Issue 6

The Associate

The newsletter for graduates and students of Bath Centre for Psychotherapy and Counselling

From Judy Ryde, new Chair of BCPC Welcome to Issue Six of Like many others these days, BCPCA is having to make difficult decisions around the allocation of an extremely limited budget.

As a result, for this issue at least, we have returned to an electronic copy only.

This saves around £2,000 per year so I hope those of you who campaigned for a paper copy will understand. If anyone needs help in reading the online version just drop me a mail and I’ll send you a quick ‘how-to’ mail. I can also send you a pdf copy for you to print locally.

Thanks to all who contributed. It’s meant that we have a wide ranging issue including book reviews, student MA standard writing, poetry, specialist articles and news items.

The next issue will be in about six months time so start thinking about what you would like to contribute.

If you have any questions or comments feel free to contact me or Carolyn: martin.phillips28@btinternet.com carolyn@bath-therapy.co.uk

I feel very proud to be Chair of BCPC, even though it was not a post I was looking for.

As the only remaining trustee after the AGM, I felt I had little choice but to accept the role. All trustees for a variety of reason had left the Board. However, I feel very confident that we have a good new group of trustees and I feel well supported by them. There are now five full members of BCPC on the Board and two people previously unconnected with us but who bring expertise from the world of business and organisational development. This has already proved to be invaluable.

As a Board we are determined to bring in some important changes which we hope will make BCPC less confusing structurally. We want to ensure that decisions taken by those in authority will be based on democratic and collaborative principles and our core values; that our charitable objects will be undertaken with enthusiasm and our business models will be robust and cost effective. Although BCPC has always tried to ensure that we are congruent with our core values, we felt that it is time to revisit this as part of our pledge at the AGM to look at our structures root and branch. As a first step of the structural review we have already planned a morning to which all members of BCPC are invited to ensure that our mission statement and core values are ones that emerge from the membership so that subsequent decisions are based upon them.

As you will already have seen, this morning workshop is to be on April 13th and includes one of David Frost’s delicious lunches. I do hope that as many of you as possible will be able to come. Peter Hawkins, a trustee, full member and founder of BCPC and Peter Binns, one of our new trustees, will facilitate the day. The two of them are very experienced organisational consultants and have spent many years helping organisations to effectively live their purpose and are very experienced at facilitating large groups in decision making processes.

We plan to bring reforms to the Board itself so that those who come from outside BCPC and have no understanding of our structures or why they are in place cannot overrule the will of the members. My personal view is that the committee structure has served us well over the years and has meant that members have been able to ensure professional standards and ethics within BCPC. These committees are subcommittees of the Board and are there to assist all members – not just students, or even particularly students – as is sometimes thought. The training committee obviously is mainly engaged with issues which deal with our undergraduate training but we also have the standards and ethics committee, the re accreditation committee, the emeritus committee, the counselling and psychotherapy referral committee (PCS) and BCPCA itself. In my experience all these different committees play a very important role in the life of the BCPC community – particularly that of graduates. The membership of the committees come from amongst our members rather than from an external authority and ensures we all meet the requirements of our professional work.

We are committed as a Board to involve as many as are willing to help us with our structural review. We want to be inclusive, dialogic, listening and democratic and to hear from all in BCPC and not only those with the loudest voices.

ensure professional standards and ethics within BCPC. These committees are sub-committees of the Board and are there to assist all members – not just students, or even particularly students – as is sometimes thought. The training committee obviously is mainly engaged with issues which deal with our undergraduate training but we also have the standards and ethics committee, the re accreditation committee, the emeritus committee, the counselling and psychotherapy referral committee (PCS) and BCPCA itself. In my experience all these different committees play a very important role in the life of the BCPC community – particularly that of graduates. The membership of the committees come from amongst our members rather than from an external authority and ensures we all meet the requirements of our professional work.

Trustees, of whom most are BCPC and BCPCA members, have an important responsibility to the charity commissioners for the financial probity of BCPC and we have to ensure ourselves that we are financial sound and prudent. BCPC is also beholden to UKCP for the standards and ethical practice of our psychotherapy graduates and to UKCP and BACP for the appropriate standard of training and these tasks are delegated to the appropriate Board subcommittees. We have to assure ourselves as a Board that these tasks are carried out well. We are asking each committee to report once a year so that Board members (trustees) understand their work and members of the Board sit on these committees where possible to ensure good communication. My present knowledge of these committees is that they are exemplary in the way these tasks are carried

out. I have been a member of most of the committees over the years and am presently a member of the PCS committee (used to be called the Referral Service committee) and the Standards and Ethics. Both have enthusiastic and thoughtful members and I enjoy my contact with them and the issues we grapple with.

As a founder member of BCPC I am very proud of the way it has developed. This does not mean that we do not need to change. Over the years we have made many changes in the light of changing circumstances and no doubt we are now at one of those times. I hope that my time as Chair will see BCPC continue to providing an excellent quality of training and a lively and engaged membership where people feel that their membership is important and meaningful to them.

Judy Ryde

I’m writing a book about this very important topic. I hope to distil a ‘Competence Framework’ composed of general principles that will enable practitioners (counsellors, psychotherapists, supervisors and trainers) across all modalities, to focus on their own individual potentialities and limitations for being competent in their moment-to-moment work with clients.

I need to find out about any research that has taken place in the subject area, either published or unpublished.

I’d be very glad to hear from you if you have been involved in research connected with competence and self-care, either for your MA, or for any other reason.

If you know of any research mentioned in books or journals you have read I’d be pleased to be directed towards it.

The deadline I have agreed with Routledge, who have commissioned the book is the end of April this year, so I would appreciate an immediate response, if you’re able to help.

exploration of the past seems to be the obvious way to move forward.

At one point, Grosz says he had been wrong about a particular interpretation. By approaching psychotherapy and psychoanalysis in this way, he implies that he could have been right. As a therapist, is it important to ‘issue’ a right or wrong interpretation? Isn’t this more in the experience of the client?

Grosz himself remains enigmatic, and the patient just seems to be an object for analysis. What about the therapeutic relationship? Grosz does talk about himself, but not in the context of interacting with clients.

Grosz mentions where he practises (Hampstead!) and the long journey he once made across London to see a supervisor (one of the best, of course!) Is it necessary for him to say that he takes his job so seriously that he is prepared to make long journeys to supervision? Is this not what we all do, metaphorically and literally?

The boundaries relating to the disclosed material are porous to say the least. There is no mention of disguising clients’ details.

And is it appropriate to use material about a woman he met on a plane?

One of the strengths of the book is that there is no jargon, except for two key concepts (transference and split) which are clearly explained. This is a very good approach for the lay public.

Having said that, Irvin Yalom, Susie Orbach and even Oliver Sacks have given powerful and convincing accounts of what happens in the consulting room. I am thinking also of the intensity of the fictitious therapist Paul Weston in the TV series ‘In Treatment’. It’s true that Weston is portrayed as behaving in unorthodox ways and that he is often unboundaried, but at least he is fully alive, present and engaged.

