13 minute read
Word from Dad
SLIMY PUMPKIN STRANDS
I turned to James. “Do you want a happy pumpkin or a scary one?”
“Um, happy.” James never hesitated.
I scraped the inside of the pumpkin, cut the face and carved the final details. A jacko’-lantern with a cheerful demeanor.
“How about you, Ian?” I already knew the answer, but they both needed the question as part of the Halloween ritual. “Do you want a scary one or a happy one?”
Ian drew out the word in wavering tones. “Sca-aaa-rrr-yyy.”
I stuck my arm into the second pumpkin and applied a fresh layer of slimy, pumpkin threads to my already sticky arm. The feeling isn’t pleasant, but I know why I’ve endured it for more than 40 Halloweens.
I didn’t carve my first pumpkin until after I was married, and I did almost everything wrong. The knife was too big, I nearly made the lid wrong and I had nothing to scrape all the inside fibers. When I finally carved the face, it was way too small.
I persevered and overcame my rookie ineptitude. I sat Jack out on the air conditioner of our second-floor apartment balcony, easily visible from the distant road. But, the damp, windy night didn’t cooperate, and I had to return several times to relight the candle. Each time, my frustration increased.
I stepped out one more time to relight the candle, but something happened. Just before I closed the door, I heard two pairs of young feet cutting through the apartment grounds. And I heard voices.
“Hey, look at that pumpkin.”
“Cool!”
My face lit up like the pumpkin’s. Oh, yeah. Forty years? All worthwhile.
I lit the two finished pumpkins, then turned to the boys. “Hit the lights.”
The candles grew brighter. The faces glowed, orange and gold.
James and Ian spoke in unison. “Cool!”
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Breast Cancer Awareness
With so many women facing breast cancer, understanding your risk is key
With one in eight women facing breast cancer sometime during her life, you almost certainly know someone who has been impacted personally by the disease. Local mom Meagan Ingold is one of these women, and as October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it’s the perfect time to stay informed and learn from the stories of survivors and insights of doctors.
Discovering cancer while breastfeeding
When Ingold was pregnant with her second son in 2016, she thought she was feeling her milk ducts coming in early, so she mentioned it to her physician. Her doctor said that did not seem right and recommended getting imaging to check things out. Ingold’s imaging came back normal at that time, so she focused on her pregnancy and, subsequently, her son’s birth and breastfeeding.
Yet as Ingold continued to feed her son, things still didn’t feel right. She even noticed some visible lumps. After a time, she ended up acting as her own advocate, calling back radiology herself to request more imaging. This time, the imaging showed the problem. At the age of 30, she had the early stages of breast cancer. A double mastectomy followed, but thanks to early detection and quick action, she is healthy today.
Ingold’s message to other women is to be aware of your body even if you are not at a time in life when mammograms or other screenings are recommended, and do not think that if you are nursing that you cannot get breast cancer.
“Just listen to your body,” she says. “If something feels off or your body is telling you something is off, listen to that thought and get it checked out.”
Understanding your risk
The good news of Ingold’s story is that early detection and early action can result in favorable and healthy outcomes.
Dr. Onalisa Winblad, division director of breast imaging in the department of radiology at the University of Kansas Cancer Center, said by the time women are 30 years old, they should have a formal breast cancer risk assessment to determine their personal risk and whether they would benefit from early screening. She said even average-risk women should begin getting mammograms by the age of 40.
Some of the most common risk factors for breast cancer include a family history of the disease, dense breast tissue, obesity, smoking and previous chest radiation, Winblad says. Limiting alcohol and maintaining an appropriate weight can help reduce risk as well. As Ingold’s story also proves, knowing your breasts and recognizing when something is abnormal is also important.
Winblad says that although very common, dense breast tissue can sometimes makes finding cancer on a mammogram more difficult. As a result, health care providers often recommend additional screenings such as ultrasounds or MRIs for women with such tissue. She says they notify women who have dense breast tissue after having a mammogram and provide information about additional screenings.
Someone with a family history of breast cancer should begin discussions with their doctor about when they should start screening and what types of screening they should receive, advises Winblad. She says those women might need a breast MRI in addition to a traditional mammogram and might need to get genetic testing as well.
Despite the growing awareness risk factors play in breast cancer, Winblad says most women who are diagnosed with breast cancer actually do not have any significant risk factors. And, surprisingly, other women who do have risk factors will never develop cancer.
“Even if you don’t have any family history or any risk factors, you still have a risk,” Winblad says. “That’s why screening is so important.”
Not only does screening save lives, but it can also help reduce the severity and length of treatment necessary if cancer is detected.
Winblad says half of all fatal breast cancer diagnoses occur before the age of 50. She also says there is more data showing minority populations are diagnosed with cancer at a younger age and have a worse prognosis. All these facts make having a formal risk assessment with a doctor important.
Although some women might feel apprehensive at the thought of having a mammogram, Winblad provides assurance it is a simple and easy test. “Most patients don’t have any complaints of discomfort during a mammogram at all,” the doctor says. “We know when we find breast cancers early, they are treatable.”
Ingold also emphasized that insurance should never be a reason to delay getting a screening. If screening is necessary, but insurance says you are too young for such, don’t hesitate to challenge them.
Allison Gibeson is a Lee’s Summit writer and mom.
As always, please consult your health care provider with any questions or concerns. What are common risk factors for breast cancer?
