Jerk March 2015

MARCH 2015 VOL XIV ISSUE IV SYRACUSE NEW YORK Your student fee

HIGHER CALLING

CONTENTS MARCH 2015 Higher Calling 24 Syracuse University student Amir Shams, a follower of the Bahá'í religion, uses his camera to retell his family's flee from Iran, to capture the persecution his Bahá'í family still faces, and to understand his past roots and current place.

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SAY MY NAME FEEDBACK PEEPS CLICKBATE

Crown Jewels 38 Take a cue from the spring runways of Erdem and Dries Van Noten by incorporating deep shades of emerald and hues of garnet into your transitioning wardrobe. The season's boldest color palette will undoubtedly help you shine bright.

The Imitation Game 48 Catching inspiration can be tough. Hollywood constantly draws from real life scenarios to fill theatres' seats, and these films snag Academy Awards because of our desire to see truth in our fiction.

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Cover Design by Abby Legge Illustration by Ryan Brondolo

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BACKDROP Machinery Hall

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TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC POLL Extraterrestrial Abduction Day

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NOISE ARTS & MUSIC

JERK THIS What you should hit up and bitch about this month.

SEX Sex Toy Story

BITCH OPINIONS Hack Attack

Hacking is a dangerous game.

Should we play?

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20

34

Trial Tribulations People accused of sexual assault have the right to a speedy trial, but university courts might be too quick to judge.

Butt Out SU's new tobacco ban is still hazy. So much smoke, they can't see the haters.

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Rainbow Bloods FDA's new policy sends gay blood donors to the back of the line.

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That's a Wrap Refusing to glove it before you love it should be unprotected by free speech.

Sleepy Head Get to know the activity that takes up almost half of your life.

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REWIND Modest Mouse

59

ALTRUIST Podcasts

60

AMPLIFIED Amanda Rogers

61

SYNAPSE Bad Bitches

SMUT FEATURES

FRAMED We Are One Being 30

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52

Man on the Street A local homeless man breaks the stereotypes surrounding people living on the streets.

Middle Ages Brewing Company Ten minutes from campus, an old warehouse brews about three dozen different beers ranging from Beast Bitter to Apocalypse Ale.

BACK OF BOOK 62

DISCOVERSYR African & Caribbean Central Market

64

SPEAKEASY Aimee Brill

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OBITCHUARY Sitcoms

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CLOSET CASE From customized kicks to badass brogues, every shoe has a story.

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FORM AND FUNCTION Boeheimburg

GAWK FASHION 46

STRIPPED Make a subtle statement with these gilded cuffs.

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Michelle Malia EDITOR

Kelley Anne Rowland

Maia Collette Henderson

MANAGING EDITOR

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

EDITORIAL

Heather Rounds ASST. FEATURES EDITOR Michaela Quigley ARTS AND MUSIC EDITOR Rebecca Shafer ASST. ARTS AND MUSIC EDITOR Susanna Heller OPINIONS EDITOR Eric King ASST. OPINIONS EDITOR Rachel Lockhart STYLE EDITOR Annika Downs ASST. STYLE EDITOR Chazz Inniss RESEARCH EDITOR Gigi Antonelle COPY EDITOR Rachel Young FACT CHECKER Bronte Schmit FACT CHECKER Julia Smith FRESHMAN INTERN Nicole Engelman FRESHMAN INTERN Katherine Fletcher FEATURES EDITOR

DESIGN

Abby Legge Kristie Cordon, Bianca Kim, Sofia Russo DESIGN DIRECTOR DESIGNERS

ART

Ryan Brondolo Katrina Ragland STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Sam Maller, Spencer Bodian, Renee Zhou, Rina Matsuno窶適ankhetr ILLUSTRATORS Frances Matos, Hannah Moore, Rob Byers, William Smith IV ILLUSTRATION DIRECTOR

PHOTOGRAPHY DIRECTOR

PUBLIC RELATIONS

Kaitlynn Cooney Anagha Das, Kennedy Patlan, Ashley Brolin, Spencer Bistricer PR DESIGNER Elizabeth Ching

COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR PR REPRESENTATIVES

WEB

Laura Cohen WEB EDITOR Caroline Cakebread ASST. WEB EDITOR Sarah Ibrahim WEB DESIGNER Shawna Rabbas PHOTO EDITOR Adham Elsharkawi DIGITAL INTERN Serena Sarch DIGITAL DIRECTOR

MULTIMEDIA

Olivia Monko ASST. MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Abby Schwartz ASST. MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Chris Sechler ASST. MULTIMEDIA EDITOR Adriana Ascencio SOCIAL EDITOR Jensen Cannon SOCIAL EDITOR Aidan Meyer MULTIMEDIA EDITOR

BUSINESS

Maria Ingaglio Anna Goodell AD REPRESENTATIVE Marisa Stark, Estella Xian PUBLISHER

AD DIRECTOR

CONTRIBUTORS Mike Liebenson, Gabriela Riccardi, Noah McFarlane, Madison Schleicher, Spencer Arbige, Sarah Peck, Nisha Stickles, Ediva Zanker, Tess Kornfeld, Marley Walker, Meredith Jeffers, Katie Drozynski, AbbyLeigh Charbonneau, Kerry Wolfe, Eric Chuang, Claire Dunderman, Ryan Drum, Katy Beals, Chaz Delgado

Melissa Chessher ADVISER

Through its content, Jerk is dedicated to enhancing insight through communication by providing an informal platform for the freedom of expression. The writing contained within this publication expresses the opinions of the individual writers. The ideas presented in this publication do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the Jerk Editorial Board. Furthermore, Jerk will not be held responsible for the individual opinions expressed within. Submissions, suggestions, and opinions are welcomed and may be printed without contacting the writer. Jerk reserves the right to edit or refuse submissions at the discretion of its editors. Jerk Magazine is published monthly during the Syracuse University academic year. All contents of the publication are copyright 2014 by their respective creators. No content may be reproduced without the expressed written consent of the Jerk Editorial Board.

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

SAY MY NAME A last name says a lot; it shows relation to your family, your heritage, your nationality. For some, it can even become something like a first name within friend groups. Last names are at once personal and public, referencing the past and holding implications for the future. Some consider their last name an extension of themselves; for others, it's little more than a set of letters organized in a certain way on a page.

I fall into the latter category. This winter, I legally removed my surname for reasons both personal and professional; so if you see my name listed as Michelle Malia on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, it's not because I'm substituting my middle name as my last to prevent job hunters from discovering my *~scandalous social media presence.

For others, like the man we feature in "Man on the Street" (page 30), total transparency amounts to vulnerability. Anonymity beats exposure in his case, and we respect that.

In other cases, writers find it difficult to cover controversial topics, like we do in this issue in "Trial Tribulations" (page 18). But as journalists, we always stand behind our work.

Keep on Jerking,

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FEEDBACK We may not always act on your feedback, but trust us: whether you're a fan or a hater, a long-timer or a firsttimer, we always at least read it. Keep the compliments and jibes coming.

Anonymous readership survey respondent, [December] loose [sic] the pretentiousness and you’ll succeed more than you already do

Glenn Allen, @glenn_a_allen [Jan. 12] Finally I’m up to date on @jerkmagazine after 18 months.

Looking forward to the new issue.

SHOW US SOME LOVE Jerk Magazine 126 Schine Student Center Syracuse, NY 13244 @jerkmagazine jerk@jerkmagazine.net jerkmagazine.net

Owen Gotimer, @BigO_Gotimer [Dec. 5] Picked up @jerkmagazine for the first time today! The single staffer feature has me cracking up! Jensen Cannon is sweet, cute & funny(ish)!

Erik Benjamin, @embenjamin14 [Dec. 4] Sorry to say @jerkmagazine that BIG EYES has no Oscar potential. Giglio said it best: “style above story”. It should hope for a Globe nod.

Anonymous readership survey respondent, [December] Jerk is the [sic] fucking dope af

FOLLOW, DON’T LEAD

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youtube.com/jerkmagazine

Jerk Magazine

facebook.com/jerkmagazine

@jerkmagazine

instagram.com/jerkmagazine

vimeo.com/jerkmagazine

Jerk contributors Photography by Katrina Ragland

MIKE LIEBENSON / Junior / Obitchuary The only thing scarier than writing for Jerk was writing for Eric King himself. The more I wrote, the more I found myself overcome with these tragic emotions about the death of the network sitcom.

After writing my first draft, I decided to wear all black the next day as way to mourn.

GABRIELA RICCARDI / Senior / "Higher Calling" Writing this piece, I was most surprised by the contrast between my expectations about being Baha'i and its realities. I'd thought that a religion with a social code that forbids drinking, drugs, and sex could make for a quiet college experience—but Amir is one of the most vibrant people I’ve ever met.

NOAH MCFARLANE / Freshman / "Crown Jewels" Working with Jerk was a lot of fun. I've never modeled before, so it was definitely a new experience. Everyone involved seemed like they knew what they were doing, and the whole process went smoothly. I've never been to Al's when it was completely empty. I wish I could have gotten a drink, though.

MADISON SCHLEICHER / Junior / Amplified When Jerk asked me to shoot for their upcoming issue, I jumped at the opportunity to incorporate my own artistry into the photographs. When the piano player I was photographing couldn’t transport her heavy piano to Schine, we improvised and found a piano in Setnor Auditorium. We were definitely not supposed to be there.

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JERK THIS

HIT

shit we like

ONE BIG HAPPY

NATIONAL FROZEN FOOD DAY

TIPPERARY HILL SHAMROCK RUN

March 6 Less prep time means more Netflix-binge time.

March 7 Burn off them Guinness calories.

March 17 Everything Ellen DeGeneres touches is gold. Everything.

BILLY JOEL AT THE DOME

CRUISIN' THE TROPICS WEEKEND

DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE'S KINTSUGI

March 20 Sing us a song, you're the piano man.

March 27–29 Nothing wrong with 29 wineries in three days.

March 31 Possess our musical hearts, they will.

BITCH o avoid t e k i l shit we

THE PIANO GUYS

MARCH MADNESS

THE DAY AFTER ST.

March 5 One piano man concert per month is enough, thank you.

