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OCTOBER 14, 2016 | The Jewish Home OCTOBER 29, 2015 | The Jewish Home
The Zahav family with a guest
Meet the Zahavs They may live in a cozy little Jerusalem apartment, but that doesn’t stop Tuvia and Chana Zahav from hosting 20-24 people every Friday night as well as a sizeable group of lunch guests on Shabbos. “Somehow,” says Chana, “Hashem allows our living room to expand.” The Zahavs live in the area of Rechov Shmuel Hanavi, easily accessible to the Old City, the center of town, and the Maalot Dafna/Ramat Eshkol areas. It wasn’t always so. When they were first married, the Zahavs lived in a more remote location, and “we would daven for guests” but it didn’t always happen. Now, their apartment is an open house, with guests coming and going. “We love it and we love people, so we feel truly blessed, boruch Hashem.” For Chana, these blessings are truly special. She and Tuvia are married nearly thirteen years and are still waiting to be blessed with children of their own. “So aside from my husband’s Torah learning, we feel this is our way of contributing to klal Yisroel. It’s as if Hashem sent us His children to nurture until we have our own, b’ezras Hashem.” There’s an open atmosphere at the Zahav evening seudah, with religious and non-religious guests min-
gling easily. But the daytime seudah is more formal, with separate seating that usually attracts the seminary and ye-
will then call them during the week to inform them about the basic standards of dress observed in her home. “They have always taken it well,” she says. The Zahavs say that their most memorable guest was a young girl of Ukrainian heritage who had recently discovered that she is Jewish. As a result, she had come to learn in seminary in Eretz Yisroel. “Her story was so inspiring!” says Chana. Another “interesting” guest was the homeless woman who was so selfless she would consistently give away any contributions she received to those less fortunate than her. “We all thought she
Chana cooks for Shabbos whenever she gets a chance, but mostly on Wednesdays and Thursdays. She’s also an expert at making the dollar (or shekel) stretch. “When I make chicken burgers,” she says, “I use one whole chicken and lots of carrots instead of using several whole chickens which we simply couldn’t afford to do week after week.” Funding for their hachnosas orchim seems to come min hashamayim. “Several years in a row,” says Chana, “we’ve had different people magically show up at our home on erev Pesach with gigantic vegetable deliveries. They told us they just had extra.” Chana and Tuvia are
Once in a while she’s had to walk a guest to the door at 3:00AM, give them a hug, and say, “I love you! Good night!” shiva crowd. “Both are great in different ways,” Chana observes. “It can get quite lively at night and we get to know lots of different people. But it’s also nice to have deeper conversations and a bit more quiet for lunch.” The Zahavs try to include everyone in the conversations. “We go around the table asking people where they’re from,” Chana says. “Then they can either say a dvar Torah or an inspirational or funny story. This works out really well as it helps us avoid inappropriate conversation plus it makes it easier for us to really get to know our guests.” What if someone shows up dressed inappropriately? Chana admits that it’s certainly happened but they are careful not to lecture or judge their guests. Instead, she waits. If these guests start coming on a regular basis, she
might really be Eliyahu Hanavi!” The Zahavs consider it a successful Shabbos when all their guests get along and everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. Chana admits that there were the rare occasions when she and Tuvia were publicly insulted by a guest in front of the others. “That was hard,” she admits, “but boruch Hashem part of hosting is letting everyone in.” Otherwise, the only awkward situations they experience is when their guests are having such a good time they don’t want to leave. “We do encourage people to stay a bit after the meal,” Chana says, “but when we’re very tired we are very clear about turning in for the night.” Once in a while she’s had to walk a guest to the door at 3:00 AM, give them a hug, and say, “I love you! Good night!”
grateful for the guests who fill their home with joy every week. Do they ever crave private quality time? “We’re fine,” Chana says. “We take nighttime walks together during the week. And we do Melave Malka together on Motzei Shabbos.” Do the Zahavs recommend that the rest of us open our doors to klal Yisroel every Shabbos? Only if we can do it
b’simcha. “Everyone should do the chessed that they enjoy. I am not the type to sit with a sick child for hours. I’ve done that and I came home so drained I just couldn’t function. But I love having guests.” Still, she warns would-be hosts to take it slow. “Some people enjoy a smaller table. Others may want to host once a month. It’s okay to push yourself just a bit beyond your normal, so you are growing. But don’t give beyond what you can give b’simcha.” Chana and Tuvia continue to be inspired by their guests, especially those who contact them years later saying that their Shabbos table made a tremendous difference in their lives. “Nobody knows how their acts of chessed affect others,” Chana points out. “A woman once shared with us that she was not yet Jewish when she ate at our home on Shabbos but that the experience made her feel so comfortable it reinforced her determination to convert.” The most important thing, say the Zahavs, is for guests and hosts to appreciate each other. “Judging each other favorably on both sides would go a long way to making us all better, more caring Jews!” The Beymans and the Zahavs can be contacted through Shabbat.com, a Jewish social network that allows Shabbos hosts and guests to connect with each other.
Chana Zahav with a few happy guests