Apocalipstick Zine by lauraannbxo

ISSUE 01 BY LAURA BENWELL

From the Editor Welcome to Issue 01 of Apocalipstick, a new and creative zine focusing on feminism. This issue features many amazing women who I’ve spent time getting to know. The women I’ve spoken too are truly inspiring and talk about topics that should be normalised in todays society. The main research features how mainstream media has framed feminism in the last 30 years, and what young feminists are doing now. Through photography and interviews I’ve opened myself up to women and learnt what feminism means to each of them. Lola Olufemi has inspired much of the work and research through her book “Feminism Interrupted” where she starts off describing feminism as justice work. If reading about feminism makes you think, read more, or become more familiar with feminist thoughts, then this zine and the research that has gone into it has served it’s purpose. Mass media devotes a significant amount of time to women, and their bodies, but in this digital age women can reclaim themselves and their bodies on social media platforms. This zine is jam packed with all kinds of conversations and images for you to engage with and add to current feminist thoughts and conversations.

Jessica Wood on: Feminism, reclaiming the gaze and what working in hospitality can be like as a woman. Jessica Wood is a 24 year old, fine art masters student living in Leeds. Much of her work has a strong focus on the female body and reclaiming the gaze. We are taught to fear body hair, fear big boobs, little boobs, fear being girly, fear being too manly and fear not being enough of a woman. Jess takes all of these ideas and statements and produces artwork which features on her instagram @jesswoodart, in a really beautiful way. I spoke to Jess on her thoughts, feelings and ideas regarding all things feminism. Forget definitions, what is feminism to you? How do you describe it? So I don’t really like the term feminism. I’m more of an ‘equality for all’ person just because feminism has so many negative connotations but it really is just equality for everyone- men, women, non binary, LGTBQ+ communities and no matter what your race is, everyone is equal. You are an artist, tell me about your work and how it reclaims the gaze as such? My artwork is primarily on how women have been judged on social media and their day to day life. Going from witches to now and there has always been a judgement so I try to move away from that. I like using the female body as it can gross people out but that’s what I want to do, make people feel uncomfortable until they accept that our bodies are natural and help us live. When we are constantly judged on our bodies it can lead to negative things like self harm, eating disorders and other mental illnesses so things need to be normalised. I love the idea of ‘grossing people out’, how have you done this previously? People apologise for their hairy legs or hairy armpits all the time. When women become intimate with someone, you sometimes hear “oh i’m sorry i’ve not shaved’ or even the idea of not shaving will completely stop people from having sex and it’s like why?! I did a project about shaving and was essentially really provocative and recorded the hair removal process like shaving, waxing and threading. It got super up close and personal and very abject as I purposefully wanted to gross people out. As a woman “you shouldn’t be gross” as I was once told, so now I make sure to do this to break down that societal norm. Some of the videos were taken down as you could see my v-line and that was seen as innappropriate which is just stupid as men show off their’s all the time. One rule for some... You should smile more... What does this mean to you when you hear comments or phrases like that on social media or in person? This is something I think gets brushed off quite a lot. I notice this at work more than anywhere else because customers like to think they’re being funny or flirty when it just comes across rude. I can’t tell you how often my eyes roll, especially when hearing “you should smile more”. Don’t tell me what to do, it’s my face and my body. Some people think this is too extreme to say that but I have the right to smile or not when I want. With masks on now due to the pandemic it’s been a breath of fresh air just because people can’t see my face.

