Landscape #1 content guide:
Ruthless In a World Of Fantasy 27 “poems” I made with the Cut Up technique. I don’t like writing poems. You’ll also find me chained to some really old cross full of spiderwebs and laying in tombs at one of my favorite cemeteries. I really like cemeteries.
Interviews This time Maggie Dunlap, Aime Simone (Paul Nouvet/Ghost, I), Nico Wussy, SLAEGT and Mark Breed are the chosen ones. We talked about magic, finding balance, inspiration, cyberspace and much more. You’ll find a (fictional) personal text before and after the interviews. Enjoy!
Teenage Lightning Sometimes when it comes to -creating- something, our minds decide to form endless lists of experiences, characters and feelings to inspire us. We all have that something or someone up there at the top of our mental list. I find my first (only and last) visit to the already extinct Brooklyn Bazaar to be a great font of inspiration.
1 "Things have rather changed, wouldn't you say?" He gave me a big smile "There was no reason to come into the city at night. There was nothing to do." No theater or nightlife It is almost impossible to imagine now The air of a place whose moment has come You were drawn to for pleasure Across a half mile of diamond-bright water From one side of the city to the other "So what happened?" "THAT" Something that had to be crossed In a glow of self generated confidence I believe I would have given you a small smile and urged you to step up the medication Between and behind these two A cheerful fellow smiled at my concern "WE discovered THAT" Every object on the landscape--every house, jetty, jutting headland, and leafy green island--fits comfortably, looks exactly right.
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Detached from worldly things I examined bones Interacted with ancient cultures No desire to explore Now I'm all alone Where would you like to go today? Perhaps to the shrine In fever-ridden tropics Of altar wine.
A spoiled brat at heart He may be kind or cruel, caring or cold, thoughtful or stupid But I was absolutely nuts about him So no matter who wins, he can't lose My heartache lingers in silver rings Still there, still part of the real me I feel overwhelmed Increasingly vulnerable Chained, at his mercy Desperate to rise above the inner suffering And for love.
3 Wherever they find themselves, they are masters Built to kill, they are assassins Fold the victim into submission Unique on fucking techniques, unlikely lovers Fully ritual, sexual gymnastics The making of this dance could last for hours A sting locks and subdues my natural agression, through the ancient ropes of passion.
5 She is emerging from the glow Of bedtime stories Ordering chaos Her rings are formed by three almost perfectly aligned, perfectly spaced stars that are among the most luminous anywhere in the milky way An enormous pulsating red star 20 times as massive as our sun Can be seen on her chest By the end of our celestial tour A semicircle of stars extends out from her left arm, to one corner of her bedroom The stars have brought him back She catches him and laughts, and the cares of the world For a while, are lifted from her heart. 6 With amazing speed I can get you flights, hotel rooms, rent-a-cars Champagne tossed against orders, and a famous Devil Dancer, masquerading as a bull It lends an air of quiet enchantment To be my color coded fool. 7 Nature will step in to correct a sudden imbalance Now use the sharp eye Most of our beauty, past this initial impression Is below several levels.
8 Speculation was rife Now I'm disenchanted And I've shrunk him dramatically But as I glided nearer and his true size became apparent To my distress, he outgrew his cage Frustrating as this was I had carelessly let him slip As if nothing had happened.
9 You can't have everything But none of that bothers me here And this air is great. 10 Long after the sun has set, and darkness envelopes the city When surprised, he often chooses fight over fly His fangs rest against this warm blood prey Ready to pop up like switchblades for the strike He pierces deeply into my mind And walks me into his mouth. 11 This supernatural wind that blows from the realm of spirits May one day fuel my expansion into your place Mapping the surface of your skin, seeking clues to it's interior structure Making one of the most violent processes in the universe. 12 What it is that is left hidden in the shadows intrigues, multiplies and heightens sensations because we're not comforted by the certainty of revelation.
13 One friend casually visiting another Or is there more to this relationship Than meets the eye? You been here before several times But never before have you been so acutely aware of those hungry, unnatural looks Are you now becoming concerned for your safety? Why are you here? Or, are you afraid to answer your true feelings? 14 Between the inner and outer world The attraction, the happiness It was simply a very subjective reaction And it just happened I don't think of what I do My mouth watered These are swifter, noisier waters Darkness and light, the measureless sphere of the earth Two distant realities on an unfamiliar plane.
15 Once infused with the dragon spirit, I will perform a ritualistic dance Gradually exploding into an unbridled fury As I retire, my performance is followed by muted whispering Back into the world of the living I wear my dragon mask Made formidable by the sincere belief in the power of this craft.
16 The tension is like a fingernail which scratches the flesh repeatedly, until the most hidden nerve is uncovered. 17 Love requires intriguing and varied choreographs Audacious scenarios and everlasting new scripts Freeing your body from the past, from expectations and disbeliefs In order to attain the shivers and trembling on the open stage. 18 Masters of ecstacy Falling into a trance like state Chemical love letters advertising how I feel His voice was soft And the melody repetitive Like an ancient ballad In a hidden world of spirits rabid fascination and resilience A wish fulfilled. 19 There's no longer place for filth, hellishness and disgust All you want is a calm state of mind There's a special person that softnens your heart, just by being near you He enters you, and your consciousness departs The sizzle of liquid meeting fire.
20 When heavy rain comes To alter the course of rivers My own mental map has the quality of thunder. 21 I am very troubled Already low in the sky I see ghosts Hiding behind the sun My arms wouldn't hold me Like ghosts at nightfall.
22 I often vanish In sunny-cloudy-windy-rainy days Slipping into the past As if it was a sanctuary It's a good life but a hard one I'm also patient The stars there's nothing like them And that defeaning quite Is bigger than men. 23 Dancing angels Wheel over, descend, and begin again Where no color survives Symbolized by the daily passage of the sun.
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Suddenly the mood changes Observing the light and shadow The doorway to a temple The holiest of holies You get the feeling of being somewhere sacred, and you are Bones are unscathed Arranged in geometric harmony I feel the enormity of life Related to their cosmology.