The writing style is simple and clear. The book has chapter headings recapitulating in a few words the basic meanings of some of Grosz’s understanding of life experiences, for example ‘The bigger the front’ (read the book to see what it means!) or ‘How lovesickness keeps us from love.’ However, I read each chapter more as a detective story with a denouement, rather than as a life experience. It is as if each story has to have an ending (and very often a happy ending!) And sometimes I didn’t know what to make of them. For example, Grosz meets by accident a client several years after the end of therapy and the client introduces him to his wife. Does Grosz intend to underline that the client was now married, and that this is a positive outcome? If the marriage had not happened, would this have been a less desirable turn of events?

In Grosz’s recounting, content seems to dominate – I would have liked to hear more about the therapeutic process. The author does make clear that when therapy reaches an impasse,

By contrast, Stephen Grosz leaves me with the impression that I am dealing with an academic-type storyteller. Something is missing from his account: the power of the therapeutic encounter in the consulting room.

To sum up, I have some reservations about Grosz’s way of working, but the book does have its place on the shelves of the general reading public.

During my foundation year when I was keen to know everything about psychotherapy, but before actually being taught anything about psychotherapy, I picked up a house brick of a book called (Perls, Hefferline, Goodman 1972). Recently I re-read the book (increasingly I find that a book re-visited in later stages of training magically delivers more value than previously experienced).

Normally I skip past introductions, but this time I didn’t. On the first page of Perl’s Author’s Note, he talks about the importance of not presenting a child with “frustrations” which are “too great for the child to cope with”, or else there is a danger that the child will “develop his own individual brand of psychopathology. He will start to manipulate the environment by phony behaviour (role playing) or by taking control to ensure that those intolerable frustrations will not occur again.”

Perls notes that these frustrations need not be practical challenges, but can be much more subtle:

Martin Phillips

This is particularly true for Latin dances where torturing women is the chief aim of the choreography. While the woman is routinely expected to perform multiple spins in both directions, hip swivels, dips and complicated lock steps, the man often stays in one place and...well...minces a bit. Of course we have to ‘lead’. But as a novice, this means guessing the trajectory of your partner when she hurtles back from a particularly dizzying spin in order to be in the right spot to catch her - a bit like a cricketer fielding in the slips.

I notice that, during the early stages of learning a new dance step when ‘leaders and followers’ group together on opposite sides of the room and – unavoidably – get it wrong, the women laugh amongst themselves and have an enjoyable chat about what went wrong. Many men on the other hand avoid each other’s eyes or swap embarrassed, serious, raised eyebrow glances. If we do laugh, it’s that male ‘smoke screen’ guffaw intended to disguise a feeling rather than express it. The women expect to not get it right first time and, more importantly, that’s fine; an experience to be shared with a neighbour. How could it be otherwise? After all, we are in the process of learning. But men can act as if getting something wrong – particularly in public – is in some way shameful.

It’s as though they should know it...before knowing it.

“The most important frustrations occur of course when demands are made upon him from the environment at a stage when he cannot cope, when for instance he is spoken to in a language of concepts and abstractions at a time when he can think only in concrete terms. At that time he may develop a feeling of utter stupidity. In a case like that his life-script will demand an overcompensation of omniscience.” (Ibid).

Omniscience - defined in the dictionary as “knowing everything”; perhaps including how to dance before being taught? It brought to mind something from Adam Phillips’ book (Adam Phillips 2007) where he interprets Winnicott as stating that: “If the environmental failure is severe – beyond the infant’s comprehension – then he will, in despair, develop a militant fantasy of selfsufficiency in which the mind will be used not to continue the mother’s care but to displace it altogether.” (Phillips, 2007:95) Back to ballroom dancing - I wonder if there is something more prevalent in the upbringing of men which gives rise to an “overcompensation of omniscience” and “a militant fantasy of selfsufficiency” which makes it difficult for them to accept wisdom from others - and might make them feel a bit stupid when they or a can’t master a despite not having been taught it?

Perls, Hefferline, Goodman, (1972).

I remember how it used to feel difficult for me to start a new Souvenir Press). activity or learn something new - often because I expected to feel (Penguin) Phillips, A, (2007) stupid for getting it wrong and not knowing what to do; that I would feel humiliated for not knowing something . I could experience the same feeling during the early stages of training if a tutor corrected my understanding of some area of theory.

Martin Phillips

The attitudes and experiences of family members greatly influences how somebody copes. Parents may be over-protective through fear of injury or death. Families may harbour misconceptions about epilepsy and thus become socially isolated for fear of adverse public reactions. Any negative stigma from parents can lead to shame in adolescents and heighten fears about facing stigma from others. Older children may behave overprotective towards the parent with epilepsy and this may in turn lead to non-attendance at school.

Despite improvements in health care delivery services, there remains a troubling inadequacy of health information generally made available. For example, a third of all women of childbearing age consider not having children or fewer children, viewing their condition as a barrier to reproduction. Marital rates are lower than average. Social anxiety and isolation reduce opportunities for dating and intimate relationships. Fear of a seizure during intercourse may cause significant anxiety.

The person may also have high anxiety provoking experiences directly consequential to the seizures. Attacks may involve unpleasant or frightening hallucinations, extreme emotional swings, bizarre behaviours, distorted awareness and perception, and embarrassing aspects such as incontinence. Individuals have to adjust to long term drug treatment and possible accompanying side-effects such as acne, alopecia,weight gain, unwanted facial hair,irritability and mental sluggishness. Many have to endure successive treatment failures and the accompanying emotional highs and lows as hopes are raised and then dashed again. A failure of brain surgery and a relapse back to having seizures, can be devastating.

Epilepsy carries unique burdens and consequences for the individual and their family. It may have major psychological and social repercussions and have general impact on quality of life. The ramifications may be far reaching and for some, it may even be more devastating than the seizures themselves.

People with epilepsy may avoid socialising for fear of having seizures in front of others. A fair proportion face significant problems of social discrimination. Stigma –be it real or imaginedmay cast a long shadow upon the life of the individual. That person may feel different, abnormal, defective, disabled, or unacceptable.

They may be discredited by others and subject to stereotypical labelling which brings about feelings of disgrace, abjection and shame. This may lead to demoralisation, low self-esteem, diminished confidence, avoidance of activities and self-imposed social isolation. Receiving a diagnosis of epilepsy can lead to a significant chain of grief reactions. Disclosure of epilepsy can be stressful because of the fear of rejection. A pernicious practice of concealment or self denial may become a life long norm .

Memory and mental concentration problems are common and affect academic and work performance. They also impact on selfimage and self-esteem. Memory deficits may lead to a loss of confidence in social settings and feelings of inadequacy. In addition, epilepsy may mean coping with other hidden deficits such as language problems. A dual diagnosis of accompanying learning disability may be present in up to a third of people suffering epilepsy.