Starting March 17 PATRICK'S DAY Nobody will be bleeding March 18 orange at this year's post- Not feelin' so lucky season tournament. now, are you?

INSURGENT

GLEE SERIES FINALE

GET HARD

March 20 Because three books somehow always equals four movies.

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March 20 Someone finally stopped believin'.

March 27 No one asked for this, Will Ferrell—and no, it isn't even porn.

BACKDROP Our library's best-kept secret.

MACHINERY HALL

The basement of a seemingly average campus building houses the technology that makes Syracuse University’s wifi hum.

By Ediva Zanker

Photography by Chaz Delgado

Old black and white photos line the inside of the halls, and the building hums with five large air conditioning units that keep the systems cool. In the mid-60s, Machinery Hall was converted from a casting metal machinery center to what it is known for today: Syracuse University’s data center.

Wedged between Lyman and Link halls, this building often goes unnoticed.

Most don’t realize that the data center helps students connect to AirOrangeX at the Dome and while studying abroad in Florence. It controls the 35,000 network connections on campus, and it connects any teacher when they pick up a phone in any classroom. “We provide a unique, robust network for the students,” says Doug Hague, the data center manager, who has worked at Machinery Hall for 27 years.

Some of the rooms in Machinery include the disaster recovery center, the fiber room, and the bunker. Each room provides a different way to back up and recover data.

The main room houses racks containing routers that spew out colored cords: blue, black, aqua, and yellow. With a single glance, Hague can tell where and what each router connects to.

Hague has seen some huge changes

over the years in the way the data center and the university itself works. He talks about the old data center, remembering a time when each dorm room had a telephone, which students used to call him when they had technical issues. It was also very common to have circuit sheet binders to document each circuit. When he first started, there was only one book. Now, a whole wall is lined with more than 50.

The data center runs more independently than it used to. Someone used to have to be on call 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Now, the technology monitors itself.

The power strips can detect high levels of humidity and power overuse. If these complications occur, Hague receives a text from the system.

The future of Machinery Hall remains uncertain as technology continues to develop.

If you enter any telecommunications or data room in a campus building, Hague will tell you that they continue to grow as the need for new systems increases. Systems are starting to offer options that make constant human presence unnecessary. “We are kind of in our own cloud,” Hague says as he inspects a fiber optic cable. “Machinery may not even be here down the road.” JM

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CLICKBATE What We're Getting Off To On The Web This Month

JERKMAGAZINE.NET We know you have it bookmarked, but just in case.

10 Things You'll See on Social Media at SU

Jerk on the Bus: Party Game Edition

One look out the window tells us how fucking cold it is outside, but at SU we still share screenshots of weather apps—just in case someone missed it. Jerk highlights the best and worst of ‘Cuse-centric posts, from the filtered photos of Crouse to the desperate calls for extra tickets to Juice Jam. Continue to fill our feeds with repetitive rants—then head to jerkmagazine.net for the recap.

We’re taking Jerk to the streets in a whole new way: on a bus. Our multimedia team trolled the South Campus bus on a weekend night to play Fuck, Marry, Kill, Would You Rather, that Heads Up game from Ellen, and more party games normally confined to your apartment. Looks like the singing and poetry-reciting bus driver finally has some competition on board.

WHILE YOU'RE CLICKING AROUND...

INVISIBLE BOYFRIEND

FIVERR

February and Valentine’s Day have come and gone, but an Invisible Boyfriend comes in hand any time of year. Sign up for a virtual man of your own making— you can pick his name, age, personality, and photo—and singledom will be a faint, lingering memory. Finally, there’s a guy who will always text you back. Who cares if he isn’t real, right?

That five dollars you just spent on your triple caramel macchiato 1 can go a lot farther than quenching your thirst. Fiverr, a global online marketplace, offers run of the mill services like resume editing and website-building. But if you’re looking for someone to rub chocolate on their belly while dancing, or spell out your name in alphabet soup, for five dollars, it’s all yours.

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TOTALLY UNSCIENTIFIC POLL

EXTRATERRESTRIAL ABDUCTION DAY If Canadian tuxedos and Nickelback weren’t bad enough, our friends to the North gave us another disgrace we didn’t ask for: Extraterrestrial Abduction Day. But with 8,479 UFO sightings reported to the National UFO Reporting Center in 2014, it’s possible some of us will actually celebrate abduction on March 20.

Jerk took to Bird to find out your thoughts on these lesser-seen beings.

WHICH ALIEN SUPERHERO WOULD YOU GET WITH? Clark Kent. (32%) WHAT’S THE CLOSEST YOU’VE GOTTEN TO HAVING SOMETHING EXTRATERRESTRIAL HAPPEN TO YOU? a. Your Saturday hangover was gone before Monday. (18%) b. Your GPA actually went up. (34%) c. A group of girls walked home quietly from a party once. (Later proven to be a hoax.) (16%) d. Your mom went more than three days without calling you. (32%)

WHICH TEAM FROM SPACE JAM IS ‘CUSE PLAYING LIKE THIS SEASON?

THE TUNE SQUAD:

struggling at first, but they’re gonna make a comeback. (54%) WHICH MOVIE ALIEN ARE YOU?

WHO’S THE HOTTEST ALIEN? a. Alf (18%) b. Lady Gaga (18%) c. You don’t know her name, but it’s totally that chick from Avatar. (54%) d. I know she isn’t actually an alien, but Sigourney Weaver both times.

(10%)

GOZER from Ghostbusters: You make men your slaves. (30%)

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SEX

SEX TOY

STORY Getting Handsy

Super Soaker

•

At my high school, there was a life-size bronze statue of our mascot, the Patriot, right next to the administrative offices. For our senior prank a few boys super-glued a big, veiny, black dildo to its crotch, and slathered it in lube.

When the dean of students saw it, he quickly grabbed the Patriot’s new appendage and attempted to jerk it off— videos of which later surfaced on Twitter.

My boyfriend and I were at his mom’s house. We went to "take a nap," but really we were messing around in his bed.

It wasn’t our first time using lube, but because it was dark, my boyfriend accidentally poured the whole travel-size container of organic lube onto me. It was like Niagara Falls.

Gag Me

My boyfriend of five years and I were trying to spice it up in the bedroom. We went to the adult store and bought a ball gag, which we obviously tested out right when we got home. Things were going well initially, but after about 20 minutes, gag in mouth, I started having an asthma attack. We had to call it quits while I sucked on my inhaler.

Bag of Tricks

In fifth grade, my two friends and I were being nosy and going through my mom’s closet when we found a black bag. Inside, we found condoms, a dildo, and a bunch of sex photos of my mom and her boyfriend. We didn’t know what any of it was so we blew up the condoms like balloons. We threw them around the house and used her dildo as a vibrating back massager. She came home and was mortified.

Good Vibrations

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We may be well past our jungle gym days, but apparently we still know how to play.

JERK

For my 18th birthday, a couple of my good friends bequeathed to me a shower chair. What was supposed to be a gag gift, inspired by some passing jokes I made about sitting down in the shower, became my saving grace. That same birthday I received what every 18-yearold gay bottom wants: a vibrating dildo crafted especially for the bum. These gifts changed my world forever.

FRAMED

ART IMAGE

We Are One Being Nate McClennen senior, illustration "I am an artist and illustrator who loves exploring creative concepts, both spiritual and mundane. I care deeply for the environment and for all sentient beings. My goal is to produce work that captures the humor of our outlandish society and the ultimate mystery of existence. My ultimate aim is to elevate and empower consciousness past the shallowness offered by contemporary popular culture."

To showcase your work on "Framed," email art@jerkmagazine.net.

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BITCH

HACK ATTACK

By Katie Drozynski

us

a

has

lot

trouble

terrible

of

lately.

hactivism harness

caused

could

its power.

Illustration by Frances Matos

From behind the soft blue lambency of a computer screen, hunched over, rapidly firing at keyboards comes a rising force for good—or evil. Since the 1990s, hackers have been infiltrating the systems of private and government bodies to stall service, wreak havoc, or leak information to achieve political or personal goals. But there is a new breed of nerd: hacktivists. The term, coined in ’96, is used to describe hackers who work toward social justice, or at least, their vision of social justice. Hackers aren’t just annoyances anymore: basement-bound, Gamergate sympathizers threatening to leak Taylor Swifts nudes, thorns in Internet user’s

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hacking

sides—they're affecting real change.

Hacktivism is often politically motivated, though not always for the purpose of maintaining open lines of communication.

Anonymous, an international network of hacktivist groups and perhaps the most well-known of their kind, is responsible for several strikes since the creation of the network on 4chan, an image sharing website, in 2003. Anonymous’s hacks and raids started small, with pranks on social media websites flooding them with images of identical avatars and silly signature messages. The hacks soon took on more political significance, targeting governments

BITCH from the United States and Australia in 2012, as well as the websites of the Church of Scientology in 2008.

Even technology behemoths Google and Twitter have gotten involved. During the Egyptian revolution, the two companies and a voice messaging startup called Say Now assumed the roles of hacktivists to create a means of distributing anonymous information regarding the protests in Cairo.

When the Egyptian government shut down the country’s Internet service in January 2011, the tech giants realized the serious need for a reliable and safe method for circulating news.

The companies combined forces to work around the Internet ban and created the Twitter account @speaktotweet.

Those witnessing the protests could call a

"hacking

is and

just people or

a

member of Anonymous on a terrorism watch list, according to The Guardian. Jeremy Hammond, who participated in a hacking event that leaked more than five million emails from a private intelligence firm, has allegedly been placed on a central terrorism watch list. This has raised questions about the role of hacktivism as a crime versus a means of raising awareness.

Media responses to the Sony hack, allegedly perpetrated by North Korea to prevent the release of the James Franco/ Seth Rogen love child The Interview, drew criticism from all sides. People said, “We can’t let North Korea dictate our content!”

But, when Anonymous hacked the website and Twitter accounts of the Ku Klux Klan, releasing personal data of KKK members along with it, it was great. This double

pawn can

learn

number arranged by Say Now and leave a voice message. That voice message would be automatically and anonymously converted into a tweet with “#Egypt”, thus protecting the source of the information and circumventing the Internet embargo. Tweets could be accessed via Twitter or by dialing the Say Now phone numbers assigned to the task.