Another heaven Another earth The darkness within the tenting of wings Exotic worlds that have lured me ever since Where I lay exposed Glare and reflections A better view of my prey One reward of time spent lying prone at the edge.
25 He opens up with a chained wolf pet and a rifle Wedding cakes, white starlike flowers Now our honeymoon suite is located at a nearby castle.
27 Reconnecting in daytime requires night work.
The Company of Wolves When I was ten years old I had my first encounter with Lobo, a giant dog that looked like a wolf, while I was in my bedroom staring out the window, looking at my backyard. I remember it so vividly as if it was a recent event, but I know that it happened nearly thirteen years ago. Lobo appeared in the middle of a sunny summer afternoon. I was feeling so stressed that day, I had the urge to run back home after school/ballet. Overworked, soon to be dancing at a very important theater with the rest of my team, practicing day and night nonstop, and basically having no time to relax. I didn't even have time to daydream about being a normal kid with no responsibilities. I felt so exhausted after practice that once I got home, I had no other option than to lay in bed without even taking my clothes or shoes off. I layed there for a few minutes half asleep, still wearing my pink laces, ribbons and tight fitting clothing. But I got up because it was incredibly hot. Then I had the idea of swimming at the tiny swimmingpool in my backyard and drinking lemonade. I’m allergic to sunlight. "Is the sun still up?" I thought, while I was getting closer and closer to the window to check if it was safe to go out. I pulled back the white silk curtains full of delicate details and I found Lobo, a giant wolf-like dog that didn't seem to blink, whose look followed me at all times. He was so tall, filthy and old, had black hair, blue shimmering eyes, pointy ears and big fangs. An ancient silver chain adorned his neck. You could tell he was old by the greyness on his face. His presence was eerie, but it fascinated me. I wasn't scared at all. In fact, I was willing to get closer to him. I wondered how he got back there. I swear we were so close, as close as we could get, even though Lobo was outside and I was inside my room. I was down on my knees hearing and feeling his breathing, willing to retain him long enough to call my mom and ask for help. I was already thinking about the possibility of adopting him. We went outside and searched for Lobo in every single corner of our backyard, but he was already gone. "Maybe he got scared? maybe he’s hiding behind our plants and lilac flowers. What about that pile of tree branches?”…we searched and searched but nothing happened, he was gone. My mom said that Lobo wasn’t real. She blamed the amount of stress I was dealing with, then said that it was a lucid dream, then asked me to be quiet and just forget it. But I knew I wasn’t dreaming.
The bed was entirely made of animal bones of all kinds, ranges and species, all cleaned up and bound together by invisible sewing threads. There were moments where I did see symbols and sigils painted in black on the walls, right behind the bed I was laying in. And these symbols were glowing trying to catch my attention. It reminded me of Austin Osman Spare. Lobo was there right beside me. He looked nervous and was very protective of me, as if there was something evil around us. But I believe there was something else trying to protect us as well, because the floor had burnt, black torn clothes here and there that marked a circle we were right in the middle of. There was a brown dark wooden medieval door infront of me. There was music coming from behind it. It was ritualistic, wild, unholy, and I couldn't help but feel enchanted and attracted to it. The last thing I saw was myself from another perspective trying to get closer to that door. Even when I woke up I could still listen to the music.
I saw Lobo once again like two or three years ago and it felt incredibly nice. But this time I was dreaming. I'm always having surrealistic and cryptic dreams rich in images and information that sticks with me. I've got a "dream diary" where I keep record of my most interesting dreams. I felt inspired by something that John Balance once said while being interviewed for a TV show called "The Sound of Progress". There he talked about doing the same thing, so in that way he could get to know a little bit more about his persona on a subconscious level. I started mine after having this one particular dream where I was inside a super big room. The ceiling was so distant and high that I never got to see it, all there was up there was an endless black void. The walls remained white and shining for most of the time.
I think it's cool to write about my dreams. I read my diary whenever I need inspiration or just because it's fun to do. I've got a handful of unrealistic scenarios such as being at the back of a gypsy carriage kissing Gibby Haynes, one of my top impossible crushes for life, probably getting married while paying attention to fairy rings that seemed to pop up all around us. It's an unique record that no one else has, full of stories and characters that I always end up transforming into something else.
I don't know what Lobo was or meant the first time I saw him at home, I wouldn't know how to explain that. It haunts me til this day but in a good way. I'm obsessed with the contrast and mix of different things provided by that magical situation. I was wearing a golden necklace with a heart shaped locket, and Lobo was adorned with filthy silver chains. I hate feeling dirty, but I remember having my long socks full of dirt and dust from being on my knees and not caring about that. I even got on four legs on the mud to search around some rotten tree branches, killed and walked over maggots without
noticing it and had them all glued under my pointe shoes with their own remains. It was all sticky and juicy. And I did all of that in order to find him. I'm obsessed with the idea of mixing things that don't belong together.
Animals that don’t use their teeth will lose them I can easily picture Maggie being your favorite horror movie protagonist. Have you seen Phenomena by Dario Argento? I did...but I'm not really sure if I liked it or not. But I liked the idea of being able to communicate with insects. I can easily picture a movie where Maggie is able to communicate with rabid dogs and wolves. But not only that, we would also see her stabbing people from time to time with her engraved knives. Now let's add a few bloodstained nightgowns and more guns. We're almost there. And everything would be directed by Jean Rollin. That's it, we have it. She's one of my favorite visual artists from nowadays. If you're into true crime, criminalistics and serial killers you should definitely check her work because it is full of it. And her drawings are excellent!
LF: I came across your work thanks to Nicole Dollanganger, how did you girls meet? MD: We met on tumblr many years ago. We mutually admired each other’s work, and have been close friends ever since.