A great proportion of people with epilepsy may be denied employment, even when seizures would not render their work unsuitable or unsafe. As well as financial hardship, this may further erode a person’s identity and feelings of self-worth. Often the individual again feels a need to lie and may conceal their ‘epileptic identity’, fearing disadvantage and shame. Withdrawal of driving licence may mean loss of autonomy and have implications for work.

A key characteristic of epilepsy is the unpredictability of when and where a seizure will occur. It’s unyielding intermittent pattern of intrusion, may make the person feel that they are not in control of their life and devoid of freedom. The seizure experience itself is often frightening and may result in injuries from the mild to the severe. Prolonged uncontrolled grand mal seizures may cause sudden unexpected death. Related fears may become a preoccupation.

It is often the possibility of having a seizure, rather than the seizure itself, which may be handicapping to the person with epilepsy.

Feelings of caution, hesitation, helplessness, hopelessness and pessimistic resignation may build up over time. Maladaptive avoidance strategies, passive coping styles and low self-efficacy are common. The lack of efficacy perceived by the individual in coping with aversive events, may originate not only from fear expectations but also the avoidance behaviours. The feeling of inefficacy may involve perception of loss of total control, abandonment and inability to make decisions. Feelings of not being in control may extend to include many aspects of the person’s life.

There may be a compensatory enhanced need to find control in other ways, such as in relationship dynamics.

Psychiatric co-morbidity in epilepsy is common. Rates of severe depression and suicide are much higher that the general population. When clusters of seizures occur, mood disorders commonly become manifest and these may include hypo-manic or psychotic symptoms. There are also some recognised syndrome patterns of personality traits which may develop insidiously over time.

Thus I am hoping to draw the awareness of my BCPC colleagues to my dedicated concern for those whose lives may be compromised because of their epilepsy. If at any time you have such a client and for whom you have a particular concern of neuropsychiatric, psycho-social or clinical nature, I would be more than happy to advise.

In addition, if you are ever wishing to hand over a prospective client for reasons relating to their epilepsy, I would be very pleased.

Mike McCarthy Email - mike.mcc@hotmail.co.uk Mobile - 07773 229872

Dreary and drunk, voices call out in darkness Dungeons of the mind draw near Sighs of sickness sink deep Rocks and ruinous rage resound Bites burns bruises breaks Cut and slain the misery behold A summons of stillness alights Tears leak and longings linger Seduced by sadness to shatter all schemes And dread of death defiles all dreams Lures my mind to find shelter Safe and silent where shores lie still Then permission finds passage Peace and purpose propose to preside again

The Songbirds Ella Bloomfield We are all wounded, of course we are.

Were it not so we would all fly heavenwards, a fantastic fluttering, and burn up in a glorious blaze.

But something leadens our wings and makes us adjust and dip away from the glorious sun‌ an unexpected current, a bent feather, forgotten scar tissue.

And each morning, despite ourselves we rise again‌ finding a current, creating a current, to take us skywards.

And each day we hear horseshoes clattering on the road worn a little more and echoing less then new again and humming tin-sharp and quick in the air.

And each day the wind plays her instruments differently as the trees grow higher and the branches bend a new arc towards the earth.

And so I say, as you preen your feathers so straight and perfect, it is the bent one that keeps us here where the symphony is playing.

psychoanalytic voices to make themselves heard. Also despite convincing evidence for the lasting efficacy of psychodynamic psychotherapy, this tends to be downplayed, which Holmes sees as ‘a reflection of political and social forces rather than pure scientific evidence’ (p 99/100).

Rather refreshingly the terms psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, psychodynamic psychotherapy and psychodynamics are used interchangeably, as both Storr and Holmes regard their similarities as far greater than their differences (pxi).

Psychotherapy is defined as ‘the art of through in the context of a personal, professional (pxii). The focus of the book is on the kind of therapy that is carried out once or twice a week, rather than four or five times as Holmes admits that even psychoanalysts do not see many people that often unless they are students in training to become psychoanalysts!

The new edition has been thoroughly updated. Despite ruthless cutting and pairing, the adding of four new chapters, retitling and re-organising others, and adding new material to all chapters, Holmes feels that he has remained true to the spirit of Storr’s original work. His description of the current version as ‘a fresh stem grafted onto exceptionally sound and strong root-stock (pix) is very apt, as it has a timeless quality, yet is at the same time right up to date. This is important, as the world in which psychotherapy is currently practised has changed a great deal since ‘The Art of Psychotherapy’ was first written. In this edition cognisance is therefore taken of developments such as the Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT) programme, governmental and public demands for evidence of the effectiveness of psychotherapy, and the push towards shorter and cheaper treatments, all of which seem a far cry from Storr’s Jungian view of therapy as ‘a kind of Pilgrim’s Progress without a creed, aiming not at heaven, but at integration and wholeness’ (pix). Holmes ruefully states that these days psychotherapy is often equated with Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and that it is not always easy for

Although there is reference to theory, the book’s fifteen chapters focus primarily on the of psychotherapy. It is therefore an excellent teaching aide, as well as a helpful resource for those starting out as therapists. I was struck by the book’s spirit of generosity and the attention to the detail of therapeutic work, including the furnishing of the room within which clients are seen, the basic requirement to create a safe and confidential space, how to handle a first session and the importance of allowing sufficient time between clients to write notes, make any telephone calls, or simply relax sufficiently before seeing the next client.

Particularly for new therapists Holmes points out the usefulness of detailed ‘process recording’ either during or immediately following a session, as attention to minute details can often reveal important issues. This is line with Hawkins and Shohet’s (2012) process model of supervision, which includes seven different eyes or lenses through which the minutiae of the work (and the relationship) with clients may be viewed and reflected upon. A separate chapter focuses on the importance of recognising and overcoming clients’ initial resistance, building up a sound ‘therapeutic alliance’ and ‘trying to understand the relational constellation in terms of transference’ (p12).

Subsequent chapters focus on working with dreams, transference and counter-transference and the therapeutic relationship. There are separate chapters on psychodynamic case formulation, depression, anxiety and personality patterns. I found the chapter on endings particularly useful.

The point is made that endings bring gains as well as losses, but that what really matters is that there is ‘an existential change in the way people experience and signify their lives’ (p102).

I greatly enjoyed the chapter on ‘the life and work of a psychotherapist’. Holmes argues that therapists tend to be oriented towards the arts rather than the sciences (although the two can be combined) and that in order to understand others we first need to be open to our own emotions.

Personal therapy is therefore a must as ‘the more (a therapist) learns about herself, the more she will be able to understand her patients; the more she learns about her

patients, the more she will be able to understand herself’ (113). I strongly resonate with this last sentence, and agree that we learn about ourselves from each and every client, and reflection on and understanding of our own experiences (whatever they are) can help us to be with clients at a deeper level. The longer I work, and the older I get, the more I realise that absolutely everything is Co-author ‘ ’ Sage, London 2012. grist to the of mill.

