Women@Work September/October 2014 by Times Union Magazines

The Power Ask: Getting What You Want â&#x20AC;&#x201D; see page 39 for our seminar details.

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September/October 2014

The Next Chapter: Post-Retirement Entrepreneurs

Questions to ask your interviewer Rhea Drysdale

CEO, Outspoken Media

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OPENING SEPTEMBER 18 AT C R O S S G AT E S M A L L

Publisher George R. Hearst III Editorial Janet Reynolds, Executive Editor Brianna Snyder, Associate Editor Katie Pratt, Editorial Intern Design Tony Pallone, Design Director Colleen Ingerto, Emily Jahn, Designers Contributing Writers Kristi Barlette, Molly Belmont, Jennifer Gish, Leigh Hornbeck, Corey Jamison, Jayne Keedle, Stacey Morris, Katie Pratt, Anne Saile, Cari Scribner, Joel N. Sussman Contributing Photographers Lori Van Buren, Nicole Campon, John Carl D’Annibale, Emily Jahn, Cindy Schultz Sales Kurt Vantosky, Sr. Vice President, Sales & Marketing Kathleen Hallion, Vice President, Advertising Tom Eason, Manager, Display Advertising Michael-Anne Piccolo, Retail Sales Manager Jeff Kiley, Magazine Sales Manager Circulation Todd Peterson, Vice President, Circulation Dan Denault, Home Delivery Manager Business Nick Gagliardo, Chief Financial Officer TimesUnion.com Paul Block, Executive Producer Women@Work Advisory Board: Anne Saile†, chair; Marri Aviza†, Kristen Berdar†, Debra Best†, Nancy CareyCassidy†, Andrea Crisafulli-Russo†, Kathleen Godfrey†, Tammis Groft, Ann Hughes†, Julie Massry Knox, Theresa Marangas†, Frances O’Rourke, Lydia Rollins†, Curran Streett†, Joella Viscusi, Karen Webley, Kirsten Wynn †

Advisory Board founding members

Capital Region Women@Work is published six times per year. If you are interested in receiving home delivery of Capital Region Women@Work magazine, please call (518) 454-5768 or visit capregionwomenatwork. com. For advertising information, please call (518) 454-5358. Capital Region Women@Work is published by Capital Newspapers and Times Union 645 Albany Shaker Road, Albany, NY 12212 518.454.5694 The entire contents of this magazine are copyright 2014 by Capital Newspapers. No portion may be reproduced in any means without written permission of the publisher. Capital Newspapers is a wholly owned subsidiary of The Hearst Corporation.

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Contents September/October 2014

www.capregionwomenatwork.com

@ WORK 12 Bitstream

41 Will You Endorse Me?

16 Tips from the Top 25 things I would say to my 25-year-old self

18 On the Cover Outspoken Media’s Rhea Drysdale

20 I Did It Kimberley Comiskey’s Latham spa makes you feel like you’re at home

24 Home Away From Home The Ronald McDonald House helps families deal with challenging illnesses

28 Starting a Nonprofit Some points to consider before you jump in

30 The Next Chapter Considering career and business options after “retirement”

34 What Do I Do Now? How to succeed if you’ve just been promoted

39 If You Ask Sometimes …

What to do if you don’t want to write a recommendation letter

43 Just Ask The questions you should be asking on the interview

@ HOME 47 Moms@Work Those things we don’t talk about … but should

48 Meals on the Go Rachel Fleischman Mabb brings seasonal dishes to the Ruck

50 Sandwiched Between Tips for managing your aging parents and your life

52 There’s No Place Like Home What to do with the Boomerang Kids

54 Getting Away Cape May, New Jersey

58 The Last Word Three tips for current job-seekers

You just might get what you need

“

Always behave like a duck: keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.

 ON THE COVER: Rhea Drysdale. Photo by Lori Van Buren. 8 | women@work

”

— Rhea Drysdale’s favorite quote (read her story on pg. 16)

Is your company in this issue? Albany Medical Center �� 20 Albany-Colonie Regional Chamber of Commerce �� 30, 41 Capital District Human Resources Professionals �� 39 Charter Oak Consulting Group �� .39 Deb Best Practices �� 34, 43 Fusco Personnel �� 43 General Electric �� 34 Innovative Charitable Initiatives �� 28 Kimberley’s A Day Spa �� 20 MicroKnowlege Inc. �� 58 New York Council of Nonprofits �� 28 Next-Act �� 30 Outspoken Media �� 18 Overit �� 41 Performance Matters, Inc. �� 30 Pinnacle Human Resources �� 43 Prendo Forensics LLC �� 58 Ronald McDonald House Charities �� 20 Saile Group, LLC �� 12 Salem Art Works �� 28 Sawchuk Brown Associates �� 30 Siena College �� 30, 58 The Ruck �� 48 Troy Little Italy Association �� 34 Walrath Recruiting Inc. �� 58 WAMC Northeast Public Radio �� 41 Your Communication Authority �� 39

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EDITOR'S NOTE

Women Connect

e’ve got exciting news this month! Women@Work is taking it to the next level, creating a membership program that will give women in the Capital Region more access to the information they need and to each other. Extending the options for ways in which area women connect has been part of our plan since we launched the magazine two years ago. Now the day is finally here to implement our vision! Individual membership, which will cost $25, will include the magazine, of course — conveniently mailed to your home as always. But your membership will get you so much more: an exclusive email newsletter filled with local business information and career tips, discounts from

area advertisers, special discounts at paid Connect events, as well as first alerts about upcoming events and a discount at Curved Line Living seminars presented by Christel and Colin MacLean (curvedlineliving.com). You’ll be able to sign up for your Women@ Work membership starting on Sept. 17. Just go to capitalregionwomenatwork.com/ subscribe. If you want a sample of the kinds of events you’ll be getting notices about, come to our breakfast Sept. 10 at the Desmond, 7:30-9 a.m. Sponsored by the Women@ Work Advisory Board, the breakfast will feature panelists Lisa Giruzzi, Cathy Crosky and Anne Reis on The Power Ask: Getting What You Want and Need. See our promo on page 39 for details. See you there!

“OUR

Janet Reynolds Executive Editor jreynolds@timesunion.com

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BITSTREAM Compiled by Katie Pratt

Women Rule Top 4 important leadership qualities

Women

Ketchum attributes these findings to the “rise of a new ‘feminine’ model for leadership communication,” while the older, “macho” style loses appeal. Satisfaction with political leaders worldwide, 80 percent of whom are men, stands at 30 percent. Coincidence? Perhaps not. source: tinyurl.com/ww14macho

Communicating in an open and transparent way

Leading by example

43%

… and how women rank better at them than men

Men

57%

38% Women

Bringing out the best in others

62%

Admitting mistakes

Men

Women

61%

34%

39%

How to get people to answer your emails

Men

Women

Men

66%

ired of unanswered emails piling up in your Sent Mail? According to an article by Business Insider, the trick is to write a compelling subject line. President of marketing agency ShowMeLeads, Madhu Gulati, shared in a LinkedIn post, that a major factor of the perfect subject line is its length. She says that research in the Santa Clara, CA, area found that subject lines with six to ten words have the highest open rate, 21 percent. Subject lines with five words or fewer fall in the “too vague” category with a 16 percent open rate, while verbose subjects — 11 to 15 words — have just a 14 percent open rate. The takeaway: Conciseness and clarity pays when it comes to titling your emails. source: tinyurl.com/ww14answeremail

12 | women@work

Photos: Women Rule, Graphs by Emily Jahn; Email, Atomic Imagery/Getty Images; Relax, -VICTOR-/GettyImages.

ccording to a new survey from Ketchum Leadership Communication Monitor, women leaders are more effective than their “macho” male counterparts. The PR agency polled over 6,500 people in 13 countries, seeking information about political and corporate leadership. In the poll, participants ranked 14 leadership qualities by importance. In ten of these categories women outperformed men, leading sizably in the following top four skills:

Tips to help you relax when you give presentations

o you stress about losing your train of thought during a major presentation or client meeting? Lisa Marshall, public speaking coach and author of the new book, Smart Talk, is here to help you beat the blanking out and sweaty palms with some tips on how to calm your nerves before speaking.

1. Exercise to Stay Calm If you know you’re going to be public speaking, plan a good workout for earlier in the day or the night before. According to researchers at the Mayo Clinic, exercise can alleviate anxiety by releasing endorphins that make you feel better. Exercise also increases the body temperature, which has been shown to have a calming effect.

9 to 5

2. Be Prepared Being prepared is probably the best way to eradicate nerves before a big speaking engagement. Make sure you know what you’re going to say, and practice beforehand so that when you take the stage you’re ready to deliver. When you’ve prepared well, the sense of self-assurance will not be lost on your audience.

3. Make a Change to Calm Down During the Speech If you’re suffering from a nervous tick or mind blank during the presentation, don’t be afraid to take a break. While it might seem awkward to stop for a minute, a couple deep breaths or a pause to collect your thoughts is far less distracting than an entire speech of struggling.

4. Stay Hydrated Dry mouth is a well-known symptom of anxiety that’s plagued public speakers for ages. The secret? Drink plenty of water beforehand, and keep your water bottle with you during your speech.

5. Embrace the Energy Nervous energy doesn’t have to be a bad thing. In fact, good stress can help one focus and think more clearly. Think of your nerves as an adrenaline rush — one that will propel you forward and emit a sense of positive energy to your audience. Source: tinyurl.com/ww14pubspeaking

By Jeanne A. Benas

capregionwomenatwork.com | 13

BITSTREAM

Confident or Arrogant? (Take our quiz)

Please answer the following five questions with 1, 2 or 3: I often find myself surrounded by idiots. As a consequence, correcting others is something I frequently do. I never admit being wrong (even when I know I am). Even more, I tend to dismiss people in response to them dismissing my ideas. 1. Very recognizable 2. It may occur 3. Absolutely not How my behavior affects people around me is of no importance to me. I keep a clear distance. What others think and feel is their concern, not mine. It is my way or the highway. 1. Very recognizable 2. It may occur 3. Absolutely not

I love bragging about my personal achievements and all the important people I know and have worked with. Team triumphs are not what I believe in. It is a competitive world out there. You just have to be a little mean to be perceived as confident. 1. Very recognizable 2. It may occur 3. Absolutely not In a meeting, I give my opinion as if it is fact. After all, I am the expert in my domain. If it weren’t for my great ideas, valuable insights and solutions, I wouldn’t be on this position. As a confident person I always come up with an answer. Having no answer is no option. 1. Very recognizable 2. It may occur 3. Absolutely not Showing vulnerability is not done. There is no room for my personal past mistakes, limitations or fears. I also believe apologizing for things like being off-schedule is a sign of weakness. People will just have to accept that I am a busy person who’s always stretching schedules. 1. Very recognizable 2. It may occur 3. Absolutely not

14 | women@work

Now add up your scores. Total score 1 – 5 I’m afraid you might be radiating some serious arrogance from time to time. But then again, what others think of you is of no importance to you, is it? And I am sure it has worked out just fine for you. So why change your point of view? Tell me, what would happen if you did? Total score 6 – 10 You probably find yourself balancing on the fine line between confidence and arrogance. Can you take some time for self-reflection? Take a look at your own behavior in the next couple of days. In addition, ask some targeted feedback from your team members. Total score 11 – 15 Although you have a clear opinion on key issues, you know that listening to others may bring you new perspectives, ideas and possible solutions. Your team members will probably regard you as someone they like to be involved with. As in confident but not arrogant. source: tinyurl.com/ww14confidencequiz

Photos: GettyImages. Dogs, Catherine Ledner; Healthy foods, Tastyart Ltd Rob White.

e all know the line is thin between confidence and arrogance — and no one, unfortunately, has to tread that line more carefully than women in the workplace. If you’re worried that you’re teetering between self-assured and selfobsessed, here is a quiz from Project Eve to help you negotiate between the two.