What other things do you find to be internal misogyny in the workplace? Work is funny because everyone I work with are such brilliant creative people who share the same views as I do. However internalised misogyny is real. There can be two supervisors on the bar, one man, one woman and yet people always go to the man for keys, or changing a keg or if there is an issue. What I notice more, is that the man is in the middle of a job already yet the woman isn’t so sure you’d go to them anyway. Someone actually apologised the other day without me saying anything because she realised and was like wow I didn’t even realise I always go to the male. Men are seen as dominant- as the boss and society has always viewed men as superior so even the most ‘woke’ people need to improve their ways. I guess speaking of work and managers, this leads me to the term ‘girl boss’, what are your thoughts on this trend? I think calling it a trend is great for one. I do not agree with it but I see where it came from and understand how people wanted to claim something as their own but it completely misses the point. I do think it is a trend too because people aren’t fully aware that this isn’t equality for men and women. You don’t hear “boy boss”. It’s like the term “She-E-O”, when do you ever hear the term “HeE-O”- it’s because you don’t. Men are seen as the top boss, it’s not awarded or anything the way if a woman becomes a boss it’s this massive deal and congratulated in a really patronising way. Lot’s of terminology is thrown around the media calling people different things, are there any examples in the mainstream that you notice that you also disagree with? Something I noticed and I guess it’s more niche, but when a man is knighted, they become a ‘sir’. It sounds important, it sounds noble, however a woman is called ‘dame’. I just think it sounds weak. It’s not going to change either- this is something that dates back hundreds of years so of course it isn’t equal. I fit this into the dynamic of a workplace, if you are the male supervisor you are seen as higher and more important- pretty much automatically. More modern terms like ‘bitch’ and ‘slut’ disgust me. It’s just not something that anyone should be called. Men typically use it in completely irrational scenarios too. How are you going about changing society’s outlook on these things, do you purposely try to or is it something you quietly promote? I am one of the most outspoken people I personally know so if I hear something and disagree, you will know and you will recieve reasoning why and then I will listen to you and your opinion of why you think a certain thing. Discussions are key, without them, society will not change, I’m not angry at people, I just don’t think everyone is educated the same. Different backgrounds also lead to different opinions and it’s interesting listening to others. Like I said at the start, feminism to me is equality for everyone, I do not think women are better than men, I just wanted everyone to be treated at the same level of respect that men can have.

Glossary

an umbrella term for gender identities that are neither male nor female ‌identities that are outside the gender binary. Internal misogyny: when women subconsciously project sexist ideas onto other women and even onto themselves. Non Binary:

Visual art, painting, sculpture, photography and literature provide a space for us to test our limits. Art moves us because it provokes feelings and calls for a response. Whether that response is repulsion, fear, joy, appreciation or boredom; art calls for a witness. Lola Olufemi

Emma Hubberstey talks mainstream media and it’s links to the sexualisation of women, patriarchal messages and feeling like a character in her own life.

...wanting unequal power for women. I think a lot of people in society, especially the older generation, still believe that that is what feminism entails. I think it’s completely false. You even see, for example, I’ve seen quite frequently on Twitter on news outlets where the right wing media almost tried to portray left wing media and feminists as wanting an unequal power. It’s kind of set up, it’s very falsified.

So Emma, who are you, tell me a little about you and what you do?

Feminists aren’t concerning themselves with minor issues, they’re concerned with larger scale problems like lack of opportunities for women in education and sexual harassment. But I think the media has been very complicit in sparking outrage by delivering the wrong message. You have these groups of people who are against feminism because they’ve got the complete wrong end of the stick. I would struggle to see why anybody who’s done their research of the movement would still be opposing women’s rights. I think it’s all to do with power complexes.

