The Nurturing Times - Autumn 2008

Autumn 2008

Infforrmatioon on Serrvicces,, Support,, and Activittiees for Parrents and Chilldreen in the Sppokaane arreaa

A FAMILY TORN APART:

Former meth addict has second chance with her kids

By Gary Warth, Photo by Bill Wechter Reprinted with permission. First published by North County Times on December 11, 2007

VISTA, CALIFORNIA -- They were too young to fully understand what their mother was doing when she went into the garage, but they knew it was bad.

“Don’t go in the garage,” they sometimes would plea to their mother, Cebrina Alcaraz.

Heartbroken, Alcaraz would turn a deaf ear and turn away from her children, too weak to escape the dark pull that was leading her away.

“I’d just tell them to pray for me,” she said, remembering what she told her children as she shut the door behind her.

changed the world. She already had taken her oldest children to school and was parked in the driveway with her youngest, Uba, about to drive to a hardware store to buy a part for a routine home repair when the police cars arrived. They had come for her husband, Jonathan, who was in violation of parole because he had not enrolled in a drug-treatment program he had agreed to attend.

“This whole time, I didn’t think I was going to be arrested,” Alcaraz said.

But when drugs were found in the home, officers contacted the county Drug Endangered Children program, which sent someone to the house.

Cebrina Alcaraz, mother of five, vanquished addiction and got her kids back.

What happened next is a violent blur for Inside the garage of her Vista home, Alcaraz smoked methamphetamine. By then, the drug Alcaraz, who still sobs when talking about it. she once had used while partying with friends The program worker wanted her to sign some had lost its allure. She didn’t want to use an papers, and Alcaraz refused. more, but she didn’t know how to quit the “She asked me hand over my daughter, and highly addictive stimulant. “It got to I said no,” she said. “I tried to run.” the point to where it was all I could think The worker grabbed Uba from Alcaraz’s about,” she said. “I couldn’t wait until arms. There was a struggle, and Alcaraz admits I could go into the garage and take she became combative. The next moment, Alanother hit.” caraz was face-down on the ground, an officer’s Meth already had cost her a good job, but knee on her back. even that wasn’t enough to lure her away from “I thought about my kids and everything I the drug. It would take losing something far was going to lose,” she said. greater to finally open her eyes to what was at As she lay on the ground with her mind stake. recalling the years of drug use that had led to that JANUARY 10, 2006. moment, one other thought consumed her.

“I’m through.”

A TUESDAY. 11:00 A.M. Alcaraz recites the date and time precisely, – Continued on page 2 – as though recalling a historical moment that

10 Positive Discipline Techniques

by Kenia Morales Reprinted from http://www.articlecity.com/articles/ parenting/article_249.shtmlshed

Do you feel your child is out of control?

Punish him or her often and get no positive results? It might be your discipline strategy that is not working. Try using positive discipline techniques which are highly recommended by the child development professionals and see the changes in your child’s attitude. See him or her actually making efforts to cooperate with you.

If you’re child is misbehaving, sit down and talk with him or her about feelings.

1. Let child know what you expect from him or her.

2. Let child express feelings, even crying.

3. Redirect children to other games, you, toys, etc. when misbehaving.

4. Praise child’s efforts and improvements.

5. Offer child simple choices.

6. Be reasonable.

7. Make deals.

8. Be flexible.

9. Time out.

10. Be reasonable and patient – Always keep in mind that children can not behave like adults. So make sure your expectations are not too high.

IN THIS ISSUE: A Family Torn Apart ........................... 1-2 10 Positive Discipline Techniques......... 1 Bonding Babies and Dads .................... 5 Health District Fall Events ................. 6-7 Dressing a Toddler................................. 8 FREE Fun Family Events Calendar ... 11 When The Going Gets Tough ............. 11

Page 2

Autumn ‘08 • Nurturing Times

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THE ROAD DOWN Sitting in her Vista apartment, preparing for the holidays by decorating a Christmas tree with her children, the ordeal seems a lifetime ago.

The worst day of her life has become a day she could not have lived without.

“I honestly believe if I hadn’t been arrested, I’d still be out there messing around,” she said.

Her slide into drug addiction was not a nightmare of dysfunction, abuse and homelessness. Up to her two weeks in jail last year, Alcaraz had never been arrested. She was an addict, but always had her children. While she lost at least one job, she always had a roof over her head.

