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found that premarital cohabitation doesn’t always end well. After dating for seven months, he and his girlfriend moved in together. “It was convenient and economical, but those can be bad reasons to live together so quickly,” he explains. Often, such realizations can only be seen once the move has been made.
to find Del and Karen Hammerschmidt, a couple who sings a much different tune about spending too much time together. After 52 years of married bliss, they still spend almost every moment together. But even the most loving marriages take effort. “We get through it because we love each other and
Photo illustrations by Yaisha Neiderhiser
“Make time to be apart,” says Luettel. “It’s just as important as spending time together.” One negative aspect that surfaced for Luettel was that he and his girlfriend failed to maintain separate lives. They lived together, worked together, commuted together, and even worked out at the same gym together. Looking back, the problem is clear. “Make time to be apart,” he says. “It’s just as important as spending time together.” Eventually, Luettel’s relationship deteriorated, ending with his ex cheating on him. “I think living together contributed to her cheating. She obviously wasn’t ready to settle down and she felt trapped,” he says. “Don’t ever ignore the red flags. In the end, they killed the relationship.” Pivot 180-degrees
respect each other,” Karen says. “We stick together through thick and thin.” Adds Del, “Find a good person who loves you for you, and the rest will fall into place.”
Staying Plugged In Mommy blogs and other social networking sites connect stay-at-home caregivers to the outside world by Janae Olinger Slapping yet another Post-It note on her Apple notebook, Rachel Denbow types away as her children, three-yearold Sebastian and sevenmonth-old Ruby, watch a video in the nursery. This is one of the few quiet moments Denbow has in her day. As a work-athome mother and blogger, she spends whatever free minutes she can spare compiling to-do lists for her two Etsy shops, Pony Party and Red Velvet Art. Between diaper changes and meals, she also makes time to type out a few in-process blog posts. “I make lists to keep my mommy brain focused on responsibilities and dead-
Social networking sites like Twitter, Facebook, Flickr and a myriad of blogs are flooded with moms helping, hoping, and hanging on to their social lives while caring for their children. “Social networking and online media have allowed me to keep up with women much easier than trying to schedule a coffee date and jam new ideas and funny stories into the space of an hour,” Denbow says. But, just like offline, life online is not always easy. Those commenting on Denbow’s posts also take the liberty to weigh in on her parenting. “If it isn’t constructive and I don’t know the person, it does hurt my feelings,” Denbow says. “But
“I’m learning how to shake them off and move forward without letting them ruin the rest of my day.” lines,” Denbow says. “It’s taken me a while to figure out a system that works, but we’re getting there.” Denbow is one of the approximately 35 million American mothers who go online, according to a 2008 study by eMarketer, a company that researches and analyzes trends in digital marketing and media.
I’m learning how to shake them off and move forward without letting them ruin the rest of my day.” Maintaining life online may take a little time away from children, but it can also be beneficial as an outlet, resource, and social network for at-home moms.
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