Latest Seven 502: 23-29 Nov by Latest Homes

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the city magazine for brighton & hove www.thelatest.co.uk Treason Show main man Mark Brailsford presents the show and The Seagull Love Review fanzine editor Stefan Swift and writer and pundit Dan Tester add their wit to the post-match discussion

H jobs H news H food H listings H tv guide H

thelatest.tv

23 – 29 November 2010

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Open season Arts & Crafts make for perfect presents at the Christmas Artists Open Houses page 18

BRENDON BURNS On bad habits and what he can’t say on The Late Show IT’S A WRAP Gift ideas for your man NEWS & JOBS Headlines & new positions across Sussex

w av Your mont e hly

guide to he a living p25lthy

Celebrate Christmas in style with fine food, wine, service & stylish surroundings in our central location 19 PRINCE ALBERT STREET, BRIGHTON

www.gars.co.uk

01273 321321

info@gars.co.uk

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003_LS502 contents _Contents 19/11/2010 16:14 Page 1

2010

CONTENTS >on paper brighton’s magazine

NEWS & COMMENT 04 Latest people Pretty Eccentric, The Hove Kitchen, Tramp Vintage and the Royal Pavilion Ice Rink 06 News; Jobs & Latest Inbox BHAFC mosaic, eco play centre, the future of Sussex woodlands, plus Councillor Mary Mears, jobs & letters 11 Gifts For Him Fiery Food hampers, jewellery, clothing and more 13 City Speak Ruby looks after Mr Bean, Tash finds a mate for life, and Will deals with reactions to redundancy 14 Snap Shots Frances Duncan of local charity The Whitehawk Inn 14 Competitions Santa’s Tickly Tale tickets, Bill Hicks and a lot of Mr Fry! 15 Celebcity The star-studded Brighton Music Awards, Mark Williams, Rob Brydon, Heather Mills and David Van Day 16 Bare Cheek Readers’ choice cuts and websites we used to love

L7 INTERVIEW

23–29 NOVEMBER

>online

>on tv

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thelatest.tv

It’s nearly December, meaning the festive party season will soon be in full swing. Keep your calendar organised and never miss a trick with our complete listings of what’s on in Sussex. From preChristmas gigs and charity fundraiser gala dinners to laugh-a-minute comedy nights and this year’s pantos, all the information is on our website. Don’t forget to submit your event listing if it’s not included! (See Previews for how to contact us.) Also, visit m.thelatest.co.uk on your mobile for listings while you’re on the move. Read all the latest news and features online, leave comments and enter our competitions for the chance to win some great prizes! What have you got to lose? Log on now.

17 Australian comedian Brendon Burns on clean sets, religion and things he can’t say to a US audience

LIFESTYLE

18 Cover Feature: Christmas Artists Open Houses Plan your festive trail around the Artists Open Houses 22 Andrew Kay’s Food & Drink Andrew gets cooking with hipmarrakech.com 24 Hotlist From Indian and Italian to traditional fish ’n’ chips 25 wave Bikram In The Lanes, beauty therapies at Revitalise, win workout DVDs, plus how to have an ethical Xmas

WHAT’S ON 30 Latest Previews Alice In Wonderland, Teechers, Bootleg Beatles and more 34 Bookings; The Latest Brighton Download Chart The Wanted and X Factor 2011 Live Tour [scream!] plus Number One in the Latest chart this week... 35 Reviews Gorillaz, A-Ha and Liars: were they a hit or a miss? 36 Sport; TV Highlights & Listings BHAFC Vs Man Utd?; Ian Hislop celebrates do-gooders Managing Editor Bill Smith Business Director Angi Mariani Finance Manager Sharon Caple Administration Claire Peerless

Sales Director Lynne Edwards Advertising Sales Natasha Prochaski Creative Director Andrew Kay Production Director Fiona McTernan

Art Director Stephen King Production Manager Neil Ive Production Editor Victoria Nangle Chief Sub Editor Zara Baker

Football Fans Football Fans is our programme all about... err, football fans. Treason Show main man Mark Brailsford presents the show and The Seagull Love Review fanzine editor Stefan Swift and writer and pundit Dan Tester add their wit to the post-match discussion. Will the Seagulls do the League and FA Cup double for the first time now that we’ve an easy route to the latter stages, having demolished Woking, against FC United of Manchester? Plus, we are still top of the League! It’s a subject worthy of debate... Also on Football Fans: how sad it is to see Palace on the slide and lots of funny songs. Go to thelatest.tv to see Football Fans and all our other weekly shows. And, if you want to join Brighton’s TV channel get along to Latest Musicbar in Manchester Street, Brighton on Tuesdays at 5.30pm

The 2010 Christmas Artists Open Houses brochure is out now. Find out where to pick up your guide and read highlights of this year’s festive Open Houses in our four-page feature special, starting p18

Comedy, music or theatre?

Find out what’s going on in Brighton while you’re on the move with comprehensive listings straight to your mobile phone

m.thelatest.co.uk Sub Editors Melina Greenfield Rachel Junior Music Editor Jeff Hemmings Music Listings Nick Aldwinckle

Design Anand Day Steve Sawyer Andrew Wright Editorial Assistant Laura Hayward

Illustrators Dan Evans Lili Bé Paul Lewis Photography Patrick Kneath Diana Frangi

01273 818150 Editorial: editorial@thelatest.co.uk Advertising: lynne@thelatest.co.uk Latest Homes, Unit 1, Level 5 North, New England House New England Street, Brighton BN1 4GH

When you have finished with this magazine please recycle it.

004_005_LS500_Latest People_Social Diary 19/11/2010 15:42 Page 2

LATEST PEOPLE

latest PEOPLE

Around town with: Pretty Eccentric, The Hove Kitchen, Tramp Vintage and the Royal Pavilion Ice Rink

Kitchen chat

The Hove Kitchen, owned by Brighton-based duo Ben Ranger and head chef Steve Beadle, launched Saturday 11 November. Ben has successfully launched and managed restaurants and bars across the South East and Steve has honed his amazing culinary skills at The River Café. The Hove kitchen, which replaces Barney’s on Western Road, is an open and bright environment with earthy colours, exposed wooden floors, wicker chairs and subtle lighting providing modern dining. A modern-European menu has been carefully compiled with the emphasis on affordability. In January 2011, the restaurant will operate the first ‘Cappuccino & Babyccino’ mornings, where a qualified nursery assistant will entertain your child(ren) in the safety of the restaurant’s contained play area. Photos: Patrick Kneath

Holly Caulfield (Chocoholly), Justin Hunt

Hove Kitchen chef and owner Steve Beadle

TV Chef Tarrant Abblet, Rachel Lampen PR, Mark Bowden

Graham Kearns (George Michael's guitar player), Ruby Kearns (Kaleidoscop e)

One of a kind Pretty Eccentric celebrated their first birthday on 11 November at their store in Meeting House Lane, Brighton. Guests enjoyed scrumptious nibbles from Anna Morris at Dainty Catering and lashings of bubbly Perrier-Jouer Champagne. Exquisite lace dresses, dreamy silk kimonos, handbags that are pure works of art, pendants and cufflinks made of Victorian artefacts and the reworking of vintage designs into wearable looks are the handwriting of the store. Pretty Eccentric is the brainchild of Michelle Scott who, at the age of seven said “that’s strange, I have no imagination” and has now created a store of English eccentricity, individuality and fun. Photos: Patrick Kneath

Owner Suzie Waters, actress Carol Cleveland, owner Ben Ranger

Perrier-Jouer Champagne

Peter Gosby (artist & milliner) Michelle Terras (owner), Francesca Pendlebury (manager)

Michelle Scott (owner), Matt Whindle

Ladies and the Tramp

Michelle Scott (owner), Meral Griffith (organiser)

Anna Morris (Dainty Catering), Keely Bitout (assistant), Michelle Scott (owner), Jae Trevelyan (assistant), Alessia Mancini (surpervisor)

Tramp, Brighton’s popular vintage clothing boutique, had a late-night opening on Thursday 11 November. Customers had the chance to browse for that something special for the up and coming party season or simply shop for a stunning winter garment. Owner Michelle Terras and manager Michelle Pendlebury were on hand to advise and offer a complimentary glass of wine. Tramp can be found at 22 Trafalgar Street, Brighton and is open Monday to Saturday 10am to 6pm and Sundays from 11am to 5pm. www.trampvintageclothing.com Photos: Patrick Kneath

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LATEST PEOPLE 05

Prince Regent, Councillors Linda Hyde (Licensing Committee B&HCC) & David Smith (Culture, Recreation & Tourism B&HCC), Councillor Mary Mears (Leader of B&HCC). Shella Parkin (Laine Ltd), Irwain Mauro (Due South) Brighton Brass Septet

Kelsey (Latest TV), Prince Regent (aka Greg Marshall)

Ice pack

Shella Parkin of Laine Ltd, the company behind the Royal Pavilion’s festive ice rink and restaurant attraction, said: “We're really excited about bringing a real ice outdoor rink to Brighton for Christmas 2010. We hope to create a genuinely festive experience with a traditional feel, raising the bar for rinkside dining and going out of our way to make children and families welcome.” Royal Pavilion ice rink tickets cost from £9.50 for adults and £6.50 for children under 12. One-hour skate times run from 10am to 10.15pm daily (book through Ticketmaster). Due South's fully licensed rinkside restaurant is open from 9am to midnight. Prebook on 01273 821218. It’s the ideal Christmas party! Photos: Patrick Kneath Francesca Pendlebury (manager), Jo Peters

1960s Grecian Gown with jewelled waistband

Jo Peters, Michelle and Francesca, Lisa Gellender

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SPONSORED BY

Celebcity with Jo Brooks The first ever ‘Brights’, funny man Rob Brydon, Harry Potter’s Mark Williams & Heather Mills’ vegan tuna

Music masterpiece L

Question: How much does Brighton love Rob Brydon right now? Answer: A lot. The Welsh wonder put on a gig recently at the Theatre Royal Brighton in aid of the Appeal4Felix, a charity set up to raise funds for five-year-old Felix White from Hove who has Neuroblastoma, an aggressive childhood cancer. The gig, billed simply as ‘Rob Brydon & Friends’ turned out to be a night of pure comedy genius as, performing alongside the BAFTA-winning Mr B, were comedy powerhouse Michael McIntyre and The One Show presenter Jason Manford. An amazing night for a worthwhile cause – Rob Brydon, we salute you! To donate online to help Felix continue to fight Neuroblastoma, please visit www.appeal4felix.com I have to add that here in the JBPR office we are loving Rob Brydon for his fabulous turn in The Trip, the BBC2 comedy show in which he stars alongside Brighton’s own Steve Coogan. If you haven’t caught it, log onto iPlayer and get up to speed now! Pic: Patrick Kneath

ast Tuesday saw the first ever Brighton Music Awards tagged as ‘The Brights’. The awards took place at the East Wing of the Brighton Centre and were founded as a 'not for profit' initiative to recognise and award the talent, merits and achievements of emerging musicians and artists from across the South East, and to raise funds for the Teenage Cancer Trust (TCT). Award presenters in attendance on the night included The Who frontman and TCT patron Roger Daltrey, ‘War Of The Worlds’ composer Jeff Wayne, Sylvia Anderson (co-creator of Thunderbirds and voice of Lady Penelope), the legendary Arthur Brown (‘Fire’), Carol Harrison (EastEnders) and Dave Pearce (BBC 6 Music). But the star of the night had to be Led Zeppelin guitar legend Jimmy Page who received the Brighton Music Hall of Fame Award.

BRIGHTON LOVES BRYDON

MAGIC SCHOOL D! SPOTinTgECelebrity

ch Those wat ay have spotted m Coach Trip vid Van Day being Da r Brigthon’s Bucks Fizz membe dissed by ker. Never mind Ba Cheryl at least you David, holiday! got a nice

HEATHER’S CATCH OF THE DAY

Hove-based charity campaigner and now vegan food producer Heather Mills tweeted last week about her latest food range, which is just about to go live to market. Talking about her substitute product for Tuna – saving the seas’ fish stocks, Heather tweeted: “Just perfected our Redwood Vegan Tuna, ask at your health food stores and save the Marine eco-system”.

Pupils at Davigdor Infants School in Hove had a magical afternoon when one of the stars of the new Harry Potter film, Mr Weasley – aka Brighton-based actor Mark Williams – paid them a visit. The star was there to open the new wing of the school. The children were all very excited to meet the wizard, but sadly he didn’t give any insider gossip on the latest film. [See also Latest News.]

Have you spotted a celeb in the city? comment@thelatest.co.uk

Jo Brooks is director of Brighton-based PR company JBPR Ltd, 01273 622555, www.jb-pr.com Send celebrity spots, gossip and pictures to job@jb-pr.com

follow me on twitter

latestcelebcity

ONLY JOKING!

Bare cheek Brian Mitchell & Joseph Nixon’s thoroughly scurrilous Brighton column

Choice cuts

As we’ve already discussed, the government of privately-schooled millionaires have decreed that we should all live a hand-to-mouth existence for the next 50 years and it’s the turn of Brighton Council to tighten its belt, but where should the axe fall? We here at Bare Cheek welcome your suggestions They should burn down Brighton Pier too. Then we could all claim the insurance money. Pete Jansen, Aldrington

I think the best thing would be for a reduction in staff numbers at the council. This need not be through any compulsory redundancies, but could be accomplished over time through retirements, employees moving on to work elsewhere, and some light culling... Ken Healey, Hove The children of the unemployed should be used to staff the Tarner Children’s Centre. I don’t see how there could be any objection to that! Colonel F.T.S. Lunatic, Shoreham

As well as the real-time units, Friday Ad adverts, or “Fradverts”, as I like to call ’em, could be included in the messages found in the middle of our famous sticks of rock, so rather than saying “BRIGHTON” it would say “2001 VAUXHALL VECTRA 2.6 AVERAGE CONDITION. LIME GREEN. SOME DAMAGE TO BACK BUMPER. £750 ONLY. CALL 00273 762327. ASK FOR FRED” Fred Paloma, Brighton

FOR THE BEST TV, FILM AND VIDEO AT THE MOST AFFORDABLE PRICES LATEST TV 01273 687171 (Angi) or 07834 222342 (Bill) Check out thelatest.tv to see the quality of our work

Surely it's obvious! If we all pull together, roll up our sleeves, and are willing to undertake the sort of tasks that it was once taken for granted a responsible member of society would perform for his neighbour, as Mr. Cameron has said, then we wouldn’t need half of the services that our exorbitant Council Taxes are supposedly paying for. For example, the man next door to me has a hedge-trimmer and very kindly keeps both our grass verges tidy. In exchange, every time he goes to see Brighton and Hove United play away, I sleep with his wife, who is no oil painting, believe me. So you see, these things can work. Up the Big Society! Colonel P.G.T.R Galloway (Retired), Patcham

In & Out SPECIAL “ONCE POPULAR WEBSITES” EDITION

In • AOL • Bebo • TV Go Home • Friendster • Hamster Dance Out • Napster • MySpace • Popbitch • Friends Reunited • Times Online

The digital display, real-time units at our bus stops could carry adverts from the Friday Ad, such as: “FOR SALE. THREE TIERED UNIT. BEECH 4 SHELVES CORNER OR STRAIGHT UNIT HEIGHT 23INS WIDTH 24INS, VERY GOOD CONDITION £20 ONO. 00273 762327. ASK FOR FRED." Fred Paloma, Brighton

A couple of issue ago I wrote in to say I thought there should be a higher tax on parkin, the delicious spiced North Country comestible. I meant, of course, to say Parking. Apologies. An increased charge on parkin would be, on reflection, untenable. I do, however, feel there might be some mileage in taxing rock cakes. And immigrants. Mr. S. Travers, Patcham

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It seems to me that every year at this time the council spends an awful lot of money...well a bit of money... well about a fiver it looks like... on Christmas lights. “To what end?” I ask. Maybe they should be used to carry adverts in the style of the popular sales magazine, The Friday Ad. One such advertisement might read, ex gratis, “FRED – MAN WITH A VAN. £30 PER HOUR. NO PIANOS. CALL 00273 762327. ASK FOR FREDERICK PALOMA, BRIGHTON." Fred Paloma, Brighton

EVENTS E T A R O P GS / COR ADVERTS VIDEOS / WEDDIN TRAINING / PHOTOGRAPHY ND TV PARTIES CTS FOR FILM A S C EFFE LATEST VIRAL I R E H P S O ATM S / THE O E D I V C I MUS

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L7 INTERVIEW

BURNS BABY BURNS Award-winning comic Brendon Burns talks to Victoria Nangle about religion, clean sets and becoming a British comedy patriot again

Congratulations on having a new show. I caught it in Edinburgh and I really enjoyed it... Did you?! It split the room! People that loved it really loved it, and the people that didn't love it actually kinda had to label it as some sort of right wing Christian rant. It seemed quite the opposite... Thank you. It did, didn’t it? I’m glad someone picked up on it! How would you describe it if I was going to quote you on it? Hmm... I think it was actually me just trying to learn how to express what I've always felt. Which, y'know, is a big task. You do seem happier in this show. Is this because of recent events or are you just too exhausted to keep being angry at it? I haven’t been that angry for a long time and any time I was – on stage – I was kind of putting it on. But yeah, I think the rage kind of subsided some four or five years ago. Do you think this might lead to us seeing you more on TV? I just finished doing a series of Stand-Up Hero that I host that’s going to air. I think it takes four or five years before they check and go, you know what, it doesn’t look like he’s going back to what he was any time soon. Once every five years I have this exact same conversation with a television executive. They go: ‘say whatever you want!’ And then I listen to them, and I'm not allowed to work on television for another five years. [laughs.] You don’t think they really mean it, do you? No. They do what they want and then I think I kind of get labeled as just one thing. Like okay, you can only do this. I've been working in the States over the whole of October, actually trying to hone a clean set for the late night talk show circuit, for Letterman and all that lot. It’s funny actually: a clean set in America and a clean set in the UK are very different. Sexual content is okay in the UK, but social and political... you have to take one stand and one stand alone. On everything. You can’t be ambiguous? I would say that if you’ve got the right posh accent you can be ambiguous [laughs]. They will accept that. What can't you talk about in the States? Uh, generally they don't want fluids on television. Yeah, basically bodily fluids! Letterman himself is not keen on fluids. Or going after the weak. How has this clean set come together? Fine. I taped a lot of it as an extra for the DVD on this show (released later this year), so you'll see the different set there. But also it’s a far more multi-racial audience in the US. I love that

connection of talking to people of different cultural backgrounds to me. And finding humour in that. And then laughing. The title of your show must appeal across the board... I hope so. Although someone sent me a Facebook message saying ‘are you a Hindu?’ To which I said no. And they said: ‘can you take the image down? It’s offensive’. I wanted to write back and go: ‘Well, I’ve been depicted on the cross before. Does that even it up for you?’

“I need to put my head above the parapet and the only way anyone can do that is by being their individual selves” What do you think the key to success is in comedy? Being true to yourself, but be true to what’s going on with you. Be real, y’know? I’ve picked up some bad habits recently, going to a new circuit and trying to be noticed and so on. I use all the tricks in my arsenal. Then I tear the roof off the place but then walk off feeling really empty. I just called it ‘killing timelessly’. I need to put my head above the parapet and the only way anyone can really do that is just by being their individual selves. I’ve become a British comedic patriot again as well. After being in New York and hearing endless guys.. [complaining]. An American comic wasn't received in Britain the way he wanted to be and somehow thought it was my fault, and also my obligation to sit there and listen to him rant and write off the most successful circuit in the world... The funny thing is, I’d had my own problems with the British circuit, in the ‘party line’. There is a certain social and political feel with comics that you pretty much know their stand before they even open their mouth. There’s no surprises, y'know? And that's not what I look for in a comic. There’s a great more deal of variety these days... Oh yeah, there is. I’m a British patriot again! Those were the issues I was having, and then having gone to New York and hearing every guy claim: ‘If you can play here, you can play the world’, and then watching their 12 minutes of sassy chutzpah, and I was thinking ‘no, you really can’t!’ I've done gigs on the outskirts of townships in Africa. And they wouldn't take too kindly to your bulls*** lampooning. What do you believe in? It gives away the end of the show if I say, doesn't it? Actually, do you know what I really believe in? I’m just doing my upmost to keep my selfish p**** at bay. [laughs.] Brendon Burns –Y’Know, Love ‘n’ God ‘n’ Metaphysics ’n’ S***, Thursday 25 November, Komedia, 8pm, £15. www.komedia.co.uk/brighton

018_021_LS502_AOH _Seven Editorial 18/11/2010 16:10 Page 2

CHRISTMAS ARTISTS OPEN HOUSES

Alison Petty: Hove Lawns 2009 (Little Box of Tricks)

OPEN SEASON’S GREETINGS Latest 7 finds Brighton and Hove’s most stylish annual Christmas shopping experience is at the Artists Open Houses

magine Christmas shopping, but in the comfort of someone’s home. We don’t mean sitting on a computer and shopping for the latest offers online either. We are talking about browsing exclusive, individual, quirky handmade gifts and sipping a glass of mulled wine besides a blazing log-fire. This is the reality of the Christmas Artists Open Houses – the unique alternative to the horrors of high street Christmas shopping and an annual tradition in Sussex that has quickly become a firm favourite. This year, 83 venues will open their doors over three weekends: 27–28 November, 4–5 and 11–12 December. Some venues open their doors for the whole three weeks; others open at selected weekends. As well as paintings, prints and sculpture, there are ceramics, jewellery, textiles, lighting, home-furnishings, cards and a variety of Christmas decorations on offer. With so many Open Houses clustered within easy walking distance of one another, it is easy to spend an entire afternoon visiting them all, meeting the artists and makers, browsing the work and indulging in the odd mince pie or two. Many of the Open Houses sell homemade teas and cakes in aid of local charities. In last May’s Artists Open Houses, over £250 was raised by one house alone for The Martlets Hospice. The Christmas Artists Open Houses offer up a feast of work at all price ranges. It’s the ideal solution to all your Christmas present dilemmas. Here you will track down that elusive present for a friend or family member of all ages. Choose from an eclectic range of bunting, tea towels, fabulous creatures, tin toys, leather purses, place mats, tea-

lights, knitted hats and scarves, cufflinks, mittens and pet accessories. Experiences range from boxing and burlesque in the bathroom, an evening of Queer Songs and Readings, an Alice In Winter Wonderland installation, synaesthetic paintings, kids’ workshops, print and photography gift vouchers, litter bugs and John Mills’ amazing ‘Mr Watts’ children’s books.