But she knew it would end badly, as it had for her parents, both heroin addicts. Her father, who died of cancer 10 years ago, had spent time in prison for drug possession, she said.

“He was in and out of prison from before I was born,” she said.

Her mother, who died of a drug overdose in 1985, was in prison when Alcaraz first began using methamphetamine, she said.

Why didn’t she heed these warning signs about drug abuse?

“I was just young and stupid,” Alcaraz said.

She had smoked pot and drank a little as a teenager, but she did not try meth until she was 20, she said, when it was offered to her from a man she had known back when the two attended Alta Vista High School together.

“I’d be able to stay up for a couple of days,” she remembered about her early days of using the drug. “I had a lot of energy. I could clean and go on forever.”

After snorting it for about four times a week for a few months, Alcaraz said the energy was replaced by paranoia.

“I locked myself in my room and thought everybody was out to get me,” she said. “I swore the room was bugged.”

Barricaded inside a room and with her aunt outside the door trying to coax her into eating, Alcaraz began to realize that she couldn’t handle the drug. She moved in with her aunt in San Marcos to get away from the drug environment around her.

“I didn’t want to use drugs anymore,” she said.

But Alcaraz said she had a wild streak at the time. Despite a move to and from El Paso, Texas, and stretches of sobriety that lasted up to two years, she eventually fell back in with her old crowd and began using meth again.

In 1991, she married her boyfriend, Jonathan.

Their first child, Elias, was born 16 years ago, and Alcaraz said she began three straight years of sobriety.

Her husband, however, did use, she said.

When he was arrested for drug use, Alcaraz said, she reconnected with her own friends and relapsed.

“I just wanted to drink and snort crystal and be a mom sometime,” she said. “I knew it was wrong.”

Alcaraz said 1998 was a low point. A mother of three by then, she was working as a health

unit secretary at a hospital and earning decent money, but was irresponsible. She said she was fired just three months into the job for repeatedly being late or absent.

It was a wake-up call, she said, but one that didn’t last. Her cycle of sobriety and relapse continued until that January day in 2006 when police arrived at her home.

THE ROAD BACK “I remember I was walking home from school and a lady told me to get in the car,” Alcaraz’s son Jonathan, 10, said about the day his mother was arrested. He saw Uba crying in the back seat of the woman’s car and got inside.

The five children were sent to foster care.

“It was weird being in foster care, because I didn’t know the people, but they got us clothes while we were there, and toys,” Jonathan said.

The court later allowed Alcaraz’s in-laws to take their grandchildren in, and while she was relieved her children were with family members, she said she also was surprised by how strictly her in-laws followed the court’s rule to allow her only one hour a week to visit.

Those days were frustrating and heartbreaking for Alcaraz. The visits were awkward, she said, and her children seemed distant.

But in fact the roughest part was behind them, and they now had a chance to truly bond.

“She wasn’t really there,” Jonathan said about the days when his mother was still using.

“She wasn’t really with us.”

Alcaraz also admits that at times she was there physically for her children, but not always emotionally.

The family has wrestled with those issues at counseling sessions that were required as part of the reunification plan.

“There’s a lot of support out there,” she said.

She said she found the strength to stay sober through her faith and a 12-step program, and she learned that she was not alone through group counseling sessions.

“I know there were a lot of other women there who battled with meth,” she said. “I didn’t know there were so many.”

On Sept. 19, 2006, another date she easily remembers, Alcaraz regained custody of Uba. One month later she regained custody of Elias, Adriana, Ricky and Jonathan.

Alcaraz filed for divorce in June 2006, and her ex-husband is serving a seven-year prison term. She completed her court-ordered programs in February of this year, and the drug-using friends from her past are out of her life, she said.

Alcaraz now works as a phlebotomist and hopes to buy her own home in the near future.

“I want my kids to grow up and thrive and have a good life,” she said. “All I can now do is put my best foot forward and show them the right way.”

Editor’s Note: I talked with Cebrina Alcaraz on the phone; it has been nearly three years and her family is still together and doing very well. ☺

“Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.” - John W. Whitehead

Page 3

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Any opinions, fiAny ndings, and conclusions recommendations expressed in this material are thoseare ofthose the author’s and doand notdo necessarily necessarily reflectof the views s of the United States Department ofand Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families. refl ect the views the United States Department of Health Human Services, Administration for Children and Families.