LF: I've never seen you trying to explain yourself, trying to convince others of who you're or caring that much about what others think, you just let your work do the talking. It's a rare thing to see since we're all surrounded by social media creatures trying to be "correct" or getting others to like them, what do you think about this? Is there any hope for these poor souls?
this, and for me, being in a cathedral, or the woods in the middle of nowhere, also does this. I like having these moments by myself and with others and also keeping them private.
MD: Oh thank you, this is a great compliment. I think it’s easy, especially on social media platforms, to want to explain all that you do or say for fear of being misunderstood. I personally do not worry about misunderstandings. If someone does not read me or my work generously, or approaches what I do in bad-faith, then they aren’t the people I want to engage with anyway.
LF: Where does your inspiration come from? and I don't mean movies/music/books, what is it from this life that moves you?
LF: For as far as I know you're into metal, are there any bands from nowadays that I should be listening to? MD: I think most of the metal I listen to are older bands that aren’t currently active, but some contemporary bands I like are NAILS, hochstedder, gatecreeper, power trip, crowbar, entombed, mammoth grinder, and I guess I can list RAMMSTEIN too since they are making a comeback. There are loads more but that’s my current rotation.
LF: I perceive a strong sense of power and toughness in your being, are you into any kind of magic? How do you find balance in this world? MD: I am not really into magic, but thank you for the compliment. I’m into therapy.
LF: Shall we finish this interview by describing our king Peter Steele in just one word? May his ghost appear in your room tonight. MD: FATHER. MD: I don’t really know how to answer this. The images and texts I absorb are what most inspires my art, but there are experiences that fulfill and inspire me as a person and in turn, probably make me a better artist. I’m thinking mainly of experiences that remind you that life is vast and expansive, that remove the blinders from your eyes. Travel can do
no meaning. And he also talked about how fucked up it was to finish his studies at a catholic school. Christian Woman I've felt attracted to churches, crucifixes and angels all my life. I blame Jean Rollin, Type o Negative, all of the ghost stories I've heard from an early age, cemeteries I've been to, abandoned places and houses with no lighting but full of huge saint statues, and old horror movies. My beliefs and thoughts on religion are still so fuzzy, mainly because there's not a single one I can totally feel part of. And I don't think there will be one someday. I enjoy learning and reading about different religions, rituals, ancient magicians and so on, but there's not a single person or thing I can totally relate to. I think the closest I could get to that feeling is having a mix of different beliefs. Making things on my own, in automatic. But to be honest, the idea of following or worshipping someone/something else that isn't my own desire to do whatever I feel like doing, makes me sick in a way I can't even begin to describe. It is a waste of time. Let alone cults or the mere presence of so called shamans. I wish I could mute them forever. People should always do their own thing without being contaminated by others or limiting themselves for fear of not being accepted. Always. Truth and power are two things we could only get by paying attention to ourselves. Everything else is a distraction. I've always been intrigued by the occult. I like crystal balls and tarot cards, I've got these things adorning my shrine. I like the sense of power that I perceive from these objects. Not because I want to practice divination or even believe in it, I just see these things as part of my decoration. I couldn't care less about the future. In fact, I wish I had the ability to stay present all the time, was a little bit more conscious about my surroundings, and had track of the passing of time. Something that is not explicitly portrayed as sacred could be it. Scott Walker's voice is something sacred. Porcelain, animals, sunlight, forests. Anything could be sacred if we wish to appreciate it in that way. You don't need to read that in a book to then form an oppinion or belief about it. On the other hand there's people who have taken religious and so called sacred items that are worldwide known as such, and then used it as they pleased. They changed the meaning behind these items, played with their own personal images, and as a result made things more exciting. And once again I'll name Type o Negative, but I'll also add Nicole Dollanganger and Richey Edwards to the list. What is it that you expect from a song called Christian Woman, and what is it that you get from hearing it or watching it's video? What is it that you expect from Nicole whenever you see her? and what is it that you get from her lyrics? What is it that you think of Richey whenever you see him wearing a crucifix? I remember him talking about how he used to percieve Jesus as an icon, and as result decided to wear that because for him, it was just an empty symbol with
Damien Echols is known as one of the West Memphis Three, a group of teens accused of killing three kids in the middle of a "satanic ritual" in 1994. He says that the only thing that helped him to get through death row was magick, and I respect that. I like him. I even enjoy listening to him nowadays, his voice is soothing and he's very well spoken, so passionate. I also believe he's a very strong person, and feel incredibly sorry for what he had been through. I can't imagine what it is like to be in jail for something you clearly didn't do. Not a single physical proof linked him to the crime but he was convicted anyway. There's something about Damien that makes him so different, outstanding from the rest.
Whatever it is that you believe in, whatever your beliefs may be, please (I beg you) do not depend on it. Don't turn it into a replacement of whatever it is that you're lacking. If you want to manifest something don't you dare to just sit down and wait for it to magically happen. Isn't it obvious? take action on the real plane, or you'll get stuck. All channels open at all times. Don't ask for it or it'll be denied.
But I don't know exactly what it is. I'm not talking about the things that ended up putting him on the spotlight as a teen, his preferences, favorite music, novels, the way he dressed or talking about being Wiccan. I think there's something else. Damien knows so much about everything related to magic, he followed a variety of “paths� before sticking to whatever he believes in today. I've seen him talking about Dion Fortune as someone whose practice is very similar to his. Change is good.
Key To My Door Halloween reminds me of The Wytches, and The Wytches reminds me of Mark. His creations are so related to these themes. And I'm not talking just about the music itself or music videos he produces, but also about his clothing line called Hoodbats. If there's one thing I adore about all of the artists I've been following for years...is that they have the ability to do vastly different things, they don't focus on just one thing. And Mark is one of them. Another thing that I love about him is his sense of humor and the out of context videos he uploads to the Hoodbats youtube channel from time to time. And right before doing this little interview I watched "Damien Finds a Band" like 3 times in a row.