The city-wide Christmas Open Houses stretch from West Hove to Rottingdean, with more venues in Ditchling, Newhaven and South Heighton. Houses will show work of artists of all ages and from all walks of life; some will even display exciting work by school and college students. The Christmas Artists Open Houses are full of magical encounters to engage and surprise visitors. There really is something to be found for everyone.

Graham Carter: Snow Bound (Boxbird Gallery Studios)

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CHRISTMAS ARTISTS OPEN HOUSES

Victor Stuart Graham: Cliffscapes (Christmas at Victors)

Studio One

Open House highlights At Quebec Street alongside The Black Rabbitâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s knitted toys and other artwork, you can buy wonderful quirky gifts and paintings, produced by adults with learning difficulties. The Brighton Oasis Project will showcase work of women and young people affected by drug and alcohol misuse. Taking part in a photography project, they use cameras to explore their lives, relationships and surroundings. The work is shown along with other more established artists and makers. View their work and support their valuable charity.

Fiona Hewitt (Wu & Wu)

Tom Frost: Circus (Boxbird Gallery Studios)

Christmas Kiosk @ 33 Coventry Street

Miranda Vincent: Woman Impersonating Being A Plane (The Bungeroosh Gallery)

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CHRISTMAS ARTISTS OPEN HOUSES

At St Dunstan’s, artwork and crafts made by partially sighted ex-service men and women can be seen alongside work of the St Dunstan’s staff. The St Dunstan’s craft workshop members will also take visitors on a conducted tour of the splendid Francis Lorne designed 1930s building. Elsewhere, at the new A& E Gallery in Cheltenham Place, visitors are invited to celebrate 25 years of video gaming, where some of Brighton’s leading illustrators and designers pay tribute to their all-time favourite video games. Take part in a multi-player face-off against your favourite artist, or prove your retro gaming skills in a Nintendo tournament. Visit a taxidermist in Washington Street and a doctor of Asian kitschology in Wilbury Grove. In Norfolk Road, buy Pup Aid charity Christmas cards, and have your portrait done in a pop-up studio. In Coventry Street there’s a glamorous take on a traditional street kiosk offering an abundance of gifts for under £10 – with a free cup of cinnamon popcorn thrown in with every purchase. At The Cow Shed, guest artists include the designer of iconic Pink Floyd albums The Division Bell and The Dark Side of The Moon. Christmas is truly celebrated at the Artists Open Houses, with a plethora of Christmas trees, Christmas wreaths and Christmas cards.

• Venue opening times and dates may vary, so be sure to check individual brochure listings. Some venues have chosen to open on the weekends of the 20/21 November and 18/19 December.

Christmas tree decorations of every sort – from glass snowflakes to Japanese temari thread balls – can be found in many houses. Here you will also find hampers stuffed with delicious homemade Christmas goodies and vintage crockery. Hot spiced perry, honeyed vodka, hot sweet chai and Swedish Glögg will all help to get you in the Christmas mood.

Draw-The-Line Cards and Stationery (Brighton Oasis Project)

Christmas starts here! This is just a small selection of this year’s Christmas Artists Open Houses. The Christmas Artists Open Houses brochures with complete listings are now available at venues throughout the city including Brighton Dome Box office, Brighton and Hove Museums, the Town Hall and Jubilee Library, as well as in all 83 Open Houses. Visit www.aoh.org.uk to find out more and to find links to many of the artists’ and makers’ own websites. To download the AOH iPhone app, visit Apple’s iPhone apps store and search for AOH. The app allows users to keep all details of the venues in their pockets, filter to select those nearby, and mark and locate venues you are especially interested in. www.aoh.org.uk

Unlimited: Brighton Fontmap, silver foil embossed on black (Unlimited Editions)

• Please remember that most houses are unable to accept plastic, so bring cheque-books or cash. • The majority of venues are ordinary homes and may not have disabled access. Please check whether a disabled symbol is shown in venues listings, or check the online disabled access page.

Marion Brandis: Naughty Insects Teapot (The Thistle House)

Rupert Davis: New York, New York II (Brighton Fishing Quarter)

The Black Rabbit: Loopy Lapin and Bare Bear (The Quebec Art House)

018_021_LS502_AOH _Seven Editorial 18/11/2010 14:56 Page 5

CHRISTMAS ARTISTS OPEN HOUSES

Liz Toole: Butterfly Leaves (The Quebec Art House)

Fleur Oakes: In My Garden I Am Queene 1 (The Old Forge) Amy Williams: Circus Girl (Studio 78)

Chris Lewis: Dancing Spirits (South Heighton Pottery)

Rupert Davies: Falls III (Brighton Fishing Quarter)

Dana Leigh: Orbit Earrings (Brighton Oasis Project)

Julia Trigg: Signals no.3 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Tower (Unlimited Editions)

Rex Matthews: Moroccan Study No.3

022_023_LS502_food _015_LS466_food 18/11/2010 16:38 Page 2

ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK

Food & Drink Andrew Kay’s second day of gastronomic Moroccan with hipmarrakech.com

Spice surprise I

awoke on my second day in Riad Darhani to a fabulous breakfast of breads, pastries and really good coffee. But there was little time to waste before my driver, the delightful Hassan, was ready to whisk me off to Zamzam. At Zamzam I met Emma, who would be leading my day of cooking with the cook at her super stylish Riad. Marrakech taxis are quite an experience. They drive as if using the brakes is an offence or an admission of not being manly. Hence no-one ever stops; they simply slow down and weave in and out of danger. It’s exhilarating. Zamzam is super chic and offers a spa experience with dedicated weekends throughout the year including yoga and meditation and Reiki. However, I was here for the food. In the courtyard tables were set out and piled with ingredients and spices. We started with tea and a chat and then we headed off to the market with the cook, a valuable experience in itself. We watched as she selects fresh produce and we met the olive and the chicken man before returning with a full trolley. We were to make the dish I had eaten the night before along with a selection of salads. I am no novice in the kitchen and here I hope to discover new things. And I did. The biggest surprise was that the spices are all added to the dry tagine without frying. We have all been told that frying releases the flavour but here I learn this isn’t always true.

“Where they find almonds so large, so sweet and so utterly delicious, I do not know” The chicken, I have to say, was better than the restaurant’s dish from the previous night. The salads were also unfamiliar and involved a lot of cooking (including the carrots – for a scarily long time, but they did taste great). Zamzam cookery classes are fantastic and include the meal and a glass of wine at the end of the course. When you work it out they are great value for money and very informative and entertaining. That evening I visited a restaurant run as a women’s co-operative. It sounded odd, but in fact was rather smart, once again, and formal. The food at Al Fassia was amazing and having a more European-style menu meant I

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ANDREW KAY’S FOOD & DRINK did not eat as much as the night before. They famously do a shoulder of lamb, which I so wanted to try, but it was for two. They wisely advised me it would be too much. When my food arrived in single portions I could see why. I started with a beer. The weather was hot and I needed refreshing, plus the beer was called Casablanca so it had to be done. My starter of small pastries was a delight: tiny crispy packages filled with either meat, fish, vegetables or cheese. I liked the cheese the most and could have eaten them all night. To follow, I had a tagine, this one of lamb with almonds. Where they find almonds so large, so sweet and so utterly delicious, I do not know. It was truly divine with piles of mildly spiced meat that simply fell apart if you so much as glanced at it. The cous cous was a revelation: a soft fluffy cloud of tiny pasta beads that almost defied gravity with tender vegetables – the best of which are the turnips and radishes. I have never had turnips as good as in Marrakech. I was far too full for dessert as I had already had a substantial lunch, but I did manage a half bottle of very good local Rosé and a litre of fizzy water. Hip Marrakech did a superb job getting me there and showing me the food delights of the city. My Riad was superb and the service impeccable, friendly but discreet, rather like staying with friends. I can’t wait to go back and when I do it will certainly be with hipmarrakech.com. My trip was organised by hipmarrakech.com. Visit thier website for full details of all the riads on offer, prices and availability. Alternatively, call 0871 6634304 in the UK or 0208 816 7065. Would you like to know more about cookery courses? andrew@thelatest.co.uk

ENJOY CHRISTMAS AT

THE NEW ELIZABETHAN COTTAGE TANDOORI

130/136 Old London Road, Patcham, BN1 8YA

A FABULOUS FAMILY CHRISTMAS LUNCH CHRISTMAS DAY LUNCH SPECIAL MENU

PAPADUM & CHUTNEY STARTERS (choose one) Chicken Chat, Onion Bhajee, Tandoori Chicken, Samosa (meat or vegetable), Chicken or Vegetable Soup (also available with hot chilli) ELIZABETHAN SPECIAL MAIN COURSE (choose one) Hydrabadi Chicken (mild) Gowan Chicken Mossala (medium), Garlic Chilli Chicken (hot) Mixed Curry (Prawn, Chicken & Meat - medium) Fish Tikka, Fish Mossala SIDE DISHES (choose one) Banana Bhajee, Pineapple Bhajee, Onion Bhajee, Bombay Potato, Sag Aloo SWEET OR COFFEE

£18.99 PER PERSON

(Drinks not included ) - (King Prawn dishes £2.50 extra)

SPECIAL MOUTHWATERING DISH KULCHI CHICKEN - A FULL FOUR COURSE MEAL Choose starter & side dish from above

£27.50 PER PERSON (Advanced order required) (For 4 people including 1 bottle of wine - red or white)

To reserve your table tel: 01273 507075 10% Service Charge

light bites THE SPANISH FOOD COMPANY

For those of us who grew up with the horror of terrible Christmas food hampers then it’s time to think again. I was recently treated to the delights of one filled with goodies from Spain. So it’s out with Ye Olde Oak and in with the Jamón ibérico. Coming in a variety of sizes starting at £30 and rising to £100, the hampers arrive stylishly packed in matte black boxes tied with a black ribbon and filled with wood shavings rather than drab polystyrene. But it’s the food that really delights. My hamper contained two very large sausages. The slicing chorizo is as good as it comes, sweet and peppery and with the right amount of fat to keep it moist. The Salchichón is definitely a cut above your average salami with a good hit of garlic. At 550g each these are no mean sausages and are easily kept once opened. The Los Cameros goat cheese weighs in at an impressive 650g, that’s a lot of cheese and a lot of very good cheese.

It has a distinctive flavour and a texture akin to a quality Lancashire cheese. I’ve sliced it, crumbled it and added it to sauces too. It’s remarkably versatile but best cut into chunks and eaten in secret. A jar of peeled piquillo peppers reminded me how good preserved foods can be. Sweet and smoky with a mild heat, these are peppers at the top of their game. A bottle of Santa Marta extra virgin olive oil is smooth and full of flavour but not too hefty, so ideal for every day use. These hampers would be very welcome gifts for anyone who loves great foods. Hampers from £30 plus shipping thespanishfoodcompany.co.uk 01273 623335 follow me on twitter

latestandrew

024_LS502_Hotlist_Hotlist 18/11/2010 15:27 Page 2

HOTLIST

L7 Hotlist Eateries and bars catering for all tastes. For more dining options visit www.thelatest.co.uk American

The Restaurant At Drakes

Enjoy fabulous American-inspired food – including mammoth home-made burgers (beef, chicken and vegetarian), locally smoked ribs and sizzling steaks – at Rock & Roller. Upstairs you’ll find an entire floor dedicated to pool, with five tables to choose from. Join the Pool Loyalty Scheme – play nine hours and get a tenth hour free. Rock & Roller, 95 Western Rd, Brighton, BN1 2LB, 01273 710014, www.rock8roller.co.uk

With an air of relaxed glamour, exemplary service and the finest modern European cuisine in town, the 2AA Rosette fine-dining restaurant provides the perfect setting for intimate dinners or private parties. Two courses for £29; three courses for £39; fivecourse Gourmet Chef’s Taster Menu for £50 and the Christmas Party Menu for £40. Private dining room with designated waiter for up to 12 people. 43–44 Marine Parade, Brighton, BN2 1PE, 01273 696934, www.drakesofbrighton.com

British & modern European

Chinese

Bardsley’s

Gars Restaurant

Rock & Roller

Probably Brighton’s most popular fish ’n’ chip shop and restaurant with a large loyal clientele. Traditional and family-run with favourites and excellent daily fish specials. Open for lunch and dinner Tuesday to Saturday, it’s also a great party venue. There are massive fish platters and seasonal seafood, plus vegetarian choices. 22–23a Baker Street, Brighton, BN1 4JN, 01273 681256

The Dyke

Superb rustic Tuscan menu mingled with English classics. Locally sourced or organic ingredients and rapidly gaining a reputation as one of Brighton’s most stylish eateries. One side is a proper pub with excellent real ales and log fire; the other a very grown-up stylish restaurant. It’s very child (and dog!) friendly too, and has a big garden for those late summer evenings. Lunch 12pm–3pm; dinner 6.30pm–9.45pm. 218 Dyke Road, Brighton, 01273 555672, www.dykepub.co.uk

This old Brighton favourite offers an exciting menu with some great new ideas and a wholly different experience in terms of style and presentation. Smart service, beautiful interiors and a chic atmosphere make this one of the city’s top places to be seen. Start downstairs at the bar. Eat from £10. 19 Prince Albert Street, Brighton 01273 321321, www.gars.co.u

Rock & Roller

Coffee shop

French

Spinelli

Cocoa Patisserie

Great coffee and light snacks at this original and very popular Kemp Town Village café and now a fuller American menu at their new branch in St James’s Street. Look out for great pancakes, cobb salads and burgers as well as the full English. 24 Garnet House, College Road, 01273 818819, & 111 St James’s Street Brighton, 01273 818084, www.spinellicoffee.co.uk

Cocoa is an authentic French patisserie near Brighton Station. Everything is homemade on the premises each morning with the finest ingredients. A selection of pastries, cakes, tarts, biscuits, jams, ice creams, sandwiches, quiches, toasties and salads to eat in or take away. Beautiful cakes made to order. 48 Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XB, 01273 777412

New Steine Bistro

“With more than a soupçon of Gallic charm The New Steine Bistro are true bon viveurs. No fancy pants fashion fads here, but some well executed classics. Most importantly though is their open attitude: everyone gets the same charming welcome – guests and diners, locals and visitors alike – and when you have been once, you will want to return again and again.” – Andrew Kay, L7 food writer). Their reasonably priced menu starts at £12.50 for two courses, £14.50 for three, Sunday to Thursday; £16.50 for two courses, £18.50 for three on Friday and Saturday. A la carte menu available. Open 6pm. 10/11 New Steine, Brighton, BN2 1PB, 01273 681546/695415 www.newsteinehotel.com/restaurant.asp

Indian Chaula’s

Chaula’s is renowned for its signature dishes, distinctive décor and friendly staff. All meals are made fresh to order and every curry has its own distinctively flavoured sauce. Also a wide variety of vegetarian, vegan and gluten and wheat-free dishes. Buffet available 11am–3pm Monday to Saturday. Eastgate House, 6 Eastgate Street, Lewes, BN7 2LP, 01273 476707, www.chaulas.co.uk

The Chilli Pickle

Winner of two AA Rosette awards, The Chilli Pickle is an Indian bistro in the heart of the North Lanes. The food is regional Indian cuisine executed at the highest level. Lunch is packed full of Indian street food as well as a good selection of Thalis, Kathi Kebabs and the ever popular Masala Dosa. Sumptuous feasts at dinner include the national award-winning Oxtail Madras. Belgian Beers, Original IPA, luxury loose teas and a well thought out wine list also feature. 42 Meeting House Lane, Brighton, 01273 323824, www.thechillipicklebistro.co.uk

Italian Donatello

Flagship venue of this local family-run business serving excellent value Italian food in

stylish surroundings. Brilliant-value meal deals on blackboards outside – two courses £6.95, three £8.95 – as well as à la carte. The haunt of celebs in season from soap stars to politicos. Fun, friendly and fabulous value. Brighton Place, Brighton BN1 1HJ, 01273 775477, www.donatello.co.uk

Fat Leo

The budget branch of the Donatello stable but you’d be hard-pressed to see why. Quality family dining in the Italian mould but a little less expensive. Popular with students and young families, with trendy interiors, and a menu with the signature set-price boards proclaiming any two courses £5.95, and three at £7.95. 16–17 Market Street, Brighton BN1 1HH, 01273 325135, www.fatleo.co.uk

Japanese Moshi Moshi

Is there a better and cooler place to eat Japanese in Brighton? We don’t think so, and neither do Moshi Moshi’s ever-growing fan base. Their sushi is fantastic, the service great, and they’ve won a brace of awards for their work in fish conservation. If you’re not yet a Moshi member, you’re missing out: their 50% off on Moshi Mondays are a phenomenom. Opticon, Bartholomew Square, Brighton, BN1 1JS, 01273 719195, www.moshibrighton.co.uk

Spanish Agua Dulce

If you like your tapas authentic then this is the place for you. Brilliant traditional Spanish food with regional specialities in relaxed surroundings. Superb meat, fish and seafood tapas plus excellent larger dishes like their honey roast milk lamb. Paella, sangria... all that’s missing is the Mediterranean sun. Agua Dulce 10-11 Kings Road, Brighton, BN1 1NE, 01273 328672. www.aguadulce-restaurant.com

Thai Sawadee

Sawadee Thai Restaurant has been offering a warm welcome on St James’s Street to regular customers and new visitors to Brighton for nearly 10 years. Their experienced Thai chefs cook to order, so every dish is freshly made and comes to your table straight from wok or grill. The menu features plenty of seafood, simple grilled meats, traditional thai curries and tasty stir-fry dishes. Their set menus and lunch platters are a great way to try lots of different Thai tastes. Sawadee Thai Restaurant, 87 St James’s Street, Brighton, BN2 1TP, 01273 624233, www.sawadeethai.co.uk

To add your entry to our Hotlist call Advertising on 01273 818150

025_LS502_W101_WaveWorld_016_W93 LS468_NiaFestival 18/11/2010 15:05 Page 3

wave 25

WAVE WORLD Health & beauty news, reviews & giveaways MINISTRY OF SOUND – PUMP IT UP WORKOUT DVD

It’s a timely release for Ministry Of Sound’s latest workout DVD. Hitting the stores on 27 December (so just after the turkey and Christmas puddings are finished), this latest DVD is the most refreshing outing so far from the MOS crew. We had a sneak peek and can’t wait for its release! Gareth Walker returns to lead you through the all over body blast and tone up. The Pump It Up workout features the best bits of the previous DVDs, but keeps it fresh with a new format. Practise fun and funky dance moves in the Shake It, Move It section; try out streetdance in Pop It, Lock It and get a complete aerobic workout with Burn It, Lose It. As well as

has been working with an American chemist to develop its own brand, salt and alcohol-free dry shampoo for pooches. ‘Anytime’ foaming mousse shampoo is pumped from a dispenser and massaged dry into a dog’s coat. It air-dries to leave a gentle mango and pomegranate fragrance. “Salt is usually added to bulk out a shampoo and make it lather,” says Joanna Way of Dogs & Co. “And alcohol is added to remove grease from hairs – which also include oils that are essential to keep a dog’s coat in good condition. Together salt and alcohol can be very drying to a dog’s eyes, fur and skin. The ‘Anytime’ alternative is proving very popular because it also cuts down the need to bathe frequently. And it’s very economical to use as it’s a foaming mousse, which goes a long way.” Visit www.dogsandco.com or call 01352 740174.

