Kavanah: A Shmira-Inspired Resource by Kavod v'Nichum

KAVANAH: A SHMIRA-INSPIRED RESOURCE

Kavanah: A Shmira-Inspired Resource Kavanah is the Hebrew word for intention and it most often refers to the intention we dedicate to prayer. Kavanah is a heart-centered, mindful focus. With hearts that are broken for the many lives lost beginning on October 7th, we arrive here to honor each person, each soul. In Jewish tradition, one of the rituals at the time of death is Shmira, the ritual of watching over and sitting with the body and soul of the deceased. From the time of death until burial, we stay with the deceased. In many communities, this is one of the core functions of the Chevra Kadisha, the sacred community of volunteers who provide care and comfort throughout the end-of-life continuum. Shmira is a ritual for Jewish souls. As we write this, we acknowledge the thousands of innocent Israeli and Palestinian lives that have ended in violence. This ritual guide, inspired by the intention of Shmira, was created as a way to remember and honor our Jewish siblings who have been killed in the horrific attack on October 7th, and in the days since. Today, we may all feel like part of the Chevra Kadisha, and we are here with the holy intention to honor and mourn the lives taken in Israel. In keeping with our tradition, we have created a ceremony inspired by Shmira to honor each individual with candlelight, prayers, and words of remembrance and reflection. This resource can be used by an individual or as part of a group gathering. It can be engaged with its entirety or as a “Shmira box”; a selection of readings and rituals to choose from to create a resonant and meaningful space. We also invite you to share this with loved ones, your Chevra Kadisha, and your community.

Gathering Items The name of the person to whom you are dedicating Kavanah This packet A candle: traditionally a memorial, yahrtzeit, candle would be lit. Any candle that you have on hand will do. Matches or lighter Cup of water and an empty bowl: this does not need to be a lot of water. You will be pouring water over your fingertips and hands as you close the space. Towel for drying your hands Something to write on and with

Creating Space We invite you to create two spaces: a physical space and a heart space. Your physical space should be somewhere that is comfortable and free from distractions and interruptions if possible. If it supports your presence, you might silence technology for the next 20 minutes. Do what is needed to open and prepare your heart space. As you begin, pause to take several deep breaths. Drop your shoulders, unclench your jaw, and lower your tongue from the roof of your mouth. We are carrying so much with us. Set it aside to be as present and focused as you can be for the next 20 minutes.

Lighting the Candle Strike a match, make a flame. Say: I light this candle to bring peace to the soul of [name of the deceased] Light the candle.

Shema During our times of pain and suffering, when we feel hopeless and separated, we remind ourselves that there is divine presence in the world; all who are living and dead are connected by a oneness. ‫ְׁש ַמ ע ִיְׂש ָר ֵא ל ְיהָוה ֱא ֹלֵה ינּו ְיהָוה ֶא ָֽחד‬ Shema yisrael, adonai eloheinu, adonai echad Hear, O’ Israel, the Adonai is our God, Adonai is One This verse is followed by one line of text that is traditionally recited in an undertone: ‫ָּב רּוְך ֵׁש ם ְּכ בֹוד ַמ ְל כּותֹו ְל עֹוָל ם ָוֶע ד‬ Baruch shem kavod malchuto l’olam va’ed Blessed is The Name of Their glorious kingdom forever and ever

El Maleh Rachamim This prayer, whose name translates to “God full of Compassion”, is a prayer for the deceased. It is often recited at the graveside during burial, when visiting a grave, on a yahrtzeit (the anniversary of a death), and during the communal Yizkor services, which include prayers of remembrance, that are offered four times a year. We recite this prayer as a plea that the soul of the deceased should rest peacefully for eternity, a prayer made even more powerful and important knowing that the deceased’s departure from this world was violent and before their time. Hebrew: ‫ ַה ְמ ֵצ א ְמ נּוָח ה ְנכֹוָנה ַע ל ַּכְנֵפ י ַה ְּׁש ִכ יָנה ְּב ַמ ֲעַל ת‬,‫ֵא ל ָמ ֵלא ַר ֲח ִמ ים ׁש ֹוֵכן ַּב ְּמ רֹוִמ ים‬ ‫ְק דֹוִׁש ים ּוְט הֹוִר ים ְּכ ֹזַה ר ָה ָר ִק יַע ַמ ְזִה יִר ים ֶא ת ִנְׁש ַמ ת‬ [name of the deceased] ‫ ָא ָּנא ַּב ַע ל ָה ַר ֲח ִמ ים ַיְס ִּת יֵר הּו ְּב ֵס ֶת ר ְּכ ָנָפ יו‬.‫ֶׁש ָה ַל ְך ְל עֹוָל מֹו ְּב ַגן ֵע ֶד ן ְּת ֵה א ְמ נּוָח תֹו‬ .‫ ְוָינּוַח ַע ל ִמ ְׁש ָּכבֹו ְּב ָׁש לֹום‬,‫ ְיָי הּוא ַנֲח ָל תֹו‬.‫ ְוִיְצ רֹור ִּב ְצ רֹור ַה ַח ִּיים ֶא ת ִנְׁש ָמ תֹו‬,‫ְל עֹוָל ִמ ים‬ ‫ְוֹנאַמ ר ָא ֵמ ן‬