LF: There's one thing I've always wanted to do since I know you know a lot about horror movies and that is asking you for recommendations, which are your favourite ones? the ones that you still consider to be a great source of inspiration. MB: To be honest, the horrors that inspire me the most are probably just the classics like the Exorcist, Friday 13th, Amityville horror etc. There’s something about the oldies that new horror films just can’t touch.
LF: I believe that real facts and the darkness surrounding one's mind will always win over any fantasy film or story, in other words I can only get truly shocked by reading about real crimes. Who are the serial killers that come to your mind while reading this?
MB: For me, there’s nothing quite as disturbing as the Jeffrey Dahmer story. The fact he almost made an altar in his house for all of the victims skulls he had killed. Thrown in with torture and cannibalism, I honestly can’t think of a more evil and sadistic individual. I guess John Wayne Gacy is a close second because he targeted young children.
LF: I recently saw that you have a band with Kristian Bell, what can you tell me about this project? and what are your future plans musically speaking? MB: Yeah, Kristian and I have always had a side project going on but this is the first time we’ve released an album on cd and vinyl. We actually have a few new songs recorded for a second album so I think we will resume that and hopefully have something out by the end of this year. Either way, we have one new track that will be released soon with our second music video since shortly after.
LF: Have you ever experienced any paranormal activity? MB: I've experienced strange unexplained noises but no paranormal encounters.
LF: It was 2012 when I first heard about The Wytches, then one day I found out about your illustrations/drawings...and around 2013/2014 Hoodbats came to my knowledge, it seems like you never run out of inspiration. What is it that keeps you inspired? MB: I do get stuck quite often, I can’t say I consistently put out quality work but then again I’m kinda known for my loose/DIY/laid back style. Which does give me a bit of room to do whatever I feel might be right. I’ve never really thought to deeply about my work because it’s supposed to be fun and lighthearted.
Scorpion Time I'm such a perfectionist. I don't know if that's a positive or a negative quality, I think it depends on the situation. But generally I put a lot of pressure on myself. Is it so necessary to end up doing that? absolutely not. A lot of nice things come from hard working and putting a lot of energy into them, but I also end up being so stressed. I've felt that way countless times, desperately looking for a way to calm down. Doing exercise, keeping myself active and getting rid of all the energy that seems to burn my insides with fury, seems to help. I truly enjoy self inducing that kind of physical pain. The feeling of waking up hurting the next day is also a way to stop myself from doing too much. You can't do much when your body is still recovering. But what happens when I'm laying in bed, recovering from tiny internal injuries, and I still feel the urge to chill? well, there's another totally different kind of thing that seems to help me. And that is being all by myself in my secret dungeon/castle/bedroom/artificial grotto, lighting candles, staring at how they burn and maybe practicing positive thinking. Or not thinking at all. I love writing, meditating, streching out, listening to Ambient/Ethereal Wave/Field Recordings or Sound Collage. Candles change the whole atmosphere of the place. I also use them with other people to smooth our moods while drinking wine, celebrating, or simply having dinner.
White, black, green and violet are the colors I use. I follow no rules or specific rites, it's all automatic. It feels wrong to follow someone else's do and don'ts if what I'm trying to achieve is so personal. Why would you need help from something exterior when it's all so made from the core of yourself?. Whatever appeals to me is the correct thing. We should all chain ourselves to ourselves and nothing else. It’s all related to my desire to domain (at least my own persona), something I have to live/deal with.
For example, thinking "today I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do it at all costs" and doing it successfully, obligating myself to do so, that's a clear example of domination. The simple action of writing is another example of domination, because I choose my words and whatever I want to say. Teaching (I'm in the process of becoming a teacher!) is a pure act of domain. Now let's focus on another subject that requires controlling and domaining, like SubMistresses relationships. Even though I'm not going to talk about basic BDSM stereotypes, practices or even the physical part of it, the most boring thing on earth.
No offense if you enjoy any of these, but the whole mental part of it is more exciting, even if it's way more complex. What about the effects that someone can have over you just by talking? even from a distance. Isn't it so fascinating to see the reactions? are you aware of the amount of feelings you're able to produce on someone else? you don't even need to raise your voice or talk mean. Words are powertools. And psychological ways of torture can be as effective as physical ones. No physical contact required.
What happened to ones that choose to be submissive? I do not understand why someone would want to be controlled by a second party, told what to do, treated like crap. It's pathetic. What do they enjoy apart from that? how are their day to day lives like?... I believe I have a Sub-Mistress relationship with myself.
Vision Will Action Can open all doors I've been paying attention to Oskar Frederiksen, Slægt's vocalist and guitarist, for the past few years. Why? why not. He's passionate as fuck about his work, and this might be weird to say without knowing him personally or that much, but I've always felt such positive energy from him. Something that I confirmed when we talked about the idea of doing this interview. He seems to be very committed to his work with Slægt, a Heavy/Black Metal band from Denmark featuring Anders M. Jørgensen, Anders Edalis and Olle Bergholza, all very gifted guys. I've always felt intrigued by what I saw happening on stage while they were playing. If I go a little bit back in time, the use of blood seemed to be important. A bloody phase that is not longer part of who they're, sorry for the spoiler. But change is good, and I think we already know that. I recommend every single one of their works. They're incredibly talented and I mean it. My personal favorite is their last album called The Wheel from 2018. Pure magic, something that hopefully you'll feel too.
LF: I've been listening to Slægt since 2015/2016! it's been a long way and it seems like it's only getting better for all of you, is there any particular special/favourite memory you would like to share? S: Recording “Domus Mysterium” had a really special vibe to it - none of us had tried to record a whole album in a “real” studio at that point and the energy around the whole thing was special. Every idea we had, everything we tried out, it all fell into place in a magical way. I feel the same way about the sessions for “The Wheel”, but the sessions for “Domus…” were the first, and maybe that makes them feel a bit more special. I would also like to highlight the tour we did with Maggot Heart/Venenum in October last year (2018). Those days were magical for various reasons, exhausting, uplifting and all those good, important things. Those memories will live on forever. LF: About the candles burning (and blood!) that I've seen in pictures and live footage: is there anything you believe in? what are your thoughts on magic and spiritualism? or is it just to add something else to the already powerfull atmosphere that your music gives?