By its very nature psychotherapy happens behind closed doors, so we never actually see each other working. Consequently there can be a mystery around what psychotherapy actually involves, which means that students may initially find it difficult to find out how to make therapeutic interventions. It is therefore really helpful that the book includes numerous practical examples of how to deal with particular situations; they go a long way to demystify what it is that psychodynamic therapists actually do. In addition there is a separate chapter on interpretations with useful advice on ‘what to say, when, and how’ (p28) and the helpful suggestion that therapists should be guided by their feelings in this. The term ‘interpretation’ can be misunderstood by those of a different theoretical orientation, however an ‘interpretation’ may be no more complicated than ‘you looked a bit sad when you were talking about that programme on TV last night, I wonder what that stirred up for you….’(p29).

The book is well written in a straightforward, engaging manner that made it a pleasure to read. I also liked the fact that Storr and Holmes advocate a warm, relational therapeutic style, which is not unlike Rogers’ unconditional positive regard (p48), and totally in line with the kind of therapeutic relationship advocated by bcpc.

Basically, the book is a little gem and I feel sure that this new edition will continue its reputation as a timeless classic. A useful introduction for beginners, it is also a helpful refresher for more experienced therapists and deserves a place on the essential reading list of any psychotherapy course.

Hawkins, P and Shohet, R (2012) Press / McGraw-Hill Education.

Maidenhead, Berks: Open University

Business Support for Therapists and Counsellors An accountant based near Midsomer Norton is offering business support to therapists and counsellors for a one-off annual fee of £100.

The service includes business setup, telephone support, e-mail support, year end and general accounts advice.

The accountant, Nigel Wulcko is the husband of BCPC student Lynn Wulcko and several members of her group have taken up Nigel’s offer. For more information contact Lynn at lynnwulcko@yahoo.co.uk

“When a child first catches adults out - when it first walks into his grave little head that adults do not have divine intelligence, that their judgements are not always wise, their thinking true, their sentences just his world falls into panic desolation. The gods are fallen and all safety gone. And there is one sure thing about the fall of gods: they do not fall a little; they crash and shatter or sink deeply into green muck. It is a tedious job to build them up again; they never quite shine. And the child’s world is never quite whole again. It is an aching kind of growing.”

together, and what to look out for when signing up to a course in child counselling.

By Natalie Marshall-Shore

Lunch was not provided – I brought my own but there was a well-stocked café offering soups, sandwiches, cakes and coffee. Having experienced several conferences that were catered for by David Frost I feel I have been rather spoilt and that nothing will quite compare!

The break was a good opportunity to meet new people, share experiences and swap contact details; as working as a counsellor /therapist can be quite isolated, particularly for those in Private Practice, I feel the social aspect of CPD days and conferences is just as important as the learning that can take place.

Had I the time and money I would probably go to every single one, out of sheer curiosity and interest, but as I neither possess the winning lotto ticket nor the ability to A new friend and I defected from our afternoon insert another day into the week, I must choose workshops and instead went to a taster talk by Online carefully.

Training for Counsellors Ltd, which promised a live demo of online counselling. Because of noise from the This February I chose to attend the BACP Student adjoining room, it was difficult to hear, but as I could still Conference on Saturday 22nd at Imperial College, read the screen I got at least the general gist of what London, and I’m glad I did. At £30 for BACP student was happening. It certainly didn’t make me want to sign members, it was good value for money; delegates had up to do a course in Online Counselling (basically you the opportunity to go to three pre-bookable workshops just need a computer, good counselling skills and be and a selection of taster talks. pretty quick at typing) but it did show me how to check understanding and generally manage a session in that There was the usual networking opportunities and an format. I still don’t know how to replace a smile, eye exhibitors hall where representatives from BACP contact or the invaluable ‘umm hmm’ though! divisions, Colleges, Universities, Insurers, and course providers etc. are available to give information and Overall, I felt stimulated, engaged and included. For me friendly advice. the main reason for participating in things like this – I attended two workshops; the first on the importance of Research by the BACP research team. I admit I was pleasantly surprised by how engaging the talk was. At the end of it I felt inspired to rush out and start collecting data…the feeling has since worn off, but it has certainly renewed my appreciation for the importance of research (basically: no evidence = no jobs) and has encouraged me to keep up to date with studies.

The second workshop was given by the impressive Sally Ingram on working with Children and Adolescents and raised some important questions such as why these two groups, who are really very different, are always lumped

especially at the very start of my counselling career – is to feel part of something; to feel connected to likeminded people and involved in something I care about.

Whichever one I choose to attend next, I look forward to more learning, more friendly faces, and more inspiration.

Student Writing

Strangers in a Strange Land Making Sense of Feeling Different

By Michelle Oakman Jung perceived that even though in schizophrenia the material is magnified and distorted by the mental imbalance, the imagery of mythology is present. Dr Joseph Berke co-founded The Arbours Association in London in 1970. It provides residential safety, support and guidance for people undergoing a breakdown in their mental health without intrusive psychiatric intervention. Berke (1979) describes this process as one from which healing and development can emerge from psychic disintegration.

The path of individuation has specific milestones.

However our experiences even within archetypal patterns are unique. The road to fulfilment is a subjective one with the key in our own individual story. In the next section I look at the intersubjective approach as proposed

by Stolorow and Atwood (1992) in relation to painful feelings of difference that arose for me in one of my research exercises.

During the final stage of my training (2008-09) I used the group in a research exercise to tease out their sense of ‘home’. Their responses came in very literal ways, like being with friends or amidst beautiful scenery. My feeling ‘at home’ came in unexpected ways that our society would not promote as desirable. In section 6 my poem about ‘Sylvia’ tries to convey this feeling. Going to meet with her had filled me with dread, yet in our engagement I had felt whole, a kind of ‘I-Thou’ moment (Buber 1923) (1996). I elaborate on this below.

I experienced their response as a jarring mismatch, the negative side of feeling different. When I feel at home my body relaxes, I can almost hear the endorphins bubbling.

In that whirlpool of comfort I experience a sense of meaning. This has often evaded me as I frequently don’t ‘get’ the punch line society delivers. I also feel that people don’t ‘get me’. This is different from not being liked. I can have friendly contact whilst still feeling disregarded. I

realise I have often chosen to mask certain aspects of myself because I don’t trust how these will be viewed.

Past experience of my free expression is that if it does not comply with the perspective of others it will become threatening. Guntrip (1971) believed the early nourishment of validation from carers reflecting back an understanding of what the child genuinely feels and thinks is crucial in helping to build their own sense of authority in knowing what they do actually feel and think.

The research concluded in me feeling my questions had been answered in another language, not my language.