Got Milk? A

new study published May 2014 on the effects of dairy consumption on knee osteoarthritis found drinking milk, rather than consuming other sources of calcium, can slow down the progression of the condition in women. Published in the journal of Arthritis Care and Research, the research enlisted 888 men and 1,260 women, ages 45 to 79, suffering from knee osteoarthritis to study the correlation between dairy consumption and joint space width. Researchers made note of how often the participants drank milk or ate cheese or yogurt, as well as their knee joint space width. After four years, they concluded that drinking low-fat or skim milk slowed the progression of the disease for women while cheese consumption did the opposite, increasing joint space in patients. source: tinyurl.com/ww14milk

The Nonprofit Wage Gap

ore women than men are running Massachusetts area nonprofits. But they are getting paid less, according to research conducted by Third Sector New England, a Bostonbased resource center for nonprofit organizations. Released in June 2014, the study shows a significant pay gap between men and women at the level of executive directors. Although 59 percent of nonprofit executive directors and chief executive officers surveyed were women, Third Sector found that female executives were earning an average of $106,000, compared to the male figure of $139,500. The discrepancy in pay was mostly due to a difference in the size of male and female-led organizations, as 75 percent of nonprofits with budgets under 250,000 have female executive directors, while 60 percent of nonprofits with budgets over 25 million have directors that are men. source: tinyurl.com/ww14nonprofitgap

TIPS FROM THE TOP Anne Saile is an award-winning CEO, entrepreneur, executive coach, author and owner of the Saile Group LLC, a leadership and business consulting company. For more information, visit sailegroup.com.

25 Things I Would Say to My 25-Year-Old Self

Photo by Andrea Uvanni

By Anne Saile

o you ever hear yourself saying, “If I knew then what I know now, I would have …”? When I was 25, I had graduated from college, launched my career and found my passion. I worked in a nonprofit, which rapidly grew under a CEO who became my first significant mentor. If I could sit down with that young, ambitious woman today, here are 25 things I would tell her.

1 Make a list of the five things you want

most in the world and think about why you want them — then ask if the job you have is going to help you get any of them.

2 Ask for help. 3 Be persistent. 4 Listen with your ears and your eyes —

you’re more likely to get the whole picture.

5 Learn as much as you can about as

Nurture the friendships that you make when you are 25 — you will be surprised to find out how many of those people will still be in your life and able to help you 25 years later. Rejoice in their success as much as you do your own.

p.m. seven days a week does not make him or her smarter or more productive than you; it makes them more likely to burn out.

10 Make plenty of time for your family,

19 Try to learn what everyone goes

especially your parents and grandparents — they won’t be around forever and they have a lot of support and experience to share. I planned on having my own mother around until she was in her late 80s, thought I had plenty of time. She died at 63. I could make a list of a thousand questions that I never got to ask her.

The best connections come from personal contact — not an email.

12 Be more concerned with doing something well than with doing it fast. Speed does not equal quality.

many things as you can. Just because you are done with school does not mean that you’re finished learning.

Be brave, practice courage, keep innovation high on the agenda, and strive to make the exceptional real.

6 You will be most successful if you

14 When faced with a very difficult deci-

learn how to write and speak well — even better if you can speak in public and learn to enjoy it.

7 Put yourself first. Eat right, exercise, take time off to have fun — no one will ever be able to do that for you. Don’t put it off.

Don’t confuse what you do for a living for who you are as a person. Never wear your job title like a cloak.

9 Success never happens by doing something all alone — it’s impossible. Really. 16 | women@work

sion, ask yourself if you could explain it to the world on the six o’clock news — either now or in 30 years. If the answer is no, rethink how you are handling things.

15 No matter what is happening, if you are in a leadership position, people are counting on you to stay calm.

16 The longer you hang on to a bad idea, the harder it is to let it go.

17 Don’t confuse effort with results. Just

because someone works from 7 a.m. until 7

18 Practice patience with yourself and others.

home to at the end of the day — you will become more compassionate.

20 Never yell at anyone. EVER. People

never recover from this. You remember the leaders you have worked with who admit that they made a mistake and try to make it right far longer than the ones who never admit that they are sorry for something they did.

21 Be the first to forgive — really for-

give. Chances are it will make working with that person again a whole lot easier.

22 Walk away from gossip. Don’t listen to it. Don’t participate in it.

23 Keep a journal of every accomplish-

ment, award and promotion — it will help you to build your resume.

24 Never compromise your standards. 25 No matter how awful something

seems today, it will get better. You will get over it. I would also tell my 25-year-old self to always keep your eyes open for challenges — they are there to help you grow. If there is something facing you that you fear you can’t handle, that is most likely the very thing that will catapult your career in the direction of the greatest success. W

ON THE COVER

Finding the Right Words Outspoken Media’s Rhea Drysdale By Brianna Snyder | Photo by Lori Van Buren

ot many people can say they started their own company -—and were successful — at 26. Rhea Drysdale can. Drysdale had landed a few jobs since she graduated from the University of North Florida in 2004, with a degree in communications and advertising. She worked “for agencies, startups and Fortune 1000 companies,” she says. “I kind of job-hopped, trying to find my way. I thought, What’s wrong with me that I don’t like any of these jobs?” Though she was strengthening her skills and learning tons about searchengine optimization (SEO), she found that she was running into dysfunctional or difficult management. “My dad said, ‘Why don’t you start your own company?’ and I said, ‘I don’t know how to start a company. I’m 26 years old.’ And he said, ‘Sure you do.’” Drysdale’s dad has a story he likes to tell about her when she was little and coordinating playground activities with the rest of the kids. “I had all the kids on the playground playing what I wanted them to play. His fav line is, “Uh oh. This is going to be really good or really bad.’” In 2009, Drysdale opened Outspoken Media (“We grow, protect and manage 18 | women@work

Favorite Quote:

“

Always behave like a duck: keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.” — Jacob Braude

brands online,” she says) and partnered with two other people who complemented her own strengths. In 2010, she bought out the first partner. And in 2012 she bought out the second partner. Today, the company is “internationally known when it comes to what we do,” she says. Drysdale’s determination is clear in

this story: When she was 24, she sued the person who — get this — tried to trademark the term “SEO,” which is a little like someone trying to trademark the term “sales” or “marketing” or “media.” It’s absurd. When Drysdale discovered that the trademark was approved, she spent the next four years fighting it with

Rhea Drysdale Title: CEO, Outspoken Media Age: 31 Hometown: “The world. I traveled everywhere. My mom would drive me all over the place. If we had to go to Chicago she’d drive me 12 states to get there.” Drysdale, a self-described Navy brat, says she’s lived in 47 states and visited 49 — the only wone she hasn’t been to is Kansas — and she’s lived all over the world. Now, she says, she adores being in Troy, and loves being part of its revitalization. Family: husband Brad Cornelius, son Liam

her own money and legal team. “It lasted four years and it took $17,000 of my personal money,” she says. “And in the end I won it.” Since starting her business, Drysdale has also had a baby, Liam, who’s a little over 1 year old. She also brought her husband — whose background is in media and education — into the business, too, something she hadn’t intended to do. “I said, ‘I can’t find a business person,’ and he said, ‘You know, I think I can do that and I can do it really well,’” she says. “There’s no one who’s going to be more incentivized to help me grow this business. And it’s not the long-term plan but so far it’s working really well.” Outspoken currently employs eight people, and serves anywhere between 20 and 30 clients domestically and internationally. Drysdale says she’s always looking for talented employees. One of the big challenges in this industry, as you can imagine, is the constant updates to technology and search algorithms — that secret code that dictates where your website lands in searches. The key to maintaining, Drysdale says, is to stay informed but

Guilty pleasure: wine and cookies. Bravo TV. Surprising fact about you: I think a lot of people know this but maybe not. I used to study primates in high school. I got to meet Jane Goodall three times. I would spend my weekends at the zoo studying primates. What excites you about your job: My team. Trying to make them happy. Top tip for success: I would say find mentors and not just find them but listen to them. But at the same time you have to do what’s best for your company. So trust yourself too. And advice to ladies: Have confidence that you can do this. That’s my advice. You can do this. Whatever this is.

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also invest in a smart strategy. “A lot of companies flirt with that high-risk approach [of trying to game the algorithms], but we’re not that company,” she says. “We’re a conservative, longterm investment. A lot of people make SEO sound like hackers, but we’re much more financial advisers.” W

Rhea Drysdale’s SEO Top Tips business objectives, not 1 “Understanding just SEO goals,” she says. Don’t obsess

over Web analytics. Have a long-term plan for brand management and focus on that. Make sure there’s clear communication of your business goals, not just your SEO goals. the risks and the guidelines 2 Understand of the search engines and social-media

platforms you’re using. Google has specific rules about how you can optimize your brand, and if you break them, you might get wiped from Google altogether. Not good. that “SEO is a channel that 3 Understand should be a part of a bigger marketing

strategy, but it should always be present and you should always have someone watching it.” The rules of this game change frequently and you should stay on top of new technologies.