Of course, this comes in line with the more ethically questionable acts of the hacktivist network, like attacking U.S. copyright organizations in 2012 in response to the government shutdown of the file sharing site Megaupload, or the massive cyberassault of Israeli websites in response to a military operation in the Gaza Strip led by the Israeli Defense Forces in 2012.

Hacktivist activity has even landed one

in

a

either to

larger

game,

lose,

play."

standard is what the hacking debate centers around. Can a person defend freedom by attacking it? With the conflicting ideologies of different groups, it will become too difficult to tease out morality of shutting down one’s freedom over another’s. How will we tell what is illegal from legal? What should be punished, and what should be applauded?

Television writer and producer Shonda Rhimes once tweeted, “U can put a cherry on a pile of sh*t but it don’t make it a sundae.” We need to stop glorifying the idea of hacktivism, but we also need to stop antagonizing it. The only way we can harness its power is by thoroughly monitoring it, discerning its motives and its outcomes, and by accepting a grim truth: Hacking is just a pawn in a larger game, and people can either lose, or learn to play. JM JERK

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BITCH

TRIAL

TRIBULATIONS New university policies on sexual assault cases ignore the civil rights of accused students.

By Marley Walker

Illustration by Will Smith

In February, the Columbia Daily Spectator released an article apologizing for its coverage of Emma Sulkowicz, the Columbia University student who was allegedly raped by another Columbia student, Paul Nungesser. Sulkowicz’s story gained national attention after she vowed to carry a mattress every day until the university expelled her alleged rapist or until she graduated—whichever happened first.

Nungesser was found not guilty in university court, but was found guilty in the court of public opinion because the undergraduate media at that school wasn't, as the Spectator put it, “impartial and thorough.” Daniel Garisto, who authored the apology, wrote, “Personally, I felt that if I covered the existence of a different perspective—say, that due process should be respected—not only would I have been excoriated, but many would have said that I was harming survivors and the fight against sexual assault.” A response similar to that might also happen with this article.

For far too long, men on college campuses barely got a slap on the wrist for allegations of rape. The women brave enough to step forward were doubted

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and disregarded. Sexual assault has always been one of the biggest issues on college campuses, and—until now—it’s also been the best hidden. One of the biggest responsibilities that colleges have is to prevent cases such as Sulkowicz’s from happening and to handle them with sensitivity when they do.

The policies put in place by universities under Title IX, a federal law that protects women’s rights, among other things, are made to protect the accuser, but too often abrogate the civil rights of the accused.

In the last several years, an increasing number of those found responsible by their universities for sexual violence have filed lawsuits against them, claiming that their due process rights were violated, and that cases were mounted against them based on their gender—also a violation of Title IX. Universities across the country have implemented a range of policies that essentially leave accused students defenseless. Some schools refuse to offer a hearing of the accused, which means that person has no opportunity to mount a defense. Other schools prohibit lawyers at hearings, if a hearing is held at all. Some

BITCH

SOME SCHOOLS REFUSE TO OFFER A HEARING OF THE ACCUSED, WHICH MEANS THAT PERSON HAS NO OPPORTUNITY TO MOUNT A DEFENSE. allow lawyers to be present if a hearing is held, but ban them from speaking, instead only permitting note passing between them and their client. Other restrictions include no cross-examination, meant to protect the accuser and no questioning of witnesses, especially if there are no hearings.

Moreover, in a civil court or school setting, students are held at preponderance of evidence or reckless disregard, meaning just 51 percent of the jury needs to find it certain that the events occurred in order to find the accused guilty. Burden of proof, or a unanimous vote by a jury to find the accused guilty beyond a reasonable doubt, does not apply here. Increasingly, universities have created policies that will kick the accused out of school without so much more than a statement from both parties. At its very

worst, there is an investigation, but no trial.

Anyone who experiences sexual violence has the right to a thorough and fair investigation. And we know that false accounts of sexual assault account for only a minuscule percent of rape accusations.

Yet, any American who has charges brought against them is also warranted to a thorough and fair trial. Assertions of injustice by the accused infuriate some, but it seems as though the policies many universities have put in place under Title IX and in response to the sexual violence epidemic are cutting corners on due process.

Kicking the rapist motherfuckers out who perpetrate this kind of violence should be the number one goal of universities when it comes to this issue—but so should making sure they’re guilty. JM

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BITCH

BUTT

OUT

SU’s impending tobacco ban is a total drag.

By Meredith Jeffers

Illustration by Frances Matos

Get your nicotine fix while you can: Syracuse University is going tobacco-free. As part of the University Wellness Initiative, this new policy forbids the use of all tobacco products on any university-controlled property— indoors or out. That means no more sneaking away for cigarette breaks between classes, vaping on the South Campus bus, or taking hits from a hookah with that weird kid in your residence hall—unless you figure out how to be more discrete about it.

The policy officially goes into effect July 1, 2015, more than a decade after SU first began the discussion on banning tobacco use on campus. A 2010 campus wellness survey of students, faculty, and staff revealed support for a revision of campus tobacco policies, with 58 percent of students and 71 percent of faculty and staff onboard with the changes. Influential groups like Student Association, the Graduate Student Association, and the Office of Residence Life all support this move.

It’s hard to imagine that simply banning tobacco on campus will inspire students and faculty to stop smoking, when the more realistic scenario is that they will head to the outskirts of campus or disregard the policy altogether. This wouldn’t be too difficult either, considering that there are no real consequences for anyone caught smoking once the policy goes into effect. Enforcement of the policy relies on a peer-based method, which essentially means that if you spot 20 3.15• JERK

someone smoking somewhere on campus, you call them out on it. “Individuals are encouraged and empowered to inform others respectfully about the policy in an ongoing effort to support others to be tobacco free, promote a smoke-free and tobacco-free environment, and encourage a culture of compliance,” says Gail Grozalis, SU’s executive director of wellness.

In theory, this culture shift makes sense.

If the aim of the policy is to create a clean, healthy environment that motivates smokers to quit, then the lack of outright punishment makes the campus less antagonistic.

But it also puts students, faculty, and staff in the exceptionally awkward position of confronting strangers about their smoking habits. At a school as divided as Syracuse, where students won’t even sit on the same couch as someone else in Panasci Lounge, the image of someone going up to a smoker and saying, “Hey, smoking kills you know, and it's also banned on campus,” is almost unbelievable. They’ll just continue to be passive aggressive shits about it.

Besides, it isn’t like smokers don’t know about these dangers. Smoking is, above all, a personal choice, and this choice will only change if someone is willing to quit.

But until someone comes to that decision on their own, nothing—not even a policy change—will stop them from rolling their eyes, blowing out a smoke ring, and saying, “Butt out.” JM

BITCH

Policies that enforce stereotypes shouldn’t just be loosened.

They should be outdated.

By Kerry Wolfe Abstinence is the best policy—if you’re a gay man who wants to donate blood, that is.

The Food and Drug Administration plans to change its previous rule preventing men who have sex with men—MSM, as the public health world labels them—from donating blood. Now, instead of a lifetime ban, those donors only have to endure a year of celibacy before they can donate.

The FDA’s outdated policies toward MSM donors are not only founded in bogus science, they're also extremely harmful. Singling out a part of the population based on who they have sex with—and this should go without saying—is discriminatory. Despite this, the administration claims its decision “is not based on any judgment concerned on the donor’s sexual orientation.” Bullshit.

The policy change is an agonizingly diplomatic attempt to balance homophobic hysteria and actual facts. No research supports the one-year abstinence mandate.

Kimberly Miller, a policy officer at the HIV Medicine Association, says a six-month deferment would be plenty.

“There are serious inconsistencies around what windows they’re putting on different behaviors that don’t really comport with what we know about the transfusion risk,” she says.

Instead of lumping MSM donors into the lifelong ban along with injection drug users and people who lived in England during the Mad Cow Disease outbreak, the proposed change puts them under the same restraint as women who have sex with an HIV-positive man. But still, it only takes a quick tick in the wrong box on the donor questionnaire to disqualify a portion of the population from

making a deposit at the blood banks.

Focusing on sexual orientation rather than risk behavior is a massive clot in the current system. It is true that HIV runs most prevalent in the MSM community— data presented by the 2014 FDA Advisory Committee on Blood Tissue Safety and Availability show 64 percent of HIV infections occur during male-to-male sexual encounters. Young, black MSM donors retain the highest HIV risk, as the virus tends to track with poverty and social alienation.

However, slapping the same blood donation restrictions on a monogamous, HIV-negative MSM couple as on a high-risk, health-illiterate wild child makes no sense. It only serves to feed the flames of health care inequity toward non-heterosexuals.

To better protect the blood supply, the FDA should place an emphasis on other transmittable diseases. HIV isn’t the only problematic pathogen lurking. Only 18 percent of HIV-positive patients are unaware of their condition, but 70 percent of people with hepatitis C remain undiagnosed.

Using a screening questionnaire with more comprehensive questions geared toward all genders and sexual orientations would better protect against tainted blood, give a more detailed risk assessment, and decrease inconsistencies in donor policies.

It’s delusional to think the proposed change will bring in a flood of fresh blood to donation centers; Miller doesn’t foresee any rise in donations as a result of the switch.

An abstinent few may trickle in, but in the end, the only thing the year-long mandate achieves is keeping life-saving blood out of the bodies of people who need it. JM JERK

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That’s a Wrap

Construction workers wear hard hats, professional chefs wear paper hats, and now the adult film industry needs to embrace some hats of their own.

By AbbyLeigh Charbonneau

Illustration by Rob Byers

When you think of porn, a lot of things may come to mind: steamy shower scenes, lonely housewives, and well-endowed deliverymen.

One thing that most likely does not top the list: contraceptives. That may be changing in Los Angeles County, the center of the adult entertainment industry, with the passage of a new law that mandates more restrictive safety measures on set. Known as Measure B—or the County of Los Angeles Safer Sex in the Adult Film Industry Act—the law tightens safety regulations on porn sets, including the mandated use of condoms.