- Rev. Dr. W. Wilson Goode, Sr., twice mayor of Philadelphia, executor of the Amachi Model of Mentoring and senior staff member for Public/Private Venture

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Autumn ‘08 • Nurturing Times

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“We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he or she is someone today.” - Stacia Tauscher

Page 5

Bonding Babies and Dads

by Doug Nadvornick

Tips for

Reprinted with permission. First published by the Inlander on April 4, 2007

Jacob Barnett has figured out the remedy for his 4-month-old daughter Zalia’s stomach aches. “I rub her feet and it works,” he says.

“It’s weird that massage can do that.”

Soon after Zalia was born, friends of Barnett and his fiancé Kim Conley gave them a gift certificate for four two-and-a-halfhour massage/parenting sessions with infant massage instructor Kim Harmson.

“Massage allows parents to connect with their babies on a very deep level,” says Harmson. “There’s eye-to-skin contact.

There’s vocalization. There’s looking into each other’s eyes. There’s reading and responding to baby’s cues. It’s a connection that allows both sides to see so many subtleties about each other so that later they can anticipate each other.”

Harmson says massage is perfect for first-time parents who are hesitant about handling babies and how much pressure they should apply.

“She’s so small and [Barnett] was scared about hurting her,” says Conley. “Now he knows how to handle her and she definitely enjoys it.”

When he rubs his hands together (the universal sign for massage, says Harmson),

Tips fora Calming Calming a Crying Baby Things to try:

Crying Baby

Massage is a pleasurable way to develop trust and intimacy with your baby and strengthen the bond between the two of you.

Zalia gets excited and raises her legs, awaiting his touch.

“Her favorite is the leg massage and her feet are ticklish,” Barnett says.

Harmson says massage is enjoying a new surge of popularity. “There’s tons of research about the benefits, about bonding and attachment,” she says. “And it’s a good way for a working parent to come home and de-stress.”

And that’s one of Jacob Barnett’s favorite things about it. “It’s our time together. It helps both of us to relax.”☺

• Feed baby slowly & burp often Things to diaper try: is dry • Make sure baby’s w Feed baby slowly and burp often • Give baby a warm bath w Make sure baby’s diaper is dry • wDim lights & lower noise level Give baby a warm bath • wPlay singnoise or talk Dim soft lightsmusic, and lower levelto baby in a calm voice w Play soft music, sing or talk to

baby baby in a calm voice • Hold close & rock gently w Hold baby close and rock gently • Take baby for car or stroller ride w Take baby for a car or stroller • Call ride a friend or relative you trust Callbaby a friend relative you trust • wPut in aorcrib or bassinet take ina abreak wand Put baby crib or bassinet and take a break

NEVER SHAKE w NEVER ORBABY! HIT A BABY ORSHAKE HIT A w Call 1-800-4-ACHILD, Call 1-800-4-ACHILD 24 hours/day 24 hours/day

Spokane Regional Health District • www.srhd.org

845 South Sherman Street • Spokane WA 99202 509-455-8722 • www.mlkspokane.org

Our Family Services Department provides local families with a support structure and nurturing environment. Parents actively participate in programs that help provide the tools necessary for their children’s future success.

Prevention programs target low-income, at-risk families who are striving to make financial security, family stability, healthy relationships and educational success a reality for their children.

Intervention programs seek to break the cycle of inter-generational poverty, oppression, abuse and/or neglect. Most families in these programs are mandated for services by the state Department of Child and Family Services.

Our Child and Youth Services Department works with Spokane-area children and youth, and provides them with a safe, holistic environment where they can learn and grow.

Early Childhood Education and Assistance Program (ECEAP) is a half day, state funded preschool program designed to help low-income or at-risk children and their families prepare for and succeed in school and in life.

Child Care Program provides childcare to children before or after ECEAP and before school for school age children.

Fulfillment Maturity Enrichment Program (FAME) is substance abuse prevention after school program for children who attend Grant, Sheridan, or Roosevelt elementary schools.

Summer Youth Academy and Teen Leadership Program (SYA/TLP) is a structured nine-week summer program designed to build self-esteem, promote diversity, and cultural awareness. SYA/TLP also promotes literacy, offers recreational activities, and community service projects.

