Invisible Mending by Dennis Greig

Belfast Lapwing

_____________________ INVISIBLE MENDING

JOHN O’MALLEY

Belfast LAPWING

First Published by Lapwing Publications c/o 1, Ballysillan Drive Belfast BT14 8HQ lapwing.poetry@ntlworld.com www.lapwingpoetry.com Copyright © John O’Malley 2012 Copyright Cover Image ‘Big Tree’ © Conor O’Malley 2012 All rights reserved The author has asserted her/his right under Section 77 of the Copyright, Design and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work. British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library. Since before 1632 The Greig sept of the MacGregor Clan Has been printing and binding books

Lapwing Publications are printed at Kestrel Print Unit 1, Spectrum Centre Shankill Road Belfast BT13 3AA 028 90 319211 E:kestrelprint@btconnect.com Hand-bound in Belfast at the Winepress Set in Aldine 721 BT

ISBN 978-1-907276-97-2

CONTENTS

A BETTER WAY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A FAMILY WEDDING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ADVICE TO A LADY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ALL BIG STADIA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ALL THE DEADLY SINS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ALMOST MISTAKEN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ALWAYS A NEW MYTHOLOGY . . . . . . . . ATTEMPTS AT WHAT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AWARENESS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BACK TO TORONTO . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BAD BREATH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BAFFLING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BANGING THE TABLE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BE SATISFIED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BEAUTIFUL COUNTRYSIDE . . . . . . . . . . . BLOKE TALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BONA MORS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . BUILDING A BIKE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CAN’T STAY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CAN’T BE SURE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CANNOT COMPLAIN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CARTOON TIME . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CASE FOR THE PROSECUTION . . . . . . . . CASTLES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CLIFF WALK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . CLOCKING IT UP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . COMING DOWNSTAIRS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . DEADLY SILENCE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . DEMENTIA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . EXCITEMENT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . FAMILY STUFF . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . FATTY CAME OFF . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . FOLLOW YOUR DREAM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . iii

7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40

FOR TRUTH TO TELL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . GETTING READY FOR LIFE . . . . . . . . . . . HAPPY DAY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . HARDLY A LIBRARY MAN . . . . . . . . . . . . HELLO MY DARLINGS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IN THE SACRISTY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR . . . . . . . . . INVISIBLE MENDING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . LAST FULL DAY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . LIKE A BRIAR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . LOOKING FOR A SONG . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . LOOKING FOR WHAT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . MAKE EACH DAY COUNT . . . . . . . . . . . . . MAMMY – COMING UP TO CHRISTMAS . MARK THE OCCASION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . MILFORD AT ITS BEST . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . MORNING CUPPA . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . MY BEST SELLER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . NOT ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE . . . . . OUT OF THE DIOCESE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . REJECTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . RESEMBLANCES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . RIDDLE ME RIDDLERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SELF HARM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SHOPPING BAG POEM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SIDE ALTARS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SOMETHING COMES UP . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SOUTHEND ROUTINE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . SYMPATHICO . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . TALES OF DEVILMENT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE DRUMMER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . THE INTERNAL DIALOGUE . . . . . . . . . . . THE MIRROR AND THE LAMP . . . . . . . . . THIRTY YEARS ON . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . TIME STANDING STILL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . iv

41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 73 74 75 76

TO HAVE BEEN A CHILD . . . . . . . . . . . . . UP AGAINST IT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WHAT IRISH EMIGRANTS MISS MOST . . WORTH DOING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . DON’T BE AFRAID . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . GET YOUR CHANCE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WHAT KIND OF OLD PERSON . . . . . . . . . THE CORPSE HOUSE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84

i.m. Margaret (nee Hourigan) Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Malley 1913 - 1911

John O’Malley

A BETTER WAY Outside of yourself the people that love you most and leave you alone the doctors who send me for blood tests, chest x-rays, ecgs. Monitored as well as can be expected. The elderly share more than we care to admit: Ailments – children – grandchildren Friends – all those precious visits. In good and bad weather. They all come back – pay off. Nothing has to rhyme.

Invisible Mending

A FAMILY WEDDING I know what black tie looks like We called them monkey suits Tall fellas are only clothes horses In those days it was known To keep the hired garment For over a week almost sleep In it – not saying we all did – Wore a hired dress suit On our first date – time issues Boys and girls learning Then stopping the drink – Keeping an eye on things Lots of lads like me Meet them all the time It’s simple really – careers suggest You learn early how to say Yes to the good things Discern later when to say no.

John O’Malley

ADVICE TO A LADY On this blustery night Could hardly rain again Talks of rare coal fire Instead chance the cold Old newspapers blowing Read “better conditions For prisoners” the wind Whistling –attempting A decision to convince My old self I will not Write again-but on I go Sufficient light to see Yonder –folks worse off Some I become close to Seriously for my intimate friend Be good as I carry on regardless.

Invisible Mending

ALL BIG STADIA Public transport a must – walk a mile Meet the very same guy we met Eamon Lives near Paddy at home in Listowel He taught special needs – knows my friend’s Good qualities – gives us a lift through The sea of colour-in our places before The teams run out to a cacophony of sound. Spine tingling –Fifth Floor Premium seats Woe betide if you misread your section Or your seat number-the voucher for food Means you go a secret corridor down To the next floor –The Hogan Mezzanine Food Hall is empty at half time-it’s expensive No time to sit down and be back in time All that food going to waste –can’t find Our way back up the exit doors locked – Bouncers don’t want to know-pass John O’Shea he has many mouths to feed. The Goalie man has seen enough Thankfully smokers break out On another floor glad to get a cup of tea

John O’Malley

ALL THE DEADLY SINS Reminders of immortality Hearing Bill Long’s posthumous Voice then being gifted with his book Where he interviews rich and famous All nice guys deep down – just like Larry Who shows me the soccer programmes Famous matches indeed the ones before And after the Munich Disaster…. I too collected programmes – Sam Brown Was my man around the back – swapped For Charlie Buchan’s Monthly – moments Where you rubbed shoulders with the greats

