WIISSHH HHOOMMEE nn M M 2014 TTHHEE JJEEW AYAY2 41,, 2012
70 90
Notable
Quotes
Compiled by Nate Davis
“Say What?” When I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close. – Michael Bloomberg while talking to the New York Times about his efforts to eliminate smoking, obesity and gun violence In honor of Earth Day, Apple announced that it will recycle all of its used products for free. That’s right, they’re recycling Apple products. And then Samsung said, “Beat you to it.” - Jimmy Fallon Here’s the attitude: “Ohhhh, don’t make me do this. Ohhhh, this is too hard.” - Speaker of the House John Boehner talking about his fellow Republicans attitude on immigration reform It wasn’t mocking, listen, you all know me. You tease the ones you love. - Ibid., after facing a backlash from Republicans
Dutch designers have created a baby’s onesie that comes with built-in Wi-Fi. That way, your child can search the web for better parents. - Seth Myers
A two-state solution will be clearly underscored as the only real alternative. Because a unitary state winds up either being an apartheid state with second-class citizens or it ends up being a state that destroys the capacity of Israel to be a Jewish state. – Secretary of State Kerry to a group of senior foreign policy officials
I have had the privilege of meeting literally every major world leader in the last five years. - Vice President Joe Biden
I do not believe, nor have I ever stated, publicly or privately, that Israel is an apartheid state or that it intends to become one. Second, I have been around long enough to also know the power of words to create a misimpression, even when unintentional, and if I could rewind the tape, I would have chosen a different word to describe my firm belief that the only way in the long term to have a Jewish state and two nations and two peoples living side by side in peace and security is through a two-state solution. - Ibid., after facing a fierce backlash
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is running for re-election, and he’s got a catchy campaign slogan: “Forget my first term. I was on crack.”
A zoo in China has a depressed panda so they just installed a TV in its cage to cheer it up. Then the panda said, “Or, you could just let me out of animal jail.” - Jimmy Fallon
- David Letterman Domino’s debuted a new pizza where instead of dough, they’re using fried chicken. It’s called “Domino’s deep dish you’re all going to die. - Conan O’Brien
Next week Google will give the public the chance to buy its $1,500 Google Glass, finally ending the stereotype that people who wear glasses are smart. - Jimmy Fallon
I am a bully! - The sign an Ohio judge made a 62-year-old man hold for five hours on the a street corner after he was convicted of harassing a neighbor’s disabled children
I never know what to get the Earth for Earth Day. So I just bought it an iTunes gift card and buried it. – Jimmy Kimmel
It’s nice to meet you. – What a robot said to President Obama when he visited the Miraikan museum, which showcases Japanese emerging science and innovation. I can kick a soccer ball, too. - Ibid. OK, come on. - President Obama in response, before playing soccer with the robot
If you look at the results of what we’ve done over the last five years, it is fair to say that our alliances are stronger. - President Obama discussing his foreign policy with Ed Henry of Fox News