"Kuta Weekly-Edition 395 "Balis Premier Weekly Newspaper" by Kuta Weekly

FR E

KUTA WEEKLY E

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

Volume 7, Issue 395

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Barbarians at the Gate Presidential Candidate Prabowo Claims Bali is Example of Foreigners Siphoning off National Wealth Prabowo Subianto sent mixed and worrisome signals to certain segments of Bali's tourism community, delivering a somewhat xenophobic message at a campaign rally held at Limintang Field in downtown Denpasar on Saturday, June 28, 2014. continue to page 2

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Kuta Weekly

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

Continued from page 1 Resounding an anti-foreigner theme that has formed a consistent part of his campaign platform, Prabowo told his audience that future leaders must be cautious and not allow the profit of Indonesia's tourism sector to be siphoned off by foreign countries. Q u o t e d i n Beritabali.com, Prabowo said: “If we are not careful, our wealth will not be enjoyed by our own people. Bali is an example. Big Tourists come here. We must question and be careful. Don't let the profit they (the tourists) bring be taken away by others who are not of our nation.” Prabowo called for vigilance because he proclaims

a desire to safeguard national wealth for all the Indonesian people. “This is our battle; the duty we embrace. We have a strategy of continuing the mandate of SBY. That which is missing we will add. That which is good we, we say is good,” explained Prabowo. Prabowo says Indonesia

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Kuta Weekly

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

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is at a crossroad. Standing before t h o u s a n d s o f supporters, Prabowo expressed his appreciation for Indonesia's current president Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono. “At the close of his leadership, we must give thanks for SBY who has brought Indonesia to its current state,” he said. Prabowo admitted that managing and leading Indonesia is not an easy task. He also admitted that Indonesia is now the fourth largest nation in the world. Continuing, he said: “Every year Indonesia adds five million people. We are acknowledged as the fifth richest nation in the world.". www.balidiscovery.com

Kuta Weekly

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

News Corner

Kuta Weekly

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

BALI THE RIGHT WAY Gday again folks and welcome to another run at the weekly. It was an exciting week just gone on the island with the annual kite season being in about full swing. It's a great thing to see the locals putting together all manner of kites, from the smallest ones that the neighborhood kids fly to the ones that you need a small truck to transport to a field and more than 10 men to manage. There is a certain noise that one can only describe as a zinging in the air, as the string or aliasj@kutaweekly.com line that attaches or tethers the kite to the handler, cuts threw the freshening breeze the island is famous for. I for one think this one of the best times to visit the island and I love it. This week also saw the start of the annual Ramadan month which is where the follower abstains from eating for the sunlight hours, except those who are suffering from an illness, travelling, pregnant or even breastfeeding. While fasting from dawn until sunset, Muslims refrain from consuming food, drinking liquids, smoking, and engaging in sexual relations. In some interpretations Muslims also refrain from other behavior which could be perceived as sinful such as swearing, engaging in disagreements, listening to music and procrastination. Food and drink is served daily, before sunrise and after sunset and generally at the end of each day the families and many friends will get together and enjoy a meal and celebrate the fasting season. I wish all our Muslim friends a great month and look forward to the start of the Idul Fitri celebrations. “ASSALAM MUALLAIKUM Wr Wb” Moving along this week I can safely say the conversation of the week at most bars or pubs or where more than one expat or travelers meet, is the exchange rate on the Aussie versus the Rupiah. I haven't seen it this high for many years and think the only time it's been higher was back in 1996 when there was a slight political issue which soon after righted itself and things went back to normal. We did have a big jump at the end of 2008 when the Aussie dollar got up on the Yankee but that eased itself as well. At time of writing this editorial, the exchange on the Aussie is at 11,590 which is damn great. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to work out it's a great time to jump in and invest on the island, and as many of us that are invested here know, the exchange rate can make all the difference. To explain it in easy to understand terms, you are getting upwards of at least 25% better for your dollar, making that holiday house or unit you've been wanting that much more reachable.

News Corner

Bali Kite Festival 2014 kites in Bali and the colors of the kites are all traditionally black, red, white, and gold/yellow which represent the incarnations of the Hindu deities. The kites are blessed before the event by G i a n t a temple priest. traditional kites, Kites are four meters in available for sale at width and almost many places in ten meters in Bali. length, are crafted Go fly a kite, a n d f l o w n the Kids will love it! competitively by If you're lucky deities for an abundant teams hailing from the villages enough to travel to your Bali crop and harvest, and truly is a of Denpasar. This event is a accommodation during this seasonal religious festival feast for all five senses. You will find many types of time make sure you don't miss sending a plea to the Hindu this festival!

The Bali Kite Festival is an international kite festival, held annually every July in the Padang Galak area of Sanur.

Get Inked @ Bali Ink

On the subject of exchange rates and call it good timing if you will, I ask you to direct your attention to page 43 where this week, you will see that the powers that be, have released presales packs on the new Suite's stage at “Kuta Town Houses” which I'm told will be the best class and style in the district yet. I'm told there will be plunge pools in the 3rd and 4th floor suites and that the size of each suite will be huge versus anything else you could buy in the area. With the rates being what they are you couldn't make a better decision than to buy a penthouse suite in the best managed apartments in Kuta. There are many places you could invest, but you only have to look at the bottom line to see which ones are giving you the most back and that's the one you want to jump in with. Ok folks that's about my lot for the week and I will leave you to roll along and do what you will for the week. I trust that the most of you stay safe, happy, healthy and always remember, Don't think of cost. Think of value. Enjoy Your Week, ALIASJ…………

Kuta Weekly

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Kuta Weekly

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Next Port-of-Call: Paradise

WEEKLY SPORTS PROGRAMMES Jl. Poppies I, Pasar Agung, Kuta, Bali Telp: (0361) 761464 website : www.kutatownhouses.com Round 15

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Crystal Cruise Plans a Calls on the Island of Bali in 2014-2015 Crystal Cruise has announced their cruise itineraries for Southeast Asia that include Bali as a port of call in the fall of 2014 and early winter 2015. With Bali Itineraries departing November 24, December 7, January 5 and January 17 - each new 12 to 14-day itinerary also calls in several other Indonesian ports while sailing between Bali and Singapore, and includes visits to Australia and Southeast Asia, depending on the cruise. Forming a part of Crystal

