THIS ISSUES
CONTENTS
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All Emma Watson
Images in this issue of Spotlight photographed by: Joan Bateman at Tribeca Film Festival, NYC https://www.tribecafilm.com
6 Larger Than Life EDITORIAL BY Scott Cowan
The world is at a turning point. People every where are starting to understand and support the idea of gender equality.
10 Gold!!! EDITORIAL Scott Cowan Returning to the Gold standard
13 The Fashion Files The Gainsboro Spotlight presents: ON & Off the Runway with iconic fashion designs by - Lourdes Atencio & Laurel DeWitt. This month, the designs adorn our pages, photographed in the Art of Imaging’s illustrious New York indoor & outdoor photo studio spaces; AND on the runways of New York City’s electric Fashion Week!
37 Golf Simplified Golf Columnist Donald Crawley
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The Road Paved with Good Intentions
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POLITICS Columnist Brent Dunstan
40 Shared Parenting, Where are we at? LAW Columnist Scott Stenbeck
Self-Indulgence Versus Self-Love Columnist Dr.Wendy Froberg Psy. D.,R.Psych Clinical Psychologist
50 Detox Your Brain Master Coach Columnist Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas
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editor-in-chief
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art director
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creative designer
G A I N S B O R O S T U D I O ( 4 0 3 ) 5 2 6 - 3 0 5 4 photography
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Facebook @SpotLightMagazine.ca Instagram @spotlightmagazineonline Instagram @travelingspotlight Web Site w w w.spotlightmagazine.ca Twitter @spotlightmaga12
3 7 7 - 4 S T R E E T S E M E D I C I N E H A T , A B T 1 A 0 K 4 address
E M A I L S SpotLight Magazine
spotlightmagazine@shaw.ca Editors
scott-cowan@live.com
E D I T O R A L C O N T R I B U T O R S Scott Cowan Scott Stenbeck Brent Dunstan Donald Crawley Wendy Froberg N a t h a l i e Pl a m o n d o n -Th o m a s
Art Director
joan@gainsboro.ca Creative Designer
design_gal@outlook.com
P H O T O G R A P H Y C O N T R I B U T O R S Joan Bateman Bruce Herlitschek
Magazine ~ Published and Printed ~ SpotLight Magazine
FOR A COMPLIMENTARY SUBSCRIPTION TO SPOTLIGHT, FORWARD YOUR EMAIL TO : SPOTLIGHTMAGAZINE@SHAW.COM Disclaimer: No responsibility can be taken by SpotLight Magazine for any errors or omissions contained herein. Furthermore, responsibility for any losses, damages or distress resulting from adherence to any information made available through this magazine is not the responsibility of SpotLight Magazine. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of SpotLight Magazine. Comments are welcome.
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Emma Watson & Elizabeth Nyamayaro stand together in support of the HeForShe Awareness
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Larger Than Life
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e take for granted in Canada and the USA the tremendous strides women have achieved. It is not so in many parts of the world. Today in Africa and the Middle East woman are bought and sold in slave auctions. In some countries their value is less than farm animals. A currency in which they are also traded. If we are to survive as a species it is clear that half of our he world is at a turning point. worlds population must be represented People every where understand fairly in law. More so in the hearts and and support the idea of gender minds of men across the globe. Canada, equality. They know it is not just a although a leader in comparison to third women's issue. It's a human rights issue. world nations, has much to change to And when these powerful voices are address the very real issues of equality. heard they will change the world. The I found the story insightful how Emma time for that change is now. became HeforShe is inviting people involved in the HeForShe around the world to movement. movement is stand together to As Elizabeth and I inviting people create a bold visible enjoyed breakfast, I to stand force for gender casually asked how she together to equality. And it was able to snag such create a bold starts by taking a super star? “Well, she visible force for action right now answered, I called her gender equaity. to create a publsist and asked!”... www.heforshe.org gender equal world. Now keep in mind that Elizabeth This is the mission statement is no light weight herself. As a for the HeForShe movement. high ranking UN official, people tend to pick up the phone when she calls. But Awareness for this cause was catapulted Emma is one of the hottest celebrities to world wide attention when super star on the planet. With the strength of the Emma Watson made a ground breaking movement itself and considering the star speech at the United Nations in New power Watson brought to the equation, York. Elizabeth Nyamayaro leads the it is no wonder every country in the strategic vision and daily execution of
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the initiative. Elizabeth is secure adviser to the under secretory adviser of the UN women. Spotlight was pleased to meet with her on a recent trip to Ottawa. After sparing some time for us she was off to meet our Prime Minister on Capital Hill. She was awe inspiring in her comments and platform remarks immediately after our interview.
SpotLight Magazine’s editor Scott Cowan and photogragher Joan Bateman meet with Elizabeth Nyamayaro.
world is now familiar with the cause.
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admit at first I was skeptical about the validity of the cause. But that was before meeting Elizabeth and hearing the passion she brought to the message. Emma got the world’s attention, but truthfully it is the depth of Elizabeth’s message that is moving world leaders and public opinion around the globe. She leaves no one unconvinced that we in the free world must act. Her nation of Zimbabwe is fast becoming the beacon of Africa. Financially and politically. I think Elizabeth should run for high office. I hope she does.
Elizabeth Nyamayaro
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Scott Cowan Editorial
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he world is changing fast and we better all get ready. A couple of years ago I wrote regarding the demise of the USA dollar as the Worlds Reserve Currency. More than a few people responded with smirks, comments, and general disdain. However these days, after the Russians and Chinese started buying their oil in rubles and yuan, my earlier predictions seemed suddenly prophetic. Late last year the BRICS (Brazil, Russia, India, China, South Africa) began side stepping the USA Petro Dollar in favor of the Yuan. Why is it a big deal? Because the world for the last 60 odd years has considered the USA dollar the standard benchmark currency. Hence the term world reserve currency. Anyone who did business had to exchange their money and buy USA dollars in order to transact business for any purchases the world over. The USA also took a cut of said exchange of funds. Also it meant that the USA dollar could be hyper inflated by printing all the worthless paper the “Fed” so desired. If the USA needed any part of the 100 billion a day that is spent for foreign oil, it could tap the Federal Reserve to speed up the presses. Presto, enough money to pay the bill. Now this magical money machine could continue so long as the rest of the world had confidence in the USA government's ability to back up the money it was handing out. That is rapidly changing.