Invisible Mending

ALMOST MISTAKEN Dan the rapper took the trouble to text Nearly did not get to meet him There was a Henner on in Ashtown I had to collect and mind people By accident and misstexting I managed To meet the old work colleague Find each friend is so special Then when opportunity knocks Share as much as is reasonably appropriate Tell the part of the tale that is interesting To yourself and generally valuable As a career benchmark down the line

John O’Malley

ALWAYS A NEW MYTHOLOGY So many older men like myself – Life expectation goes on and on. Nurses like yourself keeping us alive Alive oh – Malachi up in Banks Fourth floor on the Beaumont Walk up, do me good – so they say… Operation Transformation – happy with 17A Tommy Broughan looks after the geriatric Hence no young Labour Revolution My pal waffles on about cycling to Connemara All the policies that failed since the Foundation Of the State – lots of harmless yarns – more innocent Times – even benign, the less well off were taken care of – Cultural expression as Gaeilge – everyone loved That bit of independence – the slagging was huge We look out over Lambay, Ireland’s Eye That’s Howth over there-he has no interest Loves hearing sound of his own voice.

Invisible Mending

ATTEMPTS AT WHAT? Getting in touch with something tangible All the world and its mother – my own failing Coming up to a century of toughing it out – This man alongside me repairing a side fence He went missing the weekend – assumed It was Spain – certain sameness surrounds Us blurting out the minimum details Sitting on the freshly varnished bench He won’t even spell out the dead man’s Name – we are so ashamed of events Completely outside our control – The effect it has on us – work – Sweat some more – drink something A little stronger than tea – love everyone Living as they walk and talk – the unnamed One has decided to keep his Secret forever

John O’Malley

AWARENESS The extraordinary value of commitment To a cause that loosens up the mind On the last Sunday of the month Holding on until the text comes We are leaving London Heathrow Be in at ten – go to departures two Black ice here and there, lo the new Building that was not there last time A tail wind brought ye in ahead Of schedule – the mighty hugs – relief. Though you are tired in great humour Looking forward to the next challenge In laughter like Uncle Singh the absurdity That is found throughout a place called India – that’s a good few of us Have sampled the experience Despite Delhi belly and long dusty Journeys – lived to tell the tales

Invisible Mending

BACK TO TORONTO Second time round from Montreal Came through Cabbagetown Irish built this place, now the houses Look art deco – must have done well No more interesting race than us Post famine, building Basilicas The guide hands it up to us You will never beat the Irish Beautiful ornate staircases Travelling leads to pressure When we don’t get off the merryGo-round, have to keep talking When the shops close – Mike And I take in the sights I always find a church open Few of the colonies lack Churches of all sizes built When we had little but Faith in strange and wonderful places gift in itself-a glow and a treat Each town is glorious in its simple Difference: something for learning

John O’Malley

BAD BREATH From Scartaglen to Manhattan Poor thing gave her all – waitressing I had three hours dental treatment So I have become extra sensitive Her breath was overpowering As she explained tipping strategies Businessmen holding up tables Giving cents when she could have earned Fifty bucks if she were the owner Once or twice she acted – almost Lost her job – we whiled away Our journey time as she regaled Me with Jewish meanness yarns In Florida caught by ski cops As her employer broke the limit To get the free fruit juice

Invisible Mending

BAFFLING In Talbot Street you were rushing over to Merchant’s Road We were going to have a bite in 101 a party for Michael D. Who until today seemed unassailable as Presidential material This election campaign went on too long – people now opting For the younger man – that night Daughter you were visited With a fainting fit – which led to the removal of a tumour You were the lucky one Emer that you had Chrissie With you that night as you convulsed – you now know With proper medication there is no mystical visitation Though our panic to get to the Mater that night subsided What an extraordinary life you lead – I don’t say this as doting Dad but dealing with all the challenges leading you to Rome

John O’Malley

BANGING THE TABLE She never understood why I got worked up I do and I did – even today seeing my son Suffer – oh and we chatting he is in love And so am I and we are not in denial. He loves the lovely Spanish Lady I am sure I love his mother after All these years – she loves me back Rarely does a lad ask his Dad Well for advice – I could demur I have seen the scar on his belly There since the op – he was ten days old Who is and is not a chip off the old block Oh the weight of knowing – sponging off Little bits of knowledge – can’t be praying All the time hope others’ work comes true And go away and rest awhile – it works

Invisible Mending

BE SATISFIED I am often visited by friends I do it myself – let off steam Palpable anger sometimes People losing jobs – homes In negative equity – listen To the future plans hope The economy picks up We have worked our way Through toughest of times Eager to help every stray The way the money goes Not fair to spouse – working mother To consult before making rash Decisions or giving stuff away Use the talent God gives The rest must follow

John O’Malley

BEAUTIFUL COUNTRYSIDE Few cars on the road – too much spicy Food in the stomach – Mammy moves To Milford House to the Blue nuns – This moving from one place to another At ninety eight years of age unavoidable – Aware forever of lost property issues Frustrating ringing phones that don’t answer Yet if you meet the right uniformed officer No better men to oblige than public servants I give you books-once more you are out of house And home – then myself on the way back up between Luas – bus-train – more small gifts mislaid We discuss our small and large gains Living in this house over 36 years Most of us around here moved once From temporary accommodation remembering Being broken into once or twice – amazing The effect breaking and entering has-on our psyche

Invisible Mending

BLOKE TALK Our conversations generally Hinge around matches – wives Bad decisions we were forced into Against our better judgement It’s a minor skirmish compared To a public spat-poor style Not anticipating shut mouth Forget the anticipated disagreement Win – win insists you give in Even before you are precise Late or early it’s all the one If you never get there only A date or a better or worse hair Day – see or do something – conflict Only arises when you cut loose Not caring whether you win or lose

John Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Malley

BONA MORS Obsessions come in shoals Sandwiches, books for the journey Water in bottles and rain coats Almost forgot my plugged in mobile Got Mass in the Lourdes chapel Father Joe Young preaching on gratitude Fair auld theme when like it or no Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never ready to be buried Only preparing to die in our own bed There used to be a Sodality Before tablets became available Fr Conor Naughton an ascetic Had special devotions for a happy death Many Limerick ladies went-never fought Never worried about Breast Check, drank or smoked

Invisible Mending

BUILDING A BIKE Almost got your birth number correct Only the one year out of place The back roads up to Howth Village Lots of stone walls and timber seats All the way round twice from Baldoyle The rain holds off – breakfast outside Laugh with Paul Gaffney jesting He worked for Larry O’Grady Not the other way round Friendly people are few Has to be no relation – can’t find themes From nowhere – easily thrown around With folk who belong to a tradition There is Frank Gaffney making light Of Parkinson’s disease-can cycle Though wobbly walking – courage From a life with the Ramblers Club He rarely missed a Sunday when not Working – long hours in Leo Laboratories A long way home after double shifts

John O’Malley

CAN’T STAY She had this notion a taste of goose From November on we scarcely discussed Anything else through all the floods where To find a goose it was good humoured Did we know anyone that keeps geese Great pity to see the poor creatures Locked in a cage – pick one you can Have it killed – plucked – ready for the oven Yesterday the poor frozen creature Cut in two – my mother won’t have reheats I have to get back to Dublin a little matter Of a grandson – he may have conjunctivitis And I have some other things to do Arising out of this awful budget Then there is the book launch Arranging a venue – yet I can smell The goose grease I’m told Mother Is boiling the remains – too tough for words

Invisible Mending

CAN’T BE SURE On a busy Saturday desperately Trying to get it all in – the rugby That for some reason did not make It on to any national network – savage To disallow Michael Corcoran commentary – How we were destroyed in New Zealand. Need to sit down and recite my few lines Before I quietly expire – blessing on the Jesuit Fathers for keeping the Oratory Ajar not That there is ever many clamouring to enter – As You Like It – in the campanile – gates Not open – an Elizabethan pageant In the open air – such energy – need to take Sanctuary to simply sit down and rest If I get the buzz back the poetry And the actors do the rest – no rain To bother a couple of hundred of us We enjoyed Love and Madness On balance for this old soldier Beats subtitles and a scary plot

John O’Malley

CANNOT COMPLAIN The way things drift and shape us Pull all the books off the shelves From Chardin to Kipling to Sean Treacy – They accent it Tracy around Nenagh Just to emphasise the point Willie Whom I had not laid eyes on for fifty Years came over to me as if it was only Yesterday – we had a conversation But it is artificial all the revisiting We are nearly old men – good In some ways to go back to long ago – But our lives are down – nearly over

Invisible Mending

CAPTAIN MY CAPTAIN David Wallace seriously reflective as a player Injured – maturely went through the rule book As she stands today – ok – game ruined as a spectacle No excuses back home none of the Homes ever Going to live with the Kiwis – we all dreamed Of a final – heroically losing – not this way. No glory in defeat – yellow or red – six yellows All adds up – our production line not fast enough We learn by development even brave referees The madness of lifting dropping what is intentional? Rugby players mean bastards – Rolland got it just right I would like my grand children to play a safer game

John O’Malley

CARTOON TIME Leaving the wee man to the Royal Nursery – not a problem with issues Of security those hazel eyes The greetings “hello Charlie” Charming two year old plus I made the mistake of waiving his siesta We paid a big price on energy levels The swings and slides finished both Old man or tired child no novelty Learnt to go with the sad flow Eventually the lad gives in – know better To make sure he catches afternoon nap

Invisible Mending

CASE FOR THE PROSECUTION Colm walking badly, limping down to shelters, Lady mad for a chat, complaining towel wet From the day before – set me on my way Wondering about several friends myself Included – who choose to swim year round Why do we do it – bravado, the thrill Sensation of cold water, good for the heart Better circulation on one condition alone: The sun must provide sufficient heat To warm your body up – there is an age factor No doubt – seaweed, no jellyfish attached – pleasing – I moved to indoor pools for a year or two Then that had to go – dossing in saunas Whirlpools, Jacuzzis no swimming pool – Reckoned more chances of skin disease Unless our climate changes for long periods Assure you lads wet suits the only answer

John O’Malley

CASTLES Never being an Aristocrat Find purchasing fraught – Trying to break into publishing Need to become a subscriber To many quirky magazines – Loving poetry need not Be too expensive – There is always a deal Don’t like to be seen negotiating Too crassly – it’s the Sterling You can have PayPal Or even send cash No cheques or drafts – I want the books to learn How to go about the business Enjoy reading the opposition At worst see what gets through Even a rough diamond like myself Needs some self screening We’re no patriots on our own Every time we pick up a pen Heaven only knows how easy It is to mislead ourselves as to The value of what we are doing Such a pecking order need to Pickup a few tips to continue

Invisible Mending

CLIFF WALK Since coming to town So much of life tied up In this Holy Place Whether up here Or down around the harbour Proposed to herself up here Used to come up to the Summit Felt it was the top of the world Even when we had very little Tried to do the courting properly Nicely in happiness do try To be generous with another Could mature into love And it does, if you arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Mean about spending money Or donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t spend it all on drink

John O’Malley

CLOCKING IT UP Keeping a car twelve years Demands a backward glance I fondly look at the file A year on – thousands Of miles where did we go – Those tiny parts requiring Replacement, washers and plugs Oil changes – such reverence Respect for mechanics – arguments Raged amongst ourselves When are you getting a new car It gave up several times was towed I never lost heart – through exhausts Bad luck – never had a puncture Learnt terms did not understand Bought new parts from dismantlers Always value for money – moved Furniture – electrics – providing She was roadworthy we travelled On battery changes –new tyres Maybe four tow a ways-sixteen Major services over the years

Invisible Mending

COMING DOWNSTAIRS Her washing scattered around for our niece the carer to bring some order to the front room Her Dad driving up from Caherdaniel To make sure mother won’t miss Mass In the local parish church – see the statue From the backroom window – hear her Moving around below – it’s only after six – My night on as dutiful son – sufficient To bring me down at first light pencil And paper in hand-acknowledging The great life she led throughout Most of the last century – love for our Dad Mentioned – he is quietly missed. As a game we add up his years Allowing their lives to become Potted history projects… Sitting in the good room waiting For rain to come….