Symphony's Bali calls are traditional dances, lectures by Emmy award-winning Bali-based filmmaker Lawrence Blair and talented chef, restaurant owner and author of several cookbooks on Balinese cuisine Heinz von Holzen. Chef Heinz von Holzen who

r u n s t h e legendary Bumbu Bali Restaurant serving authentic Balinese cuisine will lead cooking classes and prepare a visiting chef's dinner and a limited –seating Vintage Room Dinner on the January 5, 2015 sailing. All voyages will also feature a rareshipboard presentation of the Balinese kecak dance performed by approximately 100 dancers. A full range of shore excursions include elephant treks, temple visits, visit to traditional textile centers and culinary excursions. www.balidiscovery.com

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Kuta Weekly

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3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

Kuta Weekly

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

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How I changed from Bali hater to Bali addict I was done. Considering the majority of sightseeing took place from the cold tiles of my villa's bathroom floor, I never wanted to again experience that level of sickness. It was a seafood dish from a street restaurant that got me and subsequently made for a miserable 10day holiday. I'll leave the typical Bali belly symptoms out of this story, but I'm sure you get the picture. So, when the offer of a four-day trip to Bali came up, my initial response was: “Wow, thank you, so kind, are you sure there's no one else who can go?” Turns out there was not. Also turns out this was a blessing in disguise. After agreeing to give the popular Indonesian island a second chance, I'm now a Bali convert. I've even booked a two-and-a-half week holiday there for later this year. What changed my mind? Myriad good experiences, done properly. Bali's infrastructure has improved considerably since I was there four years ago. For starters, arriving in the country is a new experience. A new terminal at Denpasar International Airport opened last year, doubling the number of passengers it can serve to 15 million, making for a pretty much seamless entry into the country. It also helps we're met by a representative from our hotel the new Double-Six Luxury Hotel Seminyak who whizzes us through Customs and Immigration. We're shown to our cars and then we're off on the 30-minute drive to our hotel. Along the way we catch glimpses of Bali's alluring diversity from large warehouse-style stores selling wood carvings, furniture and art to the obscure shrines tucked between homes and shop fronts, to the intermittent rice fields. Pulling up at Double-Six Luxury Hotel Seminyak, we instantly know the next few days will be a treat. The five-

star hotel officially opened in May, featuring 146 one- and twobedroom suites, eight penthouses, a deluxe spa and a number of uniquely themed restaurants and bars. The lobby to this place is really quite something. With giant pillars holding up a high ceiling leading to the inviting 120m-long lagoon swimming pool, you can't help but feel a little special. Australian restaurateur Robert Marchetti the man behind such top nosheries as Bondi's Icebergs Dining Room, North Bondi Italian Food and Giuseppe, Arnaldo & Sons at Crown Melbourne has been an instrumental player in the hotel's creative direction. He views his involvement in the hotel as a similar role to a director on a film set. “I wanted everyone to arrive in the lobby and feel like they've entered a party that everyone's invited to,” he says. “It's a production. It's feel, it's sensory, it's taste. The staff don't have interviews for their jobs, they audition for their roles.“ The cynic in me twitches a little at his extravagant words, but after Erikson, my personal butler, escorts me to my poolside leisure suite, with ocean views and fully stocked mini bar, Marchetti's words start to ring true. Love at first bite I had reservations understandably about eating outside of the hotel, but this changed after experiencing the deliciousness of local Indonesian cuisine at Warung Sulawesi, Seminyak, with no adverse tummy troubles. Hidden off a main road, we feel like we've walked into a little local secret. It's a great spot that's popular with the locals and expats alike. Just a few mouthfuls of the spice-infused dishes and the appeal is set in our tastebuds. While eating traditional Balinese food is great, having the chance to cook it from scratch is just as satisfying.

Sofitel Bali Nusa Dua, about a 40-minute drive from Seminyak, has just started offering traditional Balinese cooking classes. Walking into the hotel feels like walking into an elaborate Game of Thrones set. It's breathtaking and extravagant. As “trainee chefs”, our group of about 10 looks the part with bright white aprons and hats, and by the end we feel the part. After mincing seafood with an array of spices to make lemongrass satay lilit shredding chicken with chilli sauce and kaffir lime stuffing and roasting whole chickens in banana leaves; and, filling pandanus crepes with a deliciously sweet coconut mix, we're ready to eat. Aperitivo adulation Back at Double-Six, we head to the hotel's mezzanine-level restaurant Seminyak Italian Food for “Aperitivo hour”, which is on every Friday and Saturday from 5pm to 7pm. What follows is a delicious mix of Italian-inspired foods, from a menu led by Marchetti, complemented by unique cocktails conceptualised by drinks manager Jonathon Jack, another Aussie expat. Ready to rock After a big night of indulgence and dancing that led to the discovery of two very cool local nightclubs, Townhouse and La Favela, the next day it's to the Acqua Perla Spa at DoubleSix. For 2 ½ hours I'm scrubbed and rubbed back into existence during the Ready to Rock Ritual a specially crafted ritual to show “the fabulous you on that important day: birthday, honeymoon, anniversary, a special date night of dancing” or in my case, to nurture my hangover. Fitting with Marchetti's vision for the hotel, I pretty much feel like a rock star. It's amazing how a good experience can wipe away the bad memories.

Kuta Weekly

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3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

Kuta Weekly

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

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Our World Cup Runneth Over prison and a fine of Rp. 5 Bali, Four Season and At Least 12 Bali Hotels Facing billion. (US$416,000). Grand Mirage Club. Criminal Action for Unlicensed The hotels were given a Fredrick Billy said the hotels Broadcasts of World Cup strict time limit to obtain the failed to obtain permits from PT Football in the Public Areas PT Nonbar (Nonton Bareng = Watching Together) who holds exclusive Indonesian broadcast rights for re-broadcast of the World Cup has served cease and desist orders (somasi) on 12 starred hotels in Bali who they claim have illegally shown World Cup 2014 in their Bar and Restaurants. As reported by beritadewata.com, the legal representative of PT Nonbar, Fredrick Billy, said on Monday, June 23, 2014: “PT Nonbar as the holder of exclusive broadcast rights is issuing a somasi to 12 hotels from among 50 hotels restaurants because we believe they have illegally conducted commercial broadcasts of the World Cup 2014.” Among the 12 hotels cited by PT Nonbar are Hotel Radiant, The Bali Khama, Sofitel, Peninsula Beach, Princess Benoa, Kind Villa Bintang Resort, Grand Beach Nusa Dua, Grand Aston Sanur, Conrad

