letters has been holding inside. The tears may be accompanied by sweating and vigorous movement, or with words such as, ‘I don’t want you, I want mummy’. If dad can find compassion, and not take the crying and words personally, the child can let out all the feelings in a safe space. When she has finished healing from this chunk of hurt, she will cuddle her dad and tell him how much she loves him. In this way, a dad can welcome his child’s feelings, knowing that his presence is giving her the gifts of acceptance, healing and intimacy.
Boredom Busters Nancy Blakey books: • Go Outside! • More Mudpies: 101 Alternatives to Television • Boredom Busters • Recipes for Invention Available from www.nancyblakey.com
Kindred 10
Marion Badenoch Rose www.awareparenting.blogspot.com NSW
Chemicals compromise health I just came across your site while I was searching for the potential hazards of propylene glycol which I had heard can cause problems for some. I was experiencing a lot of dental issues, especially sensitive teeth due to gums receding leaving teeth nerves exposed. I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), Fibromyalgia and Multiple Chemical Sensitivities and I am more vigilant about what I come in contact with now, especially via the mouth as it is one of the most absorbent parts of the body. My dentist has recommended more potent fluoride toothpastes and GC tooth mousse to help with easing the sensitivity. I did start using them but my sensitivity and pain got worse instead of better, so after investigation on the net and elsewhere, I stopped using them because of controversy with petroleum-based products and the fluoride in the ingredients. I switched to a brand called Natural Toothpaste which does not contain these chemicals including SLS,fluoride and propylene glycol, and my teeth sensitivity symptoms have decreased by avoiding the ingredients that are supposed to help. Interesting hey? Children are especially more prone to these chemicals as they have a ‘growing’ immune system and have much thinner skins than adults so chemicals (including the MSGs and food colourings — see Sue Dengate’s website link below) at an early age possibly would be long-term problematic. Anyway there are websites that still say these ingredients are safe, so what do you believe? I guess believe yourself, and what does and does not work for you. The big issue that these ‘It-is-safe’ people don’t say is the accumulative long term effects (using these products for years) has on you as no studies long-term have been done. CFS can be the result of the long-term use of these chemicals and the addition of every-
day pollutants in the body that affect your immune system. Just thought you might like to follow up about the long-term ‘unknown’ use of these chemicals and ‘diseases’ like the little recognised and understood CFS, Fibromyalgia and especially multiple chemical sensitivity syndromes such as sick building, etc. Suggested websites: Sue Dengate www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info [see Sue Dengate’s article in this issue] and another interesting one for research w w w. b e t t e r l i v i n g r e s o u r c e s . n a m e / site/708446/page/45029 Peter Owen email
Home is where the birth is As a new subscriber I read my first copy of byronchild [Kindred] with enthusiasm to have finally found a magazine that fits with my beliefs and my parenting style. As the editor of the Homebirth Network SA newsletter, I was really pleased to read the article by Phoenix Arrien, ‘Home is where the birth is’, in the September 06 edition. My first child was born at home and I too believe that the safest, gentlest and most effective place to birth is at home with a compassionate, caring midwife that I have formed a deep and loving relationship with. But I was totally impressed that the gist of the article was not about the place of birth (since she actually ended up having a caesarean in hospital) but about having an independent midwife by her side through the pregnancy, labour, any birthing complications, the birth (whatever type!) and following care. For this is what our home birth mothers believe and all of them have experienced the joy and empowerment of such a process. It is sad that so many women see ‘home birth’ as a hippie or new age option that is full of risk and fear. This is just not what it is about. Birthing is a ‘passage of honour’ for a woman and a great journey and accomplishment. I am so proud to have chosen myself to be the one in charge of my journey and to share the whole journey with two amazing midwives who provided expert skill, encouragement and never ending love (and birth photos!). This kind of loving service, for myself and my baby, is just not possible within the public or private hospital birthing systems. Thank God for Independent Midwives! Heidi Robins Adelaide, South Australia