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Gold!!!
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he BRICS and others are now trading he USA as well as the rest of the without using those petro-dollars. world since recorded history, used Soon the greenback will not be accepted money in the form of gold and silver as anywhere. The USA will have to start currency. But some liberal politicians decided that a better idea was to “create,” exchanging their money for yuan in order to make their oil purchases. Once paper to represent money. Since gold the true value of the USA dollar starts and silver was hard to cart around. This getting out it will drop like a stone in idea actually was okay until bankers comparison to other currencies. Why? realized the people were not quick to Because China has redeem the announced their oil paper for the USA and Canada transactions in yuan can at bullion. They started currency is in serious the customers to leverage the trouble.You might want to discretion, be settled in assets by lending more paper than spend a few dollars on ...you guessed it ...gold! What they actually held some so-called worthless would you rather hold... an over inflated 8 cent dollar, or in metal. They were currency. Then put it under a Yuan that is backed by and making interest on your mattress. redeemable in gold? China non-existent assets, and Russia vicariously have simply because peogone back on to the gold ple were liking the standard by backing their convenience of the currencies with hard assets. China anpaper. This evolved through the years. Then, the late great President Nixon took nounced last year the creation of an the America off the gold standard all togeth- Shanghai Gold Exchange. Now fully operational, it is er. Mostly rivaling London as the world leader in because bankers were so over leveraged gold transactions. Which brings us to that they had to take gold out of the another interesting factoid. The USA now equation, or be found the frauds they holds about 8,200 metric tons of gold in really were all along. Then the ball really reserve. But the tiny country of started to roll down hill. Unencumbered Zimbabwe has over 130,000 tons of gold by even the pretense of having enough reserves with an estimated 13 million assets (gold) to cover what they were tons in the ground!!! Considering only spending, meant the government had the reserves, Zimbabwe should revalue a blank cheque . The “Fed,” which by the their currency at (130,000 divided by way was not and is not owed by the 8,200 = 15.8%) or $15.80 to the USA government. It has always been owned dollar. by bankers. Over decades they proceeded to lend at interest, to the USA government, funds totaling 20 trillion dollars. The only problem is that the USA dollar is worth only a small fraction of that amount. I won't get into the “Petro Dollar,” which in the simplest terms is a hedge or a facsimile of value or worth, supporting the dollar (faux gold). My point is that the USA and Canada has so few gold reserves our currency is in serious trouble. WHY?
Gold!!! S
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econd, China has invested heavily in on't ignore the Iraqi Dinar. They this African country. They have are in the process of revaluing as we negotiated 50% of the mining speak. It should come out around $4.00 operations. Any guess from where the as well. All that oil makes their money Shanghai Gold Exchange is filling it's worth a fortune compared to ours. So coffers? Some may remember Zimbabwe spend a few dollars and take a as a backward country. Where the chance. In war, the first thing the famous 100 Trillion dollar notes were enemy tries is to ruin your currency. paid to laborers in 2008 and 2009. Then, During the beginning of the worker could barely buy a “Desert Storm,” The Kuwaiti meal with the money. The So spend a money was taken off the currency was removed from world markets. It was few dollars the Forex. It has since been bought up for literally and take a considered worthless. It was nothing. A few weeks chance. replaced by the American later it revalued. dollar, the Euro, and recently the Yuan. Politicians made billions on the This arbitrage. The same will happen insignificant country is about to become with the Dinar in Iraq. The Taliban the richest most wealthy in the world! has been defeated. Schools, They hold in excess of half the entire hospitals, and basic infrastructure world's known gold reserves. has been rebuilt. Next step, revalue the money and move forward pumping all that oil. ecently while on business in Ottawa, I was invited to sit with a high ranking UN official from Zimbabwe. We spoke of many things, then I casually asked if the Zim dollar was going to revalue and go gold backed. Oh, absolutely was the reply. Then I asked the big question...I am told that the 100 trillion dollar notes minted in 2008 and 2009 were printed as “sovereign bonds.” Will they be redeemed? A stony silence was the reply. What was not said ...spoke volumes! Consider the 13 million metric tons of gold under the ground in that country. There are diamonds and rare earth elements, platinum, nickel, silver, and don't forget oil. More than enough to redeem those bonds. You might want to spend a few dollars on some so-calledworthless currency. Then put it under your mattress. If the Zim story sounds to out there for you, then consider the Vietnamese Dong. This emerging Asian manufacturing power house has not revalued since before the war with first France, then the good old USA. When it changes we could be looking at a minimum of between $3.00 and $4.00 to one American. You can now buy one million Dong for about $50.00 Canadian.
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THE CARLYLE, A ROSEWOOD HOTEL ANNOUNCES WINTER/ SUNDAY NIGHT RESIDENCIES AT BEMELMANS BAR
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ollow The Carlyle Hotel on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. At Bemelmans Bar.
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BLAKE ZIDELL & ASSOCIATES
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he Carlyle, a Rosewood Hotel, is pleased to welcome back Jim Caruso & Billy Stritch to Bemelmans Bar for Sunday night residencies throughout the winter/spring 2017 season. Featuring top artists from the worlds of jazz, cabaret and Broadway alongside special unannounced guests. Sunday nights at Bemelmans Bar have become a favorite spot for a wide range of performing musicians across the city. Additionally, the classic watering hole has drawn crowds consisting of socialites, politicians, movie stars, and moguls for more than five decades.
performing extensively on their own, Caruso and Stritch—who are best friends—gained national exposure together as the host and musical director of the wildly popular, recurring open mic event Cast Party. Stephen Holden, in The New York Times, called a Cast Party event in the Lincoln Center American Songbook series “a welcoming oasis of traditional show business bonhomie”—a description that perfectly captures the spirit of the duo’s Bemelmans residency. The pair will be at Bemelmans on March 5, March 12, March 19, April 2, April 9, April 16, April 23 and April 30.
