“Life Shouldn’t Always be Hard” A Season Called “Soft”

By Rev. Phyllis L. Linnes M.Div.

I must have been around nine years old when I heard a sermon entitled "Take Delight " My pastor, a graduate of the Duke University Divinity School, was a skilled homiletician It seemed his sermons were smeared with the blood of Jesus while stoking the fires of social justice and Black liberation Under his tutelage, delighting in the Lord was not a common thread in his teachings

Forty or so years later, delighting in the Lord still feels antithetical to the struggles and sacrifices of those seeking to be more like Christ We are to be crucified with Christ (Galatians 2:20) We are to bear our cross (Luke 14:27) We are to deny ourselves (Matthew 16:24), not delight

Several months into the pandemic, unable to attend church and relying on online service for worship encounters, I was brought back to this Scripture Psalm 37:3-7a reads, "Trust in the Lord and do good. Then, you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires.

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act "

In the middle of balancing teleworking, parenting, serving, and surviving a global pandemic, this promise from the Lord captured me I felt convicted because I'd gotten it all wrong for years Hearing and reading verse 4 several times, I never studied it for myself When I thought of delight, it was from a naive and foolish point of view In fact, the image of someone delighting in the Lord seemed comical to me I envisioned a doe-eye saint, joyously twirling around a field of lilies, free from strife and fully engrossed in the goodness of the Lord It was idealistic and unreal and far from the world that I lived in A world influenced by politics rather than principles A world besieged by division, class, and hatred A world where the blood of sons and daughters cried out for justice There was no time for twirling in my world Convicted, I heard the words of my mother, "There are seasons when you ask permission, and there are seasons when you take authority." The pandemic ushered me into a new season.

The physical, elemental, and spiritual aspects of seasons have always intrigued me The spring season is one of transformation and renewal Mother Earth is emerging from her slumber The days become longer, and there is a sense of hope and resurrection in the air Born in June, I am a summer baby I enthusiastically embrace long, sunny days. When I think of summer, I think of light, vitality, energy, and joy. The fall encourages us to release and let go of what is no longer serving us. It's time for preparation and storing up for what is to come. It's a season of surrender, thanksgiving, and gratitude. The winter season brings about an intentional introvertedness or a holy hibernation. The coldness outside encourages us to stay where it's warm We reflect on promises to come as we plan for the new year

"If you've spent any time on social media, you've probably heard the term soft life. The soft life aesthetic ranges from jetsetting on a solo vacation to indulging in the most decadent perfume to arranging a bouquet of fresh-cut roses Women are defining what a soft life looks like for them The intersection of softness, feminine energy, and submission seems to collide with Black Christian women.

Soft and sanctification can co-exist. It should co-exist A season called soft is the manifestation of a life that has proven God to be trustworthy Soft requires surrender We surrender to the will, the weight, and the wait of God

Contrary to social media, soft is more than pumpkin-spiced lattes and avocado toast; it's developing a consistent prayer life in which we talk to God, listen to God, and follow God's directions.

"It's more than manicures and pedicures; it's facing an adversary or trial, doing what you can, and leaving the rest in God's hands.

It's more than drizzling essential oils into a hot bath; it's hearing the doctor's report and laying hands on yourself or your loved ones

Then there is another season. In this season we must intentionally carve out a space for us to be our authentic selves. This season is called soft. It's a continuum where we surrender and embrace, where we release and call forth. It's where we take delight. The action of taking is key. Taking is to lay hold of something with our hands, to reach and to hold To take is to remove something from another particular place

Sometimes, it's letting the tears fall, knowing that life isn't fair; yet when we wake the next day, while life may be unfair, we know that God is always just

A season called soft can be our portion; it is the promise of Psalm 37: 3-7a When I studied this passage, several words lingered Trust Do good Live safely

Prosper Take delight Commit everything

Radiate Shine Be still Presence Wait

Verse 3: Trust in the Lord and do good Then, you will live safely in the land and prosper Trusting in the Lord and doing good, then you will have safety in the land and prosper (this is protection) Ladies, let's be honest, when we feel protected, it ushers softness into the relationship.