My name is Emma. I’m currently an environment and development MSC student at the University of Leeds. I’m 23 years old and the predominance of what I get up to my free time tends to be around environmental projects, feminist projects and social justice related campaigning. So I’m continuously campaigning for essentially, a more socially and environmentally fair world, with a specific focus in Leeds. When you hear the word feminism, what does that mean to you? So I think the main point of feminism to me is essentially just equality between both genders but also encompassing variations of gender such as those who identify as nonbinary and transexual or essentially everybody who does not identify as a cis-gendered male, so it basically just means that through education and in the workplace, through sexuality and other various institutions, that basically women are treated with appropriate respect, and seen as equal so they have access to equal opportunity and treatment throughout their life. When you hear certain comments made in the media like “you should smile more”, how does it make you feel, is the media doing the right or wrong thing in saying and sharing these messages? So I think it’s a completely mixed bag. I think in terms of media when I was quite a bit younger, maybe up until around 2016, the rhetorik was very sexist. Like you say with comments such as “you should smile more” and “don’t wear certain items of clothing”, it was quite a patriarchal stand point and quite oppressive to women. Definitely, when I was a lot younger in those years as well, typically my initial reaction would be to feel almost intimidated by that. I would not really want to question that. I would feel that maybe those messages from men are correct, and I’d feel very disempowered. I do think the media has come a long way. For example, the BBC, ITV and a lot of mainstream media sources do try to cover women’s movements such as the Sarah Everard vigill and it was in a less biased sense. So I think there’s been a lot more empowerment as of recent by mainstream media. However, I do think that messages within the media can still be subconsciously patriarchal. So for example, if you look into policy media stories, they do tend to be delivered from the male point of view. I still think the stage isn’t really set for women, especially women who might be from colored or black backgrounds who might be non binary or transsexual women. We have the ability to question more now, which I think is really important and really powerful. But yeah, I do still think the whole kind of misogynistic undertones of you know day-to-day conversation that can occur in the workplace can still subconsciously silence women. A lot of media and some people have branded feminism as a “man hating campaign”, what are your thoughts on this? I think a lot of perceptions surrounding feminism have essentially been rebranded inappropriately by the media and by individuals, predominantly right wing media to yeah, be something that stood for hating men in some form and...

Talk to me about the sexualisation of women, I know you mentioned to me before this interview this is something you wanted to mention, the floor is yours. Yeah, so I think it might be the last social construct that we will end up denouncing here because I think it could be the most powerful. You know through primary socialization, secondary socialization, women appear to be pretty and that we are here for the benefit of men and here to please them. Men were definitely portrayed within our socialization as social facilitators which essentially means that we will ultimately ensure that the other party, usually a man, is comfortable, then acknowledge our own feelings and voice those in a powerful way that is definitely not a reflection on the weakness of women. That is just a fault with our socialization process, and I think that links really well into sexuality because when you’re taught to value your appearance, you are unwillingly feeding into that rhetoric and the sexualization of women is still very rife. The male gaze is real. Even in a lot of lines of work, there’s been studies that show it is more beneficial at job interviews to be an attractive woman, regardless of the job to be attractive. Companies will hire women who look more attractive because they know that the tips will be better so I think it just ties in to everything, ultimately. I absolutely disagree with the sexualization of women. We don’t view men in the same light. We don’t put so much emphasis and pressure on the male appearance as we do on women. It’s very damaging. I believe it contributes to the rise in mental health issues. What terminology for women do you dislike or disagree with and why? I hate and I mean hate the words slag, slut, bitch and whore. We don’t really have the equivalent for men and it plays into sexualisation. If men sleep around, they get congratulated, if a girl says the same she must have an STI and be a slut. When I’m around people, I always feel like I’m an actress in my own life. I have so many different personalities depending on who I’m with and what I want to say. If someone uses terms like those, I will always try to shout out and say to stop but then sometimes I’m scared and will just laugh a long. It’s really bad and I know I shouldn’t do that but the pressure to please others is crazy.