NEW SUPPLEMENTS

This month, new food supplement, Immiflex, is on our wellbeing shopping list. Containing Wellmine WGP, Immiflex helps kickstart the immune system, reducing instances of cold and flu – making it perfect for this time of year. If pre-Christmas stress is setting in, causing you to feel run down, Immiflex can also help. Studies have shown those with moderate levels of stress benefit. Just as exercise keeps our bodies in shape, Immiflex can help keep our immune system in check. Immiflex costs £16.30 for 30 days. Available from independent health food stores and www.nutricentre.com

WIN!

great dance moves to learn (it hardly feels like you’re working out!), the superb MOS soundtrack features Black Eyed Peas, Rihanna and Dizzee Rascal. It’s too new to add to your Christmas wish list, but we have two copies to give away to lucky readers. For the chance to win just tell us: Who did Rihanna collaborate with on the single ‘Love The Way You Lie’? Email your answer to competitions@thelatest.co.uk with ‘Ministry Of Sound’ in the subject box. Don’t forget to leave your name and contact details. Closing date for entries: 13 December 2010.

‘ANYTIME’ DOG SHAMPOO

Something for the pet in your life now... The North Wales family-run pet product business, Dogs & Co,

026_LS502_W101_Revitalise _016_W93 LS468_NiaFestival 19/11/2010 13:16 Page 2

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Top to toe treatments

Wave prepares for the Christmas party season with beauty therapies at Revitalise

weezing, waxing, plucking and moisturising. It’s the ultimate girls’ night in, all in aid of a great girls’ night out. But DIY waxing kits can lead to disaster... dry, blotchy skin and over plucked brows anyone? In preparation for the festive party season, which is very much upon us, it’s best to leave the hard work to the experienced therapists at Revitalise. Your job? Relax and be pampered. Then you’ll be ready for that allimportant festive bash and New Year’s Eve party in style. Wave rounds up the best beauty therapies on offer at Revitalise, which should be on every wish list this Christmas.

Beauty fix Revitalise in Hove is a central therapy centre, popular for its extensive class list covering everything from Power Plates to yoga. Their beauty therapies on offer are less known – until now. For brows that have seen better days, eyebrow shaping is the answer. One treatment is quick, easy and more pain-free then tackling them with the tweezers at home. The results can totally transform your face. Keeping your brows well-groomed will draw attention to a common favourite feature – the eyes. Eyelash tinting is perfect to create striking eyes without having to bother with lashings of mascara and panda eyes won’t be a problem. If your lashes are really fair, tinting can be great for defining them. Revitalise use natural products with all their beauty treatments, meaning better care for your skin and the environment too. Waxing can treat all size areas from the legs and back to the underarms and face. If you’re plagued by home waxing nightmares, don’t let it put you off. A professional therapist will make you feel at ease and make it as pain-free an experience as possible. What’s more, with waxing you get perfectly smooth skin with results that last, making it the ideal option now for Christmas and beyond. Treat your feet and your fingernails too with a luxury manicure and pedicure. Well-groomed nails in a hot new colour for your festive party is an instant mood booster. The result is longer lasting when applied by a beauty therapist as each coat is applied meticulously. How many times have we started to do the housework not long after painting our nails or not bothered at all with a second coat or top coat at home?

Face facts A relaxing facial can rejuvenate tired and dull complexions. Cold weather and central heating can all take its toll on our skin. A holistic facial is an indulgent treat with essential oils, gentle massage and glowing results. If you prefer to pamper yourself in the comfort of your own home, the Revitalise health shop stocks the full range of Dr Hauschka skin care products. For mature skin, Revitalise offers Hialurox, a unique anti-aging skin rejuvenation treatment. This therapy diminishes wrinkles by putting Hyaluronic Acid back into your skin with the help of a cold laser. At an early age, we generate substantial quantities of Hyaluronic Acid. By the age of 40, we produce around 50 per cent less. By the age of 60 we have barely 10 per cent of what we produced at birth. Hialurox is an effective alternative to skin rejuvenation treatments such as Botox. Revitalise is currently offering the first Hialurox session for just £75 (normally £110). To book an appointment or for more information call 01273 738389 or visit www.revitalise-u.co.uk Revitalise, 86 Church Road, Hove, 01273 738389, www.revitalise-u.co.uk

027_LS502_W101_KevinM/Xmas_016_W93 LS468_NiaFestival 18/11/2010 15:26 Page 3

wave 27

Eco-Xmas Wave talks to Joanna Yarrow of Wilderness Wood in Sussex about how to have an ethical Christmas

he festive season is responsible for over 5.5% of our annual carbon footprint. Reduce yours with our guide to an eco-friendly festive holiday. Joanna Yarrow is a leading expert in green living. She grew up in Wilderness Wood, Sussex, and took over the business with her partner, Jonathan, in spring 2010. As they prepare for Christmas at the popular wood, Joanna shares tips on having a sustainable and happy Christmas 2010.

Keep it real There are many reasons to fake it when it comes to the Christmas tree. Artificial trees are easier to manoeuvre, simple to store and can give you years of use meaning great value for money. Also, you won’t be picking pine needles out the carpet in February! However, a live tree brings the true magic of Christmas into your home with its colour and smell. Not only that, they’re renewable too. Find a local, sustainably sourced tree this year. In 2009, over eight

Give ethically Locally sourced organic food hampers make a great gift for relatives of all ages. Support local businesses by buying a hamper of locally sourced produce. Hampers are ideal for large families or elder relatives living on their own. For clothing, toys and homeware, keep it eco-friendly by shopping at local fairtrade stores and markets. At Wilderness Wood, visitors can purchase unique gifts made from timber grown in the wood. Traditional toys and stocking fillers can also be found.

Christmas wreath hanging outside the Barn café and restaurant, Wilderness Wood

million Christmas trees were sold in the UK, with half of those being imported. “It’s silly to import Christmas trees,” says Joanna. “We can grow the trees just as well here, supporting the rural economy and producing far less pollution.”

Burn it off Mother and child picking their Christmas tree at Wilderness Wood

Image ©Country Living Maga zine

Be crafty

Christmas tree growing on the plantation at Wilderness Wood

‘Make your own’ is as popular as ever. Create your own festive cards, adding a personal touch to the holiday season. Friends and family will really appreciate the effort and it’s a great rainy day activity. Create your own gift cards and decorations too. “I love making my own decorations: garlands from popcorn, hanging decorations and gift cards,” says Joanna. “Pine cones on ribbons and oranges stuck with cloves and strung up with colourful ribbon all bring character to a tree or table.”

Image ©Country Living Magazine

Make the most of the time off work and being with friends and family. And we don’t just mean sitting down to the Christmas soap marathon on television (there’s always an omnibus or recording option so you can catch up!). After your Christmas feast, walk it off (and play and run), making the most of the daylight hours. It’s a great time for kids to try out their new toys too. “Over Christmas we each travel around 50 miles further than usual,” Joanna says. “This generates around 96 kg of CO² just in our cars. And when we’re not stuck in traffic there’s a temptation to hunker down in front of the TV or games console...” Keep a happy medium and Christmas can be a merry one for all. Wilderness Wood is the family-run sustainable woodland in the Sussex Weald.Visit Wilderness Wood for Christmas trees, food, gifts, picturesque walks and festive creative workshops. Open all year round except Christmas Day. Wilderness Wood, Hadlow Down, East Sussex, TN22 4HJ, 01825 830509, www.wildernesswood.co.uk

HAIR STORY

Wave finds ethical haircare brand Kevin Murphy has the perfect products for gorgeous locks Anti Gravity oil free volumiser – “A body-boosting cream for use on damp hair. Only a pea-size amount is needed to give hair lift. Be sure to rub your palms together first to ensure even distribution through the hair length”

Angel Wash and Angel Rinse for fine, coloured hair – “Impressive in its ethics in that it avoids harmful plastics in its make up, and it smells nice too. It’s difficult to rinse completely though so a very small amount is needed”

Born Again Essential Treatment – “A light and intensive conditioning treatment ideal to nourish dry ends of the hair. Rinses clean and leaves hair soft and supple”

Easy Rider anti-frizz creme – “Leaves hair frizz-free even after it’s been rained on! Lovely packaging and a good product overall, but I wasn’t too impressed with the aroma”

Kevin Murphy organic (toxin and paraben free) products are available to buy and are used in the salon at 90 Degrees Hairdressing, 20b Norfolk Square, Brighton, BN1 2PD, 01273 778330.

028_LS502_W101_CNM_CNM 18/11/2010 11:15 Page 2

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Dear Jacquie Your health queries answered with Jacquie Lane, from the College of Naturopathic Medicine I suffer from what my doctor describes as mild depression. I don’t want to take antidepressants. Can diet help? RM, Brighton Diet and lifestyle play a huge part in our mental health. If your doctor has ruled out any medical contributions such as thyroid dysfunction, then address your diet. When making food decisions, remember that what you eat directly and indirectly influences your energy levels, moods, food cravings, stress levels, sleep habits and inherited genetic traits. Some foods are known to be mood-lowering. Wheat is one of them, so try switching to rye breads instead. Reducing sugar in your diet will help stop your blood sugar levels swinging high and then low, causing mood swings. Choose good quality wholegrain carbohydrates such as porridge, oat cakes and brown rice, plus fruits and vegetables and good quality proteins.

Caffeine can also play havoc with our moods as it’s a stimulant that will be followed by a slump in energy. Try switching coffee for a dandelion or barley substitute. For tea try Rooibush or green tea. Cut the alcohol, as it makes depression worse by reducing the feel-good hormone serotonin, on which our moods rely. During the first hour of sleep serotonin turns into melatonin in the

pineal gland. This puts you into a deep sleep state and ignites your growth hormone to help you rejuvenate. Serotonin is manufactured from an amino acid called tryptophan, found in certain protein rich foods such as turkey, eggs, chicken, cottage cheese, cooked tofu, beans, lentils, legumes plus bananas and oats, so make sure you’re getting your fair share. Our brain is 60 per cent fat and needs essential fatty acids for cell protection and function so eat more of the brain enhancing Omega 3 foods such as fresh tuna, salmon, mackerel, sardines, herring, flaxseeds, nuts, seeds and avocados. There are many useful remedies available containing herbs and nutrients, which your nutritional advisor could prescribe. Finally, never underestimate the power of sunlight, exercise, self esteem, laughter, taking control over life’s issues and learning new subjects, which can give you a new purpose in life. If you have a general health query that you would like to raise here you can email Jacquie at healthqueriesforWave@naturopathy -uk.com. Please note that Jacquie cannot enter into individual correspondence unless your query is chosen for publication.

Jacquie Lane is a lecturer at the College of Naturopathic Medicine (CNM) and the Director of Studies at CNM in Brighton. Jacquie also runs her own nutrition clinic in Brighton and manages a biological testing lab specialising in digestive issues.

CNM open evening If you would like to train to become a nutritional therapist, please book to attend CNM’s next open evening in Brighton. 01342 410505, www.naturopathy-uk.com

029_LS502_W101_Bikram_016_W93 LS468_NiaFestival 18/11/2010 13:40 Page 1

wave 29 “Back in the ‘70s, Bikram was teaching yoga in Tokyo, winter to a group of ladies and they complained that “If I gave you a piece during it was too cold. One day this woman turned up with a heater and by the end of the week they had five electric heaters in of metal to shape it the room. Good things come from practising in a heated room; the body readily takes up more oxygen, you boost into something, what your cardiovascular system, and the associated increase in would you do with it?” perspiration provides a deep and cleansing detox. When you go into that room you can't mess around, because it gets your attention; you slow your breath down and you begin to concentrate, and your class becomes a moving meditation. “Bikram always uses the analogy: If I gave you a piece of metal and told you to shape it into something, what would you do with it? You would heat it up. When you warm the body up, you are able to work deeper.” Simon has a wealth of knowledge from his studies and teaching. He is also passionate and animated when it comes to talking about Bikram Choudhury, the man behind it all. “Bikram comes from a very traditional Indian background,” Simon explains. “In the Far East you go to the local yoga master and say I’ve got asthma or I've got a bad back... They would say ‘okay, you need to do this and this twice a day for the next two weeks and then come and see me agan’. This is how yoga postures have traditionally been administered. Bikram decided to create a class that provided an overall body workout and examination – which has shown again and again to both strengthen and heal as well as provide a wide range of preventive health benefits. So he created this sequence of 26 postures. The class has become so popular because it’s accessible for everyone. Zara Baker finds everyone is bending over Bikram has this phrase: ‘Inside out, fingertips to toes and bones to the skin.’ The entire body is looked at but the class remains the same, the integrity of the backwards to try the latest trend in yoga at class stays the same, and what’s different every day is you.” Bikram In The Lanes Everyone has their own reason for coming to Bikram’s yoga class. People may come for a few classes a week or practise yoga once a day. “We are open meet Simon Goddard of Bikram In The Lanes in the huge studio space on every day, including Christmas Day,” says Simon. “It becomes a North Street. A Bikram yoga class is in session so we sit outside the studio commitment – it’s not just like going to the gym. When you come here in a light-filled corridor that’s been transformed into an art gallery space. something happens to you with the way you feel, the way you see yourself, Simon, a native Brightonian, graduated as a Bikram yoga teacher in 2007. and the way you see the world.” Together with Bridgett Ane, an American national who also teaches, they It’s for those wanting to find peace in their hectic schedules. The heat and moved back to Brighton having sought and being granted permission from postures in the class work the entire body. Bikram yoga boosts energy levels, Bikram himself to open and run a yoga studio in an accessible, central reduces stress, and offers personal and emotional development for everyone. location. It is warm and bright when Simon and I sit down, but things are a lot Special offer for new students: two weeks of unlimited classes for just £20, hotter for the people in the yoga studio... plus 25% off any class package brought during the introductory fortnight. A lot of people think there is this big mystery about the heat in a Bikram yoga Bikram In The Lanes, 20 North Street, Brighton, BN1 1EB, 01273 733960, class. “The temperature in there is 42 centigrade or 105 fahrenheit,” says Simon. www.bikraminthelanes.com

Bikram’s way

030_033_LS502_previews_editorial 19/11/2010 09:22 Page 2

LATEST PREVIEWS STAGE

L7 Previews

THEATRE: HUGH THE DROVER (OR LOVE IN THE STOCKS) New Sussex Opera presents Vaughan Williams’ debut complete opera first seen in 1924. This radiantly lyrical work is rich in the English folk-music idiom dear to Vaughan Williams. Set in the Cotswolds in 1812, the plot centres around a prize-fight to win the hand of the beautiful Mary, which divides a tightly-knit community. Connaught Theatre, Worthing 25 November, 7.30pm www.worthingtheatres.co.uk 01903 206206 and Lewes Town Hall, 28 November, 7pm THEATRE: TEECHERS Hull Truck Theatre take the classic John Godber school comedy to Chichester. A cast of three play all 20 roles in a play that simply refuses to date or to lie down.

30 November–4 December Wed Schools’ matinee 1.30pm, Minerva Theatre, 01243 781312, www.cft.org.uk THEATRE: THE FLINT STREET NATIVITY Away in a manger/No crib for a bed/ The shepherds tie tea towels/Around their sweet heads/King Herod and a wise man/ Both have got chickenpox/And the Donkey’s stick insect/Has escaped from his box. Mizzis Horrocks' class of seven year olds is about to perform their nativity play at Flint Street Junior School for proud friends and relatives. Featuring a talented cast from across Sussex playing a bunch, this is a stage version of the popular comedy film by Tim Firth (Calendar Girls). The Barn Theatre, 30 November– 4 December, Southwick Community Centre, Southwick Street, Southwick, Sussex, BN42 4TE 01444 244778

STAGE: ALICE BAND Andrew Kay finds classic Lewis Carroll in a new working by Adrian Mitchell at Chichester Festival Theatre

Teechers

lice In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass will be staged by the award-winning Chichester Festival Youth Theatre. Lewis Carroll’s enchanting story is adapted for the stage by Adrian Mitchell, set to new music by Matthew Scott and directed by Dale Rooks. The magical story is timeless: on a golden afternoon, Alice meets a smartly dressed white rabbit, looking at his watch, muttering to himself, “Oh my ears and whiskers, I‘m late”. She follows him down the rabbit hole into a remarkable world and so begin her adventures in Wonderland. Along the way she meets talking cakes and bottles, encounters a strange lobster dance, attends a tea party with the Mad Hatter and plays a dangerous game of croquet with the King and Queen of Hearts. Since it was first written, this story has captured the imagination of generations of children and adults alike through its exploration of time, logic and its captivating characters. The Youth Theatre has produced enthralling shows at Christmas for the past eight years. Dale Rooks, Youth Theatre Director and Deputy Head of Learning and Participation at Chichester, has directed Chichester Festival Theatre’s Christmas show for the last eight years. “These stories present us with a feast of delights in the rehearsal room,” she says. “They are full of riddles, nonsense, absurd events, logical conundrums and word play. This wonderful adaptation allows us to create a new and exciting interpretation, whilst holding on to the integrity of Carroll’s wonderfully poetic masterpiece.” Alice In Wonderland Festival Theatre Chichester 18 December 2010–1 January 2011, times of performances vary. £9–£23.50, (Children’s saver ticket offers half price tickets for under 16s on top three prices). Box Office: 01243 781312, www.cft.org.uk follow me on twitter

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030_033_LS502_previews_editorial 18/11/2010 16:54 Page 3

LATEST PREVIEWS MUSIC&CLUBS 31

The Laylanas

MUSIC: OUR SANSAR Our Sansar’s project to build a home in Nepal for street children will get a boost with a great fundraising event featuring a number of excellent Brighton bands including the country-noir Sweet Sweet Lies, the country rockers The Laylanas, Deadbeat Descendants and The Common Tongues. www.oursansar.org Concorde 2, 26 November, 6pm, £5

Legrand and Baltimore native Alex Scally trade on haunting vocals, subtle melodies, and skewed sounds where This Morning Jacket meets a very sleepy Beach Boys, that reward repeated hearings. A grower. Concorde 2, 25 November, 8pm, £12 CLUBS: DA DOO RON RON GUEST DJ RHODA DAKAR A mix of femme pop, soul ’n’ funk, dramarama and chicks with licks, spanning the ’50s to mid- ’70s. Plus special guest DJ Rhoda Dakar who will be spinning a special, one-off set of grooviness! Expect diva dolls, hip shakin’ mamas and smitten kittens. It would be a shame to miss it. Komedia, 27 November, 11pm–3am, £7/6 Rhoda Dakar

MUSIC: DARK DARK DARK Minneapolis based chamber-folk sextet outfit who, on their sophomore album Wild Go, set their dramatic sound and Nona Marie Invie’s soaring, haunting voice against age-old instrumentation that evokes the soundtrack to a beautiful film. Latest Musicbar, 26 November, £8.50/7 MUSIC: BEACH HOUSE Critically lauded Bella Union act with three albums under their belt. Often labelled as a dream pop band due to their slow, atmospheric rhythms, the duo made up of French-born Victoria

CLUBS: THE LAND OF MAKE BELIEVE: PIRATE’S ADVENTURE Brighton’s only fancy dress night where you pick your outfit and get changed at the venue! All door profits will go directly to the Terrence Higgins Trust for World Aids Day. Revenge, 28 November, 10.30pm–3am, £3 if wear own fancy dress, £4 VIP & NUS before midnight, £8 + other prices

MUSIC: 30 YEARS AGO... Jeff Hemmings looks at the Bootleg Beatles

nbelievably, it was 30 years next month that John Lennon met his death at the hands of Mark Chapman. But still (and most certainly forever) his legacy lives on in the form of thousands upon thousands of Beatles tribute acts that make a living around the world. The original, and one of the very best tribute acts The Bootleg Beatles have been paying homage for more than 30 years. “I played the part of John in Beatlemania,” says Neil Harrison who plays John Lennon in the band. "It was a musical from Broadway. Originally, it had an all American cast, but the British Musicians Union insisted on Brits playing the roles if it was to be performed here.” At first success eluded them here in the UK (although they were popular abroad, particularly in the Soviet Union), but when Oasis (massive Beatles fans) booked them as a support at an Earl’s Court gig it all changed. “We weren’t very good at the beginning. We were musicians really, not actors, but over time I got confident with imitating John’s voice.” The Bootleg Beatles, from being perhaps the first ever tribute band (there had already been legions of Elvis impersonators) have played all around the world, playing thousands of gigs to audiences made up of those who were there at the time, but also a healthy sprinkling of younger people, all interested in The Beatles story. “We have an eight-piece orchestra, a string quartet, brass band and there’s lots of film footage. The only thing missing is the hysterical screaming,” says Neil. A highlight for the band was being able to recreate the famous rooftop concert of 30 January 1969, the last ever Beatles live performance. “A guy who used to book us for corporate events actually knew the people who owned that building (3 Saville Row, the former residence of The Beatles’ Apple Corps company) and persuaded them to allow us to do it as a free corporate gig. It had the same effect as the original concert; it stopped the traffic, people were looking up form the street, or watching us from adjoining buildings!” So, what’s your favourite album? “Revolver is great, because it was still The Beatles as a band and it had incredible diversity, from ‘Yellow Submarine’ to ‘Tomorrow Never Knows’.” Bootleg Beatles, Brighton Dome, 4 December follow me on twitter