John O’Malley

DEADLY SILENCE Blue skies suddenly disappeared Greyness mirrors my mood Visit to Church Committee room Something I have to cover for Paddy Here comes the sunshine time to take The last election results, sympathise – Get to know the victors – enjoy The honeymoon period getting real – Size one another up – the hunger for office The Loony left have a few more Big days organising at the drop of a hat This is our glorious system – satisfaction At such massive melt down – excitement To see what can be done without losing the head

Invisible Mending

DEMENTIA Tied for time, say what’s On your mind – all the fears Of years – Mam’s poor head – Can’t have hair done – scabs not pretty To look at – on a one to one The privilege of just being there Sun shining early – no looking back Harsh words understood – Take out no bad feeling from anger Rollover, push on – provide our own Do it yourself kit-keep the diary up to date To see if things can be quickened up. All the untidy sarcasm between her sons Won’t ever take away health and safety Issues – why she would prefer to light gas ring From the concealed gas fire with a taper – The tablets to be swallowed down – look Light at the end of the garden

John O’Malley

EXCITEMENT Hardly able for the comings and goings To the Airport – now ye off to Paris Great to see you both so well Thanks for inviting me to the session Brief as it was I could close the eyes Marvel at two blind Swiss girls Playing Irish music in a house Midday today in Foxfield When nothing much works think of them Warming up on fiddle and tin whistle Easy questions – captive audience Miracles do happen right in front of our eyes

Invisible Mending

FAMILY STUFF Putting in place people who will look After our Mother becomes difficult As the siblings squabble over who Is included or excluded jealousies Surface as old wounds bleed The person who did the bandaging No longer able or allowed To act the matriarch â&#x20AC;&#x201C; seems We are obliged to leave our own Needs aside how to achieve For me is shrouded in mystery A way forward slippery â&#x20AC;&#x201C; unknown

John O’Malley

FATTY CAME OFF When the lights came up In the Lyric – Savoy – Coliseum Tivoli – Royal – Grand Central We could have some sort Of a say, impressed with What we saw on the screen. We were generally boys Beaten into good manners Cockney boys in the audience Had plenty to say – “look Mates he has scoffed the lot” – Old fatty came off his horse Some of the lads not playing Games had issues with weight, Without walking or playing games

Invisible Mending

FOLLOW YOUR DREAM Tried to get through earlier – That funny old phone system To no avail this Bank Holiday As Kerry tear up the form book I hope you are making a good Recovery – so much time spent Coming and going to hospitals – On this the 150th of the Jesuits Coming to keep us reading And writing – you took another Great step for the likes of myself Confirming a method by accident Discovered on leaving school Let life question you intimately As good as praying all the saints But do both if you can at ease

John O’Malley

FOR TRUTH TO TELL Eating is not allowed in the library Scenes of near tragedy – tired more Than I know – up the wrong side At the Howth Road Junction A warning sometimes to say no Even to a loving spouse Leave the poetry books back Takeout a rake of biographies Waiting in the Raheny Library Meet my son and my wife Chance coffee and chat No time to call on Deirdre And Adrian who have massive News – baby Sophie born By caesarean to Juanita and Paul – The good news to Mauritius Parents to come over in a few months And Fulham keep on going….

Invisible Mending

GETTING READY FOR LIFE How does one prepare for a young man’s 35th Birthday-go back to the warm day in Tinnerana, Lough Derg, on the Shannon my Mammy saying “where were you, June’s gone into Holles Street” men not much use in any situations – maybe faint – Gerard Drops me back to the street where I spent 22 happy tears working across the road – no paternity leave – take a few days off – Begin by cleaning his name up from seagull Droppings with a lemon – what else – leave Flowers at the Memorial find out what Everyone else is doing – a vague tribute Of sorts one of our girls visits a friend In St Pat’s Hospital – Dad pays the 2.20 euro An hour, you would imagine – Governors Would welcome patient visits – never mind Nor forget what a visit can do to the bewildered No labels on the bag of beer the lads at sixteen Took to Kikmucridge – coincidence the beverage Bought in Talbot St originated in Londis cheaper Somewhere in Wexford – no plan – sort of homeless For a night or two – Jackeen’s beer ran out – togetherness As on your Anniversary – eating, listening to jazz With lovely friends was all your coming of age Kevin – we fondly remember – happily all of us Poets are born out of teenage anxiety – as you smiled You knew how good looking smart – well Cared for all those last tough couple of years – Meet us now London, Rome or back in Dublin

John O’Malley

HAPPY DAY That’s me standing posing First Communion picture I had a box of sweets all To myself to share as I please The spire in the background Is St Michael’s Church of Ireland. I believed Jesus had come Into my heart and soul Those hymns last forever The holy pictures – the prayer Booklet – how often I would Kneel and repeat prayers Those of the pious-visionary – Aunt Nonie she believed too

Invisible Mending

HARDLY A LIBRARY MAN In the writing of poetry as therapy Recall a red haired man named Lennon A U.C.G. fellow under-grad pal of the Brains Mc Kiernan when all was sweet before Paddy Mc Niece took his own poor life. We were great fellows in Goldhawk Road Reheating Hungarian goulash out of tins, That John Lennon also a great debater Persuaded this young pup to buy the books – Some lessons come off the back of a bus Middle aged men read each others’ obits Sufficient energy to go into town – Stay out of the cold say a prayer For the love of good women It’s about time to acknowledge we thought We knew it all working in Walls, Cadby Hall, Hammersmith going to the dogs Or the flicks to avoid getting hooked On the drink – just enough confidence To travel come home – be less greedy