El Maleh Rachamim Transliterated: El Maleh Rakhamim, shokhein bamoromim, hamtzei menukhah al kanfei hashekhinah b’ma’alot kedoshim u’tehorim k’zohar harakiyah mazhirim et nishmat [name of the deceased] shehalakh l’olamo b’gan eden t’hei menuchato. Ana ba’al harakhamim yastireihu b’seiter k’nafav l’olamim vitzror b’tzror hayim et nishmato. Adonai hu nakhalato, v’yanukhu al mishkavo b’shalom. V’nomar amen. Translated: God who is full of mercy and dwells on high, provide a true rest on the wings of the Divine Presence amongst the holy and pure ones who shine as brightly as the brilliance of the sky to the soul of [name of deceased] who has gone on to their eternity, the Garden of Eden will be their resting place. We beseech the Merciful One to shade them forever with divine wings, and to bind their soul up in the bonds of life. The Lord is their heritage, and they shall rest peacefully on her bed. And let us say, Amen.

Psalms Commonly, Psalms are read when sitting Shmira. Psalms are an ancient book of poetic prayers. It is thought that reciting Psalms on behalf of the deceased provides comfort to the soul. Through many of these poems, we explore pain, loss, and hope.

Psalm 23: In the darkest valley Hebrew: .‫ ֹלא ֶא ְח ָס ר‬,‫ ְיהָוה ֹרִע י‬:‫ִמ ְזמֹור ְל ָד ִוד‬ .‫ֵמ י ְמ ֻנחֹות ְיַנֲה ֵלִני‬-‫ ַיְר ִּב יֵצ ִני; ַע ל‬,‫ִּב ְנאֹות ֶּד ֶׁש א‬ .‫ ְל ַמ ַע ן ְׁש מֹו‬,‫ֶצ ֶד ק‬-‫ַנְפ ִׁש י ְיׁש ֹוֵב ב; ַיְנֵח ִני ְב ַמ ְע ְּגֵלי‬ ;‫ַא ָּת ה ִע ָּמ ִד י‬-‫ ִּכ י‬--‫ִא יָר א ָר ע‬-‫ ֹלא‬,‫ֵא ֵל ְך ְּב ֵגיא ַצ ְל ָמ ֶות‬-‫ַּגם ִּכ י‬ .‫ ֵה ָּמ ה ְיַנֲח ֻמ ִני‬, ‫ִׁש ְב ְט ָך ּוִמ ְׁש ַע ְנֶּת ָך‬ ;‫ ֶנֶגד ֹצְר ָר י‬--‫ ֻׁש ְל ָח ן‬,‫ַּת ֲעֹרְך ְל ָפ ַני‬ .‫ ּכ ֹוִס י ְר ָוָיה‬,‫ִּד ַּׁש ְנָּת ַב ֶּׁש ֶמ ן ֹראִׁש י‬ ;‫ְיֵמ י ַח ָּיי‬-‫ ָּכל‬--‫ טֹוב ָוֶח ֶס ד ִיְר ְּד פּוִני‬, ‫ַא ְך‬ .‫ ְל ֹאֶר ְך ָיִמ ים‬,‫ְיהָוה‬-‫ְוַׁש ְב ִּת י ְּב ֵב ית‬ Transliterated: Mizmor l'David. Adonoy ro-i, lo echsar. Bin-ot desheh yarbitzayni, al may m'nuchot y'nahalayni. Nafshi y'shovayv, yanchayni v'ma-g'lay tzedek l'ma-an sh'mo. Gam ki aylaych b'gay tzalmaves lo ira ra ki atah imadi, shivt'cha umish-antecha, haymah y'nachamuni. Ta-aroch l'fanai shulchan, neged tzor'roy, dishantah vashemen roshi, kosi r'vayah. Ach tov vachesed yird'funi kol y'may chayoy, v'shavti b'vayt Adonoy l'orecha yamim.

Psalm 23: In the Darkest Valley Translated: A psalm of David. I want for nothing, for Adonai is my shepherd: it is God who lets me lie down in pastures of grass and who leads me to calm waters to restore my spirit, who walks me in level pastures as befits a shepherd of sound reputation. Even though I must sometimes pass through dark valleys, I fear no harm for You are with me; indeed, Your crook and Your walking stick are sources of constant comfort for me. You set a table for me in the presence of my enemies; You have anointed my head with so much fine oil that I feel like an overflowing cup. Nothing but goodness and mercy pursue me all the days of my life; indeed, I feel certain that I shall dwell in the House of Adonai for days without end. -Translation from My Jewish Learning

