be the moment when Fonda spilled the beans about some long—ago liaison with a heretofore unknown beau for whom she still pines? To Morgan’s obvious disappointment, Fonda chose: None of the Above. “My girlfriends,” she replied. Rachel Bertsche can relate. The 29—year—old writer discovered just how important female friendships are to her life when she moved to Chicago in 2007. She and her husRalph Park, band, Matt, knew a few people physician, when they relocated for his Lawrence “‘Confucius the Analects: The job with a law firm — she’d been an editor with Oprah Path of the Sage.’” Winfrey’s magazine in New York; he’d finished law school in Philadelphia — but not enough to fill the dance card of an acceptable social life. So Bertsche took to the streets. She hunted down girlfriends using newfangled social media as well as that 21st century version of a quilting bee: yoga class. Each week for a year, she made a date with a potential best pal, keeping her fingers crossed that she’d made a connection. And she records her experiences in a funny, spirited new book, “MWF Seeking BFF: My Hank Avila, Yearlong Search for a New retired, Best Friend” (Ballantine). Berryton “Friendship is such an im“‘Emma’ by Jane Austen and ‘The Satanic Verses’ (by portant aspect of our lives,” Bertsche said in a recent Salman Rushdie).” interview. “But we tend to think of friendship as a luxury — something we fit into our lives if we have time after career and family.” Rarely is it discussed with much seriousness or intellectual rigor, Bertsche noted. For one thing, the need for friends often goes unacknowledged because nobody wants to come across as a shunned loser. Moreover, the world, like CNN’s Morgan, is preoccupied with romantic Mary Ellen Fagan, retired, Lawrence “‘The Vision of Emma Blau.’ I took it from my daughter.”
love; the fact that Bertsche had that part covered — the husband with whom she shares her Lincoln Park home is “my most intimate companion and the love of my life,” she writes — means that people expected her to be satisfied. Friends — so the world believes — are the parsley, not the entree. And yet Bertsche’s intriguing book reminds us of an unpleasant reality: Female friendships don’t count. They’re cute and funny and wacky and winsome — but in the arts, they’re not often portrayed with the gravitas routinely afforded male friendships. Men are shown bonding while getting shot at in war; women, while getting their nails done. Men get “A Separate Peace.” Women get “The Baby—sitters Club.” The former is a 1959 novel by John Knowles, a grim morality play that unfolds against the backdrop of World War II and the deaths of millions of people. The latter is a series of young adult novels published between 1986 and 2000 whose keynote tragedy is the death of
a beloved collie. Men get “Stand by Me,” the 1986 film in which young men confront the realities of death and the inviolable hierarchy of social class. Women get “Beaches,” the 1988 film in which young women confront the agonies of having one’s boyfriend stolen. Men get “Of Mice and Men,” John Steinbeck’s powerful 1937 novel about a pair of men who share a tragic dream of freedom. Women get “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,” the 2001 novel by Ann Brashares and 2005 film about women who share a pair of trousers. Men get Cain and Abel. Women get Kim and Kourtney Kardashian. There are, of course, many complex and inspiring portraits of women’s friendships. “Talk Before Sleep” (1994), a novel by Elizabeth Berg; “Fried Green Tomatoes” (1991), a film based on the 1987 novel “Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe” by Fannie Flagg; and “Testament of Friendship: The Story of Winifred Holtby” (1940), a memoir by Vera Brit-
10 good reads to look for in 2012 By Tom Beer Newsday
Rebekah Satterfield, nurse, Lawrence “Just cookbooks at the moment.”
AP Photo
IN THIS BOOK COVER IMAGE released by Ballantine Books, “MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend,” by Rachel Bertsche, is shown.
tain about a talented confidant who died tragically young, are estimable works that elevate female relationships. And the 1991 film “Thelma & Louise” remains the quintessential pop—culture view of female friendship, even though — spoiler alert! — the ending makes one wish they’d confined their association to a yoga class every now and again. To be sure, women’s friendships often are depicted in entertaining comedies — and there’s nothing wrong with that. Life can’t be a steady diet of “Antigone” and “Joan of Arc.” Watching the TV series “Sex and the City” or the 1997 film “Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion” can do for a bad mood what chicken soup can do for a bad cold. In neither case are the results scientifically verified, but we all know what works. Thus it isn’t the case that women’s friendships are always trivialized or that men’s are always treated with dignity and respect. If that were so, no beer commercials would ever have befouled the airwaves. But when it comes to the average cultural take on the respective relationships — men with male friends, women with female — women usually look silly, and men serious. Men get “Dead Poets Society,” the 1989 film about liberating the soul through classic literature; women get “Divine Secrets of the Ya—Ya Sisterhood,” the 2002 film and 1996 novel by Rebecca Wells whose title alone undermines any pretense of profundity. Bertsche knew that exploring female friendship in a book was fraught with peril. “When people asked me what I was writing about, I didn’t want to say,” she admitted, fearful lest they envision “hearts and BFF necklaces. There’s a lot more to it than that.” As she discusses in her book, friends are vitally important to both sexes — but not for the same reasons. That’s just one of the insights you can glean from Bertsche’s account of her 12—month quest to find a best buddy. “Most of us are embarrassed to say, ‘I need friends!’ We think, ‘Do I really want to say that to the world?’” Bertsche took the risk. And the result is a breezy, unexpectedly thought—provoking book that does to conventional wisdom about female friendships what Thelma and Louise — oblique spoiler alert! — did to that nasty trucker.