When we have been vulnerable with anyone other than God, we may have been hurt In order to protect ourselves, our hearts, and our sanity, we become the opposite of soft We become hardened

This is our shield of self-preservation How has that preservation been working for us? A season called soft requires that we trust God with our next, even our next hurt or heartbreak We have to trust God and the people God brings into and removes from our lives If you have lived long enough, you have a track record with God, and you've found God to be worthy of our trust

God is our shield and our safe space When we feel safe enough to be vulnerable, there is a brightness in our conversations, a boldness in our actions, and an ever-ready "Yes" on our lips.

Verse 4: Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires

Take delight Delight in Christ? How can I take delight when everything around me is crashing? A "season called soft" reminds us to take delight because everything around us is crashing. Delight means to be delicate, be pampered, make merry over, and be pliable. Pliable suggests something is easily bent, folded, twisted, or manipulated Our hearts become pliable in the hand of God Almighty In this season, our prayer should be God, mold me to your design Move my will and flesh out of the way and make me sensitive to the matters of your heart.

Verse 5: Commit everything you do to the Lord Trust him, and he will help you I always wanted to be the mother who rose early to have coffee and devotion with the Lord. But the way mothering, working overnights, and now perimenopause has disrupted my sleeping pattern, I've never been that woman A season called softness calls us to be realistic Rather than beat myself up, I take time throughout the day to commune with God When I rise, I thank God for another day to make Hashem smile. When I cook our meals, I pray for my family members who will eat them, and while this meal strengthens our bones, the word of God will strengthen our souls I'm praying for the farmers and their families, and every sacrifice made between the farm and my table. At work, I strive to reflect Christ in my conversations, work product, and group chat I could go on, but you get the point Commit everything you do to the Lord

Verse 6: He will make your "innocence" radiate like the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun The radiance of God is better than any skincare routine! God will make you radiant. A season called soft will rejuvenate us. Time with God can redeem the years and reinvigorate our enthusiasm and love for God This radiance, this shine, is not for us to be brighter; it's for others to see God within us and be drawn to the glow-giver How do we shine? We talk about Christ, and we talk like Christ We live like Christ We love like Christ, and we lead like Christ Matthew 5: 14-16 (Message) reads,

"Here's another way to put it: You're here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We're going public with this, as public as a city on a hill If I make you light-bearers, you don't think I'm going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I'm putting you on a light stand Now that I've put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you'll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven."

My radiant sisters, our directive is clear, "Shine, be open and generous with our lives and others will be encouraged to avail themselves to God

Verse 7: Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act One of my seminary teachers shared, "As a preacher, the best gift you can give to God is a rested, available, and equipped vessel " I laid hold of this nugget There have been several times when I was stuck or overwhelmed in preparation to minister that I would stop everything and be still. Often, I will take a nap because, as a dreamer, my next step is revealed in my dreams. A season called soft will urge us to rest while waiting. I've learned to wait for God to act. Wait for God to speak. Wait for God to point. This rest is preparation. Once God has spoken, we must respond, and if we're tired, hungry, overwhelmed, or exhausted, how can we effectively obey God?

We know life isn't easy However, life shouldn't always be hard, either There should be pockets of pleasure, some dalliance of delights on our journey to be more like Christ A soft season is not an ode to consumerism or material goods but rather a holy resistance to worldly stereotypes of the Black woman as a workhorse, the bitter breadwinner, or the hardened housewife. When we lay hold of our delight in our Lord, we fall into that carved-out space with the Lord and embrace the attributes of the abundant life that Christ died for. We must learn to carve out this time before our world caves in. My sisters, be gentle with yourselves and stay soft.

She is a mom and a minister on a mission! Rev Phyllis is the great granddaughter of two Methodist preachers and prophets Standing on the shoulders of her ancestral giants, she flourishes in both mantles by serving as an Itinerant Elder in the African Methodist Episcopal Church An experienced playwright and creative, Rev Phyllis earned a Master of Divinity degree from the Samuel DeWitt Proctor School of Theology at Virginia Union University in 2014 She is the very proud mother of a brilliant and intuitive teenage son Rev Phyllis is a self-proclaimed foodie, cute shoe lover and single parent advocate. First Came the Carriage is Rev. Linnes’ first book.