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030_033_LS502_previews_editorial 19/11/2010 08:59 Page 4 Zoe Lyons

LATEST PREVIEWS COMEDY&EVENTS

Nick Helm

COMEDY: LIVE ‘N’ LAUGHING A night of superb comedy with circuit regulars including headliner Tony Law, special guests and music from the wasp factory. Hosted by Lee Hume. The Brunswick pub, 24 November, 7.45pm, £5

high octane mega mirth creator Nick Helm, as well as more besides. Upstairs At Three and Ten, 27 November, 10pm, £10/7.50 EVENT: LIDO NIGHTS The first of a series of 'Lido Nights' held at the Saltdean Lido to raise money for the Lido, where you can come to dance the night away with Shauna Parker and the Saloon Bar Band. An eclectic musical mix of americana, folk and country. To top it all off, there is a fully licensed bar. The weekend isn't over yet! Saltdean Lido, 27 November, 8pm–12am, free

COMEDY: HAVING A BLAST

Off The Cuff

Victoria Nangle examines the glory of Comic Boom

nce upon a time a teacher of comedy decided to put on a comedy night that combined both a cracking headliner – one you’ve probably seen on the telly – with a hand-selected collection of support acts on their way up the comedy ranks and spotted by her sharp comedy eyes to be destined for greatness. Because she was a teacher of comedy it meant that she had already seen brilliant former students hit massive success (like, for instance, Jimmy Carr, Shappi Khorsandi, Hal Cruttenden and Simon Evans), so she knew what to look out for. And she’d have the whole night hosted by former students who you can also see on the tellybox from time to time – Seann Walsh. Oops! Given it away. Yes, I’m talking about Comic Boom, as created and run by Jill Edwards, bringing affordable and bankable comedy to a Komedia Thursday every month. Enough with the concept, who’s on this month’s comedy treasure trove? I’m glad you asked. Having starred in their own shows on Channel 4 and Radio 4, its award-winning sketch group Pappy’s topping the bill. You may know Matthew Crosby from his appearance in Trinny and Susannah’s TV spoof comeback earlier this year; you’ll have seen Ben Clark in the adverts for E4’s new series Meet The Parents, and Tom Parry doing his solo stand-up all over the place. Together, they are the brilliant Pappy’s sketch group, with side-swipes at the grown-up world that leave you laughing like a child. Plus, the all important support stars of tomorrow are Tom Rosenthal (winner of last year’s Chortle and Paramount student awards), Naz Osmanoglu (finalist in 2009’s So You Think You’re Funny competition), Tania Edwards (finalist in 2009’s Funny Women contest), and local rising lights Lee Hume and Mari Polonen. It’s even very affordable. Brill. Comic Boom, Komedia, 25 November, 8pm, £9/8.50/7/6.50, www.komedia.co.uk follow me on twitter

COMEDY: OFF THE CUFF After a successful Edinburgh run this Brighton-based improv troupe are back with a vengeance, using all of your suggestions to create sketches and gags to make you laugh big style. This is their first gig post Edinburgh Festival. Upstairs At Three and Ten, 27 November, 8pm, £8/6 COMEDY: RED BRICK COMEDY CLUB The second part of a double bill of comedy at Upstairs At Three and Ten, with the intimate venue offering late night raucous laughs. Hosted by Luke Toulson and headlined by the

EVENT: RAG TRADE POP UP SALE Pick up some designer togs for that all important Christmas party at a knock down price, or even some nifty Crimbo presents when pennies are tight this year. With prices starting at a few pounds and labels including Vivienne Westwood, Whistles, Sonia Rykel and Reiss last time this event took place, make sure you bring plenty of cash to splash on bargains. The Mezzanine Bar, Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 27-28 November, 10am–5pm, free

Lee Hume

latestvicky

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tue 23 november

cafe bar:

cabaret bar:

songwriters in the round

the sussex jazz orchestra martijm van galen leads this group of highly talented musicians 7.30pm £4/2

join local songwriters for a great evening of live music. 7.30pm £3

fri 26 november

wed 24 november

cabaret bar:

Windmill Chapter + Naomi Bedford + Second Hand Kid

Minneapolis based chamber folk sextet revel in the wonder that is around us always 8pm £7/8.50

7.30pm £tbc

thu 25 november cabaret bar:

jojo & the go cats + solar symphony 7.30pm £3

dark dark dark

rockabilly, wild rock ’n’ roll, frantic r’n’b & killer surf & instros 8pm £2/£1

sat 27 november

private party to book your private party, wedding or anniversary contact emma on 01273 687171 or email bookings@thelatest.co.uk

sun 28 november

dr sketchys anti-art school of life drawing and cabaret

cafe bar:

3pm £8/10

the wow wow club

mon 22 november

djs tiki stew + dave mumbles + memphis gee spinning the best

see website for details

030_033_LS502_previews_editorial 18/11/2010 16:58 Page 5

Supported by

LATEST PREVIEWS ART&FILM

ART: ART AT THE DUKE Members of the local Dupont Art Club have been offered permanent exhibition space in the Duke of Wellington. Renamed the Dupont Room, and featuring a caricature of pub landlord Martin Donovan (dressed as the Duke of Wellington), the exhibits will be changed every two months. Robert Mapplethorpe, Dupont Art Club, Duke of Wellington, Upper Gloucester Road, Brighton.

portraits of ‘60s and ‘70s legends including Steve McQueen. Christmas 2010, Crane Kalman, 38 Kensington gardens, 01273 697096. Until 31 December.

FILM: THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET’S NEST (15)

ART: CHRISTMAS 2010 Annual selection for the Crane Kalman Christmas 2010 Exhibition, featuring a diverse range of work from the contemporary to the classic, including first view of animal photographer Tim Flach’s new project, ‘Dogs: Gods’ plus a series of David Steen’s iconic

Director: Daniel Alfredson

I FILM: UNSTOPPABLE (12A) Dir: Tony Scott Apparently this is based on real events, which makes it all slightly more scary. Denzel Washington stars as a veteran train engineer who, together with a young conductor (Chris Pine) has to stop a runaway train before it destroys a town. Tension will be palpable. Showing at Odeon and Cineworld For full details of film times: www.odeon.co.uk www.picturehouses.co.uk www.cineworld.co.uk www.worthingtheatres.co.uk

t seems fitting that the third part in Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy is showing at the Duke of York’s Picturehouse following its Cinecity Film Festival celebration, as it was at that festival last year that the first was previewed to a Brighton audience. Obviously, off the back of the success of the first two films, this final part in the series is available to view at all major cinemas this time around. Our heroine Lisbeth Salander (Noomi Rapace) has woken up in hospital recovering from a near fatal bullet wound. Phew! And she’s also awaiting trial for triple murder. Not quite such a relief. Who to turn to? Well, her estranged journalist lover Mikael Blomkvist (Michael Nyqvist) would be a good place to start. A very good place indeed! Hot on the trail of the facts to find out who is setting up the lovely lady for these heinous crimes, and who did them in the first place too! Investigation is the name of the game, delving way back into Lisbeth’s childhood past for clues in the pursuit of justice. Quite a bit comes to light, making this trilogy consistently full of revelations and keeping the quality high for viewers from start to finish. Showing at Duke of York’s Picturehouse, Odeon, Cineworld Listings Send your stage listings to: stage@thelatest.co.uk Send your comedy listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your events listings to: events@thelatest.co.uk Send your arts listings to: art@thelatest.co.uk Send your music listings to: comedy@thelatest.co.uk Send your club listings to: clubs@thelatest.co.uk Send your gay listings to: gay@thelatest.co.uk

TOTALLY COMPREHENSIVE! Brighton’s listings in one click: thelatest.co.uk On your mobile: m.thelatest.co.uk

034_LS502_bookingschart_011_LS466_interview 19/11/2010 11:47 Page 2

BOOKINGS | MUSIC CHART

L7 Bookings

To listen to the chart and submit your track, go to www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

Brighton Download Chart TOP 10 8 Latest

On sale this week… The Interminable Suicide of Gregory Church – Written And Performed By Daniel Kitson

1 Panos Christofi – Only The Night 2 Champion Fever – Dragons 3 Panos Christofi – Sunshine 4 The Wolfgirl Liberation – Sonic Chanting 5 The Last Cry – Rebekka 6 Millsy Slug Music – Sky Blue Pink 7 The Wolfgirl Liberation – Riding Horses 8 Panos Christofi – Summertime 9 Millsy – Poop Song

Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell

10 The Wolfgirl Liberation – Tuesday Electro-infused pop singer-songwriter Panos Christofi is quickly returning to the kind of chart dominating form his music showed in the Latest Brighton Download Chart’s early days, with both another week at Number One for his catchy hit ‘Only The Night’ and a total of three songs in the Top 10. Taking the number two spot this week is the retro-sounding raucous electro of Champion Fever’s ‘Dragons’, whilst the aforementioned chart topper rears his head again at three with ‘Sunshine’. Taking four is the quality bass-heavy genresplicing dance of The Wolfgirl Liberation’s ‘Sonic Chanting’ as shoegaze-influenced rockers The Last Cry complete this week’s rundown with ‘Rebekka’ at five.

11 Ziggurat Sunset

22 Tenek

12 Tubba 3 Ply

23 Osaro and RJ Shut Up And Dance

13 Panos Christofi

24 Chaos Borne

14 Panos Christofi

25 Swarf

Vendetta

C'mon

In My Mind

I’ll Never Know

15 Panos Christofi

If You Do What You Always Do...

If I Should Fall

The Moment

Parlour Tricks

26 lolatwist

Pretty

16 Alexxa B

27 Vortex Generator

17 Ziggurat Sunset

28 AliXXia

18 Chaos Borne

29 The Fadadoo

Pawn

Bless The Thief Watching

19 Tenek

No Time For Fighting

20 Vortex Generator

Water Bleeding

Pavilion Theatre, Brighton Dome, 4-5 May 2011, £12, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org One of the acclaimed comic’s theatrical works, this one-man show examines a life as it approaches its death, with dark humour and more than a smidge of poignancy.

THE WANTED

Project Lost In A Crowd

30 The Wolfgirl

Liberation Peter Blueprints

21 Stonewall

SUBM YOURIT MUSIC & videos

SUBMIT YOUR MUSIC AND VIDEOS

www.thelatest.co.uk/7/music-chart

Comedy Award – on his third time of being nominated. A fantastic personal show of family, challenges and growing up.

CALAMITY JANE

Komedia, 15-10 April 2011, £15/13, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton City Theatre Company celebrates its 125th Anniversary with the outstanding piece of theatre Calamity Jane. Whip, crack, away!

Brighton Centre, 1 April 2011, £24, www.brightoncentre.co.uk, 0844 847 1515 Let the screaming commence. The boys are touring their first album! With tunes from the likes of Guy Chambers, Rami and Carl Falk, and Cutfather, they promise the music will certainly be able to match the hype.

JEFFREY BERNARD IS UNWELL

THE X FACTOR 2011 LIVE TOUR

AVENUE Q

Brighton Centre, 15-17 March 2011, £32.50, www.brightoncentre.co.uk, 0844 847 1515 The X Factor has returned to our screens bigger and better than ever before, with a record 12 million people tuning in. Catch the finalists of the seventh series in this all-singing bonanza.

RUSSELL KANE: SMOKESCREENS AND CASTLES

Komedia, 19 May 2011, £14/12, 0845 293 8480, www.komedia.co.uk/brighton Russell Kane won this year’s Foster’s Edinburgh

Nothing

Regenerate

Gardens Make Me An Offer

THE INTERMINABLE SUICIDE OF GREGORY CHURCH – WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY DANIEL KITSON

Theatre Royal, Brighton, 18-23 April 2011, £15–30, 0844 871 7650, www.ambassadortickets.com/brighton Robert Powell takes the title role in this brilliantly funny and touching play by Keith Waterhouse, of a thoroughly enjoyable reprobate. Theatre Royal, Brighton, 2-7 May 2011, £13.50–31.50, 0844 871 7650, www.ambassadortickets.com/brighton After nearly five years of mischief, bad behaviour and political incorrectness, London’s funniest show by far is hitting the road. The Tony Awardwinning Avenue Q is the irresistibly charming musical – with puppets!

ABBA THE SHOW: THE ULTIMATE TRIBUTE TO ABBA

Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 17 November 2011, £27.50, 01273 709709, www.brightondome.org All things Abba-tastic come to Brighton Dome next year with all of your favourite tunes.

Russell Kane The Wanted

035_LS502_reviews_Reviews 19/11/2010 12:11 Page 1

REVIEWS 35

L7 Under review Read reviews of every show at the Brighton Comedy Festival at www.thelatest.co.uk LIARS

Liars’ fifth album, Sisterworld, received some ecstatic reviews earlier this year, so I was surprised this anticipated show was downsized from the Concorde 2 the day before the gig. Sadly, this led to a rather disconnected performance from the New Yorkers, with their frantic percussion-heavy sound masked by sheets of dry ice, and lead Angus Andrew not appearing from behind his fringe until mid-set. A cover of Bauhaus’ ‘In The Flat Field’ added to the intense atmosphere of a show, which, despite some late peaks (‘Proud Evolution’ a notable highlight), never fully took off. Audio, 12 November JJJJJ Stuart Huggett

A-HA

MAKING BREAD

Established in London, the Making Bread collective introduced itself to the seaside with a well attended multimedia happening. Dozens of artists from Brighton, Bristol and the capital exhibited their colourful, often graffiti-inspired canvases, giving the evening the air of a knockabout private view. Many of the crowd took advantage of the tables of pens, pencils and paper provided to execute some pictures of their own (some impressive; some rather drunken). Loop pedal powered songwriter Samuel J headlined a diverse bill of familiar Brighton musicians and spoken word artists, sealing a welcome addition to the city’s cultural quarter. The Basement, 13 November JJJJJ Stuart Huggett

Noel Coward’s whimsical psychic comedy is an excellent piece of fun and Alison Steadman was certainly there to ensure that. Her Madame Arcati was a bumbling loon of the highest quality – totally batty. Ruthie Henshall's Elvira was lyrical and spirited; a delightful portrayal. But the rest of the cast delivered their dialogue in a modern naturalistic manner and not the usual clipped tones of the period. It was clearly a director’s decision but I couldn’t help feel that the company were hamstrung and that removing the clipped diction had in fact clipped their wings. The poetry of Coward’s dialogue was lacking as a consequence. Towards the final act I felt that in each of them a real performance was simply bursting to get out. Theatre Royal, Brighton, 16 November JJJJJ Andrew Kay

HUGH MASEKELA AND THE MAHOTELLA QUEENS

With majestic township harmonies and funky dance moves, the Queens were the perfect openers. Amazing, considering the youngest is a sprightly 65. Backed by a young slick African group, Masekela quickly reassured his rich, honeyed tone was intact and that he’s still no mean singer and groover. After a mellow start, a storming ‘Freedom Train’ took the band up a gear, while an impassioned tribute to conscripted coal workers preceded ‘Stimela’, which was followed by the afrobeat of Fela’s ‘Lady’. A tonguein-cheek monologue on his childhood in Brighton led into a sublime rendition of the classic ‘Grazing In The Grass’. The standing ovation was truly deserved. Concert Hall, Brighton Dome, 16 November JJJJJ Steve Clements

Did you disagree with our verdict on any of these shows? comment@thelatest.co.uk

MONKEY BIZ GORILLAZ 18 November, Brighton Centre JJJJJ

fter their critical shin kicking at this year’s Glastonbury, Damon Albarn and friends could have been forgiven for dipping back into the shadows and letting their cartoon creations take the brunt of the slagging instead. However, it’s a mark of Gorillaz’ intestinal fortitude that they’ve taken the criticism under advisement, parleying it into a massively polished live set that was never less than utterly brilliant. At Glasto the off-kilter pacing and general bemusement of the big-name guests played merry hell with the momentum. Happily, there were no such problems at the Brighton Centre; at the end of the UK leg of their tour, lessons had clearly been learnt. Albarn and visual artist Jamie Hewlett’s co-creation is now so much more than just a musical side project and their ambition has clearly not been hampered by a little bad press. The breadth of their vision is breathtaking. They’ve not reined in the big ideas, nor toned down the special guests – they’ve just gotten really good at getting people on and off stage quickly. So we now got the double treat of Hewlett’s witty creations on a giant screen and some very special appearances in front of it. Not only did we have Mick Jones and Paul Simonon (one half of The Clash) fulfilling their duties as regular band-mates, and a show-starting bow from a 50foot-high Snoop Dogg, but there was also room for the Chicagoan

eight-piece Hypnotic Brass Ensemble (playing ‘Welcome To The World Of The Plastic Beach’), US rapper Bootie Brown (building up the energy levels on Dirty Harry), support acts Little Dragon and De La Soul (on ‘Empire Ants’ and ‘Feel Good Inc’ and ‘Superfast Jellyfish’ respectively), grime stars Kano and Bashy (breathing new life into an encore of ‘Clint Eastwood’) and the living legend that is Bobby Womack (singing on show highlight ‘Stylo’). Making the Brighton Centre come alive (no mean feat in itself), Gorillaz’ put-itall-in-a-pot approach was never better demonstrated than in a guest spot from the Syrian National Orchestra for Arabic Music (on ‘White Flag’) – a fine example of how far the group’s influences have spread. Sure, there was no Shaun Ryder, but he’s messing about in the Australian jungle and who really needs him anyway? So, the moral of the story here seems to be: don’t be pressurized into performing before you’re ready. And: if U2 ever ask for a favour, tell them where to stick it – you’ll really feel the benefit if you do. Glen Ferris

Pics: The Brighton Centre/David Illman

The Brighton leg of the farewell tour of these '80s icons saw them going out with a bang – not a whimper in sight. They opened with 'The Sun Always Shines On TV', and had the usually too-cool-for-school Brighton audience singing along to 'Hunting High And Low'. There was also a brief middle section in which the trio pared down to play a mature acoustic set, and it all went together with a fantastic light show and camera work that took us back to the show we’d have loved to have seen when Morten’s quiff and leather bangles were all any teen wanted. With an impressive encore of their classic ‘Take On Me’, this lived up to the dream of nostalgia, and more. Brighton Centre, 15 November JJJJJ Victoria Nangle

BLITHE SPIRIT

036_LS502_sports-TV column _024_LS466_Sports/TV_Column 19/11/2010 12:53 Page 2

L7 TV

SPORT | TV

L7 Sport

YOUR WEEKLY TV GUIDE

823 – 29 NOVEMBER8

Up the Albion!

Telly Talk

Mark Brailsford says ‘bring on Man Utd!’

With Victoria Nangle

For your own good

arry on General Poyet. Napoleon said he didn’t require good generals – just lucky ones. In that case, Albion manager Gus Poyet can add luck to his already formidable armoury. Following the fortunate scrape past a spirited Woking side in the first round of the FA Cup it can be safely argued that as well as having a good Albion side he has the footballing Gods on his side. Anyone who witnessed the game either in person or on ESPN (lucky you) then you will have particularly enjoyed (well, sort of) not only our victory but Christian Baz’s last penalty. It showed cheek, invention and no little skill. The spirit of the team personified, perhaps? Either way, it was enough to get through the round to face FC United of Manchester in the next round, some of whose fans may have been at Wembley when we faced their former love Manchester United in the FA Cup final in 1983. Anyone who remembers that final and it’s subsequent painful reply will have great memories of a thrilling cup run, and although the match against FC United isn’t quite the glamour tie (yet), it at least maintains the romance of the cup. But is the FA Cup as romantic as it once was?

“Who wouldn’t fancy a good cup run and a big draw in the third round?” There is some argument that it’s devalued in these days of the so-called “Champions League”. I use quotes because it’s hardly a competition for the Champions of the respective leagues anymore but anyone who can finish third or fourth, and where’s the glory in that? However, such is life and even if it does devalue the FA Cup, who wouldn’t fancy a good Cup run and a big draw in the third round against a Liverpool, a Chelsea or, dare I say it... Manchester Utd? Knowing our luck in the draw in recent years it’ll be another United: Hartlepool again (groan). Let’s hope that luck returns for a decent Cup run...

