Deliberate and intentional slights that are meant to hurt through name-calling, avoiding and purposeful discriminatory actions
When someone attempts to discredit or minimise the experiences of a person, who is from an underrepresented group
These are rude, insensitive comments that subtly disrespect:
"You don't look disabled"
They can be Verbal & Nonverbal
When you hear something inappropriate, speak up immediately in a measured, factual tone
Give a short and clear explanation, why this is not ok and what it means to you.
Ask: "What do you mean by that?" and give them time to unpack their assumptions
Ideally, speak up immediately.
However, if the speaking up could embarrass the person, reach out in private after the meeting.
The goal is not to blame and shame, but rather to make people understand.
I think I heard you say ... Is that correct?
Can you explain, what you mean by that?
It sounds like you are frustrated/nervous/angry ...
I think that’s a stereotype. I’ve learned that
Maybe you didn’t realise this, but when you said ..., it was hurtful because ...
When you said ...,
I felt hurt/angry/attacked ...
Challenge the Stereotype
Most people, who are not the target of discrimination, either do not notice, when it happens, or do not realise how damaging it can be.
So the very first step is to look for signs of unequal treatment, microagressions or signs, that people feel excluded
“Oh, that sounds like what Jane was just saying. What were you saying again, Jane?”
“Hey Dave, that's a good idea, but how's that any different than what Jane said?”
“That was an idea that Jane already shared at the top of the meeting Let's hear Jane describe it again?”
“I'd love to share my ideas here, but Jane is the expert I'd like to hear what she has to say about this."
https://www theskimm com/stateofwomen/send-this-to-a-man
Be a good colleague.
When people stand together, subtly turning their back, walk there, sit there, talk with the one who is excluded.
When people talk about topics or events aimed to exclude others from the conversation, introduce new topics, that are relevant for all.
When people talk badly about someone, who is not in the room, speak up for them.
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