S: Yes check these out if you don’t already know them (off the top of my head): TAPHOS and PHRENELITH: Death metal from Copenhagen. MAGGOT HEART: Dark rock’n’roll/post-punk from Berlin. FUNERAL FUTURE: Fast and at times melodic techno from Copenhagen. MDOU MOCTAR: Weird, strange dessert blues/folk from Niger.
S: I believe in energy and I believe, that you can channel and use the different forms of energy as you please if you know how to do it. We have gone away from using blood since so many other bands use it on stage and we would like to separate us from them and do our own thing. We still use candles and incense as much as we can though. It is to create a special room, that is different from the ones we move and navigate in, in our daily lives. It is to make our minds enter a different zone, so we can channel the energies needed for the performance to be how it should. If the audience also gets something from it - that’s only good! But we primarily have those things on stage for our own sake, to enter those special and other states of mind I described. LF: You guys are one of my top favourite bands from nowadays, is there any other new band I should be listening to? I'm thirsty for recommendations, and I trust your musical taste. LF: I remember getting into Angel Witch after seeing Oskar talking about them, what other bands following that old school metal line could you list/name? the ones that you consider to be a must when it comes to filling your everyday life with inspiration, and the ones who pushed you to form a band. S: Slægt is basically a weird amalgam of classic heavy metal and black metal if you look at it very roughly. We are of course also inspired by tons of other stuff, but those two shine through most of our songs, for some reason. Oh wow, where to start with classic bands…?! I have my top 3 from the NWOBHM and Angel Witch is one of them. The other two are SATAN and DIAMOND HEAD. Absolutely classic and essential stuff. Apart from that - Mercyful Fate/King Diamond (of course!). Some of the best stuff out there ever!
LF: What is it from this life that moves you and inspires you? it could be something negative or positive, something that makes you want to get into your own inner world. Killing Loneliness Feeling anxious about the future is one of the worst things I've ever had to deal with. It's a vicious circle that turned me into a non functional person. I couldn't progress with any of my projects, keep myself active with basic activities, study, concentrate, focus on what really mattered or be present for others. I couldn't even leave my house thanks to goofy and irrational thoughts. I had fear, lot's of. I used to spend the majority of my time thinking about what I would have liked to be doing instead of just imagining it. I couldn't materialize anything or take action on the real plane. I used to ignore everything that I actually had, and everything was locked inside my head. Thinking about all the places I would like to visit. I wanted to be far away from where I actually was. I skipped important steps without even moving, lost perception of time and my surroundigs. Whoever was with me at that time, didn't exist for me, I couldn't tell if they were real or not. I couldn't recognize others as humans, and if they tried talking to me, I couldn't understand what they were trying to tell me. S: That is hard to pinpoint since it can come out of the blue or be more pre-meditated. Some times it comes when you least expect it and some times you can feel the inspiration slowly sneaking up on you. But being alive is basically the main inspiration - all the good and all the bad: Feeling trapped in your own body, knowing that there is more than what you can sense, fleeting moments of joy, ecstasy and despair. It all adds to the experience and the need to express how you feel and what you have seen, heard, read, touched and tasted gives you tools to express such emotions or sentiments. Thanks for the questions!
If everything was ok, I couldn't recognize it as such. And felt anxious everytime I had to go somewhere, thinking about the possibility of being inside my precious home. I wanted to be safe. If you think that not having any ideas or feeling inspired is a problem, that's because you haven't felt heavily inspired all of a sudden, with too many ideas at the same time, in a permanent manic state. Manic episodes that I couldn't tell whenever they started or ended. I had so many ideas that sometimes it was extremely complicated for me to even retain them, save it on my pc, they would just come and go like crazy. I had to run after them before they turned into nothing, like everything else. What happened to the ones I was able to retain? well, it's all out there available for you to see, all finished and manifested. How did I accomplish that? by simply chilling and understanding that I couldn't instantly have everything I wanted, that I had to work for it to make it real. If this state that I'm talking about extends for too long, you'll most likely lose everything and everyone that surrounds you. Relationships, family, health, it will all come to an end and you'll be left with nothing but your fantasies.
Those fantasies that so easily own your life and control you. Your daydreams take an almost human form, they hug you, they're there for you, make promises, seduce you, they feed from your weaknesses, and they stay up there in the same pedestal that you so carefully constructed for them. And the worst part is that they don't even recognize you as a human being. In their eyes you're most likely to be a machine that distills attention to them, you’re something that has no feelings. They're so charming, they look so genuine and cool, and you believe every single word that they tell you. And you defend them at all costs. But deep inside you know that they don't really care about you, or the things you do for them. Luckily everything is temporal. I'm over with this, and it's been a really long time since I last felt a glimpse of what it is like to be manipulated. I found the cure on my own. No one is able to help you, that's one fact I've learn about personal problems. It's a little obvious, isn't it? you have to do your part. You can obviously listen to others, but you have to take action on your own, whenever you feel ready. Oh, and the cure was simply paying attention to everything I actually had. Lot's of
love from my family and friends, lot's of real things that were actually given to me, things I could see, and prove to be real. All positive things, support, tangible affection. Now, if you have so many expectations about the future...you're probably going to have the same amount of expectations about people too, at some point. It's all connected. What is it that you have to do in this situation? Well, once again you have to focus on what's actually being given to you. Not just sweet words or promises, because all of that could be said just to retain you. They don't want to lose whatever you're giving to them, so they'll try to make you feel special in some way. In my case, I was dealing with really narcissistic people that would treat others just in the same way, just to obtain attention or feedback on whatever shitty project they were working on. It is so common for them to treat people like this, and not acknowledging that there's a real person on the other side of the screen. It's not just some kind of robot telling you how they feel about you, how much they care about you, it's a goddam real person. Pay attention to what they're actually doing, not only what they talk to you about. We need real actions and connections.