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im Caruso & Billy Stritch’s upcoming performances will build upon their recent run of shows in the intimate, storied New York City lounge. Favorites not only of music fans and critics, but also of fellow artists. The duo recently added dozens of songs made famous by Frank Sinatra to their repertoire. Thanks to their current national tour of The Sinatra Century. Their shows provide a place where some of the city’s foremost entertainers go to commune with their own—and sometimes sit-in for a song or two—on their nights off. To be sure, Caruso and Stritch are exceptional musicians in their own right. In a recent New York Observer review, Rex Reed described their Bemelmans show as “a nimble, nonstop, musical show-business bonanza. With as much rhythm and class as the feet of Fred Astaire.”
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ut part of the fun is experiencing Caruso and Stritch’s impromptu collaborations with the showbiz heavy-hitters who turn up; recent guest appearances at Bemelmans have included Liza Minnelli, Michael Feinstein, Bono, Marilyn Maye, Tony Danza, Jane Monheit and Linda Lavin. In addition to
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emelmans Bar is located in The Carlyle, A Rosewood Hotel (35 East 76th Street @ Madison Avenue.) Bar seating is $15 per person, and table seating is $25 per person. Reservations not accepted; tables available on a first-come, first-serve basis. For additional information, visit www.thecarlyle.com.
favorite neighborhood bar of Upper East Siders and visitors alike. Bemelmans Bar at The Carlyle is a special hideaway where artist and author Ludwig Bemelmans’ whimsical drawings come to life. Best remembered for his beloved Madeline series of classic children’s books, Bemelmans was commissioned in 1947 to paint the large-scale murals to depict all four seasons in famed Central Park. Featuring the only surviving Bemelmans’ commission open to the public, the bar combines wit and coziness in unique New York style.
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estored in 2002 by designer Thierry Despont, the bar maintains its Art Deco legacy with chocolate-brown leather banquettes, nickel-trimmed black glass tabletops, a dramatic black granite bar and a 24-karat gold leaf-covered ceiling. Open year round with live music every evening, regular performers include favorites such as Chris Gillespie, Earl Rose, Loston Harris, David Budway, Jim Caruso and Billy Stritch. Named in honor of the legendary artist, Bemelmans is a classic New York watering hole that has drawn socialites, politicians, movie stars and moguls for more than five decades. For more information, please contact Blake Zidell, Ron Gaskill or Matt Gross at Blake Zidell & Associates, 718.643.9052, blake@ blakezidell.com, ron@blakezidell.com or matt@blakezidell.com.
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Designer: Lourdes Atencio YEROC By Corey Woods Luxury eyewear
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Model : Michelle O'Bourke
@thatladymich
Designer:
Lourdes Atencio
All Studio Images: Shot at: The Art of Imaging Studio @theartofimaging Dobbs Ferr y NYC YEROC By Corey Woods Luxury eyewear Hair & Makeup: by The Beauty Parlor NYC @thebeautyparlor_ny Photography: by Joan Bateman & Bruce Herlitschek
Model : Michelle O'Bourke
@thatladymich
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All Studio Images: Shot at: The Art of Imaging Studio @theartofimaging Dobbs Ferry NYC Hair & Makeup: by The Beauty Parlor NYC @thebeautyparlor_ny Photography: by Joan Bateman & Bruce Herlitschek
Designer: Laurel DeWitt
al mal @stevieraquelcam Model : Stevie Raquel Ca Designer: Lourdes Atencio
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Designer: Laurel DeWitt All Studio Images: Shot at: The Art of Imaging Studio @theartofimaging Dobbs Ferry NYC Hair & Makeup: by The Beauty Parlor NYC @thebeautyparlor_ny Photography: by Joan Bateman & Bruce Herlitschek Sculpture: Malcolm MacDougall III,
Model : Stevie Raquel Camal @stevieraquelcamal 23
Photography: by Joan Bateman & Bruce Herlitschek
Stevie Raquel wears
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Designer: Lourdes Atencio All Studio Images: Shot at: The Art of Imaging Studio @theartofimaging Dobbs Ferry NYC Hair & Makeup: by The Beauty Parlor NYC @thebeautyparlor_ny Photography: by Joan Bateman & Bruce Herlitschek
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Designer: Lourdes Atencio Model : Stevie Raquel Camal @stevieraquelcamal
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Designer: Laurel DeWitt All Studio Images: Shot at: The Art of Imaging Studio @theartofimaging Dobbs Ferry NYC Hair & Makeup: by The Beauty Parlor NYC @thebeautyparlor_ny Photo graphy: by Joan Bateman & Bruce Herlitschek
Model : Stevie Raquel Camal @stevieraquelcamal
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The old world architecture contrasted by the most elegant modern metal art
Model : Stevie Raquel Camal @stevieraquelcamal
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potlight has featured the marvelous Laurel Dewitt in past issues. In fact an earlier collection by the famous designer has graced the cover of our publication. Spotlight's photographer Joan Bateman and New York correspondent Bruce Herlitschek were privileged to shoot her fall collection during New York Fashion Week. Our media journalists shot house for the event and did a “Look Book,” for Laurel.
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his months Fashion Files features some of those designs on the runway. We had to include them because of the incredible venue chosen being “The Church of The Holy Apostles. It was a century building complete with the old world architecture contrasted by the most elegant modern metal art clothing available in the world today. It has been used as the loction for the movie “The Comedian” with Robert Dinero, Leslie Mann, Edie Falco, and Danny DeVito.
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ut the Spotlight experience was just beginning. We secured part of the collection for an exclusive after show photo op in picturesque Dobbs Ferry. “The Art of Imaging” Studio, hosted our unique shoot.
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air and makeup for the Dobbs Ferry shoot was graciously provided by “The Beauty Parlor.”
SpotLight Photographer Joan Bateman With Designer Laurel DeWitt
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fter a short train ride you arrive in Dobbs Ferry. It is an oasis of serenity from the Manhatten cyclone of activity.
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Spotlight titles this rare presentation to our readers as our “
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were thrilled to pose our models in and Weamongst the creations of one of this centuries
great artists... the work of the talented - Malcolm MacDougall III . His work is truly eclectic,modern and surreal.
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n order to shield our models from the spectacular glare of the photograpic lighting on the clothing and sculptures....
the celebrity shades were by “Yeroc”
(Designer Corey Woods needs little introduction.) His sunglasses are on the dash boards of the worlds finest vehicles. They are worn by the most exotic of celebrities, socialites, and business mogels.