While supporters of Measure B say that the law protects workers in the adult film industry and acts as a preventative measure toward sexually transmitted infections, its opponents—mostly adult entertainment companies—are worried their bank accounts will be screwed harder than their best model.

Now the studios and their actors claim that the law violates the First Amendment,

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resulting in many companies pulling out, so to speak. Referred to as LA’s Great Porn Exodus, adult entertainment industries are filming in other states that don’t have the same safety regulations. Between 2011 and 2013, the number of adult film permits issued in LA County dropped from 5,000 to a mere 40, according to the Los Angeles Times.

Basically, porn studios are the equivalent of that guy who tries to tell you that using a condom just doesn’t feel as good and says things like, “Just the tip?”

Before Measure B, adult film workers were required to get tested for STIs every two to four weeks. Backers of Measure B, like the president of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation Michael Weinstein, argue that this doesn’t protect the actors from contracting STIs in the first place, as is the case with the two now HIV-positive porn actors who helped to push the law through. And as far as the argument that the law violates the First Amendment by

BITCH restricting expression in adult films, it’s pretty clear that adult entertainment companies’ sudden interest in constitutional rights comes from a concern about healthy profits, not healthy employees.

Recently this flaccid argument was disqualified by Circuit Judge Susan Graber of the 9th Circuit Court of Los Angeles County, who said that “the condom mandate has a de minimus effect upon expression” and “is narrowly tailored to achieve the substantial government interest of reducing the rate of sexually transmitted infections.”

In the landmark 1968 court case United States v. O’Brien, the Supreme Court established the O’Brien Test to draw guidelines on where government interference ends and freedom of expression begins. If the content in question is of “government interest unrelated to the suppression of free speech” and is neutral toward the content of that free speech, then it does not constitute a First Amendment violation. In other words, having or not having a condom on doesn’t impact the actual content of the porn and therefore, it doesn’t qualify as a violation of free speech.

It’s in everyone’s best interest to keep porn actors from spreading more than their legs. While condoms might not be the most erotically appealing image, they're infinitely more attractive than the idea of contracting HIV and they would make porn a more accurate representation of the safety precautions that should be standard in real life.

Whether or not porn has a direct impact upon our sexpectations is still up for debate.

Still, some people claim that the often violent, misogynistic themes of porn lead to a desensitization that translates over into real life, and that the unrealistic content— including the absence of protection—can lead to unrealistic expectations that have

very real consequences.

While some medical resources and child psychologists say that the bombardment of sexualized images inevitably leads to these unhealthy and impractical misconceptions about sex, others, like James Deen, say that the impact of porn is almost impossible to know for sure. Deen, an 11-year veteran of the sex industry and the 2009 Male Performer of the Year, believes that the purpose of porn is to depict fantasy—and nothing kills fantasy like the jolting reminder that sex can result in life-altering conditions such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, HIV, AIDS, and pregnancy. And in Deen’s opinion, people just don’t want to see porn with condoms—and history has shown that it just does not sell.

However, whether you see porn as a healthy outlet for sexual expression or as a vile satan-sponsored vice, it’s hard to argue that this mandate violates the First Amendment. Just as other industries have safety practices in place, so should the adult entertainment industry, even if that means lower profits. As they say in the film industry, that’s a wrap. JM

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Higher Calling As believers of the persecuted Bahá'í faith, SU student Amir Shams's parents fled Iran years before he was born. Now, Amir uses his lens to search for identity and to understand his roots.

By Gabriela Riccardi

Photography by Spencer Bodian

Amir Shams strolls the Syracuse campus with a wide, white smile. He moves in camel sweaters and chunky knits, in slim-cut jeans and sleek sweatpants, horn-rimmed glasses hanging off his neck and geometric socks peeking from his leathery high tops. He sets a thick, carved ring on his right hand, an inky black watch wrapped around his left. His style is effortless, but his warmth comes even more easily. He hugs everyone he meets.

When Amir begins to talk about his journey as a film student, it’s clear where he’s collected his cosmopolitan ease. He speaks of heading to architecture school at home in Brazil, where he spent two years in a new, prestigious university. Of his time trekking and taking a break from those studies by volunteering at the Bahá'í World Centre, a year-long stop where he worked and met other Bahá'ís in northern Israel. Of pushing to expedite his passions, of pursuing an education in film originally planned for after becoming an architect, of choosing to move to Syracuse.

Of traveling for a semester in Prague and enrolling in one of the oldest film academies in Europe. Of returning to Syracuse this year for his last semesters, working on his final film project about being a Bahá'í.

SMUT In his film, Amir appears in his Syracuse apartment, lanky legs closed at the knees and pointing toward the camera. The frame shakes steady as it hovers in focus on the wide white smile, the horn-rimmed glasses.

“Are you recording?” he asks, eyes floating above the screen’s sightline. His dark eyebrows pull up just slightly, dragging slender lines almost imperceptibly across his high forehead. At what must be a nod behind the lens, he turns to the cell phone in his hand and begins to dial.

He’s phoning home to Brazil. In a moment, his father will pick up with a gritty click, his voice traveling through airwaves and across continents to greet his son.

Amir is about to ask for permission to tell a story, his father’s story, in the documentary to which these will become the opening frames.

It’s the story from which his life stemmed, the story that determined the paths of both Amir and his father. It’s the story of his father’s journey to freedom.

There are just about five million Bahá'ís in the world, according to the Bahá'í World News Service. The religion began in the mid-19th century in what was then Persia, now Iran. After experiencing revelations, a messenger known as the Báb called for Bahá'í.

Growing out of Shi'ite Islam, it was later officially founded by the prophet Bahá'u'lláh, who emphasized global unity and peace.

But the religion’s pronounced parting from Islam became a hotbed of persecution for the Iranian Bahá'ís, especially as their nation turned over to Islamic rule in 1979.

“The Bahá'ís have had a troublesome history where their religion originated because they were a passionate departure from Islamic Orthodoxy, and therefore were subjected to a great deal of persecution,” says Prof. Mehrzad Boroujerdi, chair of the political science department at Syracuse University and former president of the

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International Society for Iranian Studies.

Today in an Islamic state, it is essentially illegal to adhere to the Bahá'í faith. Bahá'ís are excluded from higher education, denied jobs, and deprived of the freedom to leave the country. They’ve endured monitoring and arrests, destruction of their holy sites, and violence targeted toward their people.

So many have fanned out among the world, coming together in close communities.

According to the Bahá'í World Centre, the Bahá'ís are scattered through more than 100,000 localities. Though their numbers are relatively small, the Bahá'ís have cultured a vast geographic reach, becoming the second most widespread independent religion.

For years, an old Super 8 camera sat on Amir’s father’s shelf. To Amir it was some outdated relic, one easily lost in an assembly of collected kitsch. He had never given it much attention.

That was, until the day his father took the camera down from the shelf and handed it to Amir. It had become time to tell the story of its journey.

This camera, he said, traveled from Iran.

He had bought it while living there, his home, along with five rolls of film, and kept it for several years.

“He ended up using the film to shoot a cousin’s wedding,” Amir says. “But he had planned to use it to document his escape.”

It was May of 1986 when his father fled. He would not trade away his faith for safety. He had to leave Iran. Traversing the country in a week by foot, car, and camel, he crossed the border into Pakistan and eventually attained refugee status in front of the United Nations.

And now that he had stepped across the other side of lines both real and imagined—of his nation, his journey, and his grappling with his own history—he wanted to return what he could to the community that compelled his steps, the Bahá'ís.

SMUT

Amir holds up his father's Super 8mm film camera, which plays a role in the documentary Amir is working on.

Amir makes the good condition of the Super 8mm camera visible by placing the lens in the light.

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SMUT Though he had family established in Australia and had fallen in love with Amir’s mother, who also had covertly left Iran for Pakistan, he felt called to strike out on his own, to venture where he could begin in a new community where he could do good.

With that, he chose his path and picked up his feet. To Brazil he went, turning back only once six months later to marry his wife and bring her to South America.

With each new film he’s created for class over the years here, Amir says he has gotten positive feedback from professors. But many of them told Amir the same thing, time and time again: they needed to see more of him in the film. Where was his story? Where was his journey?

The original plan for his final film thesis, then, was to create a documentary contrasting himself with his cousin, the only direct relative Amir still has in Iran. Recently, his cousin was admitted to the most prestigious school in Iran, the University of Tehran. But after discovering that he was a Bahá'í, its administration ejected him from the school—effectively ending his quest

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for an education. Now, Amir’s cousin is attending a clandestine school run by Bahá'ís.

“I was thinking about this contrast between me and my cousin,” Amir says. One journey, his father’s journey out of Iran, set him on a new path. Without that journey, Amir, too, might have been in Iran facing the challenges of pursuing an education. Without it, he might not have been free.

The golden frame floats from Amir’s face to his phone as he talks to his father about his final film thesis.

“You know the Super 8 you gave me when I was a kid is here with me in the States, right?” he breaks in Portuguese.

“You’ve always told us that there’s a wisdom behind these things, a reason for why those things happen,” he says, an edgy laugh hopping between words.

“I had an idea that will sound absurd, Dad, just absurd, but I feel that I have the reason for why that happened.”

Okay, his father permits.

Amir was up all night before his proposal was due. His film about his cousin, he’d decided, would not work. He just didn’t

"The Bhagavad Gita," a 700-verse Hindu scripture sits among the Bible, Quran, and many other religious texts, The Bahá'í religion acknowledges many different religious teachings and profits, and places a great importance on uity as a value.

SMUT feel safe about it. Amidst the hours and the shifting clock, the debates and the vacillations, Amir realized that he might not want to tell a story of the present. Perhaps, instead, he wanted to tell the story that reached behind the present. He wouldn’t just explore the path he was currently walking. He wanted to tell the story that paved it.

And so he turned to the root of his origins:

"TRUTHFULNESS IS THE FOUNDATION OF ALL HUMAN VIRTUES." - Amir Sham his faith, the impetus for his family’s flee from Iran, around the world, and back again.

It’s the faith that gave him freedom, the capability of forging his life anywhere on the globe that once presented his father with new life. It’s the faith that compelled his path, the path that his father took when he was Amir’s age—his journey out of Iran—plus the ripple it’s pushed through time to shape Amir’s life.

