The pitch wotked. The gains Helms made among blacks in the last ten days of the campaign contributed m his narrow vicmry. Keyes claims he increaS('(j the black vote by some 11 percent, or 55,000 votes. In his Helms-photo mailing Keyes wrote, "Since Helms only won by 46,000 votes, 1 believe it is dear that the black votes he received made the difference be[V,~n success and defeat." (In fact, the margin of vicmry was 86,280,) The ultimate comradiction of BLACK PAC is that its mailings-usually sent to between 20,000 and 50,000 people - are no more targeted to impressionable blacks than they are m the Vil/a~ Voice subscriber list. A significant percentage of the letters an; in fact, sent to whilt conservatives (Keyes ddensively insisrs that half the letters acrually go to blacks), This seems counterinruitive but actually makes a strange SOft of sense: you can raise a lot of money by implying that the PAC will somehow help pacify those ~liberal radical blacks~ Helms is always talking about. As for the method, the whole idea of photographs is to go straight for the pan of the btain -the reprilian pan-that te' sponds m conservative iconography. Caner Wrenn, one of Helms's chief tacticians, purs it blu ndy: "I guess if)'Ou sent it m a bunch of IiheraIs, they'd think it was SOrt of funny. I\s for myself, I've received photos of President ~agan in the mail. I didn't think it was funny. I thought it was a nice gesrure.~ The scandal of BLACK PAC-an organization ostensibly promoting the interests of black Americans and actually promoting the interesrs of whire, Helmsian conservatives - is not that it's deceptive or corrupt. The scandal is it's banal. It differs from the rest of Washington's marketing of politics only in degttt: ideological oxymorons are less important than the money coming In. This spring BLACK PAC even swiveled to back Dtmorrat Darrell Glascock in Arkansas's primary for a House seat. Glascock, formerly a ~publican political consulranr, was the only candidate BLACK PAC supported, and it put all itS liberalbashing resources-according to Keyes, an implausible $200-inro the fight, For the record, Glascock lost cwo to onewhich is probably salutary for the workings of democracy, Glascock looks like a cross be[V,~n Danny DeVito and Jerry Falv.oell. You'd hate to have hiJ photo Start showing up in )'Our mailbox. ) 146 srv AUGUST 1988
Baby-sitter
BOOM ----@>---BY ELUS WEINER
HOPEFUllY, WE HIRED A NEW baby-sitter recencly. ('"The banle for hopt/1111, has been lou; a friend of mine once lamented. He was right. It figuntively hu. But let us soldier on ... bravely, defiantly, of hope.) By now, of HOW TO full course, one is thoroughly BE A sick of babies - other peoGROWN· ple's, at any rate - and the UP accompanying baby.tna, The books, the movies, that 1V show (what's it called? JOmtlhillgNJmtlhi,,8.?), the magazine articles, the magazines: media saturation is complete, Babies are the yuppies of the post·yuppie eighties. But in babY-JhterJ we enCounter the next hor subjecr. Already a PlOp!t cover has sobbed/crowed over Robin Williams's en· tanglement with his son's -nanny"- great Mork word; tOO bad it's tOO late to run the StOry under the head NANNY NO-NO - and presumably Thrrt Mm and a Baby-Jit/tr is on its way. And ifthe tOpic is timely, the reality is to die: in seeking -help" the parent toddles intO an interpersonal minefield. Thar goes double for the grown·up, for whom a day withour doubting the appropriateness of his behavior is a day without sunshine.. Never mind the au pair f.mtasies: who wants a lithe, blond, Sv.oedish lovely residing under his roof anyway? Forget even the fact thar, sometimes, the poor, stupid grown-up is not entirely comfortable with being the boss. After all, the grown-upor, at least, his wife- is a big boy. Someone will get used to being the boss. The problem is in balancing one's respeCt for mankind, on the one hand, with one's obligations to one's adorable genius offspring (AGO), on the other. Which means that the problem is really money, One wantS someone intelligent, sensith'e and fun to attend one's AGO, but for an hourly wage that can go only so high,
and no higher. Whom does one sel nd sensltivj~ Women from Mthe islandsM ; fresh hi -T' make everyc school graduates making a long, hesit ing, in vain. approach-run to coUege, or at-home mo resses regrer. U with their own one or twO kids to mi on that sitter Yo You interview, you take a chance, you her vocarional them and, bosslike, you evaluate them. M . ay we nOte ~ And then they, employeelike, evalu la we aU )'Ou. We've had some bold 'n' ztsty eval er'dis ac th~ " ~J&._. PPtOvll Ing " gOIng on aroun d h ere I ate' y, b ut ra_py-sirters_eve, than bore you with the details, let me bkted kid h as you with the general oucline. me) IN d pa . . a oubl Self and Wife work at home, need ftIy's pa " d" ,renrswc ume seeon ary-care-glvlOg person to mhk office b . , and inspire lively, fun toddler Natha ry toys. A u~d~1 ~WorJd's Cutesr Human- Weiner, age 2 SOme of h~ ,Ir "ad 6 months. Found same, late last ~ar: I srud" I M • T' n are: gal (19 yn. old) With a 1lJZlltTa! talen }ackso' "~· S" " d'~" "d Ik . ns cand k llU. mer mID cu, IDsplre ta auve at doe } self and wife worked, big house Iy ans:ees; ~ heap-big cold winds in winter, manYary.) re ,jNJ falo froze, otherwise all well. IS wa, . not rhe 61 Comes the sort-of spnng-cr into the h" ". f . .L· an d d af/Od ill> reczIDg melt Stamen wiU dc ild·c " an (Jexll y etc., etc. When s old and we WI hired Our first y ~ornpetenr WOI adlared disappr01 ofa sheer joy ro b 8e ar SOmething I , re In " fa cr ar faul u~ Another WOrn hlch is ro sa'" n_ b - ... ca n, asleep on th while he, IOrtep! . r will. fOund h er success Way' - - - - - - - - - - - - [ .. by sropping rc
""' SOl If" n overOlg "h ' 10 Brooklyn ani PIStl tows anyon 0 .," " d d·L .L e. neofth uurues-an ,one ay, me 'NeaUitoung lad fi balmy. My wife, who has had mi~ reeend y ro~ from the firsr about the sitter's attth bard y ~t thiS) er IOto Au ward her employers, emerges f"'e in A ' St menca Th' brain-poisoning fumes of her OffiliderfUJ b d" IS Ur ecllOed sene space heater and confronts we lefr N v " --' hunch IS con fi rmt:U; the worst .IS rica i ewwrkCi If. The baby·siner, it seems, d se.:l"' she t3e .. prove of mothers who work. S h{'r our to~SI Iyas. that mothen should spend all onsy/va with rheir kids. l." ~aro-.J = to reply, "So Wife-mother and siner Orne and (001 N ' . " aw k war, d a bsu Ood cy pier".. rc of realicy," ar lOtl th orny, h aItlng, Father-self- is brought down "0 babY'Sitter, even fun. There are farfetched specu St.t{'s away.' Besides disclaimers, earnest/futile expl «'P down, th.t N I fUre f ara ter says this or that ludicrous, .... 're.llry. true thing. Wife compons he Ise. )
;,why.