Model : Stevie Raquel Camal @stevieraquelcamal
Beautiful wo a Those who a secure wh
you cruise this months pages, you will be Asprivey to some of the highest and best the world has to offer.
Malcolm MacDougall III, sculpture
Corey Woods finale walk Couture Fashion Week
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Model : Stevie Raquel Camal @stevieraquelcamal
Model : Stevie Raquel Camal @stevieraquelcamal Designer: Laurel DeWitt All Studio Images: Shot at: The Art of Imaging Studio @theartofimaging Dobbs Ferr y NYC Hair & Makeup: by The Beauty Parlor NYC @thebeautyparlor_ny Photography: by Joan Bateman & Bruce Herlitschek
omen are the blank canvas for clothing and accessories coveted by the elite. are choosing from the worlds artistic buffet, hat you see on these pages as their own.
Model : Stevie Raquel Camal @stevieraquelcamal
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All Studio Images: Shot at: The Art of Imaging Studio @theartofimaging Dobbs Ferry NYC Hair & Makeup: by The Beauty Parlor NYC @thebeautyparlor_ny Photography: by Joan Bateman & Bruce Herlitschek
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Golf Simplified minds from enjoying the whole experience, or b) ask too much of myself to perform perfectly.
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Donald Crawley Golf Columnist
TOP 100 Teacher Director of Instruction Boulders Golf Academy 480 488 9028 Donald.crawley@theboulders.com www.theboulders.com www.golfsimplified.com
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olf Simplified is the name of my teaching system. It means what it says.....golf simplified. Golf is a difficult game that we make way too complicated. Most golfers enjoy the game more when they are relaxed and keep the thought process simple. With forty years of playing / teaching experience I often have to remind myself, every day, to keep it simple, the KISS method.In a previous article I summarized my experience of playing golf in the homeland, five days in a row, on beautiful courses with fantastic company. That is a recipe of fun and fond memories. The only way I could spoil it is if I complicated the environment. By a teaching too much to my playing partners, clouding their
Designer: Lourdes Atencio Model: Michelle O’Bourke @ T H AT L A D Y M I C H
he reminder at the start of each round is to keep the thought process simple and enjoy the game. Everyone wants to play better, so I gave each playing partners one thing to work on, to help them control their ball, keep it in play, and hit better shots.
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Golf is a difficult game but we make it complicated - lets simplify it Keep your goals simple yet focused.
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n the range when we are working on some fundamental or particular shot (reduce the slice of the ball: stop topping the ball: chip the ball cleaner, closer- you get the idea.) I try to emphasize two key thoughts, pictures, or 'feels'. Only two, not twenty two.
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o to one of my GolfSimplified video clips https://youtu.be/0jbyJi8btpg if you want to add a visual to this dialogue. " At the start of the backswing I try to push the club straight back for 13 inches before I turn my left shoulder under my chin. As I transfer my weight to the inside of my right leg, that must remain flexed and stable. But not too rigid. At waist height I start to cock my wrists maintaining the pressure between my thumb and forefinger on the right hand. As the left wrist hinges flat, and my right elbow folds down and in, close to but not against my right side. My upper body is coiling perpendicular to my spine. Yet resisting the hip turn as I'm feeling a straight. But relaxed left arm connected to my chest, with my hands above my fully turned rear shoulder.......... And on and on and on.... You get the message.
It’s not that each individual thought or feel is wrong but my goodness that is way too much, too complicated, and we haven’t even finished the back-swing yet! And your playing partners are yelling at you to “RELAX”!
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f you are a new golfer and interested in the game, start with lessons. Get some help, go with a friend. If you are an experienced golfer, a veteran of the game, get some help and take a lesson from a qualified instructor. Keep your goals simple yet focused. If the instruction is lengthy, boring , confusing or complicated, seek out a different instructor! If you are making a winter trip down to Scottsdale AZ, come see me at the beautiful Boulders Resort. http://www.theboulders.com and we can work together on simplifying your swing or short game.
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he majority of my winter students are folks who haven’t played for a while, weeks months, sometimes years. The first step is to make them comfortable in the golfing environment. A common request I get is “I just want to play reasonable and not embarrass myself”. A legitimate goal! We will work on fundamentals to help you hit the ball better; keeping it simple.
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more specific goal such as “I want to get rid of my slice,” is also a very common request. Again keeping the information practical but understandable, the correct diagnosis and correction, helps simplify the process. I love to hear the feedback”oh that feels easier ,“ or “now I know what to work on, that makes sense”. I have to keep the message simple so that you can grasp it quickly, see some immediate improvement, which encourages you to keep working on it. A ‘quick fix’ doesn’t necessarily mean only a temporary fix. Some folks call it a ‘band aid’. A quick fix is making the correct diagnosis and applying the correct fix, thought, feel, or picture. Maybe the phrase ‘tune up’ is better. Either way, make sure you are keeping your routine, thought process and most importantly ‘in- swing’ keys ( that means when you are actually over the ball, ready to give it a rip!) SIMPLE. I look forward to seeing you in the valley of the sun, Scottsdale, AZ
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The Road Paved With Good Intentions
Brent Dunstan
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t would be a pretty cynical person who believes that Prime Minister Trudeau's first thought when he wakes up in the morning is, "What can I do to ruin Canada today?" Whether one agrees with, or even likes the Prime Minister, one would have to be pretty jaded to truly feel that he doesn't sincerely mean well. Even in the hyper-partisan environment in which politicians currently ply their trade, it takes a particularly deep sense of enmity to look at one's political opponents, and maintain they don't have good intentions. One can vehemently disagree with another's politics, policies, and philosophy, without questioning his or her motivations. In the case of our Prime Minister, and his Government, while I certainly don't question his sincerity, his path is becoming increasingly littered with the wreckage of well intentioned but either poorly implemented, badly communicated, or Ill-conceived ideas. However, as the saying goes, the road paved with good intentions leads to a rather unfortunate destination.
