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3SO YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO CHURCH ANYMORE
for power.” “That’s for sure. And it seems to hold on longer than the conflict itself deserves. People are angry at each other. I’ve been called names I’d never heard in real estate. People are still complaining about the damages, even though one family has promised to cover the costs to repair the damage and replace any missing equipment. It doesn’t make sense.” “Unless it only gave voice to a deeper conflict.” I hadn’t thought of that before, but thinking back I realized that those voicing the strongest opinions were divided on other things as well. “You might be right, John. We’ve had this underlying tension between people who think our fellowship is too ingrown and those who worry that bringing in a lot of new people will spoil what we have.” “That’s not uncommon. I’ve been with groups who’ve fought over what kind of songs to sing or who can use the new gymnasium. Some think of what might attract new followers. Others want to keep it the way they can enjoy it. These things are never easy.” “I’m just sick of the whole mess and dread going back. We’re having a special meeting tomorrow night. Everyone’s pretty angry. It’s not going to be pretty. Some of our board members are demanding the youth pastor’s resignation and are angry with the pastor for letting this whole thing get out of hand.” “How do you think it will turn out?” “If the pastor is good at anything, it is saving his own skin. He’ll probably have to let the youth guy go. He’s already told him that if he will resign he will give him a good recommendation down the road. But that’s where he wants me to lie for him.” “What does he want you to say?” “He is trying to distance himself from this whole thing by telling others he had no idea what kind of group this was. But he did. He’d heard one of their CDs beforehand, and had been warned their music was on the edgy side. The pastor heard it and told Ben and me how excited he was about reaching out to the hurting youth of our community.” “Uh oh!” “Yes. Now he’s changed the story. A couple of days ago one
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of our elders tore into him and he defended himself by saying he’d been blindsided by the whole affair. He said I was the one who approved it. Now the pastor and Ben are telling opposing stories and calling each other liars. When I reminded the pastor of our earlier conversation, he said he had felt trapped and in the heat of the moment had forgotten that he heard the CD. When I told him he needed to clarify his story, he told me that while it wasn’t technically true, it at least represented the truth. If he had any idea what would have happened that night he would never have given his consent. He wants me to back up his story and hang Ben out to dry. He told me that after all he’s done for me, I owe him this.” “It seems to me that if you owe him then he never really did anything for you.” His words hung in the air while I tried to figure out what he meant. “You mean he didn’t do those things for me? Who then? For himself?” “Who else? Do you see how our definitions of love get twisted when institutional priorities take over? He probably cares about you. I don’t mean to discount that but he is still at the center of it. Now he wants to call in a debt you don’t owe. “The problem with church as you know it, Jake, is that it has become nothing more than mutual accommodation of selfneed. Everybody needs something out of it. Some need to lead. Some need to be led. Some want to teach, others are happy to be the audience. Rather than become an authentic demonstration of God’s life and love in the world, it ends up being a group of people who have to protect their turf. What you’re seeing is less of God’s life than people’s insecurities that cling to those things they think will best serve their needs.” “Is that why people can suddenly become so vicious when they are threatened? They act like angry dogs when someone’s trying to take their bone away.” “Exactly! And they do it thinking God is on their side. At times like this the group often splinters into new arrangements that will better serve each other’s insecurities. After their bitterness recedes the cycle will begin all over again.” “So no matter what I do, it’s just going to get worse.” “Have you got a choice to make?”