LIFE AFTER LOCKDOWN

By Jo Henwood

After almost three months in lockdown, restrictions in the UK are slowly beginning to lift. Shops have reopened, people are tentatively returning to the workplace and we are all looking forward to an eventual rebirth of our social lives.

The ‘new normal’ will mean wearing masks on public transport, keeping our distance from people in shops and maybe walking in a one-way system around our offices or working from home more. Consultant clinical psychologist Claire Iveson (pictured below), says that the way we behave in this next phase will depend on our personalities, our own expectations and how we reacted during lockdown. She says that our shared human response to the pandemic, born out of a desire to help one another, keep each other safe, be responsible and stop the spread of coronavirus will continue as we move on to the next stage. “We as humans perceived the virus as a strong threat,” says Claire.

“It is unseen, it is everywhere and nowhere. As this filters through our mind, it triggers our survival brain. We become alert and on edge.” When lockdown began, Claire thinks that we all suffered a form of collective social grief.

She said: “The virus took away a lot of things that make humans work and help buffer our working lives.

“Taking holidays, being able to meet friends for a drink, going out for our tea, these help us create a life balance and they were all taken away.

“Some people were in denial, some felt anger and many of us felt a sense of loss for our life as it was.”

Claire acknowledges that lockdown will have affected people in very different ways. “Some people have sadly lost loved ones,” she said.

“Others who are dealing with more difficulties than others – poverty, poorer mental health, living in abusive relationships or without homes. Such adversity Claire Iveson and social inequalities will impact services, like mental health and education, in long and far reaching ways.”

But she also recognises that lockdown for many will have been a very positive experience. Claire says: “Some people have rediscovered old hobbies, appreciated nature more during their daily walk, spent more happy time with their family, even slept better.”

In the new normal Claire says we may find we are more alert and cautious in situations that didn’t bother us before. The mind’s urge to problem solve will help us work out how to act and what to do next.

“If you enjoyed some of the slower pace of life and rediscovered the value of things, maybe you can work out ways of incorporating that into your new normal.

“If you were in lockdown with other people, you may have met many challenges – spending more time together, negotiating your own space, working out the division of labour, especially with household chores or home schooling. These negotiations may well continue as lockdown eases.”

Our own relationship with authority will have affected how we responded to restrictions and how we behave now. This can cause friction if different people in your household have different views.

“Homebirds, who enjoy their own company, are likely to have enjoyed a lot of things that lockdown brought whereas the social butterflies among us, who thrive on human contact, will be eager to get out and about,” says Claire.

“Each of us has our own coping style, often born out of previous experiences and how we understand the current changing situation – some people are very cautious and will find it more challenging if others don’t adhere to the rules, others will be more flexible, more able to assimilate new rules and adapt to change.

“If you isolated most of lockdown, don’t feel that you have to go out straight away,” Claire advises.

“Break it down into small steps. Set yourself the challenge of taking one short walk to the park. The next time you go, maybe stay out a little longer. Don’t rush yourself. If you haven’t met anyone during lockdown, take it very slowly – just arrange to meet one person outside for a short time.

“Likewise, if you have been working from home and have to go back to an office, don’t expect it to be the same as it was when you left. The workplace itself might be different, with social distancing rules, but you may also feel different.

“And if your return to the workplace is not as easy as you expected, talk to your manager, tell them how you feel.”

Be kind and compassionate to yourself

Be clear on what you can control and what you can’t control

Set yourself targets and don’t try to do too much too soon

Build your confidence

Speak out if you feel uncomfortable

Keep things in perspective – to help, look at how others are behaving in your own social group. It is also OK to follow your own path

Acceptance – recognise that some things are not within our gift to control or change at the moment

It is OK – to feel sad, anxious or angry. We have had a lot inflicted on us

Don’t compare yourself with others. Move at your own pace.

Claire is keen to remind us all that we are in this together and that we have the equipment to see us through. She said: “The mind is a brilliant, problem solving machine and its main function and purpose is to see that we operate safely. “We are living in unprecedented times but we can take comfort in the fact that we are not alone, none of us knows what it is going to be like and everyone is feeling their way.”