Someone Hyphen Mommy

THIS IS MY BEDTIME STORY This is my bedtime story. It is a story about Bill who had an aeroplane and dropped vegetables from the sky. Bill did this not because people were hungry, or vegetarian, but because he was crazy. Like the Irish. Also, he had the aeroplane. And a vege garden. Anyway, Bill reckoned, some people needed a lettuce leaf smack them on the head from a thousand feet more than food. Or they needed a vege garden so they could smack themselves on the head. And then they‟d need an aeroplane so as to drop their veges from a great height, and have fun themselves. But then they‟d have to land straightaway in order to be hit by their own vegetables.

It was all too complicated. Better Bill did the job himself.

Of course, Bill had a near limitless supply of organic veges from his hydroponic glasshouse and associated outdoor garden which were both dedicated to the cause of producing aerodynamic and highly accurate heatseeking vegetables.

Today‟s what? Tuesday? Of course, Tuesdays were usually Bill‟s day off.

But instead of relaxing in his shed working on the trap-door mechanism of the honest and trustworthy Zelda, or designing a new, advanced stealth vegetable, capable of launching itself on a whim and turning people purple when it hit them.. instead of any of these things, or any other thing, Bill dragged Zelda grudgingly from the shed (for it was her day off too), climbed into the cockpit, pushed the button that said “I‟d rather be in the sky,” and took off down Elgin Street.

Elgin Street was a difficult street to take off from as it had a slope down towards the park and then a sharp rise to Williamson Avenue. Also a bit of a dogleg at the beginning. And then there might be a neighbour driving to or from home, or some extraneous person with no good reason to be there at all.

Too bad. Bill flew up high above the city and circled once so as to have a good look at the day. No. Today he would not bomb cars, or their perpetrators, or even their perpetrators‟ pets.