ESPN IN THE WORKS

On the subject of watching the game on ESPN, it occurred to me that Ray Stubbs is an under-rated anchor and the coverage was actually rather good. But my favourite moment had to be when pundit Clive Walker, a former Albion and Woking player commented on the action. He referred to a player “exposing himself” at the back, which for those not in the know was in reference to a defensive error. This was highly amusing when you consider his nickname when he played for the Albion; he was called “Flash”. Bless.

OOH AHH, LUALUA

It was such a shame that not only did the Albion lose to Hartlepool in the league but arguably something more crucial, the talismanic Kazenga LuaLua to a bad ankle injury. LuaLua’s pace, skill and directness has been an essential ingredient in our recent successful run. At the time of writing the club are actively seeking a left sided player to fill the gap. But where to find a player as good as him? Knowing the way the club and Poyet in particular now operate it wouldn’t be a surprise if a loan signing from a big Premier League club has already been identified, in fact Poyet said as much in a recent interview. There are already potential signings in the pipeline and this perhaps proves another adage: “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” – Seneca. Which is where, I think, we came in.

’ve always been rather shy but was it through fear or of my lack of British history generosity – and did it really knowledge. I’ve patched together matter what the motives were? bits of information I’ve garnered It’s curious that history has from my Literature degree. I learnt always been taught from books about the terrible that sit pretty treatment of the close to story poor from Dickens’ “It’s curious that books, keeping the novels – just as goodies and the history has always he’d intended, but baddies clearly probably a couple demarcated. This been taught from of centuries too was the ultimate late for him – and books that sit close nanny state, and about the mills of it did so much industrialism from to story books...” good for the Elizabeth Gaskell masses, saved the and the bawdy lives of the nobs from having their privileged from ‘Tom Jones’. heads removed in (Not the singer.) But quite revolution, but infringed how these patches fitted upon all the human together I had yet to work rights we hold so dear in out. How exactly did it go a contemporary society. from the raucous rich and the Is a benevolent pox-ridden poor in Britain dictatorship better to a refined system of than a neglectful prudishness and hierarchical philanthropy? I’m glad system? Apparently I asked. so, but it doesn’t Actually, it’s all pretty sit easily. clearly laid out in Ian Hislop’s Ian Hislop comes Age Of The Do-Gooders, from a background of starting with William satire and challenging Wilberforce’s epiphany in the status quo, yet there the late 18th century and doesn’t seem to be continuing on from much evidence of there. Not only was he editorial skepticism. a key figure in the Damnit, the telly’s got abolition of slavery, but my mental juices he was simply pretty flowing again, and just keen on us all been nicer when they were to each other. And if you expecting their seasonal had a look at what was X Factor relief. Next thing happening elsewhere you know they’ll be in Europe in the 19th looking at political century when people parallels with weren’t being nicer to contemporary society, each other – well, let’s and maybe Hislop just say it wasn’t working will end up more out too well for the haves subversive than I ever after the have-nots had gave him credit for. enough of their lot. Ian Hislop’s Age Of The This period of time Do-Gooders, BBC2, brought in the first Monday 29 November social housing, the first social workers, free schooling and follow me on twitter latestvicky ethical employment. Pretty nifty,

CHRISTMAS IS COMING... 100,000

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of our readers and show them your perfect Christmas gifts in our...

WEEKLY CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDES! To book your space today please contact Natasha on 01273 818150 x 105 or natasha@thelatest.co.uk

037_LS502_TV_Tues_L7wed14apr.qxd 19/11/2010 09:20 Page 1

tuesday 23 Holby City BBC1, 8pm Connie tries to protect Elliot from getting the boot. In an attempt to prove herself, Jac boldly disobeys her medical orders and creates an unnecessary crisis, which leaves a patient chronically debilitated. Someone should tell these quacks that they need more training than playing Operation once a year. Really.

Celebrity Juice: X Factor Special ITV1, 10.35pm That mad old fruit Keith Lemon is chucking a spesh edition of his show. Joining regulars Holly Willoughbooby, Fearne Cotton and Rufus Hound are X Factor host Dermot O’Leary, 2008 finalist Diana Vickers and last year’s pop tart Olly Murs. Plus, Jedward get busy with a bag of spuds.

The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes ITV3, 8pm The famous detective Holmes and his faithful companion Dr Watson are on the crime solving caper again. Holmes investigates three very private sisters whose respectability is shattered when the post brings two unwanted Xmas pressies. Hankies and socks no doubt. Shameful.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Trapped: Ever After 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 My Genius Idea 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 EastEnders An intimidated Tamwar is grilled by Afia’s father, but is there more to Yusef’s story than Tamwar knows? 8.00 Holby City See highlights. 9.00 Turn Back Time: The High Street The shopkeepers find themselves dealing with rationing, promoting make do and mend, and trying to persuade an entire town to pull together as it would have done sixty years ago. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Imagine... In this film, awardwinning programme-maker Leon Gast follows Ron Galella as he revisits some of his old haunts and recalls his encounters with the stars who have tried – and usually failed – to evade his lens. 11.40 FILM: Where The Truth Lies (2005) Starring Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth. Thriller charting the rise and fall of two popular entertainers in the 1950s. 1.20am Weatherview 1.25 Sign Zone: See Hear 1.55 Masterchef: The Professionals 2.55 Renaissance Revolution 3.55 The Bionic Vet 4.25 BBC News

6.00 – 9.25am Children’s television 9.25 The Large Family 9.40 Toddworld 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 Coast 2.00 Tennis: World Tour Finals 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off 6.00 Eggheads Oval-shaped heads hoping to win this quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia is joined by the couple who narrowly escaped elimination. 7.00 Coast Neil Oliver explores the hidden remains of a fortress built by Henry VIII in a desperate attempt to keep an English toehold on French soil. 8.00 Alan Titchmarsh’s Garden Secrets Alan Titchmarsh reveals the amazing secrets behind Britain’s great gardens. 9.00 The Foods That Make Billions The first episode tells the extraordinary story of how the bottled water industry has grown from nothing to become one of the biggest success stories in the modern food and beverage industry in just 40 years. 10.00 Mock The Week Again Comedy show. 10.30 Newsnight Presented by Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 American Dream This series features those who helped foster and sell the dream, those who feel they have lived it, as well as those who challenge or reject the very notion. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Class Clips 5.00 I-Science

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 Jeremy Kyle: Morning Surgery 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 Dinner Date 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.40am The Treacle People 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.10 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.35 Frasier 9.05 According To Jim 9.35 Cook Yourself Thin 10.05 One Tree Hill 11.00 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Jamie At Home 12.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.40 FILM: Revenge Of The Pink Panther (1978) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal Fifth Anniversary 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons Homer and Marge play marriage counsellors to help Springfield Isotopes baseball star Buck Mitchell and his sexy recording-artist wife, Tabitha. 6.30 Hollyoaks Tony is released without charge, while Brendan ups his scheming by planting drugs on Dom. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv Religious and ethical issues. 8.00 Kirstie’s Homemade Home Kirstie meets Paulette and Gerry Crow, who are living in a bland box in Surrey that does not suit them. 9.00 The Family With Mum and Dad going away, the kids are left home alone and plan a large house party. 10.00 Frankie Boyle Live This sharp-suited Scotsman’s brutal but perfectly constructed one-liners are delivered with equal measures of visceral cheek and sarcasm. 11.05 1 Day A hip-hop musical, set on the inner-city streets of Birmingham, that takes a gritty look at gang culture and gun crime. 1.05am Bullrun: New York To Las Vegas 1.35 Sony Ericsson BBoy 2.00 European Beach Volleyball Championship Finals 2.55 KOTV Boxing Weekly 3.20 World Sport 3.45 Lloyds TSB Cardiff Half Marathon 4.40 The British Gas Great Swim Series 5.35 Deadliest Catch

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.10pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 Emergency Bikers 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Another Day (2001) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away As Indi contemplates what to do with Annie’s letter to Romeo, her deception is exposed by Alf when he asks Romeo if he has received the mail. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Street Market Chefs Based at Bristol farmer’s market. 8.00 Sea Patrol UK Charting the work of the elite teams that patrol the UK’s south coast. 9.00 CSI: Miami While the team tries to determine the cause of a house fire, Calleigh communicates with the victim’s spirit. 10.00 CSI: NY The discovery of a body buried in concrete leads the investigators into the seamy and dangerous world of underground fighting clubs. 11.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Grissom and Sara look into the murder of a word-game champion in a casino bathroom. 12.00am NCIS Director Shepard is killed while trying to clean up a secret mission that began a decade ago in Europe. 12.55 SuperCasino Live 3.55 Emergency Bikers 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Netbusters 9.30 Ford Monday Night Football 11.30 SPL Round-Up 12.00pm LIVE Tennis 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 Netbusters 5.00 SPL Round-Up 5.30 Football Asia 6.00 Revista De La Liga 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.30 Football Asia 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00am Hyundai A League 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 Football Asia 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 Champions League Goals 4.00 Hyundai A League 4.30 Revista De La Liga 5.30 Football Asia

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Chas lies in order to maintain her manipulation of Carl. Maisie tries to bury her doubts about a future with Nathan. 7.30 River Monsters Jeremy Wade is on the trail of a terrifying legend – the spirit Mami Wata, which is said to lure fishermen from their boats, taking them to the bottom of the river where they are imprisoned for eternity. 8.00 The Zoo Last in the documentary series focusing on London Zoo in Regent’s Park and its countryside sister zoo, Whipsnade. London Zoo’s flagship Gorilla Kingdom exhibit, which helps pay for the conservation work, is suffering after the death of the male gorilla, so a search for a new male begins. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The viewers choose a celebrity to face another Bushtucker Trial. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Celebrity Juice: X Factor Special See highlights. 11.20 Swingtown Susan and Roger work together on a surprise party for Janet. 12.10am The Zone 2.10 The Rockford Files 3.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Afterburn 8.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.00 Shell’s Wonderful World Of Golf 11.30 PGA Tour Classic 12.30pm Soccer AM: The Best Bits 1.30 Ford Monday Night Football 3.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 4.30 British Basketball League 6.30 Sailing 7.00 LIVE: Live UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 Poker Million 1.00am Pool: World Pool Masters 2.00 British Basketball League 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 11.00am Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm NASCAR 1.00 Showjumping 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Wild Spirits 3.00 Fishing: Thinking Tackle 4.00 Test Cricket 5.00 Bowls 6.00 LIVE Tennis 10.00 European Seniors Golf 11.00 Asian Tour Golf Show 11.30 Golfing World 12.30am Sailing 1.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 2.00 Asian Tour Golf Show 2.30 Bowls 3.30 Sailing 4.00 Close

Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

12.00pm The Biggest Loser USA 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 4.00 Bones 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 UK Border Force 9.00 Stargate Universe 10.00 Fringe 11.00 FILM: Croc (2007) 12.45am Road Wars 1.40 Ross Kemp: Battle For The Amazon

7.00pm Total Wipeout 8.00 Don’t Tell The Bride 9.00 Mad About The House 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Young Hairdresser Of The Year 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Mad About The House 1.15 Young Hairdresser Of The Year 2.15 Don’t Tell The Bride 3.15 Total Wipeout 4.15 Love Me, Love My F

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 It’s Only A Theory 8.00 The Yorkshire Dales On Film 8.30 Time To Remember 9.00 Mandelson: The Real PM? - Storyville 10.15 Getting On 10.45 Accused 11.45 Mark Lawson Talks To Jimmy McGovern 12.45am Mandelson: The Real PM? - Storyville

3.40pm Loose Women 4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 All Star Family Fortunes 7.45 The Vampire Diaries: The Hot Desk 8.00 Fearne And Beth Ditto 9.00 The Vampire Diaries 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.20 FILM: The Nutty Professor (1996) 1.15am Emmerdale

1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes. See highlights 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.05 Blue Murder 12.40am Numb3rs 1.25 Life 2.05 On The Buses

12.10pm Veronica Mars 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Accidentally On Purpose 4.30 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 FILM: Cellular (2004) 10.50 The Event 11.50 Scrubs (x2) 12.55am Life Unexpected 1.55 The Event

3.20pm Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs Revisited 8.30 The Incubator 9.00 Come Dine With Me 10.00 True Stories: My Father, Pablo Escobar 11.40 Come Dine With Me 12.45am True Stories: My Father, Pablo Escobar

11.00am Gaslight (1940) 12.40pm Beau Brummell (1954) 2.50 On The Town (1949) 4.40 Explorers (1985) 6.50 Gallipoli (1981) 9.00 Alien 3 (1992) 11.10 The Escapist (2008) 1.10am The Man From Elysian Fields (2001) 3.15 Mike Leigh Special 3.30 Close

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038_LS502_TV_Weds_L7wed14apr.qxd 19/11/2010 09:21 Page 1

wednesday 24 Animal Madhouse Channel 4, 8pm A team of vets explore the many conditions and ailments that can affect our much-loved creatures great and small. Sting the horse is pooped and needs a stable night’s sleep, Bart the cockatiel is all bent out of shape with a bowed beak, and Lily the monkey needs some contraception. Try pri-Mates. Sorry.

The Apprentice BBC1, 9pm The teams must produce two new flavours of crisps and then sell to outlets in Hamburg. Cultures clashes and confusion reign as the language barrier causes problems and the candidates find it difficult to get their German cousins on board. But, when it comes to the crunch, whose bacon will be smoked?

Peter Andre: The Next Chapter ITV2, 9pm It’s all about PR in this last show of the series. Pete throws himself into a big promotional push for his new single ‘Defender’. He gives phone interviews to regional radio stations, travels to the BBC and Sky and appears on The Alan Titchmarsh Show. Wowzer, hit the big time now.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Trapped: Ever After 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 Little Howard’s Big Question 4.25 Deadly 60 Bite Size 4.30 Dani’s House 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 Wallace And Gromit’s World Of Invention W and G discover the science behind new technology allowing the blind to ‘see’ through taste using hi-tech sunglasses. 8.00 Jimmy’s Food Factory Jimmy creates the foods that provoke extreme reactions, and nothing divides the nation more than yeast extract. 8.30 Nigel Slater’s Simple Suppers Stale bread, brown bananas and hard cheese are all transformed to make meals that are truly delicious. 9.00 The Apprentice See highlights. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The National Lottery Draws Presented by Scott Mills. 10.45 Film 2010 With Claudia Winkleman Film 2010 takes a look at The American, the new movie from Control director Anton Corbijn. 11.25 FILM: Thirteen Days (2000) Starring Kevin Costner, Bruce Greenwood and Frank Wood. Tense political thriller. 1.40am Weatherview 1.45 Sign Zone: Country Tracks 2.40 Sign Zone: Watchdog 3.40 Sign Zone: Masterchef: The Professionals 4.40 BBC News

6.00 – 9.10am Children’s television 9.10 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.25 The Large Family 9.40 Toddworld 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 The Daily Politics 1.00pm See Hear 1.30 Film 2010 With Claudia Winkleman 2.00 Tennis: World Tour Finals 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off 6.00 Eggheads Who will crack first? 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman presents backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the dance show. 7.00 Escape To The Country A series in which experts help prospective buyers to find their dream home in the country. 7.30 Miranda Sitcom. Worried what people might say about her life, Miranda decides to try and do some good. 8.00 Edwardian Farm Archaeologists Alex Langlands and Peter Ginn and historian Ruth attempt to bring Morwellham Quay in Devon back to life as it was in its Edwardian heyday. 9.00 Ancient Worlds Richard Miles explores the power and the paradox of the ‘Greek Thing’ – a blossoming in art, philosophy and science that went hand-in-hand with political discord, social injustice and endless war. 10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired Meet the latest candidate to be fired after a crisp selling task in Hamburg. 10.30 Newsnight Presented by Jeremy Paxman. 11.20 The Foods That Make Billions Repeat of yesterday’s show. 12.20am BBC News 4.00 Class Clips 5.00 Science On The Ground

6.25am Sali Mali 6.30 Planet Cook 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.10 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.35 Frasier 9.05 According To Jim 9.35 Cook Yourself Thin 10.05 One Tree Hill 11.00 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Jamie At Home 12.35 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.35 FILM: The Ghost And Mrs Muir (1947) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Fifth Anniversary 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons The Simpsons become immersed in Springfield’s criminal underworld when Homer becomes the don of a local mob family. 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes is delighted when Malachy wakes up, but the doctors deliver some devastating news. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv Religious and ethical issues. 8.00 Animal Madhouse See highlights. 9.00 Grand Designs Property series. 10.00 Rude Tube This episode celebrates the goodies and baddies immortalised on the web. 11.05 The Event Sean Walker goes digging for answers at Leila’s home, where he encounters Madeline, a mysterious conspiracy theorist. 12.05am MUSIC ON 4: The Album Chart Show With Tesco Entertainment: Cee Lo 12.35 On Track With Seat 12.50 Barclaycard Mercury Prize Sessions 1.05 The Album Chart Show Spotlight Sponsored By TescoEntertainment.com Music 1.20 Relentless Boardmasters In Association With Vans Presents... 1.35 FILM: Capitalism: A Love Story (2009) 3.45 Laid Off 4.00 ER 4.45 Hill Street Blues 5.35 Countdown

6.00 – 8.20am Children’s television 8.20 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.10pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 Emergency Bikers 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: Loving Evangeline (1998) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Xavier tries to salvage John and Gina’s broken relationship. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Highland Emergency A young surfer goes missing off the west coast of Scotland in treacherous conditions. 8.00 Emergency Bikers Paramedic Steve Harris has his hands full in Birmingham as he races to a suspected case of meningitis, before speeding off to assist a homeless man who claims to have been beaten up. 9.00 NCIS Ziva’s past comes back to haunt her when she witnesses an assassination by her former Mossad partner. 10.00 Law And Order: Criminal Intent Logan and Wheeler explore the world of amateur boxing as they investigate the murder of a young man Logan once mentored. 10.55 Law And Order After a mob informer is found dead, Briscoe and Green find that the trail leads to a contract killer with a cover story. 11.55 PartyPoker.com World Open VI Poker action. 12.50am SuperCasino 3.55 Emergency Bikers 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans (x3) 9.00 Champions League Goals 10.00 Football Asia 10.30 Hyundai A League 11.00 Revista De La Liga 12.00pm LIVE Tennis 4.00 Hyundai A League 4.30 Football Asia 5.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.30 European Tour Weekly 6.00 Total Rugby 6.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 Time Of Our Lives 11.00 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Carl ends things with Eve once and for all. Will a guilty Moira confess all to John? Amy tries to make herself indispensable at the B&B. 7.30 UEFA Champions League: Rangers V Manchester United Adrian Chiles presents live coverage of the big Champions League Group C match between Rangers and Manchester United at Ibrox. Glasgow-born Sir Alex Ferguson will relish the occasion, having spent two years at Rangers in his playing days. The home team must win to stay in contention for a place in the knockout stages while United are almost certain of their place in the last 16 already. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 UEFA Champions League: Extra Time Matt Smith rounds up the week’s Champions League action as Manchester United face Scottish champions Rangers in Glasgow and Spurs look to build on their win over Inter against Werder Bremen – both teams can seal a place in the last 16. 12.30am The Zone 2.30 FILM: A Shock To The System (1990) 4.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Vintage Collection 8.00 Revista De La Liga 9.00 Asian Tour Golf Show 9.30 Poker Million 11.30 European Seniors Tour Golf 12.30pm Asian Tour Golf Show 1.00 Champions League Goals 2.00 Revista De La Liga 3.00 British Basketball League 5.00 Mountain Bike World 5.30 Sailing 6.00 UEFA Champions League Pre-Game Show 7.30 LIVE UEFA Champions League 10.00 Champions League Goals 11.00 Trans World Sport 12.00am FIFA Futbol Mundial 12.30 Champions League Goals 1.30 Trans World Sport 2.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 3.00 Champions League Goals 4.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 8.00am European Seniors Tour Golf 9.00 British Basketball League 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Sports Unlimited 1.00 Pool: World Pool Masters 2.00 European Seniors Tour Golf 3.00 WWE The Bottom Line 4.00 WWE Afterburn 5.00 Test Cricket 6.00 LIVE Tennis 10.00 Golf: Ladies European Tour 11.00 Golfing World 12.00am European Tour Weekly 12.30 Sailing 1.00 Total Rugby 1.30 Golf: Ladies European Tour 2.30 Sailing 3.00 Close

Melina Greenfield

kextraterrestrial Sky1

BBC3

BBC4

ITV2

ITV3

More4

Film4

12.00pm The Biggest Loser USA 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 4.00 Bones 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 The Little Couple 8.30 Raising Hope 9.00 Bones 10.00 FILM: Demolition Man (1993) 12.15am Road Wars (x2)

7.00pm Don’t Tell The Bride 8.00 Mad About The House 9.00 FILM: The Girl Next Door (2004) 10.40 Family Guy (x2) 11.25 Love Me, Love My Face 12.25am Russell Howard’s Good News 12.55 Kara Tointon: Don’t Call Me Stupid 1.55 Mad About The House 2.55 Russell Howard’s Good News

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 A History Of The World: Suffragette City 8.00 We Need Answers 8.30 Born To Be Wild 9.00 Birds Britannia 10.00 Mad Men 10.45 Mandelson: The Real PM? - Storyville 12.00am Birds Britannia 1.00 Bird On A Wire 2.50 A History Of The World: Suffragette City

7.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 7.30 All New You’ve Been Framed! 8.00 Fearne And Craig David 9.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter See highlights 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 Kelly Osbourne Uncut: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 12.35am FILM: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

12.00pm Wycliffe 1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.20 Numb3rs 12.15am Agatha Christie’s Why Didn’t They Ask Evans?