John O’Malley

HELLO MY DARLINGS Sadly Charlie the service provider Cancelled the conversation recorded On our last visit but the good news Was the joy the Dodo brought to us. Now that I can ring you anytime and you me Try and get some sleep at night, every night It does not come easy to some families – For your mom’s sake model yourself On dad as a sleeper the best I can say Is the complete set of snaps gone In the afternoon post – all our love Little boy – look forward to meeting up After Easter here or over there Be as good as you always are chum

Invisible Mending

IN THE SACRISTY Up in Howth to meet Michael Give him back his poems Jokey curate remarks on Bermudas Not a serious punter all jokes I told him he had cursed me By even mentioning Easter eggs Before the event – must be the training As an altar boy the ease with which I make friends with clerics – realised Their daily routine obsession With meal times not unlike My own mother – preparing food All her life – keeping a good table For priest, child or relative Dinner usually in the middle of the day. She loved her potato – something savoury. God her now different obsessions: lists Of things left behind – property, small Little items in her own fair hand Personal religious objects: rosary Beads, medals. Clothing down to colours – Cardigans, tights all replaced over and over What is to become of the wardrobes full Of her style since nineteen thirty-nine

John O’Malley

INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR We would all love to be seen to display fine Table manners say something nice when provoked Not to be disturbing the peace, urinating in public Alas the most appropriate response would seem To be Silent – tend your garden properly, Keep friendly with the neighbours Help survivors – ignore those who frown On the homeless – desperately, sincerely Hanging on to the Lord Jesus Christ In the morning , afternoon, all night long. Dealing with the crisis when it comes: Living alone or in relationship – Bring to the Samaritan healing – Share the tragedy – ours alone to tell.

Invisible Mending

INVISIBLE MENDING Some dog’s escaped from Dawn View Near where Kevin’s bag was found As maps can show it’s accurate – I can repair the poem if asked Howth is our place of dreams. No nonsense nurse Mary Goes up to meet June – dogs Held up against the skyline During the war years that Place served as a hospital – Feel safe in our favourite places In those days survived on little Sad times ignorant in ways Magic for the innocent coming along

John O’Malley

LAST FULL DAY The old pair slept it in Now they rearrange the furniture Sadness for myself no more assist From this end glasses washed Cans and bottles in the boot The flight in the early morning Brighton not the end of the world Your dream of becoming a nurse In a real sense continuing Men see the tradition carrying on a profession But the smiling person underneath As on that one day I visited you Inside the main door in St Vincent’s See you soon over in Southend Minding Charlie’s new little brother So enjoy the privilege card Travelling around-be our Star Leave the sauce with dinner

Invisible Mending

LIKE A BRIAR Coming from the twenty four hour shop Leaving the immigrants – the Pikies. I can’t sense my own rage-lack of food Reminds me of a child in a cot staring Into space – lost for I don’t know what I punch in the wrong alarm code Angry for no reason the moon Not an excuse, no reason to cut loose Restraint is a bye word – seeing And not believing as health not great. Cannot be taken for granted – Jesus, the grace to know to pray Without self pity at this crux In my slow recovery – one for myself

John O’Malley

LOOKING FOR A SONG The object of our exercises Living life to the full Woke up to hear Brendan Kennelly Admitting to be a self confessed Loner – where the loneliness vanishes To wander – bump into other folks Then to hear him come alive Providing his service in dimpled Shy smiles a God given Charismatic Gift-lucky he was recognised Early so he passed it on for years As a mentor-tough on himself To hide the grief inside He got up and swore to be himself

Invisible Mending

LOOKING FOR WHAT Taking fresh air along Portmarnock – Training a trotting horse in out of the sea Six times he rides the horse in-breaking – Training-slowly tough man – against The horse’s will – not ready yet To have the reins put on – won’t be forced Between the shafts – far out a flotilla Of a smallish boats heading slowly Towards Malahide in and out of the sun Lambay gleams invitingly – the kiosk Opens his doors to the town dwellers A few brave souls volunteer to go in From the sheltered spot-hope the blubber Keeps them warm – that untrained horse Could do with a drink or a feed – some ordeal

John O’Malley

MAKE EACH DAY COUNT The hospital corridors empty A few of us trying to keep The hospital handicapped troop Open – one man was there for the long Haul – we prayed for Michael early This last day of June – the family there – Tony the toughest cookie of the lot Got Michael’s fullest support Right through the years …. The young fellow went wild One night and I locking up He was down on the tracks. A free spirit pretending He was capable of looking After himself – sadly without Michael, the system not sufficient

Invisible Mending

MAMMY – COMING UP TO CHRISTMAS She starts by saying “I’d love the taste of a goose” What’s behind this? I fondly ask. Herself Her sisters out in the Yard or haggard. Bringing home the geese-maybe the fox Was skulking around – Grandfather Had a gun – if I ask her again She will say “what do want to know for” She writes all the time herself – in my boyish Style I long to see her in her prime Hanging out the washing – she always So busy-six children, the patients The maids, the babies, doctors and nurses. Just now she is hesitant, uncertain – Afraid her mind is tricking her – The stuff that might be missing All the damage done to her poor brain Watch all the tablets she has to take Her endurance unbelievable That cussed will power-we say the prayers She can go astray but the gist of it Is never lost. It’s another world. Our children had to move on. The carers are truly brilliant – I am just about hanging in.…

John O’Malley

MARK THE OCCASION Our youngest called after Cory Aquino Who died after a long colon illness She had become President of the Philippines When her husband was shot – very influential Even after she stepped down, successful With street protests, keeping military In their proper place – now my Cory great To have Daddy’s girl home again Take your time sorting yourself out Keep the day job – I had a good few Stopped counting a long time ago here I am, you can talk to me