In 2007 over 2,000 individuals from more than 800 families participated in programs offered by the Martin Luther King Jr. Family Outreach Center.

Page 6

Autumn ‘08 • Nurturing Times

Give Your Kids a Healthy Start with WIC The Women, Infants and Children (WIC) Nutrition Program provides nutrition and breastfeeding education, monthly checks to purchase healthy food, and help finding needed community resources. WIC serves pregnant and breastfeeding women, infants and children up to age five, based on eligibility criteria. Call WIC today to give your child a healthy start at 324-1620.

FALL 2008 PROGRAMS & SERVICES

PROGRAMS & SERVICES at the Health District...

Alcohol & Drug Programs Birth & Death Certificates Clinic Services, Immunizations Dental Programs Disease Prevention Programs Emergency Preparedness Environmental Public Health Food Safety Program HIV/AIDS Program Injury Prevention Program Laboratory Services Physical Activity & Nutrition Public Health Nursing Programs Reproductive Health Programs Senior Nutrition Program Tobacco Prevention Program Information on all our programs WIC Nutrition Program can be found at:

www.srhd.org

Information on all our programs can be found at:

www.srhd.org

Tobacco Program

Public Health Nurses

Children are healthier when they are not exposed to secondhand smoke. Free information and help to quit smoking is available by calling 324-1553 or the WA State Quit Line at 1-800-QUIT-NOW.

Pregnant and postpartum women, children and families may be eligible to receive services through home and office visits with public health nurses.

Call 324-1640 to find out more.

Reproductive Health

Child Care Provider Training

Information to help prevent unintended pregnancies is offered to teens and young adults. Education about sexuallytransmitted diseases and emergency contraception is also available.

Call 324-1648.

Improving the quality of child care is a vital part of a healthy community.

Licensed child care providers may enroll in specialized training courses such as First Aid/CPR or STARS classes offered by the Health District.

Call 324-1640 or 324-1536.

Head Lice Information for head lice is available, including a video and coloring book. Nurses in the Health District’s Clinic can confirm head lice and recommend treatment.

Call 324-1530 or 324-1600.

Children with Special Health Care Needs Caring for children with (or at risk for) disabilities and chronic conditions can be overwhelming. We work closely with families, providing care coordination and access to community resources for children from birth to age 18.

Call 324-1697.

Free Car Seat Check-Ups

SignUp Upfor forHealthy HealthyTeeth Teeth Sign

Keep your child safe when riding in a vehicle. Free car seat check-ups are available throughout Spokane County. To schedule an appointment, call the Spokane Child Passenger Safety Team Hotlineat at232-2985.

232-2985.

Hotline

Caringfor foryour yourchild’s child’ssmile smileisiseasy easywith with Caring ABCD and ABCDE. Access to Baby and Child ABCD and ABCDE. Access to Baby and Child Dentistry (ABCD) matches eligible infants, Dentistry (ABCD) matches eligible infants, toddlersand andpreschoolers preschoolerstotoparticipating participating toddlers dentists,where wherethey theyreceive receivedental dentalservices services dentists, until their sixth birthday.

The ABCD until their sixth birthday. The ABCD “Expanded”program programtrains trainsdoctors doctorsto to “Expanded” apply fluoride varnish to patients up toage age apply fluoride varnish to patients up to 19.

Caring for your child’s smile starts when 19. Caring for your child’s smile starts when yousee seethe thefirst firsttooth! tooth!Call Call324-1550.

324-1550. you

Always working for a safer and healthier community

“Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. “ - Fran Lebowitz

Page 7

Halloween Safety Tips: w Can your child see? Paint their face, or use a mask with wide eye holes. w Have your child carry a flashlight, or wear bright colors or reflective tape. w Make sure their costume fits well and that nothing will cause them to trip. w Trick-or-treat in a group. w Cross streets at crosswalks and intersections. Teach them to stop and look left, right, and left again before crossing the street. w Make a rule that you have to check their treats before they can eat them.

Safety SafetyInspections Inspections Pools, schools and restaurants in Spokane County are inspected regularly by environmental health professionals.

Information about drowning prevention, chemical & physical hazards, food safety, and more is available by calling 324-1560.

Need a Birth Certificate?

Need a Birth Certificate?

Your child will need an official birth record to enroll in school or travel outside the country. Plan ahead! Obtain certified copies of Washington State birth records through the Vital Records office.

