LGBT FAMILIES
When I was growing up, everywhere you looked there were mums and dads with two kids and a dog. My family were “pretend”
Liz’s story I’m never sure what people expect me to say
traditional moral values are being taught that
smaller affair, but they were surrounded by those
a family with two mums.
She later introduced Section 28, which banned
Civil Partners there was a great “Whoop!” in the
when they ask me what it was like growing up in I was born in Birmingham in the mid 1980s.
My parents divorced when I was two because my mum came out as gay. She bought a house at the opposite end of our street so my brother and I
moved house on a weekly basis for the majority of our childhood.
Some people may think this was hard for
us, and sometimes it was a pain to have to pack up your things when all you wanted to do was
test out the new Mario game for my Gameboy, but through a kids eyes all you saw was two
bedrooms, two Christmas stockings! You also got loving parents in abundance.
Looking back, it was exceptionally brave of
my mother to come out when she did, and for
they have an inalienable right to be gay.”
local government bodies from promoting or publishing material that “promoted homosexuality.” This included schools
“promoting the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.”
This meant that my teachers were cautious
“issues” with my family. And some friends were not allowed to come over to my house to play,
although my parents always protected me from this kind of attitude as a child.
It meant that no books in the school library
Looking back now, I can’t understand why we
offer same-sex couples the same legal status as still face here in Northern Ireland today.
Luckily my mums live in England, so last
Christmas, after over 20 years together, they
quietly slipped off to the registry office (again),
handed in their Civil Partnership certificate, and left with a marriage certificate.
On this occasion there wasn’t a big party; it
was just the two of them. And after years seeing
kids and a dog. My family were “pretend.”
had the piece of paper to prove it. I can’t describe
In 1996, my mums had a Commitment
Ceremony. All their friends and family were
In 1987, the year my mum came out, the
with confetti, cake, dancing and a whole lot
said, “Children who need to be taught to respect
Or did they?
television!) represented my family. Everywhere
Ireland and Scotland was a new thing. There
Conservative Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher
relationship recognised by law.
heterosexual couples. This is a position that we
kids, rather than the kids themselves who had
you looked there were mums and dads with two
was growing hysteria around the AIDS crisis.
many years together, my mums finally had their
Unsurprisingly, it was the parents of some of the
out as gay quite often lost custody of their kids of gay sex for men aged over 21 in Northern
totally overwhelmed with emotion. After so
settled for Civil Partnerships when they fail to
encountered at school because of our parents.
or programmes on children’s television (or any
purely because they were gay. Decriminalisation
room and we all cheered. I remember feeling
of addressing any problems my brother or I
my father to support her as much as he did. This was the eighties. Back then, mothers who came
they loved, and as the registrar pronounced them
invited to celebrate and we had a brilliant day of love. But the ceremony gave my mums no legal status or protection, and in the eyes of
the law they were
not recognised as a
couple. This meant
that if anything were to happen to my
mum, my other mum had no legal rights over my brother
each other as fully wedded partners, they finally to you what it is like to see your parent’s brand
new marriage certificate for the first time when you are 30 years old.
If there was anything detrimental in my
childhood it was the anti-gay laws and attitudes that failed to see or accept that gay families like mine existed, not the families themselves, and
definitely not being raised by two mums. These
laws have taken the UK and Ireland decades to
overcome, but now – thankfully – we have legal protection for our LGBT communities and
their families as well as equal civil marriage in England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland.
My brother is straight and can marry his
and I.
girlfriend, but I can’t marry mine. So come on
years to the day of
I’ve got a woman I love and I want to wed!
In 2006, ten
their Commitment Ceremony, my
mums had a Civil
Partnership. It was a
GNI MAG | 86
Northern Ireland, get a move on and catch up -
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