Invisible Mending

MILFORD AT ITS BEST All of us gathered Pentecostal style To listen to Sinead and Marion Reassuring us that our efforts To care for Mammy were never In vain – it was never about money Supporting each other, drawing On the needed emotional strength Clarification aplenty – ways of listening To our mother cognitively impaired No easy answers as our loss increases Her power diminishing – good times Trying to explain what is happening

John O’Malley

MORNING CUPPA My last cup before we part Carer regaling Mammy and me – Stomach churning stuff One of us mentioned nits – Off she went describing This beautiful child Titian hair flowing down – Underneath walking with head Lice – her mother suffering From depression – immediately Transferred to hospital – Pauline Asked to don gloves and white coat Refused – not to frighten the child Indian doctor has a look – promises To come back in a minute – holding A Tesco jar of mayonnaise – applies Most of the contents – child is relieved Of the mass of insects – we finish Our coffee – I ask Pauline to check Eamon cutting the grass – has he moved The garden furniture – I’m on my way Mammy off to respite – break over

Invisible Mending

MY BEST SELLER To be booked into the home place In somewhere called Listowel Never to forget the skill of a J.B. Keane Yet startled more than ever By words – reviews – intellectuals. Oh it’s grievous to take what happens Too seriously as the flotillas move away – The N.G.O.’s cry out for a plan for Haiti. Where do we start to build again? They say money will do it and yet It never seems to really lift the poor. Indifference, greed – there are the committed Few who try and lead after such disasters

John O’Malley

NOT ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE Early Friday morning Baluba Sent for a comb for sorting Ladies hair – shops don’t open yet. Beautiful Indian Lady not an employee Amazed in mini Boots shop to find No combs for sale-strange stock on High St. Buses go to Golder’s Green from Pilgrim Lane John Keats sent us a very sunny day indeed. To sit on the seat on the main street Meet my son soon to share his stories Interviewing writers where else – Hampstead Heath – now coming to meet his Ma and Pa. Kind Brendan gave us a free gaff – took in Up market cinematic experience never saw The like serving drinks as you enjoy latest Offering – we had supper and walkabout The place to be lots of lively young things

Invisible Mending

OUT OF THE DIOCESE John Kiernan married Mary Hayes Newtown Gore to Kilmihill I stayed with them in Seven Kings Memory takes me over – Robin Phoning me in Lourdes, John died. Here goes the relations, the friends The Rumbold’s – Birmingham’s Mr Currie the landlord another Failed project: Holy Pictures. Can’t name them all – young man Full of himself setting up pints In St Anthony’s Club on Hurling All Ireland Final Day – Tipp must have been On the Sacred Sod – Mick Hanley Involved in all that success – failure. Drink played a major part in everything We said or did – from Myles’s bottle Of wine every night – all my life Eccentricity the name of the game Brentwood Diocese – St Bart’s Copy Books Teaching and religion – God Help Us

John O’Malley

REJECTION If we added up the time spent Discussing our feelings of rejection It would be a lovely holiday indeed. So easy to dwell on the negative For form’s sake we adapt a dialogue With one another – when it suits Ignore another’s constant need To be looked out for – watched Until such time as we are well again – Disappointment in the Arts is par For life’s course as we forever postpone Values of truth and honesty that hurt – Take the coverage of Bloody Sunday How down here we could look on Wonder at the conflict – how to contain it Make sure it does not spill over the Border

Invisible Mending

RESEMBLANCES Caught Chrissie at a busy time – So much of the past comes back Like a letter from Kevin to Granny Never saw this one before – Written from the Hospital: Such optimism on his side Did not the doctors say soon He would be off all medication That’s all he wanted – to be well again Looking through all the photos So many features in your lads Look alike afternoon – on my own, Must be missing the real stars Chatting to Charlie not the same As a visit to swings and slides

John O’Malley

RIDDLE ME RIDDLERS Final decision, public reading No more Senior Gaelic or Hurling Teams to distract – no excuses Can’t blame the Ma’s carers Locke’s Bar – White House Missed opportunities – The Autumn of our lives Celebrate some Italian Martyr Red all over the Peoples Park My most brilliant front garden. Growing up in 19 Barrington Street Limerick’s boast with our Love Of good Literature-the gates The flowers – bandstand beautifully Restored – public toilets closed Perfectly good port-a-loos – reading With Jake Hogan at last – old school Chum took us long enough to get It all together – thanks Dominic Terri and the crew – Mammy hale and hearty Ninety-nine years coming up The privilege of coming home: Great venue Foley’s upstairs Writers hearing each others’ work

Invisible Mending

SELF HARM At the time we knew little enough Learnt as we observed – never forget That initial sight of his arms Destroyed with detergent From the wash up – Kevin said He was bullied – they wouldn’t Provide him with gloves – What we didn’t realise Another sufferer showed Kevin how to cut his skin To witness such an event Even a decade on is fearful His skin pock marked His thoughts haunted I only got a vague notion What these messages Were trying to convey We met every day – “Annihilation” was the nearest He came to explain What was coming up In the dark recesses That bewilderment Remained to the end It tore him down As if wolves were Coming after him All the way up the hill Balscadden final stop “Dear Jesus, thanks for small insight Into what went on with Poor Man”

John O’Malley

SHOPPING BAG POEM Think you have a business driving Miss Daisy – parked outside the Pavilions Swords you know – first stop Donaghmede To collect the keys from Thelma to get The old girl’s purse –I wrap up for a snooze Almost clipped from the inside – last serious Shopping – back on the M 1 no great panic To grab a bottle of water at Tesco Extra – A new store invites June – Home Something Or other – Mary has the lunch ready no more Lunches served in Donore Village Pub – back On the motorway to Clare Hall Tesco – Kay’s Kitchen serve beautiful coffee-must be nearly Closing time but hardly for the Giant Tesco Here we are safe and sound for the Results A couple of days to debate how much fits In two carry on bags – the girls skype As the frost eases off – more thawing sunshine