Nonbar as the coordinator of broadcast right for public showings of the World Cup PT Nonbar has conducted “sweeping operations” at a number of hotels in Bali featuring public showings of the World Cup

that had not paid for and obtained permits. As a result, PT Nonbar claims they suffered significant financial losses due to the illegal broadcasts. According to Billy, the offending hotels (and other still being verified by his company) violated Sections 49 and 72 of Law No. 19 of 2002 on copyrights and are subject to 7 years in

needed permit to avoid PT Nonbar pressing forward with the case. PT Nonbar reportedly owns license form PT International Sport Marketing (ISM) to coordinate public showings of the World Cup in Bali. While four Indonesian TV Cannels held the right for the TV broadcasts of the World Cup (TV One. ANTV, Qvition and Viva Sky), PT Nonbar holds right for coordinating public showings in hotels, restaurants and malls. The cost to obtain the right to show the World Cup in the public areas of hotels for a threestar hotel is Rp. 60 million (US$5,000), four-star hotel Rp. 80 million (US$6,600) and fivestar hotel Rp. 100 million (US$8,300). www.balidiscovery.com

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Kuta Weekly

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Kuta Town Houses New ROOF TOP Venue Featuring our “Infamous” Brazilian Aussie BBQ & Charcoal Spit Roast @ Kuta Town Houses

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Please Contact 087862442009 or email functions@Kutatownhouses.com 13

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Kuta Weekly

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

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Is the Party Over? B a l i H o t e l Occupancy's Lower Than Normal Radar Bali reports that while Bali enters the traditionally high season of June many properties are failing to reach 70% occupancy, with a number leading hotels now making bonus night offers in the effort to boost those figures. The lower than normal occupancy rates were confirmed the Secretary of the Denpasar Chapter of the Indonesian Hotel and Restaurant Association (PHRI-Denpasar), AA Ngurah Adhi Ardana, in statements to the press on Wednesday, June 25, 2014. Ardana said the poor occupancy levels extended to other areas beyond Bali's capital with many operators hoping that the coming fasting month and presidential elections will

provide at least a modest boost to business. The PHRI official blamed the poor occupancy rates on the flood of new rooms now on sale and the lack of promotion or special events that would help tackle up the excess room supply. H e a l s o bemoaned the change in the market place over the past decades. At one time, he said, tourist came to Bali to linger and visit cultural areas. Continuing, he said modern tourists visit Bali for much shorter periods and spend most of their time at entertainment centers than visitors of the recent past, while modern villa guests often spend their entire time in Bali at their villas. www.balidiscovery.com

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3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

State of Origin: Live coverage of Queensland Maroons squad announcement for game three COOPER Cronk has made a miraculous recovery from a broken arm and h a s b e e n selected in the Queensland team for the State of Origin III. Corey Parker will also make his return from a fractured eye socket to take his place in the team while Will Chambers has been called up to finally make his Origin debut on the wing in place of Brent Tate. Jacob Lillyman has earned a starting berth in the front row with Matt Scott to miss the game after suffering a facial fracture in Origin II. Daly Cherry-Evans moves back to the bench to make way for Cronk. Chris McQueen was not considered due to an ankle injury.

In a look to the future Michael Morgan who has been in scintillating form for the Cowboys has been included as 19th man. Cronk broke his arm in the opening minutes of Origin I and has not returned to the field since, but Meninga said he was ready to play. “He is fit and ready to go. He would have played for the Storm this weekend if available. We will not jeopardise his health.” Meninga said there were no excuses for losing Origin II in a

game he described as “fugly”. “It's about our pride, we have built up a fantastic strong cultre over the l a s t f e w years...and we want to play well in front of our home crowd.” “ W e haven't been played to our potential in (games) one and two...we've been beaten by a better side.” Team: Billy Slater, Darius Boyd, Greg Inglis, Justin Hodges, Will Chambers, Johnathan Thurston, Cooper Cronk, Jacob Lillyman, Cameron Smith, Nate Myles, Aidan Guerra, Sam Thaiday, Corey Parker. Reserves: Daly Cherry-Evans, Ben Te'o, Matt Gillett, Dave Taylor, Josh McGuire (18th man), Michael Morgan (19th man)

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3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

Sports Corner

Studs and Duds: Nigeria and Algeria push France and Germany all the way in World Cup round of 16 EUROPEAN heavyweights got the job done on Tuesday morning EST but not without a TEAM OF THE DAY Manuel Neuer (Germany) thorough and tense examination from Raphael Varane (France) Rafik Halliche Africa's final two representatives.

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Kuta Weekly Surf Chart

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(Algeria) Essa誰d Belkalem (Algeria) Kenneth Omeruo (Nigeria) Mathieu Valbuena (France) Paul Pogba (France) Sofiane Feghouli (Algeria) Andre Schurrle (Germany) Antoine Griezmann (France) Islam Slimani (Algeria)

STUDS Goalkeepers continued to star on day three of the knockout phase, with M'Bohli showing of his full range of qualities, while Manuel Neuer was at his commanding best. Without his intelligent, sharp sweeping - he was prepared to come well out of his box - Algeria's threat over the top would have been more lethal. It was a shame that Enyeama was at fault for Nigeria's goal because his shot stopping was of the highest order. There are a number of Algerians who can leave with their heads held high. The trio of Islam Slimani, Sofiane Feghouli and El Arbi Hillel So u d a n i p ro vi d e d re a l nuisance value for the North African outfit, while the entire defensive unit was immense, led by skipper Halliche and Belkalem. After a sluggish first-half, Germany were worth the win, with just too much star power in the line-up. Adding Schurrle's direct threat changed things well, while Phillip Lahm was hard to handle when he moved to right back, with Sami Khedira entering in midfield. The star of the day was France's Paul Pogba but Didier Deschamps, like Joachim Low, was able to change the game with influential substitutions. Antione Greizmann added a different threat to the ineffectual Olivier Giroud. DUDS Germany have worries at the back and France will have noticed how vulnerable Per Mertesacker and to a lesser extent, Jerome Boateng, looked at times. Nigeria will also have major gripes with the officiating in their match - denied a clear penalty for a grab on Peter Odemwingie, while Blaise Matuidi's studs up challenge on Ogenyi Onazi looked worthy of further reprimand.

