The Jewish Home | OCTOBER 29, 2015 The Jewish Home | AUGUST 26, 2021
was laughing in the end. It should be noted that I often find dealing with matters at a later time is often better than mentioning it during a time of anger. As mentioned above, you may choose to pick your battles and only focus on major items when they occur. Another successful strategy is to postpone dealing with the issue until your child is better able to listen. Hurt and irate kids are less likely to listen than a calmer, more thoughtful child you’ll encounter later in the day. You will successfully lose the immediate “battle” but win the long-term war.
cized. You wouldn’t want to live in a home where everything you do is mentioned and critiqued and neither does your child. It’s also important to bear in mind a crucial point: just because you know they did something wrong doesn’t
It’s hard to educate children to recognize their behavior is wrong while learning to control themselves from reacting but this is our job. Keep in mind that if they feel that they get yelled at for everything then they won’t take an adult’s response as se-
Focus on what’s important and ignore the rest.
An Unpleasant Environment Besides being smart and effective, there are many reasons to not fight everything. Arguing over every possible infraction creates an incredibly unpleasant environment for everyone. It’s unfair to your child to have them in a home where everything they do is over-analyzed and criti-
mean they understand that they erred. You may realize that how they just spoke was disrespectful, but they may not. You know that hitting someone for touching your toy is wrong but young kids don’t see it that way; they feel their violent behavior was fully justified.
riously. Additionally, if they are yelled at too many times, they may risk becoming hurt and angry themselves.
Keep Your Sanity Parents know sanity feels like it’s in short supply – it is. If you try to control everything and nitpick ev-
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erything your child does, you will be incredibly stressed. You will burn out, and you, too, will be living in an unpleasant environment. Who wants to discipline all day? Who wants to live like they need to patrol the world continuously? It can be beneficial, too, for the adults in your child’s life to not be disciplining, criticizing, or irritable all day. It’s not good for your child, and it’s not good for you. Parenting is best done with a strategy and a plan on how to best meet your child’s chinuch needs. By thoughtfully choosing what to focus on and when to deal with each issue, we can prudently guide our children to personal growth and improvement. Daven for guidance and shep nachas!
Sara Rayvych, MSEd, has her master’s in general and special education. She has been homeschooling for over 10 years in Far Rockaway. She can be contacted at RayvychHomeschool@gmail.com.
