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Photography banned on the Bluff indefinitely The Bluff: disappearing from an instagram feed near you very soon. Erik VonSosen
Doesn’t Believe in Cameras
If you were to ask LMU students what their favorite location to take photos on campus is, you would be met with a variety of answers: in front of the chapel, the first floor of St. Rob’s, maybe even the Lair salad bar. However, the vast majority of students would agree that the Bluff is LMU’s prime location for every student’s inner photographer. On Sunday, Feb. 30, LMU announced that photography would be banned campus-wide along the Bluff, effective immediately. The ban applies to all students, faculty and visitors on campus grounds. Department of Public Safety officers will be stationed along the Bluff 24 hours a day, with extra security during golden hour. A safety team will also conduct surveillance online, patrolling Instagram and Snapchat stories to report students who may have snuck in a photo or two at the Bluff. Large signs were also posted overnight warning students of the restrictions of the ban, including possible fines. If a student is found snapping a quick story of the Bluff, they will be met with an automatic withdrawal of $50 from their meal plan and a 24-hour WiFi ban. The only websites accessible during this
Photo: Annie Kapila | Loyolan
Pesky students take the last photo ever documented on the Bluff. They were arrested shortly after and detained in Public Safety. They have declined to comment, but they want you to like their photo.
ban are Brightspace, MyLMU, and Cool Math Games (For Kids). A university representative Aghatha Tronchbulle II explained the reasoning behind the spontaneous ban: “In partnership with Google, we want to reduce the amount of clutter and repetition that plagues our students’ stories and encourage them to take pictures of the other sights on campus.” Following the announcement, some students were distraught by the sudden news. Freshman Remus Smith expressed his ample disappointment at the new campus-wide rule. “What am I supposed to send to my Snapchat streaks? A photo of myself?” He has since created the Instagram account @FreeTheBluff, and is organizing a mass letter writing campaign titled: “#Make the Bluff Great Again.” Other students have taken the news better, and have discovered new locations to snap photos. Sophomore Myrtle Thompson has taken on a variety of new subjects for her Instagram stories around campus: “There are so many amazing locations here that students are missing out on! The University Hall architecture, the steps at Lawton Plaza — I even did a photo series on a family of rats I found in St. Rob’s!” Although the Bluff is no longer a hotspot for the photographically inclined, students can relax knowing they’ll never have to see a sunset photo captioned, “I can’t believe I go to school here <3” on their feeds again.
Local bro disappointed by Christmas light lack of effect Lights on. Garbage out. Bed unmade. Mood set. Daniel Silvera Didn’t get a byline last time
A normally pretty easy-going guy, member of Delta Pretzel Epsilon Chad Bradley recently told reporters he was “big-time pissed” that his Christmas lights weren’t helping his dorm decor as much as he thought they would. “I thought it would be all cute and stuff,” he said, giving the reporters a tour of what one might call a total pig sty, “but it really didn’t help as much as it was supposed to.” When asked about the heap of garbage occupying a large part of the floor and the potato chips crushed into the mottled gray carpeting, Bradley’s only comment was “I high-key expected you to say ‘Wow, it’s so cozy in here! Not that.” Bluff reporters at the site noted a distinct musty smell of unwashed gym clothing emanating from the unwashed gym clothing strewn about the room.
“When he invited me back to his place and told me about the remote he uses to adjustthe lights, I thought, ‘Finally, a boy with interior decorating skills’ – but I was gravely mistaken,” remarked a young woman Bradley was interested in romantically, who has chosen to remain anonymous. “When I arrived, I for real thought he had taken me to some kind of a post-modern art exhibit full of empty boxes of breakfast cereal and spent e-cigarette pods.” Bradley will be taking legal action against the manufacturers of the lights, remarking that he had spent upwards of $400 on lights to make his room a “chill zone to like vibe or whatever,” but did not realize it wouldn’t fix the absolute primordial chaos of the rest of the room. “I thought I’d be getting all the chicks to be all like ‘Ugh, I just want to curl up in here on a rainy day with a good book’ – but the lights didn’t help disguise my lifestyle, habits or personality at all.”
Cartoon: Joey Capestany | Loyolan
With a roll of tape and some money spent at Joanne Fabrics, a string of Christmas lights can turn your dump of a room into a social hot spot. It’s still a dump, but now the trash is well lit.
The Bluff is a humorous and satirical section published in the Loyolan. All quotes attributed to real figures are completely fabricated; persons otherwise mentioned are completely fictional.