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The stage is now set for a blockbuster France v Germany quarter-final on the weekend, but both sides needed late, late goals to progress past plucky rivals. In the end, it was a matter of France staying patient and positive. For 79 minutes Nigeria had resolutely kept them out, but cracks were starting to appear. Yohan Cabaye's long-range shot hit the bar and Karim Benzema's goalbound effort was cleared off the line - as France grew in confidence in the lead-up to their opening goal. Then Paul Pogba, who was easily the best player on the field, struck off a corner and the game was over. France were far from their best but had enough class to finish off the game with a flurry. The arrival of Antoine Griezmann off the bench on the hour mark to replace the ineffectual Olivier Giroud proved the masterstroke. The Real Sociedad striker terrorised a tiring defence and rejuvenated the likes of Karim Benzema, Mathieu Valbuena and Pogba. Victor Enyeama in the Nigeria goal was in an inspiring mood for most of the game but was at fault for Pogba's goal when he palmed it straight on to the midfielder's head. The goal liberated the French and they could have scored three or four more but had to make do with Joseph Yobo turning past his own goalkeeper. The Desert Foxes were highly unfancied but they pushed the Germans all the way in a spirited display full of workaholic defending and electric speed on the break. Joachim Low's side dominated possession - with some 465 more passes than their African rivals - but could not find a way past Ra誰s M'Bohli, between the sticks, who played behind an inspired back four. It might have been 0-0 after 90 minutes, but on another night, it could have 2-2 or 3-3 - it was enthralling action between two contrasting styles. Andre Schurrle's introduction gave Germany a greater penetrative threat in the second-half, and the Chelsea man broke the deadlock at the start of extra-time, with a delicate flick to guide home Thomas Muller's ball from the left. Muller had every opportunity to add to his Golden Boot campaign, but suffered a rare off night in front of goal, but was able to deliver the killer pass instead. Mesut Ozil and Abdelmoumene Djabou also scored in extra-time.

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We are HERE 19

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Kuta Weekly

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Kuta Weekly

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Sports Corner

Kuta Weekly

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

News Corner

Wimbledon 2014: As Nick Kyrgios faces Rafael Nadal, you can now officially forget you ever cared about Bernard Tomic THERE'S a great story from a couple of years back about 19-year-old Australian tennis prodigy Nick Kyrgios, who tomorrow faces Rafael Nadal in the fourth round at Wimbledon. Kyrgios was practising with Lleyton Hewitt at the Australian Open on a typically dry, scorching Melbourne summer day. He was desperate for a drink but Lleyton wouldn't “let” him have one. It's not that Hewitt expressly forbade Kyrgios to go for his drink bottle. It's that Hewitt wasn't stopping for a drink and Kyrgios didn't want to seem presumptuous, arrogant or weak by comparison. “It was a nightmare, I wanted a drink for 45 minutes but I was scared to initiate it,” he recalled this week. The moral of the story is simple: can you imagine Bernard Tomic ever behaving that way? Forget lapping a few drops of water, Tomic probably would have stopped for a lapdance halfway through the practice session. The arrival this week of Nick Kyrgios as a genuine tennis sensation is an event most tennis fans have long been waiting for. At last, we no longer have to pretend we like Bernard Tomic. Kyrgios, if you missed it, saved a record-equalling nine match points in his epic five-set upset of French star Richard Gasquet. In the final game, Kyrgios blew Gasquet away. Tomic would have just blown a gasket. To d a te , K yrg i o s h a s boomed more aces (76) than anyone else at this year's

Wimbledon. But he has shown a promising array of strokes to back up his power, showing frequent deft touches. The guy's got a subtle sense of humour too. Fourteen plus zero equals 14. Nice maths, Nick! The last couple of years have been tough for Aussie tennis fans as we've watched Bernard Tomic occasionally show his talent, but mostly abuse it, mock it, waste it. The day he lost the quickest ever ATP game in about

the time it takes to boil rice was just one of many low points. Yet still we've cheered for him, hoping against hope that it's surely just a matter of time until his infantile mind catches up with his oversized body. Hasn't happened yet and maybe it never will. Either way, it now scarcely matters because Nick Kyrgios is number one in our hearts. This likeable young Canberran has a lovely vibe about him. He's aggressive but controlled, a killer on the court and a puppy dog off it. You've got to be half a bastard to win tennis matches, but only half. It also helps if you're a decent, well-rounded human being. Just ask Andre Agassi and

Rafter, who all started their careers as angry young men, then started winning major trophies when they got their heads together. Tomic may do likewise. There's still time for him. But that's for him to worry about now, not us, because the hopes of most Australians are now officially pinned on the shoulders of Nick Kyrgios. “I'm just excited to be out there and have a chance to excite the crowd again,” Kyrgios said after beating Gasquet. Hear that? It's about us, not him, about what we feel not what he feels. “Australia's history of tennis goes a long way back, but Pat Cash mentoring you and and Lleyton giving advice, it's always good having those tennis legends helping you,” Kyrgios said in the same interview Get that, Bernie? The kid takes advice. Compare those quotes to an infamous interview Tomic did way back in 2007, aged just 14 when he said he wanted to have “the mind of Pete Sampras, the groundstrokes of Roger Federer and the heart of Lleyton Hewitt”. Bernard Tomic has always had big dreams and an even bigger ego. Now he's got the big ranking to go with it. He'll be somewhere above 100 after Wimbledon. As for Kyrgios, he'll be double digits. And number one with a bullet in the hearts of Aussie tennis fans regardless of how he does against Nadal. One thing we can bank on: this match won't be over by the first commercial break.

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THURSDAY Syd. Swans v Geelong @ 5.00pm FRIDAY St. Kilda v Collingwood @ 5.30pm SATURDAY Melbourne v Port Adelaide @ 11.30am B. Lions v Carlton @ 2.30pm Essendon v Richmond @ 5.30pm SUNDAY Adelaide v Gold Coast S. @ 1.00pm W. Bulldogs v Fremantle @ 2.30pm Hawthorn v GWS @ 2.30pm West Coast v North Melb. @ 6.00pm

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Collingwood coach Nathan Buckley laughs off Twitter spat with Kevin Sheedy comment. NATHAN Buckley has laughed off a Buckley was forced to tweet: “Ease up spat with Kevin Sheedy after the pair guys, all good natured”. sparked a Twitter war of words over “boring” footy. After a crowd of just 40,939 showed up to watch Collingwood defeat Carlton on Sunday night, Magpies president Eddie McGuire demanded compensation from the AFL for the poor turnout which he blamed on the late timeslot. Sheedy tweeted that there may have been another explanation, drawing a swift reply from the Magpies coach. That sparked a debate with Twitter users attacking Buckley for for his “rude”