Psalm 121: Prayer for Protection Hebrew: ‫ִׁש יר ַל ַּמ ֲעלֹות ֶא ָּׂש א ֵע יַני ֶא ל־ֶה ָה ִר ים ֵמ ַא ִין ָיֹבא ֶע ְזִר י‬: ‫ֶע ְזִר י ֵמ ִע ם ְיֹהָוה ֹעֵׂש ה ָׁש ַמ ִים ָוָא ֶר ץ‬: ‫ַא ל־ִיֵּת ן ַל ּמ ֹוט ַר ְגֶל ָך ַא ל־ָינּום ֹׁשְמ ֶר ָך‬: ‫ִה ֵּנה ֹלא ָינּום ְוֹלא ִייָׁש ן ׁש ֹוֵמ ר ִיְׂש ָר ֵא ל‬: ‫ְיֹהָוה ֹׁשְמ ֶר ָך ְיֹהָוה ִצ ְּל ָך ַע ל־ַיד ְיִמ יֶנ ָך‬: ‫יֹוָמ ם ַה ֶּׁש ֶמ ׁש ֹלא־ַיֶּכָּכה ְוָיֵר ַח ַּב ָּל ְיָל ה‬: ‫ְיֹהָוה ִיְׁש ָמ ְר ָך ִמ ָּכל־ָר ע ִיְׁש ֹמר ֶא ת־ַנְפ ֶׁש ָך‬: ‫ְיֹהָוה ִיְׁש ָמ ר־ֵצ אְת ָך ּובֹוֶא ָך ֵמ ַע ָּת ה ְוַע ד־עֹוָל ם‬: Transliterated: Shir lamaaalot esay aynai el hehareem may-ayin ya-vo ez-ree ez'ri meim Adonai oseh shamayim va’aretz alyi-y’ten lamot raglekha, al-ynum shomrekha hineh lo yanum v'lo yishan shomer yisrael Adonai shomrekha, Adonai tslakhah al-yad yemeennekha yomam hashemesh lo yalekha, vayarayakh balayla Adonai yishmotkha mikolra, yishmor et nafshekha Adonai yishmor tzeitkha u’voekha meatah v’ad olam.

Psalm 121: Prayer for Protection Translated: A song of ascendings: I will raise my eyes up to the mountains: From where will come my help? My help is from the realm of Adonai, Maker of heaven and earth. God will not allow your foot to slip: your Sentinel will not doze; Behold, the Sentinel of Israel Does not doze and does not sleep. Adonai is your sentinel, Adonai is Your shade over Your right hand. By day the sun shall not smite you, Nor the Moon at night. Adonai will stand sentry, guarding you from all harm– Guarding your very life. Adonai will stand sentry over your going out and your coming in From now until eternity.

A Psalm for Mourning by Terry Boyle I cannot tear it all down, rip out the broken heart of it, and be done with it. I cannot stop the death whisperer from calling your names, or stop the cold melt of sadness from its gentle falling into the grave of sorrows. I cannot shout it down, force back the gathering darkness that drowns out each quivering light. Carelessly, I stumble now with age, I’ve watched too many lights dimly fade, felt the particles of anguish and waves of grief subside into resignation. I’ve crept under the shadow of prayer, sought the divine presence, rested on the warm breast of faith, until my stuttering tears faltered, and all hope grew cold. I continue to linger in desperate waiting for the waters to part ways, and clear for me a pathway to promise.

Mirrors By Cathleen Cohen When so much is taken in anger and terror — a thunderclap that shocks the breath from us, porous vessels, we cast about for light among shards. We dwell in a ruined garden, tasting what’s bitter from the tree of knowledge — too much frailty, too much Cain and Abel, too much chaos and Babel. We reach to touch souls as luminous as mirrors so we might reflect light back to each other.

Writing a Note of Comfort We invite you to write a note. A note from your heart intended for whomever your soul wishes to send it to: the soul of [name of the deceased], their loved ones, yourself, or Klal Yisrael, the global Jewish community. When there is darkness and pain, we can turn to words to express our grief. What are the words we can offer to ease the despair so many of us feel? Moving them out of our minds and hearts and into the world outside ourselves might bring a small offering of comfort in a challenging time.

Washing Hands Water is a central theme in Jewish tradition and text. Water can be salvation and also punishment. Water is healing and also transformative. Water can make us whole, carrying us from one state of being into another. In the ritual of taharah, the Chevra Kadisha uses water to both cleanse and ritually purify the deceased. Nina Rubin teaches us that we come into this world whole, and along the way, we find ourselves broken. At death, the living have the opportunity to make us spiritually whole again through Taharah. We will use the water to transition us from this space we have created back into our lives. Slowly pour water over each hand, alternating right and left. As you pour the water, feel it on your fingertips and hands. Note the temperature and how it moves on your body. Imagine immersing yourself in it, letting it wash over you. Say: ‫עושה שלום במרומיו הוא יעשה שלום עלינו ועל כל ישראל‬ Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya'aseh shalom aleinu, v'al kol Yisrael May the one who makes peace in the heavens, make peace for us and all the people of Israel.

About Kavod v’Nichum Rooted in Jewish tradition, Kavod v'Nichum is on a mission to reignite how we show up for one another during end-of-life transitions. We provide education, training, and community to nourish and grow the presence of progressive and pluralistic Chevrei Kadisha in North America. Learn more at www.kavodvnichum.org