That is, nothing said resonated with me. I could feel the panic in my stomach, the shrinking in my heart as I retreated into my inner world. I understand this familiar reaction as informing me my articulation of meaning is not acceptable. As therapists our role is to interpret what may be perceived as the strange expression of others and search for the significance in all its form. What need is it trying to communicate? Winnicott (1971:17) believed when the therapist reflects back to the client what he brings to their session, he can start to feel real.

(Moustakas 1990:26).

Rogers (1951:Ch.5) emphasised the empathic understanding of another’s frame of reference is an essential condition of positive personality change.

The exercise had illuminated (Moustakas 1990:Ch.2) an acute sensitivity to my feeling that I would naturally be misunderstood because my way of operating in the world was somehow wrong. I have valued the intersubjective approach in understanding the level of alienation I can experience in this kind of situation. It proposes that the repeated patterns of intersubjective interactions with our caregivers in the developing years create rigid beliefs about our environment, and these unconsciously organize successive experiences.

(Ornstein 1974 cited in Stolorow and Atwood 1992:5556).

I often felt like an imposter in my family because like the cuckoo I couldn’t hide my difference. The wound arose, not from being different, but trying to disguise and deny it.

My mother basked in the glow of my Father’s success. In past times and contemporary cultures children would have been awed by folk lore, fairy tales and myths. In my family the tale of my father, appearing like the hero’s

journey was constantly relayed. Having been born into a family of unskilled generations, he was trained in 1940 at the age of 18 as a navigator in the R.A.F. For the next five years he regularly went on missions to bomb Germany.

My Grandmother told me she listened to the radio and heard sometimes that half of the Lancaster Bombers had been shot down. She would not know if my dad was alive until he walked back through the door. In 1945 as he struggled to adjust, my father wrote to the Prime Minister, Clement Attlee. He held him to the war time promise that once it was over, all citizens would be offered equal opportunities, having done their share to save Britain from fascism. He was given a free place on an electrical engineering course. However no grant was offered so he continued to work in a factory for its duration. In his career as an electrical engineer my father shone, escalating to higher management of a well established company.

I was immensely proud of him, but sensed early on he had paid an enormous price and was never free of the consequent conflict. This side of the story was not acknowledged in my family. The happy ending message was that a courageous young man had helped defeat the enemy. Then through determination and hard work, escaped the continuation of poverty, bringing the next generation into success and prosperity. The world was supposed to be my oyster, but resolution of his tale had not been reached. My father as a pacifist and communist had become estranged from valued contacts because of his role in the war. He believed his upper class R.A.F comrades (both demonised and ridiculed in the story) went into high ranking posts immediately after its end.

Family members always looked to him as the strong one who had all the answers. He died much younger than any of his family before him. I believe he could no longer comply and retreated, exhausted into death. In a poignant moment, alone with my Dad, he told me of his still being haunted by the post bombing scenes of Dresden, a mission he was involved in. I thus had a different version of the legend. I did identify with the Fairy Tale hero, but his vulnerability, not his conquest. I was forced into the grey rather than the black and white of the story my family knew. I was always asking awkward questions to try and make sense of my unease of the stories I was expected to swallow whole. This made me an outsider in my immediate family. I was always upsetting the status quo by highlighting the aspects they didn’t want to see. I have always found it difficult to keep questions to myself when I feel I need to get to the root of something presented to me as reality. Bettleheim (1976:7) expressed the need for a child to understand what is going on within her conscious self in order to cope with that in her unconscious. My parents held tightly their communist beliefs and this led to an atmosphere that felt like a denial of the existence of the soul. I see that as a child taking myself off to Sunday school because I was looking for something I experienced as missing, initially made my life uncomfortable. It made me odd in my family, a target for jokes that were shared with my parents’ friends, also

communist party members. I however had the courage to seek and find a different story.

My discovery gave me immense satisfaction, an adding to my inner treasure trove. In Bible study tests I always achieved the highest marks, thus earning praise from the external world. A seed had been sown that to risk being different could be enriching. However there was also a price to pay. Expression of my feelings, sad and joyful, earned me disapproval in my immediate family so I would retreat into the comforts of reading, and story writing which earned attention. My parents took what should have been my sense of achievement and made it into what they needed for themselves. In this I felt robbed. My vital supplies of nourishment went to feed my parents needs.

My mother’s desire to tell the world how wonderful she was. My father’s obsession with his social mobility into the middle classes where ones’ children could go to university. My parents were deprived of the comfort of taking for granted a sense of belonging so they always looked for home in the wrong place. Because of their insecurities they were not able to experience my sister and I as whole beings. Their tendency to select the parts that suited their idea of how we should be made true self expression painful.

(Miller 1983:57).

The theories that outline the ‘ingredients’ for a secure sense of self with the ability to self activate and explore creativity seem to be encapsulated by Buber’s concept of the ‘I-Thou’ relationship’ (1923) (1996 Buber described this as engaging in dialogue involving each others’ whole self. The relationship is not based on isolating specific qualities, but perceiving the other’s unity of being which affirms a sense of reality I so wanted to please my father whom I adored. I could understand his aspirations, but they were not mine. Again a glaring sense of the difficulty of my difference was highlighted. My mother’s friends’ children in Canada were going to medical, law school or studying architecture. I was wondering why I was here in the first place.

Mother: “ Father: “

In my struggle to stay alive I ceased to function physically and emotionally. I slept, ruminated on suicide. I looked to other ways of survival.

As a teenager I searched wildly for a chance to belong before it was too late! I dived into drug and alcohol abuse and this meant I had a common purpose with a group of people. Behaviour perceived as odd was part of the deal.

Feelings of abnormality were submerged. Substances such

as alcohol and drugs offer the unconditional and instant euphoria of an altered state of consciousness. Estes (1992:245-246) proposes that women possess an innate, instinctual self that when displayed can make her an outsider in a society that seeks to control and domesticate females. When this ‘wild self’ is starved of support, a woman may eventually embark on any activity, however toxic, just to feel alive. Jung (1961 cited on Canada Rehab 30.11.2009) wrote a letter to Bill Wilson about the human thirst for spiritual wholeness. Wilson co-founded Alcoholics Anonymous with Robert Smith. Jung stated his belief that this was the cause of addiction for those who misguidedly abuse substances in a quest to connect with the divine. He pointed to Wilson, that the Latin word for alcohol ‘spiritus’ is also Latin for the highest spiritual experience.

When I was twenty I realised the only characteristic I shared with other drug users was desperation. I realised my strategy for survival would literally kill me. This insight came after meeting a group of followers of an Indian Guru who seemed to be living a life that was worth having. The experience to be shared was through meditation and 'Satsang', a Sanskrit word meaning gathering together for the truth. As a collective we shared our feelings from the meditation. Service in the community and our sharing of the experience was encouraged. Here I felt at home because I had found a way of being that did not compromise me.

Eventually adaption to life with my children called. The need to earn money in a way I could make sense of if I were to devote forty hours a week. I trained to be a social worker. In this role I found meaning in the 'mess' of life.

