Children & Education
The Diary of a Local Mum Here’s Looking at You, Kid When you have a baby, everyone seems to want to liken it to either one, or the other, or both of its parents. The little, red, round, bald bundle apparently looks ‘just like you!’ or the ‘spitting image of his/her dad’. Hmm, yes, if you say so… it also bears a striking resemblance to the wrinkled old man who just walked past, but perhaps we shouldn’t go there! As more and more visitors see your little bundle of joy, these comparisons continue and often become increasingly tenuous – ‘She’s got long fingers like Auntie Annie’, ‘He’ll be tall like Uncle Bert’, ‘Your great Grandpa had that exact same dimple!’. And, while genetically there’s bound to be some family likeness, babies change so much day by day in the early weeks. While one day you’re told they look like one person, the next you’re told they look like someone else…and so it goes on. In truth, unless they’re an identical twin, they have their own totally unique features. They look like themselves. I’ve often been told that both of my kids look like me – and so has their dad. In fairness, we’ve all got dark hair and dark eyes, so there’s bound to be some similarity! I can rarely see a resemblance, I just see my kids; every inch of their faces so familiar as I’ve watched them grow and change over the years. Having said that, occasionally I’m floored by a glance, an expression or a photo which suddenly seems to capture something of another family member. Even the way they speak or react to a situation. The similarity can be a look, a gesture or part of their character but all of a sudden you can see what others have claimed to be evident from day one – this unique little person is made up of building blocks from various generations. When they walk just like grandad, or laugh at the exact same things that grandma does on the TV. When they pull the same face that dad does when they concentrate. Or, when your not-so-smart phone’s face recognition technology categorises a picture of
you in amongst photos of your son and all of a sudden it’s like looking in a mirror. And then it’s gone again. They’re their own person, but you’ve just caught a glimpse of the small part you’ve contributed. In many ways, your kids are like an upgraded model – you, Mark II. You can see in them strengths where you have weaknesses, perfections where you have flaws. They love things that you hate (and hate things that you love – the taste for marmite is not hereditary, apparently. My stash of Twiglets is safe!). For every similarity there’s a difference, and that’s great. It really wouldn’t do if we were all carbon copies. While every now and then it’s nice to spot a likeness in my kids, I also love to sit back and watch in wonder at everything that I am not. There may be familiar snippets of other people in there but they have their own unique characteristics, appearances, opinions, likes, dislikes, strengths and interests and watching these emerge as they grow and their character develops is fascinating. So, here’s looking at you, kid. You’re your own person … and you absolutely rock.
By Helen Young
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