Glossary

Relating or denoting a system of society or a governement controlled by man. Patriarchal:

When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch.” Bette Davis

Labels I don’t want to hear anymore in society. Women are tirelessly working harder for a more equal society but one thing that never seems to improve is labelling. Getting called a bitch or a slut is becoming so boring yet men seem to think it’s funny and appropriate to call women by these names. It’s not cool and it’s not clever. From critical terms like ‘slag’ and ‘slut’ to ‘damaged goods’ or more generalised terms like ‘bird’ or ‘chick’, these labels put women firmly in their place in a patriarchal society. Women are called these on a daily basis whether it be at work, online, on the street or even at home. Labels bring separation and unconscious prejudice and are always quite patronising. The problem with labels is that they lead to assumptions and generalizations creating a stereotype and this is a cycle that is ongoing. It changes people’s perceptions so if you call someone a bitch, the likelihood is that if you hear that someone is a bitch or a slut, you are most likely going to think they are before you know them… see the issue? Labels are placed upon society our entire lives. Whether you are straight or gay, bisexual or transgender, there is always a label. This can be beneficial and it can be useful but it isn’t necessary. If we lived in a perfect world nobody would care but we don’t live in a perfect world. Slut shaming is one of the main things that occurs in young women’s lives. I’ve not met anyone my age that hasn’t been called a slut at least once. Digital culture and social media puts a hell of a lot of pressure on young women. Today, female bodies are constantly on display whether it be online or even walking down the street. This is certainly true men too, but the pressure on women is inescapable because so much of heterosexual female identity is connected to looking sexy. Even when someone does look sexy and is labelled as so, it turns into slut shaming saying that they should cover up and that they are ‘asking for it’.

Whore Slut

Asking for it Provocative

Cheeky

Flirty

On the flip side women are called ‘prudes’ when they’re not showing enough skin or not being sexy enough. This is a double standard granted by men which has made women feel uncomfortable in anything they wear. Here’s a list of negative labels we need to get rid of and why: Slut: We need to stop calling women sluts, plain and simple. There is an apparent double standard in our society through which men are celebrated for promiscuity, while women are made to feel ashamed.

Proper

Tranny: Tranny is a derogatory term, and it’s disrespectful. Transgender people deserve the same amount of respect as anyone else. Crazy: Calling someone crazy implies that this person is mentally unstable, which is obviously related to mental illness. Mental illness is a very real thing, impacting millions of people across the world. It’s not a joke, and it’s certainly not something that should be trivialized.

Old Fashioned

Plus-Size Model: We don’t call smaller models “regular size models.” Who cares what a person’s body size is, why do we have to label it? All people are beautiful in their own ways and shouldn’t be made to feel different because they are naturally smaller or larger than another person.

Prudish

A conversation with Tamsin about what feminism means to her and how the media represents feminism? Tamsin Ledger is an Asian and International studies student from Leeds who is passionate about feminism but more specifically equality for both men and women in a work environment. I spoke to Tamsin about how the media represents women and her experience of sexism in day to day life. What does feminism mean to you? For me, feminism has always been a platform for me to be able to understand reactions and events that have happened in my life. With the ever expanding world of the internet, I would say it is much less acceptable to be ignorant to other women, which, for white people like myself, means steering clear of the trap of ‘white feminism’. Feminism to many is a dirty word, however, I personally see it as liberating (if done in an inclusive manner). Feminism is where women’s rights began, and unfortunately there is still no equality (or equity) in today’s society, so I don’t see feminism going anywhere just yet. It is also becoming more recognised that men are negatively affected by patriarchy and toxic masculinity, making feminism something that benefits us all. I hope that the word can be stripped of negative connotations in the near future, as we have a lot of work to do, especially for women of colour. Does the media represent women in a positive or negative light that you see whether it’s social media or not? This is an interesting question because I am honestly unsure if we can say it is either positive or negative. Although there is a lot more body positivity floating around social media, this often turns into internet cliques, in which inclusivity somehow becomes exclusive. Women are taking back their sexuality which is amazing, but this often leads to creeps on the internet expecting certain ‘favours’ from those who do not wish to do so. Hate comments appear to be ever consistent, and young girls are expected to look 18+ from around the age of 12 it seems. Every trend has its positive and negative sides, but honestly, despite progressiveness becoming the new norm, I don’t think much has really changed for women’s representation in the media. Do you experience sexism in your day to day life? Working in bars for 7/8 years has certainly given me a backbone I didn’t realise I had. From being leered at, to struggling to command respect in a higher role, I have definitely seen it all. It was never an easy ride, but I think I have finally come to a point in which I am more respected as senior staff… although the same cannot be said for my personal life. It seems like despite getting more confident, I get knocked down more by men making inappropriate comments, sexualising me when all i’m trying to do is be friendly and have a laugh, making me feel like a sex object to people I thought were my friends. I am fairly oblivious to things like this, but I am noticing more and more as people let me know comments I didn’t hear, and the actions of those around me I didn’t notice as being somewhat leery.