Call 324-1522 to order.

Does your child need a flu shot?

It’s estimated that each year in the U.S. more than 20,000 children under age 5 are hospitalized due to flu. And sadly, last flu season, 72 children died due to flu-related causes.

To protect their health, all children –aged 6 months up to their 19th birthday– should be vaccinated against the flu each year.

Who else should be vaccinated?: w Pregnant women w People 50 years of age and older w People of any age with certain chronic medical conditions w People who live in nursing homes and other long-term care facilities w People who live with or care for those at high risk for complications from flu w And, anyone who wants to reduce their chances of getting the flu More than 10,000 children in Spokane were protected from the flu last year because their parents chose to immunize them.

Are Your Kids Up-to-Date?

Immunizations Our Public Health Clinic can help you get your child up-todate on their immunizations.

We provide all recommended vaccines, as well as flu shots and travel vaccines. Fees may be reduced based on family size and income. Call 324-1600 for an appointment.

Find out more: CDC Seasonal Flu Info: www.cdc.gov/flu/ CDC Immunization Info: www.cdc.gov/vaccines/

Protect your child this flu season. Call your health care provider or our clinic at 324-1600 for an appointment.

1101 West College Avenue Spokane, WA 99201-2095 | 509-324-1500 | TDD 324-1464

Page 8

Autumn ‘08 • Nurturing Times

Dressing a Toddler, for Whomever She is Today

by David Leonhardt

Reprinted from www.thehappyguy.com

It takes skill to dress a toddler at 30 mph!

Some things we take for granted. Like getting dressed. Unless we are paraplegic, an absolute klutz or have just smoked far too much cabbage, getting dressed is a cinch.

Sure, if you happen to be the winner of the 2004 Imelda Marcos Shoe Collection Trophy, you might have trouble choosing just the right shoe for the occasion. But actually slipping your foot into your selection should be a cinch.

The only time getting dressed should pose a problem is on April Fools Day. Underwear is pretty hard to put on when it is drenched in water. Harder still when it comes straight out of the freezer. And even harder when wrapped around last year’s frozen Christmas cake. But that still leaves 364 days of easy dressing.

Some things we just take for granted… until you become a parent.

“No!” Little Lady screams in mock rage.

Just come back here so I can pull up your socks and slip on your dress.

“No!” the toddler repeats in defiance.

Did you know that there are some things you can do at 30 miles per hour? Putting a toddler dress on an agile speed-demon is not one of those things. Around the chair. Over the back of the couch. Under the table. Into the bathroom. SLAM! Ouch. Make that: into the bathroom door.

“No!” Please, Little Lady, let me put on your dress.

“I’m not Little Lady. I’m Baby Swan.”

OK, Baby Swan. Let me put on your dress.

“You’re Papa Baby Swan.”

OK. You’re Baby Swan. I’m Papa Baby Swan. Just let me put on your dress.

“Now I’m Tutter.”

Tutter is a mouse puppet in a children’s show she watches. OK, Tutter, let’s put on the Tutter dress.”

“No. You be Tutter.”

OK, I’ll be Tutter. I’ll be whomever you want me to be. Yesterday I was Big Spider.

The day before I was Spider Web. I remember being a crocodile, a monkey and a detective. I have no idea who I am anyway, so I might as well be Tutter.

It can be scream to dress your child whether it’s for everyday or Halloween.

“Are you Tutter?”

We hear a lot about the “terrible twos”, but we don’t hear much about the identity crisis years. Speaking with mothers down at the play center, it seems many kids go through this phase.

“I saa-aid, are you Tutter?”

How did your mother dress her toddler?

You probably did, too. Ask your mother if you ever went through a phase when you were always pretending to be someone else…

so much so that you were almost convinced it was real.

It’s bad news if your mother’s eyes gloss over nostalgically and she answers, “Yes dear, I remember when you were quite convinced you were an African dung beetle.”

It’s worse news if she adds, “I think the pre-teen years were the hardest. We had no idea how to explain the birds and the bees to a beetle.”

But the worst news is if your mother sighs and says, “I remember well. Your father and I are still hoping it’s just a phase you’re going through.”

The best of us go through identity crises now and then. I am The Happy Guy. I am also a writer. And a search engine optimizer. And a husband. And a homeowner. And a father.