Just as he could plan his words in his phone call to his father, the words in those golden frames, Amir could script part of his story.

But the rest must unravel in its own course.

Amir doesn’t know how the film ends yet.

With each captured scene, the path of his documentary changes. At first, he hoped for a journey with his father, a return to Iran. Then, he aimed for a safer substitute in another faroff place—in South Africa, where his sister would wed. But as the ceremony arrived and he drove through the landscape with his father, he realized its inauthenticity.

And in the scenes, too, he realizes that the authenticity of his life flexes and curls. His scripted scenes and their spontaneous shifts, his actual and imagined interactions, his clear-cut vision, and temperamental reality make for a tenuous exploration of history.

Even his relationship with his father ebbs and flows between truth and fiction. There’s one eight-minute scene, he says, that has become operative to showcasing the real and the unreal.

“While we were driving around South Africa,” he says, “my father didn’t know I was filming.”

They were searching the landscape, scoping for a glimmer of Iran. Maybe they’d find it in the curve of the horizon or the shade of the sky, the hiss of the wind or the spread of the soil. As they drove, his father began to remark on how this landscape looked nothing like his homeland. But as the conversation drew out, he started to realize the camera was rolling. His words began to change.

“I could hear him shift,” Amir says, a shift from his real father to the father of the documentary. He can’t describe it, but he senses it in himself, too. The Amir that exists onscreen seems to be a different shade of the true Amir. As he searches through his past, he searches through his selves.

With each new frame, the film takes a route he hasn’t expected—not just in plot, but in character, reach, and perception. Its trajectory mirrors the ever-shifting nature of his art, the fluctuating directions of his future.

“Truthfulness is the foundation of all human virtues,” Amir says. It’s the underlying doctrine of the Bahá'í faith, the pursuit of truth. Amir says Bahá'í is a religion of action— one not just of being, but also of doing. His film one of many things he does. But he sees it as a chase of his truth: the beginnings of his family and of himself, the journeys that snagged and snaked into his life.

As Amir unspools his project, coiling together reality and art, faith and family, the history of him and his father, he looks for meaning in his future. He stands at the edge of a path, where this project has taken his feet.

Where he places them next is up to him. JM

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* Name is changed to protect source's identity.

Given the city’s financial standing, this tax money could be redirected to help combat large-scale poverty. On any given night, about 550 people sleep in shelters. An empty space like the aforementioned development could be used as a shelter to help the homeless population of Syracuse.

Mason’s own battle with homelessness began in the winter of 2010 while crossing an icy street. He slipped. The fall left him with a shattered right ankle and a fractured left ankle. Due to the severity of the injury, the medical team stabilized his right ankle with a permanent six-inch plate and eight

screws for internal fixation. Shortly after the emergency surgery, the medical bills piled up. Mason, who previously taught at Cornell University, was unemployed at the time. Without healthcare, the accrued costs of the hospital stay and physical therapy quickly overwhelmed him. His thin financial situation fractured as well, and soon Mason found himself falling toward the streets.

Mason constantly strives to pull himself back onto his feet. However, the plate, coupled with frostbite caused by long hours spent in the cold, forces Mason to walk with a noticeable limp. It hurts to stand and JERK

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SMUT he cannot retain a job in manual labor. For this reason, following the accident, Mason launched his own writing business, which he operates mostly off his iPhone. While some people might scold Mason for being homeless but owning an expensive phone, his recent purchase helps him expand his business. It even keeps him safe.

One day earlier, a man with a tan jacket, cameo pants, and two teardrop tattoos harassed him. A Google search on his iPhone revealed that the man’s tattoos may signify the number of people he has murdered. The man returned again on this day. As the sky continued to darken, Mason took no chances interacting with him. Even walking can take Mason hours due to his limp, and he wants to find a safe place to stay for the night.

While some turn to shelters, Mason attempts to avoid them at all cost. He believes they're rampant with substance abuse. On a given night in January 2010, 34.7 percent of sheltered adults suffered from chronic substance abuse issues, according to a fact sheet released by the Substance and Mental Health Services Administration. Considering the statistics and homeless-on-homeless crime, Mason doubts he’d last the night. So when night falls, Mason and many others like him look for whatever shelter they can find.

Yet according to the 2013 Annual Homeless Assessment Report to Congress, Syracuse boasts the second-lowest population of unsheltered homeless people in the nation at 0.7 percent. This number stands in agreement with the findings of the Homeless and Housing Coalition of Syracuse and Onondaga County, which found that only seven people reported sleeping outside.

Mason challenges this data, asserting that the pre-drawn conclusions come from poor data gathering techniques. He estimates that at a cold and bare minimum, at least 20 percent of Syracuse’s homeless

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population, credited at 2,947 individuals, in emergency shelters, faces the bitter winter conditions “outside.” His characterization of “outside” extends toward people living in cars, abandoned homes and buildings, and entire homeless tent cities. By the summer, he believes there will be three or four of these encampments in Thornden Park that often go unnoticed by passers-by. Even if these locations are not exposed to the elements and not classified as “outside” in official reports, the numbers hide a larger issue.

Mason considers the whole treatment of homelessness just another cycle, feeding on itself rather than providing a real chance of escape.

Anecdotal evidence seems to back Mason’s assessment. In July, Syracuse police cleared a homeless encampment that provided a home to about 50 individuals.

During the process, the task force issued about seven tickets for trespassing. A month later John Kuppermann, the owner of Smith Restaurant Supply, issued a complaint to the city about the homeless population located under the nearby Interstate 81 overpass.

In Rochester, one such tent encampment offered shelter and a sense of community to an estimated 30 to 35 homeless people.

That is, before the city-ordered “cleanup.”

This effort was ordered following a fire that burned down one of the tents. While many of the residents of the encampment were away— Mason mentions that inhabitants of the area were offered a free meal and a medical exam, so that they wouldn’t be present during the “cleanup”—the city reportedly rolled a Bobcat front-end loader into the area, bulldozing the tent city in a move described by priest and South African native Deborah Duguid-May

SMUT as “a flashback to Apartheid South Africa,” as told to Democrat and Chronicle reporter Jeff Spevak.

Residents returned to the camp later that day to find all of their belongings gone.

Some of the individuals even reported losing all forms of identification, including birth certificates, drivers licenses, and Social Security cards. The city justified the destruction of the encampment, which featured an on-site portable toilet and regular visits from a healthcare van, by issuing a photo of a pile of needles, presumably used for drugs such as heroin.

Despite the latest loss of space for the homeless, local community members stepped in to help provide for those in need, bringing food for the few who remained behind. In a similar feel-good story out of Rochester, development and property management firm Buckingham Properties turned one of its unoccupied heated warehouses into a makeshift shelter. In conjunction with volunteers from House of Mercy, a grassroots homeless shelter and advocacy center and the firm's own 24/7 staff, it provided homeless individuals with a place to rest, a hot meal, and even a television set to watch. It operates under a simple rule: avoid fighting, drugs, and weapons.

For all those who live peacefully, violence lurks around the corner. Take for instance the case of 42-year-old Michelle Noce. Noce, who lived under a bridge a block west of Herald Place and Franklin Street, frequently received beatings from other homeless men vying for her territory or in some cases, her. On Sept. 22, 2012, an unidentified male friend found her unconscious with notable head injuries at her “home.” She was taken to Upstate University Hospital, where she was declared dead later that night. It wasn’t until June 5, 2014 that 26-year-old Chad Balitz was charged with third-degree assault in relation

to Noce’s death. But Balitz, who pleaded guilty to the assault misdemeanor, was found by a grand jury unresponsible for her death. Instead, Balitz only faces up to a year in jail for his crime.

Balitz had previously been charged with arson and burglary in a 2008 case in Solvay.

Mason doesn’t believe in coincidence, instead preferring to trust in the recurring nature of things. People like Balitz cause Mason to avoid friendships with the homeless. Mason is nervous that these people will be repeat offenders. It’s all cyclical, just like the pattern of homelessness itself. Programs like the Women, Infant, and Children Program (WIC), a food and nutritional assistance program, and Joseph’s House, which provides pregnant women with a place to live for two years, offer homeless mothers assistance.

Other programs give support to homeless drug addicts who want to come clean. Yet there’s always the chance a teenage mom will become pregnant again, and a drug user can relapse. For this reason, Mason considers the whole treatment of homelessness just another cycle, feeding on itself rather than providing a real chance of escape.

Mason doesn’t rest on the issue for long.

Like life, nature won’t wait. Tonight, with the wind chill factor, the temperature hovers around five below zero. Mason huddles into an alcove of a dorm building, where heat pours from a nearby vent. The area is removed from the door, so he believes he poses no threat to students. Most pass without noticing him. But campus security officers, who gave him a warning the previous night, find him in his place. The security team arrests him on charges of criminal trespass. He is given an appearance ticket and released. In a few days, he will have a court date, where he’ll face, according to his research, a maximum fine of $250. For now, he’ll find another spot to battle the Syracuse winter. JM

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A BREWERY'S TALE A local brewery supplies Syracuse with medieval spirits.

By Sarah Peck

Photography by Sam Maller

After a large corporation bought out the Rubenstein’s scrap metal company, Marc knew he wanted to start a new family business. When he traveled out west from Syracuse and discovered the national trend of craft breweries, Marc and his wife found their inspiration. As home brewers, the couple thought a craft brewery would succeed in Syracuse. Marc trained at Shipyard Brewing Company, and then, the Rubenstein’s own business was born in 1994.

For a while, the Rubensteins grappled with naming the company. But the answer seemed clear and obvious when Marc received a birthday card reading, “Welcome to the Middle Ages.” Now the words “Middle Ages Brewing Company” sit underneath a royal crown on the company logo.

Located at 120 Wilkinson St., Middle Ages has a very particular brewing system. The Rubensteins use one strain of yeast and malt delivered from England. They craft the beer in open fermenters, which allows for healthier yeast and makes it easier to regulate the temperature, which remains at 68 degrees.

Creativity is key when it comes to creating new drafts. New types are brewed at least once a year, along with other festive beers such as the Apocalypse Ale, which was created for the infamous Mayan Apocalypse of 2012.