2014 Fab5 photography for Evoke Style by Joann Hoose

The Download on

I DID IT

Oasis

in Latham Kimberley Comiskey creates her dream spa By Cari Scribner | Photos by Cindy Schultz

imberley Comiskey wants everyone to feel at home in her day spa, because she does, too. On a tour of the spacious, lovely, 18,000 square-foot Latham building, Comiskey fluffs pillows, smooths blankets, straightens plants and greets many of her nearly 70 employees by name. “We try to make it feel like a house, not a business.” Comiskey says. “This is my dream come true. I could never wish for anything more.” A native of Wynantskill, Comiskey always aspired to be a hairdresser. After finishing two years at a community college — mostly to appease her family — she went to beauty school, followed by a job for the Clairol Company. “I did as much as I could because I loved it,” Comiskey says. “I wanted to absorb everything about the industry.” In 1987, Comiskey opened a hair and nails spa in a small storefront in Bayberry Square, at another Latham location. In the 1980s, the notion of going to a spa hadn’t yet caught on. “We were very much ahead of the curve,” Comiskey says. “At the time, spas weren’t a common thing. They were retreats at best.” A firm believer in networking, Comiskey worked with the International Spa Association, serving on the education committee. Driven by a vision to expand, Comiskey added facials and massage to her list of services. “It was difficult to promote,” Comiskey says. “Massage was considered something for the rich and famous. There was 20 | women@work

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22 | women@work

RUNNING A FAMILY BUSINESS for Comiskey includes making all her employees feel like part of the family. From top left, Comiskey’s niece, Anna Husain, sits at the manicure table; Samantha Smith, massage therapist, stands by one of the high-tech tubs; and Olivia Allen, aesthetician, preps a pre-facial foot soak.

a tremendous amount of educating the public about the benefits of spa treatments.” Twelve years ago, the spa was relocated to the luxurious new space. An elevator carries clients to the second floor, while a third floor downstairs houses the employee lunch room, laundry facilities and massive storage rooms filled with top-of-the-line beauty products. Upstairs, there are garden rooms for body treatments, a couples’ massage room, two fireplaces, a den for relaxing after treatments, and many other rooms closeted behind closed doors. “It’s really important to keep it quiet and relaxing in here,” Comiskey says. “And can you tell I like everything to be neat and clean?” During a recent weekend visit, several clients were having a cut and blow-out in the hairstyling room while the pedicure chairs were nearly full. “Some of the business is seasonal,” Comiskey says. “We do hair and massage all year, but other services are busier during prom and bridal seasons.” Kimberley’s is a family business. Comiskey’s sister, Colleen Husain, has been the bookkeeper for almost 20 years, and their mother, Marilyn Wiegner, works at the front desk a few days a week. In her modest office behind another set of closed doors, Comiskey’s friendly cocker spaniel, Chloe, happily greets visitors.

Wiegner also brings her little dog, Mia, to work with her. When she’s not at her spa, Comiskey loves to vacation in Kennebunkport, Maine, with her husband and with Chloe. “I believe in working hard and playing hard,” she says. Comiskey also believes in giving back. She was on the board of directors for Albany Medical Center Children’s Hospital, and co-chairs the “Dancing in the Woods” fundraising event. Asked about future plans, Comiskey smiles as she offers Chloe a treat. “Developers approach me all the time,” she says. “I have no thoughts of opening another location. I absolutely love what I do. I love my building. I’ve had an amazing staff since the day I opened. Every day I wake up and think, ‘I’m very blessed.’” W

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NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT

Home Away From Home The Ronald McDonald House helps families deal with challenging illnesses 24 | women@work

One Family’s Story By Katie Pratt | Photos by Emily Jahn

t all started with the Philadelphia Eagles. In 1971, 3-year-old Kim Hill, the daughter of Fran and Fred Hill, the Philadelphia Eagles’ tight end at the time, was diagnosed with leukemia. While their daughter was being treated at St Christopher’s Hospital for Children in Philadelphia, the Hills experienced firsthand the countless waiting room benches and vending machine meals in far away hospitals that often await the parents of chronically sick children. With the help of Dr. Audrey Evans, a pediatric oncologist at Philadelphia Children’s Hospital; Ed Rensi, regional manager of McDonald’s; and Fred’s Eagles teammates, the Hills founded the First Ronald McDonald House — a “home away from home” for ill children and their families. From that Philadelphia home, hundreds of others sprung up, including a house in Albany — the 35th in the country. Proposed in 1980 by Dr. William Cromie, an Albany Medical Center urologist who worked at the Philadelphia Children’s Hospital during the formative stages of the first home, the Albany Ronald McDonald House has helped over 14,000 families from 37 New York counties, 38 states and 29 countries. The

mission of each home is to provide free lodging and an invaluable community of support for families facing the many hardships of having children with lifethreatening illnesses. Since its inception some 30 years ago, the Capital Region house has extended its reach considerably, adding a new house and taking its “home away from home” mentality beyond its walls into the community. The Ronald McDonald Family Room at Albany Medical Center provides comforting solace within the clinical hospital atmosphere, giving families of a sick child a place to have a snack, watch TV, read or go on the computer during a grueling day of tests and examinations. Because many seriously ill children need to be treated by specialists that are often far away from their homes, the Family Room now has two bedrooms for parents so that they can escape the stress of the hospital while still being close to their child. The other core program of the RMHC is the Ronald McDonald Care Mobile — a 40-foot van that brings free dental care and treatment to low-income areas throughout the Capital District. Although the Ronald McDonald House Charities have moved well

CHASE FOLEY, center, checks out the plans for the new Ronald McDonald House extension. Photo courtesy Chase Away Leukemia. For the Foley family, the Ronald McDonald house really is “a home away from home.” Liz and Christopher Foley’s son, Chase, was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia in 2011 when he was just 1 month old. After six weeks of chemotherapy and blood transfusions, the Foleys decided it was in Chase’s best interest to be treated at Albany Medical Center by the pediatric oncology team despite the fact that they lived over 200 miles away in Rochester. “Chase was treated at Albany but we live three hours away,” says Liz, and the harrowing commute was yet another challenge for the family of five to overcome. That’s when the Ronald McDonald House stepped up, welcoming Chris, Liz, Lexy, Austin and Peyton to a community unlike any other. “It’s therapeutic to be with other families dealing with similar challenges. … They are very much my family.” For over a year, the Foleys stayed at the Albany House where Liz says the staff and other families served as an invaluable source of motivation and community. Chase too seemed to respond well to the environment, entering remission relatively quickly. He was cancer-free for two years until April of 2014 when he unfortunately relapsed. The Foleys moved back into the Albany Ronald McDonald House in late July to begin another intense battle for his health. “They [the people at the Ronald McDonald House] were just as devastated as we were. Chase was their baby too,” says Liz. Although the family faces a daunting fight against Chase’s illness, knowing that they have the support of the Ronald McDonald House — a real home to come back to — is incredibly powerful. “Once you’re family, you’re family,” says Liz. To learn more about Chase’s journey and to find out how you can support the family, log onto: facebook. com/pages/Chase-Away-Leukemia/786360214715624 capregionwomenatwork.com | 25

NONPROFIT SPOTLIGHT

beyond a single location, the original South Lake Avenue home — a massive Victorian built the early 1900s with three floors and 16 themed bedrooms (themes range from a bamboo hut in the Amazon Rainforest to an Adirondack cabin) — remains the heart and soul of the organization. And nobody has done quite as much to make this house a home as Debbie Ross, who has worked at the Albany House for over three decades as the chief resident director. Ross was first introduced to the Ronald McDonald House in 1981 when one of her professors convinced her to drive all the way to Albany from her home in Massachusetts to interview for a job she wasn’t interested in. “I was married. My husband was getting his master’s in social welfare management. I was going to go to grad school. I had this plan,” she says, “and this [the house manager job] was not part of it.” In an effort to please her past professor, Ross, along with a friend and her mother, drove to what she thought would be an inconsequential interview — certainly not the start of a life-long career. She recalls going into a room filled with board members of the not-yet-opened home. “Each person spoke about why they were on the board. They were all so passionate.” Desperate to have her, the board members offered

The Download on

Debbie Ross AGE: 55 TITLE: Resident Director of the Ronald McDonald House EDUCATION: Theology and Social Work degree from Berkshire Christian College FIRST JOB: Waitress TOUGHEST JOB: This STRESS RELIEF: “I love to think of simple abundance,” says Ross, “simple things,

26 | women@work

Ross the job almost immediately. “They showed me a rustic attic [on the third floor of the home] and said ‘this is where you’re going to live. We have two months of your salary, but we want to hire you before it opens.” She took the job, and has lived in the home alongside the families for nearly 33 years. Ross admits that her career is intense, but she speaks of her time at the McDonald House as less of a job and more of a lifestyle. “I have four children [three daughters and one son adopted later in life]. I raised my three girls here. This is my life and my work.” When asked about the challenges of her career, Ross is frank about the heartbreak endured in the house. “We lost a child yesterday and the family spent the whole day here. … You lose sleep over that. But that’s the nature of my business. There’s going to be sick children, there’s going to be miracles and there’s going to be shadows.” She also says that the constant support from the community helps everyone in the house weather the peaks and valleys of chronic illness. “The love you feel everyday is incredible. We don’t get government money so I have to ask for things. It’s usually just

walking the dogs, spending time with my family, New England beaches, summertime, quiet downtime is how I unwind.” WISH LIST: “Outside of the house, my cup is overflowing. There is nothing I need or want or desire.” FAVORITE RONALD MCDONALD HOUSE STORY: “I don’t have a particular favorite,” she says. “I love first firsts. I’ve watched the birth of a baby here. A child died in my arms. We had a

wedding. I saw a girl see for the first time. I’ve seen a child walk who was never supposed to. Just being a part of unexpected things — life moments — is my favorite part of the job.” SURPRISING FACT: “Living in my work — the fact that I live in my work is probably surprising to some. Most people don’t do that.” BEST DECISION: “Coming here. It’s a life changer.” HOBBIES: Watching sports.

‘yes.’ All the plumbing is donated, furniture, Crowley milk…every day I see the best of humanity.” This being said, the Ronald McDonald house is always looking for volunteers and donations. “There is always a need for volunteers. We’re going to be expanding in a couple months going from one to two volunteers to needing four on a shift [because of the new house on South Lake Avenue]. There’s also a wishlist of items. High end and low end. All of it is extremely important.” W

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It Takes a Village ou have a cause. And the cause becomes a burning passion, and now you want to turn that passion into a nonprofit organization to expand the good work you do. But don’t let the idea that it’s “just a charity” make you blind to one important fact: If you start a nonprofit organization with an official 501 (c)(3) status, you’ve built a corporation. And that means you’re accountable to the government for good (or at least until you dissolve the corporation). It also means you’ll be redirecting at least some of that energy you’ve thrown at your 28 | women@work

mission and to the people, animals or entities you serve into possibly less-gratifying administrative work and bookkeeping. “When you say you’re going to start a nonprofit, you’re creating a legal corporation, and you should not go down the road of creating a corporation unless you’re aware of all the legal responsibilities you will have,” says Doug Sauer, chief executive officer for the New York Council of Nonprofits, a Menands-based umbrella organization and resource for nonprofit groups. “It’s a major responsibility that goes beyond just simply, ‘I

By Jennifer Gish want to do something, and I want a nonprofit.’ It’s serious business — that’s the first thing. It’s not just, ‘I’m going to do it, and I’ll walk away from it tomorrow if I want to do something else.’” The first point to consider, Sauer says, is whether creating a nonprofit is even the best way to accomplish your mission. Assuming it is, the list of other considerations is long and varied. A new nonprofit organization should do something in the community no one else is doing or deliver those services in a distinct way, rather than duplicating existing chari-

Photo: Muriel Frega/GettyImages.

