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I’M DONE BEING YOUR POC GBF
Unpacking white womens’ obsession with queer people of color. Words by: Russell Tom Sun Art by: Ande Wittenmeier
Being a queer person of color in this world is already difficult enough, and the racism and queerphobia we face on a daily basis is extremely exhausting. Even as the world is starting to shift towards inclusivity, racism and queerphobia are still present. People — namely, white women — have just found smarter and better ways to mask their prejudices. White women often make it their mission to “befriend” queer people of color and “stand up” for their rights, then turn around and aid in their oppression behind closed doors. A prime example of this is the “liberalgirlfriend - conservative -boyfriend” trope that many white women actively participate in. Numerous white women preach racial equality and call out anti-LGBTQ rhetoric on social media, then turn around and date openly racist and homophobic assholes who they never confront. When queer people of color call out white women for enabling this behavior, they resort to the same bullshit excuses: “It’s not your relationship,” “It’s none of your business,” and “I can change him.” Sure you can, Katherine. Those bullshit Instagram infographics you post on your story won’t ever compensate for your actions. Men won’t change because you constantly allow them to be assholes.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Let’s discuss how white women fetishize queer people of color. First, the amount of times white girls have referred to me as their “gay best friend” (yeah, seriously) is astounding. Yes, I am gay, but you have no business sharing my sexuality with the world. These same women try to apply the “gay best friend” stereotype to other queer people who don’t identify as gay. When they are called out for it, they roll their eyes and say “isn’t it all the same?” Secondly, straight white women are obsessed with treating queer people as accessories in their lives. In their eyes, queer people exist to enable their toxic traits, give them fashion and dating advice, and say “YASSS GIRL” when they wear “fashionable” outfits from Shein. Outside of these restrictive stereotypes, queer peoples’ opinions and lives hold no actual substance to them. Countless times, I’ve tried to have discussions with these women that didn’t center men, sex, or other superficial things, and I’ve been given blank stares, interrupted, and straight-up silenced. God forbid I mention real-world issues that affect individuals outside of their white “feminist” bubble. I could only ever talk about subjects that were focused on THEM and THEIR needs and what THEY felt comfortable with. If I was ever uncomfortable or needed