Why Jesus Appears to People Today
from the front on the very end of the seat, right next to the aisle, prepared to come forward for salvation. It seemed like a long time of having my hand up. Finally, I noticed someone grab my face with their right hand very rough. I looked and it was the pastor. He then put his mouth to my right ear and said, “You’re just a stupid little kid and you do not know what you’re doing; put your hand down.” I will never forget those words, as they were words of torture, of death. My family was a poor family. There were five of us kids and we wore patches on our clothes. In those days wearing patches was a disgrace. My mother always made sure we were clean, our clothes were clean, but we wore patches and patches most definitely were not cool in those days. We were considered the outcasts. And then what made it worse was the fact that my mother and father both had American Indian blood, so all of us kids were dark-haired with dark skin. The kids at school would call me mulatto. So I was not a banker, a lawyer, or some refined-looking prize for this pastor to have come to the altar. I would say this pastor was ashamed to have my family in his church. So this was a major turning point in my life. I started believing that there was no such thing as God. How could there be? One of the most successful pastors in St. Louis proved to me there was no God. I always thought this pastor must know God more than most of the people in the world, as he is one of the most successful pastors in one of the largest cities in the world. I figured if this was God’s man, then I did not want anything to do with God. 18
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