Although many clients I encountered had experiences more overtly shocking than I, externally I felt we met in a mutual place of recognition. I believe the distraction of others needs dominated for a long time into my career. I had grown up needing to consider primarily, my mother’s needs in order to feel some remnant of belonging.

However beyond this was an acknowledgement of something very real in the unsanitised situations presented to me. Birth, death and inbetween primitive urges unleashed, unsupervised by the vigilance of the superego (Freud 1923) (1961). I was aware from the beginning I did not see myself as the professional over here, having to cross the divide where the client suffered all the features of a Shakespearian drama. So much of what was marked up as their 'deviance' resonated with me. Not necessarily because I was acting all those urges out, but I imagined I could because they were within me. This led me to feel fraudulent. I couldn't be a proper social worker because I was not contained or stable, as I perceived my colleagues to be. So during my social work career I learned to a degree to integrate my difference as much as I could in order to appear as if I were fitting in, but also to enjoy a sense of meaning for myself. This led to me obtaining recognition for certain activities. For example, in my childcare job my work

on life story books with children going for adoption earned me the kudos of being an ‘adoption expert’. I was given a reprieve from less rewarding monitoring tasks with families to spend more time supporting children emotionally with a huge life change. Looking back I was trying to make sense of my own knowledge gap of my family, most of whom I have had very little or no contact with because they were born and bred thousands of miles away. Thus I was able to experience an aspect of my difference as motivational to enrichment of life.

In the next section I talk about the sense of recognition, yet difference I experience in my counselling work with refugees.

I started seeing clients referred to the Asylum Seekers and Refugee project in 2007. I found I could relate to the hopelessness of individuals, experiencing themselves as outsiders as though a part of me had always been in this homeless place. However I recognised my feelings of alienation emerged from a different source. Winnicott (1971) outlined the need for an empathic response to assist the cohesion of our own sense of self and separateness. Buber (1967:17) talked about the need for conformation being uniquely human. Without this, I feel a sense of desolation sets in. If the purpose of my life wasn’t clear to my parents, how could it have meaning for me?

Many of the refugees I have met appear to have had very strong foundations. Early life having been in families that were integrated into communities that took mutual support for granted. For most of the refugees I meet, despair and loneliness are imposed externally by the wrench of having to leave home, the forced exodus to an alien environment where they are expected to fit in before they can make sense of their new surroundings.

The clients I am working with have suffered their stories not being heard in a very literal way. Immigration officers have accused them of lying about their age and their reasons for leaving behind all that is familiar and sacred. It has struck me how resiliently they hold onto their narrative and are able to articulate their reactions to devastating experiences. In examining Bowlby’s attachment theory (1988), Holmes highlights that self knowledge displayed in a coherent life story is connected with secure attachment (Holmes 1993:150). An ‘autobiographical competence’ results from and contributes to secure attachment. (Holmes 1992 cited in Holmes 1993:150). I have attended to these stories with great care each week. For everyone I see the concept of counselling/psychotherapy is a strange one. It is frequently viewed as another representation of what is different about our perceived individualistic culture.

Yet the opportunity to feel met, and take part in something where they can feel heard is recognised. Sadat, an 18 year old asylum seeker from Afghanistan told me in one of our sessions that once when in his town centre, a youth had literally spat out at him, the name ‘terrorist’.

Sadat told me he had struggled with his urge to confront the perpetrator whom he believed had no right to berate

him in this way. However he realised if a fight ensued he could lose his application for Leave to Remain in this country. The British boy, of course, had the upper hand.

His punishment, if charged would not be the death sentence Sadat feared if he returned to the conflict of his country. I have often felt to assert my entitlement would lead to my being ‘killed off’, a condemning to isolation.

Although we had reached this feeling state by different routes, I recognised instantly the feeling of a ‘lack of credit’ experienced by Sadat. Unlike him as a teenager, I was often oblivious to feeling I had any right to be treated fairly, this leading to a ‘no-man’s land’ of unexpressed fear and emptiness. For Sadat, despite his need to flee Afghanistan and enter Britain illegally, his internal view of the world is that he does belong and has the right to be treated accordingly.

Sadat displayed a secure attachment developed in a community where he and his family felt supported.

Holmes (1993:149) discusses Bowlby’s concept of the ‘core state with respect to attachment’. Bowlby saw this as basic to determining an individual’s relationships, and this is reflected in the way they feel about themselves and others. I noticed early on in our sessions how well Sadat had been able to adapt to life in this country whilst grieving the loss of his family and homeland. His need for my therapeutic intervention was to help him in managing the devastating loss of the life he knew until his mid teens rather than help him construct a more resilient self.

Bowlby highlights a study of Dutch children who had been fostered following the deportation of their parents in 1942/3. After the Second World War they were regarded as troubled emotionally, and in need of psychological treatment. The conclusion was that those who had experienced positive family relationships before their separation were more able to adjust (Unnamed group of psychiatrists: no date given cited in Bowlby 1970:51-52).

Bowlby emphasises that a range of studies observing war orphans and refugees from that period found that the disturbance in these individuals were caused not only by the atrocities of conflict, but also the rupture of family ties.

Kohut’s view that selfobject need remains throughout life (1971) appears to echo this. He proposed we all share a need to feel met by another however strong our foundations may be.

An important part of the therapeutic work with refugees is to focus on positive memories of home. The freedom of societies that valued community contact, the sharing of religious and traditional ceremonies, an unfolding of events at a speed whereby events can be processed. In sharing this experience I start to feel ‘at home’, recognising values that make sense to me. I also see they are people who have held the shadow for others in their country of origin, and also when they request asylum in Britain. When a family or society deny an individual’s story, overwhelming feelings of alienation and futility can be ignited. A significant number of these clients will reach into their cultural heritage of myth and folklore to try and make sense of not only their traumatic experiences, but also everyday life. Ramesh, a Sri Lankan man I used to see, talked of different months having personal characteristics.

In his village, April, the month the monsoon rain was likely to cease was related to Lord Vishnu, who when in fish form was the saviour of Saint Vaivaswata. I knew that Vishnu is regarded by Hindus as a god of preservation and protection so understood the strength of faith his community invested in believing that Vishnu would restore the land; allowing the people to continue in a way whereby they could stay safe and reap a healthy crop.

When I explored with him, the story of Vishnu rescuing Saint Vaivaswata, I realised it was a lot like the Biblical story of Noah. I felt the excitement of connection through the archetypal tale uniting us in our different cultures. We could then understand the meaning of the tale together in relation to his life experience.

I started off holding the Shadow (Jung 1938) for my family, and then in my work.

(Bowlby 1970:50).