But not this morning. This morning I was a very tired and frustrated Tutter mouse puppet …with a toddler dress in one hand, a stubbed toe in another, and generously distributed bruises to prove my credentials.

“No!” Aw, c’mon, Baby Swan. This is your Tutter speaking. Please come out from under the staircase.

“No. You be Baby Swan.”

I suppose that at her age, she can probably get away with going topless. But sooner or later she’ll get hungry. And when she comes out to feed, I’ll get that toddler dress on Baby Swan. Or Tutter. Or whomever that toddler is today!

“A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer.” - Author Unknown

The Spokane Fathers Network provides a time for fathers to come together and share the joys, challenges, values, and ideas of raising our children with special needs.

The SFN meets the 3rd Saturday of each month at: Frankie Doodles Restaurant – 30 E. 3rd Ave—10:00 a.m.

Come join us and see what this unique group is all about!

For more information contact Gregg Osborne at 509-768-1383

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PARTNERS WITH FAMILIES & CHILDREN: SPOKANE Where the children are seen and heard 613 S Washington • P.O. Box 248 • Spokane, WA 99210-0248 Phone 509-473-4829 • Fax 509-473-4840

Partners with Families and Children have been helping families since 1987 under various names and configurations. Throughout all this time some things have remained the same. We are here to help parents become the best parents they can be so that their families can be the best they can be.

We offer several services: chemical dependency/mental health programs for both men and women, Family Team coordination, forensic interviewing and well-child exams.

A theme that underpins all of our interventions is child centered treatment. Every step of the way we will ask, “What’s in the best interests of your child?” If the course of action is in the best interests of your children then it will be in your best interest as well. The decisions you made in the past were the best decisions that you could have made at the time. Now you can learn to make better choices for yourself and your children.

We receive all of our referrals through the Department of Children and Family Services. You can expect to be involved in monthly family team meetings and treated with respect and dignity every step of the way. We want you to become the best parents that you can be. If this sounds like something you would want please contact your DCFS worker to discuss a possible referral to our program.

Our kids: Our business

“Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.” - Harold S. Hulbert

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FUN FAMILY EVENTS CALENDAR Oct 4 KPBX Kids’s Concert 1-2 pm Female Folkies with Jenny Edgren and Molly & Tenbrooks. River Park Square Atrium • 808 W Main Ave. More info. www.kpbx.org or call 509-328-5729.

Oct 4-25 ‘’Family Fire Safety’’ Clinics 1 pm Hosted by Home Depot and American Red Cross in recognition of National Fire Safety Month. Families learn about the types and use of smoke alarms, carbon monoxide alarms and fire extinguishers. Clinics are offered every Saturday during October at two Home Depot stores: North Spokane • 9116 N Newport Hwy • (509) 466-8991 and Spokane Valley • 5617 E Sprague Ave • (509) 534-8588.

Oct 18 Fall Compost Fair & 11 am - 2 pm Leaf Festival Come play in the autumn leaves and learn about composting from Spokane Master Composters. Spokane County attendees (w/ID verifying residence) can receive a free plastic compost bin after completing activities. Finch Arboretum • SW Spokane off of Sunset Blvd • 3404 W Woodlawn Blvd. More info www.solidwaste.org or (509) 625-6580.

When the Going Gets Tough…

Times are difficult; many parents struggle to provide for their family’s basic needs. With the added stress of the holidays looming, parents are ill tempered and feel worse when challenged by children. However, don’t misinterpret your children’s antics as disrespect or disobedience.

Children, even babies, sense our worries; their frustrating behavior is often a result of their reaching out to us. Children want to know we are still in charge; they need to feel some security. So if your child is acting out more than usual, it is time sit down with him or her. Talk with your child in simple terms about feelings and what he or she understands. You may be surprised to learn what your child really feels.

Always put your children’s safety first. If you’re struggling with being a nurturing parent, then reach out and seek help. Talk to a friend, a counselor; find someone you can depend on. If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you care for your children? If you need a break, there are many free services that can assist.

It is understandable you want to protect your family in these troubling times, but now is not the time to be isolated. It is better to share. Make connections with your children, your friends and family and the community around you. When you do, you will find that you’re not alone in your struggles. When the going gets tough, don’t run away, talk it out, and stand together.

Never give up hope!