We all reign over our own realms, not somebody else's. Whatever meant something to you once, can be turned into nothing if you wish so. Monsters can be shrunk easily. You can step on them, kick them, destroy them, make them bleed, leave them unrecognizable to the point that no forensic result could really tell whatever happened to their faces. All you have to do is stop listening to them. Stop. It's all fake. Do you know when is it that a person turns into someone special? it happens when you choose to look at them in that way, and that doesn't mean they're actually that.
I am looking for adventurers and you seem correct to me Would you like to be my queen tonight? Is it okay to idolize someone to the point of blindness and not acknowledging their flaws? nope, it's not okay, get a life immediately. Not a single person on earth is perfect, but that's the whole point. Is it okay to support people on a healthy way, to let them know that someone out there truly enjoyed whatever they published/composed/manifested into the real plane? yes, that's the correct thing to do. It's even better when we talk about small artists. We're all equally insignificant. But there're things that differs us from one another, right? such as details, the way we express ourselves, the way we dress, the way we write novels with topics like watching porn involving girls with anorexia, and finally, when we decide to call ourselves vampires. Maybe all the uglyness in this world is there for a reason, and we eventually consume this pile of trash. Like a raccoon devours melted rotten food, I devour whatever Nico puts out there. And it feels like watching a terrible snuff film while drunk. We're all equally disgusting, and so is he. A lovely and unique writer, musician, and vintage t shirt collector.
LF: Where does the whole Nico Wussy character come from? what is it that inspires you? and I'm not talking about bands, movies, or books. What is it from this life that moves you? NW: I don't know where he comes from, but I know where he's going. At least in a near future. Being conscious about the fact that we're all going to die someday, that this life has a way too premature expiring date, and that you only get to live it once, is what keeps me motivated/energic, always looking forward to learn about new subjects, and producing a great amount of things. The most possible amount of things. Because we only get to exist/be here for such a little amount of time, so it's my will to be as loud as I can possible be. LF: Magical and wild are two adjectives I would use to describe you. There's something really intense about your being. What's your relationship with the esoteric side of life?
NW: There were certain given times in my life when I believed in a little bit of this and that, and times when I just had to quit getting into that kind of stuff because it got too spooky to handle. I believe that we're all constantly making magic, on a conscious and subconscious level. The problem with this is that there's people out there practicing it without knowing what they're actually doing, or even knowing that they're doing it at all. And then there're others who think they know what they want to achieve, without realizing that the price you've to pay to obtain it, is way too expensive.
NW: Not everything that irradiates light is actually something positive, and darkness is not necessary something malicious or negative. There's plenty of shitty people predicting Love & Light through their works, and obviously doing the opposite in real life/their day to day lives. On the other hand we have people that express themselves in really dangerous, nasty ways. But they're actually sweet in their intimacy.
This kind of "battle" between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is something I've always been interested in, and that's what I tried to represent by writing Espiral. I also blame the highly politically incorrect sense of humor of Troma, films directed by Lloyd Kaufman, like Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV, Chris Barnes lyrics, and the repression and frustration that I suffered from while being at school. LF: I love your style, the rings you wear and your vintage t shirts. What is it that got you into buying these things?
NW: I'm interested in how people look, at a superficial level. I think it's important to look stylish and confident. When it comes to meeting new people, you've got only one chance to introduce yourself, and it's not by showing off knowledge or the right use of words, but with the way you look. It's all about that, plus the way you stand before them, and stare back at them.
LF: I believe you're a very enlightened person, but there are certain things about you that are not so "correct". There is contrast, and I like that. Your first novel called Espiral is a bloody tale I enjoyed, even though I could have easily felt disgusted by it. What is it that made you want to follow this path?
There's no correct way to dress or anything like that, but whatever it is that you're wearing, you have to own it with pride. Whatever you choose to show externally says a lot about your insides. But if you choose to doll yourself up with mass producers offerings/whatever you can easily find at your average nearby clothing stores, I'm afraid you're weak as fuck.
Vintage clothing has it's stories, it carries energy with in. My fascination started when I was a teen, since I would constantly wear my mother's/grandma's damaged clothes. Full of holes and stains, with that distinctive "old" smell, instead of selling my soul to the satanic mass producers that I mentioned earlier. But I got into vintage t shirts around 2014 when I moved to the UK. One day, while I was searching on eBay for something that had nothing to do with t shirts, I found an original Vivienne Westwood t shirt from the 70's. I didn't know why the price was so high, so I searched for more information about designer clothing like Gucci, Chanel, Armani and Moschino.
Nature & Organisation I would be lying if I said that just by "acknowledging whatever surrounds me/feeling thankful", my mind totally clears up. That would be a terrible lie. There're other things that help me whenever I get lost inside my own head, and one of them is nature. Being outside at parks and botanical gardens helps me a lot. Nature affects me in such a positive way, like nothing else does. It’s something pure.
All of a sudden I remembered having an old Metallica t shirt that was gifted to me when I was a kid. The past owner told me that he bought it the USA around 1992. I searched it on eBay, and there it was. I've always loved jewelry but I never got to put my hands on the correct kind of jewelry, until The Great Frog came into my life. LF: How do you find balance? and what is it that helps you to reign over your own realm? NW: Being aligned with the system is simply what helps me to produce, be committed, and finish whatever I start. I live in a constant state of "jet lag", frustrated, tired, consumed by capitalism, with little to no time for myself at all, working from 9am to 6pm. So I better take advantage of my free time.
Learning about different animals and insects is another thing that helps me. I've read so many books, watched documentaries, visited museums, took notes, and learned so much from what is like for them to survive. While taking notes from various documentaries, I noticed that scientific vocabulary has so many beautiful words and ways to explain different processes. The Cut Up technique came right after that, because I started mixing those lines and eventually found out that there was a name for what I was doing. The Cut Up number 3 out of the 27, is actually taken from a variety of lines said on a documentary about scorpions, explaining the way in which they reproduce. I also learned that they glow in the dark in a beautiful green tone. Now I'm thinking about doing some Sound Collage. Ruthless.