Sadat, even in profound distress has had the survival skills to reach out to others for support and comfort. A paediatrician and pioneer of psychoanalysis, Benedek (1938:1956 cited in Bowlby 1998:409) stresses that an individual’s confidence in the existence of helping figures emerges from continual rewarding experiences with their mother during developing years. Fleming, an object relations theorist, studied adult patients who had suffered bereavement in childhood or adolescence. She supported this view, and asserted that:

(Fleming 1972 cited in Holmes 1993:409).

(Oakman 2008:46).

The situations presented to me as a social worker resonated within. The sense of something real in their painful honesty. When I met with clients we knew the issues were tough, and were aware the rest of the world didn’t want to see. It felt like a kind of refuse collection for society’s anguish and injustice. My role allowed and encouraged me to acknowledge the other’s vulnerability and strength in which act I experienced, and started to

integrate my own. My reflection on how I had often felt drawn to the most marginalised in society was the start of understanding the role of my daimon, and discuss this in the next section.

I am really interested in the concept of Daimons. The ancient Greeks believed them to be spirits dwelling within the human psyche exerting a powerful force upon personality and actions in a creative and destructive way.

The original understanding of the Daimon was that they each accompanied an individual as a guide representing the spiritual makeup of a person. The ancient Greeks understood the Daimon as the bridge between two worlds, communicating the will of the Gods to humans and back again. My interest in the concept of the Daimonic has been inspired by those powerful feelings of ‘being at home’. The resonance with a situation or set of circumstances whereby a part of oneself is deeply moved.

However arduous it may be to stay, the need to dive into that ‘relational home’ (Stolorow 2007) becomes imperative.

The way I managed my lack of trust in my mother as a child was to be always on the alert, to study her expressions, body language, and tone of voice amongst other external flashpoints. This developed a finely tuned ability to interpret signals from others. To read their change of mood, their vulnerability to gauge the emotional temperature when I enter a room. This skill, originally arising from a way of coping with an environment I perceived as threatening, is now an invaluable tool in my training as a psychotherapist. James Hillman, a Jungian analyst wrote about the Daimon’s reminders manifesting in many ways to protect and motivate, ‘

expectations yet wanting to go where I felt real. There were often the signs of my psyche trying to achieve balance when put myself in situations that pulled me away from this. The acknowledging of the activity of my psyche independently of my ego. Jung wrote about the idea of Daimons as a way of illustrating the nature and functioning of the human psyche.

(Ibid: 1966:68).

I had frequently glimpsed something that could enrich my life, but chose to remain in a web of distraction until my external world came crashing down around me. The web in tatters, I turned to face my own darkness. Here, I believe, dialogue with my Daimon began. In (Campbell 1993:4), I allowed a transformational journey to begin. ‘Daimonic’ comes from the Latin, ‘Daiomai’ which means to divide.

In psychological terms the division refers to unconscious material emerging into the conscious world, which can seem startlingly uncharacteristic of the usually ego controlled person. Moore (2004:17) writes about . I feel that when I started to surrender to the darkness, that is to face and stay with feelings kept at bay for most of my life, I could start to acknowledge the hidden parts of myself. An engagement with the difficulty and the empowerment of my Daimon began. My despair drove me to psychotherapy to find a different way of being. On this path I recognize my ability to help others in transformation. Hillman in an interview with Scott London (London: 2009) described the first step toward understanding one’s calling.

(Ibid 1996:39).

(Hillman 2009).

Estes (1992) sees the wild self as trying through all manner of symptoms to highlight the individual to the psychic danger they are in.

(Ibid 1992:246).

Hillman (1993) goes on to say aptitude can reveal calling, but dysfunction can also be a strong indicator. Symptoms may manifest as a way of coping with compromise. The trying to adjust when calling is powerful and we try to deny this inner force. Jung (1966) spoke of the Daimon as a spirit with a degree of autonomy. He was only too aware of its’ powerful nature and thus the need to remain in communication. To do this, Jung believed, is to search deep within ourselves to become acquainted with our innermost desires. What we find there may go against our cultural and family conditioning, and our ideas about ourselves. I struggled for years in trying to meet others

The child who always wanted to look inwards, and had to express the shadow of a situation, now makes sense of the pain of not fitting in. I see by navigating my own stormy journey, I can aid others in their transitional journeys.

There is a joy for me in sharing this with my clients. I can also share this with my own 18 year old self who went through pregnancy and child birth without the support of my parents. What I have yearned for, I can give to others, but only after learning to receive it for myself. As child whilst I was watchful, I wasn’t joining in. Thus standing out as the ‘odd one’. This aspect of my childhood instilled a sense of difference. However as I was growing up I noticed people, often strangers such as fellow bus passengers, confiding in me. It was as though they were attracted to my stillness, my refuge for studying the world.

My responses to them elicited validating feedback which

gave me a feeling of belonging and a lighting of the way in a confusing world.

In a therapy session I expressed feeling anxious about finishing my dissertation. My tutor’s words haunted me ‘you need to prove you know’. The concept of daimonic power helped me make sense of my lifelong feeling, at times, of just ‘knowing’, yet struggling to articulate why.

M: “

T: “ M: “

M: “

T: “ M

T: “

y

M

T: This refers to my longstanding expressed sense of what can happen to me when I have tried asserting myself in the past. A disapproving reaction could feel like the end of the world. My stomach would start falling away as I began to panic about losing my job, being expelled from school.

The latter actually happened. I was viewed as a ‘problem child’ and referred to a psychologist.

M: “

T: “

My understanding of the sense of difference I have experienced in myself and those discussed in my dissertation is that it arises from a wounding. For some the blows were struck much earlier in life. I have tried to show, through a number of studies how this can affect the nature of feeling different. As I dug deeper into my story, I noticed how I had responded to ‘symptoms’ of my wound. These were the psychic irritants that pushed me into actions that despite the difficulty they caused had felt compelling. I can see now that when I tried to compromise my difference, I started to go in the wrong direction which caused not only pain, but a kind of stifling of myself, and what I need to do to feel alive. Facing my difference has highlighted for me how I can help others to make sense of theirs. I wanted to show through the work of Jung, Campbell, Hillman, Bettleheim and Moore how archetypal material and the use of fantasy, and imagination can be used to bring complex unconscious processes into awareness. I also wanted to demonstrate how working with people from other cultures had stimulated new ways of working with others to achieve this.

In discussing the work of Laing, Jung and Berke I aimed to emphasize that even when difference appears in society to be profound, that psychic turbulence can lead to balance and wisdom. In illuminating my past and current life I wanted to show that feelings of connection with others, however apparently different have helped me understand how and where I can belong. In examining the theories that can cause feelings of alienation, I have attempted to illustrate that social, political, cultural and generational features will always play their part in human development in a beneficial way, but can also be symptoms of wounds that have not healed. The ethnic cleansing that has devastated previously harmonious communities is an example of human beings not integrating or even trying to understand their own shadow. With Gerhardt’s work, I wanted to illustrate how unresolved pain and need can create an abusive presence in the body which can exacerbate feelings of difference through the inability to manage stress and difficult feelings.