“Kind of like being a chef, there is no exact way to do it. It’s really about us knowing our own system and how it works,” Isaac

Rubenstein, the company's vice president, says. Isaac began working part-time at his family’s brewery in high school. After graduating college, he began working there full-time and now is a part-owner of the company at age 25.

Middle Ages’s Syracuse Pale Ale appeals to a lot of the booze-loving population. It is both accessible and flavorful, attracting not only the seasoned drinkers, but also those just getting into craft beer, Isaac says. Isaac’s personal favorite is Late Knight IPA. It is the newest kind and cannot yet be found in stores.

Their strongest type, the Double Wench, packs 12 percent alcohol.

Middle Ages Brewing Company is considered a microbrewery, meaning it produces less than 15 thousand barrels per year. But the Rubensteins hope to reach the next level so their company becomes recognized as a regional brewery.

The brewery is also in the process of expanding. The Rubensteins are planning construction in another part of the building for a much bigger tap room within the next year, and just last August, Syracuse Hancock International Airport licensed the name from them to open a pub inside the airport. The pub opened in October.

“One thing I always enjoy is seeing people enjoying your product,” Isaac says. “If you can afford any craft beer, you can afford our beer. Obviously we’re not targeting the Keystone Light drinkers.” JM JERK

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1 1. Isaac Rubenstein watches over a brew of Middle Ages's most successful and popular beer— the Syracuse Pale Ale. 2. A detail of a foam formation found in a brew of Middle Ages's ImPaled Ale. 3. Jesse, a brewer, tends to the openly fermenting ImPaled Ale. 4. Jesse checks the pH levels and qualities of a beer.

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5. The tasting room offers a variety of brews and memorabilia for visitors to taste and purchase.

6. Beer rises up a tube to show the level of beer.

7. Isaac Rubenstein, vice president of Middle Ages Brewing Company, poses for a portrait in a back store room.

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GAWK

Bring on the glitz this season with gem-infused pieces in dazzling shades of amethyst and deep hues of sapphire and emerald.

Stylists: Annika Downs, Chazz Inniss Photographer: Allen Chiu Makeup Artists: Nayeli Jimenez Models: Noah McFarlane, Natalia Forsey, Christy Soeder

For a behind–the–scenes look, check out our video at jerkmagazine.net.

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GAWK

NOAH Shirt: ASOS $29.

NATALIA Crop Top: ASOS $17; Pants: Zara $60.

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GAWK

CHRISTY Crop Top: Missguided $16; Collar: Nasty Gal $39.

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GAWK

NOAH Jacket: Grateful Thread, ASOS $152; Shirt: Buy Me Brunch $28.

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NATALIA Dress: ASOS $143; Shoes: Newlook, ASOS $57.

NOAH Jacket: Grateful Thread, ASOS $152.

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GAWK CHRISTY Jumpsuit: Motel, ASOS $55.

GAWK NATALIA Jacket: ASOS $71; Skirt: ASOS $29.

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GAWK

CHRISTY T-Shirt: Nasty Gal $34; Skirt: TFNC, ASOS $75.

NOAH T-Shirt: Mowgli, Urban Outfitters $34.

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STRIPPED

CUFFED f r o m l e at h e r b r a c e l e t s t o h e av y m e ta l s , u s e

t h e s e p i e c e s t o m a k e a s tat e m e n t t h i s s e a s o n .

Bottom: H&M, $9.95 Top: Miansai, $85

Bottom: H&M, $5.95 Middle: Kate Spade, $48 Top: St. Xavier, $45

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01

STRIPPED

braided bracelet

How to wear it: Tone it down to show it off.

Brands that do it best: Giles & Brother, Miansai, and David Yurman

What it says about you: “My style is refined with a hand-woven twist.”

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l e at h e r w r a p bracelet

How to wear it: Channeling your inner Paul Newman in a denim shirt with your sleeves rolled up.

Brands that do it best: Miansai, Salvatore Ferragamo, and Les Essentiels de la Vie

What it says about you: “I don’t get wrapped up in trends, I make your own.”

03

How to wear it: Double it up; wear it on both arms to give off major Wonder Woman vibes.

Brands that do it best: From St. Xavier, Jill Golden, and Pamela Love

What it says about you: “Wonder Woman by day, Glamazon by night.”

gilded cuff

04

enamel cuff

Brands that do it best: Kate Spade, Hermés, and Kenneth Jay Lane

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How to wear it: Keep it basic, bitch, and let your arm do all the talking.

What it says about you: “I take a minimalistic approach to life.”

How to wear it: Racks, on racks, on racks.

Stack them up for an elevated look.

bangle

Brands that do it best: ASOS, Jennifer Fisher, Miansai, and Cartier

What it says about you: “I like an added edge to take my outfit to the next level.”

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NOISE

The Imitation Game Movie theaters are cesspools for historically based content, and that's okay. A biopic dares to inspire viewers and create conversation more than the latest rom-com.

By Claire Dunderman Illustration by Will Smith From taking additional mortgages on his home to receiving a well-deserved Academy Award nomination, Craig Borten saw it all during the process of co-writing Dallas Buyers Club. He went through development hell and back to get the film off the ground. But now that he’s helped to perpetuate the Matthew McConaughey “McConaissance,” Borten can enjoy the Hollywood high life.

Borten explained his experience working on the film during his visit with a section of the Writer’s Journey class at Syracuse University’s Los Angeles campus last spring. As he sat in the front of the room, he described the weaving way of Hollywood screenwriting and filmmaking. Back in the 80s, Borten started gathering information for the film. He talked to friends, colleagues, and family members of Ron Woodroof,

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NOISE the loveable criminal character on whom Dallas Buyers Club is based. He even had the chance to talk to Woodroof himself before he died in 1992. And yet, the film went in and out of pre-production and entered a dormant state.

It’s no coincidence, however, that the film finally came to fruition in 2013. Over the past 10 years, films inspired by, or based on true events have tripled. Our generation represents the heart of the trend of true adaptation films. At the 2014 Academy Awards, four out of the nine films nominated for Best Picture were stories depicting true events. This year, of the eight nominees for Best Picture, four were films based on historical figures or events— Selma, The Imitation Game, The Theory of Everything, and American Sniper. These films often receive nominations for other Academy Awards, too. It’s clear that Gen-Y holds an inherent investment in reality.

Sitting through a series of coming attraction trailers in a dark movie theatre leads to the realization that films inspired by true events are omnipresent. This recent trend has become a subject of interest for bloggers, industry professionals, fans, and educators alike. Why, in this particular day and age, are we becoming more and more invested in seeing truth in our fiction? Why do so many of these pieces in entertainment receive such critical acclaim and heavy recognition? What does this say about Hollywood? After all, art, at its very root, is a reflection of society.

“There are so many of these movies out now,” Syracuse professor David Reilly says to his Writing In A Wired Culture class in explanation of an assignment. “Is it important that they keep to the truth of the stories?” As the lecture goes on, Reilly pulls up his blog to discuss Selma, the critically acclaimed film adaption of the

civil rights movement as it was led by Martin Luther King, Jr. Reilly proves the importance of historical accuracy in film by displaying the difference between the publicity photograph for Selma—with Tom Wilkinson as Lyndon B. Johnson and David Oyelowo as King—and a photograph of the real historical figures. In the latter, LBJ seems much less impressed with MLK, while the publicity photo makes the duo seem like they’re apt to work together. “It seems to me that the story between the two of them is a lot more interesting than the film makes it out to be,” Reilly says.

Reilly isn’t the only faculty member that feels dedicated to paying attention to the nuances of historical accuracy and filmmaking. Television, radio, and film professor Richard Breyer was disappointed with Johnson’s portrayal in Selma as well.

“They really missed a chance with providing a really interesting dynamic,” Breyer says.

“Johnson was not portrayed well at all, and I don’t even think that [Wilkinson] was able to act very well with how the character itself was being presented.”

Similar opinions and counter opinions exist all around the Internet. According to a Vulture article written by Bilge Ebiri, this sort of fastidiousness to history hurts, rather than helps, the films whose events and characters are derived from real life.

“There’s a world of difference between an article that lays out what a writer feels are historical inaccuracies…But if we abided solely by such standards, such epochal, classic masterpieces like Lawrence of Arabia, The Last Emperor, and Schindler’s List would...have to be ruled out,” Ebiri writes.

This divide amongst filmgoers makes it pretty clear who falls on which side of the line with films that push the envelope of historical accuracy. For instance, a film

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NOISE in the Hollywood community. When a Regardless, I think it’s working.” film tells of heroic individuals, it holds Portrayals of historical figures elicit a the potential to inspire viewers. Andrew variety of reactions among audiences. The Muckell, a senior studying television, radio, hype around Clint Eastwood’s American and film thinks that Hollywood wants to Sniper hasn’t all been positive; some see more of these films, and it can. A good have deemed the film, which depicts movie absorbs the viewer, transporting the life of U.S. military sniper Chris Kyle, him or her to a different world and inciting propaganda. Muckell disagrees. “The film visceral, emotional reactions. Even though and TV industry in America has one sole none of us lived through the civil rights purpose: to entertain us,” he says. “If it can era, watching Selma causes us to think do that by broadcasting a man or woman's critically about what it was like to be alive heroic deeds, and if it can make me care at that time. We never met King, but the about the characters themselves, then the film can make us feel like we really know industry is merely doing its job.” Films like who he was. this are meant to initiate discussion.

With such inspiring narratives for us to Hollywood can continue to create a watch, it’s only natural that viewers feel range of films from sci-fi zombie thrillers to a personal connection to a character in a historically accurate biopics about Stephen film based on true events. Muckell shares Hawking’s life and still pack theatres. And this sentiment, saying that he often feels it can do this because both appeal to inspired by the heroic characters in true a different demographic—or the same adaptation films. “I love to see people demographic, with their movie-watching who exceed their natural limits,” he says. preferences just depending on the day.

