THE WISDOM
OF
FORGIVENESS
struck by the intensity of his gaze. The photographers’ clumsy movement around him and the loud clicks of the shutters had no discernable effect on him. Why should we care about emptiness? What has it got to do with our real lives? For the Dalai Lama, perspective is everything. Much of our unhappiness, our suffering, is caused by discrepancies between our perceptions and what is real. For example, I see myself as a distinct entity: I am different from my daughter, my wife, my enemy. Whether I love these people or hate them, I believe that I exist independently from them. Due to my lifelong conditioning, there is no doubt in my mind that there is a sharp distinction between myself and others. The idea of self-interest, of every person for themselves, makes sense from this perspective. However, if I accept the Dalai Lama’s point of view, I see that my existence depends on an infinite, intricately linked series of events, people, causes, and conditions. If any of these things had been different, I would exist in different ways. If my parents had been born in Lhasa, I’d likely be a Tibetan rather than Chinese. If I hadn’t been kidnapped in Afghanistan in 1972, I might not have met the Dalai Lama. From this perspective, “self” and “others” make sense only in terms of relationships. For the Dalai Lama, the essence, the crux of reality, is the fundamental interconnectedness between people and people, and between people and things. This is how he views the world around him. For well over half a century, he has believed, in the core of his being, that “his” interest and “your” interest are inextricably connected. In a 150