Some points to consider before you start a nonprofit

ties. If another nonprofit in the community is doing similar work, it may be easier to further your mission by partnering with them, Sauer says. Otherwise, he says, you’ll be competing with those organizations for donor funds, and if you don’t have a distinctive program, there’s no reason for contributors to finance your work rather than the nonprofit down the street. “Along with that, can you make a strong business case for the organization, that it will be sustainable and effective?” Sauer says. “Sometimes people do this on wishes, hopes and dreams and never thought, ‘Who’s going to give me money?’” And there are those, especially during the start of the recession, who started a nonprofit thinking they’d create a job for themselves. If your mission is really to do good in the community, you have to realize that isn’t all about you. A nonprofit agency that’s going to be viable is built around a mission not a person, Sauer says. “Even in those cases where they’re successful, those founders often create boards that are nothing but supporters of them,” he says. “They never challenge them, and then when the founder leaves, dies or something happens, the organization fails. It was all about that person. It was never created as a sustainable organization over time.” If you’ve satisfied those questions and are ready to move ahead in creating a nonprofit, there’s work — and paperwork — ahead. First, you apply for a certificate of incorporation with the New York State Department of State. To do this, you must have a clear mission and a minimum of three people to serve as your “initial directors.” The filing fee is $75, and the organization must have a name that isn’t too similar to other corporations already on file. Then, if you want tax-exempt 501 (c) (3) status, you need to apply for it with the Internal Revenue Service. Applying for tax-exempt status can take three months to two years, Sauer says. “Do you realize that you have to register with the state, you have to do a financial report with the state? You have to do an IRS form 990,” says Kelly Mathews, chief operating officer of the New York Council of Nonprofits and senior vice

president of financial accountability and compliance. She also serves as the executive director of Innovative Charitable Initiatives, a nonprofit subsidiary of NYCON that has IRS tax-exempt status. “People don’t realize the gravity of running a charitable organization,” she says. “If people really did that research first, it would really give them pause. They would say, ‘Maybe I need to think about that more. Maybe I need to think about the people I have around the board table first.’” The board members should bring a broad range of experience to the table, perhaps with backgrounds in business, legal matters, accounting, fundraising, marketing and your mission. Anthony Cafritz, executive director of the Salem Art Works, an art center and sculpture park in Washington County that supports artists in their work and fosters an appreciation for contemporary art in the community, recommends hiring an accountant early on to put all the financial accountability pieces into place. “You have to be almost draconian in the way you approach your finances, and you have to make sure that’s very, very clear,” he says. “The best thing is to get a really good CPA and have them set up a boilerplate for you to follow and have. … You’ve got to be transparent, and you have to be ethical, and you have to really matter [to the community] these days because everything is under such scrutiny.” Cafritz’s nonprofit organization started as a program under Innovative Charitable Initiatives (ICI), which acts as a fiscal sponsor to new and emerging nonprofits. He began Salem Art Works in mid-2005 under the incubator, and while there, it took the founding group about 19 months to become a nonprofit corporation. By 2008, Salem Art Works was ready to go out on its own, and the nonprofit has grown to having a $340,000 budget and employing about a dozen full-time and part-time staffers. Programs apply to be part of the incubator. The groups don’t have to be a registered nonprofit corporation to join, but it allows groups to use the ICI’s tax-exempt status. That means, of course, that ICI monitors every group it fiscally sponsors

If you want to become a nonprofit … New York Council of Nonprofits nycon.org New York State Department of State guide to not-for-profit incorporation dos.ny.gov/forms/corporations/1511f-l_instructions.pdf IRS guide to applying for 501(c)(3) status irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p4220.pdf to make sure they’re tracking funds properly and following the law. It’s a way for a program that’s thinking about becoming a 501 (c)(3) to get acquainted with the rules and regulations while under the guidance of the ICI, Mathews says. For example, if a group grows to the point of wanting to hire staff, the members must be versed in labor laws, and often people who begin nonprofits are not. ICI can hire and manage staff for the group, making sure all labor laws are followed. (Each group pays their own employees out of their funds.) Sometimes groups decide to stay paired with ICI for the long haul, Mathews says. Sometimes, they get to the point where they’re ready to go out on their own, like Salem Art Works. “It was advised to us that [pairing up with ICI] would be the best route to do it because it gives you legitimacy in the eyes of the IRS,” Cafritz says. Cafritz says ICI gave him his start, but he felt like it wasn’t the best fit for the organization long-term because it needed to move so fast. And processes like cutting checks, something they do 15 to 20 times a day, can take time they didn’t have because of the extra layer of administration. His advice to those wanting to start a nonprofit is to give it careful consideration and create a plan and procedures for keeping everything — from finance to administrative structure — organized. “You can’t grow too fast, and you can’t grow too large, and you can’t be encumbered in one area,” he says. “You’ve got to make sure that everything is done in a very courted way.” W capregionwomenatwork.com | 29

The Next Chapter

Andrea Daley of Troy has become an art restoration specialist in her later years.

By Joel N. Sussman | Photos by Nicole Campon

t started in 2011 and will be continuing for 18 years, according to the AARP. Every day, another 8,000 Americans turn 65, the age which used to be associated with retirement. This year, the youngest members of the so-called Baby Boom Generation will turn 50. With health care continually improving and 30 | women@work

average lifespans edging up, millions of people are asking themselves the same question: “How can I make the most out of this next chapter in my life?” Whether it’s because of economic necessity or a desire to embrace new challenges, the notion of retiring at 65 is becoming as antiquated as rotary phones

Considering career and business options after retirement

and typewriters. Although everyone’s experience with turning 65 is different, those with an entrepreneurial mindset tend to view this crossroads as opportunity for growth and reinvention. For 65-year-old Pamela Sawchuk Brown, that turning point arrived prematurely in 2007 when her husband and business partner, David P. Brown, died unexpectedly at the age of 61. Together, the couple had built Sawchuk Brown Associates in Albany into the largest public relations firm in New York State, outside of Manhattan. After much soul searching, she made the decision to sell the company she founded in 1979. The buyer was Eric Mower + Associates, a Syracusebased marketing communications agency. “I decided that I did not want to run Sawchuk Brown without David,” she says. “It wasn’t fun anymore for me.” Following a two-year transitional period with the agency, Sawchuk Brown was ready to embark on a new challenge. Her opportunity came in a job offer from Albany Medical Center in October where she was charged with overseeing community development activities and establishing partnerships to further the center’s mission. In her position as vice president of community development, Sawchuk Brown draws from her nearly four decades of experience in journalism, public relations, and business management. “I get to use everything I learned over the years, and I’m able to bring to bear my connections in the community, which are very strong,” she says. “One of my real strengths is that I do know this community very well, and I know the people that make it cook.” Another local woman who finds her career much more compelling than the prospect of retiring is 68-year-old Andrea Daley of Troy. Inspired early on by her

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Kathleen Thorsey of Kinderhook started a new business called Sportique Brands.

mother, who ran a ceramics studio, the art restoration specialist continues to acquire new skills and accept demanding on-site restoration jobs throughout the world. Over the years, she’s taken classes in welding, airbrushing, and fresco painting, and has developed expertise in oil painting restoration, paper conservation, and architectural restoration. Since moving to Troy a few years ago from Florida,

“

young artists interested in the field of restoration. For the time being, however, those plans have been limited to occasional one-on-one trainings and workshops. “I’d really like to get a school up, but there’s so much work that keeps coming to me,” Daley says. “I can’t keep up with the work I’ve got, so I kind of cherry-pick the projects I want to work on.” One of those jobs involves restoration

I get to use everything I learned over the years, and I’m able to bring to bear my connections in the community, which are very strong.

”

– Pamela Sawchuk Brown she’s been restoring many home interiors as a well as entrances to homes. At this stage in her life, she’d like to spend more time teaching her craft to 32 | women@work

work at a high-end hotel in the Caribbean. Daley expects to travel there, this year, for about three or four weeks to train and oversee five people. She’ll be

returning in the fall to provide more oversight for the project. She also travels to Las Vegas for eight weeks at a time to perform restoration services for an antiques and art dealer. The store is located on three floors of the huge Venetian Resort. “He probably has the largest art and antique collection in the world,” Daley says. “It’s just incredible! Frames, porcelain, ivory, semi-precious stone — all those things get damaged, chipped, or broken.” She is planning on training an apprentice to help her handle that ongoing workload. Community involvement is also a big part of Daley’s active lifestyle. As vice president of the Troy Little Italy Association, she secured approval for a federal program that hires unemployed people over 55 to help with neighborhood maintenance work. She says they now have “12 street cleaners picking up, shoveling snow, weeding, and reporting anything

that looks out of place — a great service to our community!” Another community project Daley recently initiated was the Bella Vita Fresco project. To prepare for the event, she flew to California to learn the fresco method of painting, a style used by several of the Italian Renaissance masters, including Michelangelo. After she returned to Troy, she taught the painting style to 30 local artists at no charge. Each of them created a fresco painting to be displayed in storefronts in Troy’s Little Italy. The paintings were later auctioned off to raise money for local neighborhoods and the Italian Community Center. In addition to her full-time work as a restorer, Daley’s also been immersed in restoration work at her own home — a 170-year-old house she owns with her husband. She says his help, support, and patience throughout their 47-year marriage has been a major factor in her ability to pursue her passions. According to Janet Tanguay, coordinator of an Entrepreneur Boot Camp sponsored by Albany-Colonie Regional Chamber, many of the program’s retirement-age students, including Daley, are motivated by a desire to give back to their community and pass along their knowledge to others. She also says that passion is one of the most important qualities that all business owners must have to succeed. Dan Moran, president of Next-Act, a career management consultancy in Albany, agrees that doing something you love is a key ingredient to a retirement business or new career. “I work [with clients] on identifying strengths, helping them understand what they’re passionate about doing, and then helping them find career alignment that aligns to their personality, interests, aptitude, temperament, and the big one: reality.” Kathleen Thorsey, a 48-year old entrepreneur from Kinderhook, says success comes from cultivating relationships, being driven by your passion, and having an unquenchable thirst to learn new things. One year ago, Thorsey started a new business called Sportique Brands, which markets petroleum-free skincare products to athletes and other health-conscious consumers. In the past 12 months, she’s developed an e-commerce website (sportiquebrands.com), acquired 13 wholesale accounts, and promoted her line of products at more than 17 expositions and athletic events throughout the region and country. Her decision to pursue a new business venture came on the heels of a successful 22-year career in the residential and commercial mortgage banking industry. She says it was that background that gave her a good core concept of what it takes to run a business. The emergence of more and more retirement-age professionals wondering what they’re going to do with the rest of their lives is fostering a new type of consulting service. Jon Allen, president of Performance Matters, Inc., an organizational consulting and career coaching business in Clifton Park, recently diversified his practice to include “retirement transition coaching.” With longer life expectancies, he says, many Baby Boomers could be looking ahead to another 30 years of unstructured time — which is a full third of their lives. Allen, 57, who has personally made two successful career transitions himself, helps his clients step back, assess their options, and map out a balanced and meaningful plan for the next chapter in their lives. W