Fire up your e-readers, pay off your library fines, make nice with your neighborhood bookseller. However you obtain your reading material in 2012, there’s a crop of promising new books coming your way. Here are 10 titles for a happy 2012. “The Obamas” by Jodi Kantor (Little, Brown): Jodi Kantor’s portrait of the first couple, which began as a cover story for The New York Times magazine in 2009, has been kept under tight wraps by the publisher. We haven’t seen a copy yet, but we’re dying to know what makes Barack and Michelle tick and why they seem so in synch after 19 years of marriage. Keep your Bill and Hillary; this is the power duo that fascinates us. (Jan. 10) “Watergate” by Thomas Mallon (Pantheon): Mallon, whose previous historical novels have taken on the Lincoln assassination and Joe McCarthy’s anti-communist witch hunts, turns to the downfall of the Nixon administration in his latest. For anyone obsessed with this bizarre episode in American politics — a hotel break-in and a far-reaching administration cover-up — “Wa-
tergate” is must reading. (Feb. 21) “The Man Without a Face: The Unlikely Rise of Vladimir Putin” by Masha Gessen (Riverhead): A Moscowbased journalist examines the once and future Russian president, whose regime now faces widespread dissatisfaction and protests. Gessen charts the trajectory of a lowlevel KGB operative anointed by the power brokers; once in office, Putin managed to systematically halt democratic progress. (March 1) “The Song of Achilles” by Madeline Miller (Ecco): Last year saw Stephen Mitchell’s wonderful new translation of “The Iliad”; 2012 brings this debut novel, a retelling of Homer’s tale about the Trojan War, focused on the powerful bond between the Greek hero Achilles and his comrade Patroclus, the exiled prince. The classics never get old. (March 6) “Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?” by Jeanette Winterson (Grove): Winterson’s autobiographical first novel, “Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit,” was published in 1985, an instant classic about an adopted girl’s upbringing as an English Pentecostal and the discovery of her lesbianism. Now comes a memoir that
promises to revisit and expand on that life story. It begins: “When my mother was angry with me, which was often, she said, ‘The Devil led us to the wrong crib.’” We’re hooked. (March 6) “Arcadia” by Lauren Groff (Voice): The second novel from the author of “The Monsters of Templeton” is set in a commune in rural western New York in the late 1960s; it observes the rise and fall of this utopian community and the coming of age of a young boy, Bit, who is born there. (March 13) “The New Republic” by Lionel Shriver (Harper): Novelist Lionel Shriver has seen her profile raised with a new film adaptation of “We Need to Talk About Kevin” starring Tilda Swinton. This novel, written in 1998, never came out in the United States — a victim of Shriver’s poor sales figures (in those days) and later a post-9/11 squeamishness about terrorism. Set in a fictional region of Portugal, “The New Republic” follows a journalist dispatched there to cover a local independence movement setting off bombs for their cause. (March 27) “The Passage of Power: The Years of Lyndon Johnson” by Robert A. Caro (Al-
fred A. Knopf): The Pulitzer Prize-winning biographer (and former Newsday reporter) delivers Volume 4 in his massive life of the 36th president. This latest installment follows LBJ through his unhappy vice presidency, tells the story of the Kennedy assassination from Johnson’s perspective and examines the early triumphs of his presidency. (May 1) “Are You My Mother?” by Alison Bechdel (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt): Bechdel blew everyone away with her cartoon-style memoir “Fun Home” in 2006; it told the story of the author’s closeted gay father who committed suicide. Now, Bechdel is back with a book about her mom, a frustrated actress and music lover who stopped touching and kissing Alison when she was 7. If it’s anything like “Fun Home,” it should be outstanding. (May 1) “In One Person” by John Irving (Simon & Schuster): Irving’s 13th novel is the story of a bisexual man named Billy, whose life and loves make him a societal outcast. Irving’s last book didn’t make much of an impression, but this promises a return to the sexual themes and unconventional characters that are vintage Irving. (May 8)
Sunday, January 15, 2012
BEST-SELLERS Here are the best-sellers for the week ending Jan. 7, compiled from data from independent and chain bookstores, book wholesalers and independent distributors nationwide.