Jeremiah Donier, Nurturing Times Editor

Oct 30 Community Halloween Party 6 - 9 pm Costume Contest! Fun Games, Activities, and Prizes. Treats for Children.

Hosted by Dads Helping Dads. Fowler Church • 3928 N Howard. More info. dads helpingdads@gmail.com or (509) 290-6494.

Nov 8 & 9 Fall Folk Festival 10 am - 10 pm The 13 Annual Fall Folk Noon - 5 pm Festival, presented by the Spokane Folklore Society. Featuring eight stages of traditional and ethnic dance and music, workshops, crafts for children and jamming. Traditional crafts and meals for purchase. Spokane Community College • Lair Building • 1810 N Greene St. More info. www.spokanefolklore.org or call (509) 747-2640.

Nov 22 KPBX Kids’s Concert 1-2 pm Songs Of The Civil War with music from Wide River, narrated by Leonard Oakland. Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W Sprague Ave. More info. www.kpbx.org or call 509-328-5729.

Nov 28 Holiday Light Show Parade 5 pm Welcome the Holiday Season with the annual parade featuring Santa in his sleigh, colorful floats, music, thousands of Christmas lights and followed by fireworks!

Downtown Coeur d’Alene. More info. www. cdadowntown.com or 208-667-5986.

Dec 5-13 Christmas Tree Elegance 10 am - 9 pm Opening Lighting Ceremony Friday December 5 at 6 p.m. Free viewing of 12 decorated trees, raffle tickets $1 each.

The Davenport Hotel • 10 S Post St. More info. www.spokanesymphonyassoc.org or 509-458-8733.

Dec 20 KPBX Kids’s Concert 1-2 pm A Bavarian Holiday with German tuba band SPARC. Bing Crosby Theater • 901 W Sprague Ave. More info. www.kpbx. org or call 509-328-5729.

If you have a FREE family friendly community event post it here for free!

FOWLER UNITED METHODIST CHURCH COME JOIN US FOR WORSHIP AND PRAISE!

10:30 SUNDAY WORSHIP SERVICE 9:00 SUNDAY SCHOOL FOR ALL AGES Nursery Available Pastor Glen Kennedy 3928 N Howard Spokane, WA 99205 509-325-3242 .

For information regarding the Fall season and Advent/Christmas programs, call the church office.

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Autumn ‘08 • Nurturing Times

To request help or report a suspected case of child abuse or neglect:

911

Child Abuse/Neglect Referrals: Child Protective Services Spokane County 509-363-3333 8 am-4:30 pm/M-F 1-800-562-5624 after hours/weekends Kootenai County 208-769-1515 Crisis Residential Center 509-624-2868 Crosswalk 509-838-6596 Vanessa Behan Crisis Nursery 509-535-3155 Spokane Mental Health 509-838-4428 SAFeT Response Center 509-624-7273 Project Safe Place, Kootenai County 208-676-0772 Children’s Village, Kootenai County 208-667-1189

This newsletter is published by Dads Helping Dads, a non-profit self supporting group of fathers. Articles and images are used with permission or listed as free online.

If you are interested in submitting an article or advertising contact Jeremiah at 509-475-8404 or dadshelpingdads@gmail.com. Deadline for next issue is December 12, 2008.

Dads Helping Dads President & Founder: Terrence Craven Newsletter Editor: Jeremiah Donier • Copy Editor: Helen Donier

$75.00 full page $37.00 1/2 page $20.00 1/4 page $25.00 full column $13.00 1/2 column $7.00 1/4 column $4.00 per column inch

Layout, Graphics and Printing were done at the:

Goodwill Industries of the Inland Northwest PRINT SHOP Advertising, Graphic Design, & Business Forms 130 East Third Avenue Spokane, Washington 99202 509-444-2393 • Fax 462-0512 jeremiahd@giin.org

Any guy can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad Do you struggle to be a nurturing parent?

Are you separated from your partner and/or kids?

Need a safe place to talk about your troubles? urself?

Perhaps you just want some time for yourself?

JOIN A FREE GROUP OF DADS WHO WANT TO BE THE BEST INFLUENCE IN THEIR CHILDREN’S LIVES! WHEN: Friday evenings at 7:00 p.m.

WHERE: Fowler Church, 3928 N Howard, Spokane

Children Welcome!

For more info please call Terrence 290-6494