12.10pm Veronica Mars 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Accidentally On Purpose 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Ugly Betty 10.00 Desperate Housewives 11.00 Natalie Cassidy: Becoming Mum 12.00am RuPaul’s Drag Race

2.50pm Coach Trip 3.20 Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs Revisited 8.30 Who Do You Think You Were? 9.00 Time Team 10.00 Time Team Special 11.05 Not Forgotten 12.10am Time Team

11.00am The Badlanders (1958) 12.45pm Seance On A Wet Afternoon (1964) 3.00 Bhowani Junction (1956) 5.05 The Band Wagon (1953) 7.15 How She Move (2007) 9.00 Kingdom Of Heaven (2005) 12.40am Epic Movie (2007) 2.20 The House By The Cemetery (1981) 4.00 Close

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WEEKLY CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDES! To book your space today please contact Natasha on 01273 818150 x 105 or natasha@thelatest.co.uk

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039_LS502_TV_Thurs_L7wed14apr.qxd 19/11/2010 09:22 Page 1

thursday 25 EastEnders BBC1, 7.30pm Ryan’s life is thrown into jeopardy as a desperate Janine goes to unnerving lengths to stop him seeing Stacey. Glenda embarks on a potentially devastating trail of seduction, while the Masood household is rocked to the core by a chilling visitor from the past. Frosty the Snowman with a bass guitar? Anyone’s guess.

Nigella Kitchen BBC2, 8pm First off, the likely lemon plays the starring role in Nigella’s moist lemon polenta cake. Then there’s the cheeky chocolate in gooey brownies that are effortlessly easy. Then for a touch of ooh la la, fresh pink garlic takes centre stage in a simple take on a French classic chicken dish; with 40 cloves of garlic! Ooh no no!

Meet The Parents E4, 9.30pm Oh yes, this is our kinda game show. A boyfriend must last an entire evening at his girlfriend’s parents’ house, but little does he know that everyone in the house is an actor. If the poor boyf’ can survive the whole evening he will win a holiday for himself and his girlie. Cringey humiliation at someone else’s expense. Magic.

sport

¸ terrestrial BBC1

BBC2

ITV1

Channel 4

Channel Five

Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Trapped: Ever After 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 Deadly 60 4.30 Combat Kids 5.00 Growing Up In A War Zone: A Newsround Special 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today . 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country. 7.30 EastEnders See highlights. 8.30 Traffic Cops Battle lines have been drawn up again in Hastings; Sussex’s traffic cops are hot on the trail of one of Britain’s youngest ever car criminals as he leads them on a chase around town, and they’re met with hostility when they clamp down on motorists who think they are above the law. 9.00 Have I Got News For You The popular news quiz returns, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Martin Clunes, and guest panelists Grayson Perry and Jimmy Carr. 9.30 Live At The Apollo Live at the Apollo returns with John Bishop. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 Question Time Chaired by David Dimbleby in Workington, Cumbria. 11.40 This Week A political review of the week. 12.25am Holiday Weatherview 12.30 Sign Zone: British Schools, Islamic Rules: Panorama 1.00 Countryfile 1.55 Antiques Roadshow 2.55 Start Your Own School 3.55 BBC News

6.00 – 9.50am Children’s television 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo, The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 Lifeline 1.55 Coast 2.00 Tennis: World Tour Finals 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off 6.00 Eggheads Brainy bods. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia appraises some of the costumes from the series as well as getting the latest news from inside the training rooms. 7.00 The Culture Show Andrew Graham-Dixon talks to Bridget Riley about her new show at the National Gallery. Tim Samuels investigates the educational tool of the Gateshead Grannies, and James Murphy teaches us how LCD Soundsystem create their phenomenal live sound. 8.00 Nigella Kitchen See highlights. 8.30 Autumnwatch Chris Packham and Kate Humble say goodbye to autumn and hello to winter. 9.30 Autumnwatch Unsprung Audience-led informal live discussion and debate show after the main Autumnwatch programme. 10.00 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. Team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest presenter Tim Minchin, and panellists Paloma Faith, Jason Donovan, Tim Key and DJ Target. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis. 11.20 The Culture Show Repeat. 12.20am The Apprentice: You’re Fired Repeat. 1.05 BBC News 4.00 Blast: Screen-Skills Showcase 5.00 Blast: Young And Inspirational

6.20am The Treacle People 6.30 Planet Cook 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.10 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.35 Frasier 9.05 According To Jim 9.35 Cook Yourself Thin 10.05 One Tree Hill 11.00 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 River Cottage Bites 12.15 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.15 FILM: A Room With A View (1986) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal Fifth Annivesary 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons Cartoon comedy. Bart discovers a hidden talent for jazz drumming, sparking bitter resentment from Lisa. 6.30 Hollyoaks Phil is furious that Tony gave his name to the police and that Amber gave a false alibi, which just makes him look guilty. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv Religious and ethical issues. 8.00 Beeny’s Restoration Nightmare Sarah and her husband Graham now have just six months to save their crumbling home by turning it into a wedding venue. 9.00 The Secret Millionaire Young millionaire Tom Mairs poses as a graduate looking for work experience and spends time living in Bootle, one of the most deprived areas in Britain. 10.05 True Blood Bill asks the Vampire Queen of Louisiana for advice in dealing with the cause of the madness in Bon Temps. 11.20 True Blood Sam places his trust in an unlikely ally. 12.30am King Of The Hill 12.55 King Of The Hill 1.20 Coppers 2.20 Unreported World 2.45 Dispatches: City Of Fear 3.40 Afterworld 4.05 Brothers And Sisters 4.50 ER 5.40 Countdown

6.00 – 8.25am Children’s television 8.25am Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.10pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 Emergency Bikers 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 FILM: Mickey Mouse: Lonesome Ghosts (1937) 2.55 Animal Rescue Squad 3.10 FILM: Jane Doe – Yes, I Remember It Well (2006) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Bianca becomes increasingly hesitant about her impending nuptials. Penn threatens to harm Miles and the kids, which provokes Miles to fight back. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Jaguar Adventure With Nigel Marven Nigel completes his adventure with a risky journey into the heart of the jungle for a face-toface encounter with the king of the Pantanal. 8.00 Demolition: The Tallest Tower Documentary exploring the efforts of a US demolition firm to bring down Ocean Tower, an unfinished 380ft apartment complex situated on South Padre Island in the Gulf of Mexico. 9.00 FILM: Behind Enemy Lines (2001) Starring Gene Hackman, Owen Wilson and Olek Krupa. Actionpacked thriller. 11.10 Police Interceptors Police race to intercept three men suspected of robbing a string of plumbers’ merchants. A fleeing van speeds the wrong way round a major roundabout and causes a huge crash. 12.10am SuperCasino 3.55 Emergency Bikers 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

6.00am LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 Champions League Goals 9.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 9.30 Total Rugby 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Champions League Goals 12.00pm Live Tennis 4.00 Total Rugby 4.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes 6.00 Champions League Goals 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Barclays Premier League World 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 10.00 The Rugby Club 11.00 Barclays Premier League World 11.30 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Ryan seeks revenge on Nathan. Chas twists the knife by asking a favour of Eve. Jai puts pressure on Charity to get Lisa and Zak to sell up. 8.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! There are more surprises in store for the celebrities as they continue to survive in the Australian jungle. Presented by Ant and Dec. 9.00 Coronation Street The identity of John’s stalker is finally revealed. Peter is confronted about his relationship with Carla. Graeme and David celebrate some results. 9.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The celebrities battle to survive the jungle and each other as the viewers decide who must leave the jungle forever. Nobody wants to be the first to go. Presented by Ant and Dec. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 FILM: Something’s Gotta Give (2003) Starring Jack Nicholson, Diane Keaton, Keanu Reeves and Rachel Ticotin. Romantic comedy. 12.55am The Zone 2.55 Surface 3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show 4.35 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Trans World Sport 10.00 Snow Ride 10.30 Rallyzone 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Watersports World 1.00 Trans World Sport 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 Champions League Goals 4.00 WWE Vintage Collection 5.00 World Hockey Monthly 5.30 Sailing 6.00 LIVE Tennis 10.00 World Hockey Monthly 10.30 Formula Kart Stars 11.00 Ringside 12.00am European Tour Golf 1.30 Golfing World 2.30 The Rugby Club 3.30 Ringside 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE Experience 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Total Rugby 1.30 Rallyzone 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Total Rugby 3.00 Watersports World 4.00 Trans World Sport 5.00 Rallyzone 5.30 LIVE NFL Thanksgiving Day (x3) 4.30 Close

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1.00pm UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 4.00 Bones 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Modern Family 8.30 The Simpsons 9.00 An Idiot Abroad 10.00 Raising Hope 10.30 A League Of Their Own 11.00 Wayne Rooney’s Street Striker 3 12.00am NCIS: LA

7.00pm Top Gear 8.00 Young Hairdresser Of The Year 9.00 Can’t Bully Me 10.00 EastEnders 11.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Freak Like Me 12.45 Can’t Bully Me 1.45 Russell Howard’s Good News 2.15 Young Hairdresser Of The Year

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Birds Britannia 8.30 The Beauty Of Diagrams 9.00 The Madness Of Peter Howson 10.00 Arena: The Princess And Panorama 11.00 Panorama 11.55 The Beauty Of Diagrams 12.25am The Madness Of Peter Howson 1.25 Arena: The Princess And Panorama 2.30 Panorama

2.35pm The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 7.00 The Cube: Celebrity Special 8.00 The Vampire Diaries 9.00 Fearne And Paris Hilton 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: Constantine (2005) 1.25am Coronation Street

12.00pm Wycliffe 1.05 Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 Monk 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.05 Monsignor Renard 12.45am Life 1.30 Life 2.15 On The Buses 2.40 Film File

1.05pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Accidentally On Purpose 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 The Big Bang Theory 9.30 Meet The Parents. See highlights 10.00 Misfits 11.05 This Is England ‘86 12.10am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 Misfits

2.50pm Coach Trip 3.20 Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal: Fifth Anniversary 7.25 Grand Designs Revisited 8.30 The Bed 9.00 Relocation: Phil Down Under 10.00 Without A Trace (x2) 12.00am Relocation: Phil Down Under

11.00am Mirror (1976) 1.05pm Across The Wide Missouri (1951) 2.40 Up Periscope (1959) 4.50 Singin’ In The Rain (1952) 6.50 Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan (1982) 9.00 Stop Loss (2008) 11.10 Hush (2009) 12.55am Tulpan (2008) 2.50 Mike Leigh Special 3.05 Close

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040_LS502_TV_Fri_L7wed14apr.qxd 19/11/2010 09:23 Page 1

friday 26 Coronation Street ITV1, 7,30pm & 8.30pm John gets all brave and confronts his stalker (hurrah) who threatens to destroy his marriage (boo). Naughty Nick and Lippy Leanne nearly get caught in the act, (again). A troubled Gary cannot face talking to Quinny’s parents (surprise). And Owen offers Katy and Chesney a compromise (result).

Come Dine With Me Channel 4, 8pm In Wrexham, Wales, horse-mad Maria Wynne hires a semi-nude butler to serve drinks. Nurse Steve Housego gets hot under the collar in one way and student James Stevens in quite another. Also competing is surgeon’s assistant Nadine Leese. Tears, tantrums and an unexpected furry invasion. Squeak.

Desperate Housewives E4, 11.05pm Susan begrudgingly accepts Lynette’s offer to be Paige’s nanny (well, prostitution is much more glam). Bree is in a flushed panic, too embarrassed to tell Keith she’s started ‘the change’. Gaby fears that Bob is trying to seduce Carlos, and Beth begins to question Paul’s motives on the lane. About blinkin’ time.

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Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Trapped: Ever After 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 Fee Fi Fo Yum 4.30 Horrible Histories 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show Stories that matter from across the country. 8.00 EastEnders Ian is forced to come clean about Lucy’s abortion, but is it too late as an unforgiving Jane seeks comfort elsewhere? 8.30 QI Stephen Fry asks unanswerable questions about health and safety, with Ross Noble, David Mitchell, Jeremy Clarkson and Alan Davies. 9.00 New Tricks The team investigate the death of the Chief Brewer at Felspar’s Brewery, which proves to be rather intoxicating for the boys. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 The Graham Norton Show Graham is joined by one of his showbiz heroines, Bette Midler, who talks about her life and career and performs a song from her new album, Memories Of You. 11.20 The National Lottery Draws Presented by OJ Borg. 11.30 FILM: Duplex (2003) Starring Ben Stiller, Drew Barrymore and Danny DeVito. Black comedy. 12.55am FILM: Twins Of Evil (1971) Classic Hammer horror. 2.15 Weatherview 2.20 Sign Zone: Natural World 3.20 Sign Zone: The Classroom Experiment 4.20 BBC News

6.00–9.05am Children’s television 9.05 Buzz And Tell 9.10 Tinga Tinga Tales 9.25 The Large Family 9.40 Toddworld 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo, The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 Coast 2.00 Tennis: World Tour Finals 3.45 Flog It! 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off 6.00 Eggheads Over-easy quiz. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman presents backstage gossip and behind-the-scenes action from the dance show. 7.00 Edwardian Farm It’s November and to prosper as Edwardian farmers, Alex, Peter and Ruth must get to grips with the technologies of the age. 8.00 Mastermind The subjects are: History of the SAS; Novels of Evelyn Waugh; Formula 1, 1960-1980; and Life and Films of Charlie Chaplin. 8.30 Gardeners’ World Carol turns her beloved garden into a living lab and plays host to scientific experts who help her to explore, analyse and observe her soil, compost, seeds, weather, leaves, and flowers. 9.30 Britain By Bike Clare Balding attempts to re-discover Britain from the saddle of a touring cycle. 10.00 The Stephen K Amos Show With special quests Nick Mohammed and Isy Suttie. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis. 11.00 The Review Show Round table arts discussion programme. 11.50 FILM: Irina Palm (2007) Starring Marianne Faithfull, Miki Manojlovic, Kevin Bishop, Siobhan Hewlett, Dorka Gryllus, Jenny Agutter and Flip Webster. Comedy-drama.

6.25am Sali Mali 6.30 Planet Cook 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.35 Frasier 9.05 According To Jim 9.35 Cook Yourself Thin 10.05 One Tree Hill 11.05 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 Supporting Acts 12.20 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 1.25 FILM: The African Queen (1951) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal: Fifth Anniversary 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons Bart taunts Principal Skinner with a peanut. 6.30 Hollyoaks Everyone congregates on the jetty as they mourn the lives that have been lost. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.25 4thought.tv Religious and ethical issues. 7.30 Unreported World Reporter Seyi Rhodes and director Simon Philips travel to Senegal to investigate the hidden world of the country’s Islamic schools. 8.00 Come Dine With Me See highlights. 9.00 The Event President Martinez orders Director of NI Blake Sterling to root out the mole from their staff, which causes Sterling to question his judgement of people close to him. 10.00 Peep Show Mark and Jeremy are awaiting the birth of Mark’s baby. 10.30 Robert’s Web An alternative take on the week’s online news and events. 11.05 Ricky Gervais: Politics A stand-up performance by Ricky Gervais. 12.40am MUSIC ON 4: InputOutput Featuring Egyptian Hip Hop and Sheffield’s Slow Club. 12.55 MUSIC ON 4: 360 Sessions 1.25 MUSIC ON 4: On Track With Seat 1.40 MUSIC ON 4: 4Play: Deftones 1.50 FILM: Garage (2007) 3.15 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 4.05 This Week’s 4Music Top 20 5.50 Countdown

6.00–8.25am Children’s television 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.55 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.10pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 Police Interceptors: Special Edition 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 Animal Rescue Squad 3.05 FILM: An Old Fashioned Thanksgiving (2008) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Ruby accidentally hits Penn while out on a driving lesson with her mum. 6.25 Live From Studio Five Magazine show. 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 Fifth Gear New boy Ben Collins goes head to head with Jason on the track, while guest presenter and electric car guru Robert Llewellyn tests the eco-friendly Nissan Leaf. 8.00 White Van Man Documentary series following the plucky tradesmen of Britain as they battle through the recession. 9.00 The Mentalist Jane and the team narrowly escape a fiery end when a building explodes while they are investigating a death threat. 10.00 Law And Order: Special Victims Unit A homophobic preacher is suspected of murdering a gay man with whom he was having an affair. 10.55 CSI: Miami Alexx publicly campaigns against a convicted sex offender who moves into her neighbourhood, then becomes embroiled in controversy when the man is murdered. 11.55 Cops In Crisis Documentary series. 12.10am SuperCasino Visit www.SuperCasino.com 4.05 Motorsport Mundial 4.30 Street Market Chefs 4.55 Rough Guide To Cities 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

6.00am LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 Ringside 9.00 The Rugby Club 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Ringside 12.00pm LIVE Tennis 4.00 World Sport 4.30 Barclays Premier League World 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes 6.00 Football League Weekend 7.00 Sky Sports News At Seven 7.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 10.00 LIVE Ringside 11.30 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News & Weather 7.00 Emmerdale With Nathan’s true colours revealed he finds himself out in the cold. Charity is keen to get more out of Jai. 7.30 Coronation Street See highlights. 8.00 Cheetah Kingdom Dave and Carla hope that rescued cheetah cub Quattro will bond with feisty siblings Spitfire and Hurricane so that the trio can go back to the wild as a male coalition. 8.30 Coronation Street See highlights. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The celebrities have survived two weeks in the jungle but now one more must leave as the viewers vote to send someone back to a life of luxury. With Ant and Dec. 10.30 ITV News & Weather 11.05 FILM: Doom (2005) Starring The Rock, Karl Urban, Rosamund Pike and Ben Daniels. Sci-fi action adventure based on the popular computer game. Scientists on Mars accidentally create necromutants with a taste for blood. When they run amok on a space station, the authorities send in the marines with orders to destroy all monsters. 12.55am The Zone ITV1’s place to shop and play. 2.55 FILM: Be Cool (2005) 4.55 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 WWE Raw 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics: Oz Style 12.00pm Trans World Sport 1.00 Ringside 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 The Rugby Club 4.00 Ringside 5.00 IEX Magazine 5.30 Sailing 6.00 LIVE Tennis 10.00 Snow Ride 10.30 IEX Magazine 11.00 NFL - Total Access 12.00am Golfing World 1.00 European Tour Golf 2.30 Take It Like A Fan 3.00 Football League Weekend 4.00 Premiership Rugby Union 5.30 Take It Like A Fan

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 Formula Kart Stars 7.30 ATP Tour Uncovered 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.00pm Race World 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 World Hockey Monthly 3.00 WWE Raw 5.00 Trans World Sport 6.00 World Sport 6.30 Tight Lines 7.30 LIVE Rugby Union 10.00 Take It Like A Fan 10.30 Barclays Premier League Preview 11.00 Football League Weekend 12.00am Premiership Rugby Union 1.30 Elite League Ice Hockey 2.30 Ringside 4.00 European Tour Golf 5.30 World Sport

Melina Greenfield

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1.00pm UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 4.00 Bones 5.00 WWE Superstars 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 8.00 Oops TV 9.00 Ross Kemp On Gangs: Liverpool 10.00 House 11.00 Stargate Universe 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Inside: Prison Tactical 2.40 Oops TV (x2) 3.30 Lost

7.00pm Doctor Who (x2) 8.30 The Real Hustle: Celebrity Scammers 9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 9.30 Coming Of Age 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 Don’t Tell The Bride 11.30 Family Guy (x2) 12.15am Russell Howard’s Good News 12.45 How Not To Live Your Life 1.15 Freak Like Me 1.45 Coming Of Age

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Opera Italia 8.30 The Highland Sessions 9.00 The Man Who Recorded America: Jac Holzman’s Elektra Records 9.50 Tonight In Person 10.20 Folk America 11.25 The Doors: No One Here Gets Out Alive 12.05am Motor City’s Burning: Detroit From Motown To The Stooges

1.30pm Jeremy Kyle: Morning Surgery 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.40 Loose Women 4.40 Judge Judy (x3) 6.30 The X Factor (x2) 9.00 Kings Of Leon: Excess All Areas 10.00 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 10.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.30 FILM: Mickey Blue Eyes (1998) 1.40am Coronation Street

1.05pm Heartbeat 2.05 Ballykissangel 3.10 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.10 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.10 On The Buses 5.45 Heartbeat 6.50 Wycliffe 8.00 The Ruth Rendell Mysteries: A Dark Blue Perfume 9.00 Foyle’s War 11.10 Joan Collins Uncut: Piers Morgan’s Life Stories 12.40am Wycliffe

1.00pm Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Accidentally On Purpose 4.25 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 How To Look Good Naked 10.00 Natalie Cassidy: Becoming Mum 11.05 Desperate Housewives See highlights 12.05am Scrubs (x2)

3.20pm Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal: Fifth Anniversary 7.25 Grand Designs Revisited 8.30 Missing: Claudia Lawrence 9.00 FILM: The Untouchables (1987) 11.20 Heroes Of Comedy 12.20am FILM: The Untouchables (1987)

11.00am Man Behind The Gun (1953) 12.40pm One Of Our Aircraft Is Missing (1942) 2.40 The Mark Of Zorro (1974) 4.10 Gigi (1958) 6.25 Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World (2003) 9.00 AVP: Alien Vs Predator (2004) 10.50 The Host (2006) 1.05am Vanilla Sky (2001) 3.50 Close

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041_LS502_TV_sat_L7wed14apr.qxd 19/11/2010 09:25 Page 1

saturday 27 Merlin BBC1, 7.45pm It’s about time this Arthurian legend saw a bit more questing, so it’s all good when Merlin and Arthur set out to capture the Cup of Life, a powerful artifact that brings immortality. Not unlike The Grail then. Hmm. Anyway, they soon get captured by a slave trader, one thing leads to another and the kingdom is in peril. Again.