FICTION 1. “Private: #1 Suspect.” James Patterson & Maxine Paetro. Little, Brown, $27.99 2. “Love in a Nutshell.” Janet Evanovich & Dorien Kelly. St. Martin’s, $27.99 3. “Death Comes to Pemberley.” P.D. James. Knopf, $25.95 4. “77 Shadow Street.” Dean Koontz. Bantam, $28 5. “11/22/63.” Stephen King. Scribner, $35 6. “The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest.” Stieg Larsson. Knopf, $27.95 7. “Locked On.” Tom Clancy with Mark Greaney. Putnam, $28.95 8. “The Litigators.” John Grisham. Doubleday, $28.95 9. “The Best of Me.” Nicholas Sparks. Grand Central, $25.99 10. “Kill Alex Cross.” James Patterson. Little, Brown, $28.99 11. “Red Mist.” Patricia Cornwell. Putnam, $27.95 12. “A Dance with Dragons.” George R.R. Martin. Bantam, $35 13. “Explosive Eighteen.” Janet Evanovich. Bantam, $28 14. “The Drop.” Michael Connelly. Little, Brown, $27.99 15. “A Devil Is Waiting.” Jack Higgins. Putnam, $26.95 16. “The Hunter.” John Lescroart. Dutton, $26.95 17. “D.C. Dead.” Stuart Woods. Putnam, $26.95 18. “Halo Primordium, Book Two.” Greg Bear. Tor, $25.99 19. “Down the Darkest Road.” Tami Hoag. Dutton, $26.95 20. “Micro.” Michael Crichton & Richard Preston. Harper, $28.99 21. “The Marriage Plot.” Jeffrey Eugenides. Farrar, Straus & Giroux, $28 22. “Sisterhood of Dune.” Brian Herbert & Kevin J. Anderson. Tor, $27.99 23. “Gun Games.” Faye Kellerman. Morrow, $25.99 24. “The Sense of an Ending.” Julian Barnes. Knopf, $23.95 25. “The Paris Wife.” Paula McLain. Ballantine, $25 NONFICTION 1. “Steve Jobs.” Walter Isaacson. Simon & Schuster, $35 2. “American Sniper.” Chris Kyle, with Scott McEwen & Jim DeFelice. Morrow, $26.99 3. “Real Marriage.” Mark & Grace Driscoll. Thomas Nelson, $22.99 4. “Killing Lincoln.” Bill O’Reilly & Martin Dugard. Holt, $28 5. “Taking People with You.” David Novak. Portfolio, $25.95 6. “Thinking, Fast and Slow.” Daniel Kahneman. Farrar, Straus & Giroux, $30 7. “The 17 Day Diet.” Dr. Mike Moreno. Free Press, $25 8. “The Dash Diet Action Plan.” Marla Heller. Grand Central, $22.99 9. “Unbroken.” Laura Hillenbrand. Random House, $27 10. “Catherine the Great.” Robert K. Massie. Random House, $35 11. “Through My Eyes.” Tim Tebow with Nathan Whitaker. HarperOne, $26.99 12. “The Dukan Diet.” Dr. Pierre Dukan. Crown, $26 13. “Heaven Is for Real.” Todd Burpo with Lynn Vincent. Thomas Nelson, $21.99 14. “Boomerang.” Michael Lewis. Norton, $25.95 15. “How Do You Kill 11 Million People?” Andy Andrews. Thomas Nelson, $14.99 16. “Every Day a Friday.” Joel Osteen. FaithWords, $24.99 17. “In the Garden of Beasts.” Erik Larson. Crown, $26 18. “Seriously... I’m Kidding.” Ellen DeGeneres. Grand Central, $26.99 19. “Imperfect Justice.” Jeff Ashton with Lisa Pulitzer. Morrow, $26.99 20. “Go the F**k to Sleep.” Adam Mansbach, illus. by Ricardo Cortes. Akashic, $14.95 21. “Being George Washington.” Glenn Beck. Threshold, $26 22. “Choose to Lose.” Chris Powell. Hyperion, $24.99 23. “Weight Watchers One Pot Cookbook.” Wiley, $29.99 24. “Jack Kennedy.” Chris Matthews. Simon & Schuster, $27.50 25. “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?” Mindy Kaling.Crown, $25