Invisible Mending

SIDE ALTARS The secular priests when we were altar boys Came into say Mass in the alcove altars We got well tipped from the men on retreat Maybe taking in their game of golf Walking on the beech – recreation An important part of the break Some took a supply break in the U.K. Or on the Continent – that way brushing up On a language – many of these men taught In schools or seminaries – the religious Had so many outlets for chaps with degrees A numbers game kept laity in their place

John O’Malley

SOMETHING COMES UP With so much free travel – Stations great places to sit – Your coffee cup and favourite Well thumbed book, announcements Blur, when you do turn up we had time To catch the direct – I hesitated then ran The lad had the green flag – no cursing The next one non-stop – we are allowed On even though the cleaners not done. My sister shows me see the swans at night: Such majesty worth coming for – especially As the they sleep on, in the morning sun Shadowed by cathedrals and castles They bring wonderful moments of peace – A river is nothing without onlookers. We take the coach home instead The harvest almost all in – meet The daughter –contacts hold good Paddy and I, two more Premium Tickets With a carvery thrown in – will Mayo Finally come good – neutrals hold Their breath always fearful Of the Kingdom in a semi-final Hope it won’t be too one sided

Invisible Mending

SOUTHEND ROUTINE Connor’s alarm the signal Hush if Cha not moving Stay as thou art – doze off. Last morning different Plans laid to light candles For Christian especially. We grazed before we departed Harry in the café minded our feathers Gave the little lad bacon, mushrooms Juice for the umpteenth time – He earned the blessing at Nazareth House Wondering at the wheelchairs I explained to Chrissie what kids Do for their mothers – not the will of God The weather was gorgeous – such fresh Air up where ye live – for the retired Just like me always feeling good Just look at Taghd thriving – Great that Conor has the teaching Practice – it is creative – we discussed So much including Bounty Hunting Our lads understand the Media Your man making another key note Speech after visiting Moneygall Fighting talk from a politician Must be an election in the States Sadly our hopes are pinned for years On recovery in our children’s time Much good to be done with the small Talent each one has to dispose of now

John O’Malley

SYMPATHICO Had glorious plans get up Get out do the walk – and so on But you learn from training Pacing comes into it – a method Of catching yourself on – what suits One man, one couple not a fit For anyone else – take any given day Have something special to do – or better Someone nice to meet – but above all else Follow your own dream – when you find Her never let her go – give her All your attention and complete admiration

Invisible Mending

TALES OF DEVILMENT Lacking the skill to sort it out Neglect plays a huge part. Idleness, lack of work, chronic Unemployment leading to addiction. On occasions it’s not about money Or the lack of it-just badness – involvement With children – in laws get dragged in – He is in the love nest-she unwell Trying to manage the children For some reason – leaves them With no money – no food in the house Her brother makes a call – woman Phones the husband says she is leaving The children without anything in the fridge Husband arrives with the shopping – brother Calls back to check all has been sorted Decides on one last strategy goes To their local hostelry within earshot Of all customers in the public house Everyone informed of situation Family never left without maintenance Money ever again – neglectful husband Learns his lesson – duty to his offspring In place – requires no further reminders

John O’Malley

THE DRUMMER First came across Fr Joe Drumgoole Larger than life almost Elizabethan – So intense about the Eucharist Those sacred words meant more Than his Life Hoc est – my Body. He believed – you knew his being Trembled at the Consecration – Rich and poor flocked for forgiveness Simple understanding – suicides Amongst the millionaires turned to Joe – Booked up for weddings until his stroke At seventy eight – we had an understanding He rang me every Sunday to check Kilbronx That the far gate locked for security Was opened to his growl-loved Cheltenham only stopped going When the throat cancer stopped Big journeys-always the top coat Winter and Summer one of the good guys Loved a jar – how he would have loved The Blue revival in the Hurling He knows up in the great field Where all good games play out How good the cats and Tipp are

Invisible Mending

THE AUTHOR’S FRIEND Of a bank holiday morning Breakfast delivered-tablets Swallowed – papers glanced at Cordial greetings exchanged The desk calls – all the advice On the web has me retching. Just do the first line-as it should be – Off on your own – pedestrian attempts To do the domestic better – could The brown bin be skipped ahead Yes it can and is emptied – avoiding Storing smelly food for weeks Sometimes initiative pays off Thank yourself for being Your father’s son – years after His training words in your ear

John O’Malley

THE INTERNAL DIALOGUE The Jesuits take these Matters Very seriously – why wouldn’t they Giving retreats or a Mission As a way of passing on The Love of Jesus Their Companion and Friend I must admit I can do the Words But find it difficult to leave My friends the Prophets A bit like myself they found They never got going But had to keep at it Draw beautiful pictures To fructify the imagination As a child would search – A Bible full of Black & White images

Invisible Mending

THE MIRROR AND THE LAMP I promised my eldest daughter A poem of explanation by way Of an image a metaphor – For a light going out – Life is very beautiful Even in a shaded backyard Listening to a hurling match Reflecting age old rivalry. Peaceful to have little chat – Knowing you are very well Both of us share that recovery From operations-lots of light Under the theatre lamps – your dad simply flattered: resemblances in appearances, that determination to celebrate a mother’s birthday – Any excuse ought to do

John O’Malley

THIRTY YEARS ON Keep dreaming it’s your birthday Your birth after my visit to Lourdes 1981 the year the Pope was shot sunny spring day in Rome May 13th a Northern Ireland woman heard the shot it was a Browning nine mm. Parabellum The would be assassin was a 23 year old Turk, Mehmet Ali Agca – Why did he do it? The Pope was way down his list – probably Funded by the K.G.B. – other people he preferred Would have been women – his Religion forbade Killing females-the Pope forgave the man pronto. Two bullets struck his abdomen – two others Glanced off his body saving his life – slumping Into the arms of Monsignor Stanislaw Dziwisz We were in Birmingham – June carrying you – Must be guilt my going to Lourdes so close to your birth – these recurring dreams… the Pope recovered slowly to perform his duties He was Beatified yesterday by his successor You are my pride and joy –Happy Early Birthday