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ith what has become considerable regularity, the Liberal Government's promises, platform, and policy initiatives have been outright abandoned, dramatically altered, or, rather embarrassingly, attempted, only to be forced by a variety of means to be climbed down from, walked back, or even sweetened to appease the naysayers, a constituency that has grown in size, volume, and ferocity. The fumbles are happening with such frequency and consistency, they have become impossible to ignore. The legendary U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt once said, "To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." If there is one common element in each episode of our current Federal Government's
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mistakes, missteps, miscalculations, and misfires, a thread that ties all of them together, it is this; they have failed to realize, or more disconcerting, failed to heed one fundamental truth regarding each. Rather than dissect one of these episodes in detail, here for your consideration is a selection, far from exhaustive, but a substantial sample, along with explanation of the truth that was overlooked or ignored.
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n the subject of the Indigenous file, about which the Prime Minister made rather bold and definitive promises, this truth stands. The concerns of Canada’s Indigenous Peoples are far more complex and serious than can be resolved by broad generalities and vague commitments delivered with a cheery disposition at a photo opp. While this may be a truth that the Liberal government is beginning to realize, what with the assignment of two Cabinet Ministers to the file, so far broad ith regard generalities and grip and grins are mostly to electoral what has seen the light of reform, and the Prime day. The Minister's It’s the small abuses implementation of assertion that the each and every of the public purse most recent federal recommendation of that indicates the election would be the Truth & the last decided by larger problem, and Reconciliation the "first past the Commission has truly angers post" method, I offer proven (not this truth. There was Canadians; surprisingly) absolutely no way untenable, and the National Inquiry into that there was going to be consensus Missing and Murdered Indigenous about an alternative among the major Women is entirely adrift, shedding political parties in particular, or for that members right and left, and probably matter, Canadians in general. Each of exacerbating the problems. While the the Parties currently represented in the people affected by all of this have had House of Commons would have their what they are referred to as evolve over interests best served by different electime from Indian, to Native, to First toral methods, and while each would Nations, to Aboriginal, to Indigenous, I not get it's preferred method, there was suspect that over the same time, they absolutely no way the opposition parties have become quite used to being sold were going to allow the implementation Continued on Page 44 of a preferential ballot method, virtually assuring a steady, unending diet of Liberal governments. Electoral reform was abandoned, citing lack of consensus. Since it is unlikely there will ever be consensus, the current system remains. However it is worth noting that in Canada the “first past the post” system has, despite its imperfections, produced one of the most stable democracies in the world over the course of our existence. The fact that a rookie MP was given the task of shepherding such a complex and paradigm altering endeavour, suggests the PM either didn't understand the truth that no consensus would be found, or perhaps understood it all too well.
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Shared Parenting, Where are we at? wants to have parenting half the time, mechanics of dealing with it in the court it is unlikely, and most judges are pretty process. The vast majority of people that quick to recognize it as an attempt to have equal parenting time with their reduce child support. children are the ones that settle their separation or divorce without ever going to court. Usually once court documents o what do you do if you want to do are filed, that means there is some shared parenting? Well, I would say degree of conflict. Shared parenting does the first thing would be to try to avoid not work particularly well when there is court. When matters are concluded and conflict. The caveat to it being best for an agreement reached, the children to see both parents as much as arrangements can be finalized by an possible is that the children are not uncontested appearance. The only exposed to conflict in so doing. The caveat to that would be that occasionally Courts have recognized this, and today one runs into a judge that has a very are loath to award shared parenting strong where there is conflict between the negative opinion as to shared parenting, parents. Experience has shown that and it can be difficult to get such an orthey are just back to court every three der entered, even by consent. This is not to six months over matters that they frequent, most are aware that it is in the can’t settle amongst themselves, such as extra-curricular activities or holidays. The best interests of the children if there is no parenCourt solves that A judge tal conflict. Likely as time problem by just giving isn’t going goes by and there is more one parent day to day awareness of the actual to force parenting. Sadly, if research and benefits to parents can’t see eye children to children, this will change. to eye, the Court won’t live in a war Judges are human beings, award shared parentand cannot be blamed for zone. ing, and that puts the importing their personal parties in a situation background and experiences. A judge where it is an “all or nothing” where one doesn’t get to see the many parents that or the other is going to get day to day happily and successfully have shared care and the other access. While in the parenting, because they don’t come to past this primary parent was almost always mom, as time goes on progressive court. Someone can only sit in Court for so many years hearing the applications judges look at each situation on its own of parties that have attempted shared merits, and award day to day parenting parenting and failed before it starts to on the basis of what is best for the child, make sense to just deny it altogether. not on any pre-conceived gender bias. That being said, however, if two parents have worked by consent in a shared dded into the mix in all of the above parenting arrangement for a year or so is child support. Shared parenting after separation, there have been no usually means a child support reduction court applications or difficulties, and they or “set-off” type arrangement. Sadly, I see want to confirm it in an order, a decision a lot of family law litigation that by a Judge to refuse to do that is probably has at its root a desire to minimize or maximize support, rather probably readily and easily appeal-able than what is best for the kids. One of the So, what if both parents do not consent factors in shared parenting is the or don’t get along? Then it probably isn’t involvement of each parent with the going to happen. One thing the research children prior to the separation. Where is fairly definitive on is that separation or both parents have been involved with divorce itself is not actually that bad for the children while they were still kids. It’s the conflict that is the problem. together, shared parenting is often in the If sharing parenting is going to lead to children’s best interests. But where one more conflict than the Continued on Page 46 parent has been absent for most of the children’s lives and only upon separation
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Scott Stenbeck Law Columnist
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t is very common for someone to come see me, and when I ask what they would like to do for parenting arrangements after separation, for them to tell me “I want to do a week on, a week off”. Unfortunately, it is not always that simple.
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n my experience, shared parenting was given a lot more frequently by the Courts in contested proceedings fifteen years ago. Depending on who you ask, you will hear two different main opinions on what is in a child’s best interests. I have heard some say very passionately that the research is that children need “stability” and that is best achieved by having one place as the primary household, and the other parent having access. There is other research, however, that indicates that it is in children’s best interests to have as much contact with both parents as possible, and that while “stability” is important, the stability that is important is not a physical stability in terms of where a child goes after school every day, but actually an emotional and psychological stability by having as full a relationship with each parent as possible, subject to that not being the case if one parent is abusive or unable to parent well. The latter view is espoused by prominent researchers like Dr. Warren Farrell, that have looked at 30 years of data from separated families to find out what has led to raising the healthiest adult children of divorce.