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Geelong coach Chris Scott confident sore stars will recover for Western Bulldogs clash; team can rectify recent poor second halves JOEL Selwood is being nursed through a lighter week on the track in a bid to ease the load on his battered body. Chris Scott says Stevie J is down on form. Picture: Wayne Ludbey Chris Scott says Stevie J is down on form. Picture: Wayne Ludbey Source: News Corp Australia Selwood played the most of last week's match against Essendon under duress after suffering a heavy knock to his hamstring in the first quarter. He missed this morning's open training session at Simonds Stadium but will still play against the Western Bulldogs on Sunday. “Not too much worse than in previous weeks, but when it rains it pours. He got a knock really early to his hamstring, which made him even sorer. “He was still a really influential player, I thought, but he'll be better this week — he's already better this week than he was at the same stage last week, so I

don't think there'll be any problems there.” Scott admitted Steve Johnson's form was down, but conceded the mercurial midfielder was a victim of his own lofty standards. He backed his star playmaker to return to his best form when the whips are cracking leading into finals. The Cats again lapsed after half time last week, allowing Essendon to kick five unanswered goals to hit the front in the final quarter. It continued a worrying trend for the Cats, who have dropped off in matches against Port Adelaide, Richmond, Fremantle, Sydney, Carlton, Gold Coast and now the Bombers. Their second halves have been among the worst in the competition since Round 5 and Scott acknowledged the Cats needed to sharpen up, but said fitness was not the issue.

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image was not as it seemed: “It's a set-up, like when people stand in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. “Todd's paid a very heavy price for a photo that he didn't want out there or upload himself. It was supposed to be kept between mates. “He's got a photo of himself gone worldwide in not a very pleasant setting that's going to be on the net for his family and everyone to see.'' England may be an option for Carney to continue his career, although UK authorities rejected a visa application from him in 2009 after he was sacked by Canberra and deregistered by the NRL. Salford Red Devils owner, multi-millionaire Marwan Koukash, tweeted after Carney's sacking: “We have no interest in Todd Carney.”

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TODD Carney has been effectively banned for life from the NRL, with officials on Monday declaring they would be highly unlikely to ever again register a playing contract for him. The 28-year-old had his contract with Cronulla torn up on Sunday night following the release of a photograph showing Carney performing a vulgar act at a nightclub urinal. The incident has cost the disgraced footballer at least $3 million and other codes have indicated they won't grant him a lifeline. Carney on Monday said he was devastated by the loss of “dignity as a person'' arising from his “prank''. Speaking for the first time since the scandal, Carney said he had not even been able to talk to his mother about the photograph that appeared to show him urinating in his own mouth. “Oh, I haven't spoken to her because she can't speak to me and I can't speak to her,” he said. “It's just been text messages, so yeah, they're difficult ones ... I didn't do it to let anyone down, I didn't do it for a picture to be taken. Until Saturday I didn't know there was a picture ever taken.'' The NRL cannot officially deregister Carney for next year because he does not have a contract now after the Sharks tore up his $3 million deal on Sunday night. But NRL chief operating officer Jim Doyle on Monday made it clear it was highly unlikely Carney would ever be allowed back in the NRL. “Firstly, a club would need to determine that they want him to be part of their team,” Mr Doyle said. “I would be surprised if any club made that decision considering his past. Then he would need to convince the NRL he is a fit and proper person to play our game, and we would naturally take into account his past. “Given he has been terminated from three clubs, it is most unlikely that he would be cleared to rejoin a club in the NRL.” Cronulla cancelled training at Remondis Stadium on Monday and Sharks CEO Steve Noyce addressed players to explain why Carney was axed. Players expressed their views in return, with some angry that the club had taken such drastic action. Other players s questioned why Cronulla did not back their star and why they did not leave the NRL to make the harsh decision in relation to Carney's playing future. The vulgar image of Carney went viral over the weekend. The photo was allegedly taken two Saturdays ago in the men's toilets at the Northies hotel in Cronulla. Carney's manager David Riolo on Monday claimed the

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Ugly antics mean Carney has played his last game of NRL and he has only himself to blame

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Calls on Indonesia to Raise Tobacco Tax Jakarta. Experts and activists have called on the government to raise excise tax on tobacco, a measure considered to be more effective in reducing demand for cigarettes, which in turn could help tobacco control in the country. All domestic tobacco companies, as of Tuesday, are required by a 2009 law to cover at least 40 percent of the front cover of each cigarette packet they produce with printed graphic health warnings. The unprecedented move is seen as part of the country's efforts to make people more health consciousness and educate them about the dangers of smoking. “Having health warnings on cigarette packets helps prevent adolescents and new smokers,” Abdillah Ahsan, a researcher at the University of Indonesia's Demographic Institute, said on Thursday. But with such an high number of people already hooked on tobacco, many believe the health warnings, posted along streets in the country's larger cities and printed on cigarette packets, will only be ignored. The tobacco companies even seemed undeterred by the potential impact on sales in Indonesia, where one in every five people smokes. As an example Surjanto Yasaputera, the corporate secretary of small-scale cigarette manufacturer Wismilak Inti Makmur, based in Surabaya, East Java, said on Tuesday that the company still maintained its target of a 25 percent increase in sales this year despite

July, 9

having to paste the health warnings on its products. Surjanto went as far to say that health warnings on cigarette packs had limited impact on sales in those countries that have implemented the law. “To kill off the smoking habit in a more effective way, the government will have to increase the price of a pack of cigarettes and also the excise on cigarettes,” Abdillah said. Cigarette prices in Indonesia range from as little as Rp 9,000 to Rp 20,000 (about 75 US cents to $1.65) for a pack of 20. That's far less than those in neighboring Malaysia, Thailand and Papua New Guinea, where a pack goes for about $3 to $5, according to cigaretteprices.net. An aggressive tax policy pushes the price of a packet to more than $17 in Australia. Abdillah says the average excise tax on cigarettes in Indonesia is 46 percent of the base price, compared with the 57 percent potential increase in the excise regulated in the law. By comparison, the government sets the excise on alcoholic drinks at a maximum of 80 percent. The researcher even pointed out that the nation's excise on cigarettes is still far below the threshold of 70 percent, or two-thirds of the base price, set by the World Health Organization “a long time ago.” Indonesia is the only nation in the Asia-Pacific region that has not yet ratified the WHO's Framework Convention of Tobacco Control, which seeks to promote tobacco taxation aside from using pictorial health

warnings on cigarette packaging. “The government should revise these regulations. The excise on cigarettes should be and can be set as high as that of alcoholic drinks,” Abdillah said. He added that the excise on cigarettes should be increased at a rate higher than the country's economic growth. In the first quarter, Indonesia's economy expanded by 5.2 percent. “With the tax increases, at least families living in poverty can decide to stop buying cigarettes,” he says. In 2012, the Demographic Institute at the University of Indonesia found that 57 percent of Indonesian households bought cigarettes, and that cigarettes were the country's second-largest expense after rice. According to the survey, the average household spends Rp 36.5 million every 10 years on cigarettes. Eric Sugandi, an economist at Standard Chartered Bank, said imposing higher tax on cigarettes could raise the state's income, while also making smokers ask whether smoking was worth the cost. “An increase in excise tax on tobacco can boost the state's revenue while also change consumption pattern of smokers,” Eric said. With regional excise tax on cigarettes having come into affect in January, the state is aiming to rake in an extra Rp 10 trillion by the end of this year, as reported by Tempo.com in March. Meanwhile, in the recently revised state budget, the government is targeting state revenue to reach Rp 1,635.4 trillion this year.

