__________________________ __________________________ Eggs I’d Cook for Elvis Serves 2 to 4 mortals or 1 rock ’n’ roll legend with a hearty appetite
keep stirring (preferably with a wooden spoon) until the eggs begin to set. That’s how you get that nice, fluffy omelet look.
INGREDIENTS 6 eggs, beaten Salt and fresh ground pepper 2 heaping plops sweet butter 1 handful white onion, minced 1 handful bell pepper, diced 1 heaping handful breakfast sausage (maybe 4 links), sliced or diced
________________________________________________________ Re-printed from Feminist Press with permission from the author White Trash but Keepin’ It Kosher Tuna and Macaroni Salad Serves 2 teenagers or 4 grown-ups
Now here’s the best part: stick the whole thing in the oven at about 400 degrees, and when it puffs up and starts to brown, it’s ready! Easy and breezy like a plus-size sundress. To serve, cut into four wedges, or one (for the King).
If you’d like to remember Elvis by adding a few more calories, you can give your breakfast a nice low-rent touch by throwing some Velveeta cheese on top just before you stick the eggs in the oven. Those individually wrapped American cheese slices work, too, but if you use something fancy, like cheddar or Swiss, the eggs will taste too uptown and you’ll have to change clothes.
OPTIONAL 4 cheese slices Beat 6 eggs in a bowl and season to your liking with salt and pepper.
INGREDIENTS 1 lb. macaroni 1 coffee cup mayonnaise 1 large can tuna ½ red onion, diced 2 celery stalks, diced 1 large kosher dill pickle, chopped 1 (8 oz.) can peas 1 pinch salt and fresh ground pepper
Melt 2 heaping plops of sweet butter in an ovenproof skillet. After the butter melts and foams, add one handful of minced onion and a handful of diced bell pepper.
Cook this for a couple of minutes, then throw in a handful of any kind of sliced or diced sausage. You can try breakfast sausage, vegetarian sausage, or chicken sausage, whatever floats your boat.
Sauté your concoction until the sausage looks pretty well cooked, then turn up the heat a little and pour in the eggs. The trick at this point is to 24
Boil one box of macaroni and drain. Cool off under cold water, then drain again.
Combine mayo, tuna, red onion, celery, pickle, peas, and salt and pepper. Mix it all up and enjoy.