The X Factor ITV1, 7.45pm Ye gads! There are only seven finalists left and nobody’s safe, as Aiden’s shock knockout proved a couple of weeks ago. Who’s got the most column inches in the red tops? Who’s got the most screaming fans? And who has the biggest Twitter following? It’s not as if singing and music has much to do with it anymore...

I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! ITV2, 10.40pm Caroline Flack, Joe Swash and comic Russell Kane have all the latest news on the misery the leftover celebs are going through in the name of publicity. Some might quite be enjoying it, mind you. A bit of R&R, no opening of envelopes to go to. Others might not see it that way.

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6.00am Breakfast 10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live 11.30 Nigella Kitchen 12.00pm BBC News 12.10 South East Today 12.15 Football Focus 1.00 MotoGP: Review Of The Season 2.00 Tennis: World Tour Finals 4.30 Final Score 5.15 BBC News 5.25 South East Today 5.30 Walk On The Wild Side

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 M.I. High 8.30 Mission: 2110 9.00 Live ‘n’ Deadly 10.00 Little Howard’s Big Question 10.20 Dennis & Gnasher 10.30 Sam And Mark’s Guide To Dodging Disaster 11.00 ROY 11.30 The Big Performance 12.00pm The Cut 12.25 Teensville: My Bar Mitzvah Diary 12.50 Popatron 1.20 The 5.19 Show 1.35 The Season 2.05 FILM: Waterloo (1970) 4.15 Escape To The Country 5.00 Rugby Union: Wales V New Zealand 7.15 Coast Mark Horton travels to Ravenscar to investigate the resort that never was. Eh? 7.30 Johnny Kingdom’s Year With The Birds It’s autumn, and Johnny clears out bird boxes and sorts out his new remote cameras. He wants to film the great spotted woodpecker and the wren, but the harsh winter looks as if it could spell trouble. 8.00 Dad’s Army Wartime sitcom. The ingenuity of Mainwaring’s men is put to the test. 8.30 American Dream This episode looks at those who could not square the rhetoric of the dream with the reality of their lives, and those who wanted a different dream and a different America. 9.30 Have I Got A Bit More News For You Extended version of the popular news quiz, with team captains Paul Merton and Ian Hislop, guest host Martin Clunes and guest panellists Grayson Perry and Jimmy Carr. 10.15 QI XL Stephen Fry asks unanswerable questions about health and safety, with Ross Noble, David Mitchell, Jeremy Clarkson and Alan Davies. 11.00 FILM: Youth Without Youth (2007) Starring Tim Roth, Alexandra Maria Lara, Bruno Ganz. Drama. 1.00am FILM: Night Of The Demon (1957)

6.00 – 9.00am Chidlren’s television 9.00 The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody 9.25 The Cool Stuff Collective 9.50 Planet Sketch 10.00 All New You’ve Been Framed! 10.30 The Crocodile Hunter Diaries 11.30 This Morning: Saturday 12.30pm ITV News & Weather 12.35 FA Cup Live 2.50 FILM: Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride (2005) 4.20 Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 1: Behind The Magic 5.20 Meridian News And Weather 5.30 ITV News & Weather 5.45 New Britain Does The Funniest Things 6.45 All New You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill presents more hilarious home footage filmed by viewers on their camcorders and mobile phones. Today’s show includes a soda bottle blowout, a woman using stairs as a slide and the great British workforce. 7.15 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Harry Hill gets down to business skewering all the funniest, quirkiest and downright silliest clips from viewers’ favourite shows. The week’s TV is not complete without the big-collared comic’s hilarious spin on the big soap storylines, and with all the top docs, dramas and reality shows also primed for the trademark Burp ribbing, watch out for another laugh-packed treat. 7.45 The X Factor See highlights. 9.40 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! There are more surprises in store for the celebrities as they struggle to survive another day in the jungle. Presented by Ant and Dec. Is it you who keeps voting to send the screamers into the Bucktuckers trials? Is it? Is it?! 10.40 ITV News; Weather 10.55 FA Cup Highlights Matt Smith presents the best action from the FA Cup second round. 12.25am Dating The Enemy 12.55 The Zone 2.55 Surface 3.40 Sons & Daughters 4.05 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.35am Planet Cook 6.55 World Sport 7.25 Extreme Sailing Series 2010 7.55 The Morning Line 8.50 Friends 9.20 The Album Chart Show With Tesco Entertainment: Alesha Dixon Special 9.55 Ugly Betty 10.55 Koko Pop With Vision Express 11.25 Friends 11.55 4Music Video Honours 12.55pm Scrubs 1.25 Scrubs 1.55 Channel 4 Racing 3.55 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals 4.25 Come Dine With Me 4.55 Come Dine With Me 5.25 Come Dine With Me 5.55 Come Dine With Me 6.25 Come Dine With Me Cookerybased reality show. Ana, the final host of the week, attempts to impress her guests with a seafood starter and beef main course. Yum! 6.55 The Political Slot Andrew Lansley, Secretary of State for Health, talks about social enterprises in the NHS. What, look after yer nan? 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.25 4thought.tv 7.30 Grand Designs Property series. Kevin McCloud pays a return visit to Thomas and Dervla O’Hare, who previously set out to build a modern, split-level home cut into a steep hillside in Belfast. Has it fallen over? 8.30 Apocalypse: The Second World War This episode looks at the turning of the war against Germany, with Allied victory at El Alamein and Russian triumph at Stalingrad. 9.30 FILM: Sweeney Todd (2007) Starring Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman, Timothy Spall, Sacha Baron Cohen and Jamie Bower. Adaptation of Stephen Sondheim’s gothic musical. 11.45 FILM: Genova (2008) Starring Colin Firth, Catherine Keener, Hope Davis. After losing his wife in a car accident, university prof Joe accepts a teaching job in Italy, relocating there with his two daughters to start afresh. 1.30am FILM: Downfall (2004) 4.05 The OC (x2) 5.35 Countdown

6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Little Princess 8.20 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.30 Play! 8.45 Castle Farm 8.55 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 George Shrinks 10.00 Your Sport 10.15 Fifth Gear 10.45 The Gadget Show 11.45 Emergency Bikers 12.50pm FILM: Murder Most Foul (1964) 2.35 FILM: Fly Away Home (1996) 4.40 Five News 4.45 FILM: Cahill: US Marshal (1973) 6.50 Five News 6.55 The Mentalist US drama series. Repeat of Friday’s show. 7.45 NCIS Drama series. An officer’s apparent suicide develops into a murder hunt when it is found that the victim was involved in a love triangle. Is it too much energy to just once have a love square? 8.40 NCIS Drama series. The prime suspect for the murder of a marine on a college campus is also found dead, leading the team to believe that both were involved in a deadly game. 9.40 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series. When a private investigator turns up dead in what looks like a Mafia hit, Warrick finds himself under suspicion for murder but cannot recall his own actions. A touch of Reagan-itis. 10.45 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Drama series about a team of forensic investigators in Las Vegas. The CSIs investigate the mysterious death of a comedian in a locked room, and also examine the bullet-riddled body of a dangerous fugitive. Not so funny business. 11.40 Forensic Files Documentary series. 12.10am SuperCasino 4.05 Fifth Gear 4.30 HouseBusters 4.55 The Family Recipe 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00am LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 Live European Tour Golf 1.00pm Cricket: The Ashes 2.00 LIVE International Rugby Union 5.00 Cricket: The Ashes 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 9.00 LIVE Spanish Football 11.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 11.30 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

6.00 The Impressions Show With Culshaw And Stephenson Jon Culshaw and Debra Stephenson return with a new series of their sketch show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing Bruce Forsyth and Tess Daly present the dance competition, as the seven remaining stars go all out to impress. Once again, the couple dance for judgers’ scores and viewer votes. Laugh or cry, you’ll be hooked by them thar sequins. 7.45 Merlin See highlights. 8.30 The National Lottery Saturday Night Draws Dosherooney promises. 8.40 Casualty Medical drama series. When the ED comes under scrutiny from a whip-cracking administrative advisor, Jay starts a mutiny. However, his actions may have dire consequences for Ruth. 9.30 The Armstrong And Miller Show Sketch show starring Alexander Armstrong and Ben Miller. Accident-prone art historian Dennis Lincoln-Park returns, alongside newer characters and returning favourites. 10.00 BBC News 10.20 Match Of The Day Gary Lineker presents Premier League highlight. 11.40 The Football League Show Manish Bhasin presents highlights from the Football League. 12.30am Weatherview 12.35 News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 World Sport 7.00 Take It Like A Fan 7.30 Football League Weekend 8.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.00 Barclays Premier League Preview 9.30 Take It Like A Fan 10.00 Soccer AM 12.00pm Take It Like A Fan 12.30 LIVE Ford Football Special 3.15 Sky Sports Classics 3.30 Ringside 5.00 Live Football League: Championship 7.30 You’re On Sky Sports 8.25 Football First: Game Of The Day 10.15 Football First: Match Choice 11.45 Football First: Match Choice 1.15am Football First: Match Choice 2.45 Football First: Match Choice 4.15 Spanish Football 5.45 Sky Sports Classics

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Sports Unlimited 7.00 Tight Lines 8.00 NFL - America’s Game 9.00 WWE: Smackdown 11.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 12.00pm Live Tennis 4.00 IEX Magazine 4.30 World Sport 5.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 6.00 LIVE Tennis 10.00 Sailing 10.30 World Sport 11.00 International Rugby Union 12.00am WWE: Late Night Superstars 1.00 WWE NXT 2.00 WWE: Late Night Smackdown 4.00 WWE: Late Night Bottom Line 5.00 Sailing 5.30 IEX Magazine

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12.00pm Best Of Oops TV 1.00 Malcolm In The Middle (x2) 2.00 Modern Family (x2) 3.00 Liza And Huey’s Pet Nation 4.00 The Real A & E 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Middle 6.30 The Simpsons (x3) 8.00 Steve Jones In The Jones Boys’ Amazon Adventure 9.00 FILM: The Siege (1998) 11.15 Fringe 12.15am Classic Albums

7.00pm World Cup’s Most Shocking Moments (x2) 7.20 Rugby Union: England v South Africa Highlights 8.20 Top Gear 9.25 FILM: Scary Movie 3 (2003) 10.40 Russell Howard’s Good News Extra 11.25 Family Guy (x2) 12.10am American Dad! (x2) 12.55 FILM: The Girl Next Door (2004) 2.35 Russell Howard

7.00pm Life 8.00 Birds Britannia 9.00 FILM: OSS 117: Cairo, Nest Of Spies (2005) 10.30 Mad Men 11.20 Getting On 11.50 Delphi: The Bellybutton Of The Ancient World 12.50am On The Streets 2.20 Birds Britannia 3.20 Life

4.00pm The Xtra Factor 5.15 All New You’ve Been Framed! 5.45 FILM: Dragonheart (1996) 7.45 New Homes From Hell 8.45 Lose 30 Stone Or Die 9.40 The Xtra Factor 10.40 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! See highlights. 11.40 FILM: You, Me And Dupree (2006) 1.55am Harry Hill’s TV Burp

6.20am Ironside 7.15 Ironside 8.15 Monk 9.10 Upstairs, Downstairs 10.15 Upstairs, Downstairs 11.20 Foyle’s War 1.30pm Foyle’s War 3.30 Foyle’s War 5.45 Inspector Morse 7.55 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Wire In The Blood 11.00 Cracker 12.05am Swingtown 1.00 Inspector Morse 2.50 Drama Trails

10.30am Supernanny US (x2) 12.20pm Natalie Cassidy: Becoming Mum 1.25 Hollyoaks Omnibus 4.00 Make It Or Break It 4.55 Friends (x3) 6.30 Ugly Betty 7.30 The Big Bang Theory 8.00 How I Met Your Mother 8.30 Friends (x3) 10.00 FILM: Cellular (2004) 11.50 Scrubs (x2) 12.50am Gok’s Fashion Fix

9.00am A Place In The Sun 9.30 Time Team 10.30 Time Team 11.30 FILM: Desk Set (1957) 1.30pm Grand Designs Revisited (x5) 6.55 Relocation: Phil Down Under 7.55 Alan Bennett And The Habit Of Art 9.05 TV Adverts’ Greatest Hits 11.15 Sex In The 70s 12.20am TV Adverts’ Greatest Hits 2.20 Sex In The 70s

11.00am A Man Alone (1955) 1.00pm Big Business (1988) 2.50 The Cat Returns (2002) 4.25 On The Town (1949) 6.20 Coach Carter (2005) 9.00 In Bruges (2008) 11.10 Six Shooter 11.35 Alien 3 (1992) 1.45am All Tomorrow’s Parties (2003) 3.40 Close

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sunday 28 Strictly Come Dancing Results BBC1, 7.30pm There’s no Brucie but there’s plenty of tension as the results roll in from the phone lines and combine with the judges’ scores. Will comedy triumph over technique with the fickle public? Tess Daly and Claudia Winkleman throw smiles the contestants’ way as one readies for the chop.

Donald Trump: All American Billionaire BBC2, 9pm Note that title: he’s not just a millionaire, he’s a billionaire. That’s loads of spondoolahs. But how did he get it all? Emily Maitlis tells the incredible story of his rise and rise, with unprecedented access to his family and to him, and asks about his latest projects over here.

The Vampire Diaries ITV2, 8pm If you’re going to have beautiful people all living in one small American town then you’ve got to at least have a reason as to why they’re constantly looking beautiful as they run trough the woods without any acknowledged hairspray... Vampires? That’ll do. Interesting info from the past comes to light.

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6.00am Breakfast 7.35 Match Of The Day 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00 Fern Britton Meets... 11.00 Country Tracks 12.00pm The Politics Show 1.00 Match Of The Day Live: Norwich City V Ipswich Town 3.20 EastEnders 3.50 Drop Zone 4.50 Points Of View 5.05 Songs Of Praise 5.40 BBC News 5.50 South East Today

6.00am The Pingu Show 6.15 Bob The Builder: Ready, Steady, Build! 6.25 Penelope 6.30 Guess With Jess 6.40 Postman Pat 7.00 Arthur 7.15 Muddle Earth 7.25 Sportsround 7.40 Bear Behaving Badly 8.00 Scoop 8.25 Hotel Trubble 8.55 Diddy Dick And Dom 9.00 Deadly 60 9.30 Horrible Histories 10.00 Something For The Weekend 11.30 Rugby Union: England V South Africa Highlights 12.20pm EastEnders 2.15 Rugby Union: Ireland V Argentina 4.45 Flog It! 5.15 Tennis: World Tour Finals 8.00 Making Scotland’s Landscape Professor Stewart reveals how hearts and not heads have ruled the least understood landscape of them all – the sea. The public’s emotions have played a key role in the fate of Scotland’s maritime creatures and the upshot has been a form of lottery. While some species like seals and sea birds have been protected, others – like cod – have been fished nearly out of existence. 9.00 Donald Trump: All American Billionaire See highlights. 10.00 The Trip Comedy series starring Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon. For their fourth meal together, they are at Hipping Hall. Another chance to catch last Monday’s episode. 10.30 Match Of The Day 2 Colin Murray introduces highlights of the day’s Premier League matches, as defending champions Chelsea face a tough task at St James’ Park where Newcastle have enjoyed some big wins this season. 11.30 Never Mind The Buzzcocks Anarchic, award-winning pop quiz. Team captains Noel Fielding and Phill Jupitus are joined by guest presenter Tim Minchin, and panellists Paloma Faith, Jason Donovan, Tim Key and DJ Target. 12.00am The Stephen K Amos Show 12.30 FILM: Stolen Summer (2002) 1.55 BBC News

6.00am Boblins 6.15 Boblins 6.25 Boblins 6.35 Fluffy Gardens 6.45 Mickey Mouse Clubhouse 7.10 Bookaboo 7.25 Monk 7.30 Jimmy Two Shoes 7.45 Back At The Barnyard 7.55 Shaggy & Scooby-Doo: Get A Clue! 8.20 Phineas And Ferb 8.40 Phineas And Ferb 9.00 The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody 9.25 FA Cup Highlights 10.55 This Morning: Sunday 11.40 The X Factor 1.35pm ITV News & Weather 1.40 Coronation Street Omnibus 3.55 Midsomer Murders 6.00 FA Cup Third Round Draw The excitement reaches fever pitch as the draw is made for the third round of the FA Cup. Crikey O’Reilly! 6.20 Meridian News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather 6.45 Harry Hill’s TV Burp Repeat of yesterday’s show. 7.15 All Star Family Fortunes Actor and comedian John Thomson takes on Hollyoaks and Strictly Come Dancing star Ricky Whittle. Vernon Kay’s suit tries to outshine the lot. 8.00 The X Factor Dermot O’Leary reveals the results of the latest public vote. The two acts with the fewest votes must perform again in the singoff before the judges decide who will be going home. Or cop out. 9.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The celebrities have survived jungle life and each other but now one more must leave as the viewers vote to send a contestant back to their normal life. 10.30 ITV News; Weather 10.45 FILM: Intolerable Cruelty (2002) Starring George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Geoffrey Rush, Billy Bob Thornton. Comic drama. The ex-wife of a wealthy philanderer seeks revenge upon the divorce lawyer who represented her husband. 12.30am Rugby Highlights: Aviva Premiership 1.15 The Zone 2.00 Motorsport UK 3.00 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

6.20 – 7.00am Children’s television 7.00 Freesports On 4 7.30 The British Gas Great Swim Series 8.25 Sony Ericsson B-Boy World Series 8.55 The Album Chart Show With Tesco Entertainment: N-Dubz Special 9.30 Hollyoaks Omnibus 12.00pm Live And Lost With Blackberry 12.05 The Wanted: Video Exclusive 12.15 Ugly Betty 1.10 Friends 1.40 The Simpsons 2.15 The Simpsons 2.45 FILM: Ice Age 2: The Meltdown 4.25 The Simpsons 5.00 Deal Or No Deal 5.50 FILM: Alvin And The Chipmunks (2007) 7.30 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Undercover Boss USA White Castle’s David Rife poses as a new recruit in the fast-food chain his grandfather founded in 1921. After making a huge mistake on the first day of his new job, he soon realises that the state of the business is a long way from Grandfather’s vision. 9.00 Any Human Heart Four-part drama about a writer’s eventful life which spans the 20th century. Ian Fleming recruits Logan as a British agent, where he travels to Portugal to keep an eye on the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, who have been flirting with the Nazis. Logan’s next assignment takes him to the Bahamas to keep tabs on the couple. However, not long into his stay, he is embroiled in a murder investigation. 10.25 Desperate Housewives Quirky comedy drama series. Susan begrudgingly accepts Lynette’s offer to be baby Paige’s nanny, and Bree is too embarrassed to tell Keith she is beginning the menopause. Meanwhile, Renee makes a tempting job proposition to Lynette. 11.25 8 Out Of 10 Cats Jimmy Carr presents the topical comedy panel show. 12.15am The Real Housewives Of New Jersey 1.10 American Football Live 4.45 The Blenheim Triathlon 5.10 Grudge Match 5.25 Countdown