2014

Kuta Weekly

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014 (395)

News Corner

Living the Bali Dream I had an interesting conversation over a few quiet beers with two mates from Perth, who now live in Kuta-Bali. Cliffie 75 yrs and Frankie 71 yrs who are sick and tired of listening to the rubbish that is getting airtime on the mainstream news back home about the island these guys, and so many of us, love so much. It seems the people back home that don't know what actually happens in Bali are believing the weekly television broadcasts, that depict everyone who lives or visits Bali as a person who is drinking themselves to oblivion or acting as a wild animal would. This, as the lads know, is not the case and retiring on the island as a choice is what these guys have done. “It's not all about drinking and buying cheap cloths” said Mr. Frank, “I wear clothes that I've had back in Australia for years, and if I need new ones I'll go and buy them” “Life on the island is about as relaxed as I could want” is the view from Mr. Cliff “My quality of life is so much better than stretching my cash back home” We have taken to spending our days at the beach, with our main aim being to stay healthy and enjoying the rest of our days with our family. The guys needed to keep fit so a couple of years ago they purchased Push Bikes, then started riding everyday for about 10 km at first then 20, then 30 then looking further afield to the attractions that the island has to offer such as Sanur, Nusa Dua, Tanjung Benoa, Balangan Beach/village,… often being seen through many small villages where travelers never venture seeing things that only the most adventurist get to see. The whisper is next week the boy along with a few friends are riding to Candi Dasa, approximate 65km. Each way, where a BBQ has been arranged for the team when they arrive at the planned stop. They will be spending two nights and two days touring in and around Candi Dasa, returning on the 3rd day. So as you can see Bali can be very much enjoyed without tearing around on motorbikes half full of booze. Get out and about there are many delightful things our boys have found off the beaten track and can be very much enjoyed by all. Anyone who is interested in joining the lads on planning a journey or on a daily ride can contact Mr. Frank on 081 337 812 933. Ps. At the end of each day the “BIKES” can be found at the beach with friends enjoying a few Cold Green Bottles. Now this is what “Really Happens In Bali” Enjoy The Ride. Thanks to all the other Candi Dasa Riders, MARDI, BENOA, COLIN, JOHN

Other Sports LIVE 2 Kuta Townhouses...see page 6 30

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Pollies get up to 3.8pc pay rise WA's backbench MPs will get pay rises more than one-third bigger than those given to police and other public servants by the State Government. Handing down its annual determination of salaries for politicians, senior bureaucrats and judges last night, the Salaries and Allowances Tribunal said it had approved a flat $5585 increase to MPs' pay. The tribunal's determination takes effect from July 1 and amounts to a 1.6 per cent rise for Colin Barnett, taking his salary to about $350,000. For backbenchers, it equates to a 3.8 per cent rise. The rise for backbenchers, which takes their base salary to $154,223, is 38 per cent higher than the rise given to police and firefighters as part of deals recently thrashed out with the Government. The deals, which were struck according to the Government's belt-tightening public sector wages policy aimed at tying pay rises to inflation, gave police and firefighters 2.75 per cent next financial year. They will get rises of 2.5 per cent in each of the following two years. Under the SAT's changes, senior public servants will also get a flat increase of $5474, amounting to between 1.1 per cent and 3 per cent. Council chief executives will receive an extra 3 per cent, while WA's judiciary will get 2.5 per cent more.

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Explaining its decision, the tribunal said it considered a range of economic factors but ultimately thought changes to the rate of inflation should be reflected. It also noted it had made no adjustments for MP allowances pending a review that was due to be completed later this year. The Premier said that "the determinations of SAT were independent of Government and are made outside of Government's wages policy". Mr Barnett also said the increase to politicians' pay would amount to only 3 per cent for most backbenchers once their loadings were taken into account. UnionsWA secretary Meredith Hammat said: "So while politicians get access to an independent tribunal to set their wages, the Barnett Government has changed the law to deny the independent setting of public sector wages." Police Union president George Tilbury said the same rules should apply to politicians as applied to the union's members. "It's disappointing, albeit the decision was made by an independent body," he said. Kevin Jolly, the secretary of the United Firefighters Union of Australia's WA branch, said the increase to backbenchers' pay was jarring given the tight fiscal circumstances. Community and Public Sector Union secretary Toni Walkington said the Government should revise its recent offer to public servants in light of the decision.

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This bear definitely has a sweet tooth A bear crashed a boy's birthday party in Alaska recently and helped himself to s o m e t r e a t s . Homeowners said that the bear fell through the skylight before festivities kicked off. "I was literally in the room, and I heard this cracking," Glenn Merrill, father of 1-year-old Jackson said. "And the next thing you know, there's this bear that, I mean, literally, fell right from (the skylight). It was like three feet away from me." As everyone made a mad dash for adjoining rooms, the bear went straight for the cupcakes on the living room table, devouring them all. The family was eventually

able to usher the bear out of the house. But the peckish animal didn't want to leave just yet. The bear reportedly stuck around and peered in at the party through a window on the back porch. Local wildlife officers believe the animal may be the same bear who broke into another property

shortly after the cupcake-eating incident. That bear intruder was killed by Juneau officers after it repeatedly tried to enter the house. "We don't take killing or destroying bears lightly," Ryan Scott of the Alaska Department of Fish and Game said. "People were inside that building. I think it was appropriate for that given the situation." It's not the first time a nosy bear has crashed a party. Last year, partygoers in Florida greeted a furry friend after it burst through a fence into a toddler's birthday bash. In another incident, several black bear cubs invited themselves to a backyard barbecue in Connecticut.

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Makeover Miracles

3 Jul - 9 Jul 2014

Aries Mar 21 - Apr 20

Libra Sep 24 - Oct 23

People are always happy to provide opinions. Many even surprise themselves sometimes at how knowledgeable they can sound simply by talking authoritatively. Very soon, you could find yourself inclined to consider others' viewpoints about an important matter. You can save yourself much hassle and frustration by listening only to one voice that matters: your instincts. You're about to discover how much of an expert you are where matters that concern you are concerned. Trust that you really do know what's best for you now.