I’m The Boss! What Do I Do Now? How to succeed if you’ve just been promoted

Earn Some R-E-S-P-E-C-T People naturally want their coworkers to like them but if you’re a supervisor, it’s more important to be respected than liked. (The two things aren’t mutually exclusive, by the way.)

othing is more nervewracking than the first day of a new job. But if your new position is that of a supervisor, and if you’ve never been a boss before, those first-day jitters are likely to be amplified to 11. You can’t just hang out by the coffee machine and hope to strike up friendly conversations with your new colleagues, or wait for someone to show you the ropes. As the new supervisor, everyone is looking to see what you’ll do,

because what you do will directly impact them. Obviously, you want to put your best foot forward and set the right tone from the start. But when you’re treading new ground, it’s best to tread lightly. You may be bursting with enthusiasm and full of ideas about what needs to be done differently but, experts say, it’s a mistake to start out by making sweeping changes. First you need to determine the lay of the land. continued on page 36

34 | women@work

But just as you wouldn’t go into a new job expecting everyone to be your friend, don’t assume that just because you have a higher position, your title will automatically confer respect. Respect isn’t granted, it’s earned, says Best, and if you want to get it, first you have to give it. People are naturally going to have different management styles depending on their personality. The golden rule, however, still applies. Treat people as you would want to be treated. “It’s about establishing that partnership,” says Best. “The best managers I have had have established that mutual respect from the beginning.”

Photo: Sturuti/GettyImages.

By Jayne Keedle

Disabilities Services

continued from page 34

Learn What Makes the Business Tick Every business has its own culture. Presumably, you did your homework about the company in order to land the position. Now, it’s time to familiarize yourself with existing practices and to get to know the people with whom you’ll be working. You’ve been promoted or hired because of your experience and expertise but don’t assume you know what’s best or think that what worked at another company will translate directly to your new position. “I really do think that a manager has to understand their business in order to do a good job,” says human resources specialist Debra J. M. Best. “I think you have to be willing to broaden your subject-matter expertise. I’ve definitely been in situations where I’ve had to learn. I had an operations job, not in HR, some of which were completely new to me. It was very important to learn as much as possible what the operation was.” Some companies, such as General Electric, have training programs in place for new managers which have them doing stints in different departments so they get a good handle on how the entire operation works. If your company doesn’t offer this, do it anyway. You may have an MBA but if you’re supervising people who’ve been on the job for years, you can learn from them. And while it’s not a requirement that you know how to work an assembly line or drive a forklift, to effectively manage people who do, you need to know what their job entails. “A big ‘don’t’ would be just coming in with your own agenda and your cookie cutter approach, not getting to know your people, not getting to know what motivates them,” says Best. Good managers understand the business they’re in, know what their employees need, and work to meet those needs.

Don’t Go It Alone Some companies will throw you in the deep end and it’s up to you to sink 36 | women@work

or swim. If that happens, reach for a life line. Find a mentor, says Best. The person who promoted you is the logical person to turn to for advice or to get the inside scoop. Finding a mentor outside the company, perhaps through a professional organization or maybe a former boss or colleague, can also help you gain perspective. As a first-time supervisor, it’s likely you’ll still be reporting to someone, so you’ll have to manage up as well as down. In “Becoming the Boss,” a Harvard Business article written by Harvard Business School Professor Linda Hill, many people reported being surprised that they seemed to have less autonomy and authority, rather than more, in their new role. “They are enmeshed in a web of relationships,” Hill writes, “Not only with subordinates, but also with bosses, peers, and others inside and outside the organization, all of whom make relentless and often conflicting demands on them.” It’s going to take a while to learn the ropes but if you can turn to someone who’s been there, you might avoid getting tied up in knots.

Get to Know the Natives When Hillary Clinton was running for the United States Senate, she kicked off her campaign with a “listening tour.” Albany Career Coach Tom Denham says this is a great idea. “The sign of a good leader is that they listen,” says Denham. “When you become a boss, people have fears. You may be exciting, but they may have fears about how they’re going to be treated, what the future is going to be like. This is new and represents change and most people are not comfortable with change. First thing, either individually or as a group, have a meeting where you listen.” Start off by arranging one-on-one meetings with as many people as possible. If that’s not practical, then “town hall”-style meetings are another option. The point of the meeting is not to make a speech about what you’re going to do but to gather information. Ask questions, find

out what challenges people face, listen to suggestions they have for improvements. You don’t have to act on every idea, but you’ll have a much better sense of what’s needed and what’s possible. Schedule regular meetings, either as a group or individually, to make sure you’re plugged into employee concerns going forward. Working in human resources, Best says she always made a point to get out of her office and “walk the floor” on a daily basis just to check in and say hello. “I think people had a tendency to come talk to us more because they saw us on the floor,” she says, “and people would come up and ask me questions, or tell me they needed to talk to me.”

Be a Coach, Not a Dictator As the boss, you can’t do the work. Your job is to plan long-range strategies, delegate, and facilitate. Your charge is to enable, empower, and encourage the people who report to you to do the best job possible. Instead of thinking of yourself as “The Boss,” envision yourself as a coach. You’re not there to play the game, but rather to give your team the tools, training, and motivation they need to succeed. You want to make sure that people are in the right positions, doing jobs that are properly aligned with their skills, interests, and ambitions. That’s why it’s vitally important to really get to know the people on your team. “Your job is to make sure people feel valued and make sure their strengths are lined up with their work,” says Albany human resource specialist, Career Coach Patricia McDonald. “If employees feel respected, seen and heard, they are going to do great work — and you have to show appreciation.” People are going to be motivated by different incentives but one thing is universal — everyone wants to be appreciated. Never, ever, take credit for other people’s work. Always give credit where credit is due, both privately and publicly, recognizing and rewarding the people who do a good job.

Change the Dynamics Even if your former peers are thrilled for you, establishing yourself as the supervisor can be a challenge. “Anyone

who says that’s easy has never done it,” says Best. “It takes a healthy detachment to be a manager. You want to understand where the boundaries are.”

As the new supervisor, you’ll need to redraw the boundary lines. That doesn’t mean you can never go to another happy hour, but your new role means the social dynamics need to change. Remain friendly but be professional, and resist the urge to have another glass of wine and moan about work. You want people to trust and respect you and to do that you need to lead by example. Show you can be trusted to not talk out of turn. One advantage you have in that situation, McDonald says, is that you know everyone, understand their strengths and weaknesses and know the challenges they face. As the supervisor, you may now be in a position to help eliminate some of the obstacles you’ve all encountered and assign people the tasks to which they are best suited.

Don’t Let Power Go to Your Head

Turn the Squeaky Wheel

Photo: Jens Lennartsson/GettyImages.

If the people you supervise aren’t satisfied and don’t feel appreciated, they won’t do their best work. Unfortunately, that’s a situation you may walk into just by being hired. It’s natural that someone passed over for a promotion would feel resentful, particularly if that person has been with the company for a long time. As the new manager, you want that person on your side or else you’ll have a saboteur in your midst before you’ve even started. “It’s a mistake to just ignore it and think they’ll get over it,” says Best. Arrange a one-on-one meeting, ideally on neutral turf at a restaurant away from the office. You want to give the person a chance to vent so that the two of you can move on from there. That’s what career coach Tom Denham did when, at 29, he was hired as director of

human resources at Siena College and learned that one member of his fiveperson staff (who was twice his age) had also been vying for the same job. “We went out to lunch and we cleared the air before I came on board,” says Denham. “He was irritated and disappointed that he didn’t become director. After we had one-on-one meetings we had a strategic plan, so that we were all moving in the same direction. There has to be mutual respect with captain and crew. You can’t have crew constantly saying ‘I want to be the captain,’ nor do you want a boss saying, ‘I’m the boss and that’s that.’” Best encountered this situation when she was promoted over one of her peers. In that case, she recognized and acknowledged the person’s abilities and ambitions, and suggested that they work together to advance her career. As the new boss, she was in a position to help and was happy to do so.

You may have dreamed of moving into a corner office but in many companies today, managers are sitting alongside the people they supervise in an open area of cubicles where the only doors are on fishbowl-like conference rooms. The emphasis is on teamwork and transparency. The message is we’re all in this together. “The hierarchical model is over,” says McDonald. “You, as a boss, are the facilitator. You have to be a good facilitator. It’s knowing your employees intimately and making them feel appreciated. Get in there and say, ‘I want to do the best I can for you. I want us to be a good team and I want to hear from you.’” The most effective supervisors, Best says, “know what their role is and it’s not about the elevation of their status, it’s about getting the job done. The ones who get drunk on the status are most at risk for failure.” In an environment that stresses teamwork, everyone shares in the successes. But even though the emphasis is on teambuilding, if you’re the boss and the work isn’t being done to everyone’s satisfaction, it’s your job that’s on the line. So go forth — and build a great team! W capregionwomenatwork.com | 37

An Atypical Golf Tournament & Poker Run!! Presented by the Women4Women Committee of the Colonie Chamber of Commerce

Friday, Sept. 19, 2014 • Noon – 6pm To Beneﬁt Dress for Success Albany Hosted By: Mill Road Acres Golf Course & Otis & Oliver’s Restaurant

PRIZES FOR GOLF, MYSTERY CONTESTS & BEST POKER

HAND WINS $500!! OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

Make your reservation at: coloniechamber.org/events

Schenectady Business and Professional Women’s Club, Inc. and

Present

Silent Auction Door Prizes Rafﬂes Mystery Wine Sale

From Coffee to Cocktails

The 38th Annual Fashion Show and Woman of the Year Celebration ~ Celebrating Our 2014 Woman of the Year ~

Dr. Laura Schweitzer President of Union Graduate College

Women in Small Business Showcase Featuring fashion by: Sistah’s Vintage Aprons 22 Shades of Gray Ferri’s Formals and Bridals

Sunday, November 2nd, 2014 The Glen Sanders Mansion

Luncheon Price • $45.00 • Doors open 10:30 a.m. Come Early – Visit our Vendors for Holiday Shopping Schenectady BPW is a 501c3 Public Charity For More Information please contact: Robin Quintin at (518) 355-9064 or email rquintin@nycap.rr.com Send checks payable to Schenectady BPW by October 15th to Robin Quintin at 1028 Beverly Street, Schenectady, NY 12306 Or visit www.schenectadybpw.org for more information

If You Ask Sometimes…

You just might get what you need

By Brianna Snyder

Photo: Ugurhan Betin/GettyImages.

hy do women have trouble asking for — and getting — what they need? That’s what a panel of experts seeks to answer this month at the Women@ Work breakfast panel at the Desmond on Sept. 10. The breakfast is sponsored by the Women@Work advisory board, all of whom made personal contributions to ensure this event could happen. “Sponsoring this breakfast makes a strong statement that every woman on the advisory board believes that giving women information on how to get their needs met in the workplace is a very important skill in the advancement of every woman’s career,” says Anne Saile, the board’s chair. “I couldn’t think of a more important topic for the advisory board to sponsor.” Women “often get in their own way,” Saile says. “They don’t really hone the skills necessary to ask for what they

need.” A bigger problem, Saile adds, is that some women don’t even identify the very thing that they need. “In my coaching practice, when I ask people to give me five things they want most in the world, most women can’t come up with those five things.” Men? They don’t have that problem. For a taste of some of the ideas you’ll hear at the “The Power Ask: Getting What You Need,” here are tips from each of our panel members.

