Cogitate in Waiting by Jonathon Markham

Cogitate In Waiting   By:   Jonathon Markham    The sun lingered at its highest point of the day, beaming down its intense  heat as a dry wind blew across a long forgotten yard.  Tall yellow grass swayed into  the dust filled breeze as the roots reluctantly held onto the desiccated ground.  A  rutted dirt driveway ran between the yard and a rusted chain link fence, ending at a  dilapidated ranch.  Inside sat James Cowlin, a lean man in his mid forties with a  military cut of white hair.    He held in his hands a Colt .45 with two rounds missing from the chamber,  the slugs now rested in the temple of a man lying on the floor.  James was waiting  for a call from his handler, the operation didn’t go as planned and he needed a new  set of orders.    The recently deceased was an apparent informant that had accesses to  information that the U.S. Government found to be extremely valuable.  The content  of this information was so profound that when the informant stated that he would  only deal with a certain unstable former CIA agent, the Government didn’t hesitate  to give James a call.  He was promised a reinstatement of his pension and benefits  after the successful completion of the mission.  It was a chance to get his life back.    James had been reluctant at first; his final years at the CIA were not the best,  due to his occasional blackouts.  Either an event or a sound would trigger a memory  of one of many horrifying experiences he had while working under deep cover.  He  would go into a psychotic craze and when he came out of it, things had happened  that he had no memory of doing.  Bad things.    He was a liability and when his usefulness ran out they cut him off and locked  all records away.  He was considered an embarrassment to some and they wanted  all existence of his involvement to be erased.  He lost twelve years of his life with  nothing to show for it.    Naturally, when that first call came he didn’t know what he should do.  This  would be a chance to get back a little dignity, but he also knew he was volatile and it  was a big risk putting him out in the field.  He told them initially that he would think  about it.    The next day at the exact same time they called him again and he gave them  the same response as before.  It wasn’t until the Director himself visited James at his  house via helicopter that James agreed to take the mission.  The Director was one of  his biggest critics and James knew that for him to ask James personally must of  meant that the mission had an urgency of an up most importance.    He was kept in the dark about the details of the operation.  It wasn’t until the  LZ that James knew where he was going and it wasn’t until he arrived at the ranch,  where he now sat waiting, did he know who he was dealing with.    His first thought was if this was some kind of cruel joke.  He could feel his  mind slipping and it took all of his willpower to bring himself back.  Didn’t the CIA