We are all experts at imagining 'worst case' scenarios. If there was money to be made by looking at any opportunity and creating lists of what might go wrong or reasons why we should be pessimistic, many of us would be very wealthy people. None of us is naturally negative. We focus on negative aspects to any situation because we believe we're safeguarding ourselves against disappointment. This week, coming events will provide a very good reason to feel both positive and optimistic.

Taurus Apr 21 - May 21

Scorpio Oct 24 - Nov 22

The past plays an important part for many of us and it's likely to be a prominent feature where you're concerned, too. There's been much focus lately on your past and how it's influencing your attitude toward more than one situation or arrangement. You do have an option. You can choose to continue assessing and analyzing what happened and why or accept that past events are precisely what have led you to the very strong, positive and hopeful scenario that begins unfolding very soon.

The cosmos is now giving you a much-needed opportunity to breathe deeply and exhale. Sounds easy enough? If so, then why has it been so long since you were able to relax in a particular area of your world? For some time, you've primed yourself, preparing for confrontation or a need to justify yourself in some way. Expect soon to feel more optimistic about your prospects and this will do much to reassure you where you've needed reassuring. A plan might need to be tweaked slightly but that doesn't mean you were wrong to embark upon it.

Sagittarius Nov 23 - Dec 21

Gemini May 22 - Jun 22 'Duty is what one expects from others'. So said Oscar Wilde. We expect a great deal from those around us. They, in turn, expect much from us, too. Sometimes, the balance becomes imbalanced. Coming developments will make clear to you your obligations to others and what you have a right to expect in return for how much you give. You're not as obliged to please others as much as you believe and this week, you can expect to be pleased. Allow an arrangement to develop a bit further and you'll see how well it suits you and someone else.

Some things are designed to be easily dismantle-able. Structures that appear permanent can be taken down and removed in amazingly short spaces of time and erected elsewhere. People who earn livings building and dismantling such things learn the fastest and safest ways to build and dismantle whatever-it-is. You have an amazing opportunity coming to create something to your precise specifications or needs. You also have the option to rebuild it if it doesn't suit you the first time round. An idea, plan, agreement or relationship can be what you want and need it to be.

Cancer Jun 23 - Jul 23

Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 20

We all, from time to time, 'play our cards close to our chests'. There are times when it's appropriate to reveal thoughts and feelings and other times when it isn't. We are usually our own best judge when it comes to knowing what and what not to tell others. This week, you're likely to be withholding certain information for reasons best known to you. Those close to you not only want to help but deserve the chance to. All you need to do is remove a few defensive barriers. It's time to have a heart-to-heart conversation that comes straight from the heart.

Weight lifters know how important it is to make use of resting periods. If effort is constantly made and no rest is allowed, then muscle isn't given a chance to repair itself and become stronger. The same applies to you this week. It is essential you give a process a chance to strengthen by stepping back and letting a healing process take over, even briefly. Let some form of healing happen. You can only gain by giving it a chance to do so and if you allow it to happen, then valuable insight can be gained where you need it most.

Leo Jun 24 - Aug 23

Aquarius Jan 21 - Feb 19

We usually only regret what we don't do. Even when we make conscious decisions to pursue something we regret, a part of us is reassured we at least tried. This week, you could become increasingly confused about why you pursued a particular plan of action. You may wonder what on Earth compelled you to give something a try. Fortunately, you can expect to be reassured during coming weeks that you did not make an incorrect or unwise choice. What matters now is your continued belief in what inspired you to embark upon a certain plan.

It's frustrating when we have discussions with someone who feels they must make their point and override the point we're trying to make. We find ourselves cut off mid-sentence by someone who clearly thinks what we had to say wasn't as important. This week, focus is on communication, particularly between you and a certain person and progress that can be made if both of you are truly willing to hear what the other has to say. It's time to leave selfishness out of discussions. It's also time to avoid using any heavy-handed persuasiveness. Be gentle and accommodating.

Virgo Aug 24 - Sep 23

Pisces Feb 20 - Mar 20

Interesting people usually have a long list of issues to deal with. That's what makes interesting people interesting. They're in demand. They play an integral role in other peoples' lives. People want to be associated with them. They make decisions that affect others. As much as you resent responsibility that sits on your shoulders, you have an important role to play in at least one other person's world. If they benefit, then so too will you. Show selflessness this week and you too will gain what you want and need.

Sharks. Wasps. Hornets. Spiders. The list of things we fail to see beauty or purpose within is a long one. We can spend our lives wondering why we should share our existence with anything failing to match expectations of what's beautiful or worthy of appreciation. This week presents you with a wonderful opportunity to see what's beautiful and worthy of appreciating within something you had written off as insignificant or unappealing. To make a very positive step forward, all that's needed is a change in attitude.

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Boston resident Peter Herzfeld said of the surprise season-ending turn, which left millions of die-hard fans of the fantasy series in a state of astonishment and disbelief as they were handcuffed by federal law enforcement officials and charged with violating intellectual property law by using BitTorrent and

similar file-sharing services. “The last few minutes of the episode were so intense one moment the show was proceeding along as normal, and the next I was being shoved into the backseat of a police car and driven to a detainment facility. I just sat there completely stunned for a few minutes, trying to process what had happened. That's classic Game Of Thrones, though: no one's safe.” The nation's incarcerated fans said they could not wait to get out of prison after their five-year sentence and recap the startling conclusion with friends and coworkers.

Jl. Benes

N E W YORK—Followi ng a critically acclaimed 10episode run, the HBO series G a m e O f Thrones capped off its fourth season with a shocking finale that concluded with 5 million viewers being taken into police custody for pirating the show online. “Wow, you expect some major shakeups in the final episode of the season, but that part right at the end when the FBI kicked in my door and told me to get on the ground? I did not see that coming at all,”

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The following is a myth busting info page covering different songs or bands each week chosen by one of our many loyal readers, Please Enjoy…Madison Avenue “Don’t Call Me Baby.”