Working towards embracing one’s true self, the path of individuation, requires enormous energy and courage.

Reflection on my own story shows me how hard it is not to embark on that route. There is a beauty in the process of acknowledging this which I have also witnessed with my clients. When awareness is open we know this journey, inspired by loneliness and pain will change the landscape of our world inside and out. We will never experience them in the same way. I think I will always feel different because of my emotional and family legacy. Because of my journey, I can see this as my ally. A companion who will always encourage me to explore and find the treasure in my difference.

Erika Wiesenmueller-Potter

In “Das Glasperlenspiel” there are a number of poems towards the end of the narrative, that are attributed to the “Legacy” of the fictitious protagonist, the “Magister Ludi”, and one of them is entitled “Stufen”, “Stages”. I think most writers have a piece of writing which somehow sums up and crystallizes their thinking and is particularly meaningful for them. For me, the poem “Stages” is that special one for Herman Hesse, presented below.

Herman Hesse

As I was holidaying over the border in Italy last summer I took the opportunity to make a day trip to visit the mountain village of Montagnola above lake Lugano, where German born writer, poet and Nobel Prize winner Hermann Hesse (1877-1962) lived for the last 42 years of his life and where the museum dedicated to his life and work was running a series of exhibitions and readings in his memory, on the fiftieth anniversary of his death.

I had read almost all of Hesse’s works of fiction in my late teens and early twenties, but not read anything by him since. To remind myself of his writings I read again “Das Glasperlenspiel” (1943), one of his last works of fiction and one of his longest, which took him almost ten years to write.

Thereafter, he wrote much but mainly reflections, letters and poetry, as well as articles for newspapers and magazines. Most of his time though was dedicated to painting and to tending his garden.

As every flower fades and as all youth Departs, so life at every stage, So every virtue, so our grasp of truth, Blooms in its day and may not last forever.

Since life may summon us at every age Be ready, heart, for parting, new endeavour, Be ready bravely and without remorse To find new light that old ties cannot give.

In all beginnings dwells a magic force For guarding us and helping us to live.

Serenely let us move to distant places And let no sentiments of home detain us.

The Cosmic Spirit seeks not to restrain us But lifts us stage by stage to wider spaces.

If we accept a home of our own making, Familiar habit makes for indolence.

We must prepare for parting and for leave-taking Or else remain the slaves of permanence.

Even the hour of our death may send Us speeding on to fresh and newer spaces, And life may summon us to newer races.

So be it, heart: bid farewell without end.

A workshop led by Deborah Cartwright (BA Hons) Creative Arts, Dip Couns BCPC.

The workshop is aimed at graduates wishing to explore and develop their creativity in a group setting (approx 12); focusing on a transitional object in the form of a doll or mandala, intended to facilitate an appreciation of the value and importance of identifying the feelings and needs of the inner child, as well as engaging with the creative process itself. , though graduates may of course bring particular items they may wish to include or use in their work. Eg ribbons, buttons, textiles, gems etc. No previous experience is required, just a willingness to participate. mid-morning but graduates are asked to There will be short informal group discussion afterwards to reflect upon the workshop and individuals’ responses to their day of creativity.

about the workshop or if you have any questions contact: Deb Cartwright on 07761567783 or debcartwright@me.com. please send a cheque for £40 payable to BCPCA to: Richard Atkinson, 28 Box Crescent, Minchinhampton, Stroud, GLOS, GL6 9DJ

We are pleased to announce that there is a new therapy space available in Bath for trainee practitioners and qualified professionals, as well as small groups.

Widcombe Therapy Rooms is run by a BCPC student and a holistic practitioner to provide space and support for those who need to run practices outside of their homes, particularly those starting out in practice. Just off the high street in Widcombe, we offer a very quiet secluded space that is close to the train and bus stations yet also offers on-street parking. The space is light and peaceful; two interconnected rooms with facilities attached.

We are a small business and we want to help fellow students into starting practice, so we are currently offering a special package which gives you affordable access to room space, a web presence and ongoing support, as we know how difficult it can be at first.

For more established psychotherapists and counsellors we offer tailored room packages to suit, and the space is also suitable for groups of up to eight.

We’d really like to meet and support fellow BCPCers so please do get in touch if we can help you or if you’d just like to have a look. www.therapyroombath.co.uk Kate 07971 814268 Rosie 07867 784872 bookings@therapyroombath.co.uk

UKCP reg Gestalt Psychotherapist and Family Constellations Practitioner Barbara Morgan is offering a two year training in Family Constellations just outside Frome starting June 2013.

Please email her for further details: the knowingfield@gmail.com or visit her website www.cominghome.org.uk

Talking About Sex in the consulting room 1 day CPD workshop with David Slattery ‘Many of the men and women who consulted me over the years came with sexual concerns, which eventually were revealed as containers of the central mysteries of the person’s life.’ Thomas Moore (The Soul of Sex) This workshop is for counsellors and therapists working with individuals and/or couples who want to develop their ability to ‘be’ with clients when talking about their sexual lives. Through experiential exercises, biographical work, case examples and demonstration we will consider together: What sex is, what function/meaning it can have, dynamics of power (control and surrender), sexual fantasies and most importantly how to talk about all this!

Venue: The West Wing, Nr Stroud.

Date: 22nd November 2013 Time: 10am to 4pm Cost: £80 qualified/£50 students (includes lunch by David Frost) Booking: www.relational-psychotherapy.co.uk

Diploma Course

Three stage modular training is for counsellors and psychotherapists (either qualified or in the later stages of training) who are interested in developing their practice by training in ‘relational couples therapy’. : : :

‘Learning to Practice’ for those new to couples work.

‘Working with Couples’ if you have some experience/training in couples work but would like some more support/resourcing of your practice.

‘Advanced Practice’ if you have over 250 hrs of practice and would like an opportunity to consolidate/develop your practice in an experienced group.

David Slattery West Wing, Nr Stroud 01453 832215 www.relational-psychotherapy.co.uk

Rich is especially interested in the therapeutic relationship as the nexus for healing, and views the therapist’s presence as an especially unique and challenging medium for exploring the relational and experiential dimensions of therapy. Rich brings a different emphasis each year to his workshops.

He has been profoundly influenced by Martin Buber’s philosophy of dialogue and Erving & Miriam Polster’s creative clinical work. He is author of and co-author with Lynne Jacobs of

Liz Holloway Lantern Cottage, 18, Elcombe, Swindon SN4 9QL Tel: 01793 845909 Email: lanternliz@aol.com

Read about this in the official society's site, http://www.stat.org.uk, and at my website coordinate-align.me.uk.

A basic course of an introductory session plus six standard sessions can be purchased at an advance block price of £233.00. Indeed, give a gift to a loved one! The skills developed last a lifetime.

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Personal consultation and tailored design Hosting and maintenance for a year Submission to Google and Yahoo Help with content Multiple e-mail addresses and webmail

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