Lisa Giruzzi, author/speaker/ consultant/coach, Your Communication Authority “The first step is to ask yourself ( and get clarity on ) what you really want; not what you think you can get or what you think you should want. Ask yourself if you got it would you really want it? You will know you are on the right track when you feel a bit of excitement at the

THE POWER ASK: Getting what you want — and need — at work and at home will feature panelists Lisa Giruzzi, Cathy Crosky and Ann Reis, with moderator Janet Reynolds, executive editor of Women@Work. The event, held at the Desmond, begins with networking and breakfast at 7:30 and will end promptly at 9. Cost is $25 per person, which includes breakfast; corporate tables are available for $225. To register, go to womenatworkconnect.eventbrite.com

thought of getting it. Asking for what you want keeps you from settling. Each time we settle for less than what we want we convince ourselves we can’t have what we truly want.”

Cathy Crosky, senior leadership consultant, Charter Oak Consulting Group “You have to ask for what you need. You can’t assume that others know what you want and need. Many women hesitate to ask for what they want for fear that they might appear selfish or pushy, while at the same time they also undervalue themselves. Make sure you know what your value is and ask for what you want in a firm but respectful manner.”

Ann Reis, M.S., founder and president, Capital District Human Resources Professionals “Increase your visibility and expand your scope of influence. Build positive relationships with leaders you trust and respect. Ask them how they succeeded and get their advice on how you can achieve your goals. Volunteer for cross-departmental projects that give you a chance to network with others in positions of influence and prove your value and commitment to the company’s success.” W

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capregionwomenatwork.com | 39

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The Rensselaer County Regional Chamber Of Commerce Presents

Tech Valley Series For Empowering Women

Styles, Strategies & Stories Join us for a candid panel discussion featuring Chamber President Linda Hillman and four of our region’s dynamic leaders as they candidly discuss obstacles, leadership styles and paths that led them to where they are today. Our panelists are: Karen R. Hitchcock, Ph.D. Special Advisor Park Strategies

Sari O’Connor

Chief Development Officer Northern Rivers Family Services

“Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher.” - Oprah Winfrey Tech Valley Series for Empowering Women underwritten by: T

Thursday, October 9,2014

Catherine M. Volk

VP & Corporate Counsel The Kaleel Jamison Consulting Group

Stefanie Wiley President Hoosick Valley Contractors, Inc.

Thursday, October 9, 2014 Hilton Garden Inn, Troy 7:30 a.m. Registration & Breakfast 8 - 9:30 a.m. Panel Discussion www.renscochamber.com/events Media Sponsor:

Will You Endorse Me? What to do if you don’t want to write a recommendation letter By Molly Belmont

Photo: -Oxford-/GettyImages.

hen a good employee asks you to write a recommendation letter, you’re probably happy to oblige. But when this request comes from an employee you’ve been dissatisfied with, this request can leave you scrambling. After all, what do you say about someone who never hits his deadlines or spends meetings checking Facebook on her phone. “I’d like to tell you I was honest, but more than likely, I’ve taken the easy road, and said something like, ‘That’s against our company policy,’” says Laura Dehmer, vice president of the Albany-Colonie Regional Chamber in Albany. Dehmer is likely not alone in this approach. Managers typically don’t want to sacrifice their personal reputations by backing a substandard employee, but they also don’t want to be honest and risk burning a bridge. Concern for the person’s feelings also has an impact; let’s face it, we like to be liked, even if it’s by someone who spent more time at lunch than at her desk. Given that recommendation letters should be an honest assessment of the employee’s performance, how do you proceed? Essentially, you have three options: be honest, deflect or lie. For many managers, honesty is the best policy. “As leaders, our feedback is important for performance improvement,” writes Michelle Dinsmore, vice president, Overit, a creative agency in Albany that specializes in design, marketing and advertising. Each year, Overit takes on a number of interns, and while most are great, Dinsmore has been asked to recommend someone she didn’t find impressive. Dinsmore says the trick is to play it straight. “I keep that kind of letter concise and short. Touching on the fact I was unimpressed without getting nit-picky,” she says in an email. “I also try to look at the person’s positives.” Once, Dinsmore even

told the prospective employer that she thought the person could greatly improve with more training and focus. “I can’t really see any value in not being truthful.” Dona Frank-Federico, chief of staff for WAMC Northeast Public Radio, shies away from writing letters for people with whom she isn’t pleased. Instead she suggests they give her name as a reference to the prospective employer. “I just say, ‘I’d really prefer to have them call me.’ And then, when they call me, I answer the questions legally, rather than freely, and they usually get the drift,” says Frank-Federico. “Then, I’ve been as honest as I can be, while also protecting myself and the company.” Afraid saying no could come back to haunt you? You’re not alone. “You never know when you might cross paths with someone again,” says Dehmer. Business owners, whose success often depends on building good relationships, may be even more vulnerable to blowback. “You have to be wise about a business community if you’re going to stay part of that community,” Dehmer says. If you can’t be honest and you’re afraid of the impact saying no could have, try to find a graceful way out. Tell the requester that you haven’t had the opportunity to supervise them directly, Dehmer says. Or sidestep the request by suggesting they ask someone whose recommendation carries more weight or someone who has more first-hand knowledge with their skills, she says. You can also put the ball back in their court, and ask them to write a letter you can edit and sign. “Sometimes, when you ask someone to do the first step, then you never have to do anything after that,” she says. If, contrary to expectations, the person does return with a letter, edit it down to a document you can live with,

and then give it back to her to do with it as she will. “You haven’t said anything bad, but you haven’t given them anything of real substance either. Then, hopefully, they’ll be wise enough not to use it,” says Dehmer. When all else fails, lie. Tell the person that the company you work for has a policy against writing recommendation letters. Or, explain that you have your own policy against it, developed after a bad experience with a former employee. “It’s not really true, but it could be,” says Dehmer. “It’s a little white lie to preserve the innocent.” If you don’t have a recommendation letter policy — personal or otherwise —now might be the time to develop one. Many employers do have policies against providing recommendations for former employees. Others require that all recommendations come from a central office or person. At WAMC Northeast Public Radio, every reference has to go through the business office or CEO and president, says Frank-Federico, “because then you know what’s being said because you’re saying it.” This way, individuals aren’t giving the impression that they speak for the company when they back an employee. “You just have to be really careful what you say these days,” says FrankFederico. W capregionwomenatwork.com | 41

GET TOP CAREER TIPS IN ONE HOUR! SPEND 10 MINUTES AT EACH EXPERT’S TABLE AND GET THE INFORMATION YOU NEED TO MOVE AHEAD Network Get in the door for customers, clients and interviews Make a ﬁrst — and lasting — impression Interview Manage social media & your career And the 5 top skills you need to succeed in today’s workforce.

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A position in technology or advanced manufacturing awaits you. Meet your match at the 2014 Tech Career Expo. Professionals involved in all aspects of the technology industry, are encouraged to attend. Dozens of local companies are participating, eager to meet qualiﬁed, skilled candidates. Everyone from seasoned professionals to new college graduates will gain valuable connections at this event.

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working to make a difference.

Just Ask

placeholder

How to nail those jobinterview questions — that is, the questions you should be asking the interviewer

By Kristi Barlette

Photo: Asia Images/GettyImages.

ou’ve scored an interview for that coveted job — the position you lusted over back when you attended college fairs and declared a major as a senior in high school or you’ve been obsessively tracking online ever since you started working to see if it ever becomes vacant. Yeah, that job. You’ve prepared for this interview — rehearsing answers to questions such as “what challenges did you face in your last position” and “what is your weakness?” You’re even equipped to answer those oddball inquiries such as “if you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be and why?” But did you prepare for the questioning to reverse? That moment when you look past the picture frames filled with images of the interviewer posing with dignitaries and other notables across the big, mahogany desk and are given a chance to ask the interviewer questions? If the answer is s “no,” then you’re not truly ready for an interview. The interview process is an authentic (not smarmy) sales call where you first confirm/discover the needs that the potential employer has (e.g., listening and

asking questions), and then you systemically and professionally address how you will meet/exceed the needs of the potential employer, says Debra Best, founder of Deb Best Practices in Albany. “The identification of needs on both side of the interview conversation are essential to increasing the chances of a good match between the candidate and the employer,” says Best. So how do you ask questions that make you sound educated and interested in the position, but also allow you to learn more about the company, the job and your future boss? We talked with three Capital Region career experts — Best, Patricia Fusco, owner of Fusco Personnel in Albany, and Rose Miller, president of Pinnacle Human Resources in Albany — to find out:

DO have a minimum of three questions to ask the interviewer.

DON’T ask “What are the hours?” If you feel you need to know in that initial interview, instead ask about the corporate culture and how it’s perceived if you choose to come in early or work late.

DO ask the interviewer to tell you about individuals who have left the company. Ask what didn’t work, what personalities didn’t fit in. You don’t want names, but you do want to know. You want to know the general turnover rate and the reasons for that turnover.

DO research the company; then use that research to ask questions. For example, say “I read on your website, the company is _________. Can you tell me some of the events that led to the company’s success?” (In other words, ask any question about the news you just read.)

DO ask about the strategic direction of

DO ask about attributes for the ideal

the company and its financial position. Smaller companies don’t have the PR and marketing machines of larger companies, so no news on Google is not necessarily bad news. W

candidate. Understanding what makes a great employee, in their minds, will give you an idea of the workplace culture.

Not sure where to start? Flip to page 45 to see some sample questions, and learn some signs to watch for.

DON’T ask about salary in that initial interview.

capregionwomenatwork.com | 43

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continued from page 43

Reading the Signals Sometimes it’s not what people are saying in an interview but how they’re saying it, in particular what message their body language is conveying. Here are some signs to watch for: Does he or she fidget when answering questions? It usually means the answers aren’t totally truthful.