In the past, I have been disregarded in my job whereas other male members of staff have been listened to with more respect (despite both of us having good ideas), simply because I am female. I cannot even count the amount of times I have been talked over or ignored, again, because I am a girl. It is definitely frustrating, which sometimes made me take on a persona that may be a little more harsh, just so I am listened to. This is certainly problematic, and I can only say that women need to give each other the solidarity needed to combat this kind of working environment.

if it’s It’s not feminism

Without intersectionality, you will fnd yourself becoming an oppresor, no matter how great your intentions are. Ijeoma Oluo

not intersectiona

Intersectionality tries to incorporate women of every class, race, gender, sexuality, and religion without focusing on the dominant and `privileged women that feminism is usually associated with. Kimberlé Crenshaw

As a white privileged woman, and I know I’m privileged, I have no idea what racism feels like. White women and more specifically white feminism fail to address distinct forms of oppression faced by ethnic minority women and women lacking other privileges. I didn’t want to be another white woman producing content and not speak about intersectionality as it is an often occurrence. Conversations about race and racism can be uncomfortable, especially if you have benefitted from racism — which, ahem, all white people have. Recognising the difference between White Feminism and white feminists is key to an intersectional approach. White Feminism is when women only include white women in their idea of feminism and focus on equal pay, being equal with men and women’s rights etc but fail to acknowledge how ethnic minorities are paid lesser than white women and experience racism on top of sexism. I read a lot of feminist based books and was reading Florence Given’s “Women Don’t Owe You Pretty”. It touches a lot on sexuality, breaking up with boys and “Queerness’ ‘ but didn’t address specifically how white feminism is a negative to feminism as a whole. Florence Given had been accused of profiting from ‘black ideas, black activism and black work’ more specifically ‘stealing’ ideas from Chidera Eggerue and her book “What a time to be alone”. The issue lies with the fact that though Given acknowledged black work in her book, she profited greatly from these ideas and never gave back to black communities. She is known as a “performative feminist”. This is something I have been conscious of in writing and creating my zine. I didn’t want to come across as performative. I generally want to speak about Intersectionality with as much honesty as possible. I’m still learning. Everyday I am understanding what is right versus what is wrong and how to approach situations and conversations. So let’s talk about intersectionality and why feminism isn’t feminism without it. I had a conversation with Scheindlin Bellino about intersectional feminism and why it is so important to her. Scheindlin’s mother is from India and has experienced inequality due to her race and her religion. Moving from India to London is a big culture shock for anyone. Women with multiple identities are still not represented. Scheindlin and her mother have been put into categories their entire lives. They’re not white and they’re not black. The people who are impacted by gender based violence and by gender inequalities, are also the most marginalized—black and brown women, indigenous women, women in rural areas, young girls, trans and gender non-conforming. Scheindlin just wants white women to recognise that they benefit from racism whether it is known or not and to admit and accept that white women need to learn more and speak louder. If you make an active effort to improve your thoughts and actions to involve intersectionality and not dismiss women of colour, then you’re doing feminism right or at least on the right path. Scheindlin said “many people get confused about my race and act really suspicious. I’d rather someone politely ask than just stand and whisper to their friends trying to figure me out. I’m proud of where I’m from and I’m happy to have open conversations with people. For me though when people get defensive and change their tone it’s worrying and it is when white feminism creeps into your life. Sometimes, apologising and learning from your mistake is all it takes to make a difference.” Kimberle Crenshaw in 1989 first used the term intersectional as she wasn’t a black man experiencing racism and wasn’t a white woman experiencing sexism but a black woman experiencing both. Her experience was unique and this began the idea of intertwining feminism to suit everyone of all races and minorities. Ultimately, the concept of intersectionality asks feminists to review their understanding of power and whether gender alone is sufficient in itself to rectify the power imbalance feminism can hold.

