Warning signs These changes in your loved one may merit further investigation: 8 Muscle weakness, unsteady walking and frequent falls 8 Signs of depression, such as overwhelming sadness and disinterest in daily activities
“There has to be a balance between what the loved one needs and what the caregiver is able to provide.” —Beth Gehlhausen
8 Changes in physical appearance, poor hygiene, wearing dirty clothes 8 Neglectful housekeeping 8 Forgetfulness and memory issues, repeating same stories or asking the same questions 8 Decreased sense of hearing, sight, taste or smell 8 Changes in eating habits, not eating at all, or letting food go bad in the fridge 8 Repeated traffic accidents or tickets 8 Getting lost in familiar settings 8 Past-due bill notices, unopened mail 8 Forgetting to take medications 8 Lack of energy,
increased fatigue or altered sleeping habits
kit: If you do see something worrisome, what’s the best way to approach the issue? Marc Adamson: Often, your loved one has identified the signs already and may be open to discussing. A major concern for everyone is maintaining independence. Tying the discussion into ensuring they can remain healthy, independent and active usually opens them up to discussing issues more freely. Maureen Lindley: Let the person process what’s been discussed; don’t expect immediate change or decisions. Many times, people have to come to an acceptance that they need help.
kit: Let’s say you’ve determined there is a problem that needs to be addressed. What next? Carol Applegate: Getting a thorough medical evaluation is a good place to start. Take a look at medications and schedule any needed assessments to determine exactly where they are and whether they’re at risk. Beth Gehlhausen: Becoming familiar with resources in the community is vitally important. Looking at what’s best for your loved one is sometimes difficult, as it may require huge changes in a caregiver’s dayto-day life. There has to be a balance between what the loved one needs and what the caregiver is able to provide. Many caregivers are older themselves and take on more than they are physically and mentally able to handle. Jill Rusk, Director of Business Development, RN and Case Manager at CarDon and Associates: And there needs to be a discussion with family members about what is needed and who is willing to help.
kit: What if your loved one doesn’t want to talk about the issue, or doesn’t believe there’s a problem? Jill Rusk: You can always contact their family physician and discuss your concerns. Physicians and geriatricians are well-versed on addressing safety issues, and the news may be better received from someone other than a family member. Tina McIntosh: Sometimes, it’s ok to use a toughlove approach. Tell them, “We’re going to have this conversation and then I’ll know what you want, or you’re eventually going to be facing a challenge and I’m going to have to make decisions you may not like.”
44 kitindy.com September + October 2013