Photos: GettyImages. Notebook, kyoshino; Pen, Vincenzo Lombardo.

Does the person look you straight in the eye when talking to you? That indicates sincerity.

Sample interview questions … If the interviewer is a general representative of the company:

• What did you like or dislike about the last person who worked in this position?

• Who are the company’s competitors and how is the company positioned in the marketplace?

• How long have you been with the company, and how do you like working here? or What would you say is the best thing about working for this organization? (A less-thanenthusiastic answer is a red flag.)

• Has the company been hiring in the last few years? Have they ever had to downsize?

• What are the three biggest challenges for this position and the team currently?

• What are some of the company’s plans for the near future?

• What does success look like in this position at the 3-month, 6-month and 12-month milestones? or In your view, what is the mission of this position? How would you define success in this position?

Does the person look at his computer or phone while talking to you? It generally indicates a person is closed off.

• If hired, would I be replacing someone or is this a new role in the company?

Does the person fold his arms? It usually indicates a more autocratic management style. There are many more. These personality traits may help you determine if there is a match.

If you know this is the person you will be working for, you’ll want to add:

The important thing is to get the person to open up and talk to you. Smart interviewers use all these techniques to try to get more information about the candidate, says Rose Miller. They are excellent listeners. The same applies when trying to determine if the manager is a fit for you. Get the person to talk to you and be sure you are listening carefully when he/she is talking.

• What is your management style?

• What do you think makes a person successful in this role?

• How would the members of your team describe you to me? • How long have you been with the company? • What is the working environment like in your department? Is it quiet, loud, lots of energy?

• What are the experiences, skill and overall characteristics of the lead candidate for this position? • How do you envision the optimum interaction with this position? What is your preferred style of work? • How will this the position be viewed in this organization? How will it contribute to the organization’s success? • Do you have any questions or concerns about me as a candidate? • How would you rate me in comparison to other candidates you’re considering for the position? Sources: Debra Best, Patricia Fusco, Rose Miller

— Source: Rose Miller, president of Pinnacle Human Resources in Albany

capregionwomenatwork.com | 45

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

11:00 a.m. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 1:30 p.m. | Hilton Garden Inn, Troy

Honoring Patty Fusco as the Resourceful Woman of the Year and many other outstanding women in the Capital Region

The Resourceful Women Awards were established in 2000 to recognize and honor those whose community and professional pursuits advance the empowerment of women, a core element of the YWCA-GCR mission.

To purchase Sponsorship, Honorary Committee, and/or General Tickets

Contact Malissa Pilette-McClenon at malissap@ywca-gcr.org or call 518.274.7100. Patty is the President/CEO of Fusco Personnel, Inc. Having just celebrated the 20th anniversary of her firm's founding the end of April 2014, Patty truly epitomizes the definition of not only a truly resourceful and accomplished woman, but also is a remarkably caring and giving woman both in and beyond her community. Her professional life has been dedicated to matching women with the right employers. Despite her rigorous professional demands, she has always found the time to keep helping the community in both social and economic endeavors.

Thank you to:

The YWCA of the Greater Capital Region, Inc. is dedicated to eliminating racism, empowering women and promoting peace, justice, freedom and dignity for all.

www.ywca-gcr.org | 21 First Street, Troy, NY 12180 | P: (518) 274-7100 | F: (518) 274-2572

MOMS@WORK Corey Jamison is the founder and organizational consultant of her own firm, Corey Jamison Consulting. Corey is married and shares parenting duties (they have 7 children between them!) with her husband Jon. Photo by Joe Elario

Those Things We Don’t Talk About … But Should

By Corey Jamison

e all hold secrets. What we don’t realize is how much the effort of holding them can hold us back. The act of withholding requires more energy from us than we know, and can be a barrier to success in our careers, as well as keep us from being fully present with our family and friends. Holding back secrets blocks us from showing up as the genuine, authentic women we are. It leaves us unknown to others, and to ourselves. In my work coaching and developing women leaders over the past two decades, I have met women blocked and stuck — held back by their secrets, stories and burdens of locked up pain. They speak those secrets to me with scratchy voices, rusted and unpracticed, looking for the “right words” too long buried. In truth, those silent secrets are never really so silent, are they? They yell out to us when least expected, in those rare unguarded moments. Those tamped-down secrets leak into our lives, shaping our mindsets, our choices, our interactions, reining us in with fear, holding us back. I, too, have those secrets. I keep some of them still. So, I am not suggesting a confessional shout-out from the mountaintop. Instead, when you see a woman struggling at work, you can say, “Hey, I’ve been there; how can I help you?” Then you tell your story, so that she is less alone, less afraid, more courageous. Sometimes these secrets are big, other times small. The babies we’ve held in our wombs and hearts, but not carried to term. The disappointments in our

relationships we might have had the courage to face if only we knew others’ relationships weren’t as perfect as they seemed. The marks of misplaced shame from partners who have hit us, shoved or degraded our souls with words, for whom we’ve covered but then eventually offered good riddance. How about how unglued we sometimes feel stepping on a plane for a business trip, or how we fall nearly giddy with the thought of an evening alone in a hotel room? We are loved not enough, or too much, or feel out of control, or too much in control. We are sometimes broken, sometimes miraculous. We don’t have time for women friends, but fade without them and miss them like fingers and toes lost. We talk as if working mothers is a relatively new phenomenon, yet,women of color have been working in this country for centuries, for no, then little, now still unequal pay to white women, yet the plight of working moms became a cause for attention when white women entered the work scene. If we can’t speak openly about that, then there’s no way we can talk about our differences, and possibilities, as women of color and white women at work together. It’s easy to get lulled to sleep in the silence of the things we don’t discuss; they move to the back, they get mossy and fester from lack of sun and airtime. I worry that if we don’t talk about our fears, worries, secret joys, successes and epic failings, we won’t have the words we need when it is time to speak up on

behalf of one another. Will we use our voices for good, if they are out of practice and rusted? Will we speak up in meetings when we could? Bring our voices and perspectives to risky, but high potential ideas? Innovation? So, friends, let’s make a pact. Are you in? Let’s talk more openly. To each other, to our friends, neighbors and daughters with the relentless authenticity of courageous women, hell bent on knitting together the voices and experiences we share, so that we are all the better, the happier, and more successful for it. Most of all, let’s talk more openly at work, that is where we can impact change the most, where our shared experiences have the most power to transform one another’s experience for the better. And, as we know is the case with women and girls, investing in each other’s well-being and success at work creates a multiplier for our own performance, for each other, and for the good of our organizations. I’m ready to talk, are you? Please join the conversation on our weekly Times Union blog, blogs.timesunion.com/ momsatwork. W

Corey Jamison shares writing the Moms@Work blog with Deb Best. Join

Corey and Deb’s conversations at blog. timesunion.com/momsatwork, and in the collective social media channels: Corey on Twitter: @CoreyJamisonLLC Deb on Twitter: @debmbest Follow us @CRWomenAtWork

capregionwomenatwork.com | 47

MEALS ON THE GO

Queen Mabb Rachel Fleischman Mabb brings seasonal dishes to the Ruck

Rachel Fleischman Mabb, head chef at the Ruck in Troy 

By Brianna Snyder Photos by John Carl D’Annibale

“I

guess I’ve always been into food,” says Rachel Fleischman Mabb, head chef at the Ruck in Troy. Mabb cooked with her mom and her grandmother when she was growing up, and when she visited her dad, who “couldn’t cook anything,” Mabb says, laughing, she got to experiment. “When I was out of high school, I realized [cooking] was something I wanted to do as a career. It hadn’t even occurred to me, actually,” she says. “A friend of mine said, ‘I don’t understand why you don’t just go to cooking school.’ I said, ‘That’s a great idea!,’ and two weeks later I went to cooking school.” Mabb, originally from Brooklyn, spent summers visiting her grandmother in the Capital District. “It was a great experience, because she had a huge garden and I would come up and we would tan and we’d get to weed the garden, which at the time I didn’t think was a fantastic time, but I appreciate it now as an adult,” she says. “I got a lot of exposure to making food from scratch and getting to do the whole gamut of seeing something grow and then utilizing it.” Like most contemporary chefs, Mabb’s a believer in eating local, organic and fresh. She’s been head chef at the Ruck for a little over a year, and since she’s been there, she’s done a lot to upgrade the menu — which was previously bar48 | women@work

foodesque (think chicken fingers and burgers) — to bring it more in line with the sophistication of the beer selection for which the Ruck is famous. Go to the Ruck today, and you’re likely to find a special that complements a new beer on tap and a menu comprising food that reflects what’s local and what’s in season. If you’ve been to the Ruck, you know it’s a beer-junkie’s paradise. It frequently

Top Tip for Healthy Cooking “Use fresh ingredients and think about what kind of fats you use and how you use them. Because they’re not all bad — like olive oil, avocado, that kind of thing.”

Cider-Nut Squash Soup Yield approx 8 dinner portions Ingredients 1

Granny apple, cored and coarsely chopped 1 Medium red onion, cored and coarsely chopped 1 Butternut squash, peeled, deseeded, and coarsely chopped 2 Ounces (½ stick) butter 1 ½ Teaspoons chili powder ½ Teaspoon ground cinnamon ½ Teaspoon ground black pepper ¼ Teaspoon cayenne or chipotle powder ¼ Teaspoon paprika Pinch dry sage or a finely chopped sage leaf 1 Pint of cider — a sweeter variety, such as Woodchuck, works nicely 1 Pint water ½ Cup buttermilk ½ Cup heavy cream ¼ Cup chopped fresh parsley Method 1. Saute apples and onions in butter, cooking on low-medium heat until liquids are released and the vegetables are soft. 2. Add all of the dry spices and cook for a minute or two to allow the spices to release their essential oils. 3. Add the cider and the water, bring to a boil, and reduce to a simmer. Cook for 15 or so minutes until all of the vegetables are super soft. 4. Add chopped parsley, then puree everything with an immersion blender, blender, or food processor until smooth. Return to pot and add cream and buttermilk. Adjust seasonings (add salt if desired) and simmer to blend flavors (at least 5 minutes).

wins local accolades for having When asked what foods Must-Have the best beer selection in the she especially loves to cook, Pantry Items region. And as of this writing, Mabb says, “I get like a dog the bar/restaurant is on the with a bone about food, so FRESH THYME brink of opening its second I’ll get really excited about Any kind floor for special beer dinners something in particular and of FRESH and tastings. that’s all I’ll want to make. VEGGIES I Mabb says her big challenge I went through a period can get my was transforming her kitchen where I was obsessed with hands on from a crew of semi-skilled line making mole and Central EGGS, I cooks to trained and enthusiasAmerican food, tamales and love eggs tic food-makers. working a lot with corn. CHEESE “I started with the basics: I went to Spain and came teaching them how to make back and was making all stock. We stopped using gravy kinds of tapas. But what mix and started making our own gravy. is probably my biggest love is Italian We stopped buying deli meats and roasted cooking.” our own turkey and used the bones to Mabb describes the food at the Ruck as make the stock and the gravy,” she says. “more seasonally inspired.” “We use really “Over the past year I’ve been really proud good ingredients that are of the seasons of the staff we have. They’ve transformed and local,” she says. “Those are more than from being just these like wing slingers to just buzz words. They really do make rebeing actual, capable cooks.” ally good food, if you pay attention.” W