“As much as I love these post-apocalyptic, When it comes to those stories inspired teen-driven dramas that are coming out, by true events, filmmakers need only be few of them can pack the punch Argo can.” wary and stay consistent in their portrayals Breyer thinks that films based on true of the characters. The story a movie tells, stories can be used to inspire the Millennial whether it’s true or not, can be ultimately generation to actually do something aside seen as a way to entertain, rather than from worry about their GPAs, contemplate having the sole purpose of informing an which scholarships they’re going to audience. For this reason, it is the viewer’s apply to next, and post about the latest responsibility to stay informed of current trending topic on Twitter. “Young people events and historical issues; Hollywood just6. aren’t Breyer “Back in it,can’t be expected to doin that Planet acting,” of the Apes (2001).says.

Burton directed Bonham Carter starred it. for you. these decades that The Imitation Game Ultimately, it's on us. We are the alsoset, snores so much, he and Bonham Carter sleep in separate bedrooms. and7. True.

SelmaHeare young people were storytellers of our own lives.

Maybe one mobilizing, they were did moving.

They our aactions can besinger, the talk the town 8. True. Chris Sarandon Jack’s voice, but heday wasn’t good enough soof Elfman were and they were creating on Twitter and Facebook as we continue to tookprotesting over. a difference. People don’t even really become a society of ultimate information 9. False. Disney wanted to make one, but Burton wouldn’t allow it. vote nowadays,” Breyer says. “These sharing, for better or for worse. Let's just true 10.adaptations Ichabod Crane are in like Sleepy a Hollow subconscious hope that in the films about our lives, an way to get the youth to act. Or maybe it’s actor as talented and attractive as Matthew 11. Beetlejuice in Beetlejuice something that is going on in Hollywood. McConaughey is chosen to play us. JM

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WILDEST DREAMS

NOISE

The Dreaming Gypsy knows all. And nightmares, she says, acknowledge what you already fear and help you face those fears in a mediated reality. Jerk consulted this DG to find out what all those crazy-ass things that happen in your nightmares really mean.

BEING CHASED This symbolizes fear of something coming after you or something in your life destroying you. It also represents paranoia, so calm down — you're most likely This has nothing to do with literal teeth, but rather a not in danger, anyway. total loss of control over a situation.

TEETH FALLING OUT

FLYING BEING NAKED This represents fear that someone will see who you really are, or feelings of vulnerability in general, especially when you're the only one who's in the nude.

In our waking time we are in the third energy level.

When we dream we are in the 5th dimension; we are astrotraveling when we fly.

If you get good at astrotraveling in dream time, you can see the world.

You leave the body, but you’re always connected with the silver cord.

DYING Death is really about rebirth and life review. Let go of old beliefs and ways of living and you will reevaluate your life and start over.

SPIRITUAL VISITS If someone who has passed appears in your dream, it means that they are actually visiting you.

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SHEEP AND CHONG We know Syracuse students are no strangers to substances, whether you're sucking on cigarettes, chugging caffeine, or hitting the bong. But before you pop that Molly, check out what Syracuse’s own Tibor Palfai, PhD, has to say about how it’ll affect you when you’re trying to get some shut-eye. Then, read about the affects coming to life in your peers' IRL accounts gather in our all-sleep-everything poll.

If you can’t sleep after you’ve popped some addys to cram for that exam, that’s because Adderall contains four different salts of amphetamine. Amphetamine keeps you awake; the Japanese used it to stay alert on duty during World War II. Typically, this and similar drugs will keep you up for 8 to 12 hours.

“The first time I took way too much of it and was wired to the point I couldn't close my eyes until about 7am.”

ADDERALL

"Because we got drug tested at my boarding school, my friends and I would buy Adderall since it leaves your system in 24 hours. One night, I climbed out the window and scaled the building to go up a floor and smoke cigarettes with my friends on the balcony."

Maybe that venti latte before your evening class isn’t such a good idea: Caffeine has a pretty long half-life, so Palfai instructs non-insomniacs to stop drinking coffee around 5 p.m. if they want to be snoozing by 11.

CAFFEINE

FOOD

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“I have a lot of trouble sleeping if I drink coffee after 4 pm.

But that’s why God gave us marijuana.”

Ever wonder why bread makes you sleepy? It’s science.

Carbohydrates have a reputation for putting people to sleep. Fats increase the eater’s metabolic rate, which keeps you from sleeping well.

We know you guys love weed: 75 percent of you said you’ve smoked marijuana in the past year. But did you know that our brain itself creates substances that resemble marijuana? Translation: most marijuana strains will put you to sleep.

WEED

“Marijuana always makes me incredibly tired. I had a couple hits before going to a party once. I fell asleep in a chair and everyone took selfies with me!”

“When I smoke weed, I sleep like I am the pea in Princess and the Pea.”

Alcohol puts you to sleep—many of you mentioned that after a night of drinking, you sleep like a baby. But once the alcohol leaves your body, most experience a rebound effect, which causes them to wake up.

“Vivid dreams, occasional sleep walking to various bathrooms that aren’t my own, and being lost until I come to.”

ALCOHOL

“If I am really tired when I go out, alcohol will make me want to lay down anywhere and sleep. I've fallen asleep on the lounge floor, on a staircase, and on the South bus.”

On our anonymous survey, only 3 percent of respondents admitted to smoking cigarettes. Nicotine is a stimulant, so it should keep you awake. But the carbon dioxide buildup in your lungs will actually make you pass out if you smoke too many.

NICOTINE If you’ve ever taken Molly, you know how much it makes you love everyone. MDMA shares similarities with amphetamines, but it affects your brain differently. So if you’re totally wired and unable to sleep after rolling for that Tiesto concert, you might have taken some lessthan-pure MDMA.

MOLLY

“Once I stayed awake for three days eating nothing but pills and Jolly Ranchers, but then I cried for 18 hours straight when I ran out of it all.”

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BEDROOM BEHAVIOR 45%

12 PERCENT OF PEOPLE ONLY DREAM IN BLACK AND WHITE 25%

40 PERCENT of people sleep in the fetal position.

4% 264 HOURS & 12 MINUTES:

The world record for longest amount of time without sleep

WOMAN ON TOP: The most dangerous sex position for penises, according to a 2014 study POST-COITAL PILLOW TALK: Linked to increased relationship satisfaction, according to a 2014 study (so is cuddling) 56

OF ADULTS SLEEPWALK

CROSSWORD 1 3

2

4

5 6 7

8

9

10 11 12 13 14

15 16

17

18 19

20

ACROSS 3 In season 4 of Workaholics, Adam sleeps under this woman’s desk dressed like a “Dick in a Box” dude to woo her.

7 In his classic party song, this artist gets no sleep because he’s partying all day, all night.

10 The Beastie Boys won’t sleep 'til…

11 Harry Potter learned this to stop Voldemort from haunting his dreams.

12 "'Cause darling I’m a nightmare, dressed like a....”

15 In this movie, a mom and daughter fall asleep and wake up in the other’s body.

16 This Seinfeld character thinks that by sleeping for 20 minutes every 3 hours, he can gain 2.5 extra days per week.

17 In season 5 of How I Met Your Mother, Marshall and Lily temporarily sleep in these, and think they’re revolutionizing modern marriage.

19 Edward Norton narrates this movie, in which he suffers from insomnia.

20 In January, court documents claimed that Prince Andrew slept with an underage woman and had an orgy with this many people.

DOWN 1 In 30 Rock which character fears being incepted while sleeping on a plane?

2 In the second season of Orange Is the New Black character.

4 This rapper is featured in Jesse McCartney’s timeless classic “How Do You Sleep?”

5 In her last interview before her death, Joan Rivers ironically said, “I’ll sleep when I’m…”

6 In Rat Race, Mr. Bean suffers from this sleep disorder.

8 Don’t fall asleep on Elm Street, or this

9 13

14 18

your dreams.

In all ten seasons of Friends, this main character sleeps with the most people.

In Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” she raps that a man calls her this sleep aid drug when her pussy puts his ass to sleep.

This song by Notorious B.I.G. begins with the infamous lyrics “It was all a dream.”

In this 1988 movie starring Tom Hanks, a 12-year-old falls asleep and wakes up as a 30-year-old man.

jerkmagazine.net for the answers.

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ALTRUIST

PODCASTS

By Eric King

THE DEAL: Six months ago, I truly had no idea what a podcast was. Now, I can’t stop talking about them. Podcasts, the hybrid of iPod and broadcast, serve as the middle ground between AM radio shows and syndicated radio dramas. You can download them on iTunes or stream them from the websites that produce them and, just like radio, most of them are free. For me, they make the drive from Virginia to New York bearable, but now my aunt won’t stop texting me about whether or not I think Adnan did it.

THE ISSUE: In their early days, podcasts were a sort of nerdy novelty. Listeners had to set up an RSS feed and then type in a URL to stream a podcast. In 2013, the rise in podcast listeners leveled off, and many thought the technology would go down in history as a flash in the pan. But, more importantly, people think they’re boring. NPR produces most of the top podcasts—snooze. They usually tackle very broad, complicated topics related to social issues and the news, and thus remain inaccessible to the masses.

Overall, podcasts don't have a reputation for being entertaining—yet.

THE (LARGER) ISSUE: Unsurprisingly, Millennials are the most visual generation ever. News outlets now produce fewer long-form articles and more slideshows. College kids can’t absorb

information by listening to a lecture; now they need access to the professor’s PowerPoint too. Why, then, do companies continue to introduce podcasts? Doesn't that seem counterintuitive? Young people can’t be listening to these, right?

THE DEFENSE: Wrong! A 2014 Edison Research study found that 30 percent of people have listened to at least one podcast, and the average podcast user listens to about six podcasts a month. It also found that people enjoyed online radio’s better sound quality and ads that were less intrusive and fewer in quantity, yet more relevant to their lives. Now, we could chock all of this up to “Serial,” the weekly reheating of a 1999 cold case about the murder of Baltimore high school student Hae Min Lee, reported with tact and charm by NPR’s fabulous Sarah Koenig. Okay, fanboy moment over.