Invisible Mending

TIME STANDING STILL Because this was part of my stomping ground St Benedict’s Park: a copse of trees, a few wet seats After a light shower of rain Leaving Cert. results out Girls strutting their stuff, talk of Tamango’s, younger Adoring female admirers-probably the fake tan The inevitable reminder of a Cross with young man’s Bare details – how much he is missed – when the Month’s Mind Preparations do begin – realisation dawns No matter how ill prepared the community the Faith gathering holds them together Most themselves in self giving love No matter how great the ordeal Or how often the ritual is repeated The words keep a special meaning Just turn up and try to sing along

John O’Malley

TO HAVE BEEN A CHILD Is to remember a man called Daddy Needless to say bigger than you Mostly you see a man – black hair Swept back, good man, bad man Smell of whiskey, notion of fear Reward and punishment, handsome Earning his notice – a group of us Rarely time for special relationships Even his own were coloured Between friends and cousins Colourful characters with gifts For delivering tea or altar wine We seemed to be always going Or coming into the beautiful Countryside – uncles and aunts Falling in and out over something Trivial – mostly we were good as gold. The sea was forty miles away Lahinch, Ballybunion, Kilkee Rows over the goods and chattels Brought our own churn for water Sometimes the Auntie the nun Home from Gosfort or Sunderland It was not like a picnic with Jesuits Nor were we being prepared as scouts We learnt to somehow stick together After all he had a title – Vice Consular When George or Paddy were away Daddy boarded the ship if they needed A signature or more likely a sailor in trouble The Round House then was a Wholesale Wine and Sprit Merchant’s Store All fully bonded whiskey and imported wine 77

Invisible Mending

UP AGAINST IT Sky on the ground Mothers with their worries – At our age always someone Needing prayer for a procedure – Mammy losing her mittens – Being down at this stage. Someone please jolly her along Carers on their break Looking at life in the raw Taking those sad calls This is where the dull thud Is eased with prayer mantras

John O’Malley

WHAT IRISH EMIGRANTS MISS MOST First up said absolutely nothing No not the Tayto – the mixed grill Not the father and mother – never go away Ui mai koe ki ahau ha aha tem ea nui o tea o Maku e ki atu he tangata,he tangata, he tangata Translation from Maori – Ask me what is the greatest thing in the world I will reply; it is people, it is people, it is people Irish people in all their crazy Irishness – ah will ye stop The sense of humour – crazy bastards – running into friends They never stop writing – am I away – not the weather The terrible road signs – popping home to say hello The county team – the hats and colours – the results They are coming here – see just enough of them Ah well it’s Christmas – see ye soon boys and girls

Invisible Mending

WORTH DOING The rain forecast never came The house silent-just the two of us Sounds inside an echo of winds Banging outside-the mighty fir Pulling upside the garden I daren’t look in the back We are in a way in siege mould All conversations revolve around the woman of the house to really learn her story just this day her namesake died Ellen’s details in the papers. We can fantasise if mother Had not met my Dad Would she too have perished In a warship hospital-hardly The years don’t add up… The thirties and forties come alive Always the old photos, cuttings Abound-more male than female Sadly looking down at the caked Sores on her head, who could not Sigh and talk of nothing else Task is to ease her last days Take all the silence Alongside the speech

John O’Malley

DON’T BE AFRAID Ever to be yourself as long as You are aware originality Drives folks crackers Or you become a role model Unintentionally – who would Want to be slavishly copied In an age when the old tried & trusted ways are ignored or buried in the past – drag Out some master scribbler For half an hour – consider The benefit once published You might (ha ha) keep a reputation In tact by not boring the socks Off everyone morning, noon Especially yourself at night

Invisible Mending

YOU GET YOUR CHANCE Blue tits, robins linger Lovingly outside her window A few gorgeous flowers On that last day almost Everyone that knew her â&#x20AC;&#x201C; To visit, part of her fabric Old stock approved, confused Desperately asking what will I do? Breathe easily, learn to let go We said our non verbal good byes Knowing wherever she was off to Had to be a beautiful place and space

John O’Malley

WHAT KIND OF OLD PERSON Do I look like becoming On the positive side I won’t be crotchety Siblings get together Mostly for a row Principles widening the gaps Alfred Adler says the middle Children have it all – first Last – indecisive or cruel – Change – we can become Our wildest dreams – 19 Grandchildren turn up Unbidden – the rearing’s Done – not a terrible bad job Look forward to no complaints Forgetting hurts imagined or real Not looking, like Yeats our greatest Poet, for rejuvenating pills

Invisible Mending

THE CORPSE HOUSE Finding words that come easy The Light of the World shining Down on Griffin’s Funeral Home My Grand Father God Father John Accustomed to leave his horses Above in Gerald Griffin Street For three hours they stood in the rain Johnsgate paying their respects Mammy looked great laid out We stood shoulder to shoulder Meeting and greeting – tailor’s dummies Had our own quiet time – before the public

Éadromaigh ár dorchadas

i 84

L A P W I N G PUB L I C A T I O N S

JOHN O’MALLEY

Invisible Mending: reflections of days done and days to come animate the heart and mind of the author. There is a sense of communion between man and woman, man and man, woman and woman in these poems that transcend time, distance and difference. Our tragedies are always common and public but the loss is always rare and private. The sometimes joyful release of others from pain intensifies our personal grief and the imperative to go on. And on we must, life and living are not theoretical and death inflicts its own solitary confinement on the bereaved. John O’Malley has an idiosyncracy of style which verges on the rebellious if not outright iconoclastic way with poetry. Yet no mental rewrites are required to pick up the threads of his own personal Invisible Mending.

The Lapwing is a bird, in Irish lore - so it has been written indicative of hope. Printed by Kestrel Print Hand-bound at the Winepress, Ireland

ISBN 978-1-907276-97-2 £10.00