I go beyond my limit and challenge my fear To be reborn, first you have to destroy everything you already are. You have to step into the darkness and be consumed by it. Aime Simone/Paul Nouvet knows exactly what it is like to feel this way, and he did this several times in different situations. He's not longer representing Saint Laurent in any way, nor he's playing with Pete Doherty, or works under the name Ghost, I. I think he has a clearer idea of who he is, but I'm sure that progress and changes are still going to be part of his career, and everything will be incredibly positive. Aime managed to exploit his potential, and it shows. An ethereal musician from Paris that now lives in Berlin, looking forward to affect you in any way with his experimental pop songs. By the time we did this interview he was still working under the name of Ghost, I, and I think a few things changed since then. For example, he's now following people on instagram! and more songs like In This Dark Time and What's Up With The World? have been published. Change is good.
LF: Who's Ghost, I? and who is Paul? AS: They are not separate from each other. Ghost, I is an amplification of my personality and fears transcended. Ghost, I is also the meeting point between myself and any other human being, this is the way I channel the emotions and stories that everyone experiences. LF: I think it's important to protect yourself from useless information, empty messages and social media creatures trying to tell others what to do. I remember seeing you explain on Instagram why you decided to unfollow everyone and I couldn't agree more, was anyone offended by this? what advice would you give to the ones that keep consuming daily doses of distractions?
AS: For me it was not just about avoiding distractions, it was about bringing awareness to my artistic input. I realised that the information one gets while scrolling through Instagram is one-dimensional and repetitive, and the time spent on it could be spent reading a book, watching a movie, or talking to a friend, if not working on music. Some people did get offended and unfollowed me (many actually), but I don’t blame them, because these persons are not there for just distraction or some artistic input, they are there for personal validation, which is not why I use Instagram. I understand them though, but I get and give validation from/to my friends or loved ones face-to-face. I need this human contact. I use instagram as a door to my work and a mail box. My advice, about distractions, would be to first identify them and how much time you spend with it. If you don’t manage to refocus yourself on your purpose, then try to see where you can bring some variety in what distracts you. I don’t mean you need a purpose necessarily, but once you cancel those distractions I guess one will naturally rise out of boredom and self-reflection. LF: I'm sensitive to others energy...but being so sensitive can also be a good thing when it comes to paying attention to the right people. I find the energy in you and your work to be a really powerfull and genuine one. You must also be a sensitive person, how do you find safety and balance in this world? how do you protect yourself from others energy? I mean, in real life.
LF: if your goal is to heal others congratulations, your enchanted and magical melodies did an effect on me, what do you think about magic and spiritualism? AS: I tend to be a spiritual person and I like to immerse myself in the world of magic and mystery to escape the hyperreality and cyber intelligence where we can’t escape information, where we can find an answer to anything in a matter of seconds. I like not to know, to imagine, and welcome the unexpected. LF: I find Ghost, I to be an ethereal person whose inner light is there to everyone to see and whose dark and sensual side is also there, like woods from a fairy tale with bright and vivid nature but also with spots where light never hits. I want you to describe some ethereal place where Ghost, I would live. AS: I would be humming a haunting melody in a castle made of crystals that reflects the light of the red sky and black sun in every direction, surrounded by tangled elven forests and sparkling lakes of clear water inhabited by nymphs and dragons.
AS: Thanks. I am a diagnosed hypersensitive person and it gets overwhelming oftentimes if I don’t bring some distance and recenter myself. The challenge is to see what is fake and what is real, rationally, because when you are hypersensitive anything is impactful, everything affects you equally and intensely. Music is a good refuge. I use Ghost, I to create a strong energy field, with love, which only those who are real and in tune with me can breach. Energies that don’t match mine don’t get close enough to affect me in this space.
Despite that, I enjoyed paying attention to how the place was structured, and the different outfits I would see people wearing. It's main stairs were full of mirrors, it was so glittery. And I've seen a lot of leather and chains. It felt like being surrounded by Scorpio Rising actors.
Hank Wood and The Hammerheads was my main reason to be there. But the line up was pure gold with bands like La Misma, Impalers, Subversive Rite and Una Bèstia Incontrolable. I only knew about La Misma and Impalers, but I enjoyed all of them. I felt completely hypnotized by Chris Ulsh's presence. It was surreal to see him at the front of the band, since I was so used to the image of him being at the background, playing drums in Power Trip. He differs so much from the persona you see in interviews or described in articles. So energic.
I went to a candy store earlier today to buy marshmallows and cotton candy, and one of the employees told me I looked like a soft vampire. Then, he proceed to ask me why I was carrying a parasol with me, and finally got a little worried when he realized how pale and sick I looked. Truth is, I've been feeling nervous all day, plus the weather is so hot. I was melting and feeling nauseous at the same time. I had a terrible time trying to accept that I needed to overcome my fear of visiting unknown/new places. And I had zero time to do so, since I had to go to a gig this very night. But it was too much work for me to try to explain to him that I was allergic to sunlight, and that I was feeling anxious about the fact that I was soon to be at an unknown new location. Instead, I told him I was a real vampire, and he asked me to leave. So I did it, but I forgot to pay. Now I have lot's of candy, free candy. Today I had my first anxiety attack in the middle of my first hardcore/punk show, which sounds horrible and cool at the same time. I've never felt so confused. I've never felt such penetrating pain on my chest, nor did I know what was it like to feel like you're running out of breath. I started feeling bad as soon as I arrived, because obviously I didn't know anyone or what was the place like. But the only thing that motivated me, and helped me to remain quite/stay there, was the idea of finally seeing my favorite garage punk band from nowadays.