6.00 – 8.05am Children’s television 8.05 Little Princess 8.20 The Adventures Of Bottle Top Bill And His Best Friend Corky 8.35 Family! 8.45 Castle Farm 9.00 Olivia 9.15 The Mr. Men Show 9.30 George Shrinks 10.00 ICarly 10.35 True Jackson, VP 11.10 Your Sport 11.20 Street Market Chefs 11.50 Andre Rieu Live In Dublin 12.50pm The Andre Rieu Story 1.20 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green 2.25 FILM: Gattaca (1997) 4.25 FILM: Grounded (2006) 6.10 Five News 6.15 FILM: Spider-Man 3 (2007) Starring Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Topher Grace, James Cromwell. Superhero sequel. The life of Peter Parker and his arachnid alter ego is shattered when a mysterious black entity bonds with his suit and begins to turn him to evil. At the same time, he faces challenges on three fronts: from an escaped convict named the Sandman, a fanged villain called Venom, and his old friend, Harry, who has adopted the persona of the New Goblin. And you thought you’d had a tough week. 9.00 FILM: Beowulf (2007) Starring Ray Winstone, Angelina Jolie, Anthony Hopkins, Charlotte Salt, Robin Wright Penn, John Malkovich. Digitally rendered epic. Scandinavian warrior Beowulf fights to protect the Danes from the ferocious beast Grendel. Against the odds, Beowulf manages to defeat the beast, only for Grendel’s mother to set out on a quest for revenge. 11.10 FILM: Anacondas: The Hunt For The Blood Orchid (2004) Starring Johnny Messner, Kadee Strickland, Matthew Marsden. Horror sequel. Can you gues what it’s about? 1.00am SuperCasino 4.00 HouseBusters (x2) 4.50 Your Sport 5.00 Hana’s Helpline 5.10 The Milkshake! Show 5.35 Thomas & Friends 5.45 Roary The Racing Car

6.00am LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 International Rugby Union 9.00 UEFA Champions League Weekly 9.30 Sunday Supplement 11.00 Goals On Sunday 1.00pm LIVE Ford Super Sunday 3.30 LIVE Ford Super Sunday 6.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 7.00 LIVE Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE Spanish Football 10.00 Ford Football Special 11.30 LIVE Cricket: The Ashes

6.00 Jimmy’s Food Factory Repeat of Wednesday’s show. 6.30 Countryfile Rural affairs programme. 7.30 Strictly Come Dancing Results See highlights. 8.00 Antiques Roadshow Fiona Bruce and the team visit Hatfield House in Hertfordshire. Amongst the objects exciting the experts are doll’s house furniture made out of shell cases from the Somme in World War One. Gives a whole new answer to the song’s question: ‘War. What is it good for?’. 9.00 Garrow’s Law Drama set in the late 18th century. One sailor bravely exposes the corruption at the Greenwich Hospital, and finds himself in a Newgate cell. Southouse accuses Garrow of mixed motives as his uses the case to attack The Admiralty, and, in particular, its Under Secretary, Sir Arthur Hill. 10.00 BBC News 10.15 South East Today 10.25 The Impressions Show With Culshaw And Stephenson Comedy sketch show featuring Jon Culshaw and Debra Stephenson. 10.55 The Apprentice Repeat. 11.55 Weatherview 12.00am Sign Zone: Coast 1.00 Sign Zone: Louis Theroux: Law And Disorder In Lagos 2.00 Holby City 3.00 Who Do You Think You Are? 3.45 BBC News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Aerobics: Oz Style 6.30 Football First: Match Choice 8.00 Football First: Match Choice 9.30 IEX Magazine 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Racing News 11.30 International Rugby Union 12.30pm Seamaster Sailing 1.00 Watersports World 2.00 Cricket: The Ashes 3.00 LIVE Tennis 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 10.00 European Tour Golf 11.30 Tennis 1.00am Scottish Premier League 1.30 Spanish Football 3.30 Ford Football Special 5.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 5.30 Scottish Premier League

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Seamaster Sailing 6.30 Spanish Football 8.00 LIVE European Tour Golf 1.30pm Elite League Ice Hockey 2.30 Seamaster Sailing 3.00 International Rugby Union 4.00 Sailing 4.30 Cricket: The Ashes 5.30 LIVE NFL 9.00 LIVE NFL 12.30am European Tour Golf 2.00 Tennis 3.30 Close

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1.30pm Modern Family (x3) 3.00 Fat Families: Second Helpings 4.00 The Real A & E 5.00 Futurama (x2) 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 The Middle 7.00 Wayne Rooney’s Street Striker 3 8.00 The Simpsons 8.30 Modern Family 9.00 Bones 10.00 House 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Night Cops 1.00 Law And Order

7.00pm The Real Hustle: Celebrity Scammers 7.30 Sherlock 9.00 Gavin And Stacey 9.30 How Not To Live Your Life 10.00 Family Guy (x2) 10.45 American Dad! (x2) 11.30 Gavin And Stacey 12.00am How Not To Live Your Life 12.30 Being Human 1.30 Being Human 2.25 FILM: Scary Movie 3 (2003)

7.00pm Time To Remember 7.30 How Earth Made Us 8.30 More Dawn French’s Girls Who Do: Comedy 9.00 The Real Cabaret 10.00 FILM: The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 11.55 Mandelson: The Real PM? - Storyville 1.10am How Earth Made Us 2.10 Motor City’s Burning: Detroit From Motown To The Stooges

4.15pm FILM: No Reservations (2007) 6.15 FILM: Richie Rich (1994) 8.00 The Vampire Diaries. See highlights. 9.00 The Xtra Factor 10.20 Zac Efron: The Hot Desk 10.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.30 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 12.30am FILM: The Jacket (2005)

7.55am Heartbeat (x2) 10.05 Foyle’s War (x2) 2.25pm FILM: The Lion In Winter (1968) 5.10 Mr Bean 5.45 The Darling Buds Of May (x2) 8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot 9.00 Housewife, 49 11.10 FILM: Shakespeare In Love (1998) 1.30am PD James: Unnatural Causes 3.20 Film File 3.30 Drama Trails

9.55am Supernanny US (x2) 11.50 Wife Swap 12.50pm Wife Swap USA 1.50 How To Look Good Naked 2.55 Friends (x2) 3.55 FILM: School Of Rock (2003) 6.00 Glee 7.00 Life Unexpected 7.55 Friends (x2) 9.00 FILM: Zoolander (2001) 10.45 Rude Tube 11.50 FILM: Slither (2006) 1.45am Supernanny US (x 2)

1.50pm Celebrity Coach Trip (x5) 4.35 Come Dine With Me (x5) 7.30 Paul O’Grady Booked 8.00 Jamie’s 30 Minute Meals (x2) 9.00 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 10.00 Father Ted 10.35 The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret 11.10 Hung 11.50 Black Books 12.20am The IT Crowd

11.00am The Valley Of Gwangi (1969) 1.00pm Revenge Of The Pink Panther (1978) 2.55 North By Northwest (1959) 5.30 Carry On Behind (1975) 7.15 How She Move (2007) 9.00 A Mighty Heart (2007) 11.05 Final Destination 3 (2006) 12.50am The Death Of Mr Lazarescu (2005) 3.55 Close

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monday 29 Miranda BBC2, 8.30pm It’s great to find a comedy that allows pratfalls, posh mothers and a lady of above average height. That’d be Miranda, getting well stuck in to the second series of her rather successful comedy about stuff that just happens. ‘S great. This week all the men in Miranda’s life turn their affections her way all at once. Hell.

The Lazarus Effect Channel 4, 11.30pm Not quite as miraculous as Lazarus himself, who came back from the dead, but this does look at four people with HIV/AIDS whose health has been transformed for the better. After living near-death existences, thanks to antiretroviral medication they all became remarkably healthier. Brilliant.

Misfits E4, 11pm What d’you mean you missed it on Thursday?! Good thing there’s another chance to catch up on this brilliant ASBO superhero series tonight. The mysterious masked saviour does some saving when Alisha gets into a spot of trouble on the estate, and guess what? It turns out her powers don’t work on him. Hmm.

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Sky Sports 1

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain 10.00 Homes Under The Hammer 11.00 Real Rescues 11.45 To Buy Or Not To Buy 12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News At One 1.30 South East Today 1.45 Doctors 2.15 Missing 3.00 BBC News 3.05 Trapped: Ever After 3.30 What’s New Scooby-Doo? 3.50 Shaun The Sheep 4.00 Hotel Trubble 4.30 Blue Peter 5.00 Newsround 5.15 The Weakest Link 6.00 BBC News At Six 6.30 South East Today 7.00 The One Show 7.30 Inside Out Nick Wallis tackles the tenants who refuse to pay rent or move out. 8.00 EastEnders A desperate Ryan tries to track down Stacey and Lily. 8.30 FIFA’s Dirty Secrets: Panorama Panorama investigates corruption allegations against some of the FIFA officials who will vote on England’s World Cup bid. 9.00 Accused Series of dramas, created by Jimmy McGovern. Helen, a primary school teacher, stands accused. She tells the jury of the tragedy that led her to commit a terrible crime. 10.00 BBC News At Ten 10.25 South East Today 10.35 A Question Of Sport The sports quiz returns for a brand new series, with Sue Barker asking the questions to regular team captains Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell. 11.05 Freddie Flintoff: Ashes Warrior Following Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff over the course of a year. 11.45 The Graham Norton Show Anarchic talk show. 12.35am Weatherview 12.40 Sign Zone: The Apprentice 1.40 Masterchef: The Professionals 2.10 The Story Of Science: Power, Proof And Passion 3.10 Secret Iraq 4.10 BBC News

6.00 – 9.40am Children’s television 9.40 Toddworld 9.50 Pingu 10.00 Waybuloo 10.20 Clifford’s Puppy Days 10.30 Pablo The Little Red Fox 10.35 3rd And Bird 10.50 Wibbly Pig 11.00 In The Night Garden 11.30 Animal Park: Wild In Africa 12.00pm The Daily Politics 12.30 GMT With George Alagiah 1.00 Due South 1.45 Film 2010 With Claudia Winkleman 2.15 Ready Steady Cook 3.00 Murder, She Wrote 3.45 Flog It! Ten Of The Best 4.30 Pointless 5.15 The Hairy Bikers’ Cook Off 6.00 Eggheads Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz show. 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing – It Takes Two Claudia Winkleman chats exclusively to the latest eliminated couple. 7.00 Johnny Kingdom’s Year With The Birds Spring has arrived and the great spotted woodpeckers have abandoned their roosting site and found a new tree to nest in, but with 20 acres of woodland Johnny will have his work cut out to find it. 7.30 Paxman Meets Hitchens: A Newsnight Special Jeremy Paxman interviews Christopher Hitchens. 8.00 University Challenge In another second round match University College London plays the University of Sheffield for a place in the quarter finals. Jeremy Paxman asks the questions. Smart alecs. 8.30 Miranda See highlights. 9.00 Ian Hislop’s Age Of The DoGooders See Telly Talk. 10.00 The Trip Comedy series starring Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon. Steve and Rob visit the world famous Malham limestone pavement, before eating at the Yorke Arms. 10.30 Newsnight In-depth investigation and analysis of the stories behind the day’s headlines. 11.20 Donald Trump: All American Billionaire Repeat of yesterday’s show. 12.20am BBC News

6.00am Daybreak 8.30 Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning 11.25 ITV News 11.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose Women 1.30 ITV News & Weather 2.00 House Gift 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal 4.00 Midsomer Murders 5.00 The Alan Titchmarsh Show

6.10am Sali Mali 6.15 The Treacle People 6.30 Planet Cook 6.50 Yo Gabba Gabba 7.15 Freshly Squeezed 7.40 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.05 Everybody Loves Raymond 8.35 Frasier 9.10 According To Jim 9.40 Friends 10.10 One Tree Hill 11.05 Smallville 12.00pm Channel 4 News Summary 12.05 A Place In The Sun: Home Or Away 1.05 FILM: The Undefeated (1969) 3.25 Countdown 4.10 Deal Or No Deal? 5.00 Come Dine With Me 5.30 Four In A Bed 6.00 The Simpsons 6.30 Hollyoaks Mercedes is devastated to learn that she is not welcome at Malachy’s funeral. 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.55 4thought.tv 8.00 Dispatches: The Kids Britain Doesn’t Want Through the stories of a 10-year-old Iranian, a 16-year-old Afghan and a 22-year-old Ugandan woman, Dispatches takes a closer look at the experiences of young people who feel they have been let down by Britain’s asylum system. 9.00 Coppers Hard-hitting documentary series. With exclusive access to Greater Manchester Police’s Tactical Aid Unit. 10.00 Chris Moyles’ Quiz Night Comedy quiz show. Guests include Jimmy Carr, Holly Willoughby and Gavin Henson. 10.55 3 Minute Wonder: Turner Prize 2010 11.00 Peep Show Sitcom. Mark and Jeremy are at the hospital, awaiting the birth of Mark’s baby. 11.30 The Lazarus Effect See highlights. 12.10am MUSIC ON 4: The Album Chart Show With Tesco Entertainment: N-Dubz Special Music series 12.45 Party Poker: Premier League Poker 1.40 FILM: Alfie (1966) 3.35 Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip 4.20 FILM: Princess Mononoke (1997)

6.00 – 8.00am Children’s television 8.00 Fifi And The Flowertots 8.15 Peppa Pig 8.25 Peppa Pig 8.30 Thomas & Friends 8.40 Hana’s Helpline 8.50 Ben And Holly’s Little Kingdom 9.05 Milkshake! Music Box 9.15 The Wright Stuff 10.45 Trisha Goddard 11.45 House Doctor 12.15pm House Doctor 12.40 Five News 12.50 Ice Patrol 1.45 Neighbours 2.15 Home And Away 2.50 The Family Recipe 2.55 FILM: Sherlock Holmes Returns (1994) 5.00 Five News 5.30 Neighbours 6.00 Home And Away Romeo is furious when Indi confesses to reading his letter. 6.25 Live From Studio Five 7.00 Five News At 7 7.30 How Do They Do It? Robert Llewellyn asks how the world’s petrol pumps are kept supplied with billions of litres of fuel each day, and how the Swiss Army knife is made. 8.00 The Gadget Show The presenters race across London in their own action-packed take on the classic Monopoly board game. 9.00 Extreme Fishing With Robson Green Fishing adventure show with Robson Green. The intrepid Geordie heads to Panama in Central America, where more game fishing records are held than anywhere else in the world. Making the most of the Pacific and Atlantic coasts, Robson goes in search of peacock bass, tarpon, dorado, sierra mackerel and some big-game billfish. 10.00 FILM: Hard To Kill (1990) Starring Steven Seagal, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Sadler. Action drama. An LA cop uncovers a crooked politician’s plot, but before he can expose it, his family is killed and he’s left in a coma. Fast forward seven years – he wakes up after revenge. Naturally. 12.00am The Gadget Show 1.00 SuperCasino 4.00 The FBI Files 4.45 House Doctor 5.10 Michaela’s Wild Challenge (x2)

6.00am LIVE Cricket: The Ashes 8.00 Ford Football Special 9.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 10.00 Cricket: The Ashes 11.00 Spanish Football 1.00pm Cricket: The Ashes 2.00 Ford Football Special 3.30 Super Sunday: The Last Word 4.00 Cricket: The Ashes 5.00 Super Sunday: The Last Word 5.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 6.30 Netbusters 7.00 Sky Sports News 7.30 LIVE Spanish Football 10.30 Netbusters 11.00 SPL RoundUp 11.30 Barclays Premier League Review 12.30am A League Of Their Own 1.00 Spanish Football 2.30 Football League: Championship 4.00 FIFA Futbol Mundial 4.30 Max Power 5.30 FIFA Futbol Mundial

6.00 Meridian Tonight 6.30 ITV News; Weather 7.00 Emmerdale Roz is suspicious about Holly’s recovery. Alicia is not keen for Justin to have Jacob at Christmas. 7.30 Coronation Street Will Nick and Leanne give in to their desires? Carla breaks down after confessing the truth to a suspicious Michelle. 8.00 The Victim’s Tale: Tonight Fiona Foster investigates whether victims are the poor relation in the criminal justice system. 8.30 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! The celebrities battle each other and the jungle as the public vote one more contestant back to a life of luxury. Hosted by Ant and Dec. 10.00 ITV News At Ten; Weather 10.35 Real Crime With Mark Austin: WPC Sharon Beshenivsky – Death On Duty The story of how West Yorkshire’s Homicide and Major Enquiry Team brought to justice the gang that shot WPC Sharon Beshenivsky dead during a bungled robbery. 11.35 Robson Green’s Wild Swimming Adventure Second of a two-part programme in which Robson Green embraces the pursuit of outdoor swimming. 12.30am The Zone 2.30 UEFA Champions League Weekly 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 ITV Morning News

Sky Sports 2 6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 European Tour Golf 10.30 Scottish Premier League 11.00 Ringside 12.30pm Premiership Rugby Union 2.00 Canter Banter 2.30 European Tour Golf 4.00 Scottish Premier League 4.30 Ringside 6.00 Snow Ride 6.30 Extra Time 7.00 Sailing 7.30 LIVE Football League: Championship 10.00 Sailing 10.30 Extra Time 11.00 Spruce Meadows 12.00am Cricket: The Ashes 2.00 Spruce Meadows 3.00 Sailing 3.30 Barclays Premier League Review 4.30 Close

Sky Sports 3 6.00am Aerobics 6.30 Snow Ride 7.00 WWE: The Bottom Line 8.00 Elite League Ice Hockey 9.00 Premiership Rugby Union 10.30 Seamaster Sailing 11.00 Racing News 11.30 Aerobics12.00pm NFL 2.00 Snow Ride 2.30 Seamaster Sailing 3.00 International Rugby Union 4.00 WWE: Raw 6.00 Fishing Gurus 6.30 Fishing Gurus 7.00 Spruce Meadows 8.00 Cricket: The Ashes 10.00 WWE: Bottom Line 11.00 WWE: Afterburn 12.00am WWE NXT 1.00 WWE: Vintage Collection 2.00 LIVE WWE: Raw 5.00 Close Victoria Nangle

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12.00pm X-Weighted 1.00 UK Border Force 2.00 Stargate Atlantis (x2) 4.00 Bones 5.00 Malcolm In The Middle 5.30 Futurama 6.00 Oops TV 6.30 The Simpsons (x2) 7.30 Modern Family 8.00 Best Of Oops TV 9.00 Road Wars 10.00 NCIS: LA 11.00 Cold Case 12.00am Road Wars (x2) 1.50 Inside: Alaska’s Toughest Prison

7.00pm Merlin 7.45 Doctor Who 8.30 Freak Like Me 9.00 The World’s Strictest Parents 10.00 EastEnders 10.30 How Not To Live Your Life 11.00 Family Guy (x2) 11.45 The World’s Strictest Parents 12.45am Freak Like Me 1.15 How Not To Live Your Life 1.45 Mad About The House 2.45 Love Me, Love My Face

7.00pm World News Today 7.30 Ancient Worlds 8.30 Only Connect 9.00 The Art Of Germany 10.00 Berlin 11.00 The Real Cabaret 12.00am The Art Of Germany 1.00 FILM: The Edge Of Heaven (2007) 2.55 The Art Of Germany

4.40pm Sally Jessy Raphael 5.30 Judge Judy (x3) 6.55 All New You’ve Been Framed! 7.25 Harry Hill’s TV Burp 8.00 Peter Andre: The Next Chapter 9.00 The Only Way Is Essex 10.00 I’m A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! 11.00 FILM: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) 1.05am Coronation Street

10.00am Ballykissangel 11.10 On The Buses 11.45 Wycliffe 12.50pm Heartbeat 1.55 Ballykissangel 3.00 Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman 4.00 Daily Cooks Challenge 5.00 On The Buses 5.35 Heartbeat 6.40 Wycliffe 7.50 Jeeves And Wooster 9.00 Lewis 11.00 Hornblower 1.05am Wycliffe 2.00 The Grand

12.10pm Veronica Mars 1.05 Scrubs (x2) 2.05 Friends 2.35 Hollyoaks 3.05 Gilmore Girls 4.00 Accidentally On Purpose 4.30 Friends (x3) 6.00 Scrubs (x2) 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Friends (x3) 9.00 Scrubs (x2) 10.00 The IT Crowd 10.30 Pete Versus Life 11.00 Misfits. See highlights. 12.05am Scrubs (x2) 1.05 The IT Crowd

2.50pm The Coach Trip 3.25 Location, Location, Location 4.25 A Place In The Sun: Home Or USA? 5.30 Relocation, Relocation 6.35 Deal Or No Deal 7.25 Grand Designs 8.30 The Playboy Murderer 9.00 Grand Designs 10.00 Lady Randy: Churchill’s Mother 11.05 Without A Trace 12.05am Grand Designs

11.00am Beau Brummell (1954) 1.10pm The Badlanders (1958) 2.55 Singin’ In The Rain (1952) 4.55 Merrill’s Marauders (1962) 6.50 Gallipoli (1981) 9.00 Jumper (2008) 10.45 Monster (2003) 12.50am Mirror (1976) 3.10 Close

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