• A family history of breast cancer • Genetic mutations such as BRCA1 and BRCA2
• Early menstruation (before age 12) • Late menopause (after 55) • Dense breast tissue
• Obesity • Smoking • Race (Breast cancer is more common in Caucasian women)
• Previous chest radiation
SOURCE:
National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc. and NationalBreastCancer.org.
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PICTUREPERFECT
It’s that time of year again when the seasons are changing, and the holidays are looming—which also means it’s the perfect time to get family photos taken! I have asked for parents’ input and advice from some mothers who are photographers on how to obtain those picture perfect moments. I have a few tidbits to add gleaned from my side hustle as a family photographer for the past few years, too.
First of all, plan ahead. This is pretty obvious, but there’s a lot to consider when having family photos taken, and this is not something you want to do in a stressed out rush. First, you need to find a photographer who will both work for your family’s style and budget and who has availability. Ask your friends or neighbors who they recommend and do some research to see whether any of those professionals will work well for your family’s needs. There are numerous types of photographers with a wide range of styles and investment options. If you have high expectations and want a specific editing style, make sure you choose a photographer who can deliver that quality to you. If you would rather have some simple photos taken mostly for holiday cards, consider using an amateur photographer who’s doing photography as a side hustle or a small business. Perhaps your partner doesn’t see the point in having photos taken every year, so maybe on the years in between, you opt for booking a quick mini session for less, just to have a couple of photos to document your family during this year.
Once you’ve decided on your photographer, you’ll need to choose a date and time that will work for both you and the photographer. Look ahead at your family calendar and have a few dates available to work with your photographer’s availability, as well as any weather cancellations that may pop up. Also, consider what you would like your family to wear, as well as what background you would like this year. If you have in mind a wooded background with your family wearing cozy sweaters, plan your session when it’s cooler out so that your group is as comfortable as possible. The opposite is true too. If you envision summer dresses in front of a lake, plan accordingly or expect your children to smile while freezing. Once you’ve decided on an overall feel, check with your photographer about choosing a location. You can go with your photographer’s ideas or ask about some locations that mean something to you and your family or that you would like to display in your home. If your family loves to spend time at the lake, consider capturing that memory with your family in a photo. If you have had prairie backgrounds over the past few years, consider changing things up with an urban, downtown or wooded background. Stacy Marvin, mother of two and owner of Stacy Marvin Photography, says, “There are so many great backdrops in the Kansas City metro, from gorgeous trees, fields and even urban areas to get just the type of photos that you are looking for.”
After the date, location and overall idea are nailed down, it’s time to choose your family’s wardrobe—well in advance. Attire can be simple if you stick to a few solid colors and mix and match those few colors among your family members. Think about where you plan to display these photos and whether they will go well in your living room, for example.
Marvin says, “I always try to let my clients know that they should pick a couple of clothing colors that complement each other. Pinterest is a great place to look for ideas! Also, avoid any clothes with writing, as they distract from the people in the photograph!”
One of the biggest things to consider when scheduling a photo session is timing. Many photographers love golden
hour shoots when the sun is setting and everything and everyone looks magical. But this isn’t always feasible with complicated work and kid schedules. Think ahead and know your family. If your partner is going to have to leave work early and fight traffic to be at a photo shoot he may not find as important as you, he might not be in the best mood, and that can affect the whole atmosphere of the session. Instead, consider everyone’s schedule and offer family members a few different options, so they can choose the one that will work best for them and ensure you have happy campers all around. As for kids, if you know your little one takes 30 minutes to become herself after naptime, don’t plan to whisk her from her dreams straight to a photoshoot with a stranger. If your children melt during witching hour, maybe golden hour light isn’t worth it this year. Plan on a pretty shaded area during the day. Likewise, if your child rises with the sun, early morning light can be very comparable to golden hour light. Run with it! Then everyone will be fresh, and maybe you can go out for breakfast afterwards to celebrate getting that checked off the list before eggs are served.
Speaking of that, rewards work wonders. Give your family some incentive to have their photos taken by planning on a special outing after the session. Whether it’s going out for dinner or ice cream or even getting the kids a happy meal at McDonald’s, a celebration can help make this an annual happy experience for your family.
Another tip is to let the photographer do her job. A parent always wants the children to smile and to end up with that sought-after perfect picture, but trust your photographer. It’s her job. Your professional should know what she’s doing and will get some great shots if you trust the process. This means not yelling at your kids or family or standing behind jumping and being loud to get your kids to “look and smile!” These interventions create a stressful environment for all involved and can lead to fake smiles. Remember, if you asked for referrals and did your own research, you should feel confident in your choice of a photographer and should be able to trust that you will get what you planned for.
Also keep in mind that your attitude goes a long way and that others will feed off your outlook. I always say the parent in charge of getting everyone prepared for a photo session has the hardest job, so plan ahead as much as possible to keep scrambling to a minimum. Play some fun music, talk about your fun plans afterward and play along with the photographer. Many photographers like to use prompts and have you do random silly things to capture real smiles or because they see a shot that non-photographers might not. Trust them and enjoy the experience!
Finally, enjoy those photos! Order those holiday cards to showcase your beautiful family on festive greetings to your family and friends. But don’t stop there. Order new prints for your home and maybe even some gifts for family. Again, this is about capturing memories of and for your family because, sadly, this year only happens once, so embrace your family’s unique personality..
Stephanie Loux is the mother of Layla, 11, Mason, 9, and Slade, 6, as well as a photographer at SaLoux Photography. She has lots of experience with family photography and, even if she’s stressing about her kids and dogs for her own photos, it’s always worth it in the end.
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