Support your sisters not just your cis-ters @amandagig

If it isn’t intersectional It’s bullshit - Flavia Dzodan

Intersectionality links in with labels given by society. Societal hierarchy was created by humans, it didn’t just happen, Kimberlé Crenshaw states, “All inequality is not created equal.” While these labels and hierarchies were once created, intersectional feminists are now trying to break them down. In order to start solving the problems, we must confront our own privilege. In many cases, white privilege unintentionally comes in passing comments. An example could be asking, “Why bring race into this, we are all women ‘’. Those of us with privilege have a harder time recognising it so intersectional feminists are asking for us to listen, learn and not fight back if called out. I also spoke with Gilvania Ferreira-Jones regarding intersectionality and she said “the world cannot go on without it. I have worked with white people all my life and the ignorance is sometimes baffling. I do however have many conversations that I find so interesting and there are so many allies out there that will speak up and defend you. I’m very lucky to have the friends I do, as they’ve got my back and understand their privilege.”

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I would like to express my special thanks and gratitude to everyone that has taken part in my zine. It has been an incredible experience for me to learn all about men and women and their view on feminism. I’ve learnt so much about the way people think and act, and how feminism is a part of so many people’s lives. This zine has many voices in it and it was my pleasure to listen to those in person and online. I have tried my hardest to allow these voices to be heard through writing, illustrations and photography. Start talking. Open up these conversations with your friends, family and strangers. If you have a question, ask it as I have been doing in this zine. It’s so interesting hearing different perspectives and arguments that I’ve not heard before. In a world where the voices of marginalized people are silenced and ignored when speaking on the same issues that cis, non disabled, white women like me are heard and praised for, I want to acknowledge the privilege I know I have. I wasn’t taught about this in school so everyday I am learning and trying to do better. A special thanks to Jessica Wood, Emma Hubberstey, Tamsin Ledger, Ben Kelly Clarkson, Vickie Spencer, Sarah Wakeman, Lily Thourgood, Harry Machin, India Whyte, Laura Davies, Neeve Lomas, Scheindlin Bellino, Reece Simpson, Andrew Glendennan, Gilvania Ferreira-Jones, Lizzie Coombes and all the authors I’ve been inspired by.

Below are books and papers which I have read over time to gain knowledge and understanding of Feminism. I’m still learning and you should too so here is a list of the books and papers I recommend and also what enabled me to create this zine. Feminism Interrupted by Lola Olufemi Toxic Femininity in the Workplace by Ginny Hogan We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer Bad Feminist by Roxanne Gay Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism by Bell Hooks He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know by Jessica Valenti Witches, Midwives and Nurses: A History of Women Healers by Barbara Ehrenreich Bitch: In Praise of Difficult Women by Elizabeth Wurtzel Men Explain Things to Me by Rebecca Solnit Where the Girls Are: Growing Up Female with the Mass Media by Susan J. Douglas Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Pérez Everyday Sexism by Laura Bates Bitches, Bimbos, and Ballbreakers: The Guerrilla Girls’ Illustrated Guide to Female Stereotypes by Guerrilla Girls Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment by Patricia Hill Collins How To Get Over A Boy by Chidera Eggerue Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen Words and Quotes from Ijeoma Oluo Kimberlé Crenshaw @amandagig Flavia Dzodan Bette Davis Lola Olufemi Laurel Thatcher Ulrich