YP SPOTLIGHT
Young Professionals Spotlight: Shoshannah Belzer By Batya Carl Shoshanah Belzer has been living in Washington, D.C. for eight years. She grew up in West Hartford, Connecticut, and majored in interior design at Drexel University in Philadelphia. She works for a commercial real estate firm. 1.) You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why? I’d be a swirled mix of royal purple and red, because I have the hardest time choosing just one color and I love that particular combination. 2.) What is the best advice you have given to someone? I think one of my favorites is to always let the people in your life who love you be there for you. Let them be your anchors that you keep you grounded and sane. Sometimes it’s really hard to ask for help, especially from the people closest to you, because you’re afraid of being a burden, but the whole point of having those close relationships is to have people you can go to whether things are good or bad. 3.) Describe yourself in 5 words or less. Creative, Artist, Independent, Snarky, Cat.
4.) In DC, you are notorious for throwing great, themed parties. Which is your favorite and why? Definitely “Have a Geeky New Year.” Obviously, it was geek themed, celebrating several geek fandoms including Disney, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Sherlock, Orphan Black (really just everything on
the BBC) and we just really went all out for it, and by “all out” I mean, I went just a tiny bit overboard, but it made my incredibly nerdy self very happy. 5.) What do you want to be when you grow up? A published author, an interior designer and an accomplished singer. 6.) What brings you the greatest joy? Creating. Any artistic form in which I’m creating something, be it through designing, writing, painting, drawing, etc., that’s what makes me happiest. 7.) If you were to get rid of one state in the U.S., which would it be and why? West Virginia. I just don’t see a purpose to West Virginia, nothing happens there. 8.) Fill in the blank: There’s no place like ____________. Rivendell. [Fictitious elven enclave from the “Lord of the Rings” book series by J.R.R. Tolkien] 9.) You wake up and find yourself in one of your favorite books. What does your life look like? I’ve been sorted into Gryffindor and I’m about to go to Madam Hooch’s flying class so that I can learn how to ride a broomstick.
The Dating Coach ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 68
Multiple Dating ÁÁ CONTINUED FROM P. 68
If you worry about bumping into the guy or girl from last night on another date at Starbucks, don’t do it. If all your friends are doing it and you don’t like the idea of it, don’t do it. It must feel right for you. Here’s my alternative: I would like to propose an alternative to multiple dating. In the interest of saving time and meeting more than one girl or boy at a time, I’d like to introduce an option I call “multiple sifting.” In this process, you do a one hour “coffee date” with multiple people rather than invest your energy in multiple fulllength dates. The goal of multiple sifting is to figure out in the shortest amount of time with whom to invest in fulllength dates. No sitting through painful first dates for three hours when the possibility was nixed in three minutes, no risk of hurting anyone or destroying trust, no dating burnout. If your one-hour coffee date goes well, go out on a real first date. If not, you’ve saved hours, emotional wear and tear and probably a few bucks too. Here is the catch, after three dates with each person you’re “sifting,” you need to pick the one with the highest potential and date them properly. You can’t drag out multiple dating relationships for months. That is inappropriate, insensitive to the people you are dating and probably means you’re not ready to settle down with one partner yet. Furthermore, even multiple sifting is not for everybody. You should be asking yourself or a dating mentor the four questions we explored earlier before you begin multiple sifting to make sure you approach the process in a balanced and healthy way. In conclusion, know yourself and your dating style before you even contemplate double dating. Explore your age, proximity, dating maturity and personality type before making this decision. Never feel pressured or bullied into multiple dating by a friend or shadchan if it doesn’t feel right. Think about multiple sifting and if it is right for you. I say let the dates begin. May the best man/woman win!
yourself with more than one person, to determine if it will lead to “relationship dating” or not. I hate to put numbers on dates, because some people connect quickly and others, well, let’s just say they’re like onions, but it’s so worth it if you like them. However, the shift from “small talk” in the acquaintance phase to the deeper more meaningful connection tends to occur around the third date. The shift is the point when you are thinking to yourself, I have some kind of investment in this person. And therein lies the key - liking someone enough to merit your investment. It’s something that doesn’t always happen between two amazing people on paper. So usually, in dating more than one person at a time, only one person has potential to be Mr. or Mrs. Right, and often enough neither one is. So when is it wrong to date more than one person? Firstly, when you start to scramble whether you already told the same story to the person in front of you, or if you shared about your moms terrible cooking and your bad spending habits or if that was your other date? If you don’t know how long you’ve been dating each person, or even worse, you start to like them both. Secondly, for the “I wear my emotions on my sleeve” type, I would say, this is not for you as well. These people can only see the good and tend to fall into “investment” very quickly. This is your friend that came back starry eyed
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10.) What are you known for? Probably for baking really good cakes and cupcakes. 11.) What would be your idea of a perfect day? Waking up and finding that I had control over time so that I could give myself more hours in the day! Then, spending said day in an artistic delirium of singing, dancing, writing and drawing, that would just go on forever because I have control over time. Yeah, that sounds about right. 12.) What is on your bucket list? Going to every Disney park that exists. Travelling the world. And finding a way to get away with having a pet tiger; I’ll name him Rajah, and he’ll be the coolest pet ever! 13.) What inspires you? Everything. Anything can become inspiration if your mind is open to it. 14.) You are stranded on a desert island. Who would you take with you? My immediate family and my best friends. Really, the people I can’t live without. Interested in connecting with this week’s featured young professional? Email Ypspotlight@kolhabirah.com.
It's polite to ask first so that you are on the same page
It's not all about NY - They can make the effort too...
after a first date, and thought this could be it after one date (not that this is bad, but bad if it happens all the time). If you are indecisive, this is a set up for disaster and if you are overly analytical, you will likely be spending all your free time comparing your likes and dislikes lists that you won’t be able to move forward. Lastly, if you walk into a restaurant with a date, and get “caught in the act” by running into last night’s date, well, that’s another article. But to the person that keeps things at the acquaintance level, until they decide to move forward to “relationship dating” in terms of connection, this is what can keep them from burning out too quickly and not missing opportunity when it comes knocking, or sometimes, appreciating the person they have in
front of them. There’s a lot of pressure in the shidduch-dating world. Saying “yes” to someone automatically means you are viewing each other as potential marriage partners. But sometimes, to find your marriage partner, we have to say “yes” to more than one at a time, and know when to say “no” to the wrong one at the right time. The Shadchan Next Door has extensive experience in dating and relationships. She prides herself in helping people make wise choices in the sometimes complex world of dating and is often an emergency phone call for couples when they are stuck or questioning their choice. She hopes her words and experience will connect to her readers and help them find Mr. and Mrs. Right all the sooner.
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