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nfortunately, while having as much time with both parents is likely what is actually best for children, there are the
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Self-Indulgence versus Self-Love Registered Clinical Psychologist
purchases in the backs of our closets, items never used or worn that may even still have the tags on them? But how long does the feeling of excitement that comes from having something new last? And how long will it be until we are maxing out the credit card to buy another item that we believe we simply “must have”?
Dr. Wendy Froberg
Psy. D.,R.Psych. Clinical Psychologist Columnist frobergw@shaw.ca
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he Bhuddist concept of metta refers to “loving kindness” applied to n the west, we tend to believe that, ourselves. It means something very in order to change something we don’t different from the self-indulgence so like about ourselves, we must hate that many of us fall victim to in our confused part, attacking it with loathing, shame efforts to ease our pain and feel and disgust. We assume that, we were to worthwhile and special. Designer accept our shortcomings, we would be clothing labels, status symbol cars or giving ourselves carte blanche to electronics and expensive real-estate continue living the same way or would (that often cause us to live beyond our be expressing approval of our undesired means) are real traps for anyone lacking behaviors or qualities. Our culture is in self-love. And indulgence goes beyond full of messages that we only change material things. through force, as Anytime we continue summarized in that to knowingly do We cope by “filling old-style fitness adage, something that is ourselves up” “no pain, no harmful to our body, but this provides gain”. How ever did we come heart, mind or soul, an unsatisfying, to believe that we can get we are being “quick-fix”. the best out of anyone, self-indulgent. When including our self, through we lose ourselves in abuse, punishment or fantasies about how perfect humiliation? life will be when we are _______ (fill in the blank) while engaging in the same old destructive patterns, we are being t the same time, we often self-indulgent. Breaking commitments hear mes sages about how much we you have made to yourself is deserve to reward ourselves when we’ve self-indulgent, as is failing to ask for help been struggling, someone was mean to when you need it. us or we just had a bad day. In the same
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we truly be generous or gentle with ourselves? Not having a healthy foundation of self-love leads to a chronic fear of not having enough or not being good enough. We cope by “filling ourselves up” with food we are not hungry for or clothes and toys we don’t need or even want. We “hoard” them on our body or hide them in the back of the closet, but this provides an unsatisfying, “quick-fix” at best.
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top being afraid that to show genuine compassion, tenderness or generousity toward yourself will lead you to become lazy or complacent, lose your motivation or fail to achieve your goals. Practice acts of self-kindness everyday and begin to see how these differ from self-indulgent ones.
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way that we turn to food to soothe our distressed feelings, we often seek solace through “pampering” ourselves with material goods. Who hasn’t indulged in a little “retail therapy” after a conflict with the boss or husband? Not that it is inherently wrong to enjoy goods or experiences that bring you comfort or pleasure. It is when we use the instant gratification and “lift” that a purchase gives us to avoid dealing with our real feelings and their source that we get into trouble. How many of us have impulsive
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n the other hand, self-kindness occurs when we stop doing what is harmful to ourselves and when we defend ourselves from attack, even if it comes from within. We practice self-love when we ask for help, rest when we need to and are honest with ourselves. Self-love does not mean that we fail to hold ourselves to realistic standards of behavior or to act in ways that lead to a loss of self- respect. When we operate from a position of self-hatred, how can
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Continued from Page38
The Road Paved With Good Intentions
a bill of goods, albeit this time the same old same old is being peddled with a more sunny disposition, but just as lacking in substance.
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hile military procurement is always a challenge, the promise the PM made during the election campaign to reject purchasing the F-35 fighters the previous Conservative Government had decided upon, may prove embarrassingly difficult to keep. Said difficulty is entirely due to the Government’s own actions, and failure to grasp one basic truth - a government giving money to a private business is called a subsidy, no matter how one attempts to shade it. It’s challenging to come up with adequate adjectives to properly describe the degree to which this matter has been botched, or how completely
~ the current Liberal Government has painted itself into a corner ~ At the outset, the Prime Minister campaigned on a contradictory premise that his government would hold an open competition for new fighters for the RCAF, while explicitly promising to exclude the F35s that were slated to be purchased at the time. This being an aircraft which Canada, along with 8 other allied nations, contributed to the development of, both financially and technologically, for the expressed purpose of producing a common use aircraft that would allow for simplicity and cooperation among allies within mutual theatres of operation. This exclusion, essentially thrust Boeing Super Hornets into a commanding lead in the race, with any other alternative being an afterthought at best.
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ut a funny thing happened on the way to getting Boeing going. Boeing, a competitor of Quebec based Bombardier in the civilian aircraft market, had their fill of watching various levels of Government pour literally billions of dollars (with a b) into Bombardier’s C series program, and its subsequent selling of deeply discounted planes. They took legal action against Bombardier under existing trade rules, citing improper government subsidies. In a pique of righteous indignation, our PM and his chorus of Cabinet Ministers concluded they wouldn’t do business with a company who was suing “us”. (For as much as the use of the plural pronoun “us” communicates that the Liberal Government sees itself inextricably linked to Bombardier and serves as an effectual admission of guilt.) Rather than cut its losses and take its lumps, Bombardier quite literally gave control (along with a significant portion of the interest our tax money had bought) to French owned Airbus, another Boeing competitor, so their planes final assembly could be completed in a US based Airbus plant, circumventing trade barriers and thereby sticking it to Boeing. Further, the Government‘s plans to buy any Boeing Super Hornets were cancelled. In a stunning example of just how averse
this Government is to eating crow, its solution to the need to replace the RCAF’s near-end-of-life F-18s is to buy Australia’s near-end-of-life F-18s. Australia, for their part, is replacing the used planes they are selling to Canada with, you guessed it, brand new F-35s, given they have the common sense to buy the plane they too invested in developing along with Canada, but don’t have the pesky political problem of having a Prime Minister who vowed never to buy them. Now our PM is in the position of having to choose between buying Boeing fighters from a company he said was not a trusted partner, buying the F35s he said he would never buy despite the myriad of reasons why it’s the sensible choice, or buy a European or South American developed fighter, which, for Canada’s current needs and purposes, would be the equivalent of an NHL team using its first overall draft pick to select an obscure player from a German beer league. But this is exactly where our Air Force finds itself, because our Government couldn’t have foreseen its financially propping up Bombardier would be seen as unfair within the global aerospace industry, and contravening existing trade agreements.
