Ever since the government’s spying scandal was exposed, sales of the novel 1984 have jumped 6,000 percent on Amazon. Yeah, 1984 shows how scary it would be if society tracked everything you do. And if you want to read it, just buy it on a website that tracks everything you do. - Jimmy Fallon [Obamacare] is a term, by the way, that I coined and used proudly long before the administration decided it was a good idea. - Anthony Weiner to the New York Times 20 brazen self-professed illegal aliens have just invaded my DC office. Obama’s lawless order gives them de facto immunity from U.S. law. - Tweet by Rep Steve King (R-Iowa) on Thursday, June 13, after demonstrators held a “sit in” in his office If we can’t secure the doors to a congressional office building, how in the world does John McCain and Chuck Schumer think we’re going to secure the borders? - Ibid
The Taliban is now recruiting women to become suicide bombers. And it’s not easy to qualify. The women must be able to push a car loaded with explosives because, as you know, they’re not allowed to drive over there. - Jay Leno
The only true democracy is one that is based on a people that are virtuous, and that’s what you’ve maintained through your traditions. - Sen. Rang Paul (R-KY) at a private luncheon with Orthodox Jews in Lakewood, after touring Beis Medrash Govoah The guy who blew the whistle on the NSA scandal is a former security worker named Edward Snowden. He is a high school dropout. He was making $122,000 a year. He lived in Hawaii...And he gave it all up. So not only is he a whistleblower. He’s also a moron. - Jay Leno
Our government spied on every single one of your phone calls, but it couldn’t find two pot-smoking deadbeat Bostonians with a hotline to terrorist central in Chechnya…really? And it’s built an apparatus to sneak into all of the good guys’ communications, but oopsy-daisy! It missed the Fort Hood mass-murder of our own troops, despite this Islamic terrorist declaring his ideology in numerous army counseling sessions…and on his own business cards. But… no red flags there. Really? - Sarah Palin at the Faith and Freedom Coalition Road to Majority 2013 conference I say let Allah sort it out. - Ibid, in reference to the Obama administration’s decision last week to arm Syrian rebels
Well, [newly elected Iranian President Hassan Rowhani] was seen as the most reformminded of all the candidates who ran this time. That being said, they were all very conservative. In U.S. terms, it was as if all the candidates for the presidency came from the Tea Party. - CBS News reporter Elizabeth Palmer
The man who loved polls too much warns the president not to... Not only is President Obama leading from behind, now he’s leading from behind Bill Clinton. After dithering for two years over what to do about the slaughter in Syria, the president was finally shoved into action by the past and perhaps future occupant of his bedroom. Clinton told John McCain during a private Q. and A. on Tuesday in New York that Obama should be more forceful on Syria and should not rationalize with opinion polls that reflect Americans’ reluctance to tangle in foreign crises. ... As Maggie Haberman reported in Politico, Clinton said at the McCain Institute for International Leadership that the public elects presidents and lawmakers to “look around the corner and see down the road” and “to win,” not to follow polls. When the man who polled where to take his summer vacation ... tells you you’re a captive of polls, you’d better listen up. ...The silver-tongued campaigner has turned out to be a leaden salesman in the Oval Office. On issues from drones to gun control to taxes to Syria, the president likes to cite public opinion polls to justify his action or inaction. He seems incapable of getting in front of issues and shaping public and Congressional opinion with a strong selling job. ... [A]s the White House announced this pittance of a policy on Thursday evening, the president was nowhere to be seen. ... The less Obama leads, the more likely it is that history will see him as a pallid interregnum between two chaotic Clinton eras. - Maureen Dowd, New York Times I think he is really coming to Connecticut to congratulate us on getting the Cigna headquarters here and getting ESPN’s digital operations here, both of which considered Texas before deciding on Connecticut. Maybe he can talk about Texas’ higher crime rate, the higher murder rate, and higher assault rate. Also, low educational achievement. - Connecticut Governor Dan Malloy, who spoke with reporters outside of a Connecticut restaurant where Texas Gov. Rick Perry was meeting with business owners to convince them to move their businesses to Texas The big story continues to be 29-year-old Edward Snowden, the man behind the leaking of the NSA spy scandal. Speculation is that Snowden is hiding in Hong Kong and could be working for China. Hey, let’s get real. Aren’t we all pretty much working for China? - Jay Leno
Mr. President, no one is saying you broke any laws; we’re just saying it’s a little bit weird you didn’t have to. –The Daily Show’s John Oliver on the NSA spying scandal
Ahmadinejad is retiring. He’s going to spend all of his time on his ranch in Crawford, Texas. - David Letterman
A recent report finds that by the year 2043 white people will no longer be the majority in America. And by 2050, people will be saying, “I’m not racist. One of my best friends is white” - Conan O’Brien
President Obama is traveling to Africa later this month, and it’s got some people upset because the trip is expected to cost taxpayers more than 60 million dollars. It’s mostly for security, hotel accommodations — plus Biden wants a giraffe. – Jimmy Fallon
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Due to the government spy scandal, sales of the classic George Orwell book 1984 have skyrocketed. So the fallout is worse than we thought. It’s making Americans read. - Conan O’Brien