SURPRISE by JIMMY LO
Yeah, get in. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll drive.
Well, kind of. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll find out.
No. It’s not that far. It’s not even as far as your mother’s house.
No, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not that. No.
OK, fine. If you really need to know, we’re going to the doctor’s.
No, I’m fine. Everything’s fine.
Just a little adjustment, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all.
It will be quick. It wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even hurt.
First, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gonna apply a salve around my neck. It will burn for a bit, but then it will feel cool under the wind. Then he will make a tiny incision and that is where he will place my new head.
Yes. Are you excited?
No, the new head will be made from real human tissue, cells recombined from other body parts that have grown out of cultures.
Yes, eyes, ears, a nose and a mouth, just like my current head, and just as much mine. Only it will be smaller.
The size of a tennis ball or a fist.
It will be just as much a part of me as any other part of my body. Think of it like an extra guest bedroom in the house.
Don’t worry. You’ll get used to it.
No, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t afford. I got that raise, remember?
Of course it will be good-looking!
Anyway, when I get use it to kiss you. Exce on the mouth of your you on the mouth
my new head, I will pt, I will not kiss you old head, I will kiss of your new head.
Oh, you didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know?
Yeah, I shouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve waited to tell you.
Well, first, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll apply a salve all around your neck. It wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t burn for long and then it will feel cool as the wind blows on it.
If there is no wind, I will blow on it softly to emulate the wind.
I will blow on it with my own new mouth.
A tiny incision will then be made. Do you have a preference where?
OK, there it shall be then, implanted precisely, the size of a tennis ball, and just as much a part of you as your old head.
Yes, made from cultures of your own cells from other body parts.
The bladder, for instance.
Of course, silly! Do you think I would allow your new head to be ugly?
This doctor is good, believe me. Anyway, when we both get new heads, my new head will kiss your new head. My new tongue in my new mouth will reach out and kiss your new tongue in your new mouth.
Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t ask me that. How would I know how it would feel? Probably similar to when we kiss with our old tongues, but we havenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tried that, have we?
Anyway, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s useless to speculate.
We are just imagining it from the perspectives of our old heads, but clearly that is inadequate. After all, we will both have a new brain to go with our new heads, and that will help us imagine it better.
When we kiss it will be like two new people kissing, who are not us, but are a part of us, people who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t exist, and who donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t even know they will exist.
Of course it counts. They will be a part of us, remember?
It will be as if we
It will be exactly because thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s will be. Just not exists
were kissing. No, wait. like we were kissing exactly what it a part of us that yet.
Yes, well, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why we waited this long. A kiss is a special thing.
Oh, stop it, darling. I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell you everything, now, can I?
Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s all a part of the surprise.
WHAT DID YOU THINK? firstname.lastname@example.org jimmylorunning.com