I noticed that someone in the crowd was playing with a bubble gun, shooting bubbles everywhere, when all of a sudden I started seeing bubbles popping around Chris. That was so freaking cute. And I liked the contrast between something so fragile and his act. All of my concerns were gone, or I least I couldn't think about them. I couldn't think about anything else that wasn't what was happening on stage, or related to Chris in some way. I started thinking about the amount of bands he has, and all of the instruments he plays. He's so talented. I love Mammoth Grinder, Power Trip, Impalers, and I love him. I couldn't stop smiling. But that didn't last for long. As soon as Impalers finished their set, I started feeling bad once again, and had to run to the bathroom to check myself in the mirror. The act of staring at myself in the multiple mirrors that the venue had, gave me the feeling of being conscious about my surroundings, or being present. I was combing my hair near/next to the right side of the stage, when I started noticing something. All of a sudden, the people that surrounded me looked very familiar. I started recognizing people I knew from social media, and they were really close to me.
anything I could relate to. I didn't feel motivated enough to go out and meet new people, or even go to the gigs I was offered to assist by my friends. Margaret told me something that really stuck with me. She told me that if there was something I felt like it was missing, I should be the one to bring it out. And here's the thing, I know I should have felt thankful with the mere act of being listened by her or getting suggestions about what to do next. But in that moment, I felt terrible. I was so angry with myself, I felt insignificant. Because if you don't express yourself in some way, whenever it is making music, taking photographs, shooting videos and so on, how could you offer to others something to get to know you a little bit more? And obviously, you're way more interesting when you're passionate about doing something. It must be glorious to have projects to display, something you've made and it's entirely yours. And I had nothing to offer.
I felt insecure and stupid because I wasn't doing anything with my life that didn’t involve being a good student, getting good marks or being a great ballet dancer. I didn't have any musical project myself, or even had any idea of what I would like to create. I didn't even know they lived in NY. They were everywhere I looked. I'm talking about people I knew mainly from Sacred Bones Records. I couldn't name all of them by their personal names, but I was really fond of what they did/played. Margaret Chardiet, also known as Pharmakon, was the only one I had the courage to talk to. Which was heavily difficult for me, because of how shy I was. But I coudln't get pass on that opportunity since I love her work, and admire her a lot. I missed the chance to attend her gig in 2016 here in Buenos Aires, since I didn't have anyone to go with. But now I had the opportunity to at least meet her and tell her how I felt about what she does. She seemed surprised about the fact that I was from Argentina, and told me that I probably had "good taste" for being there tonight. I talked about how boring my local scene was, full of indie bands and kids doing the exact same thing that all of their friends are doing. The scene was a pile of trash repeating itself endlessly. Nobody was doing
As we finished talking, I went back to the nearest mirror and stared at how the lights went from violet to red, from red to blue, and from blue to green. I could see through the reflection that there was a really tall guy, all dressed in black, that would pass by behind me at full speed from time to time, really fast, coming and going from one side of the venue to the other. I couldn't tell if he was real, or if he was a ghost. As I turned around, I followed the "ghost" from where I was, staring from the distance, and realized this person was in fact very real. He was Logan Montana, Hank Wood's guitarist, and he was already on stage. The rest of the band followed him, and Henry, it's singer, was the last one to appear.
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I wanted to be at the front row, so close, as close as I could get to them. So I rushed to the left side of the stage, and stayed there for the entire set. Even when the idea of being hit by people moshing or crowd surfing was a possibility, I knew I wanted to stay there. I felt hypnotized once again. Under a spell, I had no choice. Adrenalin was at it's peak. I knew they were no ghosts, but what about demons? a mix between demons and humans. Fast, loud, powerful creatures that played everything from Go Home and Stay Home, and a few songs from their back then upcoming S/T album, which is already published now, and is probably my favorite one from them. I remember standing there thinking over and over again about the word "violent" and all it's variants. I wanted to get the right words to describe the show, this new world I felt was opening up for me, and the mix of feelings I didn't know I was able to feel.
Now, why do I consider this gig to be so special? from that night on, I started to get more involved with what NY had to offer. And as a result, I ended up having a whole new way to appreciate everything. It helped me to keep an open mind, to be more interested on listening to a whole new bunch of records and genres. And I've to say that til this day I'm still fascinated. It was a turning point, because I finally found things I could relate to. I found out about artists like Sam Ryser, Somer Stampley, Ben Charles Trogdon, Jane Pain, Soren Roi and so many more. I found out about zines thanks to Ben. This zine is just a way for me to connect with people I admire, from all over the world, and to collect a few of the things I enjoy doing, all in one place. But it wouldn't exist if it wasn't for that gig.
Things I didn't know were possible for me to think of. I felt alive. And I felt that it was worthy to overcome my nonsense irrational thoughts, panicking, and fears. It was worthy to go out and be there that night. While My House was playing, I turned around and stared at a gorgeous blonde girl. I asked her if she was ok since there were people moshing next to us, and one of them hit her on the back of her head, like really bad. She was all dressed in leather, and had a very particular tattoo. A whole round of barbed wire adorned her livid neck. I wondered what would it be like to get such big tattoo, what would it be like to wrap myself in real barbed wire, and what her name was.
I no longer deal with any of the problems mentioned on these pages, nor I have problems of any kind. I've got so many projects, I've met so many cool people from my own city, and from other parts of the world. I've grown up a lot as a person. But it was cool to write it all down somewhere, at least to remind me why I'm like this. Or as a way to let it go. Now all I've got to do is keep on being persistent. This is my first time opening up or even speaking in a public way, since I couldn’t care less about doing it on social media, or any platform. Or doing it at all. I don’t take anything seriously. Narel.
Credits Ruthless in a World of Fantasy Poems, collages, illustrations and design by @nrr.esxz Pics by Wailo @waipic, art direction and style by both of us. Interviews Collages, illustrations, design and questions by Narel @nrr.esxz Teenage Lightning Collages, design, text and pics by Narel @nrr.esxz Pics by Zoila @imagesdufutur Thanks to Nicolas @elviruseslapalabra for helping me to put all this together. Landscape Fanzine #1 January 2020. Commissions: Email: narelrising@hotmail.com IG: @nrr.esxz