Note: You can top this soup with a variety of things. Grilled swiss chard, crumbled chicken sausage, or a dollop of seasoned yogurt or raita are all delicious choices I have opted for in the past, but really you are only limited by your imagination!

capregionwomenatwork.com | 49

Sandwiched Between

Tips for managing your aging parents and your life

aring for a parent is a reversal of roles that is uncomfortable, especially when wrapped in the idea of lives winding down. Our parents are aging, and with that comes decisions about health and home. And as hard as it is to plan for that time, it’s critical that adult children make sure their aging parents have made their wishes known before there’s a crisis. “The community care system is still very fragmented, and with all the changes in health care delivery now, people don’t understand what services 50 | women@work

By Jennifer Gish

they can access and how to access them. It’s almost too late when they’re in the hospital,” says Nora Baratto, director of case management at St. Peter ’s Hospital and the CHOICES Elder Care Consulting Program. “The best thing I think elderly parents and their children can do is sit down and have a conversation about what it is they want.” The discussions may be difficult, but there is help, and having the talk early can eliminate stress both on elderly parents and those who fit into the “sandwich

generation,” simultaneously caring for aging parents and children.

Here are six points to consider: Health care proxy: This designates a “health care agent,” the person who will speak for an aging family member’s medical wishes — whether end-of-life decisions or not — if the patient is unable to speak for themselves. It can also include a list of those wishes. “That doesn’t mean that you’re

“

Photos: GettyImages. Holding hands, Henglein and Steets; Icons, appleuzr.

giving up control over what you want,” Baratto tells aging parents. “It simply means that in the event that you’re not able to speak for yourself, you have an advocate who knows what you want.” You can find forms to guide you through the health care proxy process at the AARP website (aarp.org) or at doyourproxy.org. This should ideally be done in conjunction with a living will, which covers end-of-life decisions, such as whether a critically ill parent desires to be put on a ventilator. A lawyer also can guide families through the paperwork, says Monika Boeckmann, executive director of Senior Services of Albany. If a lawyer isn’t an affordable option, help is available within the community. Legal aid centers, some public libraries and senior services coordinators in various municipalities are good resources. Power of Attorney: This document gives a trusted person legal authority to handle a person’s business affairs, such as finances or general well-being, if the aging person is unable, Boeckmann says. It doesn’t typically include medical decisions in most states, she says. Living arrangements: When discussing living arrangements, it’s important to be realistic yet flexible in order to meet an aging parent’s desires. “Staying in a person’s home is one of the most desirable [options],” Boeckmann says. “It doesn’t have to be in the home they currently own. Stay in a home but not stay in a five-bedroom home with a yard. It really is how can you live as independently as possible based on your current financial situation. ... It’s OK to

pay someone to help you a little bit than to ultimately give up everything and go into a nursing home, but people have to be OK with someone coming in two or three hours.” Those discussions should also include what family member an elderly parent may want to live with if it’s an option, Baratto says. While adult children might think they’re the top choice, some aging parents would rather live with their alsoretired siblings. Financial planning: “You plan for your kids to go to college, you plan for your retirement, a lot of [aging parents] already made their burial arrangements, but you’re not planning for an acute care crisis. That’s really what we need to do now,” Baratto says. Aging parents and their caregivers should become familiar with their insurance plan and what sort of things are covered, and then have a financial plan in place to deal with things that aren’t. Preventative care: “I think what we really need to instill in our parents is being proactive because that’s a generation that never spent money on themselves. They always saved, and sometimes they take care of their cars better than they do themselves,” Baratto says. “They want to save for their kids, but we really have to look at helping them change their mindset that the minute they see that something’s going wrong, and they’re starting to deteriorate, they’re in touch with the doctor.” Addressing health issues early can sometimes stop them from becoming a bigger, and more expensive, issue. Not everything should be chalked up to getting old.

Our parents are aging, and with that comes decisions about health and home.

”

A geriatric care manager: “One of the best things that older people can do is contact the office for the aging and the other thing they can do is hire a geriatric care manager,” Baratto says. “That’s the beauty of our CHOICES program. ... We can go out there and we can say, ‘This is what your options are.’ We’re giving them a customized plan of care.” A geriatric care manager can help you understand what services are available, create a plan, and even come back and help you navigate the system later on if it becomes necessary. Baratto says geriatric care managers can cost from $125 to $150 an hour and some charge assessment fees, but they can help you get started on what to consider in your planning and potentially save you costly mistakes later on. The website for the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers (caremanager. org) allows you to type in your ZIP code and find a qualified professional near you. Another helpful thing about involving a third party, such as a care manager, is they can serve as a buffer between aging parent and adult child if the discussion becomes tense. “Sometimes you have to have that neutral party in because the expectation of the parent [for the adult child] is, ‘Oh you will take care of me, and you will do this, and I don’t want to go to any home,’” Baratto says. “But I’ve had to say sometimes, ‘Well, you don’t want to go to a home, but you’re also telling me that you don’t want to pay for any care in the home, and your son is saying that he has to work eight hours, so how are we going to work this out? What’s a compromise?” W capregionwomenatwork.com | 51

There’s No Place Like

Home Learning to cope with the college grad who has returned to his or her childhood bedroom

B Head

oomers, meet boomerangers. That’s the new generation of college graduates, crippled by student loan debt and a slow economy, who are moving back in with Mom and Dad in droves. According to a 2012 survey by the Pew Report, 3 in 10 people between the ages of 25 and 34 are living at home. And, unlike their counterparts in the ‘70s, who would have rather lived with nine people in one room than move home, they’re not ashamed of it. The report goes on to say, “Large majorities say they’re satisfied with their living arrangements (78%) and upbeat about their future finances (77%).” While moving home with your parents may not be the dream you went into college with, the comfort level may come from the high numbers of people in the same position. Cindy Dort of Ballston Spa, whose son Steven Duncan moved home a little more than a year ago after graduating from college, says she knows of few families with similar-age children who aren’t in the same position. It means Duncan has 52 | women@work

plenty of people to vent with when he has friends over to Dort’s house, but it doesn’t make it easier. Duncan, 24, has a degree in psychology from King’s College. He also owes more than $91,000 in loans. His monthly payment is $1,250 each month. The only jobs he found in the first year after graduation were manual labor jobs that didn’t pay enough to allow Duncan to pay his loans, his car loan, car insurance and credit card payments. Even without paying rent, he’s floundering. His mother and stepfather help with his monthly payments. In late July, Duncan was about to start a job with Staples as a sales associate, but his attitude about the future was still dark. “If I had it to do over again, I wouldn’t have gone away to a private college. If I’d gotten a job right out of school, I’d be in the same position I’m in now, without the debt,” he says. “Now that I’ll be making more money, maybe I’ll be able to move out of my mom’s house when I’m 45.” The disappointment Duncan feels has made him hard to live with, Dort says,

although she and her husband, Greg Dort, didn’t hesitate about letting him move home. “We knew if he didn’t find a job he would be home. He’s my child and I welcome him home at any time,” Dort says. She also has two younger sons, 11 and 13. She doesn’t expect Duncan to tell her where he’s going or when he’ll be home. The rules are the same as they ever were — don’t drink and drive. But he does need to help out around the house. “If you ask him to do something, like ‘hey, go clean the bathroom,’ he’ll do it,” Dort says. “But he never thinks of doing things like that himself.” Duncan says he was accustomed to taking care of himself, and only himself. The re-entry into family life was a struggle at first, he says. Psychologist Phil Rainer says communication when the living arrangement begins is crucial. The maxim, “my house, my rules,” is too strict because parents are dealing with a young adult who has taken care of themselves. It is, however, reasonable for the parent to have a sense

Photo: Donna Day/GettyImges.

By Leigh Hornbeck

of their child’s schedule, Rainer says. “It’s just not going to be the same dialogue as when they were in middle school or high school, about who is going to be at the party and do their parents know,” says Rainer, who is chief clinical officer at Capital Counseling in Albany. Rainer’s advice for 20-somethings is straightforward: If you want to be treated like an adult, act like an adult. Pick up after yourself and if you’re in good shape, it’s nice to push the lawnmower around the yard and not expect to get paid for it. Rainer found himself in the situation himself, when his daughter moved home after graduation from college three years ago. She had a degree in sociology and hoped to go into the human services field until she found out her job at Starbucks paid better than an entry-level job in human services. She changed directions and started a graduate program in a different field. She lived at home for a year and a half while she figured things out, Rainer says.

ADULTS LIVING AT HOME

Ages 18-24

10AM - 4PM

ALBANY MARRIOTT, 189 WOLF ROAD

2007

Ages 25-31

MONDAY, OCT. 13, 2014

2012

51% Living at home

56% Living at home

63% Enrolled in college

66% Enrolled in college

Not enrolled in college 40% Employed 51% Unemployed 55% Not in labor force

Not enrolled in college 44% Employed 58% Unemployed 61% Not in labor force

5% Married 58% Unmarried

9% Married 61% Unmarried

14% 12% 24% 18%

16% 14% 27% 20%

Living at home Employed Unemployed Not in labor force

2% Married 24% Unmarried

Living at home Employed Unemployed Not in labor force

Largest Job Fair in the Capital District.

Bring Your Resume. Dress for Success.

2% Married 26% Unmarried

Source: Pew Research Center

“The moving-home trend is a new thing as a larger cultural trend and families don’t have a lot of guidelines to go by,” Rainer says. A generation ago, or even just 15 to 20 years ago, college wasn’t as expensive and one could expect to find an apartment, split the rent with a roommate and make ends meet while building a career. Now, it’s harder. Dan Berggren, 65, was the exception during a time when most of his peers didn’t return home after college, but he’s never forgotten the benefit of the soft landing his parents provided. Berggren came home briefly between graduating from college and entering the Army, and then again in 1975 for a longer stint after his three years in the Army were over. He wanted to find a way to build a life in his native Adirondacks, and lived with his parents while he explored his options. Eventually, he was accepted to graduate school at Syracuse University. He went on to a more than 20-year career at SUNY Fredonia as a music teacher and established himself as a folk musician. When his own daughter graduated from college and wasn’t quite sure what she was going to do next, Berggren and his wife, Nancy, were glad they, too, could provide safe haven while she chose her next steps. W