But, in reality, several podcasts like “Night Vale,” “Radiolab,” and even “This American Life” prove that intellectually stimulating podcasts can also be entertaining. They’re becoming more and more accessible, because, thanks to platforms like iTunes, you can press a button on your smartphone and be listening in seconds. This isn’t your grandpa’s AM radio. There is something so intimate and exciting about someone telling a story directly to your ears. It’s a magic unfulfilled by other mediums, and that’s why it will survive. JM

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AMPLIFIED

AMANDA ROGERS Hometown: Syracuse | Active since: 1999 | Sounds like: Ellie Goulding meets Janis Joplin. | What she plays: Piano, keyboard, guitar, bass guitar, accordion, melodica, shaker, and tambourine.

By Ryan Drum

Photography by Madison Schleicher

Jerk Magazine: How did you get into music?

Amanda Rogers: I started playing and writing when I was about 15. I played punk shows, hardcore shows—that was sort of a bigger scene in the 90s. I tried out coffee houses and playing with girls that had guitars. I just had too much of a darker sound. My stuff definitely begs the ear to listen.

JM: What influences your music?

AR: Since I was little, I’ve always been a bit too in tune with the suffering of the whole world. When I was a kid I didn’t want to kill bugs. I cried when my dad mowed the dandelions in the grass. I think that has heavily influenced my writing.

JM: Now the real kicker: in a zombie apocalypse which of your instruments do you use to defend yourself?

AR: (without hesitation) I would use my keyboard stand as a blunt object. It is long

enough and I think I could swing it at a good trajectory. I could take the rubber stoppers off the end—it would be sharp and do some damage.

JM: How have your sound and creative processes changed?

AR: Now, I just don’t give a crap about where my music takes me, who listens to it, or what they think of it. It is who I am and what I do, and I’ve always been into it, so it is for myself. If people gravitate to it, that is awesome, but I have no expectations.

JM: What is next for Amanda Rogers?

AR: I have already demoed about 30 songs for the next album. The next one will be called Blue and then the one after that is called Yonder. These will actually make up a trilogy called Wild Blue Yonder. The artwork is all going to line up so you can stack them on top of one another, and the songs make sense thematically from album to album. JM

See more of Amanda's interview and listen to her music at jerkmagazine.net.

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SYNAPSE

BAD BITCHES Take a seat, fellas. Bad bitches, it’s your month; March 8 marks International Women’s Day. Nicki Minaj may be the self-proclaimed “bad bitch leader,” but damsels with less-defined donks can be found in all corners of the media. Let’s toast to some of those chicks who are gettin’ down with their bad selves this March.

MOVIE: Cinderella Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton split recently, but that didn’t hinder Carter’s independent, inspiring spirit. Check out her role in the live-action remake of Cinderella; Carter hits the big screen as a new kind of fairy godmother on March 13. There’s just something about her no-nonsense antics that makes it look so good to be bad.

TELEVISION: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt New York City has the power to turn anybody into a bad bitch, even Ellie Kemper’s character on Netflix's original series Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. On March 6, watch Kimmy’s journey from a cult in Indiana to the city that never sleeps.The best part? Genius and baddest bitch Tina Fey is the force behind this comedy series.

MUSIC: Laura Marling's Short Movie This free-spirited, folk-rock goddess ditched indie outfit Noah and the Whale to do her own thing back in ‘08. And as the winner of the BRIT Award for Best Female Solo Artist in 2011, it’s clear that Miss Marling is killing it all on her own. Her latest project, Short Movie, full of folk tunes, hits shelves on March 23.

FICTION: Women of Marvel comic books Don’t get it twisted: Superheroes can be women, too. We may think of superheroes as mainly male figures, but Marvel helps us re-imagine that stereotype. Female artists take a new spin on classic superhero characters for a series of 20 variant covers for Women’s History Month. These ferocious females take feminism to a new level.

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African & Caribbean Central Market Roselinda Abbey travels all the way to Africa and the Caribbean to personally collect items for her store. This local market brings vibrant culture to Syracuse.

By Nisha Stickles

Photography by Bridget Williams

When Roselinda Abbey started a new life in Syracuse, she struggled to cook her native dishes without the integral food staples from her home country of Ghana.

This propelled her to open the African & Caribbean Central Market.

Twelve years later, Abbey’s store is still committed to serving the African immigrant and refugee community by providing them with products unavailable in Central New York. The impact of her business expands to the surrounding area as her customers travel from Utica and Rochester just to buy her ethnic goods.

Abbey visits African countries, including Ghana and Liberia, to purchase goods for her store and learn about new inventory opportunities. She stressed that as a native Ghanaian, she doesn’t know the markets of other African countries as well. However, she hopes to visit the Congo to expand her knowledge on their markets and cater to the large Congolese population in Syracuse.

“I’m in this business for life,” Abbey says. “If that means I have to travel to Africa, I’ll do it.”

The space is a coordinated assortment

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of metal racks. Brightly colored packages of grain and seasoning line the shelves and slabs of goat meat sit in humming freezers. But upon closer inspection, this standard layout differentiates itself with its unique offerings: an insight into the mélange of African cultures.

Frenchlabeled North African couscous sits alongside palm drinks imported from Caribbean islands. Various plantain products occupy all corners of the store.

“Some of the things I sell in the store I can tell you about, and others I can’t,” Abbey says.

Initially, the African & Caribbean Central Market looks like a simple store. Abbey originally planned to provide the African community a reminder of a home left behind, but the store also sells some non-African goods—like Chinese ginger tea—because of health benefits. While Abbey is serious when it comes to helping others with her store, she claims she doesn’t have any set objectives for its future.

“I take one day at a time and the future is only known by God. I try not to set goals,” Abbey says. “I’m too blessed to be stressed.” JM

DISCOVERSYR

The store's business cards propped up for the taking.

Colorful products invigorate the store's atmosphere.

A Ghanaian customer selects his usual items.

The store's owner, Roselinda Abbey.

Abbey's mother works the front of the new store.

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SPEAKEASY

PUSHING IT Frustrated with women’s voices being ignored during labor and birth, a local doula aspires to re-empower and support mamas.

By Tess Kornfeld

Photography by Renee Zhou

Jerk Magazine: What was your first birth as a doula like?

Aimee Brill: It was an emergency Caesarean and it was not what she wanted. I remember feeling aware that if she had not had a doula, she would have been left in recovery by herself, on morphine, for five hours alone. I just stayed with her while she was coming out of this medicated state. That is what support looks like.

JM: Has anything crazy happened?

AB: We're taught that birth is dramatic and scary. That's the media’s image of birth. If something happens, I ground myself in that moment and pull from my own skills to support someone. We are trained to meet it with calm presence and awareness.

JM: What is the best part of being a doula?

AB: The best part is being able to witness women becoming mothers, partners stepping into the role of father or primary partner, and the baby. There is a presence in the room that is undeniable and transformative. It teaches you about life, it teaches you about fear, it teaches you about love.

JM: What is the most challenging part of being a doula?

AB: The most challenging thing to witness

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is when birth is controlled, managed and medicalized in a way that is not serving the woman or the baby. When women are not being respected for the decisions they are making and when they feel manipulated.

As doulas, we witness this violence. We are speaking out about it.

JM: What inspired you to start Village Birth International?

AB: My husband and I traveled to Uganda in 2006. I had written to a volunteer house before asking about midwives and what birth was like there. I had the opportunity to apprentice with midwives at the Gulu Regional Referral Hospital in the Northern part of Uganda in Gulu. I built relationships, heard stories, and thought about ways to work together in partnership.

JM: What was it like in Uganda compared to the United States in terms of birthing practices?

AB: In one hospital there could be 18 women birthing in a 10-hour period.

Usually there is only one midwife, maybe two. There is a water jug but no running water and no functioning toilets. There are few medications and resources. I was trying to be open and really hear what their needs were rather than thinking I had the answers for how to fix this extremely challenging problem. JM

OBITCHUARY

THE SITCOM CAUSE OF DEATH: Suffocation

By Mike Liebenson

Illustration by Hannah Moore

These days, ABC isn't as easy as 1, 2, 3.

Thursday night, audiences pulled the plug on Sitcom. As he fought his way through his last Thursday night lineup, viewers couldn't watch him suffer anymore.

Everyone and their mother—trust me, she hated Bad Judge just as much as the rest of us—saw this coming: Sitcom’s health suffered for years. He hadn’t produced a hit since Parks and Recreation in 2009.

Sitcom’s ancestors hail from postRenaissance Europe, most famously, Shakespeare. During the mid-20th century, shows like I Love Lucy and The Honeymooners proved that Sitcom could hold the attention of an entire nation. His success continued into the era of Seinfeld, Friends, The Office, and 30 Rock.

But soon, Sitcom was churning out shows like cheap, imported Happy Meal toys. Networks flooded the market with half-baked pitches. Shows in their infancy weren’t given the time to breathe and find themselves; they were expected to be perfect. If not, networks canceled them after two or three episodes—like five NBC comedies that premiered last fall.

Fearing for his life, Sitcom panicked and pushed the shows that worked. Shows that

consistently pulled the highest ratings like The Big Bang Theory and ones that won awards, like Modern Family. But now Jim Parsons will probably have to return to acting in movies and theater. Unless you happen to be a quirky set of nerds, a funloving blonde, or an eclectic family living in California, you were next in line to get the ax. Perhaps Sitcom just needed a show about an eclectic blonde family of nerds living in Burbank?

With a constant flux of new content, people just wanted to watch what was best.

And that came from the places that were actually producing funny stuff: cable and the Internet. IFC, Comedy Central, HBO, Netflix, and Amazon all killed the game and their network counterparts in the process.

They produced the best comedic works because unlike Sitcom, they didn't need to define their success with ratings.

A private memorial will be held in the NBC Experience gift shop in New York City.

Let this be a time of remembrance and a reminder to the networks of what’s to come. Sitcom will live on in syndication forever. He is survived by independent comedies and the complete series of Friends on Netflix. JM

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FORM & FUNCTION How To Dress for Boeheimburg

Plastic cup: Keystone Light is my Gatorade.

Foam Finger: School spirit, Miley Cyrus style.

Tent: I give “Home to the Dome” a whole new meaning. ’Cuse jersey: ‘ Otto’s Army: the only team where I'm not the benchwarmer.

PHOTOGRAPHER: Rina Matsuno-Kankhetr STYLIST: Chazz Inniss MODEL: Dylan Gans

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