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any of the Liberal Government’s faux pas require far less explanation, despite being far more complex. In reference to the Government’s much maligned revision of tax rules for individuals operating their businesses under numbered companies, they overlooked this truth. It was going to be inordinately easy to paint their plan as more harmful than helpful, and portray the central figures as a couple of out-of-touch rich politicians penalizing the success of hard working middle class entrepreneurs. While the practice of income sprinkling is somewhat sketchy by most people’s judgment, passiveinvestment income affords business owners (particularly small business owners) a means to provide for themselves the very types of things the Liberal Government claims to be trying to provide for their much ballyhooed middle class - paid parental leave, paid sick time, sufficient retirement savings, etc. This misadventure also unearthed L’affaire Morneau. Continued on Page49
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Continued from Page 40
Shared Parenting, Where are we at?
children just having a primary residence that the children are in their care? If the with one parent, a judge isn’t going to kids are just going to be in daycare for force children to live the week that one Shared parenting in a war zone. Often I parent has them, while takes a lot of work will have someone the other parent has by both parties, approach me and the flexibility to say they want to do a actually be with them and it is something “week on, week off”, during that time, it that both parents but the only way they probably doesn’t make should think about can stand to sense. Can the children carefully. communicate with the remain in the same other parent is via text extra-curricular activities in each paror email, they can’t even sit together at ent’s care? Is there consistency in school an event for the child, or there have been work and homework at each home? If three interim applications to set they are older, as the peer group is more Christmas holidays, to decide whether important, can they associate with their the child does hockey or judo, and to friends in each place? Do the parents decide where the child goes to school. That is not a shared parenting situation. However, for parties that think it is a good idea to be difficult with the other parent so that shared parenting won’t occur, I would say beware. I have seen more than one parent surprised as they leave the court room to find that they are not going to be, or are no longer, the day to day care parent. The Court will look at who is creating conflict versus who is acting in the best interests of the child, as well as who is likely to facilitate the relationship with the other parent if they have day to day care, and as time goes on, judges are realizing more and more that gender is not a predictor of who is the best parent. While conflict may take shared parenting off the table, it puts the matter into an all or nothing situation, and it is a huge risk to have the potential to be marginalized to a weekend parenting roll for a parent has previously been very involved with the children.
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also advise people to be realistic and consider the logistics. While equal time with both parents is a worthy and noble goal and probably the best for the kids if there is no conflict, do the parties live close enough together to allow it to happen? Does each parent have space for the children for a protracted period of care beyond just an access visit? Does each parent have the ability to actually be with the children for most of the time
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really communicate well enough to make it happen? In a lot of shared parenting arrangements, the parents talk every day.
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o I suppose in sum, shared parenting is still around, and not uncommon, but there is more to it than just swapping the kids every Sunday evening at 6:00. It takes a lot of work by both parties, and it is something that both parents should think about carefully, but if parents can make it work without conflict, subject to getting the courts to ok it, it is probably something that their children will thank them for in the years to come.
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The Road Paved With Good Intentions
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y all accounts, Finance Minister Bill Morneau is a fairly decent, well-meaning guy who now likely rues the day he decided to trade his private sector Bay Street career for a public service Wellington Street one. He’s very rich even by very rich people’s standards, which perhaps contributed to his inability to see the fundamental truth that brought about his being drawn and quartered in the House and in the press. One cannot portray people who employ numbered companies for their business purposes as tax cheats and scoundrels, while holding the one of the highest political/financial offices in the land, and then get caught employing numbered companies for ones own business purposes. To be fair, Mr. Morneau did follow the minimum interpretation of the rules regarding his millions of dollars worth of shares in his family company, despite being advised that it could prove problematic. However, the mandate letter he received from the Prime Minister after being named to Cabinet included instructions that “the arrangement of your private affairs should bear the closest public scrutiny. This is an obligation that is not fully discharged by simply acting within the law”. In light of this, both his own and the Prime Minister’s defense of his actions as merely following the rules and direction of the Ethics Commissioner rang rather hollow, given the higher ethical standards the Liberals claimed they were going to uphold.
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nd while the Liberal Government was attempting to split the “Pot Taxes” with the Provinces 50-50 - You can’t expect to collect half the money, without bearing half the costs; while the Prime Minister was offending potential trade agreement partners - If you understand China at all, you know it will not be lectured to, thank you very much; while Liberals were seeking reintegration rather than justice regarding returning ISIS fighters - You don’t get to leave Canada to go fight for a faction that goes out of its way to commit murderous atrocities and purposefully breaks the conventions of war, and then
Continued from Page 45
painful to watch him answer a question that a summer intern, much less the Prime Minister, could have seen coming from the minute he got back from Bells Cay. In regard to accepting a free vacation from a friend who was a known lobbyist, the question, “How did it not occur to you that might not have been okay?” was posed to him. To watch our Prime Minister progress from baffled silence, to befuddled confusion, having to literally begin his answer, stop and state out loud that he has to reorder his thoughts, and then proceed to baffle-gab a nearly A Prime incoherent string of banal talking points proves he Minister is Christmas vacation failed to apprehend the cannot to the private evident truth. A Prime merely avoid Caribbean island of the Minister cannot merely avoid conflict of Aga Khan, and the conflict of interest; a Prime resulting investigation by interest Minister must avoid even the Ethics Commissioner, the appearance of due to both the rules conflict of interest. Simply put, surrounding what a holder of a high he must adhere to the same standards office such as Prime Minister can and he prescribed to his Cabinet Ministers cannot accept as a gift, as well as the upon their appointment. And he cannot appearance of potential conflicts of presume to be entitled to such privilege. interest and undue influence given the It was clearly lost on him that even after Aga Khan’s organization regularly lobbies being found guilty of being in breach of the Canadian Government for funding, ethics rules, he could be held at fault for proved to be a political nightmare for something he evidently dismissed as no Mr. Trudeau. The year began with the real concern. PMO unwilling to answer the most basic questions about it, and ended with the he British historian and academic PM unable to answer the most basic Maurice Cowling once said that questions about it. What came to light "Liberalism is essentially the belief that in the course of the investigation was there can be a reconciliation of all more than troublesome. Despite Prime difficulties and differences, and since Minister Trudeau’s characterization of there can't, it is a misleading way to his relationship with the Aga Khan as a lifelong friend, the 30 year gap in contact approach politics". Observing the performance of Prime Minister Trudeau wasn’t reestablished until the PM had and his Liberal Government’s attempts at become involved in politics. The Prime Minister and/or his family had vacationed being everything for everybody, sincere on the island not once, but 3 times in the and well-meaning as they may be, has recent past, and it was the PM’s wife who done little, if anything, other than prove Cowling correct. The Prime Minister and initiated and requested the most recent trip, as opposed to being invited directly. his Government would be well advised to place as much or more focus on the Standing invitation or not, the optics of consequences and results of their actively seeking out such favour from an policies, initiatives, and actions, as they established lobbyist are terrible. Worse seem to place on their intentions and yet was the spectacle of the Prime appearances. Minister attempting to answer questions Brent when he was inevitably found guilty of breaching ethics rules. It was almost come back to Canada to nothing more then some counseling and a stern warning to be good; while the Government was spending $212,000 on a cover for its most recent budget for “marketing purposes” - It’s the small abuses of the public purse that indicates the larger problem, and truly angers Canadians; it was the controversy that both started and ended 2017 that perhaps best illustrates how the Prime Minister’s intentions, while likely well meaning, were ill-advised, and how sincerely he missed the point.
