The Experience Pag

“Sometimes bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” – Nicole Reed

Bad things in life can get you to a point of realization. This realization gave me a new perspective on the problems I encountered. After losing my aunt last October 2021 everything felt hard and heavy. During the time I was working in the US so I couldn’t be there for the family, which was heartbreaking when I got the news. Weeks passed, still working and I noticed during the time of grief that people cope with it differently. Everyone has their own path to walk along to get back to their balance.

It was really frustrating to notice. “Am I doing this wrong?” I was putting distance between my sisters, mom, and dad. Thinking it would help to avoid the confrontations of our different paths. Two months later I saw my cousin for the first time after the funeral. Before the passing of my aunt, I didn’t see her for two years. Sometimes bad things bring good things. Walking through Amsterdam we had a lot of fun and very good conversations. My cousin said: “You are really aware Koos.” Which was the opposite of what I was feeling. I was trying to fill the role that people around me needed.

“Listen to the silence. It has so much to say.” - Rumi

Arriving back home in Rotterdam, looking at the sunset and thinking: “Why does it feel so unbalanced”. Heaving the pressure of a project about prosthetics that I want to do for years next to the feeling I am not doing enough to support my loved ones. Not seeing my friends enough. Struggling with the time management of work and school. Fuck man life is hard.

“Just when you feel you have no time to relax, know, this is the moment you most need to relax.” – Matt Haig

I was in Venice for work. Sitting in the sun drinking an espresso thinking about what I am going to do. I remember thinking: “Why is finding the balance so hard?” Life isn’t in balance. It is a moving thing that is constantly shifting towards the feelings you are experiencing the most. The next days I was by myself in Venice which was what I apparently needed to get my head clear again. Thinking back to what my niece said, I am so busy figuring out what I think and feel and that I forgot to enjoy the moment.

“All the suffering, stress, and addiction comes from not realizing what you already are, and what you are looking for.” - Jon Kabat Zinn –

A project about balance is the result of this realization. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the growth. I enjoyed the conversations with friends about the growth. I noticed that this age is the moment you are becoming mature. Mature as in, becoming aware of your

own growth and be able to talk about it. Opening and becoming more connected.

For the outside I can appear direct or not caring, but if you are close to me, I open. Tell more about how I experience my life. I noticed that the opening didn’t come with words this time. It came through the project. Creating a translation of how I felt and what I have learned. Which made me more aware of what I as an artist/designer want to be. More open.