The duo released the track to their SoundCloud account along with other posts in Vine and Instagram. A music video for the song was also released and features actual selfies from Steve Aoki, founder of Dim Mak, Snoop Dogg, David Hasselhoff, WWE NXT superstar Tyler Breeze and Ian Somerhalder among others. Oliver Luckett, CEO of social media marketing firm TheAudience, said that the song is "so on point it's shit-white-girls-say-meets-a-club-remix". TheAudience introduced The Chainsmokers to Aoki, helped create the "Selfie" video and released it on January 29, 2014, on YouTube, utilizing the network of celebrities to promote it. According to Pall, "the video inherently had this viral concept built into it, which certainly helped get it off the ground". Composition "Selfie" is an EDM song that is mostly instrumental though it

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Background and promotion The Chainsmokers, composed of Drew Taggart and Alex Pall, had noticed how the word selfie had become a trend and they wanted to take advantage of it. They made a demo of a song containing monologue from a female clubber about taking good selfies. Inspiration came from the regular club going girls that The Chainsmokers saw on their nights out in New York City. So when they were composing the track, they wanted to incorporate the "let's take a selfie" line in it somehow. The Chainsmokers described in an interview with. Honestly, "Selfie" is kind of a phenomenon for us. We made it and thought it was funny and put it out as an edit. Then Dim Mak wanted to buy it, and they bought it from us and put it out officially and we made a video for it. This was all just because we thought it was fun. And then the song just kind of took on a life of its own. Which is honestly really great because it's brought in a new audience of people that listen to music that we've made that we're more passionate about.

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1 Aided (8) 2 Intended (5) 4 Out of sorts (6) 5 Humble (5) 6 Greek restaurant (7) 7 Funeral fire (4) 8 Unpowered aircraft (6) 13 Augment (8) 15 Treachery (7) 17 Interment (6) 18 Relatives by marriage (24) 20 Excessive (5) 22 Ship of the desert (5) 23 Earthly paradise (4)

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features spoken word verses; the uncredited talking female vocals in the song are by Alexis Killacam. The song details a narcissistic young woman at a club, presumably speaking to friends, as she is concerned about taking selfies and uploading them to her Instagram account, while she criticizes other people at the club, including their outfits, while also dealing with a guy named Jason, that she has a love/hate relationship with though she might have a crush on him as well. At the end of each spoken verse, she says "Let me take a selfie". The intonation of the spoken lyrics bears a strong resemblance to that of the opening of Sir Mix-A-Lot's 1992 single Baby Got Back. Similarly to "Selfie", the words are critical of the appearance of another girl. The lyrics make several cultural references, including Instagram and the Lana Del Rey song "Summertime Sadness". The song has been compared to the viral impact of "Harlem Shake" by Baauer. The Chainsmokers explained that one of their initial intentions with "Selfie" was to re-create the viral impact that "Harlem Shake" had, with the general public taking the song and maybe including their own interpretations along with the beat. The structure of it has drawn comparisons to the 1982 hit "Valley Girl" by Frank Zappa and his daughter, Moon Unit Zappa. Commercial performance "Selfie" debuted on the Billboard Dance/Electronic Songs chart at number 19, with first week sales of 9,000 digital downloads according to Nielsen SoundScan. The next week, "Selfie" sold another 53,000 digital downloads and debuted at number 55 on the Billboard Hot 100, the highest debut of the week. The sales drove the song to number six on the Dance/Electronic Songs and number three on the Dance/Electronic Digital Songs charts. "Selfie" additionally debuted at number seven on Dance/Mix Show Airplay, becoming only the sixth song in the chart's 11-year history to debut as high or above and the first since Lady Gaga entered at number six with "Alejandro" in May 2010. In its third week of release, the song sold another 88,000 downloads (up by 64%) to move into the top ten of the Hot Digital Songs chart. It also reached a peak of number 27 on the Pop Songs chart. On the Hot 100, the song consecutively jumped to number 28. It also started on the Hot Dance Club Songs chart at number 33. The fourth week saw the song sell a further 111,000 digital downloads and moved to number 18 on the Hot 100. It reached the top of the Dance/Electronic Songs, and also moved up the other component charts like Dance/Electronic Streaming Songs (16–7; 1.4 million US streams, according to Nielsen BDS), Dance/Mix Show Airplay (4–2) and Hot Dance Club Songs (33–19). "Selfie" sold another 101,000 copies next week and moved to number 16 on the Hot 100.

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In the United Kingdom, "Selfie" debuted at number 115 on the UK Singles Chart and moved to number 42 the next week. The song has so far peaked at number 17 in the UK. In Australia "Selfie" debuted at number 98 on the ARIA Charts, and moved to a peak of number 3.

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Clothing And Accessories - All Mechanical Repairs - Big Bike Rental Did You See It ? A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire. "Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said. The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday. After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said: "Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself." So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wifeasked:

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"Do you shave?" "No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?" "Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.....very generously indeed. The girl finished her bath and went to bed. Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you see it?" "Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours." "Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often enough before." "I know," he said, "but the dart team hadn't!" Positive Attitude!!! Thursday night he gradually came to, stiff as a board and in pain in the hospital's ICU with tubes up his nose & down his throat, wires monitoring every function and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. It was obvious he'd been in a serious accident. She gave him a deep and steady heartfelt look straight in the eyes and he heard her slowly say, "You may not feel anything from the waist down." He somehow managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your tits, then?â&#x20AC;? NOW THAT'S A POSITIVE ATTITUDE!!!!!!

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Farmer John Farmer John once lived on a quiet rural highway but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week. So Farmer John called the local police station to complain, "You've got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens," he said to the local police officer. "What do you want me to do?" asked the policeman. "I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!" So the next day the policeman had the Council erect a sign that said SCHOOL CROSSING Three days later Farmer John called the policeman and said, "You've still got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster!" So again, they put up a new sign SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY. That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and said, "Your signs are no good. Can I put up my own sign?" In order to get Farmer John off his back said "Sure. Put up your own sign. The phone calls to the Police Station stopped, but curiosity got the better of the Officer, so he called Farmer John, "How's the problem with the speeding drivers. did you put up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been killed. The policeman was really curious and thought he'd better go out and take a look at the sign. He also thought the sign might be something the Police could use elsewhere, to slow drivers down.. So he drove out to Farmer John's house. His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. 'NUDIST COLONY' 'Slow down and watch out for chicks!'

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Testicle Disorder A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously. "Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?" The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture. "Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay," said the woman... As they passed by the next room, they saw a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performed oral sex on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?" Again the doctor spoke very calmly: "Same illness, better health fund.."

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For Monthly or Longer term rentals we have a wide range to suit all budgets Available for monthly or yearly rental in Tanjung Benoa for prices at US$3,500 per month or US$36,000 per year. This villa is in a small street in Tanjung Benoa (Nusa Dua) meaning you are close to walking to many restaurants, shops, beaches and numerous large hotels but that you also have the peace and tranquillity of you own place! http://www.balicoolproperty.com/property/rental/66

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