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SpotLight is Proud to Introduce Nathalie Plamondon as our New Columnist Biography
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ounder of the THINK Yourself™ ACADEMY, Speaker, Master Life Coach and No.1 Best Selling Author of 7 books on wellness and empowerment, Nathalie accumulated over 25 years of experience in sales all while she was actively energizing the Fitness Industry for over 30 years as a Fitness Instructor, Personal Trainer and Nutrition & Wellness Specialist. She combines her fitness and sales strengths with neuroscience and the brain programming processes she practices as a Master Practitioner in NLP.
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Nathalie Plamondon-Thomas www.thinkyourself.com www.dnalifecoaching.com Speaker. Master Coach #1 Best Selling Author nathalie@dnalifecoaching.com
he retrains your brain to allow you to take charge of your own life and get inspire from within. ''You can take a horse to water but you can't make him drink''.
778-899-0260
“Somehow, Nathalie can.”
DETOX YOUR BRAIN
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etox usually gets associated with food, meal plans, diets, cures or magic products. Although food is one of the factors to consider for a successful detox, it is important to also consider the respective role of the mind, relationships and exercise for a complete detox.
IT’S IN YOUR HEAD
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If you would like a complementary subscription delivered toyour email every month email us at spotlight magazine@sh aw.c a
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oxins don't only come from the environment and poor nutrition. Negative emotions are also responsible. Let's say you have an argument with someone. At the time, your brain reacts by flooding your body with toxins. We think this only happens once, at the time of the event. Every time you think about the argument, now in the past, and re-live the event over and over in your head, your brain keeps releasing toxins in your body, every time.
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onsciously clear your mind of negative thoughts and leave the past in the past. In order to detox, consciously choose what you want to think about and steer away from re-living old negative experiences. (cont)
DETOX YOUR BRAIN
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hen something happens to you that makes you chose to respond negatively, switch your emotion to a state of excitement. Instead of staying stuck in the negative emotion, like anger, fear or anxiety, repeat in your head that you are excited as these negative emotions are always a sign that you are being put in a learning opportunity. Anxiety and excitement are both generated in the pre-frontal cortex area of the brain. Our brain actually doesn’t really know the difference between both. When feeling anxious, get excited instead. Tell yourself you are excited about this opportunity to grow.
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hat would happen if you were to stay stuck in the event, stay angry and then tell other people about your bad experience? Guess what? Not only you get flooded with toxins again, but you are also polluting the friend that you are telling the negative story to. Your intention is surely not to intoxicate your friend, but that is exactly what you are doing when you tell someone about the guy that cut you off on the highway. Their brain reacts by sending toxins in their body.
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ho in your life is constantly causing your brain to release unwanted toxins in your body? Are there any conversations you could orientate differently, instead of feeding the fire of a negative conversation, how can you change the subject to something more positive? Ask them what they would like instead if they keep rambling on the same problems over and over. Guide them towards their learning experience.
What is in your life that is constantly causing your brain to release unwanted toxins in your body?
ind what is the positive learning that will come out of this. Time shift yourself in the future and look back. Ask yourself what you will be saying about this years from now. That this was the day when you learned that ….. (fill in the blank). Do this every time you feel that you are stepping out of your comfort zone. Experiences and “stuff” are not happening to us in order to ruin our day or to make us upset. They are designed to make us become the person we ought to be. A challenge always means that you are getting to the next level of your growing journey.
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his explains why we experience fear watching scary movies, we cry watching sappy stories and we pollute ourselves with negative emotions when watching violent or graphic television shows. Our brain doesn’t know that it is not happening to us. Start watching comedies and kids’ movies and notice how your life transforms.
Relationships
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im Rhon says it best: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Pay attention to whom you are surrounding yourself with. If you aspire to be a successful entrepreneur, you may want to reconsider spending all your time with your three buddies that are barely making month end and constantly complaining about life. If you want a happy marriage and you surround yourself with newly divorced single people complaining about their exes, it won’t be long until you find something wrong with your spouse.
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f you notice your attempts to brighten the situation with some people seems vain, how can you distant your interaction with them? Hang out with people that feed your positive side and make you feel great! Who do you want to be the average of?
Exercise
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oving and being active is also known to make you feel great and keep you young! Exercise creates the perfect conditions for you to breath new oxygen, circulate and move the unwanted waste around and sweat the toxins out. Exercise also allows you to experience a pleasurable endorphins release. So you get rid of toxins and replace them by positive feel-good sensations.
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o know more about endorphins and other feel-good chemicals, you can read our next article next month: Get your D.O.S.E. of good stress.
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