Marching Song

Page 102

the melee and the joust just about the same. I have never traveled beyond the Seven Kingdoms and have no desire to; Winterfell is my home now and truth be told I hope never to stray south of the Neck again. My favorite color is dark blue—like the color of the blue stars or kind of like your sister’s eyes. I am sad and scared sometimes. I was twelve when I killed my first man. I’ve killed a lot of people since then but only found joy it in when they deserved killing. As to my fondest wishes, well, one of them is that you be nicer to your sister. When you are rude and disobedient to her, it makes me unhappy. I had an older sister too, did I ever tell you? Her name was Elinor. She died when I was six and she fourteen. I don’t have many memories of her. A hug when I fell down. Songs and stories at bedtime. Our hands touching one another as we petted the fur of my first dog. Sometimes I wish I could relive those moments; I would appreciate her more. Most times though I’m glad I can’t, it would grieve me too much if what I felt for her was deeper than it is. You are very fortunate to have Sansa, you know that, don’t you? Your sister would do anything for you and your brother and though you may see me yell at her a lot because I’m a bad tempered oaf, I am immensely proud of her. Proud for her. This world is a cesspit of cold cruelty and it takes from us relentlessly— first our mothers and our fathers then our safety then our faith and honor and honesty and dignity—until a man’s got so little left he hardly feels like he’s even human anymore. Most losers take the hurt that’s been done to them and swallow it and hold it in their guts where its distilled into a kind of venomous rage that they

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